Date: 13.09.

2023

Day: Tuesday

Report on Emotional Regulations

Lot No: 4

The American College, Madurai

To be presented in the Round of “Best Manager” conducted

in Bishop Heber College, Tiruchirappalli.

Introduction:
Emotions are a normal part of everyday life. We feel frustrated when we’re stuck in
traffic. We feel sad when we miss our loved ones. We can get angry when someone lets
us down or does something to hurt us.

While we expect to feel these emotions regularly, some people start to experience
emotions that are more volatile. They feel higher highs and lower lows, and these peaks
and valleys begin to impact their lives. Individuals who experience intense emotions
may find themselves calm one moment and then sad or angry the next.

While any of us can have times when our emotions spin out of control, for some people
it happens regularly. Their rapidly changing emotions can cause them to do and say
things they later regret. They may damage relationships or hurt their credibility with
others

There can be a number of reasons that someone loses control of their emotions. They
may be genetically predisposed to these rapid changes. They may never have seen
good emotional regulation modeled or learned the skills. They may lose control when
they experience triggers for negative situations that happened in the past. There can
also be physical changes that cause a person to lose control of their emotions, such as
exhaustion or a drop in blood sugar.

No matter the reason for the emotional volatility, the good news is that we can learn
better self-regulation. We can all benefit from learning strategies to control our
emotions. Emotional regulation is the ability to better control our emotional state.

Methodology
In this report the secondary data has been used by collecting and analyzing various
documents related to emotional regulations written by various authors, who wrote their
research by collecting primary data by acquiring multiple samples and content related to
emotional regulation.
What is Emotional Regulation? A Definition
“Emotional regulation refers to the process by which individuals influence which
emotions they have, when they have them, and how they experience and express their
feelings. Emotional regulation can be automatic or controlled, conscious or
unconscious, and may have effects at one or more points in the emotion producing
process.” (Gross, 1998, p. 275).

The definition of emotional regulation encompasses both positive and negative feelings,
along with how we can strengthen them, use them, and control them.

Emotional regulation involves three components:

 Initiating actions triggered by emotions.

 Inhibiting actions triggered by emotions.
 Modulating responses triggered by emotions.

Ideally, the third component is the best way to make the most of the regulatory
processes.

Every day, we face hundreds of emotion-provoking stimuli, and most of them require
some action or response from our end. It is only natural for the mind to get hooked into
some negative contemplation or unmindfully ignore emotions after getting bombarded
with so many stimuli every day (Davidson, 1998).

Emotional regulation acts as a modifier; it helps us filter the most important pieces of
information and motivates us to attend to it in a way that wouldn’t evoke stress or fear.

Studies on emotional regulation indicate that there is a significant positive correlation

between emotion regulation and depression management. People with lower levels of
anxiety show higher emotional control and social-emotional intelligence.
Research indicates that emotions are adaptive responses that have a deep-rooted basis
in evolutionary biology (Levenson, 1999). The way we feel and interpret them affects
how we think, how we decide, and how we coordinate our actions in day-to-day lives.

For example, a person who has poor emotion regulation strategies is more likely to fall
prey to mood polarities; their actions and behavioral patterns would always be at the
mercy of their emotions.

Quite the contrary, a well-regulated person, will have a better balance and judgment of
their feelings and actions. Emotional regulation allows us to carefully judge which
affective outcomes to embrace and which ones to avoid (Wegner, Erber, & Zanakos,
1993).

When we confront a provoking stimulus, the natural reaction of the brain is to activate
the amygdala, a brain site that regulates the fight-or-flight responses (Lee, 2018; Van
der Kolk, 1994). Emotional regulation processes allow us to buy time before we act on
the fight or flight triggers.

6 Most Useful Emotional Regulation Skills for Adults

Self-regulation is all about pausing between feeling and reactions – it encourages us to
slow down for a bit and act after objectively evaluating a situation. For example, a
student who yells at others and hits their friends for petty reasons surely has less
emotional control than a child who, before hitting or yelling, tells the teacher about their
problems.

Another huge aspect of emotional regulation is value engagement. When we react

impulsively without paying much attention to what is going on inside, we might often
deviate from our core values and act in a way that is opposite to them. With proper
regulation and self-control, we gain the power to stay calm under pressure and prevent
ourselves from acting against our core values and ethics.
Here are some skills that can help in cultivating emotional regulation and sustaining it
during challenging times in life.

