Spouses in Tent of Happiness

First edition
Spouses
in tent of happiness
77 skills and means
Abdulrahman bin Abdullah Al-Qarawi

Spouses in tent of happiness - 77 skills and means
Abdulrahman bin Abdullah bin Saleh Al-Qarawi
ISBN
4 Spouses in tent of happines

Spouses in tent of happines
IN THE NAME OF ALLAH

THE MOST PASIONATE THE
MOST MERCIFUL
About the Author
A family consultant in the Development Association

Family (family).
Consultant and trainer in family dialogue, certified

From the King Abdulaziz Center for National Dialogue.
A member in the Social Protection Committee at

Al- Qassim district.
A trainer for youth who are about to get married, in

cooperation with a number of Family Development
Associations.
A guest and participant in a number of TV episodes in

relevant to family issues.
One of the participants in the workshop organized

by the Ministry of Social Affairs for developing the
training package for those about to get married.
A writer of dozens articles on family issues.
Obtained an international training license from the

Academy International Training and Development
(INTRAC)

Introduction to
the edition 4
I am surprised of passing nine years since the publication of the

third edition. During that period, I have received, from time to time,
calls or contacted by friends, and others, asking about the points of
book’s sales. “copies were completely sold and I will reprint copies
again soon”, I have apologized.
After a long time, by Allah willing, one of the specialists contacted
me, insistently, on importance of publishing the book online and be
translated into more than one language. I think his enthusiasm and
motivation, may be was a result of his motive of love. In spite of this,
I decided to take this matter into my consideration to be dealt with
as a real fact, to motivate myself for making and keeping promise of
the fourth edition.
However, I decided to reread and review the book before reprinting.
Meanwhile, I enriched the book with further topics and conducted
the required amendments as well. The book became different from
the previous second and third as both editions were only revised
linguistically and spelling revision.
When I asked the designer to make these amendments, he insisted
to redesign the book, in a new way. I agreed his view because of my
trust in his concern and creativity.
If you have gone through the previous editions of this book, I am
grateful to you, appreciate your trust and kindness to reading that
edition, wishing you to be pleased by these amendments you will
notice in the edition 4. Regarding the new readers of this edition, I am
so pleased to get their trust, and I am optimistic that additions and
amendments will be as beautiful as beauty of their souls. I promise
them that this book will not be missed at all, but rather they will
remember it as long as someone suggests a suitable book for spouses
recently married, or for those who spent years in their marital life. It
does not mean that this a magic book, but rather because it relied on
what is possible to be achieved, so there is no magic or superstations
with this book as it has adopted what is real and neutral. This book is
not to be partial to one spouse in account of another.
I still cheer, praise to Allah, the Almighty, for this unique acceptance
given to this book since its first edition, hoping this edition to be
a pleasant addition, a way of happiness, a place of trust, and a
protection for anyone whom actually honored me by reading this
book.
Commending The Book
Marital life is a status of a complete harmony of organic and psychological

integration between spouses. This status is considered the ideal of
relationship between the married spouses and a higher level than the
level of affection and companionship, as it deemed a great rank leading to
m at r i m ony.
The existence of a mission, vision, plan, knowledge, and style is considered
the right path of marital life, in which a husband, based on that, should
consider, after relying on Allah.
Then, the family’s entity begins with expanding the circle of homogeneity
and acquaintance along with narrowing the gap of discrepancy and discord.
All this should be done with love, courtship and beauty of dealing. Therefore,
matrimonial cohesion can’t not be firmly established and actually existed
unless done through a wise, a sobriety and a companion.
This book, which is in our hands, belongs to an expert of husbands›
conditions closely and based books. This expert is specialist with well-known
of marriage provisions for those who have consulted and requested, and
advice-giver in field of guidance and reform for those who have suffered
and get tired.
In this book, I liked the horizon broad, the diversity of knowledge spectrums,
and the exploration of marital life corners. It is a guide and set a roadmap
for those who want to build their marriage on realistic scientific principles.
I seek from Allah a great rewarded for the writer, the generous benefit for
the readers, the good beginnings, the wise journey, the apple eye and
bestowed for married people.
Dr. Ibrahim Mohammed Al-Khulaifi
Family Education Consultant and the

psychology of educational development.

When we talk about family aspects, it should not be an imperative or

obligated matter to someone who does not realize the dimensions of
what is written, but it must come up from a perceptive of family affairs
in terms of {the Most Merciful, so ask about Him one well informed}.
It also needs more detail in terms of {And everything We have set out
in detail}, not from a general perspective in terms of ((44) {We said],
«And take in your hand a bunch [of grass] and strike with it and do not
break your oath}. From this point of view, our respected brother, Abd
al-Rahman bin Abdullah al-Qarawi, has devised this concept and added
to the library a book that all spouses should have. I say this because I
read it as a request from its author for purpose of further addition, but I
found further additions, good information and indications were added
to my knowledge. Allah may grant the author for his endeavor, and
grant us the faithfulness, in words and deeds.
Khalid Bin Ibrahim Al-Saqa’aby

Family trainer and consultant, and the supervisor of the
Sakan Center for Educational Consulting
I was so happy to read your valuable book (The Couple in the Tent of
Happiness), and I found myself in it through its quiet concepts. Actually,
I wish this book could be published on the largest scale to reach every
man and woman got married or will get married. Through reading this
book, spouses can protect themselves from devil, isolation causes,
psych-disorders and marital life’s worries. Surely, they will find in this
book the causes of such annoyances in order to discover that what is
between them was not as personal causes, but because of ignorance the
fact, or lack of understanding the principles of communication between
them. Rather, they will find in this book what builds the relationship
between them easily and smoothly, without complication, reaching the
greatest happiness they seek.
Dr.Khalid bin Saud Al-Halabi
Family trainer and consultant, director of the family development center,

and general supervisor of the House of Expertise Center for
Social Studies and Researches in Al-Ahsa
(spouses in tent of happiness) is a delicious meal that combines

availability of temptation elements and the complement of the healthy
nutrition elements for marital life; and what increases its beauty is the
ease of digestion.
Dr. Abdulaziz bin Abdullah Al-Muqbil
Family trainer and consultant, and supervisor of the Sanabel Center
for Educational Consulting
This book, prepared by Mr. Abdul Rahman Al-Qaraawi, included many
skills and directions that strengthen the positive emotions and feelings
between spouses, giving them the comfort of body and heart, stability
in life and livelihood, amiability of soul and repose of heart.
Prof. Ali bin Ibrahim Al-Zahrani
The consultant of educational and family at the Charitable Association

for Marriage and Family Welfare in Madinah district.
When you read this book, you will find a mixture of usefulness and
seriousness of thought with a beautiful eloquent language, along with
a rhetoric elevates the reader›s understanding to broad dimensions to
push him to adoption and benefit. The author has come up with an
integrated package of useful ideas. May Allah grant readers and the
writer and who assisted him.
Dr. Omar bin Ibrahim Al-Mudhayfer
Consultant of Psych-pediatric & adolescent and Family treatment
This book, which was written by Mr. Abdul Rahman bin Abdullah
Al-Qarawi, in beautiful style, graceful phrases and simplified meanings;
far from extremism and rant, understood by layman, benefited by
educated and familiar by author, drawing beautiful and interesting
steps toward a happy marital life which seeks loyalty and harmony;
comfort and happiness. Not everyone seeks happiness can have its own
path, but this book can help and walks, step by step, with its reader on
path of marital happiness. I seek and pray to Allah, Almighty, with His
grateful names to grant this book’s writer and reader.
Dr.Yahya bin Ibrahim Al Yahya
The general supervisor of Al- Morabi center for learning and educational
consultations, and the supervisor of Taiba website.

spouses in tent of happiness
About
the book
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and peace and prayers be upon
our Prophet Muhammad, the master of the universe, and upon his
family and companions. It is known that marriage is a dream of every
young man and girl, and if this met, then their hope is to reach the
marital happiness. So, the basic principle in every single home is to be
built within two pillars, affection and mercy. Meanwhile, you get upset
when you see a home was missed something of these two pillars or one
of them, and you wish that happiness could be bought, so that you can
buy it with what you possess. But every one of us possesses nothing,
just looking for the happiness causes to come with to be obtained
first, then his brothers and sisters, in terms of Hadith (None of you is
a believer unless he wishes to his brother what he washes to himself).
I thought, as many people think, that talking about many homes that
suffer the lack of affection and compassion is an exaggeration, but I
was surprised by some studies showed a high rates of divorce. This
rate is actually dreadful. I have also seen cases of failure and tension in
the marital relationship, which might be easy to be fixed in availability
of awareness and family reforms. What hurts me, is seeing everyone’s
keenness on making marriage party succeed in a time you find neglect
of many to prepare marriage (itself) by learning, reading and training.
Some of them spend days in choosing home furnishings, clothes and
accessories, meanwhile, they get bored of reading a book or attending
a training course for those about to get married. There is no doubt that
mastering and improving the marital relationship and developing it has
become a difficult, but I am sure that it is a temporary hardship reduced
gradually. Unlike the hardship of neglect and lack of relationship care,
it grows by time, continues, and affects children later. Therefore, I was
keen to contribute to explaining some of the literature on marital life,
so this book, as words were inspired by reality, was as far as possible
from the impossible idealism. I pray to Allah to make this book a factor
of achieving the desired affection and mercy for every husband and
wife, for which Allah is grateful to his servants by saying: {And of His
signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find
tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.
Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought} (2). Thanks
and appreciation to everyone participated in this book, and Allah may
reward them.
Why
a tent?
Many people believe that happiness can only be obtained by those
who have a luxurious life with lofty palaces, but I think that ordinary
people are the happiest. Therefore, and for another matter which is
optimism in the tents of paradise, where the pure eternal happiness, I
have chosen this title:
«Spouses in tent of happiness»

The Author
No happiness for those after marriage
When a young man or a girl lives before marriage in a dream

of pure happiness, free of everything makes troubles, this
considered one of the biggest causes of happiness deprivation.
Therefore, everyone who is about to get married, should
realize that it is normal for some reasonably disagreement to
occur between spouses. Disagreement was occurred in houses
of our Prophet Muhammad, may Allah bless him and grant him
peace. So he was sometimes angry of his wives and abandoned
them for a month (3); among them Aisha who was the beloved
one to Prophet Mohammed, peace and prayers be upon him.
Even sociologists say that a house completely free of disputes
is a house with problems!! Because it has no soul or interaction.
Some of them said disagreement is the salt of marital
relationship, so its absence loses the flavor of marital life, but
when it becomes much more, the marital life would be spoiled.
The mental image embedded in minds before marriage that
life will be ideal and paradisiac should remove to be replaced
by striving against exacerbating problems and try to fix them,
avoiding the slightest of them.
Thus, we have concluded that there is no happiness after
marriage for those who dream of pure happiness.
After we agreed on aformentioned, you (spouses) and I,
through this message, will strive to achieve the highest levels
of possible happiness. So we seek the help of Allah. Let’s start
together…

Marriage cannot be a paradise unless

supported by your hands, nor be a
hell unless caused by your own….
you have the choice in how you want
your marriage to be... bliss or hell.
Prof. Muhammad bin Rashid Al-Owaid
Between rights and duties
A while ago, I presented a lecture in which its title was
determined by the organizer (the rights of couple). When the
lecture began, I said: “If the topic was chosen by me, I would
have named it: the duties of spouses,” aiming to motivate
spouses to attend to know their duties, not their rights.
If spouses’ duties met, the relationship would be fine, but the
problem is that each spouse looks for his /her rights to be met.
Doing your duties, motivates your spouse to do his/her duties
in return. This matter is the best way to obtain the rights.
Neither of you (spouses) will be able to achieve marital
happiness at expense of the other. Marital happiness cannot be
achieved by one spouse without the other. It is not possible to
get rights with no duties, and whoever breaches duties never
gets full rights.
Happiness diminishes when both spouses have viewed
married life as rights only, but when they view it as duties as
well, happiness shall be met as they have taken a short path for
achieving happiness.
The marital relationship based only on truth and duty is just a
dry relationship as this life lacks of splendor and water, so where
is the charity…? Where is the mercy…?where is the forgiveness
and condescension?...!
When a spouse gives the rights of the other, he benefits
himself before the one to whom the rights were presented,
protects himself from the punishment of negligence, and be
granted by the Lord of the worlds.
Whoever (spouses) wants happiness, should take the initiative,
not awaits to be done by the other, because Satan inspires to
a spouse that he is ready and willing to fix the problem, but
the other spouse does not want reforms, so Satan repels him
to have the initiative. Thus Satan achieved his wish which is
disperse between spouses.
And whoever wants to maintain this relationship, does not
rush the results, because medicines vary in their effects, and
some medicines need to endure bitterness and patience while
waiting treatment.

«They (spouses) should get

knowledge through books; and
closely what are the rights and
duties of marital life.
Today, our kids get this concept

from the Gulf, Arab and Turkish
series and episodes.
Imagine!!!!!!!»
Dr. Ibrahim Al-Khalifi

A man and a woman
A man should deal with a woman as a woman and a woman should
deal with a man as a man, taking into account the differences and
psychological- physical needs of gender.
Many problems have arisen because of neglecting this matter. The
wife should treat her husband as she treats one of her friends, and the
husband should treat her as if he is with one of his companions.
So the husband should accept his wife to behave as a woman,
appreciating her nature and concerns, and likewise the wife should
accept her husband to behave as a man who likes and loves what men
like and love.
The priorities of needs, for each, are different, which may cause a
mistake in dealing, definitely, when a spouse needs what the other
needs, in same order and priorities.
Therefore, and due to speech on this topic may take long time, as
it is of a high degree of importance, I refer readers to some books
specialized in this matter, namely:
1) Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus by Dr. John Gray,
Arabic translation - Jarir Bookstore.
2) His needs and hers: Yard F. Harley, the son, Arabic translation - Jarir
Bookstore.
3) For women only: Dr. Shunty Field Han, Arabic translation - Jarir
Bookstore.
4) For men only: Dr. Shunty and Geoff Field Hahn, Arabic translation
from the Jarir Bookstore edition.
(5) The man and the woman….secrets not yet published, by: Ellen
Wheeler, Arabic translation, issued by the Butterfly House Company.
For the audio versions:
(1) Understanding Psychology, by Dr. Jassim Al-Mutawa, two tapes,
issued by Dar Al-Balagh, Jeddah.
(2) The Keys of Successful Marital Relationships, by Dr. Yasser bin
Abdul Aziz Qari, three tapes, issued by Hanin tape-recordings in
Makkah.

(And the male is not like the female)
Al-Imran Verse (36)

Frankness between spouses
Disputes and problems’ occurrence between spouses is
a natural matter that might be necessitated by frequent
domesticity and relying on one spouse in many matters of
life. However, the matter which should be prevailing between
spouses is the frankness based in rules and appropriate times.
Therefore, there is a prior preparation between spouses in
accordance with principle of Frankness.
If it is known that moderate frankness will remove the heartfelt

affection, troubles of souls, avoid blame, and tighten the bonds
of marital relationship, the souls are prepared to accept that,
but rather happy with that and take it as a ladder through which
it rises in elevations of happiness and contentment.
Frankness should be represented by politeness and love

with no rudeness, in order to relieve its bitterness towards
its recipients. By beautiful words, appreciation grows, love
increases, and the situation improved.
The more spontaneous these words, the more eloquent and

enjoyable to the soul.

