8NC Sep Final V

While exercise is thought to be good for the health, recent exercise trends have shown that the opposite
of this belief
may also be true. There has been a growing popular that too much exercise can also be bad for one's health. I totally
agree that too much exercise could have negative effects on health. I will discuss my reasons for supporting this belief
in the following paragraphs.
First, too much exercises have negative impact on their physic health. By exercising, your body is continuously
working out to demand the body's need, this is why people usually breath really fast and their hearts beat really fast
after exercise. Because of this reason, human bodies have limitations when it comes to working out. When working
out too hard, their bodies work even harder and harder and it will come to a time when it when your organs won't
respond anymore and can cause negative effects. By doing this, it can bring on heart diseases, muscles problems,
etc.
Furthermore, the problem is not only badly impact on physic health but also possible cause serious mental health
problems. For instance,by being exhausted from working out to hard, people will lose motivation to run their daily life
or having worse productivity when it comes to other activities. This mean that, daily life would certainly decline.
Consequently, too much exercises can waste people's time and excessive consumption of one's energy, which can
contribute to a poor health.
To conclude this essay it is important to take note of the fact that the evidence previously presented in this essay
strongly supports the discussion that too much exercise can be bad for people's health.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using contractions, abbreviations, and the 2nd person voice.
- You need to come up with stronger arguments and provide more specific supporting information.
- Make sure to carefully proofread your writing. There are several basic spelling and grammar errors.
Task Response 2, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
5
Phạm Lê Tân
In the today's world, thanks to the advances in science and technology, people are easier to improve their health
through exercises and diets. In spite of that, some people assert that doing too much physical exercise is actually
harmful to our health. I totally agree with this statement for the following reasons.
The first point is if you do too much physical exercises, your physical strength will be severely damaged. When you
practice too much continously, your muscles and organs that maintain your fitness will be overloaded, leading to
serious to mild injuries. As a sample, when you do weight training continuously for too long, your muscles will become
unbearable and "torn". This will lead to severe consequences such as pain, not being able to exercise for a long
time,...
Besides physical problems, we will also have mental health problems if we practice too much physical exercise. An
illustration of this is having trouble sleeping. When you are tired, your mind will also be negatively affected leading to
frequent, prolonged insomnia.
It is widely accepted that improve your fitness with bodybuilding exercises is good, doing too much exercises will lead
to severe physical and mental consequences as we have mentioned. Keep your body strong, and your health either.
- You are well under the minimum word count.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using quotation marks, ellipses, and the 1st/2nd person voice.
- You need to develop your arguments more and provide stronger supporting information.
- The writing is confusing and ungrammatical at times.
4
Nguyễn Trung Hiếu

Despite The benefits of doing physical exercises and physical acitivities on a daily basis are immense. But some
people assert that doing too much physical exercise is harmful to our health. In my opinion, I totally agree with the
statement above that doing too much exercises may indeed have bad impact.
First and most important, while doing exercises is good for your health, too much of it can be bad thing. If you keep
doing too much of it, it can backfire you by causing having negative impacts on your health. If the body’s limit is
reached, negative impact will start to appear. When doing exercises, the heart needs to work harder than normal to
circulates blood throughout the body. If the heart reaches its limit and we keep on working too hard, we may have a
heart attack and start a heart disease. Also, over exercising and negative food consumption can lead to poor health,
which is a big issue.
Second, doing too much exercise causes negative impact not only on your physical health but also on your mental
health. For example, some people do too much exercise until they are fully exhausted, they start to have less
motivation in daily life. This is a bad effect, which can lead the decline of productivity in learning new things, working
and doing daily jobs.
In conclusion, while doing exercises are good for your health, overdoing it can lead to negative effects. Keep doing it
in moderation is the best way to deal with the problem. It can still keep the health good and doesn’t have bad impact.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using contractions and the 1st person voice.
- You should come up with stronger arguments and develop them more.
- The writing is wordy and repetitive at times.
Task Response 1.5, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
5
Đặng Minh Hoàng

Although It is widely believed that exercise is good for health, but too many exercises for oneself might not be as good
as it is thought. In my point of view, I totally agree with the statement, and this essay I will point out and discuss why I
agree with it.
First of all, exercising too much adversely affects the mental health badly. Our body can only experience changes if it
is trained at a certain amount of time, if you workout more than needed, the muscles will get overloaded the muscles
and may lead to painfully injuries. Especially when exercising in the wrong way, which can lead to life-threatening
diseases like heart disease and it gives no positive effect. For example, a person can run three rounds as a goal to
lose weight, but if they run more than what their body could suffer, or even breathing the wrong way when running,
could lead them to death because the heart can not work more than it can.
Moreover, being exhausted after running for too long could make people lose their energy for the day easily. This
makes everything they do in that day might not get the best quality, or worse, it can damage their schedule because
they get tired very fast.
To sum up, I fully agree that more doesn't mean better, and each person has different bodies so it would be best to
figure out what exercises fit you most and do it at a certain amount to get the best results.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using contractions and the 1st/2nd person voice.
- Your sentences tend to be overlong.
5
Bùi Hải Trung

The health benefit of regular exercise and physical activities are hard to ignore, but it's impossible to argue against the
fact that doing too many exercises also hold unexpected dangers. As an observer of the growing exercise trend, I tend
to agree that too much exercise could have a negative effects on health. I will discuss my reasons for supporting this
belief in the following paragraphs.
Firstly, too many exercises harm physical health. Especially, the damage will be more and more intense if they
exercise in the wrong way, leading to muscle pain. As well as this, since strenuous exercise requires the heart needs
to work harder to pump blood to the brain, too much strain could lead to heart attack or other life-threatening
conditions. This is mainly because the human body has limits and when the heart can't respond anymore, it causes a
negative effect; the body probably falls into a coma which is also the main reason for heart disease. For example,
there are people who choose to run as much as possible to lose weight. But they may not even lose weight, but
possibly take all of these damages above.
Furthermore, the problem does not only badly impact physical health but also causes serious mental health problems.
For instance, being exhausted from getting out of breath, people will lose motivation to run their daily life. This means
that productivity would certainly decline. Consequently, too much exercises waste time and excessive consumption of
one's energy, which can contribute to poor health.
In conclusion, I believe that more doesn't mean better, it is wise for people if they decide to do exercise at a suitable
intensity, which can bring the best result of working out.
- Avoid using contractions.
- You need to come up with stronger arguments and develop them more logically.
- Make sure to use your own words and ideas. The essay is suspiciously similar to writing submitted by other
students.
5
Lê Nguyễn Nguyệt Minh

From a global perspective, physical exercises has great benefits for the health, though in recent years, exercise trends
have proven the inverse of the benefits to be true. There has been a popular opinion considering the drawbacks of
excessive exercise. As someone who has had experience with these activities, I agree that too much exercises can
indeed have negative effects on health. I will discuss my reasonings in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, according to the CDC, adults should get 5 hours of moderate exercise each weak to increase their
benefits. But researches shows that doing more than 5 hours can lead to disadvantages rather than advantages. For
example, one unsurprising study conducted by the NCBI showed that people who ran had a lower risk of dying than
people who didnt. but on a surprising twist, people who ran faster had a similiar risk to people who didnt run.
Furthermore, while normal exercises can improve the immunity system, excessive exercises can reduce it, your
immunity system has a 72-hour window of impaired immunity, which means bacterias and viruses have a higher
chance of infecting. A pole made by the American College of Sports Medicine that has proven that 1 million people
experience exercise addiction.
In conclusion, the evidences presented in the essay strongly supports the discussion that too much physical exercise
is harmful.
- You are under the minimum word count.
- Avoid using the 2nd person voice.
- You need to come up with stronger and more relevant arguments. Make sure you provide sufficient supporting
information.
- You need to proofread your writing more carefully. There are several basic spelling and punctuation errors.
4
Nguyen Duc Tam