1. Self-awareness

Noticing what we feel and naming it is a great step toward emotional regulation. For
example, when you feel bad, ask yourself – Am I feeling sad, hopeless, ashamed, or
anxious?

Give yourself some options and explore your feelings. Try to name the specific emotions
that you can feel intensely within yourself at that very moment, and write it down if you
want. You need not act or judge the cause and effect of your emotions at this stage; all
you need is complete awareness of each feeling that is controlling your mind ‘right now.’

2. Mindful awareness

In addition to gaining thought awareness, mindfulness lets us explore and identify all
aspects of the external world, including our body. Simple mindful exercises such as
breath control or sensory relaxation can calm the storm inside and guide our actions in
the right way.

3. Cognitive reappraisal

Cognitive reappraisal includes altering the way we think. It is an essential component of

psychotherapies like CBT, DBT, and Anger Management, and calls for greater
acceptance and flexibility.

Cognitive reappraisal skills may include practices such as thought replacement or

situational role reversals, where we try to look into a stressful situation from a whole
new perspective.

For example, we can replace thoughts like ‘My boss hates me’, ‘I am no longer needed
here’, etc. with alternatives such as, ‘My boss is upset at this moment, I am sure I can
make up for this’, or ‘I know I am hard working and honest, let me give it another try’,
etc.. By doing so, we gain a broader and better perception of our problems and react to
them with more positivity.
4. Adaptability

Emotional dysregulation lowers our adaptability to life changes. We become more prone
to distractions and fail our coping mechanisms, which is why we often start resisting
changes. A great exercise to build adaptability is objective evaluation.

For example, when you feel bogged down by stressful emotions that you want to avoid,
and you might end up destructively reacting to them, take a moment to think what if your
best friend was experiencing the same thing? What would you have suggested they do
under these circumstances? Write your answers if you want to and try to think if you are
following the same steps for yourself!

5. Self-compassion

Setting aside some time for ourselves every day is a great way to build emotional
regulation skills. Reminding ourselves of our talents and virtues, and letting our minds
land on a flexible space can immensely change the way we feel and react to our
emotions.

Some simple self-compassion hacks involve:

 Daily positive self-affirmations

 Relaxation and breath control
 Compassion meditation
 Regular self-care
 Gratitude journaling

6. Emotional support

Psychologists believe that we all have the innate capacity to build a robust emotional
repertoire and save our mental energy from getting invested in negativity. We can seek
emotional support within ourselves by practicing mindful self-awareness or can seek
help outside by engaging in positive communication with others.
It is okay to see a therapist or professional when our inner coping fails; the sole focus is
to create a positive emotional shield that can channelize our emotions to bring out the
best in us.

Science-Based Emotion Regulation Strategies

Literary resources on emotional regulation have provided a myriad of solutions for
emotional dysregulation. While all the self-regulation strategies are undoubtedly useful
and practical, the problem arises when we have to choose the best plan for us (Gross,
2015; Ochsner, Silvers, & Buhle, 2012).

Most scientific research on emotional regulation focus on either a particular age group
that could benefit from the strategy, or a specific situation in which it works the best
(Webb, Miles, & Sheeran, 2012). Little is said about the scientific methods that we could
use for taming our feelings at all times.

Recent studies, however, have shed some light in this regard. Researchers nowadays
agree that emotion regulation should not be constrained to a time frame or a group of
individuals under a specific circumstance, and have proposed a few scientific strategies
that could guide us at all times (Aldao, 2013; Gross, 2015).

1. Reappraisal

Reappraisal or cognitive reappraisal ensures long-term wellbeing and offers a

permanent solution to emotional distress. Through re-evaluation, we do not aim to
suppress or eliminate the negative emotions that cause pain forcefully, instead, we look
for better ways of dealing with it (Davis, Senghas, Brandt, & Ochsner, 2010).

In addition to finding appropriate and positive substitutes of the problems, cognitive

reappraisal also shifts our focus from the distress and reduces the impact of the
negative emotion for a while (Troy, Shallcross, & Mauss, 2013).

2. Self-soothing
Self-soothing, in any form, can reduce the toxic effects of anger, sadness, and agony
that negative experiences bring (Heiy & Cheavens, 2014). Scientists believe that self-
soothing, as opposed to self-confrontation, guarantees better and quicker answers
when it comes to managing thoughts and emotions.

