Topic: Write an essay (between 250-350 words) that examines why fast food has been

enjoying widespread popularity among youngsters in Vietnam.

Fast food is becoming more and more popular among young people in Vietnam. Regarding
usage and recognition, fast food chains are well-liked in Vietnam. A survey of around 600
male and female participants aged 18-55 was carried out which found that consumers in
Vietnam and other countries around the world generally like fast food.

Fast food's appeal among young Vietnamese people can be attributed in part to its
convenience. Fast food restaurants are a great choice for people pressed for time because they
are typically found in convenient locations and serve food quickly. Furthermore, a large
range of meal options are provided by fast food companies, accommodating a range of
inclinations and preferences.

The social component of eating out is another factor contributing to the appeal of fast food
among young Vietnamese people. Fast food restaurants that are located in stylish locations
with contemporary, distinctive designs for dating, get-togethers, birthday celebrations, and
anniversaries are becoming more and more popular among Vietnam's youth as they change
their eating habits. Fast food outlets have evolved into places where people congregate
socially, with young people frequently doing so to catch up with friends and relatives.

It's crucial to remember that consuming fast food has drawbacks. Fast food is often heavy in
calories, fat, and sodium, which can lead to health problems such as obesity, heart disease,
and diabetes. Consequently, choose healthier options whenever feasible and only
occasionally eat fast food.

In conclusion, fast food's convenience, variety, and social features have contributed to its
great popularity among young people in Vietnam. Nonetheless, it's important to understand
the various health hazards connected to fast food consumption and, whenever feasible,
choose better options.
1. Content:
- The author did not write any Thesis statement in the introduction to start her main content.
- Instead of including one main reason in each body paragraph, she combined two reasons
(convenience, variety) in body 1. Besides, her logical arguments and facts in this body are not
enough to persuade readers.
- Furthermore, in body 2, the writer gave 2 supporting sentences, which can make her point
of view clear and thorough.
- However, I personally think she should put the idea of body 3 into the conclusion because it
seems like advice and warning for youngsters rather than a particular reason.
- Despite the above-mentioned mistakes, her restatement is considerably concise and good.
The author also warned about health issues of fast-food consumption in large amounts to alert
Vietnamese youth.

2. Organization:
- Body 1 does not have the listing-order transition signals, like first, firstly, to begin with, first
of all, etc,. to connect the introduction with this paragraph. Accordingly, the transition
between the body 2 and 3 is similar.
- The writer just used a few linking words in her work, and there are some positions she
should put the appropriate transitions (Besides; In addition; Furthermore) into, especially the
body 2, which can improve the coherence of the article.
-> Due to the lack of transitional words, her content is not smooth and silky when
transforming from one sentence to another.

3. Vocabulary:
- The author repeated the words or phrases many times; therefore, she needs to utilize the
synonym of these words to make the readers interested in her work. For example:
+ “young people” -> youngster; the youth; younger generations; young consumers/
customers, and so on.
+ “people” -> consumers; customers; individuals; the intended/targeted audience, etc.,
+ “are becoming more and more popular” -> are increasingly prevalent/ widespread; are
driving its popularity, etc.,
- Nevertheless, she took advantage of some collocations and phrases relevant to this topic to
develop her opinions, such as “contemporary, distinctive designs”; “stylish locations”; and
“accommodating a range of inclinations and preferences”.

4. Grammar:
- The writer used correct sentence structures and verb forms throughout the essay.
- In addition, she employs various grammar structures efficiently, enhancing the essay’s
coherence and persuasiveness. For instance:
+ “Fast food restaurants are a great choice for people pressed for time because they are
typically found in convenient locations and serve food quickly.” -> Complex Sentence and
Passive Voice.
+ “… by fast food companies, accommodating a range of inclinations and preferences.” ->
Reduced Relative Clauses by Using Present Particle.
+ “A survey of around 600 male and female participants aged 18-55 was carried out which
found that consumers in Vietnam and other countries around the world generally like fast
food.” -> Relative Clause; Complex Sentence; and Passive Voice.
+ “Fast food is becoming more and more popular among young people in Vietnam” ->
Double Comparative.

OVERALL:
- Although the writer makes some errors in the performance of her writing, she has a good
understanding of the key components contributing to the widespread enjoyment of fast food
among the Vietnamese youth.
- Moreover, there are a few things the writer needs to focus on and improve:
+ Content: try to paraphrase in other versions that help her not only expand her writing skills
but also improve her brainstorming. Also, she needs to have a clear Thesis statement to
introduce to the readers what she will do in the essay before getting into the next step.
Besides, it is essential to give one main reason in each body paragraph in this kind of essay
and avoid offering advice in the body parts because it would be better if it be in concluding
paragraph.
+ Organization: attempt to use different transitional words to link sentences together much
more smoothly so that there are no abrupt jumps or breaks between points.
+ Vocabulary: apply some synonyms if necessary, enrich her relevant vocabulary, and use
appropriate collocations as well as the correct word form.
+ Grammar: be careful with the spelling and grammar styles when building the paragraph,
and use alternating kinds of sentences, such as adverb phrases of reason or conditional
sentences, which makes her writing better and more approachable.

I hope my comments and sharing will come in handy.

Sincerely,
Thao Nhu.