«The best thing for marital life is the

simplicity in dialogue and frankness.
This may become one of the most
difficult things in marital life and might
be replaced by ambiguity and cover-up
due to bad conscience or fear of facing.»
Dr. Ibrahim Al-Khulaifi

Another type of message
On authority of Abu Hurayra narrated that the Prophet,
may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Give gifts
and you will love one another.”
The gift has a meaning that exceeds its value as it is
considered a message of love between spouses and
evidence of loyalty given by the sender. It can be given
in many occasions, including, Eids, birth, success, career
promotion, coming from a trip, after a problem been solved,
after recovery from an illness, and when marital relationship
passes in shortness and troubles.
What a beautiful gift when it presented unexpectedly with
no occasion, but only for love and loyalty!!!.
If the woman lacks of money, she can ask her husband for
some, then surprise him with a gift.
Among the most beautiful gifts is when a spouse shares the
gift with children to be given to their mother or father.
There are ways to present a gift that increase its beauty and
make it memorable in soul.
The price of the gift is not the real of its material value, but
it is beautiful even if it is a small rose, as the most important
thing is its moral value and the positive impact it has showed
on soul of the spouse it was given to.
The gift conveys a message that I love you and never forget
you, nor leave you...
Ibrahim bin Al-Mahdi presented Isaaq al-Mawsili a sack
of salt and a sack of ushnan mutayyab (perfumed ash), and
wrote to him a latter at bottom of it, saying,
My gift is based in my concern ... and my concern is higher
than my money
the best gift what people like me give is …. Pure friendliness
and pure passion ...

If you have received a gift

and you were unable to give
in return, your happiness
and thankfulness for the
presenter is the gift to him.
Littmann
I did a mistake...forgive me!
Mistakes are possibly committed. None is infallible, as Allah’s
Messenger peace be upon him, said, “Every son of Adam sins,
and the best of the sinners are the repentant.” (7).
But the problem here is when one of spouses realizes that

he/she is wrong and insists on his/her mistake and refuses to
confess, because he/ she believed that confession before the
second spouse will allow to the second spouse to lay some of
dignity, and this is a fallacy that the evil adorns.
Dear spouses, Imagine...!! that someone did something

wrong against you, and then he confessed this mistake and
apologized, will anything remain in the soul of the person
who received that mistake or abuse?! I almost assured that his
status in the heart the person who received the mistake will be
better than it was before. How many mistakes have become the
causes of the beginning of a beautiful and strong relationship
between two persons, when the wrongdoer admitted his
mistake and apologized, meanwhile rightful owner forgives and
pardoned?!!!.
it was said that a relationship which comes after a problem

between spouses is stronger than any other relationship.
I would remind wives that some husbands are not good in

introducing their apology frankly, but they proposed apologies
as a service, for example spouse offers to go together
somewhere, or asks if you want a specific service I can do it for
you, so you should accept this apology from him.

Sorry!
Mistake occurred
twice if not confessed
The most beautify apology
On the authority of Abdullah bin Masoud that the Messenger
of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace He said: (The
repentant of sin is like a person who has no sin.) (8)
We demand the sinner to confess the mistake. We say to the

person who committed a mistake “it is worthy of you to forgive”,
especially if the sinner confessed his mistake. Confessing a
mistake is more than telling apology.
So, let’s accept apology with a nice smile and a good

expression that indicates overcoming the mistake and forget it,
and open a new white page. The forgiver will find amiability and
pleasure prior the person who made the mistake.
On the authority of Abu Hurairah, may Allah bless him, that the
Messenger of Allah, may Allah’s prayers and peace be upon him,
said: (Allah does not increase a servant with a pardon except as
attributed, and no one’s humility to Allah, but Allah raises him) (9).
Have you tested the effect of apology on yourself?
Someone tested an apology, he said, I was afraid that I would

not be granted by Allah in forgiving people; Because I actually
found a pleasure on my soul !!
Allah, the Almighty said: {and let them pardon and overlook.
Would you not like that Allah should forgive you?} (10).
The poet Mustafa Al-Ghalayini said: Forgive your friend; if slip

tongue, no one is infallible of mistake.
Forgive generously, so that you find impact returns to you.
Abu Hatim Al-Sabti says “Whoever confesses to the misstep

deserves to be forgiven.
Because that pardon for the misstep requires absorbing the

anger.

If you want to live happy even for a

while, then take revenge, and if you want
Permanent happiness, forgive everyone.
Taghor
Locks and Keys
Spouse should help and strive to achieve the things that
partner loves to achieve in life, and deals with him / her
a c c ord i ng ly.
Spouse, as well, strives to know what he/she hates, to avoid

and not harm him/her.
it is nice to tell each other what we like and dislike, such as

a method speech, physical movements and actions, clothes,
drinks, food, rest times, ..etc, so, these things can be returned
to while forgiving and get beloved by your spouse.
Especially since some problems occur as a result of an act of

spouse that is not forbidden and not conflict with respect rules
and manners, but it annoys the other spouse for some reasons,
and spouse who does it may dispense and leave it annoys the
other spouse.
One of the recently married, while travelling, left a piece of

paper to his wife and wrote what he likes and dislikes, saying
“ so in future you will not make something wrong I don’t like,
then you bother me with no feel.

«Compassion in marital life means looking at

your spouse desires.
Most of spouses' problems are due to lack of

sympathy».
Prof. Rashid Al-Sahl

Read Lines
Spouses, by virtue of their intimate relationship and the long
period they stay together, have secrets and privacy between
them, not disclosed to other people. So, they should keep
secrets and not disclose them, because revealing secrets by
any of them will cause lose trust, and if the trust lost between
spouses, this will result in destruction of marital life. The most
important thing that the spouses should beware of is revealing
secrets when they live in a problem or in dispute, so beware…!!
beware!!.
Among the marital secrets is the financial condition, whether

richness or poverty of husband, which he does not consent to
reveal to anyone,.
On the authority of Abu Hurairah, may Allah bless him, that

the Messenger of Allah, may Allah’s prayers and peace be upon
him, said: (Whoever conceals a Muslim, Allah will conceal him in
this life and the hereafter) (11.)
As long as this emphasizing is a demand, preserving what

happens between the spouses in bed is one of the most important
demands, as aforementioned earlier. On the authority of Abu
Saeed, may Allah bless him, that the Messenger of Allah, may
Allah’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: (The one of the
most evil people in Allah’s status, on the Day of Resurrection,
the man say secrets to his wife, and she does the same to him,
and then he disclose her secret and publish it among public).
In another narration (One of the greatest matter of faithfulness
to Allah, at the day of resurrection, is a man discloses secret to
his wife, and she does the same, and then disclose her secret
among the public (12).
Therefore, keep secrets even to parents, brothers and sisters,

and the closest friends to you, as disclosing secret could be a
cause of separation, or the corruption of the marital life.

While the woman was crying due to a quarrel

with her husband, suddenly, her relatives nocked
the door. They came just to visit her. Then they
asked her why she is crying..?!, what’s wrong?!
“I miss you.. and was thinking of you.., then
I wish I could see you, that’s why I am crying….”
“ Glory to Allah!! who gathered us!!” , the wife
replied. While her talking with her relatives,
her husband was listening. The husband was
surprised of her good behavior, despite her
crying because of the quarrel with him. What
a great woman?!!!. Since then the husband
has respected her and loved her as she kept
secrets of marital life. Accordingly, the husband,
generously, gently, with open handedness, has
welcomed the guest visitors. In addition, he
bought a nice gift for his wife as appreciation
of her great attitude before her visitor relatives.
G.Z
Kindness and selfishness
Some husbands and wives have memorized some Hadiths (said by
the Messenger of Allah, peace and prayers be upon him) and repeated
them frequently for purpose of guarantee his/her rights of life’s partner.
They are keen to know their benefits more than anything else. Actually,
such those people are selfish and only care of their interests, and
therefore, perhaps, one of them, whether the wife or husband, will not
find a place in the other partner’s heart.
O husband, the prophet Mohammed, peace and prayers be upon

him, said: (If I commanded something to prostrate to something, I
would have ordered the wife to prostrate to her husband, and by whom
my soul is in hand (the prophet swears), the woman does not fulfill the
rights of her Lord (Allah) until she fulfills the rights of her husband) ((13).
((14)) And he further said: (Act kindly towards women) (15).
O wife, the prophet Mohammed, peace and prayers be upon him,

said: (Best of You are best of their family) (16), And said: “Shall I not
inform you regarding best of your women (who will be) from the people
of Paradise (al-Jannah)?!! They are loving, child-bearing, those returning
to their husbands, those whom if they cause harm (to their husbands)
or are harmed (by their husbands) {and in another narration: ... if her
husband becomes angry} she comes (to him) until she holds the hand
of her husband then says: ‘By Allah, I will not taste sleep until you are
pleased’.” The Prophet Mohammed further said “If a woman offers her
five (daily prayers) and fasts her month and guards her private parts and
obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Paradise from whichever
of its gates you wish.” (18).
So each of the spouses should not ask for rights when he/she knows of
himself/herself being clearly negligent to the other spouse, so start spouse
should initiate to rehabilitate himself/ herself and do his duties first.
Moreover, spouse should not rebuke or deny the other spouse while
claiming rights. A few spouses fulfill all duties and responsibilities, and
in return, met by partner with negligence and denial!
The perfection in that is compliance with what was said by the Prophet
Mohammed, peace and prayers be upon him “Fulfill your pledge to the
first one, then the one who comes after him, and do the duties required
of you, for Allah will question them about the duties upon them.”

Fairness is prior to generousness,

necessities precede luxuries.
Shamfour
Share her …. And share him..
The husband has his own interests and worries, and the wife as well,
and perhaps one spouse’s interests mean nothing to the other, however
the husband and the wife break into this cycle and share worries
together and stand side by side, unless no hurt any of them.
Therefore, sharing worries and concern between spouses increase

our closeness to each other and make good feelings towards the other
spouse, and pursuit of what comfort and pleasure him/her.
Why you don’t share with her arranging some contents of the room,
and share her work?! You too, wife, It’s nice to share him his concerns and
help him in his work. For instance, if he is a teacher, you help him in copy
the exercises onto the computer instead of doing that by him, this is just
an examples, and so on…
Here you are these tremendous examples occurred in Prophet’s

house:
While divine inspiration period, at Hira cave, once, our Prophet

Muhammad, peace and prayers be upon him, went to Khadija (prophet
Mohammed’s wfie) and told her what happened to him in the cave, she
reassured him, and then
brought him to Waraqah ibn nofal, her uncle’s son, who was a
Christian at the pre-Islamic era, and then Khadija said to him: O cousin,
listen to your nephew, and Waraqa said to Prophet Mohammed: Oh,
my brother’s son, what do you see? ... the hadith (20).
Aisha, may be pleased by Allah, was asked: What was the Prophet,
peace and prayers be upon him, doing usually in his home? She replied:
He used to be in profession of his family, which means to serve his
family, and goes out for performing prayers (21).
Narrated Àisha: While in menses, I used to comb the hair of Allah’s

Messenger (23).
Khadija, may be pleased by Allah, shared the concerns of the prophet

Mohammed, peace and prayers be upon him when she brought him to
her cousin and as well, comb his hair. What tremendous examples!!! So
let’s have them as a light to illuminate our lives.

Brilliant share (between spouses) is one of

the greatest reasons for purifying the soul
from reprehensible selfishness, because it
makes its owner feels of forgiveness, love,
bestowal, sacrifice as this considered a
religious requirement as well. The elegant
share contributes effectively in alleviating
bilateral tensions between spouses, enables
both parties to overtake many mistakes, and
forgive more lapses.
Noureddine Qutit.
Relatives are the closet to you
The importance of spouses’ relationship with their families is
clearer matter than to be noticed or urged, beside that Sharia
has mentioned it. So, the Muslim should be a helper to people,
otherwise he is considered a sinner if he calls for otherwise.
What also concerns the wife and the husband is their relatives
concern. So, when the husband feels that his wife respects his
relatives, cares of them, keens to visit them and to be close
to them, it indicates, indirectly, that wife loves and respects
the husband, and this actually strengthens the relationship
between spouses.
Meanwhile, it is not good when spouses do not care or not

keeping in touch with each other’s relatives.
The worse when the husband breaks his relationship with his
wife’s family or be in quarrel with them, and the same in regard
to the wife as speech addressed both spouses.
All what aforementioned spoils the relationship between the

spouses and disperse their hearts. Even if the husband satisfies
abusing his wife to his family, or the wife satisfies abusing her
husband to her family, this will surly breaks the relationship
between the spouses, because who satisfies abuse to spouse’s
family will absolutely offend people around.
O wife, be more generously with your husband’s family, and

surprise him with some simple gifts for his mother and sisters…
and you too, husband, do the same for her family.
O husband, let your wife hears from you about her family what
makes her happy and let her knows that praising her family
is a part of praising her. And you, wife,… do the same with
husband…
Whoever makes this, will find a good effect in return.

Misbehaviors with the

husband or wife's relatives:
L ack of communication
with them
Lack of counseling them
They are the last to know
Dealing with them officially
Living with them for a long time.
Joys and Sorrows
Each spouses go through moments and days of joy and
amiability; moments of sadness and pain. And the spouse who
is happy waits to be congratulated and the sad spouse needs
to be consoled. Therefore, the husband and/or the wife are the
first to be expected to sharing Joys or Sorrows, which clearly
indicates to loyalty and sincerity of love. Meanwhile, ignoring
this matter, leads to bad consequences, such as break-up of
hearts, and collapse of emotions.
One important thing to be considered is that something could

happen to one of spouses in which he/she thinks that it is a good
tiding and happiness, or misfortune and tragedy, in a time that
the other spouse is not convinced of this situation. For instance,
a wife cries because of words she heard from one of her mates
and considered this as abuse to her, while the husband believes
that this matter is not worth crying. In this case, the husband,
reasonably, should share his wife feelings, seeking for a solution
for the problem with no exaggerating it, because sharing her
feelings is assistance for her to overcoming this matter.
Thus, ignoring the joy or sadness of one spouse is something

should not be done by any of spouses as both of them represent
one heart.
The half heart (one spouse) never brings sadness or happiness

without sharing that with the other half heart (the other spouse)
or even ignores it.

We tolerant most of our misfortunes

more than endure comments of
friends.
Colton
On Eid occasion, …where are you?
The days of Eid are of happiness, finery, congratulations
and visits. These days are an opportunity for purity of hearts,
harmony and reforms, and this is what is supposed to be among
all people; between spouses, but it is strange that you see some
spouses who have not met on Eid for years.. what a tragedy is
this?!!
Among spouses, while Eid period, are traveling inside or

outside the country, not for any purpose, except that he went
to spend a happy holiday!!. and left their wives at homes. so
their wives may go with their families somewhere to enjoy
with, but even if wife goes with her relatives to finds happiness,
happiness with her husband is much better. Meanwhile, some
husbands have spent Eid days with wives, whether inside or
outside the country.
Likewise, some wives who have preferred to spend Eid holiday

with their families, enjoy with them, and their husbands or even
their families haven’t the same happiness and joys.
It is nice for you, spouses to spend more time with each other
on Eid days, and keep in touch with your relatives at Eid days

On the Eid occasion, how wonderful

a piece of candy when it presented
by one of you to another.
Get a life and happiness
What brings happiness and harmonizes spouses’ hearts is their
commitments to Islamic rules and their keenness to perform
the Nawafil of worship, the prayer on time, the man’s prayer
with congregation is obligatory, the Rawatib, Witr prayer, Duha
prayer, and it is desirable for them not to forget some of the
dhikr and supplications mentioned by the Messenger of Allah,
peace and prayers be upon him, including, but not limited to
morning and evening supplications, sleep dhikr, supplication
for entering and leaving house, supplication for entering toilet
, assembly atonement, supplications of intercourse with wife,
supplications of food, as well as supplication for wearing new
clothes ... etc, And I wish each of them would raise-up voice to
remember and learn the other.
Allah, the Almighty says{ Whoever does righteousness,

whether male or female, while he is a believer – We will surely
cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their
reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they
used to do}.
Abu Musa Al-Ash’ari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
The Prophet (‫ )ﷺ‬said, “The similitude of one who remembers

his Rubb and one who does not remember Him, is like that of
the living and the dead.”
Likewise, spouses should avoid the forbidden things and

abandon sins as they bring misery and unhappiness. Our Lord,
Almighty said: {And whoever turns away from My remembrance
– indeed, he will have a depressed [i.e., difficult] life, and We will
gather [i.e., raise] him on the Day of Resurrection blind}.
One of the Companions says: when I disobey Allah, I find that

effect on my animal and my wife!!
Oh Allah, give us a good life, gather us with people of Taqwa.