We can practice several variations of self-soothing exercises, including:

 Self-compassion and loving-kindness meditation.

 Music meditation, where we set aside some minutes to listen to music and
unwind ourselves with the relaxing sound.
 Reminiscence therapy, which works great for resolving emotional conflicts
involving other people. The practice involves merely sitting and trying to recollect
all the good memories we have once had with the person we are now struggling
with.
 Breathing exercises, including breath control, breath counting, and simple breath
relaxation.
 Simple self-care such as a hot bath, a relaxing massage, cooking for yourself,
etc.

3. Attentional control

Attentional control starts with reappraisal. It aims to divert our attention away from the
negative emotion and allows us to look at it from a rewarding perspective.

For example, we can overpower the irresistible anger and shame that follows an insult
or abuse from someone, by thinking of it as a lesson that taught you to avoid building
connections with rude people.

By focusing more on what you learned from the conflict, you not only save yourself from
the severe stress and agony, but you also gain a perspective of how you can avoid such
interpersonal disputes later. As a result, you are successful in modulating your
responses to the negative encounter and restoring your mental peace altogether (Gross
& John, 2003).

What is Emotional Regulation Disorder?

As the name indicates, emotional regulation disorder is a condition of impaired or
dysfunctional ability to regulate and manage emotions optimally. Emotional
Dysregulation (ED) is a term mental health specialists use for emotional responses that
are weakly managed and deviate from the accepted range of positive reactions.

The emotional regulation disorder is often manifested by symptoms such as:

 Sudden and unexplained anger outbursts that get displaced to someone who did
not cause any harm. May include passive-aggressive patterns of behavior.
 Somatoform symptoms such as chronic pain and illness not caused by any
medical condition and remain unexplained by medical professionals.
 Self-destruction or self-harming behavior, including extreme thoughts of suicide.
 Difficulty in building and maintaining healthy social relationships in personal and
professional fields.
 Attentional dysregulation, including the inability to focus on meaningful work
because the mind is too occupied with negative thoughts and emotions.
 Hypersensitivity and poor self-control.

The worst part of Emotion Regulation Disorder is that it mostly comes in association
with other mental health issues such as depression, stress, or extreme mood polarities,
and therefore, management requires an overall intervention plan for addressing all the
associated problems.

The most common intervention psychologists use for managing EDD is Dialectical
Behavior Therapy (DBT), in combination with some cognitive strategies and emotional
support adjuncts.

The prognosis of Emotional Regulation Disorder is relatively good, considering the

number of practical interventions that we could use. The best results are, however, seen
when the person chooses to take charge of it soon and participates in a long-term
treatment plan.

5 Tips for Fostering Emotional Regulation in Children

Emotional regulation is an absolute necessity for academic, social, and moral
development in children. Parents often find it overwhelming to find the right way to teach
emotional regulation to their children and help them deal with the inevitable stressors of
everyday life.

Emotional perception and management are never the same for two people, which is
why successfully training someone to regulate their emotions can be a difficult task.
However, psychologists over the years have come up with some great solutions to this
problem.

Here are some hacks that parents and carers can use to cultivate emotional regulation
in youngsters (Toub, Rajan, Golinkoff, & Hirsh-Pasek, 2016).

1. Model the right behavior

Children learn best through observation. Showing them what to do rather than verbally
directing is sure to generate better results. For example, a child grows up with parents
who treat each other with respect and resolve their conflicts without being abusive, will
learn to be more emotionally balanced and resilient than a child who grows up with
aggressive and abusive parents.

It is essential to show children that positivity is the ‘only’ way to deal with stressors, and
the best way to do it is by practicing the same ourselves.

2. Delay response time

Encourage the child not to give immediate reactions. Whenever the kid gets angry or is
sad, ask them to hold back for a while and react after that. The delay in response time
allows the fight-or-flight response to settle down, and in all probability, the child would
respond less intensely than they would otherwise have.

3. Work on the child’s emotional vocabulary

Self-expression works great for emotional regulation in children. Often, a child
experiences something that they are unable to explain, and the frustration that follows
leads to an unpleasant reaction that is not acceptable.

A useful strategy is to create a chart with all the emotions named in it, with examples or
face illustrations of how the particular passion makes us feel. Being able to call the
feelings they are experiencing makes a child more vigilant and aware of their innermost
feelings, and reduces the chances of emotional outbursts.