Physical exercises play a vital role in people’s life. It is claimed that over-exercising badly affects our health.
Personally, I strongly agree with this point of view for some reasons.
To begin with, over-exercising can cause pains and aches. If people are not used to practicing hard for long hours,
pains all around their body may appear, which leads to early tiredness in their workout. For example, an amateur who
runs 5 hours per day, about 3 hours longer than the usual exercise supposedly applied to a professional athlete, might
feel exhausted afterwards. They even suffer from muscle soreness which can be extended and lasts for at least three
days.
Another reason is that extreme exercise may cause depression and also anxiety. Some people might think that
exercise, for example, doing yoga, stretching or walking, are mood boosters. However, if they raise hope in doing too
much of those three types of exercise to achieve certain results such as losing weight while but they fail, they may
suffer from nervousness and sadness. At the same time, such over workout could make them feel overly exhausted
and physically anxious about achieving their own goals.
In conclusion, doing too much physical exercise undoubtedly affects people’s health. I believe that people should
consider how much they should train and practice to keep fit everyday rather than over workout to avoid bad
consequences.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1.5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
5
Vũ Hồng Anh

In our modern world, some people argue that too much exercise is not ideal for our health, and I mostly agree with
them.
Firstly, extreme amounts of workouts can impact negatively on our health. Too much physical exercise can result in
the soreness of bones and joints, muscular fatigue, and body overheating, and increased heart rate, which can cause
cardiac arrest and sudden death. For instance, Fabrice Muamba, who used to be a professional soccer player in
Britain, collapsed during a game after suffering cardiac arrest. It can also the damage of other internal organs such as
kidneys or lungs. These problems are capable of affecting performance drastically. There have been many cases of
hospitalization from too much physical work.
Secondly, overworking can lead to severe mental health issues. cause stress, which nearly everyone wants to avoid,
as it messes up sleep schedules, make strained people lack rest and motivation, focus difficulties, etc. Many people
try to solve their problems by having therapy, doing fewer workout exercises, or even using drugs, which only makes
matters worse.
Nevertheless, exercising still brings us some friends if they're willing to join, even if it's too much. There's still the thrill
when breaking the personal record, what can be learnt each day, and the memories you can make, but compared to
the demerits, it is still not a worthwhile experience.
In conclusion, I don't recommend doing too much exercise as it can cause some health and mental problems, but
resting for a bit is okay.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using contractions, abbreviations, and the 1st person voice.
- You need to develop your arguments more logically. Avoid including irrelevant information.
4
Phạm Duy Thiện Nhân

We are all aware that exercise is an essential component of living a healthy lifestyle. This also does not imply that the
more you practice, the better you will become. Extreme exercise can be harmful to the body, exposing it to a number
of negative consequences. As a result, I agree that excessive exercise is harmful to our health.
To begin with, excessive exercise has a negative impact on their physical health. The damage would be especially
severe if they exercise incorrectly, resulting in muscle pain. In addition, since exercise requires the heart must work
harder to pump blood to the brain. It can cause irregular heartbeats, increasing the risk of stroke from heart failure.
Particularly in people who have a family history of irregular heartbeats. Furthermore, the problem has serious mental
health consequences as well as physical health consequences. Excessive exercise on a regular basis produces a
biochemical index that is comparable to that of people suffering from chronic depression. Not only are the changes in
tryptophan and serotonin secretion similar, but people suffering from depression and those who exercise excessively
have similar behavioral manifestations such as irritability, insomnia, and lack of motivation.
In conclusion, Excessive exercise has been shown to have negative mental and physical consequences. If you
experience any of the above symptoms while exercising, you should stop and rest your body. Then, design the
exercise to be most effective in promoting the benefits of the sport.
- Avoid using the 1st and 2nd person voice.
- The writing lacks coherence. You need to develop your arguments more logically.
- You also need to use more effective transitions.
Task Response 1.5, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
4.5
Nguyễn Tường Vy
Nowadays, people tend to exercise more than in the past as the pandemic has raised awareness in their minds.
However, this trend raises a question: Is too much exercise still beneficial to your health? For various reasons, I
believe that exercising excessively won’t cause you harm.
Firstly, by exercising, pressure will be put onto your muscles. This will advance your muscle’s development, resulting
in a healthier body. Also, if you work out daily, you will reduce the chance of having heart related issues. Having your
body doing exercises will strengthen your heart as it helps your heart to be used to pumping more blood to different
body parts, thus decreasing the risk of heart attack and other life-threatening conditions. Additionally, the more you
work out, the better your lungs function. Because when you train, you use up more oxygen than normal, resulting in
more hardworking lungs. By doing this consistently, your lung will soon be stronger and you will be in good shape.
Secondly, beside physical merits, exercising habitually also have numerous mental health benefits. For instance,
exercising daily will increase your creativity and logicality. It was found that an increase in blood flow can clear your
mind. The inventitiveness you gained will play a vital role in improving your work or academic performance. Moreover,
the likelihood of you being depressed will decrease as exercising daily relaxes your mind. Therefore, working out
frequently may prevent you from having mental illness.
In conclusion, Exercising has innumerable advantages, both physically and mentally. The more you exercises, the
healthier your body is, helping you to perform hard tasks with more ease. Also, the chances of being depressed or
having a foggy mind will decrease dramatically if you work out more. All in all, excessive exercising won’t cause you
more harm than good.
-The writing is far too informal. Avoid using questions, contractions, and the 2nd person voice.
- Do not use the word "will." The essay should be written in the present simple tense.
6
Lê Minh Ngọc
The health benefits of regular exercise and physical activities are hard to ignore. Still, it is impossible to argue against
the fact that doing too many exercises also holds unexpected dangers.
First and foremost, too many exercises harm their physical health. Especially, the damage will be more and more
grave if they exercise in the wrong way which leads to muscle pain. As well as this, since strenuous exercise requires
the heart needs to work harder to pump blood to the brain, too much strain could lead to heart attack or other life-
threatening conditions. It is mainly because the human body has limits. And when the heart can't respond anymore, it
can cause negative effects. Also, the body probably falls into a coma which is a primary reason for heart disease. For
example, some people choose to run as much as possible to lose weight, but the result is that they will take all of
these damages above or even die.
Furthermore, the problem not only badly impacts physical health but also causes serious mental health problems. For
instance, being exhausted from getting out of breath, people will lose motivation to run their daily lives. It means that
productivity would decline. Consequently, too much exercises waste time and excessive consumption of one's
energy, which can contribute to poor health.
In conclusion, I believe that more doesn't mean better, it is wise for people if they decide to do exercise at a suitable
intensity, which can bring the best result of working out.
students.
4
Liu Lực Huy

While it is commonly stated that exercise is beneficial for your health, recent workout trends have revealed that the
opposite may also be true. There is a growing and widespread perception that excessive exercise is harmful to one's
health. As an observer of the expanding fitness trend, I tend to concur that excessive exercise might indeed be
harmful to one's health. In the following paragraphs, I will explain why I believe this way.
First and foremost, overdoing activity harms people’s physical health. The damage will be especially severe if they
exercise incorrectly, resulting in muscle soreness. In addition, their heart must work harder to pump blood to their
brain, too much strain could lead to heart attack or other life-threatening conditions. This is mostly because the human
body has limits and when the heart stops responding, it may have a negative effect, causing the body to slip into a
coma, which is also a major cause of heart disease. For example, some people try to run as much as possible to lose
weight, but as a result, they may suffer all of the above-mentioned consequences or even die.
Furthermore, the condition has a negative impact not only on physical health but also on mental health issues. People
will lose motivation to run their daily lives if they are fatigued from running out of breath. This means that production
would almost probably fall. As a result, excessive exercise wastes time and consumes too much energy, which can
contribute to some health issues.
In conclusion, I believe that more is not always better and that people should exercise at a proper level to achieve the
best results.
- Avoid using contractions and the 2nd person voice.
students.
4.5
Nguyễn Bảo Lâm