If you strive for happiness, stand up,

obtain what you want and become
the first of winners.
(Safi Al-Din Al-Hilli)
Trivialities can›t make a victory
Adults can’t be hindered by small obstacles, and likewise
spouses should be in their marital life. If they do not condone
and ignore the small mistakes, reproach and accountability
will eliminate the beauty of their marital life, reaching to a
courtroom overcrowded with cases, which take place in waiting
line, and trial will not end except by divorce, or death.
In same regard, if the rule they follow is negligence and

tolerance, then they will find happiness and comfort, otherwise
they will be tired of seeking the impossible. Accordingly, Bashar
said:
If a person continues to blame his friend for small and big

things, then he will live alone without a friend. Either live and
take the bitterness of loneliness, or live with a friend for what
he has and what he owes, because imperfection is a human
characteristic.
Overtaking mistakes, forgetting them, forgiveness with no

reproach, until soul gets pure, is considered a higher status in
which we all hope to reach. So, let us start with small mistakes
at least.
If spouses need to live peacefully, in full of affection and

compassion, they should overtake mistakes, forge them, and
forgive with no reproach until their souls get pure.
Imam Ahmad said: Nine tenths of goodness can be found in

neglectance.

If reproach is soap of
hearts…, then plenty
of it leads to dryness and
cracking.
Tell the truth…
Whatever you hide from morals,
Shall be known by people

When a person lies, he /she just lies to himself/herself. The popular
proverb says” “lying’s rope is short.” What a worse when a spouse
feels that the other spouse lies to him. By this, he loses his trust to the
closest people to him, and does not accept from him even words or
expressions of love. Actually, this is a mistake that is hard to be treated,
but it is not impossible ... and the cure is confession and abide not to
commit it again.
All this is far from the sharia provisions on lying - and it is sufficient in
hadith narrated by Abdullah bin Masoud (RAA): The Messenger of Allah
(peace and prayers be upon him) said, “Truth leads to piety and piety
leads to Jannah. A man persists in speaking the truth till he is recorded
with Allah as a truthful man. Falsehood leads to transgression and
transgression leads to the Hell-fire. A man continues to speak falsehood
till he is recorded with Allah as a great liar”(27). what a shame when one
of us be written by Allah that he is lying?!!
As for truthfulness, truth leads to piety and piety leads to Jannah.

A man persists in speaking the truth till he is enrolled with Allah as a
truthful. Falsehood leads to vice and vice leads to the Fire (Hell), and a
person persists on telling lies until he is enrolled as a liar (28).
The sharia scholars have stated what is permissible of lying between

spouses, and that it is about the price of what is gifted, and what
perpetuates affection, pleases conscience, intimates hearts, and
removes verified or feared corruption, provided that it does not lose
the right of the other spouse, or there is a fear of the promise, or what
related to the rights of others.
On the authority of Umm Kulthum bint Uqba, she said: I did not hear
the Messenger of Allah (peace and prayers be upon him) making a
concession for anything people say falsely except in three matters. The
Messenger of Allah (‫ )ﷺ‬would say: I do not count as a liar a man who
puts things right between people, saying a word by which he intends
only putting things right, and a man who says something in war, and a
man who says something to his wife, or a wife who says something to
her husband (29).

Truthfulness is the spring of

heart, Zakat of creation the fruit
of generosity, and the ray of
conscience.
(Thabt Bn Qurrah)
News can’t be awaited
On the authority of Anas bin Malik, Anas ibn Malik: A man was with
the Prophet (peace and prayers be upon him) and a man passed by him
and said: Messenger of Allah! I love this man. The Messenger of Allah
(peace and prayers be upon him) then asked: Have you informed him?
He replied: No. He said: Inform him. He then went to him and said: I
love you for Allah’s sake. He replied: May He for Whose sake you love
me love you! (30).
If a Muslim man’s love for his brother (in Islam) is mandated to show
it, and it is legitimate for telling that to tell him about it, as well as,
the initiative to do so and not delay it, as it mentioned in one of the
narrations of the hadith on authority of Imam Ahmad: (Stand up, and
inform him), because that brings pleasure and brings believing hearts
in one heart, then the legitimacy of telling any of spouses to the other
of love is a prior matter be said. Because this considered a fulfillment of
what Islam seeks for strengthening the relationship of spouses’ marital
life and consolidating their love, so that their hearts come closer to
each other.
So, tell her you love her... and tell him that you love him..., and don’t
let Satan to spoil your happiness.
When spouse tells the other one that he loves her, it should not be as a
habit or as a routine used to be heard until it has become meaningless,
but rather be renewed and spring from heart to enter the heart and
be at the appropriate times, and in various emotional and varied
terms, accompanied by a kind smile and a sincere look. Let us have a
look together to this hadith: On the authority of Amr ibn al-Aas that
Allah’s Messenger (peace and prayers be upon him) sent `him as the
commander of Ghazwa of Dhat-us-Salasil. Àmr bin Al- Às said, “(On
my return) I came to the Prophet (peace and prayers be upon him) and
said, ‘Which people do you love most?’ He replied, Àisha ‘ I said, ‘From
amongst the men?’ He replied, ‘Her father (Abu Bakr)’. I said, ‘Whom
(do you love) next?’ He replied, “Ùmar.’ Then he counted the names of
many men, and I became silent for fear that he might regard me as the
last of them” (31).
If this great commander concerned about this matter, then it means
to both spouses more important matter, besides, the Messenger
of Allah, peace and prayers be upon him, did not find the slightest
embarrassment in declaring his love for his wife Aisha (RAA). The
existence of love only is not sufficient; rather it should be expressed in
a way that the other partner understands.

A part of me
Your kindness and generosity to your children or children in
law is a respect for your partner, and a mean of getting close
to him and winning his heart, meanwhile, this is a good deed in
which Muslim seeks its bless and grant in life and after death.
likewise, who offends the sons or daughters of partner is

insulting himself as abuse them reduces his value and love in
the heart of partner.
On the authority of Al-Musawar ibn Makhrameh “I heard

the Messenger of Allah when he was on the pulpit, say:
‘Banu Hisham bin Mughirah asked me for permission to marry
their daughter to ‘Ali bin Abu Talib, but I will not give them
permission, and I will not give them permission, and I will
not give them permission, unless ‘Ali bin Abu Talib wants to
divorce my daughter and marry their daughter, for she is a part
of me, and what bothers her bothers me, and what upsets her
upsets me.”
If your praise to partner’s possessions brings pleasure to his/

her heart, and criticism annoys him/her, then what related to
sons or daughters is more influential.
Do not blame me, for I do not believe in love who hates part
of me.

“who loves a tree loves branches”

Moliere.
Physical rapprochement
On authority of Anas bin Malik said:
“Whenever the Prophet (peace and prayers be upon him) met a man,
he would speak to him, and would not tune away until he (the other
man) was the one who turned away. And if he shook hands with him,
he would not withdraw his hand until he (the other man) withdrew his
hand. And he was never seen sitting with his knees ahead of the knees
of the one who was sitting next to him”(32).
And Yahya related to me from Malik from Ata ibn Abi Muslim that
Abdullah al-Khurasani said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah
bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘Shake hands and rancour will
disappear” (33).
On the authority of Anas, may be pleased by Allah, he said: When

the companions of the Prophet (peace and prayers be upon him), met,
they would shake hands, and if they came from a journey, they would
embrace (34).
All these evidences and others have indicated that the physical
rapprochement has a great effect on the closeness of hearts and their
harmony between brothers and between spouses as well, in prior, and
their need for that is greater.
In order for this rapprochement between spouses to have a positive

effect, each of spouses should beware of cleanness body and not to
allow unwanted smell to be emitted from his body which may harms
the other spouse, or finds spouse’s clothes are dirty, or carelessness in
appearance, but contrary he should be care of hygiene, fragrant and
good looking.
For the situation of our beloved and our example, may God bless him
and grant him peace, we talked about it from his husbands, may God
be pleased with them.
On the authority of Aisha that the Prophet ((peace and prayers be

upon him)) and I used to take a bath from a single pot of water and our
hands used to go in the pot after each other in turn. (35).
On the authority of Aisha, she said that When I was menstruating, the
Prophet saws would order me to wrap myself up (with an Izar, which is a
dress worn below the waist) and would start fondling me (36).
Um-Salama said, “I got my menses while I was lying with the Prophet
(peace and prayers be upon him) under a woolen sheet. So I slipped
away, took the clothes for menses and put them on. Allah’s Messenger
(peace and prayers be upon him) said, ‘Have you got your menses?’
I replied, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and took me with him under the
woolen sheet.” (37).

Aisha said, “The Prophet (peace and prayers be upon him) died in my
house on the day of my turn while he was leaning on my chest closer to
my neck, and Allah made my saliva mix with his Saliva (38).”
And your women from among the people of Paradise: the affectionate,
child-friendly and caring for her husband. Who, when angry, comes
until she puts her hand in her husband’s hand and says: I do not taste a
mystery until she is satisfied (39).
Meditate: (she puts her hand in her husband’s hand), it is a beautiful

motion that moves feelings with, so hearts come closer and get pure.
Bank of Love
On the day of your marriage, each of you opens a special
account at emotional bank, in the name of partner, since then,
he/ she registers in his account the deposits and withdrawals
(represented in every act or behavior by spouse).
So every beautiful act or speech of husband is a process of

depositing in his account, at his wife’s bank, through which her
love for husband has increased. likewise, every bad behavior
or speech by husband is a withdrawal process that reduces his
account and reduces wife’s love for him, as well as, every action
she does towards him, alike.
The deposit process may turn into a withdrawal process,

and vice versa. Example (1), when the husband travels with his
wife, its considered a deposit process, but he may turn it into
a withdrawal process when he makes her upset, and changes
kindness into distressing. Example (2), when the wife makes a
mistake, then admits and apologizes, this process turns into
deposit, and this can be called the balance or transaction
revering.
Thus, the deposit volume reflects the importance and degree

of words or action.
The most important thing is that we pledge this account,

increase deposits, and protect them from being burned by an
unpleasant behavior or harmful words.

Allah Says Surah AL‑BAQARAH

{Kind speech and forgiveness are better than charity
followed by injury.}
And Allah is Free of need and Forbearing.
Deep wound:
By this I mean some painful words that express the feelings
of the person who utters them towards the person said to, so
whoever hears these words understands the inconsistency of
the person uttering them and not accepting him/her, so the
husband may say it to the wife, or either one of the spouses
says it to the other, such as: “I do not love you”, “I wish I
married another so and so and if I did so, I was happy. “You
have no place in my heart. ”Getting married to you was a
hasty or wrong decision”, “Living with you is unbearable”,“
I suffer and stay with you only for the sake of the children.
Also other things that are more or less painful which have a
negative and mental effect.
These painful words take away the feeling of tranquility

between the spouses, and take away what it remains for each
of them in the heart of the other. Even though these words
are not often said out truthfully, but they were in moments of
anger and as a result of an immediate behavior. Unfortunately,
that does not justify it nor prevent it from being a cause of
breaking hearts. Moreover, it may even lead divorce when
either of them receives it and builds on it a lot of behavior
towards the other.
Perhaps a word uttered by a person who later wished he/she

was dead before uttering that painful word.
To conclude this paragraph, nothing better than silence in a

state of anger. If there is no apology, it is better to delay the
dialogue until to be quiet so that things are to be fixed in wiser
and rational way. In a state of anger, perhaps the solution is to
leave the place immediately until to calm down.

Means of positive discharge of anger:

«Seeking Allah for protection against the accursed Satan». (narrated by Muslim).
(When one of you is angry, he should be silent.») (Ahmad's Musnad),taking into
consideration the commandment of the Messenger of Allah, peace and prayers
be upon him (: Do not be angry.) (narrated by Al-Bukhari). (The Prophet (‫ )ﷺ‬said,
«The one who suppresses anger and has the power to give effect to it, will be
called out by Allah, the Exalted, to the forefront of the creatures on the Day of
Resurrection and he will be asked to choose any of the virgins (Hur) of his liking)
(narrated by Al-Tirmithi, Ibn Majah, Abu Dawood and Ahmad)
Restraining one's anger is one of the characteristics of the righteous and
benevolent: {And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden [i.e.,
Paradise] as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous Who
spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and
who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good;} (Al-Amran: 133-134)
Performing prayer is the enemy of Satan (narrated by Al-Tirmidhi).
Restraining one's anger is a trait of perfection Messenger of Allah (peace and
prayers be upon him) said, «The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling,
but the strong man is one who controls himself in a fit of rage.»
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Restraining one's anger for the sake of Allah is something loved by the Messenger
of Allah (peace and prayers be upon him): (Nothing I like more than a restraining
one's anger by a personfor the sake of Allah) (narrated by Ahmad).
False idealism:
Some spouses are involved in watching TV series that depict
the actor’s relationship with the actress as full of love and
Romance, free of problems and discomforts. Therefore one of
the spouses thinks it is an ideal view, so he/she compares it to
their own situation. Because of this, a negative transformation
occurred in their married life, which did not reach the image
they watch in the series.
Dear husband/wife...What you watch is nonsense and

(Acting). If we had looked at the marital life of these actors,
we would have found that many of them had failed in their
marital life. A number of them also failed more than once. There
is another bad image that some TV series depict in watchers
which embodies marital life as a life of suspicion and betrayal,
and that love in it is false, for example it embodies in the inner
feeling of the woman that the husband always lies about his
emotions and for husband, it embodies wife as selfish or only
cares about his money and so on. Be aware when watching
these series, as they are invalid against the well-known Islamic
law and cause negative impact on your marital relationships

Just in front of a camera the

person can smile at his enemy!
Strengthen these traits:
Every human being, no matter how good is he/she, can’t
reach perfection. That is the characteristic of sons of Adam, as
perfection belongs only to Allah. Likewise, every human being,
whether a man or a woman, will not lack a good character, no
matter how this bad person is.
Have we ever thought about getting the positive traits in a life

partner, and praise these features, encourage this person and
strengthen these features in him/her.
This prompts the other partner to acquire more good features,

and purifies the soul of what it opposes.
Have you ever looked at that person who fires coal to grill
meat above it? He purposely turns to the burning side and
blows over it to increase its ignition space, and if he turned to
the other side, the fire would put out and he would not have
achieved what he wanted.
Likewise, my dear spouses, you also deliberately ought to

strengthen the positives, and blow them up to increase and
thus make faults and negatives decrease.
Our beloved, the messenger of Allah (peace and prayers be

upon him) said to Ashaj Abdulalqais, “Messenger of Allah
(peace and prayers be upon him) said to Ashaj Abdul-Qais
(RAA), “You possess two qualities that Allah loves. These are
clemency and tolerance”40.