4. Teach them about actions and consequences

When a child is aware of what their actions might bring to them, they will likely choose
their steps carefully. Whether in the classroom or at home, we can engage in
meaningful conversations with kids about what is an action and what could be its
consequences. For example, teachers and parents could make a chart and list some
activities with their potential impacts and ask the child to decide which actions they
would choose.

5. Let them detect stress

The goal of fostering emotional regulation in children is to make them self-dependent as

a person in the future. There are particular situations, people, or events that create
stress in children, for example, going to school away from parents, getting scolded by
teachers, or someone taking away their favorite toy.

If we could devote some time to help them identify the little things that bring unpleasant
feelings in them, it can go a long way in making them aware of their stressors and
provide them the strength to deal with their emotions effectively as they grow up.

What is DBT and How Does it Relate?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a cognitive and behavior-oriented psychotherapy
that relies on active communication to address mental health issues. DBT is especially
useful for treating personality disorders like BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)
where individuals lose track of their emotional control mechanisms.
The core principle of DBT is that the arousal levels in different stressful encounters vary
from person to person. For example, the way an adolescent would react to their parent’s
death would be different from how a 50-year-old person would respond to parental loss,
and needless to mention, the consequences of these reactions would hugely differ too
(Kleindienst et al., 2011).

Again, a person who is timid and shy would react differently to any abuse from an
extravert and friendly person. By considering these individual differences, DBT makes
the interventions precise and person-centered.

In its pure form, DBT is:

 Supportive – in the way it helps individuals understand and manage their

emotional experiences and reactions.
 Cognitive – because it emphasizes thoughts and acknowledges the fact that our
emotions arise from the way we think and interpret the contemplations.
 Mutual – as it requires equal amounts of attention and effort from the client and
the therapist. Much like CBT interventions, DBT also relies on collaborative
exercises, activities, and homework that help in assessing progress.

The reason why DBT is suitable for dealing with emotional regulation disorder is that it
lets individuals learn, acknowledge, and change their faulty thought patterns themselves
(Siever & Davis, 1991). DBT doesn’t coerce solutions or rush to diagnosis; it operates
on the belief that unless we can internalize the positive emotions and learn to use them
ourselves, no therapy can be good enough to make us happier.

DBT skills for emotional management includes:

 Learning and identification of negative and positive emotions.

 Labeling and naming emotions.
 Reducing emotional vulnerability and hypersensitivity.
 Gaining awareness about how we are feeling at the present moment.
 Understanding desirable actions and implementing them in real life situations.
  Enhancing stress management and coping techniques (Bohus et al., 2004;
Linehan, Armstrong, Suarez, Allmon, & Heard, 1991).

4 Emotional Regulation Activities & Exercises

Below are four exercises that can be practiced by anyone. Breathing regulation
exercises are useful in a variety of settings, and just being mindful of emotions in
general can benefit any person.

1. Breathing exercises for emotional regulation

Three main breathing exercises help in modulating emotions:

 Breath Counting – Where we sit calmly for a few seconds and slowly start
counting. For example, you can count 5 to inhale and 7 to exhale. The goal of
this exercise is to focus on our breathing and follow the counting as we inhale
and exhale.
 Breath Shifting – Here we place one hand on our chest and the other hand on
our abdomen and notice how they rise and fall with each inhales and exhales. By
doing so, we aim to see the difference between the chest and belly movement
during breathing, and it helps in regaining focus into our bodies.
 Breath Relaxation – Breath relaxation is the most basic breathing exercise and
practically works well for any stress, anxiety, or emotional disorder. The practice
is to sit back and take deep breaths with eyes closed, and continue doing so until
we can feel the connection between our mind and body, and realize the stress
and negativity are fading away with the deep breaths.

2. Exercise for emotional catharsis

The most significant problem of emotional dysregulation disorder is the inability to let go
of emotions. Even after realizing the inappropriateness of irrational thoughts, they find it
hard to eliminate them from the mind (Singer et al., 2012). Through emotional catharsis,
which is a way of venting out the suppressed emotions, we can achieve the mental
balance that we often seek.

The practice is simple and involves five easy steps:

  Observing emotions as they are, without trying to change them at the first
instance.
 Trying to evaluate the experience and feelings that come with a particular
emotion.
 Acknowledging the fact that we are not our emotions. For example, if we are
feeling sad, it doesn’t have to mean that we are depressed individuals. Emotions
are just a state of mind; they come and go.
 Naming the emotions aloud or writing them the way you feel it.
 Talking about them to a friend, family, or therapist, without being afraid of
judgment.