In the debate over whether engaging in excessive physical activity is bad for our health, many people argue that it is.
Personally, I wholeheartedly concur with the notion that intense exercise is detrimental for our bodies.
Exercise is important for maintaining good health and is essential for carrying out daily tasks, as we all know. You can
use it to stay healthy, maintain a balanced diet, overcome depression, cultivate a positive outlook, and completely turn
over a new leaf.
However, if you can't manage how much time you spend exercising, it won't be as beneficial. In other words,
excessive exercise might have negative effects on your body and brain. The CDC once conducted research that
indicated adults should engage in roughly 5 hours of moderate exercise each week or 2.5 hours of more intense
physical activity. Even if you try to go above and beyond it, it won't increase your health benefits.
To be more specific, a study that was conducted in the past revealed that light to moderate runners had a reduced
chance of passing away than non-exercisers. The tide appeared to be turning when it was discovered that some
individuals who ran vigorously more than three times per week had a heart attack risk comparable to that of non-
runners. So it appears that running too frequently and intensively might counteract some of the health advantages of
regular jogging.
Therefore, it's crucial to recognize if you're exercising excessively or not. Sadly, the question "how much exercise is
too much?" has no precise solution. due to the fact that it depends on a number of variables in the equation (age,
stress, nutrition, etc,..). However, there are common signs and symptoms of the illness, including losing fitness,
gaining weight, poor sleep, an addiction to exercise, and more.
For this reason, determining your "just right" quantity of exercise is important to take into account how much time you
should spend exercising in order to improve your health and prevent over-exercising.
In conclusion, I can objectively confirmed consensus on the assumption that too much exercise will affect people's
health. Still, doing exercise is vitual to our bodies. The key is to get the right amount.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using quotation marks, questions, parentheses, ellipses, contractions, and the
1st person voice.
- You need to organize your writing more logically. In particular, you should review the function of topic sentences and
pay attention to how others divide up their writing into paragraphs.
- You need to come up with stronger, more relevant arguments.
- The writing is confusing at times. You are using several words incorrectly.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion .5, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
3.5
Nguyễn Bùi Vân Hiền

Nowadays, media is omnipresent, which makes people spend hours on their phones, then, exercise is reckoned to be
an efficient way to stay healthy and to keep away from the media. However, in my opinion, doing too much physical
exercise is seriously detrimental.
First and foremost, too much exercise has a crippling effect on physical health. Doing high-intensity training on end
can plague people with muscle pain. Also, the heart needs strenuous efforts to pump blood to the brain at an
increased rate, which is the principal reason for cardiovascular diseases. Besides, being short-winded all the time can
cause serious asthma. Specifically, some people do nonstop training to lose weight but they have no perception that
they will possibly take a plethora of damages or even die.
In addition, the problem even deteriorates into serious mental damage. Being exhausted from physical training makes
people lose the motivation to run their daily life. This can also lead to a supine attitude which is disruptive. Accordingly,
these cause productive decline and daunting tasks,… By the way, too much exercises waste time and excessive
consumption of one's energy, which can contribute to poor health. In some cases, people even need intensive
treatment to pull through.
In conclusion, I personally believe that the more doesn't mean the better, it is wise for people if they decide to do
exercise at a suitable intensity, which can bring the best result of working out.
- You need to develop your arguments much more. In particular, you need to provide supporting
information/explanation for your claims.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using contractions and ellipses.
4
Thiều Sỹ Hưng
People usually think that exercises are good for our health benefits, and I too support this idea. But, I also whole
heartedly agree with the fact that too much physical exercise can be harmful to both our physical and mental health.
Firstly, excessive physical exercises can take a huge toll on your body. If you have osteomalacia or simply put, having
soft bones, you can clearly observe the effect these exercises have on you and how damaging it is. Just a slight injury
can affect you badly in the long run so try to do other activities that suit your need best. Trying to keep up with daily
routines and cramming these additional workouts everyday also means that you need a strong willpower. You need to
commit and put everything you have into it since it can only benefit you if you are willing to do it every single day. If
you can’t do it however, it will just strain both your mental and physical stamina.
Secondly, too much of something isn’t a good thing. Exercises that are doable for you daily is fine, healthy even. But if
you so much of it in a day, you may experience burn-outs. Just like studying, you can’t sit in the same place for too
long, similar to how you should not torture yourself by forcing it to work continuously. This can lead to high- blood
pressure, muscle straining or just tiredness in general. You might overlook the fact that if this happens over and over
again, you might be welcomed with sudden death. Stroke is an unpredictable thing but if we know how to minimize the
possibility of it happening as much as possible, that would be a very good thing.
To sum up, we’ve talked about why too much physical exercise isn’t beneficial to our health and its risk and how these
points prove that the thesis is valid.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using contractions and the 1st/2nd person voice.
- You need to come up with stronger, more relevant arguments.
4
Nguyễn Diễm Anh

It is undeniable that exercising does wonders for people's health and there is a rapid increase in the number of people
who decide to work out. However, it is thought that due to too much physical exercise, there are harmful
consequences that follow almost right after. For the following reasons, I strongly agree with this statement is accurate
for the following reasons.
Perhaps the most significant underlying reason for this argument is that over-exercising may lead to physical injuries,
especially if that person is an amateur who hasn't got the advanced skills to cope with. Injuries can be vary depending
on the amount of extra physical exercises, but the most common outcomes are usually bone-breaking injuries or
muscle pain. Another threat is that disability can be caused as a consequence of over training. Most worryingly, the
rate of fatal injuries is believed to be increasing alarmingly. In addition, even if there aren’t any signs of harm nor
injuries at the present, there can be harsh aftereffects after aging. A typical example of this is nagging back pain that
may happen over and over in the future.
A further reason to agree with the idea of over exercising is harmful is that it can be the cause of some severe mental
problems. In particular, since Most people are always hoping to see fast results like a rapid weight loss or an increase
in the width of the muscles. But as it takes a long period of time to get to the goal, putting too much effort in exercising
can result in mood swings and casually being irritable due to unstable self-performances. Also, if one person exercises
too much, they will undoubtedly feel stressed out and be impatient with the progress. There are a number of facts
indicating that if people work out too hard, they can feel good at first and their brains will continue to release more
dopamine which helps motivate the body. However as people start to become bored, there would be a huge drop in
dopamine, some even lead to depression or self-believing issues.
In conclusion, Even if it is certainly good for people to exercise, putting too much effort in it can lead to risky outcomes
for the bodies as well as the minds. To sum up, the foregoing discussion indicates that too much exercising would be
destructive to human bodies, resulting instantly or in the future.
- The writing should be more concise.
Task Response 2, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
6
Bùi Ngọc Minh Phúc

Some people allege that it may be harmful for your health if you do excessively physical activities. In my point, I agree
with the opinion: too much exercise may indeed be bad for our health.
First of all, doing too much exercise could lead to heart problems. People with heart, who do high intensity of exercise,
would have a high risk of death from a heart attack or a stroke. It was also, found that people who do a large amounts
of ensurance exercise could develope an irregular heart rhymth when they grow older.
Sencondly, over training often results in joint injury. If a person do too much exercise, their muscle would be over-
active and finally lead to aches and pain. The injuries would become more seriously, they may result in permanent
disability. In addition, it would cost a numerous of money to cure the injuries if they get serious.
Lastly , too much exercising could also prone to poor mental health. Exercising over 8 hours a week could lead to
anxiety and depression. Moreover, an overstressed body would result in anger, confusing,…
In conclusion, I agree with the opinion: people shouldn’t do much physical exercise for those reasons I have
mentioned.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using contractions, ellipses, and the 1st/2nd person voice.
- You need to proofread your writing more carefully. There are several spelling/punctuation errors and you are using
quite a few words incorrectly.
- You need to develop your arguments and provide explanation for your claims.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource .5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
3.5
Đỗ Anh Tuệ
I totally agree with the fact that doing too much physical exercise is harmful to our health.
First, the health benefit of regular exercise and physical activities are important but more importantly, too many
exercises can have a negative impact on their physical health. Especially the damage will get worse if they do
exercise in a wrong way that lead to the muscle pain. Also, Exercising too much without resting enough in between
can lead to low testosterone levels and high levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. These hormonal changes are often
associated with loss of muscle tissue, weight gain, and excess belly fat. Human body has limits, if they exercise to
much, the heart will have to work harder to pump blood to their brain. When their heart can’t respond anymore, this
can cause negative effect. Their body probably will fall into a coma which is also a main reason of heart disease. For
example, there are people, who choose to run as much as possible as a way of losing weight, but the result is that,
they will possibly take all of these damages above or even die.
Futhermore, the problem is not only badly impact on physic health but can also cause serious mental health problem.
For instance, you’re exhausted from doing too many exercises, you will have reasons for not working or running your
daily life. This means that the productivity will certainly decline. Finally, too many exercises will waste a lot of time and
excessive consumption of one’s energy, which can contribute to a poor health.
In conclusion, I personally believe that everything has it’s limit includes our health, it is wise for people if they decide to
do exercise at a suitable intensity, which can brings the best result of working out.
students and lifts a section from an online article.
PLAGIARISM (https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-overtraining#:~:text=Exercising%20too%20much
%20without%20resting,gain%2C%20and%20excess%20belly%20fat.)
0
Tạ Trần Hoàng Lâm
Some people believe that doing too many physical activities has a negative impact on our lives and our health. I
wholeheartedly subscribe to this narrative. This essay will go into detail about why I agree with this opinion.
First and foremost, are the problems that overexercising causes. Exercising is always good for our health, but too
much of something is always not good. Especially, the damage will be more and more impactful if they exercise
incorrectly, leading to muscle pain. People who exercise too much risk being injured or even dying. For example,
studies have shown that activities like running, jumping, working out, and others if done incorrectly and without
moderation, will result in muscle tears, headaches, and even death.
Last but not least, overexercising not only cause a big impact on our physical health but also causes big problems to
our mental health problems. For instance, after being exhausted from getting out of breath from excessive training,
people will lose the motivation to run their errands and their daily life. This also means that their productivity would
certainly decline. Consequently, too much exercises waste time and excessive consumption of one's energy, which
could have been used for studying or for socializing. The waste of time and excessive energy consumption can
contribute to poor health.
In conclusion, I believe that more does not always mean better. Exercise will always be fun and exciting if people train
in moderation and careful planning, which would always bring the best results from working out.
- You should come up with stronger arguments and develop them more logically.
- Avoid using the 1st person voice.
Task Response 1.5, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
5
Đặng Hoàng Tuệ Anh