On the authority of Abdullah (bin Masùd)

said, «None has more sense of ghaira than
Allah therefore - He prohibits shameful sins
(illegal sexual intercourse, etc.) whether
committed openly or secretly. And none
loves to be praised more than Allah does,
and for this reason He praises Himself.»
Immerse troubles in good deeds' sea!
He talks to you about her; she talks to you about him as if each of
them is talking about a devil. That is because a problem arose and
made them forget every beautiful memory and every honest side of
their relationship.
Does a small or big problem do all this or is badness for goodness? A
little fairness between quarreling couple opens up great prospects to
fix the relationship.
I have attended several sessions to fix matters and problems among
quarreling spouses. I found that focusing on mistakes, exaggerating to
describe them and ignoring the positives between the spouses are the
enemy to reconcile and fix matters among them.
The opponent’s good characteristic are ignored in an anger mood.
Quarreling and dispute situation as Satan distracts us from these good
characteristics brings mistakes to our thoughts. So we believe that
mistakes are enormous, as large as the facts covered and not as the
amount of these mistakes themselves. There are things that deepen
hostility among spouses during marital disputes, including supplication.
Therefore, one of the supplications of the messenger of Allah, (peace
and prayers be upon him) “I ask you for the word of truth in times of
contentment and anger». Also silence in the mood of anger and when
being satisfied get used to focus on the positives, thank Allah for
these positive acts and remember that Allah will hold us accountable
for whatever we utter. I suggest that each of any couple brings now
a paper and a pen and write in the positive qualities of the other,
keep them. When a mistake is made by the other, or otherwise, or in
a situation of hostility, he/she finds nothing but this mistake and does
not remember anything from the other positives. He/she takes a piece
of paper and write these negatives, then Take out another and write
the positives and take the positives sheet that you wrote when was
satisfied, no doubt that many of them will be surprised that at the time
of the dispute they forgot that there are many positive aspects that the
other has and that their pros are more than their negatives. Al-Bukhari,
cf. Al-Asqalani, Fathul-Bari 1/82 as a statement of the Companion
‘Ammar (RA) said “Three characteristics, whoever combines them, has
completed his faith: to be just, to spread greetings to all people and to
spend (charitably) out of the little you have”.If Allah had commanded
the spouses after their divorce, by saying And to forego it is nearer to
righteousness. Allah has recommended spouses even after divorce by
saying {And do not forget graciousness between you. Indeed Allah, of
whatever you do, is Seeing}. Therefore, the priority of this command
from Allah is to be taken by the spouses married.

The poet said:

And whoever you satisfies all his features,
it is enough for a person to count his faults
Written messages:
Written emotional messages among spouses are a means
which strengthen the tranquility among them and expresses the
sender’s love to whom he/she sent and his/her happiness for
this bond. By doing this, mistakes are forgiven and forgotten.
Spontaneous messages which are done by the style of the
sender are the most beautiful.
Both spouses can be creative in formulating these messages

by expressing what go around in their hearts.
Some of these means are: cell phone text messages as well

as If the couple use one computer, one of them may surprise
the other by typing a love message on the background of the
computer screen and the other looks at it after switching on the
computer. Also by writing on a mirror in the bedroom and also
by the drawn cards which are placed on a pillow in bedroom, or
by hand, or placed on a gift or with clothes or in a suitcase or
with food, or delivered by one of the children or even sent by
mail or e-mail.
These are just examples, otherwise, the spouses can use other
means, which may be funny or cute, as one of the wives did
when her husband was angry about something and he got out
of the house. She took a piece of carton and wrote on it: “I
am sorry” and she hung it with a thread on her child’s chest.
When the husband came, he saw that and felt satisfied of her
b ehav i or.

It was mentioned that Ali Bin AbiTalib (RAA)

came to his wife, Fatima (RAA), and saw her
brushing her tooth by Siwak, and then he said:
Oh, Oud of Arak (siwak) you got
into her mouth?!
Do not you afraid, Oud of Arak
that I see you
If you were from the people of the
fighting, I would have killed you
No one defeated me, but you
Psychological pressure:
The mother of the faithful believers talked to the messenger
of Allah, peace and prayers be upon him, to relieve his horror,
saying “Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep
good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the
destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving
calamity-afflicted ones.”
How wonderful this style is from our mother, the wife of the
messenger of Allah, may Allah be pleased with her, and how much
the effect of relieving the horror from our beloved messenger,
peace and prayers be upon him after commencement of the
Divine Inspiration for the first time.
As if her soft words to him as honey and the effect as evident

magic (42).
It is normal that any of the spouses has different pressures

of life and that may have its negative impact on his/her
psychological state and his relationship with others for a period
of time. In this case, any one of them needs support from
those who stand beside him/her and take into account his/her
circumstances. For example, when the husband is poor, or he
is looking for a job and he cannot find, or he has a debt that he
could not pay back or any of the spouses is sick, or has failed
to make business or work, or when one of them went through
some personal problems at work or with a relative. In this case,
the life partner/one of the spouses must stand by the other until
he/she overcomes this circumstance and that the problem.
It is necessary to forgive the other’s mistakes who goes

through a particular circumstance because this circumstance
may have an effect on his/her behavior, so he/she acted in a
way that is not usual from him/her in another circumstance.
However, I urge each of the spouses to make sure not to

fall his/her personal problems on his/her marital relationship,
because the other partner may not bear his/her error, so that
it becomes a reason for the hearts to be separated and don’t
accept one another.

“The winds of troubles blow on everyone, filling

their souls with dust of sadness ... but there are
some who try to (extend) Sadness, and others try
to (get rid of) sadness”.
Prof. Abd El Aziz Al Mokabl
After work
Once either spouse comes from work, they feel tired as this
time is so sensitive, so spouse doesn’t like to hear any request
from the other spouse is a sensitive time, but he is waiting
to hear nice words that take away from him/her the trouble
and burden of work, so that the spouses should avoid blame,
reproach and demand at this time.
A study conducted in one of the Gulf States which indicated

that most cases of divorce happen at noon after work!
My advice to wives is to make sure to create an appropriate

atmosphere for husbands after coming back from work,
because this makes husbands feel that wives care about them,
and their concern for their comfort.
The best of all is the case of those husbands and wives who
take off their work coat and burden when leaving work, and
meet their husbands / wives with cheerful faces, reassured
souls, and open chests
I think that, by Allah willing, we can be like them, so let us be

used to such great things.

Allah says
{And of His signs is that He created for you
from yourselves mates that you may find
tranquility in them; and He placed between
you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are
signs for a people who give thought}.
AR-RUM: 21
It is a half of the truth
In some assemblies, you will hear someone praising her
husband that he is a good person, generous, and of good
character, and so on .. and you, O husband, also you hear such
words from a husband on his wife.
What the husband says, or wife says, is something that tells a

real reality that they live in, but what I would like to point out
is that these words are often half the truth and not the whole
truth. So, do not be guided by Satan. Those spouses who were
praised actually have errors and shortcoming as well.
I might take this advantage of occasion to send a message to

husbands and wives who praise their spouses in front of others,
as a matter of saturation with what they did not give.
‘isha reported that a woman said:Allah’s Messenger, may I say
to my (co-wife) that my husband has given me (such and such) a
thing but which he has not in fact gives me? ‘Thereupon Allah’s
Messenger (peace and prayers be upon him) said: The one who
makes a false statement of that which one has not been given is
like one who wears a garment of falsehood (44) (45).

There was speech between Aisha bint Talha and her

husband Omar bin Ubaid Allah bin Muammar, so she stayed
up for that night and said: Ibn Abi Rabi’a is ignorant to this
my night, then he said:

A guardian did enough for everything she
concerns about
There is nothing else for the night
to stay awake
As a matter of telling
Sometimes, a spouse may be ravaged by a matter that
disturbs his mood and distracts his mind, and if he fears that this
will affect his relationship with the other spouse, and he does
not want to inform him about it, then perhaps it is appropriate
for the wife to apologize to her husband that something has
occupied her mind and ask him to excuse her if she did not
do much better to him that day. By this, it would be a matter
of informing, not complaining, as it contains an apology for
negligence, and it also contains a message to the other partner
that you are dear to me, and your feelings towards me means
a lot to me.
Concealment should not be resorted to except in the

narrowest limits. Because the basic principle is that one of the
spouses should not hide the troublesome matters from the
other in order to be able to help the other partner and to be
more informed in his excuse, and also, concealment may lead
the other partner to mistrust.

You will be
excused by.
whom who knows
your excuse
Thanks for duty
When the wife serves at home and facilitates the means of
comfort, it is the duty of each spouses, but when each of them
finds words of encouragement and expressions of praise, doing
this duty will turn into a source of pleasure and happiness for
those who do this because words of praise and encouragement
give a positive energy. So, the wife says to her husband, when
he comes from his work, Allah may help you, all this is for our
sake!!, and she says to him when he brings her something she
requested or takes her somewhere, May Allah reward you.. you
never let me down. So, when the husband comes from work
and finds lunch prepared, then he thanks her for that, and
praises her for such activities.
The phrase (no gratitude for an obligation), with regard to the

one to whom the duty is given, is something that should not be
acted upon, and contrary is better.
Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him
and grant him peace, said, “Allah does not thank the person
who does not thank people (46).”

If your hand is short to

reward,
then let your tongue
lengthens of thanks..
The Sacrifice... and the partner
When a spouse sacrifices something he loves or a special
interest for the sake marital life, this will actually leave a great
impact on achieving harmony between both of you.
The wife takes her child out of the bedroom in order to not
disturb the father with baby crying, leaving her bed, satisfied
to stay up with hardship for the sake of her husband’s comfort.
The wife’s family disconnect with the husband of their

daughter, while the husband keeps in touch with them, seeking
to bring pleasure to his wife as are people.
This reminds me of Tlemceni’s saying:
I hide my feeling towards your family because I love you
And for that, eyes of a thousand eyes are honored!
Do you think that such attitudes are going to go unheeded?!!!
Never! The honorable people will never forget that, and this
will tighten the relationship,
there will be Lamps illuminate their life paths, and supplies

and fuel to keep relationship continues.
Mrs. Nadia Mansour referred to the importance of sacrifice,

saying: “Love is a mixture of respect, kindness, sacrifice and
unselfishness, and it is a combination of a successful marriage,
while selfishness disturbs the marital relationship.”

“Whoever says that he gives

and does not receive,
actually he has received more
than what is worth.”
Mikhail Naima
In order not to widen the gap
When there is a dispute or disagreement, we should seek to
resolve that problem. In case this dispute
requires a third party to be arbitrated, or consulted, so we

should choose the one who is religious, knowledgeable and a
wise. If any of the spouses has consulted anybody, whoevers,
it is often this is the reason of acerbating the problem and the
expanding of its circle, besides, that all people knew about it,
and so far and did not reach any solution.
Religion alone is not sufficient for a person to be worthy of

counsel. It is unfortunate that people are consulted just because
they are friends or relatives, or writers in this forum or that one.
Today, praise be to Allah, charitable advisory centers have

been increased. They can be consulted.
Also, there is something that should be noted which is that

conversation or consultation with those who are not expected
to reach a solution, or a contract, or a settled opinion, could
bring spouses to the backbiting forbidden, so beware...!!
How good and beautiful houses that keep problems inside,

not to be disclosed?!!!! , and if a third party is needed, they
should seek help from trusted people.
I do not call for keeping the problem inside the house in case
the problem needs to be solved and this problem get worse.
So in this case, it is necessary to seek the help of reformers and
neutrals advisors. Therefore, do not consult a friend or relative
whose effects by sympathy.

There was loneliness between Al-A`mash and his

wife, so he asked some of his companions to satisfy
her and reconcile between them, so they entered
to her and said: Abu Muhammad is a great sheikh,
so he does not let you down as he is blind, a
thin, a weak, bad smell in armpit and mouth and
stingy, then Al-A`mash to his ]shortcomings what
she did not know.
At the market
Woman needs to buy some of her needs from the market, and this is
a legal and guaranteed right for her, so her husband buys for her what
she needs, or he takes her to the market to buy her needs.
The problem that a husband leaves his wives to go shopping without

accompany her as accompanying her is a protection, and a notification
from him that he cares about what concerns to her. In same regard, and
some husband go with their wives to market, but they annoys them
(wives) with indulgence, pity and anger, arguing that they (husbands)
do not like the markets or getting through of them (markets). We say
to those husbands that you have the right you hate going to markets
as markets are the worst places to Allah, but you do not have the right
to annoy your wife and get angry for a slightest reason, because your
anger affects her in making the appropriate decision about what she
wants to buy. Thus her feeling that she has no decision to choose her
clothes, and this inevitably will negatively affect the relationship, at least
within a long period. If this behavior continues, and do not forget about
the balance.. balance !, {Kind speech and forgiveness are better than
charity followed by injury. And Allah is Free of need and Forbearing}
(47).
Therefore, we should be among those who do not let their wives go

to markets alone, but they stop the trouble of going there, or they go,
accompanied by them (wives), meanwhile, the husbands should be
patients, and what more respected thing is when you feel that
you are happy to accompany and help her.
You, wife ... I remind you of the importance of observing your husband’s
financial conditions, taking into account that time of shopping should
be short, so that you husband feels well and marital life get stabled.

Going around
When a husband makes a good thing to his wife by going with
her to an occasion, or visiting relatives, it is actually a beautiful
act, but a few husbands follow such good thing with harm or
insult to their wives. (so this good act shifted from deposit into
withdrawal. For instance, a husband went with his wife to a
dinner at one of his relatives or her relatives. At the end of the
event, he called his wife and told her that he is waiting for her
in the car as visit time is over, and then she was a little late,
and accordingly, as soon as she got into the car, he met her by
saying, You were late ... I wish I did not bring you to this occasion
... Insulting, shouting, although the wife may be late as one of
her kids might lost something like his shoe, or might be other
son requested to go to a toilet, so the wife became somewhat
late. In this case, the wife should have to tell the husband the
reason of being late before the husband gets anger.
Likewise, if the husband being late.

The poet said:

you've Spoiled what you
consider it a favor
It is not the generous if he gives,
he considers that favor.
Your opinion means a lot to me
Each spouse, with variety degrees of importance for these
decisions, makes a number of decisions in life, and what
increases the intimacy between the spouses and get hearts
so closer is the consultation between each other on what they
want to do, especially in relevant to their marital life.
I do not call for consultation on every decision, but I advise

each of spouses to feel that he does not make a decision without
his advice, so it is nice for you to consult her in choosing the day
on which you will go out together for a picnic, and in choosing
the house you wish to live in, and to consult him in choosing the
gift that You want to present it to your mom or dad, the clothes
to buy for you, and more.
Counseling is from the counselor to the counselor as saying:

I am comfortable with you and your opinion and that is why I
liked your participation in making this decision.
Among the examples in this is what al-Bukhari narrated that

the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him in the
reconciliation of al-Hudaybiyyah, said to his companions: (Get
up, slaughter and shave.) And no one of them rose up. Go out
and then speak no one of them until you cut your body and call
on your throat, and he shaves you. (So he did, and when they
saw that, they did as he did.
It should also be known that advice does not imply an

obligation to take an opinion.

(Well-support is the advice)

Ali bin Abi Talib (RAA)
Leave what cannot be changed..
Ayoub Al-Sakhtiani said: If it is not what you want, do what
to be.
Some matters cannot be changed by the wife or the husband;

As if there is a congenital problem which can be never treated
or the husband social condition is lower than the wife, the
educational level of one of them is lower than the other, and
cannot change it by increasing the earning, or one of spouses’
parents or a relative is poor or suffers from a Permanent
disability from disease or even insanity, and so on...
What I want here is to point out that as long as such things

cannot be changed for the better. Talking about that cannot be
understood as a seeking reforms or improving situation, rather
it is a type of satire and connotation, where the speaker about
it will only benefit nothing, just harming the other partner, and
thus no more love still there.
Therefore, why talking about something can’t never be

changed? If we want compassionate hearts and sympathetic
souls.