3. Mindfulness for emotions

We know that mindfulness is the art of living in the present moment. Practicing
mindfulness helps us gaining awareness of our mind, body, and feelings. It builds a
secure connection to the present and allows us to look at our thoughts and feelings from
an objective and neutral perspective.

There are two types of mindfulness exercises that help in emotional regulation:

 The ‘Acknowledgment’ Exercises – including careful observation, naming

thoughts, and labeling emotions.
 The ‘Implementation’ Exercises – including practices of thinking non-
judgmentally, active and empathetic listening, effective communication, and self-
expression.

4. Self-awareness techniques

Self-awareness, for the most of it, is a counterpart of mindfulness and is tied in with
recognizing one’s own emotions and the ways they affect us.

A great way to manage unhealthy emotions through self-awareness is the thought

naming exercise, where we make a list of all the thoughts that are dominating our mind
this very moment, the people or circumstances that we think may be causing them, and
name the emotions in one or two words.
Useful Therapy Modalities
Which therapy modalities are particularly useful for emotion regulation?

1. Emotional Regulation Therapy (ERT)

Emotion Regulation Therapy is a person-centered approach to dealing with affective

regulation. It uses parts of CBT, DBT, Mindfulness, and other humanistic approaches to
achieve the following goals:

 Helping individuals identify, acknowledge, and describe their emotions.

 Allowing unconditional self-acceptance that ultimately results in emotional
regulation.
 Preventing them from avoiding feelings and choosing actions that impact on their
wellbeing.
 Helping them learn better decision-making, constructive critical thinking, and
problem-solving skills.

ERT interventions operate on a four-dimensional model, as shown below. Studies have

proved that administering ERT strategies to patients increase their chances of recovery
from disorders such as GAD, PTSD, and severe depression (Fresco, Mennin,
Heimberg, & Ritter, 2013).

2. Cognitive Therapy

Cognitive Therapy interventions used in emotional regulation include:

 Cognitive Distraction – which is an antecedent-focused strategy involving a

careful shift of attention from the negative emotion to something pleasant (Gross,
1998). It is a practical approach where clients get positive stimuli from therapists
or coaches to focus on when they feel low. Slowly, the individuals get conditioned
to shift their attention the moment they catch themselves indulging in toxic
emotions (Nolen-Hoeksema, Wisco, & Lyubomirsky, 2008; Sheppes, Scheibe,
Suri, & Gross, 2011).
  Cognitive Reappraisal – As we discussed before, cognitive reappraisal is an
intervention whose goal is to help us acknowledge the negative emotions at first,
and then slowly replace it with other positive emotions that are less provoking.
 Cognitive Labeling – Labeling is a neuro-linguistic process of identifying
emotions as they arise. Studies have shown that when we can recognize and
literally ‘name’ our feelings and have a complete awareness of the emotional
boundaries, there is decreased activity in the amygdala, a part of the brain that
regulates emotions (Hariri, Bookheimer, & Mazziotta, 2000; Lieberman et al.,
2007).

3. MBCT (Group Therapy)

MBCT or Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy reduces the chances of relapse in

people with emotional regulation disorders. It has proven benefits in treating
cardiovascular conditions, hormonal deficits, and hypertension that comes with
emotional imbalance.

MBCT is usually conducted in group settings, which makes it a preferred option for
many people. The process mainly entails in forming a positive relationship with our
innermost feelings.

For example, when someone is at the verge of relapsing depression, MBCT teaches
them how they can overcome the blues by not trying to change themselves. Through
mindfulness and meditation, MBCT reforms the way we feel about ourselves.

Conclusion
The way we interpret our emotions determine the way we react to it. Emotional
regulation does not mean being happy all the time; neither does it guarantee to shield
us from pain. With emotional management, we gain the ability to accept our feelings
and overpower them.

Emotional regulation is all about moving on and not letting temporary setbacks stop us
from reaching our goals. It is tied in with values, expressions, self-compassion,
gratitude, and rational thinking, which accounts for the inner peace that emotion
regulation brings with it. And as the saying goes, “Feelings are visitors, we should let
them come and go.”

Bibliography

 https://www.betterup.com/blog/emotional-regulation-skills
 https://in.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/secondary-data-in-
research-methodology