These days, since personal demands for body workout are increasing, many people assert that too much physical
activities done may turn out to devastate our health. In my own view, I remain unconvinced that over-exercising brings
any downsides to humans. Therefore, taking part in physical pursuits are needed for a balanced living, as they can
improve both physical and mental health.
On the one hand, physical activities are the key to physical health. To illustrate, with proper exertion, the calories and
unwanted fat are burned out, so that people can prevent their body from obesity, which is the factor of chronic
diseases such as cancer, diabetes. In addition, body movements are crucial for maintaining and boosting muscles’
strength. For instance, children playing sports are often seen to be in shape and rarely have health issues at school.
On the other hand, exercising plays an important part in improving mental health. Working out can help one reduce
stress and anxiety level, as well as resolve inner conflicts. The brain functions are boosted and developed by the
actions of the body, along with various interests and skills are built up, such as self-esteem and self-confidence.
Evidence shows that people with exercising habits are often revealed to be in a good mood and sleep better.
In conclusion, physical pursuits bring plenty of advantages to human’s health, both physically and mentally, and
consequently results in a healthy society. Hence, individuals should form for themselves a habit of doing exercises to
enjoy the full merits it brings.
- You should pay more attention to the prompt and come up with more relevant arguments.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1.5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
5.5
Vũ Linh Đan
In present global situation, many are inclined to believe that too much exercise is harmful to our health. Although they
have reasons to support, I am at variance to a large extent. It is mainly because the phrases “too much” and “harmful”
in the statement.
Out of all the reasons, the foremost one to disagree is that "harmful" is a negative word with too strong connotation.
The term “harmful” is suitable for the situation when someone results in seeking medical treatments, such as heart or
lung diseases. In fact, over-exercising only exhaust people, or possibly mildly dehydrated – which is not likely to
develop into a matter if they drink enough water. Over-exercising could appear in the not-to-do list; yet, not to the
extend of having serious health problems. Therefore, the use of the word “harmful” is unreasonable.
Furthermore, I disagree with the motion because "too much" is a relatively vague word, since different people have
various ideas about the definition of "too much”. Doing “too much” exercise for some people might not be “too much”
for others. For instance, for some individuals who workout at least one hour per day, doubling the amount would not
create much of a problem rather than pushing their limits a little bit. On the contrary, someone who exercise once
every week would find the two-hour-a-day frequency an arduous task. Hence, the term “too much” is too ambiguous
for a motion.
To conclude the discussion, it is prevailing claim that the statement “doing too much exercise would cause harm”
appears irrational.
- This is an interesting approach to the prompt, but I would suggest reframing the arguments the following way:
1) Any potentially negative consequences of strenuous training are relatively mild
2) Each individual has a different level of ability and it is impossible to push one‘s body beyond reasonable limits
This way, you could do away with the extensive use of quotation marks and present a more emphatic case.
Also, the essay would be more effective if you at some point established the benefits of physical activity.
- Some of your arguments are not logically sound.
6.5
Ngô Thu Phương

Although Exercising is a healthy way to improve our immune system, some argue that too much exercise can actually
be harmful to one’s health. I highly agree with this opinion. In some cases, too much exercise can actually lead to
death.
For the vast majority of us, exercise is a good that we don’t get enough of. Thirty minutes of physical activities a day is
enough to prevent things like diabetes, high cholesterol, obesity. But a small number of people are addicted to
exercise. They often exercise way more than their body can handle. This can lead to many health affects.
First of all, strenuous exercising without resting can lead to overtraining and burnout. Taking regular breaks is a critical
part of an exercise routine, it allows the body to repair and recover. Without proper recovering times, areas of wear
and tear becomes weaker link. This prone to more injury and will less likely to show strength gains.
Secondly, too much exercise can lead to exhaustion. It is not normal to see people who feel sick or ill after exercising.
Exhaustion occurs in people who have poor training techniques. Training without proper techniques can result in
energy draining. This is because wrong techniques can lead to many problems, such as incorrect breathings, resulting
in exhaustion.
Finally, too much exercise can lead to poor immunity. Too much exercises without breaks can weaken the immune
system making the body more vulnerable to diseases.
In conclusion, although exercise is one of the most important part in building a healthy lifestyle. Too much exercise;
however; can lead to negative health effects. Therefore, People should do exercise at a suitable intensity, Sometimes
more doesn’t mean better.
- There are several punctuation errors in the conclusion. You are using the semicolon incorrectly.
- The writing is ungrammatical at times.
5
Lê Nhật Minh
Doing too much physical exercise, advised by and received at the same time by many people, is thought to bring
about a substantial change to people's health and bodies. In fact, doing too many exercises might burn fat, but will
also burn muscle in the meantime, leading to weakening of the body. I wholeheartedly agree to this assertion that
doing too much workout is actually harmful.
First of all, doing exercises, this for sure is good but doing too much exercise is actually contrary. Many insist that
doing too much exercise might be even better than just normal workout but they might be dumbfounded to learn that
not just it doesn't lead to any benefit but even weaken their bodies. Every activity should be drawn a line and held up
in some meantime including doing exercises, workout enough will help one reduce the calories absorbed by him in a
day but some more might cause severe damage to his muscles. This first makes one feel much more tired than usual
then slow leads to mood swings and irritability as well as troubles while sleeping. Also, when the muscles are lost,
problems with the immune system will start to indicate in one's body, this can be easily found out when one starts to
feel sore muscles and heavy limbs. Moreover, in extreme cases, heard damage and rhythm disorders can even occur.
Second of all, not only trauma, but also lack of time to do other activities starts to appear when exercising too much.
The lesser time there is, the worse performances in activities there are. When one spends too much focusing on
exercising, he will forget what other tasks he needs to finish because mostly people who are intended to work out a lot
will only focus on exercising because their goal is to keep fit. With performance and time to perform other tasks down,
the quality of life will also reduce. For instance, when one forgets to do his report at the office because of staying too
focused on exercising, his report's condition worsens and this leads to his salary's downfall, and his quality of life is
reduced.
To conclude, doing too much exercise not only brings no benefits to people's health but even causes harm to them
because of the numerous physical problems it could bring about and reduces time in other activities at work and
extracurriculars. For these reasons, I wholeheartedly propose the assertion that doing too much exercise can cause
harm.
- The writing is far too wordy.
- You should develop your arguments more and provide stronger supporting information.
5
Nguyễn Đỗ Anh Dũng