If you got bored in

seeking what is lost
You will be deprived
happiness in what existed
Do not be stingy, nor squander in
alimony...
The husband, legally, is required to spend on his wife,
and it is not strange that alimony may be a reason of heart
estrangement, especially when the husband is stingy toward
his wife, so this makes her feel that he does not care about her,
as well as when the wife asks from her husband for something
over what he can afford, then he may understand from that that
she is a selfish woman who prefers the financial aspect to the
husband happiness.
The husband has to spend on his house and his wife and
provide her needs according to his ability, without favor as he
will be rewarded for that in terms of the Messenger of Allah,
may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to Saad” and
whatever you spend for Allah’s Sake, you will get reward for
it even for the morsel of food which you put in your wives
mouth.” (47). The wife, as well, has to show her husband her
rationalization and her eagerness to save his money, and to only
ask for what she needs, in limit his ability.
We have a beaming in which we can walk based in as Allah,

the Almighty says {To spend in his capacity) (48), {And those
who spent, not to be stingy nor squander} (49), {and do not put
your hand tied to your neck, nor extend it all the way, so you
stay culpable (50).

Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq (RAA) said:

I hate the people of a household who spend
subsistence days in one day.
The beloved names to him
One of Allah’ blessings to the believer, among his servants, in
the hereafter, is to call him with the most beloved names to him
as this is what man loves in this life. Therefore, the Islam took
care of choosing names well. Hadiths were narrated On the
authority of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and
grant him peace, in which the prophet Mohammed changed
some names by better names than them. All this because of the
effect of these names on their owners as names are part of their
being and their personality.
Calling one of spouses the other partner by the most beloved

names to him is what makes him feel comfortable as this gives
happiness and joy to spouses. The most beloved names for
spouses differs from a husband or wife to others. Some husbands
prefer to be called by the first name) Abd Allah (or (Aisha), and
other husbands prefer to be named by his nickname (Abu Abd
Rahman), and some of them prefer to be called by a beautiful

surname said by the wife or likewise by the husband, or by
deleting the last of the name.
The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him
peace, used to call out to Aisha
(O Aish). She narrated that the messenger of Allah (peace and

prayers be upon him said:(‘O ‘Aishah, Jibril sends greetings of
Salam to you.’ I said (Aisha): peace and mercy of Allah be upon
him, you see what I do not see, you want the Messenger of
Allah (51).
Some men and women like to be called by people by his/her

nickname, but he/she loves his/her partner to call by the first
name.
Dear Spouses... each of you should know the favorite name or

surname of the partner as this becomes more beautiful when
heard by partner.

In Makkah, Utbah bin Rabiah came to a messenger

of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace and
offered him provocative offers, and when he finished, the
prophet Mohammed may Allah bless him and grant him
peace said to him « Have you finished inflicting, O Abu.»
Al-Walid. even in this situation, the messenger of
Allah was kind to him and called him by names to him.
You, Me and no one else
Here, I will not talk about the husband’s right to polygamy, and when
he marries and when not
permissible for him to do so, because I am not one of the people of
the fatwa.
What I would like to point out is what some spouses used to say
repeatedly to their wives that, “I will marry a second woman.”
O husband... marry or not, this is up to you, but beware to make this
matter as a weapon to defame or provoke your wife with it.
For the wife, she was brought based the love of the husband and
hatred of existing a second wife.
You know that your message will come to her as you wanted of
o ff e n s e ! !
When you said that in the context of a provocation or threat, she
understands that you mean: I will marry another woman better than you,
give her out of love what I do not give you; Because you do not deserve
my love. Therefore, she may understand that your love for her might be
reduced or gone, and this brings to her heart sorrow that disturb the
peace of your lives, you may not have realized its dimensions.
The wife does not like her husband praising another woman in front
of her.
And you, O wife, beware of praising a man in front of your husband,
especially when talking about your first husband. This absolutely annoys
your husband, and he feels that you have seen in whom you praised
what you have not seen in your husband.
What troubles the spouses in the smoothness of their lives is to
compare any of the spouses with another rather than him/her, as if the
wife says in praising a husband that he gives his wife So-and-so and go
together somewhere. Likewise, the husband says” I have eaten with my
friend delicious food cooked by his wife as I have never tasted like that
food, or the husbands says to his wife “I wish you could take care of
your kids like that woman.
As if I were imagining you saying, and this is my hope: My dear
husband, I thank you, I’ve never heard of that, and I will be like that.
As if I were imagining you saying the same as she said and are
not among those who make marriage as a weapon shown to
wife and provokes her.
Let have the slogan that says: To be for others as I would love to be
for me.

«Do not pass a thread between

a husband and his wife.».
Russian proverb.
Why do we travel?!
Some spouses used to travel together for days, and some
used to go out to some nearby parks, or even hotels or parks
for one or two days, which is a good thing for spouses to break
in the routine of life, and move its stagnant water, away from the
hustle and bustle of life and its problems, and to be together as
a unique couple.
Isn’t not the right of each of them toward the other if they
financially able to do so, especially at this time where there are
many commitments and engagements, so the chances of some
spouses to meeting and being alone are less than before.
O husband, and you, wife, try this idea. Try to be together

for couple days and leave your children with your dear
grandmother, or cute aunt
You will enjoy a beautiful trip, and you will wash your hearts
against every blame, reproached, and may even feel the same
feelings of first days of marriage.

What brings happiness while our travels

Follow the prophetic approach
represented as follows:
Travel supplication.
Say Allah Akbar (Allah is the greatest) when

go up at the plane And praise Allah when go
down at the plane.
Honoring your travel companion

And help him in what he needs.
Reproach of lovers
Spouse may blame the other partner for something, but it
should not be expressed, using bad words which may separate
and harm hearts.
This expression is a means to convey the message of reproach.

So, this mean should call for familiarity, fixing what has been
corrupted, and overcoming the problem as some husbands
and wives, do not know what to say when they get through
reproach.
Let the reproach be in a way of feeling love and affection: I

reproach you, my beloved, for something..
Here you are unique example of lover’s reproach. On the

authority of Aisha (RAA) that Allah’s Messenger (peace and
prayers be upon him) said to her, “I know when you are pleased
with me or angry with me.” I said, “Whence do you know that?”
He said, “When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the
Lord of Muhammad,’ but when you are angry with me, then you
say, ‘No, by the Lord of Abraham.’ “Thereupon I said, “Yes (you
are right), but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger (peace and prayers
be upon him), I leave nothing but your name.

On the authority of Al-Nu'man bin Bashir, he said: Abu Bakr came to have a permission
from the Prophet Mohammed (peace and prayers be upon him) , and he (Abu Bakr)
heard Aisha while raising her voice to the Messenger of Allah, so he gave him
permission, and he entered and said: O daughter of Umm Roman, and he took it up,
raise your voice to the Messenger of Allah. She agrees with him: Do you not see that I
have slipped between the man and you? He said: Then Abu Bakr came and asked him
for permission and found him laughing at her, he said, so he gave him permission, so he
entered and Abu Bakr said to him: O Messenger of Allah, you have shared me in your
peace and war.
Narrated by Imam Ahmad

Great letters
Your are everything for me
Once you call me, my heart tends
These letters are among of the same as the eight letters of the
alphabet, but they are alive with a color rather than the one used by
some spouses.
It is nice for the spouses to become accustomed to these letters, get

used to exchanging them with each other as they are expressions of
love, words of flirt, sincere invitations, they do magic in hearts. These
words remove the accumulations of errors that stuck on souls, the
effects of shortcomings, and misunderstandings.
I hope both of you, spouses, to read some poetic verses of flirt, and
present them to each other, whether in writing or verbally.
Dear husband, praise her in front of her sons and daughters, and urge
them to pray for her for good health and success, and remind them of
her beautiful features and generous qualities, so that you do the same.
Some of us may not be able to do such things or ashamed of trying

them, just because he is not familiar with them, and also because he did
not taste their sweetness and get their fruit.
Shunte Feldahan says in her book (For Women Only) “Just as we love
to hear (I love you), a man’s heart beats hard to hear simple words like:
(How I proud of you!!)”

The prophet Mohammed peace and

prayers be upon him says:
(And the good word is a charity).
[Al-Bukhari] [Muslim]
Clarify the causes of reproach
Sometimes, one of spouses reproaches the other partner
when he/she commits a mistake by his life, without explaining
to him/her the reason for the blame or reproach, which should
not be, because some spouses make mistakes, but they do not
feel they have sinned.
So it was better for each of us, if he/she made a mistake, he/

she should explain to other partner the reason for blaming, and
he/she heard that, he/she might be surprised by the initiative
of the second partner to apologize and that his/her mistake
was not intended, or perhaps he/she did not feel that would
make a mistake, and perhaps the blame discovered that his/her
blame was just misplaced. In same regard, it was caused as he/
she understood the situation in a wrong way, and he/she may
discover that his/her behavior was the cause of the problem,
and then he/she apologizes.
The initiative of the one who made the mistake to discuss the
matter with the other partner is an opportunity for the other
partner to be brave in admitting his/her mistake and offering
an apology.
We do not forget to be kind with reproach, because the other

partner deserves this kindness, and our lives and our souls
deserve to live in calm and dignity.
Among the beautiful things that were said is: “Extreme the
reproach calls for avoidance.”

Ibn al-Sammak said to Muhammad bin Suleiman, or Hammad bin

Musa to his clerk as he saw him reluctant him: “Why do I see you
reluctant me?” He replied: I hated something reported to me
about you. He said: So I do not care. He said why: then he replied
because if it was a sin, you forgive me, and if it was lawful, you
did not accept it. He said: Then he returned to amiability
Children are not a problem
Perhaps children are a reason of collapse the marital relationship.
Pardon ... it is true that children are among the adornments of this
worldly life, but when spouses fall into some wrong behaviors in front
of children, or matters related to them, could be a reason of marital life
weakness.
There are things that spouses should be aware in their relationship
with children, including:
Beware of conflict in presence of children:
Our children have the right which is that parents not to be quarreled
in presence of children as this causes in expanding the problem
and effects on children future and passions, perhaps this is a reason
for dividing children into 2 groups, one group advocates the father,
and never accepts any matter from the mother and the other group
advocates the mother and never accepts any matter from the father.
By this, parents will lose the roles in breading children as each spouse
is going to be a head of party at home, seeking to prove his existence
and exclude the other partner.
Do not dominate, for sake of a child or object, on account the other
partner
The husband may see that his wife has sinned against one of the
children in a manner of directing or punishing (and vice versa), and who
should not be objected in the procedures taken in front of children,
meanwhile, he/she should clarify his/her opinion about taking this
procedure.
The objection in front of children is liable to be unhappy, and the
objectioner’s chest, and the children lose their trust in his/her opinion,
and this is not pleasant to spouses.
Children bed times should be regulated
The wife should set the children’s sleep times to ensure that the father
sees them when he comes back home, and what allows him and the
wife to be alone with each other during the rest time. By this, children
should sleep before the husband enters the bedroom, even if they
sleep in a separate room, or at least utilize their time in a way that does
not affect negatively on them. So, parents can have their time to enjoy.

Play together...
The marital relationship should include fun and joys between
spouses, and this what was about the prophet Mohammed
peace and prayers be upon him with his wives.
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu’minin: While she was on a journey

along with the Messenger of Allah (peace and prayers be upon
him): I had a race with him (the Prophet) and I outstripped him
on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I had a race with him
(the Prophet) and he outstripped me. He said: This is for that
outstripping (53).
The messenger of Allah, may bless him and grant him peace,
did not say: I am so old to play with my wife, or: I do not have
time for such play and amusement, in same time, Aisha (RAA),
did not say that this work is not befitting of a rational woman,
and that is Just the children behaviors.
The messenger of Allah, peace prayers and be upon him, set

an example for us by his action as he urged us in his words” On
the authority of Jaber (RAA), in a long hadith said to him: Where
had you been (away) from the amusements of virgins”? (55)
Dear spouses, what time is the last to play together!!!?
The hustle and bustle of life, the abundance of its concerns

and circumstances, should not forget us to the importance of
entertainment and joking between us as spouses, and however
our financial capabilities are, there should be opportunities that
suit both of you.
The fun is a water washes and burden life.

Mu'adha reported ‘A'isha as saying:

Allah' messenger and I used to wash from one vessel
which stood between us, and he would get ahead of me,
so that I would say, ‘Give me a chance, give me a chance.’
” She said that they had had sexual intercourse.
(Bukhari and Muslim.)
All Praise be to Allah…
Achieving the lowest level of marital happiness is a blessing, but
other people, with sorrow, have deprived from this blessing. We will
not be able to keep this blessing and obtain more happiness, unless
we thank Allah, the Almighty as he said: {your Lord permits, if you
thank, I will increase you) (56).
Did we sit together and remember this blessing, recount something

of its details, and thank Allah for that? {And if you exceed the grace of
Allah, you can’t count it}.
Thanksgiving is the conviction of the heart, and speaking of the

tongue, and harnessing the organs in obedience of gives the blessings
(Allah), but disobedience is contrary to gratitude and thanksgiving.
Meditate on blessings and draw attention to them from time to time

is one of the greatest sources of happiness and satisfaction.
Let us repeat with Dr. Ghazi Al-Qusaibi as he says:
Thank you (Allah)! And dreams laughing
Praise be to you (Allah)! The days are bloody
Thank you (Allah)! And joys dance in my blood
Thank you (Allah)! Sickness strikes in my chest
Praise you (Allah)! I can’t give you a compliment as you deserve ...
even if my life is overwhelmed... And if his nights come in treachery

The comprehensive supplications of the prophet Mohammed
peace and prayers be upon him: O Allah, help me to
remember You, to give You thanks , and to perform Your
worship in the best manner.

Eyes language
when the relationship between the spouses has strengthened, they
reached a degree of harmony which makes one of them read the looks
of the other, and know their meaning.
This is what we can find as what was narrated on the authority of Aisha
Narrated Aisha:
It was one of the favors of Allah towards me that Allah’s Messenger

(peace and prayers be upon him) expired in my house on the day of my
turn while he was leaning against my chest and Allah made my saliva
mix with his saliva at his death. Àbdur-Rahman entered upon me with a
Siwak in his hand and I was supporting (the back of) Allah’s Messenger
(peace and prayers be upon him) (against my chest). I saw the Prophet
(peace and prayers be upon him) looking at it (i.e. Siwak) and I knew
that he loved the Siwak, so I said (to him), “Shall I take it for you? “
He nodded in agreement. So I took it and it was too stiff for him to
use, so I said, “Shall I soften it for you?” He nodded his approval. So I
softened it and he cleaned his teeth with it. In front of him there was a
jug or a tin, (The sub-narrator,Ùmar is in doubt as to which was right)
containing water. He started dipping his hand in the water and rubbing
his face (57).
Eyes language is the only language that does not need an interpreter;
as it can be understood by all people in the world,… how about two
(spouses)..!!? They meet and communicate, so it is almost normal for
them to reach a degree of harmony, so that each knows the need of the
other through his/her looks without uttering.
Language of spoken has become disable, but my eye addressed yours
through language of passion. (poetry)

The eye is a tongue never lies

Keep in touch in absence of body
Keep in touch in absence of body
Spouses may be absent to each other; in a business or other travel,

or a long visit. This absence, itself, if justified, is not a problem, but the
problem is when communication between spouses is cut off during
absence period, despite the availability of communication means.
Some husbands or wives spend minutes, calling mates and friends,

but they spend a few with their partners, or overlook it, despite its
importance, and great impact.
This communication makes the other partner feels in love of him/her

even if it is far from the body, but it is so closer to heart and soul.
Try, husband and try, wife.. you (both) will find your meet after this
absence is more longing and deeper love.
Poetry:
I no longer know where to go
Every day I feel you are so closer
It’s hard to get used to your absence
And your presence is harder
I wish you were my pupil
Did I ask for what was not demanded?
Whisper: The absence of one spouse from the other for a short
period is considered unhide benefits, including renewing love and
regenerating longing between spouses.