One of the scourges of the modern world is whether or not overexercising damages our health. My experience tells
me that many logical reasons support the thesis that excessive exercise is indeed harmful.
Some people believe overexercising is a worrying trend. They think a downside of excessive physical activity is
causing mental health problems, like depression and mood swings. People become stressed when they fail to push
themselves past their exercise limits as desired and try to exercise even more. However, because they failed, as
mentioned prior, they lost motivation, so their chances of exercising the amount they wanted are low. Therefore,
slowly, they gain higher resting heart rates, decreased appetite, and experience uncontrollable emotions, usually
stress. Stress also stops people from a good night’s sleep; thus, straining the body by exercising triggers insomnia.
Objectors to too much physical exercise also argue that overexercised people lose weight excessively and hurt
themselves trying to move their limbs. Firstly, becoming too thin comes with significant drawbacks. For instance, it
weakens the immune system and slows healing from injuries. Secondly, too much physical activity also causes sore
muscles, leading to heavy and partly paralyzed limbs. In addition, they could only move comfortably after a long time
of rewinding the body parts to the point when they weren’t hurt. If they had trimmed down on exercising, they would
have been able to heal faster.
Based on the points and arguments mentioned above, I strongly agree with the idea that excessive physical exercise
damages not only our physical body but also our mental health.
- Avoid using contractions and the 1st person voice.
- You should review the concept of a topic sentence.
6
Nguyễn Khánh An
Everyone knows that exercising daily is beneficial for us, but studies had shown that doing too much exercise can
have a bad impact on our health. In my opinion, I totally agree with this viewpoint.
Firstly, overtraining can make the immune system weaker, making it harder to prevent you from being infected with
upper respiratory infections, such as runny nose and sore throat.
Secondly, too much exercise can harm the hormones cortisol and epinephrine. This can lead to difficulties to
concentrate, easily getting annoyed, depression, and sleeping problems.
Thirdly, when our body don't have enough time to properly recover from continual exercise, excessive fatigue will
slowly grow in our system. Furthermore, nonstop calories expending can cause "low energy availability" to happen
when our body drains its energy stores.
To conclude, regular exercise is good but excessive training will result in damage to our body.
- You need to develop your arguments much more.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using contractions, quotation marks, and the 1st/2nd person voice.
Task Response .5, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
4
Vũ Mai Chi
Nowadays, exercise has become a vital leisure activity for everyone, and, a lot of people may suppose that the much
more they do exercise, the more they will be healthy, so in their free time, they do not do anything except exercising.
While many others think that doing too much exercise is actually harmful to our health, which I am wholeheartedly
agree with.
On the one hand, in practice, no one can deny that doing exercise regulary everyday is totally good for our health.
However, if we do too much exercise each day, it might make we feel more exhausted, and may be weakened.
Sometimes, it can cause some severe injuries, or aches and pains such as back aching, painful limbs. Therefore, our
whole body will become very weary and do not have any strength to do other things.
On the other hand, exercising too much may cause our lasting mental harm, for instance, we can suffer from insomnia
for a long period of time, which will be able to make we become stressed and depressed. In some cases, we can also
think about suiciding if this condition lasts too long. In addition, too much exercise each day might take up all our time,
and we will not have any time left to work, cook, watch news, or something like that.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that doing too much exercise reasonably do not do any wonders for our health,
although there is the existence of some opinions against this.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using informal expressions ("something like that") and the 1st person voice.
- You need to develop your arguments more and provide stronger supporting information.
- Your sentences tend to be overlong.
5
Nguyễn Ngọc Đan Lê

It is a widely acknowledged fact that the benefits of exercising are significant. However, some people claim that undue
training has adverse effects on their body. In my point of view, extreme workout is undoubtedly harmful to a trainer’s
both physical and mental health.
To start with, excessive exercising leads to devastating physical damage, especially muscle aches and strains. To be
more specific, when people tend to overuse certain parts of their body when working out extremely. As a result, those
sections will suffer from soreness and strains. Most of those injuries are minor, but there are some severe ones like
heart attacks and strokes, to name but a few. In rare cases, trainers who exercise more than necessary will
experience a variety of detrimental consequences, in particular, organ damages or even deaths.
Apart from that, excessive exercising also makes people feel stressed and tired. This is because as the above-
mentioned point, working out too much leads to physical damage, which can affect the proper function of people’s
mind in a bad way. Therefore, it induces problems such as depressive symptoms or aggressive attitudes and
behaviors. Furthermore, people who overtrain usually spend a large amount of their time exercising after work. As a
consequence, this results in a variety of serious mental issues, including burnout, fatigue and eating disorders.
In conclusion, although exercising is undisputedly beneficial, based on the aforesaid reasons, I totally agree with the
arguments that undue workout is detrimental to people’s physical and mental health in many ways.
- You should develop your arguments more logically.
6.5
Nguyễn Xuân Ngọc Khánh

Physical exercise helps us to stay healthy. However, I agree that doing too much physical exercise is harmful to our
health.
It is said that doing too much physical exercise can cause tiredness,depression, trouble sleeping, mood swings,…Due
to this,we can see that doing too much physical exercises have serious consequences to our health. In a long term,
our health will be worse and people who do too much exercise will have to suffer from several physical and mental
health issues.
Also, doing too much not only harms our health but also our life and relationships. When we do exercise, we will use
up our energy and be tired. Because of this if people do too much physical exercise too frequently, they will become
extremely exhausted and do not have time for other important things like job, career, relationships,.. As a result, they
do not have energy and strength to do their work or activities around them. In particular, they may then neglect Their
job or study will not be done effectively and it also affects their relationships as they are tired and can not spend time
with them.
In conclusion, Physical exercise is great for our health. But to ensure a healthy life, we must know how to manage the
way that we do it.
- The introduction and conclusion are far too brief and underdeveloped.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using ellipses and the 1st person voice.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
4.5
Nguyễn Võ Quỳnh Anh

Until now, health has always been prioritized, thus many people have actively participated in sports on a regular basis
to improve their health and stay in shape. However, there are many who benefit from sports training for the purpose of
enhancing health and practice for an extended period of time. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the above
statement.
First and foremost, people understand that there is no such thing as "too much" for a successful outcome. As a result,
the human body should not be overworked because a body has a tolerance limit and should rest and exercise in
moderation. If each individual stays indifferent and subjective to this and continues to participate in sports for an
extended period of time, they are at risk of developing cardiovascular disease or hypertension. More seriously, it will
result in a deadly stroke.
Furthermore, prolonged exercise causes the human body to be sore for an extended period of time, reduces the motor
function of the muscular system, and weakened skeletal muscles can lead to sprains. This issue can lead to bone and
joint problems, which are extremely inconvenient and have a negative impact on the lives of those who are affected.
As far as I can see, the numerous negative effects of prolonged exercise can have major and hazardous long-term
consequences for the human body. As a result, a such strenuous activity not only does not provide each individual
with excellent health and a balanced physique, but it is also detrimental to oneself. To sum up, each individual must
know how to modify and exercise in a fair amount of time with exercises appropriate for their strength.
- You should develop your arguments more and provide stronger, more relevant supporting information.
- Make sure you clearly state your position.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1.5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
5
Nguyễn Phạm Châu Anh

Scientists say that exercise is an important way to keep your self fit. Although I totally agree with this statement, I think
that doing too much exercise can have harmful effects on one’s body. When exercising,our bodies releases chemicals
named endorphins. Endorphins enables us to be happier and healthier from exercising. It can improve our mental
health, as well as our physical appearance. When exercising, sweat and toxins comes out of body. It can be a great
way to naturally detox without using medicine. Doing exercise the right way can also benefit our bones, as well as
make our bodies flexible. However, over- exercising can be detrimental to our health. For example, our bodies can
have injuries and one might get exhausted from the drainage of energy that exercise needs. It can also cause fatigue
problems, as well as heart and muscle difficulties. In some cases, over-exercising can affect the heart, leading to
death. Although exercise can be harmful if done too much, people should exercise regularly in order to stay in shape
and keep fit.
- You need to organize your writing into paragraphs.
- You need to clearly state your position and argue it consistently throughout the essay.
- Pay more attention to punctuation. Every comma or a period is followed by a space.
Task Response .5, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
3.5
Nguyễn Minh Anh

In this modern age, workouts are becoming exceedingly popular as a way to improve health and flexibility. However, a
portion of the public argues that they are having an adverse effect on our fitness when overdone. In my viewpoint, I
wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment, as there is an abundance of justifications to lend support to this.
First and foremost, intensive exercise can result in damage to physical health. To exemplify, muscle soreness is an
awfully common phenomenon that all gymnasts go through even with minimal training. Thus, A disproportionate
amount of workouts will leave the athlete with extreme pain and discomfort. Additionally, overworking can be
developed into cardiovascular diseases as the heart is unable to pump blood quickly enough after a grueling exercise
session and will have severe long-term repercussions on a person’s well-being.
For another thing, doing replete physical exercise not only influences our visceral health but also our mental state.
Overexercising can have consequential outcomes on a person’s mood and energy levels. Working out should be a
mood booster, however, undertaking intense training can leave people going through miserable emotions.
Furthermore, those suffering from overexercising disorder may feel dispirited and anxious when missed a workout,
causing further detriment. Under these circumstances, people adhering to this way of life will avoid social gatherings
and doing daily tasks, leading to a corrupting work-life balance.
In conclusion, overexertion might induce injury to the human body, both physically and mentally. One must know how
to train properly so as not to overwork themselves and maintain a healthful lifestyle.
- You should provide stronger supporting information and justify your claims.
6.5
Quách Nhật Hoa

Exercising has several enticing benefits. Though, some people proclaim that excessive physical exercise may put a
person in peril. My view on this topic aligns with their assertion, and this essay will explore the reasons why that
proclamation is valid.
The first reason for that view is that excessive exercise will induces muscle fatigue. Muscle fatigue is the factor
causing physical discomfort and difficulty in muscle movement, which is an indication of the muscles’ inability to
persist further intense exercise, and inhibits peak performance when doing exercise. Doing further exercise will
expose the person to higher chances of injuries, while also weakening bone and muscle health, which negates the
benefits of healthy physical exercise. Therefore, a person should have a healthy physical exercise limit to avoid the
onset of muscle fatigue.
Another reason is that excessive exercise may also lead to protracted muscle soreness. Muscle soreness is an
acceptable common, normal side effect of doing exercise, and it typically lasts a few days after doing a healthy
amount of exercise. Though, when doing excessive exercise, this unrelenting feeling of muscle soreness may be
prolonged, and may interfere with performance in physical labor tasks. Furthermore, this soreness may indicate a
possible injury, due to excessive exercising. To prevent such protracted muscle soreness, a limit on the extent of
physical exercise is needed.
In summary, the assertion of the peril associated with excessive physical exercise is reasonable, for the two
undesirable side effects, muscle fatigue and muscle soreness, that is caused by excessive exercise, which may lead
to undesirable feelings and effects, which are weakened bone and muscle health, negation of the benefits of physical
exercise, and lowered performance in physical, laborious tasks. Only by establishing a healthy boundary of the
amount of physical exercise, will a person enjoy the full benefits of physical exercise.
- The two body paragraphs are virtually identical in content. You need to come up with more arguments to back up
your position.
- The writing should be more concise. Your sentences tend to be overlong.
- You are using the word "though" incorrectly.
5.5
Trương Vĩnh Gia

The benefits of exercise cannot be argued but we cannot deny that exercising too much will lead to unpredictable
dangers. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons to support this view.
First and foremost, excessive exercise has too many negative influences on health. Excessive exercise hence heart
rate abnormal, increasing the risk of stroke due to heart failure. In addition, excessive movement of the immune
system, thereby reducing the ability to cope with the disease. In addition, too much exercise definitely faces a high risk
of illness, even if the risk of being bedridden is twice as high as the average person. This causes the state of fracture,
bone fractures in these people. The result of this is to weaken the body, with long-term sickness and heavier leading
to death.
In the secondly place, mental health affects by too much exercise. It's too hard for people to feel exhausted, from
which people will lose their strength and interest in everyday life. This means increasing the risk of changing
physiology and suffering mental illnesses such as depression, and autism. People who are tired will lose interest, as
well as no excitement to fulfill their interests. When the physiological health changes, sleep deprivation is constantly
expanding, which leads to losing concentration in working, and learning. Since then, it reduces the quality of life.
In conclusion, personally, I believe that it is important to exercise regularly, but exercising too much is detrimental to
physical and mental health. Each person should do suitable exercise for themselves to reach the best achievement.
- The writing is quite confusing. You are using several words incorrectly and there are numerous grammar issues.
Task Response 1.5, Coherence and Cohesion .5, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy .5
3.5
Dương Minh Huyền

Some people assert that doing too much physicals exercise is harmful for our health. To certain extend, I agree with
this opinion.
On the one hand, it will be true with people who do exercise for many hours a day, it is not necessary to do with those
times for ordinary peoples. It can cause injuries and adversely affect their well-being. However, if when doing these
exercises for a number of hours or without warming up people are likely to hurt their legs, arms. And even can make
themselves exhausted. Unlike Sport athletes who always train at intense levels. We merely can do several meet
physical workouts from two to hours a day or few days a week.
On the other hand, if you do exercise like swimming, cycling, running recently not much you can improve your health.
If you keep fit in gym 3 hours a week recently, you can have a good body.
In conclusion, although practicing much exercise is harmful for our health but if you practice fit exercise, it's so good.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using contractions and the 1st/2nd person voice.
- You need to proofread your writing more carefully. There are several spelling errors.
Task Response .5, Coherence and Cohesion .5, Lexical Resource .5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
2.5
Trần Lê Việt Anh
Some people claim that doing too much physical exercise is harmful to our health. To a certain extent, I agree with this
view. However, I believe that there are other exercises not too harmful.
On the one hand, it is true that a number of people doing exercise week for many hours a day or a week is considered
to be necessary to athletes, but with ordinary people, it can cause injures and adversely affect their well-being. . .
Such exercise as running bicycling. y are done recently at moderate level. and though warm up people can feel more
energetic and healthier. However, if when doing these exercises for many hours or without warming up people are
likely to hurt their legs, arms. . . and even can make themselves exhausted. Unlike Sport athletes who always train at
intense levels. We just can do several meet physical workouts from two to hours a day or few days a week.
On the other hand, there exercises such as walking are slowly Could be done with many hours. While walking, we can
see sights or talking to a friend and enjoy the fresh air at park, which is considered beneficial to our respiratory system
and shape. This is a good way of exercising can also relieve the tension in our body after a week of running, playing
tennis, bicycling,...or working and studying hard.
In conclusion, although doing a lot of physical exercise would be have negative impact on our health, I believe there
are exercises that have a number of benefits but do not harm us such as walking.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using ellipses and the 1st person voice.
- You need to come up with more relevant arguments.
- You need to proofread your writing more carefully. There are several punctuation and spelling errors.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion .5, Lexical Resource .5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
3
Trần Khánh Ngọc

While has often been said that exercise is often considered a way to improve health and alleviate numerous problems.
However, there is a social opinion that taking too much physical exercise has crippling effects on our fitness. In my
point of view, I completely agree with this opinion is accurate for the following reasons.
First of all, exercising unrelentingly for a long time makes detrimental impacts on the body. For example, after doing a
plethora of activities, the musculoskeletal system will be damaged and cause bone fracture or maybe osteoporosis.
Also, the circulatory system, while exercising the heart ought to pump faster and might be overloaded, which is shown
by many pieces of research that increase the chance of heart disease, even heart stroke. In particular, the immune
system is weakened by the hormone secreted by the body to speed up the regeneration process which makes us
susceptible to colds, sore throats, fever and other illnesses.
Secondly, another problem of over- exercising is mental health. For instance, people who do too much exercise have
symptoms of extreme stress and estrogen concentration curtailment. As a result, they become unmotivated or suffer
from insomnia and need time for regeneration. Ultimately, they would be unproductive and have poor health.
In conclusion, exercise is increasingly prominent in people's lives due to the fact it helps us be healthier and avoid
disaster. On the other hand, I strongly believe that over-exercising causes lots of issues health, even death. Therefore,
People should exercise in moderation and not exceed their limits to get the best results.
- The writing is quite confusing at times. You need to develop your arguments more clearly and in more detail.
- There are several word order issues.