«we visit you, not to reward you for brusqueness .

The lover if not visits, will be visited
The home gets closer as longing while it is awayٌ
who heals the longing has not left the home».
Al-Abbas bin Al-Ahnaf.
Listen to each other
Good listening to each other, no interrupting him/her
while talking, or ignoring talk, neglecting it, strengthens the
relationship between them,
People might say that he/she is a good speaker, but actually

he/she is just a tactful listener!
Let us be that person.
Some husbands or wives interrupt the other by saying

useless utters, just like kids or while answering phone, reading
newspaper or anything else. This should not be happened
between beloved spouses.
But when one spouse interrupts the other for an “important”

or emergency, It should be done in a tactful way, so that the
other partner feels respected and concerned by the other
partner, by saying “excuse me” “please” “may I…?”
Dear spouses, make sure that you listen well to each other,
and do not interrupt the speaker as good listening doesn’t
need more efforts, meanwhile, it means a great positive thing,
leaving it may create a big problem.

They said about good listening:
You have to open your ears
before people open their mouths.

The long abandonment creates carelessness
Abandonment is legally premised for husband as a technique of

discipline and treat some problems, and it was not legitimated to be
a problem itself, but it was legitimated within limitations and rules,
including:
1- It should not exceed three days, unless the abandonment is for a

legitimate matter, so
No objection to increase the period for general interest.
2- it should not be outside the house as some sharia scholars said:

Allah said:
{And abandon them in their beds} (58), not to abandon their beds.
This indicates that abandonment is in bed, so you can sleep with her,
give her your back.
Our great religion forbids the husband to leave his wife out of the
house in event of revocable divorce as long as she is in a waiting
period, regardless the non-divorced.
So, if the husband abandons his wife and he does not go out or take
her out, then this period can be an opportunity for each of them to
review what happened, and to think wisely and rationally and strive to
find a suitable solution.
But in case that one spouse left home, this actually causes widening
and escalating the circle of problem, and perhaps one of spouses feels
not interested toward the other spouse.
When the abandonment period exceeds three days, the spouses

may become accustomed with it, then the meeting becomes
impossible.
Thus, let’s make better tools for construction, not demolished

shovels.

«Loneliness of abandonment - the isolation of abandonment

– is a severe torment that the eye cannot see, the mind does
not imagine, and it itself makes resistance in vain. It poisons
every hour of the day, fills all days of life with misery, because
it is loneliness which destroys hope and life, in which its fruits
discourage the motivation and disperse the goal until they
become, by passing days, more and more difficult to be
treated. They burden the soul more than any quick blow.»
Dr. Gina Lembroso
It captures hearts
It does not need more effort, hardship or trouble, but it acts magically
in hearts. It enters heart through its widest gates, feels the other partner
of love, harmony and intimacy, means enough of many love words, and
enough to keep away of complements words, in addition, it increases
its beauty and glory...it is the smile,.. the face pleasant.. what a beauty
of the smiley lips!!!!
Jarir said, “Since the time I became Muslim, the Messenger of Allah,
may Allah bless him and grant him peace, never saw me without smiling
at me”(59).
Abu Dharr (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
Messenger of Allah (peace and prayers be upon him) said, “Do not
disdain a good deed, (no matter how small it may seem) even if it is your
meeting with your (Muslim) brother with a cheerful face” (60).
“Your smiling in the face of your brother is charity” (61).
This is in face of your Muslim brother, no matter what fare is he/she,..

imagine how about if one of the spouses smiles in face of the other.
Our beloved Mohammed, peace and prayers be upon him, only

urged us to do so because he was certain that this had an effect on the
formation of hearts and their meeting and unification of opinion.
Let the smile become vivid, but not the smile of briber; some people
smile, but when .. if they are in need!!.

If the generous has a frown face

then how sweet is cheerfulness of the stingy?!!
Keep your desires
He did back home, and the family’s travel date is approaching,
meanwhile, he knows that his wife wants the destination (A),
but she has no objection to the destination (B), while he is
interested to the destination (B), so he said: We will go to (B),
and I chose it as I knew like it and your desire to it.
As for her, she prepared dinner in a stainless steel containers

and said: How do you think we go out for dinner in one of the
nearby parks? because that would bring happiness to you and
your children, while he knows how eager is she to go out with
him to parks nearby.
Many issues are occurred in some homes in which one of the

spouses is compromising by saying I will do this just for you.
Rather, this man says” My wish is for our trip to (B),and

because you have no objection with that, what’s your think of
going there?, then she will agree with him on that. Then she will
say “let’s go there as this brings happiness for all of us.
This observation is accurate, but extremely important.
I’m so glad that both of you hate this technique, but I’m
happier you are are away from that.

Be friends
When a husband is a friend to his wife, she feels safe, as it is a resort
in sorrows and sadness, and a partner for her in joys and delights.
Likewise, if the husband finds in his wife a true and a sincere friend,
does not feel comfortable unless by being close to her, and nothing
makes him happy like her, after Allah bless and willing.
‘A’isha reported that (one day) there sat together eleven women
making an explicit promise amongst themselves that they would
conceal nothing about their spouses. The first one said:
One day Abu Zara’ went out (of his house) when the milk was churned
in the vessels, that he met a woman, having two children like leopards
playing with her pomegranates (chest) under her vest. He divorced me
(Umm Zara’) and married that woman (whom Abu Zara’) met on the
way. I (Umm Zara’) later on married another person, a chief, who was an
expert rider, and a fine archer: he bestowed upon me many gifts and
gave me one pair of every kind of animal and said: Umm Zara’, make
use of everything (you need) and send forth to your parents (but the
fact) is that even if I combine all the gifts that he bestowed upon me,
they stand no comparison to the least gift of Abu Zara’. ‘A’isha reported
that Allah’s Messenger (‫ )ﷺ‬said to me: I am for you as Abu Zara’ was
for Umm Zara’(62).
The Sharia scholars said: It is a good intention for her and an

explanation of the husband kindness to her, otherwise it is fine!.. from
Abu Zara’.
Anas reported that Allah’s Messenger (‫ )ﷺ‬had a neighbour who was

Persian (by descent), and he was expert in the preparation of soup. He
prepared (soup) for Allah’s Messenger (‫ )ﷺ‬and then came to him to
invite him (to that feast). He (Allah’s Messenger) said:
Here is ‘A’isha also (and you should also invite her to the food). He
said: No. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (peace and prayers be upon
him) also said: No (then I cannot join the feast). He returned inviting
him, and Allah’s Messenger (peace and prayers be upon him) said: She
is also there (i. e. ‘A’isha should also be invited). He said: No. Thereupon
Allah’s Messenger (peace and prayers be upon him) also said: No
(and declined his offer). He returned again to invite him and Allah’s
Messenger (peace and prayers be upon him) again said: She is also
there. He (the host) said:” Yes” for the third time. Then he accepted his
invitation, and both of them set out until they came to his house” (63).

I and he are as eye and her sister

also I and he are as a palm and a wrist
(Abu Firas al-Hamdani)

Nose, sometimes, hates before heart ..
Narrated Jabir bin Àbdullah:
The Prophet (peace and prayers be upon him) said, “Whoever has
eaten garlic or onion should keep away from us (or should keep away
from our mosque) (64).’
We also take from this hadith its apparent provision, and we take from
it the care of Islam for the rights of others, even in this matter which
is about the smell, so it is their right on us not to harm them with any
unpleasant smell.
The two spouses are the first to take this concept into account, so let
them make sure of smell body, mouth, hair, and clothes, so that partner
may smell bad smell which bothers the other partner, so that would be
a reason for his aversion from you, and his unwillingness to approach
from you.
The Prophet Mohammed, peace and prayers and be upon him, used
to have siwak before he gets in his house as in Sahih Muslim.
Narrated Anas:
I have never touched silk or Dibaj (i.e. thick silk) softer than the palm
of the Prophet (peace and prayers and be upon him) nor have I smelt a
perfume nicer than the sweat of the Prophet.
currently, all praise be to Allah that he facilitates the means of

preserving the good smell as combating the bad smell is available,
and among the means in that: to cleanse the mouth and perfume
it: toothpicks, brush and paste, chewing gum, sweets with mint or
other; for the body, creams and perfumes that smell good Body, and
“shampoos”, and for the head, as well as deodorant fresheners, which
are usually used after bathing, and they are available in pharmacies.
In same regard, do not forget to pay attention to cleaning feet and

their smell, especially those who wear socks. So I never forget what I
once have read in a newspaper that one of wives demanded divorce
and filed a case to the judge as her husband he does not take care of
the cleanliness and smell of his feet, and she said that she will not return
to him unless he undertakes to take care of the cleanliness of his feet.

an Arabia mother recommended her daughter on

her wedding party:
«Check the position of your husband's eyes and nose, so he do
not see any mistake of you, and only smells the best smell of you.»
This recommendation is for both spouses, as the wife tries to do
that for her husband.

Do you like criticism?
Spouses, you should accept criticism from the other with satisfied
mind, and see to other that his/her motivation is by love and seeking to
exalt him from shortcomings and defects, and showing him in the best
way, to be as a model For human perfection.
If that is our view of criticism, and this is our perception of it, we will
not find any problem in accepting the criticism, and seeking through it
to self-reform And developed.
How beautiful is the phrase that says: If you want to avoid criticism,
You do not do anything, say nothing, and be nothing.
As ,the one to whom criticism is directed, better to accept it with
satisfy mind and with thought well, it is also appropriate for those
who criticize other, to aware that the criticism is heavy on the soul,
whatever the motive, so, they should criticism the other kindly, avoiding
embarrassing and hurting them.
In order to get the good results of the criticism, one must know that it
is bitter, so It should be in a beautiful way.
We have a good example in the biography of the Messenger of God,
may God bless him and grant him peace.
He said, as narrated by Al-Bukhari Salim bin ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar bin
Al-Khattab (May Allah be pleased with them) reported, on the authority
of his father, that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “What an
excellent man ‘Abdullah is! If only he could perform optional prayers at
night.” Salim said that after this, (his father) ‘Abdullah slept very little
at night. (65).
He, may God bless him and grant him peace, placed criticism as
exception, as if he said: Abdullah has many good qualities that are
difficult to quantify but, I blamed him for not pray (Nafeila: which is
rather than the obligated prayers) at evening, if he had prayed at
evening, he would have been (a good man), so you, husband, and wife,
can both took this prophetic approach in criticizing each other.
As if he says: (How wonderful your cooking - even if it needs to a
pinch of salt - my most skilled cooker), and She says: (How wonderful
my love - if you bought the most wonderful perfumes - Oh, the most
wonderful person).
Let the criticism focus on the action not on the person.
Whisper: By not accepting criticism, we will not be able to prevent
others from criticism us, but we deny ourselves the opportunity to
benefit from it.

«Criticism is like rain, it should

be little and suitable to
feed human growth without
destroying its roots.».
Frank Clark.
Reception Art
The moment of the meeting between the spouses is what
will build the minutes or the hours on that follow. The moment
that when the husband receives his wife after coming from her
family’s house, or the wife receives her husband when he came
back from work, this moment, if the meeting and the reception
was with a gentle word, a nice phrase, and a beautiful smile,
it indicated to the warmth meeting and love hearts, but If the
meeting was with non-emotional words, or with angry face,
it predicted to unpleasantness and happiness feeling of this
reception and meeting.
The reaction of both of these actions will be similar, which leads

to increased familiarity in the first case, and more distantness
and disagreement in the second case.
If we know that reception has arts, it would be nice to attempt

for mastering and translating it into a practical reality to increase
our marital relationship.

If you received him/her, you would
receive cheerfulness and dew
He/she always smiles, and has a
history
Sense of Responsibility..
The marital relationship includes a number of responsibilities divided
between spouses, and each one of them feels responsible for that, It
would strengthens their relationship, and create environment of love
and agreement in their lives, and the opposite if any of the spouses
negligees in anything of his responsibilities.
There are many examples of negligence in this regard, and everyone

knows his condition. But I mention some them, for example:
The husband comes home at his usual time and finds his wife asleep!
The husband comes from work, he used to eat lunch and then he
takes a rest, after that he is surprised that lunch is not prepared and
this is repeated without justification!.
The wife informs her husband that the gas cylinder is empty, and he
delayed in replacing it !.
The husband goes on a trip with his mates, leaving his sick wife alone
at home!.
One of the husband’s colleagues calls him at home in the afternoon

and calls him to share lunch with some of the classmates, this couple
is sufficient by telling his wife that he will not have lunch with them;
Because he will go to his mate, while the wife had prepared lunch!
Sorry, some of people may think that these pictures are not worth
mentioning and that they are easy matters, but I see totally different.

«A lazy person is like stagnant water, they are both hated»

a French Proverb.
Talents Investment
Is one of you, a poet, the owner of a golden voice, writer,
calligrapher, painter, designer, or at least has a gentle literary
phrase?
If yes .. did you use this talent to express about your love,
loyalty and happiness in closing to each other.
It’s an effort that doesn’t cost time, but it takes heart.
The poet Ali Al-Jarim said:
Poetry is a storm that leads a storm
And an idea shown itself among thoughts
Poetry, if it touches spirits, ignite them
As a current meets a current
Poetry is song that artist sends it
To the hearts, and they will live after the thirst

It doesn't hurt me if I haven't

crown in my head as long as I
have pen in my hands.
(Voltaire)
Saying softly!
Do you raise your voice to him or at him?
One of the beauty and attractiveness of a woman is her quiet

and golden voice, so if she do not have quiet and golden voice,
she lost hers beauty. Thus, God Almighty said: (Do not be soft
in speech(to men), lest he in whose heart is disease should
covet) (32).
It is unhappy for the case of women who speak softly with

those who are not permitted to them, and they do not speak
softly to those who are the saying softly to him is the happiness
of this world, and the successful in the hereafter, God willing.
I hope that the husband does not need to put cotton in his
ears.
Some husbands do not hear his wife’s softly speech, his

attractive style and the art of talking and dialogue and
its attractive only when he hears her talking to one of her
colleagues or relatives.
And you, husband, I am addressing you with what I addressed

the wife, and I invite you to a good and kind saying to all people
as well as those closest to them.
Al-Dayan Bin Qatan Al-Harthy recommended his daughter,

and said: (my daughter, you should not rise
Your voice above the voice of your husband, and not your
attention over his attention.

«A woman's genius is at her heart»

Socrates
Be gentle with ladies
Dear husband ... your wife may get angry one day and raise her voice
at you, or she says something that does not satisfy you, so be patient,
accept that from her, and let her talks about her inside, she only has her
tongue. So, she cannot beat you, divorce you, take you out of the house
because it is your home. Also, the stewardship (the high responsible)
for you.
And you do not suppress her, so the suppressing of her may cause her
mental illnesses, or it was a motivation for her to search for someone
who listened to her concerns, even if it was with a forbidden way.
Then, the wife! Who is searching for happiness, when I recommend the
husband for that, you should not understand that this is permission for
you to do so and agreement for you, but I warn you about it, as I cannot
guarantee you about the end. Know - and your husband also know -
that the gentleness will give value in anything, and this is not news from
me, but news and a promise from beloved, may God bless him and
grant him peace. It was narrated that Aisha, may God be pleased with
her said; The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Whenever forbearance is added to
something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something,
it leaves it defective.” (67).
He, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: ( act kindly towards
women.) Narrated by him Muslim.
Professor Nadia Mansour attracted attention to the matter by saying

“The man mistakenly thinks that courtship with his wife is a kind of
weakness, and the mercy will spoils her, and reduces of factors that
control of her.