Task Response 1.5, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1.5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
5
Đỗ Công Danh
Some people these days claim that over-exercising does harm to one’s health rather than benefit it. I totally agree with
this point of view. While physical exercises are good for our well-being, it is dangerous if taken to the extreme.
First of all, excessive exercise may cause serious injuries to one’s body. Overtraining increases the risk of getting
injured. It also puts a lot of strain on the joints and muscles, which may result in pain and swelling in some body parts.
For instance, although running is undoubtedly beneficial to our physical robustness, too much of this exercise will
damage the joints and put pressure on the knees. Moreover, not giving the body time for recovery after extreme
training may lead to fatigue, which is a state of complete exhaustion and tiredness resulting from physical exertion.
This hinders the physical ability and makes the body even more susceptible to illness and injuries.
Additionally, over-exercising can wear down our immunity. While light to moderate training significantly improves one’s
immune system, intensive work out may actually weaken the body’s defences. After long and vigorous exercises, the
body is particularly vulnerable to illness such as colds and sore throats. Research have shown that athletes who take
on high-intensity training sessions are more susceptible to viruses and bacteria for up to 72 hours after exercising.
To sum up briefly, excessive exercise is harmful to one’s health mainly because it causes severe physical injuries and
weakens the mental resistance. Therefore, Exercising is surely advantageous, but it should only be done moderately.
- The writing is quite repetitive (you have a tendency to write sentences that restate the content of the sentence
immediately preceding them).
- You should develop your arguments more.
Task Response 1.5, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1.5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
6
Chu Đoàn Phương Chi

Physical exercise is becoming more and more popular nowadays. Most people are doing this activity a little too much
because they believe it's good for their health. But on the other hand, some people claim it is a harmful activity
because it will affect their health a lot.
It is generally believed that many people think that exercising a lot is good for their health. From my perspective, this
idea is completely flawed owing to the disadvantages of this affair.
Firstly, if you do too much physical practice, you will not have enough rest for your bones or your muscles to work at
the same life pace. Due to the next few days, you will feel tired and have very sore muscles, damaging your
movement. So that you will not be able to perform at the same level as you were. This will affect a lot to your daily
lifestyle.
Secondly, fat is a very important nutrient in your body. It helps to give your body with energy, protects your organs,
supports cell growth, and helps your body absorb vital nutrients. This means if you exercise too much, you'll lose fat,
which plays a very important role in protecting you from cold weather. Therefore, it could help you lose weight but also
make you get cold easily.
As a result, exercising makes you healthy and lose fat, but going beyond the limit wouldn't make you feel better but
would damage your health. That's why, in my view, I strongly agree with the idea that doing too much physical
exercise is harmful to our health.
5
Nguyễn Thanh Thảo Nguyên

Physical exercise is said to be very crucial and the benefit that they bring can not be ignored. Nowadays, there is an
opinion that too much exercise could actually have negative impacts. As an observer, I tend to agree that doing too
much physical exercise is indeed harmful to our health.
First of all, doing too much physical activities have some bad effects to our health. We will be tired and exhausted due
to too much physical activities. Furthermore, it can be the reason of a lot of dangerous diseases such as heart
disease, stroke, muscle pain and affect our health negatively. There are many cases that bones of people who do too
much physical activities and do exercise unwisely are broken and fractured.
Secondly, the problem is not only about physical health but also mental health. For example, being exhausted will
make people lose their motivation, work and learn unproductively. Their academic performance will be downgraded.
Additionally, Doing too much exercises waste time, people will not have enough time to do another necessary
activities.
In conclusion, I think that the more doesn’t mean better. Consequently, people need to do exercise wisely by
arranging time, choosing a physical activity which is suitable in order to bring the best result of physical exercise. The
ideal intensity of training are five hours a week for adults and three hours for children and teenagers.
- You are under the minimum required word count.
- You need to develop your arguments more.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
4.5
Nguyễn Hà Lan
‍
It is often argued that doing too much physical exercise is harmful to our health. Although I agree that exercising is
good, I think that exercising too much can adversely affect our health.
On the one hand, being physically active can help you in many ways. You can help strengthen your bone and
muscles. When you engage in physical activity, you burn calories. People who exercise always have fit and slim
bodies. Researchers have shown that three 10-minute walks burn as many calories and exercise your heart as well as
one 30-minute walk. Also, the immune system can be fitter and reduce disease risk. Physically active students tend to
have better scores, memory terms, and are more active than students who don't exercise. Thus, not exercising may
cause obesity which may lead to many diseases.
On the other hand, too much exercise can damage your body. Also, it can cause lasting physical harm. Rest is an
important part of exercising. It allows your body to recover for your next workout. When you do not get enough rest, it
can lead to poor performance and health problems. The body needs rest, which is why most health experts say one
should exercise every other day or 3 times a week. Without proper rest, the systems will not function normally and that
can affect your body. For example, when you run, your heart beats faster and if you keep running then your heart will
hurt. If you exercise too much your muscle will hurt then you can't move your muscles for a while.
In conclusion, even though that exercising is good for your health, the body needs rest too. You shouldn't exercise too
much or you will damage your own body.
- You need to come up with more relevant arguments. Pay more attention to the prompt.
- You need to make sure that your sentences follow a logical progression.
4
Nguyễn Nghĩa Gia An

The effects on health of excessive exercise has generated much controversy as some people claim that having too
much workout is counterproductive. I personally support this notion regarding considerable drawbacks.
First and foremost, over-exercising is observe to the cause of noticeable short term health issues. To be more specific,
people's stamina and mental life quality will be significantly damaged after a continuous series of intense training. The
weariness and low energy levels associated with over-exercising, for example, leads to increasing displeasure,
irritation and insomnia, according to the National Academy of Sport Medicine. Moreover, the chance of suffering from
minor injury, namely joint pain, cramps and tendinitis, is seen to escalate subsequent to excessive workout.
Secondly, athletes are prone to "silent disease" if persist long-endurance exercise, risking their own lives without being
aware. In other words, fatal medical consequences may occur after excessive workout. Over time, people will
experience rhabdomyolysis, which directly damages blood circulatory systems and kidneys, as well as impaired
immune system. It is also evident that symptoms development of depression and anxiety aggravate.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that having too much physical exercise is harmful for one's condition, either in short term
or permanent. Hence, I am strongly against any form of over-exercising concerning the mentioned matters.
- You should organize your writing more logically and develop your arguments more.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1.5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
4.5
Nguyễn Bảo Châu

It is said that doing too much physical exercise is harmful to our health and I agree with this opinion. Overtraining
causes the body to lose a lot of water and makes the body tired and weak. It can also increase the rate of heart
disease than the average person. Too much activity means leading to many consequences such as insomnia, many
neurons die, poor memory, loss of appetite,gastric reflux, persistent and prolonged cough, . ... In conclusion, we
should exercise in moderation.
- You are well under the minimum required word count.
- You need to organize your writing into paragraphs and develop your points much more.
- Avoid using ellipses and the 1st person voice.
Task Response .5, Coherence and Cohesion .5, Lexical Resource .5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy .5
2
Nguyen Hoang Minh