«Neglect style is a psychological crisis for the wife

and she interpreted as a refused by her husband,
reduced of hers importance, and doubted in hers
capabilities and beauty, even in her femininity»
Nadia Mansour.
Each one has its own privacy ...
Each of the spouses has its own privacy, and any one seeks to reveal
the privacy of the other are often disastrous end.
The blameworthy endeavor is to reveal these privacy in many types

such as espionage and snooping. So, the spouse is spying on the other’s
calls, and access to his private papers, and e-mails, mobile messages,
and his sessions with his relatives and friends.
He, who is spying, often puts things down in the worst case, then
he cannot check the truthfulness of his interpretation or not, because
he often does not like inform the other party that he know this secret,
even if he dares to inform other, often it will be a nail in the coffin of the
relationship and a mattock on destroyed the love that they built.
Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) as saying.” Don’t

nurse malice against one another, don’t nurse aversion against one
another and don’t be inquisitive about one another and don’t outbid
one another”. (68), and his saying (PBUH) - Ibn ‘Abbas (May Allah be
pleased with them) said; The Prophet (PBUH) said; “He who seeks to
listen to the talk of a people (secretly) will have molten lead poured into
his ears on the Day of Resurrection.” (69).
The interpretation of hadith said “espionage” is the search for shame

and sins. “Fumbling” is a person’s request to know the news and
conditions that are absent from him.
Imam Al-Awza’i said: Espionage is to search for something and

Fumbling is listening to the speech of the people while they hate him
or he listen at their doors

Abu Hurairah (RAA) narrated that the Messenger
of Allah (PBUH) said:
«A sign of man's good observance of Islam (his
piety) is to keep away from that which does not
concern him.»
Related by At-Tirmidhi who graded it
as Hadith Hasan.
The happiness cannot obtained by recompenses
He who is not giving unless he is given and is not charitable

unless he gets a charitable from other, he is not happy in his life.
The neglect of either spouse should not be a reason for

neglect the other, because God Almighty says “Repel (evil)
by that (deed) which is better; and thereupon, the one whom
between you and him is enmity (will become) as though he
was a devoted friend. (70), so he did not order us to return the
deadlock Two stunted - as it is said.
And Abdullah bin Amr, may God be pleased with them,

narrated that the Messenger of God prayed God be upon him
and said “ The person who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship
is not the one who does it because he gets recompensed by his
relatives (for being kind and good to them), but the one who
truly maintains the bonds of kinship is the one who persists in
doing so even though the latter has severed the ties of kinship
with him”. [Al-Bukhari]. (71).
So let both the husband and the wife to improve, even if they
do not find this effect immediately, so the good deed is rain,
and the rain hastens its fruits in ears and is late in others, there
are few ears where there is no fruits by rain.
The giving has a delight. If those takers have tasted it, they
would have started to giving, and they do not busy themselves
with what they are in.

(The most generous people who gives

whom deprived,And the most forgiver
people who pardon whom wronged him)
Omar bin Al-Khattab, may God be
pleased with him
Donot break his pride
O blessed wife, you can win your husband’s affection by taking
into account his financial circumstances. When your children ask for
something you think it is difficult for your husband to buy, or until you
see that he wants to buy something as he knows what you like
and what his children like to buy. So, you say to him” You did not let
us down one day and you will not regarding buying something, whether
for me or for children, but my dear, we do not need this thing now. By
this, he will know implicitly that what prompted you to do that is your
kindness to him, even if he did not feel that, but, Allah knows, and he
will make love for you in his heart just as you did and more. This will
actually bring and spread happiness between you.
O wife, beware of saying “there is no need to buy this thing or we

will not buy this thing because your financial situation is not tolerable”.
Some of these expressions, although you intended savings, but the

Satan may suggest to the husband that he is stingy.
Likewise, when you want to buy something, on your own money for
him or your house, beware of making him feel sooner or later that your
action came as a help to him and an appreciation of his need for help.
Rather, you say “I know that you do not need my money, but I want to
share with you this credit and give back something, but I cannot reward
you for that.
You will lose nothing with this phrase. Rather, you will gain, by time,
what you hope, in terms of achieving happiness and bringing affection.

«The arrow enters the body, but the insult

pierces the soul.»
Baltastar Gratian
Have a good thought on him/her
On the authority of Abu Huraira (RAA), that Allah’s Messenger
(peace and prayers be upon him) said, “Allah said, ‘I am to my
slave as he thinks of Me, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he
thinks I can do for him). (73)
When we think well of God in everything, he will fix our affairs,

including our marital life. The husband and wife, if they think
God is good and that he will make them happy in their lives,
then we thought that God Almighty the Most Generous would
bring them happiness and this is a divine promise, as in the
aforementioned hadith.
Mistrust/ bad thought is indoctrinated by Satan, and well

thought was instructed by Allah, the Almighty, Satan threatens
you with poverty and orders you to immorality, while Allah
promises you forgiveness from Him and bounty. And Allah is
all-Encompassing and Knowing.” (73).
As for despair, it is, as Amin al-Rihani said: Despair is an easy

road that only the disabled can take.

Do not despair of a severe breakthrough

It may evaporate the deepening,
which are hardships.
How distress I have sworn not to pass
It disappeared and was released by
the One, Al-Jaleel (Allah)
(Saleh Abdul Quddus)
Halal Morsel
On the authority of Sa’d b. Abi Waqqas),that the messenger of Allah,
peace and prayers be upon him you would never incur an expense
seeking therewith the pleasure of Allah, but you would be rewarded
therefor, even for a morsel of food that you put in the mouth of your
wife.(74)
Ka’b bin Ujrah narrated:
“The Messenger of Allah said to me “O Ka’b bin Ujrah! There is no

flesh raised that sprouts from the unlawful except that the Fire is more
appropriate for it.’(75).
The fire will catch him because this unlawful will affect his worship,
and his morals.
Al-Hasan Al-Basri, may Allah have mercy on him, said: I stood on

a bazaz (fabric marchent) in Mecca to buy a dress from him, and he
praised and swore, so I left him, and I said to him It is not necessary
to buy from someone like him, and I bought from someone else, then
I performed Hajj two years later, and I stood on him and I did not hear
him swear, so I said to him: Are you not the man I met years ago? He
said: Yes. I said to him: What has brought you here? I do not see you
praise or swear!! He said: I had a woman if you brought her with a little,
I would give it, and if I brought her a lot, I reduced it, then God killed
her, then I married a woman after that. With something I mean you in
our spindle).
Let us be lawful, so that our situation improves, and we will be happy

in the end, by Allah willing.

From the comprehensive supplications, :

“Oh Allah, I ask you for a good provision.”
Purify to You..
All what purifies souls shall absolutely bring happiness, and if
the promise of purifying soul comes from its creator (Allah), so it is
unfairness and loss that not to strive to fulfill what brings happiness and
purifies souls.
O spouses, by turning a blind eye against what Allah has forbidden,

pure for souls, and whoever does not turn a blind eye against what
Allah has forbidden is deprived of contentment in what Allah has given
him, a husband or wife. This has a great impact on the diminution of
the tendencies to the partner as a husband or wife, and the lack of
happiness in his dealings and his companionship.
Allah says {Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision[1]
and guard their private parts.[2] That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is
[fully] Aware of what they do}.(76) in the other verse, Allahy says {And
tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision[1] and guard
their private parts and not expose their adornment} (77) .
If any of the spouses gives his gaze on other rather than wife/husband,
then by time, the partner will lose sight of the other partner, lose
enjoyment with him/her, and look at someone rather than the partner.
The poet did well when he said:
when you have sent your eye
as a leader for your heart
You have seen that not all you are able to see
nor behalf of some of it, you are patient
which means in last verse, Your eyes were the cause of falling your
heart into confusion of passion and heartburn
Ibrahim bin Adham (RAA) said the more you stare, the more you get
regretted.

The best for a woman not to see men,

neither they do so.
Fatima bint Muhammad (RAA)
Seize your husband›s heart
The wife’s care for her beauty and her adornment in front of
her husband is one of the pillars of marital happiness, and the
need for the wife to take care of her adornment in front of her
husband increases, especially in times and places where she
fears the husband’s temptation due to the presence of women
who are visibly displaying their charms and adornment.
Many wives neglect this matter, especially while their traveling.

What could be the reason for some husbands to be infatuated by
other than their wives, and perhaps they are less beautiful than
their wives, but they have won and succeed in beautification
and care, so, wife, you should protect your husband, take care
of yourself, and the speech here is addressed the husband as
well.
Jabir reported that Allah’s Messenger (peace and prayers be

upon him) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as
she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her.
He then went to his Companions and told them: The woman
advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you
sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel
what he feels in his heart. (78).
The meaning (tanning a leather) as stated by linguistics means

tanning is rubbed and the spinach is the first thing to be put
into tanner.

Duties that should not distract the wife from an important:

“Once a woman get married, she usually neglects herself as a
sweetheart; she indulges in work, care with children, looking
after the house, and being neglected her husband. Because that,
it is may be a major reason for the possibility of her husband is
attracted by another woman! So, you have to beware entering in
free circle but you should care with your husband to be attracted
by you all the time.entering in free circle but you should care with
your husband to be attracted by you all the time.”
Sunrise Gate newspaper

Willingly deals
The marital contract is one of the greatest contracts and
the most deserving of fulfillment, then either keep (her) in an
acceptable manner or release (her) with good treatment. And
both husband and wife have to request any condition that is not
forbidden, and the other party must fulfill with this condition.
I will not talk about someone who does not fulfill these
conditions, as he has been wronged, transgressed, and
committed a great crime, whether he was a husband or wife.
Here, the talking about who fulfills the conditions, but this
fulfillment is followed with unlawful (to show a favor) and harm,
whoever does that takes away the happiness in this world, and
he is afraid that God will punish him for that, sooner or later, if
he does not repent so.
Fulfill the contracts with willingly, so the poorest morals are

unlawful of the duty.
The speech here is directed to the husband and wife.
Uqba bin Amer, may God be pleased with him said; that
the Messenger of God, may God bless him and peace be
upon him said “The most worthy conditions to be fulfilled
are those by which you make sexual intercourse lawful for
yourselves (in marriage).” (79)

It is narrated on the authority of Abu Dharr who narrates
that the Prophet (PBUH) said with whom Allah would
not speak on the Day of Resurrection» and mentioned
one of them «the bestower of gift who does not give
anything but by laying obligation on him».
narrated by Muslim
Significant desires
As long as the spouses need emotional gratification in their marital
life, they still need Instinctive physical gratification. You may be
surprised if I told you that one of the studies (80) concluded that
seventy percent of marital problems are caused by a real problem
in the private marital relationship, the relationship in bed, but it is
often encapsulated in the allegation of other problems, either
embarrassment in stating the real cause, or a lack of awareness.
(speech here addressed both married spouses)
This is only for reference, and I may cite in more detail on this subject
– by Allah willing – the book title is “spouses in bedroom”, I seek from
Allah to facilitate its completion and correctness.
Professor Nabil Muhammad Mahmoud says: “Psychological studies

have proven that the relationship between spouses is more stable,
calm and happy if sexual compatibility between them met. Because
the sexual relationship by its nature is a source of euphoria and
pleasure as it satisfies an urgent need for both men and women,
meanwhile, the disturbance of satisfying this desire for a long time
causes psychological tension and alienation between spouses, the why
that many specialists have searched behind every failed marriage due
to a disorder of this Type”.

“The private marital relationship is still the

most difficult area in which the spouses can
discuss. British Psychologist says “If the Human
Relationship between spouses is unhappy, then the
marital relationship is an honest mirror”.
Mr. Buthaina Al-Iraqi
The greatest means
On the authority of Abu Hurairah (RAA):
When the Prophet (peace and prayers be upon him)

congratulated a man on his marriage, he said: May Allah bless
for you, and may He bless on you, and combine both of you in
good (works)(82).
Many husbands and wives who are about to get married, are
so keen on supplication, and they even demand those who love
to pray for them for success in their marital relationship. This is
a good thing, and how many prayers Allah bestowed upon two
married spouses, but what I want to point out here is concerning
about supplication before getting married, thus, they should
not to neglect supplication after marriage and they should
as well investigate that times, places and conditions in which
supplication might be accepted by Allah. Such occasions which
may more likely be answered and accepted by Allah includes,
fasting, when breaking the fast, while raveling, in prostration,
after following the muezzin, and in the last third time of night,
at the Friday hour, and as soon as the pilgrim stood in Arafah,
and when food and drinks obtained by Halal..
On the authority of Abu Hurairah, that the messenger of Allah

(peace and prayers be upon him) said: ‘O you Messengers!
Eat of the good things and do righteous deeds. Verily I am
well acquainted with what you do (23:51).’ And He said: ‘O
you who believe! Eat from the good things We have provided
you (2:172).’ He said: “And he mentioned a man: ‘Who is
undertaking a long journey, whose hair is dishevelled and he is
covered with dust. He raises his hands to the heavens and says:
“O Lord! O Lord!” Yet his food is from the unlawful, his drink is
from the unlawful, his clothing is from the unlawful, and he was
nourished by the unlawful. So how can that be accepted?’” (83).
Supplication is one of the greatest, most important and

powerful means of fulfillment
marital happiness.

Allah, the Al-Mighty, says {And when My servants ask

you, [O Muúammad], concerning Me – indeed I am
near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant
when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me
[by obedience] and believe in Me that they
may be [rightly] guided}.)
Fire burns relationships
The marital relationship is a deeply rooted and extended. The

marital relationship is rooted till the privacies of spouse. Therefore, it
is normally to be exposed to neglect and shortcomings, and it is not
strange that it arises dispute.‬
The dispute should not exceed the limits of ethics, nor jump the walls
of rights.‪.‬
But a group of people overtook, but regretted; another overtook, but

lost.‬
When a partner overrides what it deems to be his/her right, then he/

she turns into aggressor after he was an owner of right.
You ask these people and you find that anger and excitements led to
overtake and assault, and perhaps the reason for their loss to the other
p a r t n e r.‪.‬
Wisdom says: “Nobody gets angry without reason, but rarely the
reason is right”
Controlling anger is a legitimate duty, a feature of moral perfection in

which each of us should possess, especially when it related to whom we
connect with as a marital relationship.
All are agreed on importance of that, but the disagreement between

us is in application.
Some have a belief that they cannot control themselves. Someone

may say “I swiftly get nervous and the other partner should forgive me
in this matter”, but you find him controlling his emotions when it comes
to an officer and seeks an interest from him, or another who fears his
cruelty, or even a madman who is afraid of indiscretion.
Thus, the control is possible, and it is related to the idea of fear and
hope, so if we are afraid of someone or need his help, we become able
to control the anger and our actions.
we do that in our marital relationships? The answer

is yes, when our level of fear and hope rises, fearing
punishment of Allah when we get wrongful, and we
hope his reward and forgiveness and to protect Can we

Can we do that in our marital relationships? The answer is

yes, when our level of fear and hope rises, fearing punishment
of Allah when we get wrongful, and we hope his reward
and forgiveness and to protect our relationship, then our
controlling our behaviors is possible, but with hardship, then it
becomes easy with success and trail.
When I say that, it does not mean assuming no excitement

and anger, but the mistake being in repetitive behavior, and
a necessary characteristic, a permanent character, and always
remember the wisdom that says: «If you get angry for a simple
reason, this gives an impression of your brain size.!. “
A man came to the Prophet Mohammed, may Allah bless him

and grant him peace, and said “advise me, he said “Don’t be
angry,” he repeated repeatedly, saying, “Don’t be angry. «
Finally, the angry person is deceived by the strength

of his emotion, and forgets that it is an expression of
weakness of self-controlling.
Move your eyes around
He called the family advisor and said “ I am thinking of divorcing my
wife”. When the advisor asked him: Why?, he replied that he did not
like her shape. During their conversation it was revealed to the advisor
that the husband had focused on a small formality, neglecting great
merits in her creation, and many features in her morals.
This case and alike, are repeated to advisors by husbands and wives,
and the worst when this matter reaches to divorce with no consultation
of someone.
In such issue, one of partners of marital relationship focuses on
a simple shortcoming at the other partner, so the matter becomes
somewhat bigger in partner’s mind until he/she forgets many of the
good features.
This problem has several causes, one of which is perhaps the frequent
hearing of this disliked feature, which is repeated on ears of husband or
wife while talking with a relative or friend.
As well as, destroying the marital relationship is one of the biggest
objective of Satan/Iblis. On the authority of Jabir reported the
messenger of Allah as saying, “Iblis sets his throne on the water, then
sends forth his detachments to tempt mankind, the one who is nearest
him in station being the one who can cause the severest temptation.
One of them comes and says, ‘I have done such and such,’ but he
replies, ‘You have done nothing.’ Then one of them comes and says;
‘I did not leave him till I separated him from his wife.’ He then brings
him near to himself saying, ‘What a fine fellow you are!’ ” A’mash said
he thought he said, “Then he embraces him.”Of him the status of the
So, if the Iblis does not find a problem through which the spouses are
separated, he baptizes to a slight defect, and a minor deficiency in the
husband or wife, so Iblis keeps the other partner busy with this matter,
so that partner keeps thinking and preoccupied with it and does not
look at the positives of the other partner until he/she becomes a small
piece was placed in front of his/her eye and blinded him/ her to see
the sky.
Satan still blinds us, so that we can’t see our faults, and the good
qualities of our husbands, and reminds us of advantages and
disadvantages of our husbands until he achieves his target, or we keep
continue fighting him (Iblis).
Therefore, we should focus on the good part of our partners. On the
authority of Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
Messenger of Allah (peace and prayers be upon him) said, “A believer
must not hate (his wife) believing woman; if he dislikes one of her
characteristics he will be pleased with another”.

If a cooker focused on smell of onion, he

would deprive guests from its nice flavor of
food, but he looked at each advantage and
disadvantage in rate
Relationship vital
The husband says “ I can’t understand her, and the wife says “ I don’t
understand him”, then when you ask both, you find that they do not sit
together, not to talk to each other, they just meet at meal table, and
they do not have conversation, but only if there is a problem, so souls
are hateful and sounds are loud.
Certainly, none of you (spouses) will understand each other as long

as the conversation between you is disable, and the positive dialogue
not existed, so it is not strange that the relationship continues for years
without understanding each other.
When bridges of positive dialogue are available between the spouses,

each of them understands the other, knows what hurts the other to
avoid it, suffices to complain to the other partner, not to the other
people, as long as that partner finds an ear to listen and a heart to hug.
The concept of dialogue is not limited to discussing problems, nor to

talking about the family’s goals and projects, nor feelings of gratitude
towards a favor offered by a partner, nor to spend nights remembering
their most beautiful days, but it includes all these matters, praise,
reproach, memories, projects, and peace.
Dialogue between spouses is a self-goal, regardless its topics, as

it shows both of you the nature character of the other, and it is an
opportunity to entertain the soul. It is beautiful paintings to stick on
walls of the marital relationship, so each other feels the interest of the
other partner concern for him.
The dialogue is a safety valve of marital relationship. It enables you

to know your partner and to have his/her heart key. It gives you a short
way to solve the problems emerged.

«Mix your speech with normal fun, not

to be stagy in making fun».
Dale Carnegie.
Let’s make the dialogue successful
The dialogue will not be fruitful unless the souls are ready for it
though choosing the proper time. It is not appropriate for us to
discuss problems after one of us returns from his work, nor when he is
preparing for leaving, or his mind is busy with something, his thinking is
confused. Even the times of amiability and frolicsome should be done
in appropriate time.
The discussion will not be fruited If we are nervous, angry or crying,

rather we should be in a condition of calmness. Once we find that the
discussion became sensitive and the voice rises, then let us stop it,
and let each of us say to the other” my relationship with you is more
important than this discussion”, so let us postpone the discussion for
another time”.
Dialogue does not imply that we should abide to the opinion of the
other, but the husband has the right to bind wife to what he sees in
terms of general interest unless that opinion leads to disobey due his
stewardship to the wife.
Do not make the bedroom a place for discussion your problems, so

that it does not turn into an arena of conflict, or a courtroom.
Do not interpret attitudes and words negatively, just because you

both think so. If we did not get a good behavior, then let us ask the
other party about his/her intention, it may become clear to us other
than what we thought. Why when someone says to the other (you
mean...) the intention is nothing but bad?!
If you get some notes related to you by the other partner, do not give
him/her any note in return, but discuss the topic based in his/her notes,
accept them in a welcome manner, and postpone your notes for days or
weeks, so that the session not to be an exchange of accusations.
What encourages the other partner to continue in the dialogue

sessions is that my words be kind and selected, that I should be a
good listener, and not interrupt his/her speech, nor to excuse talking
about him/her, respect him/her and his/her opinion, even if I disagree
with him/her.

«When you get into a discussion, keep cool
and don’t be nervous. As for your reasoning, if
it is sound, it will take care of itself.»
Joseph Farrell.
Why husbands keep silent?!!
Wives complain of their husbands’ silence, and by the way, this
problem is not local. A report by the German magazine “Ponte”
indicates that nine out of ten women have suffered from silence of their
husbands, and the lack of feelings among spouses for more than five
years.
The one who is looking for a solution to this problem is the wife in
usual as she being the affected partner. Therefore, my message here
will be directed to her, since her motivation for the solution is supposed
to be greater than that of the husband as he may not find a problem
in his silence, but he may have seen that comfort or a solution. So, if
she represents “spoke so that I could see you,” then he may represent
“if speech is silver, silence is gold.” The most harmful to her of his
silence is that she sees that as an expression of rejection and lack of
acceptance. Whereas, it may be a personal trait that is inherent in him
even among his family and among his colleagues and neighbors. Here,
the wife should understand that and accepts it. As for a man, his nature
in speech is less than the woman, and he consumes most of his daily
words during work, in a time you note that some of women are waiting
for husbands return from their work and they (wives) did not consume
anything of the words at the day which estimated at three times of the
men words.
A husband prefers to keep silent because he spoke something to her,

then the wife has reported that to one of her relatives or colleagues,
so he preferred silence to preserve his privacy and secrets. Some of
them resort to silence to escape from a conversation which may turns
into an argument and anger, so one of them (husbands) says: If I
make a small remark, she change the topic, get nervous, and others
avoid the conversation with them, because their conversation is just
complaining or bad news!. The more fear and stubbornness the more
that wife pushes him to keep silent, while her response to him, respect
him, and her good dialogue with him are things that push him to talk
and abandon silence. Therefore, if you (wife) like him to speak, do not
interrupt him while talking, and do not underestimate his views and
interests. She makes a mistake when she wants her husband to speak
as she speaks with her friend, because the man is not like the woman.
Two women meet in the neighborhood clinic in a fleeting meeting,
and there they spent more time talking to each other more than the
talk between their husbands who meet every day Five times in the
neighborhood mosque, so you (wife) should appreciate the nature of
the man in this matter.

Misconceptions about
life partner's silence::
He does not like to talk to me.
I feel like I'm not welcomed to him.
It is difficult for our relationship to continue.
The problem is greater than silence.

Motivate him to speak out
Your thanking him for a short time, talking to each other,
motivates him for more than repeating his blame for silence.
But your underestimation of his interests, and your frequent
criticism on him, makes silence a comfortable option for him.
As well, choosing the right time to talk to him may protect the
house from the husband’s silence, and he will not intercede for
her as she is being at the height of the euphoria of dialogue and
conversation when he comes back from work as he is exhausted
and unprepared to talk.
The routine in marital life and the life spouses in general leads
to silence and innovations of the wife in marital life, in her
home, and in the food that she provides, may be the core of a
conversation that kills the silence.
Talk to him about his interests, within scope he likes as he is a

good at talking about. Do you not see that the old woman who
only talks a little? When I was asked about her past days and
memories of her youth, she started talking.
Do not tell him “You are very silent, then he will respond to
you” You are talkative” or “the discussion with you is useless”,
but you should tempt him with nice words and prepare the
reasons for that.

Dr. Sri Nasser advises the wife, when

her husband is silent and wants to speak,
not to frustrate him with questions,
but rather, to talk about a topic he loves
in a smooth and soft way, and he will
respond to her.
Before I say
goodbye
My warmest thanks to you for your trust and

your acquisition of this book, and then read
it, hoping that I have added something new.
I am also pleased with your additions, and I
illuminate by your remarks on this topic and
other topics that are under preparation. I
seek from Allah to facilitate finishing them
completely, which are represented as follows:
1. The spouses in the bedroom.
2. The road to marriage.
3. Family Pulse.
My best regards

Content Table
No happiness for those Leave what cannot be
after marriage .........................................................10 changed.....................................................................82
Between rights and duties......................................12 Do not be stingy, nor squander
A man and a woman..............................................14 in alimony................................................................84
Frankness between spouses...................................16 The beloved names to him.....................................86
Another type of message........................................18 You, Me and no one else........................................88
I did a mistake...forgive me! .................................20 Why do we travel?! ................................................90
Reproach of lovers...................................................92
The most beautify apology.....................................22
Great letters..............................................................94
Locks and Keys........................................................24 Clarify the causes of reproach ..............................96
Read Lines................................................................26 Children are not a problem ..................................98
Kindness and selfishness........................................28 Play together..........................................................100
Share her …. And share him.................................30 All Praise be to Allah............................................102
Relatives are the closet to you...............................32 Eyes language.........................................................104
Joys and Sorrows.....................................................34 Keep in touch in absence of
On Eid occasion, … body.........................................................................106
where are you?.........................................................77 Listen to each other..............................................108
skills and means......................................................36 The long abandonment creates
Get a life and happiness.........................................38 carelessness.............................................................110
It captures hearts...................................................112
Trivialities can›t make a victory............................40
Keep your desires..................................................114
Tell the truth............................................................42 Be friends...............................................................116
News can’t be awaited.............................................44 Nose, sometimes, hates before
A part of me.............................................................46 heart........................................................................118
Physical rapprochement.........................................48 Do you like criticism?...........................................120
Bank of Love............................................................50 Reception Art .......................................................122
Deep wound:............................................................52 Sense of Responsibility.........................................124
Means of positive discharge Talents Investment................................................126
of anger:....................................................................53 Saying softly!..........................................................128
False idealism:..........................................................54 Be gentle with ladies.............................................130
Each one has its own privacy..............................132
Strengthen these traits:...........................................56
The happiness cannot obtained
Immerse troubles in
by recompenses.....................................................134
good deeds› sea!......................................................58 Don›t break his pride...........................................136
Written messages: ...................................................60 Have a good thought on
Psychological pressure ...........................................62 him/her...................................................................138
After work................................................................64 Halal Morsel...........................................................140
It is a half of the truth............................................66 Purify to You..........................................................142
As a matter of telling .............................................68 Seize your husband›s heart..................................144
Thanks for duty ......................................................70 Willingly deals ......................................................146
The Sacrifice... and the Significant desires..................................................148
partner......................................................................72 The greatest means................................................150
Fire burns relationships........................................152
In order not to
Move your eyes around .......................................154
widen the gap...........................................................74
Relationship vital...................................................156
At the market...........................................................76 Let’s make the dialogue
Going around...........................................................78 successful................................................................158
Your opinion means Why husbands keep silent?!!...............................160
a lot to me................................................................80 Motivate him to speak out...................................162

Happy with your
communication
+966(551331000)
ALQARAAWY@GMAIL.COM

Write down your ideas and take advantage of them





If you have gone through the previous editions of this book, I am grateful
to you, appreciate your trust and kindness to reading that edition, wishing
you to be pleased by these amendments you will notice in the edition 4.
Regarding the new readers of this edition, I am so pleased to get their trust,
and I am optimistic that additions and amendments will be as beautiful
as beauty of their souls. I promise them that this book will not be missed
at all, but rather they will remember it as long as someone suggests a
suitable book for spouses recently married, or for those who spent years
in their marital life. It does not mean that this a magic book, but rather
because it relied on what is possible to be achieved, so there is no magic or
superstations with this book as it has adopted what is real and neutral. This
book is not to be partial to one spouse in account of another.
The author
This book, which is in our hands, belongs to an expert of husbands›
conditions closely and based books. This expert is specialist with well-
known of marriage provisions for those who have consulted and requested,
and advice-giver in field of guidance and reform for those who have
suffered and get tired.
In this book, I liked the horizon broad, the diversity of knowledge spectrums,
and the exploration of marital life corners. It is a guide and set a roadmap
for those who want to build their marriage on realistic scientific principles.
Dr. Ibrahim Mohammed Al-Khulaifi

Family Education Consultant and the
psychology of educational development.
The book is available electronically

In two languages, Arabic and English

Spouses in Tent of Happiness

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Spouses in Tent of Happiness

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

First edition

Abdulrahman bin Abdullah Al-Qarawi

4 Spouses in tent of happines

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH

A family consultant in the Development Association

Consultant and trainer in family dialogue, certified

A member in the Social Protection Committee at

A trainer for youth who are about to get married, in

A guest and participant in a number of TV episodes in

One of the participants in the workshop organized

A writer of dozens articles on family issues.

Obtained an international training license from the

6 Spouses in tent of happines

I am surprised of passing nine years since the publication of the

Marital life is a status of a complete harmony of organic and psychological

Dr. Ibrahim Mohammed Al-Khulaifi

Family Education Consultant and the

8 Spouses in tent of happines

When we talk about family aspects, it should not be an imperative or

Khalid Bin Ibrahim Al-Saqa’aby

Family trainer and consultant, director of the family development center,

(spouses in tent of happiness) is a delicious meal that combines

Prof. Ali bin Ibrahim Al-Zahrani

The consultant of educational and family at the Charitable Association

Dr. Omar bin Ibrahim Al-Mudhayfer

Consultant of Psych-pediatric & adolescent and Family treatment

Dr.Yahya bin Ibrahim Al Yahya

10 Spouses in tent of happines

«Spouses in tent of happiness»

When a young man or a girl lives before marriage in a dream

14 Spouses in tent of happines

Marriage cannot be a paradise unless

16 Spouses in tent of happines

«They (spouses) should get

Today, our kids get this concept

Dr. Ibrahim Al-Khalifi

18 Spouses in tent of happines

(And the male is not like the female)

Al-Imran Verse (36)

If it is known that moderate frankness will remove the heartfelt

Frankness should be represented by politeness and love

The more spontaneous these words, the more eloquent and

20 Spouses in tent of happines

«The best thing for marital life is the

Dr. Ibrahim Al-Khulaifi

22 Spouses in tent of happines

If you have received a gift

But the problem here is when one of spouses realizes that

Dear spouses, Imagine...!! that someone did something

it was said that a relationship which comes after a problem

I would remind wives that some husbands are not good in

24 Spouses in tent of happines

We demand the sinner to confess the mistake. We say to the

So, let’s accept apology with a nice smile and a good

Have you tested the effect of apology on yourself?

Someone tested an apology, he said, I was afraid that I would

The poet Mustafa Al-Ghalayini said: Forgive your friend; if slip

Forgive generously, so that you find impact returns to you.

Abu Hatim Al-Sabti says “Whoever confesses to the misstep

Because that pardon for the misstep requires absorbing the

26 Spouses in tent of happines

If you want to live happy even for a

Spouse, as well, strives to know what he/she hates, to avoid

it is nice to tell each other what we like and dislike, such as