Regular physical activity and exercise have a positive impact on our health, but there is no denying that excessive
exercise also has unanticipated risks. While exercising can have a lot of positive aspects, it can be rather
damaging.Therefore, some claim that excessive physical activity is bad for our health.
First and foremost, too much exercises have negative impact on their physical health. Especially, the damage will be
more and more grave if they do exercise in a wrong way that lead to the muscle pain. As well as this, heart needs to
work harder to pump blood to their brain. This is mainly because human body has limits and when they heart can't
respond anymore, can cause negative effect, their body probably fall into a coma which is also a main reason of heart
disease. For example, there are people, who choose to run as much as possible as a way of losing weight, but the
result is that, they will possibly take all of these damages above or even die.
Furthermore, In some cases,exercise can be stressful. If the intensity and frequency of the stress becomes too great,
then the adrenal glands can begin to become exhausted, and the hormones that they produce can become depleted,
resulting in serious imbalances that can cause issue like estrogen dominance in women or testosterone deficiencies in
men. The end result is a tired, chronically fatigued individual who has disrupted sleep, low libido, worn-out looking
eyes, a set and stressed jawline.
In conclusion, physical activities can cause unexpected damage.
- Make sure you use your own words and ideas . The essay is plagiarized (https://www.trainingpeaks.com/blog/top-10-
reasons-exercise-is-bad-for-you/)
0
Đinh Mai Khánh Trang
Some people claim that excessive physical activity can badly affect our health. I wholeheartedly agree with this notion
for the following reasons.
There is no argument about the benefit of exercise. However, doing it too much can negatively impact our physical
health. To start with, Exercising too much makes our bodies exhausted. For example, doing yoga is commonly known
as an activity that helps us relax and loosen the body but when a yoga teacher has too many classes in a day, their
muscles and bones will be loose no matter how young they are. Also, our hearts need to get rest instead of having too
much work, leading to atrial fibrillation or heart disease. Furthermore, there are many people who do physical activity
the wrong way day by day without noticing and this is one of the factors which lead to muscle pain.
The second point is excessive exercising can also harm our mental health. Overdoing exercise affects our emotions.
Our bodies are made to be exhausted after doing too many exercises, as I have mentioned above, this also makes
our minds tired and makes us lose the driving force to do anything else. Some people overtraining and are even
obsessed with it which means they can’t let themselves take a break for too long. For instance, a person who wants to
do as much exercise as they can to lose weight but then break their boundaries, preoccupy with slimming down and
seems to have no strength left to live.
In conclusion, Being active has many benefits, it brings us a healthy life, and a happy life, yet doing anything too much
is never good. We should draw a line for ourselves and avoid overdoing physical activity.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using contractions and the 1st person voice.
- You need to develop your arguments more logically and in more detail.
Task Response 1.5, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
5.5
Trần Minh An
Exercising has a lot of health benefits. But recently, there has been a growing public opinion where exercising too
much may do more harm than good. As someone who used to exercise a lot, I strongly agree that too much exercise
is indeed not good for your health. I will be explaining my reasons for supporting this belief in this paragraph.
Firstly, exercising too much is bad for one's physical health. Studies have shown that exercising too much can cause
muscle pain, especially if they exercise in a wrong way that causes pain. Some athletes keep trying to push through
their limits no matter what, despite the pain on their muscles, and doesn't care if it might cause permanent damage. It
can also damages someone's heart, due to the heart working harder to pump blood to their brain. There are also
cases where athletes have died from heart issues caused by exercising too much. Many athletes have to end their
career because of permanent physical injuries during their exercises.
Furthermore, excessive exercising may also negatively impact one's mental health may also be affected by exercising.
For instance, someone not achieving their exercise goals can make them lose motivation to do anything else, and thus
delaying their other works. One might spend less time with family because they considered exercising more important,
and can ruin their marriage. In addition, exercising is also stressful and can cause depression if you can't reach the
level of exercises you want.
In conclusion, too much exercise is bad for your health. It can cause physical and mental health issue, and can even
cause death.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using contractions and the 2nd person voice.
- You should use more effective transitions.
- Your arguments could be developed more.
6
Vũ Bảo Châu
Nowadays , many people said that the best way to improve one’s health is do physical exercises , especially women
want to take off weight . Although people do exercises is really good , some people when practicing are too obsessed
about their body , their shape . Therefore , I totally disagree the opinion that doing too much physical exercise is
harmful to our health .
On the one hand , doing physical exercise or yoga can make us feel happier that could improve their lives . In
particular , exercises have been proven that improve mood and decrease bad feeling such as : depression , anxiety
and stress . For instance , in a recent study , 24 woman had suffered from depression , the work of exercises
significantly decreased feelings of depression . The effects of exercise can benefit mood that makes the difference of
feeling .
Besides , some exercises can help with the weight loss . In another recent study , some researches have shown that
inactive is one of the biggest reasons about weight gain and obesity . Our energy expenditure have three ways : a
healthy diet , doing physical exercise , maintaining body functions . Regular exercises usually increase metabolic rate ,
that will burn your calories when you eat , even you eat a lot . Keep yourself a habit of exercising from 30 minutes to 1
hours per a day , body will be in shape and lose weight quickly .
In conclusion , doing physical exercises can produce improvement in mental health and being optimistic . In addition ,
regular physical activity can help you live longer , improve your quality of life .
- You need to review basic punctuation rules. Punctuation marks are not preceded by a space.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using the 1st and 2nd person voice.
- You need to come up with more relevant arguments. Pay more attention to the prompt.
- There are quite a few grammar issues throughout.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource .5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy .5
3
Lê Minh Thi
A handful of people claim that doing too much physical exercise has detrimental effects on our health. I totally díagree
with this view. In my belief the sides are not too harmful to bear.
First and foremost, it is true that a number of people doing exercise a week for many hours a day is considered to be
necessary escpecially for atheletes .Though such extreme training couldn’t have seriously injure people if they know
how and when to excercise. Eventually, the muscles in people’s bodies will start to stretch out or break down to form
even tougher ones and that’s the simplicity of going to the gyms. Furthermore, hard excercise is beneficial towards
evolution as it will give us an advantage when a natural aspect is changed. However, if these kind of escercises pass
by without for warming up, inexperienced people are likely to get hurt or even get seriously ill. Unlike Sport athletes
who always train at intense levels. We just can do several physical workouts from two to hours a day or few days a
week.
In a nutshell, my point of view is that doing a lot of physical exercise would be have more weight on the benefits rather
than a fatal impact on our health if the correct measures weren’t taken, though it should not be taking too much
attention.
- You need to proofread your writing. There are numerous basic spelling and punctuation errors.
- The writing is also quite confusing and lacks logical organization. You need to review the concept of a topic
sentence.
Task Response .5, Coherence and Cohesion .5, Lexical Resource .5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
2.5
Vũ Ngọc Quang
In the recent years, it is believed that doing too much physical exercises has a detrimental effect on our health. From
my point of view to a limited degree, I agree with it.
There's no denying that exercise is an essential need for the body, but anything too bad is not good. On the one hand,
exercises such as cycling, or simply jogging will make us feel full of energy and vitality. However, if we do these
exercises for a long time, we are likely to experience muscle tension or even burnout. A typical example for that is
when a football team takes part in a competition, there is likely to have a few players getting a cramp.
On the other hand, if we exercise regularly but moderately, it not only gives us good physical strength and abundant
health, but also creates a very good habit. There are many types of exercise that can help people relieve stress, as
well as release toxic substances in the body after a hard day of working and studying.
In the nutshell, exercising too much can cause adverse effect on our bodies. Nevertheless, a judicious amount of time
would bring numerous benefits.
- You need to come up with stronger arguments and develop them more.
Task Response .5, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
4
Trần Đào Hạnh Nguyên

In this day and age, a number of people think that working out too much can be detrimental to our health. Personally, I
agree with this statement for the following reasons.
Firstly, excessive exercising adversely affects physical health. losing control of doing exercise is able to cause being
exhausted and feeling a lack of energy, especially for elderly and young children. Since people practice too much in a
period of time, this is also a cause of muscle pains which make moving hard. Besides, it may lead to some bad effects
on health such as sleeping difficulties, losing appetite...It is true to say that people need a suitable and reasonable way
of exercising. Researchers have found that the percentage of people who do exercise too much is easier to have
some illness related to heart than one who doesn’t exercise regularly.
Secondly, burning out is a waste of time. It not only decreases the effectiveness in doing other daily work, but also
people’s health quality. As training inordinately affects badly people’s well-being, it is necessary for them to take an
amount of time seeing the doctor and having examinations. Also, it reduces the effectiveness of our work since we are
tired of exercising, which means people can’t focus on their tasks completely.
In conclusion, despite the benefits of exercising is considered a good way to have a good health, but that doesn’t have
the same meaning as taking ‘too much’ practicing. In my opinion, we all need a particular exercising plan depending
on our health quality.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using contractions, quotation marks, ellipses, and the 1st person voice.
- You need to review the concept of a topic sentence.
4.5
Nguyễn Châu Anh

It has always been advised that everyone should do physical exercise to keep fit and maintain their health. However,
some people assert that doing too much physical exercise has negative impacts on our health. I concur with this
opinion due to these following reasons.
First and foremost, too much physical exercise adversely affects humans’ physical health in a harmful way. As a
result, people can hurt themselves, specifically, their muscles become sore. The pain will be even worse if people do
the exercise in a wrong way. This effect happens as human body has limits. When they reach their physical health’s
limits, their hearts beat faster and it may lead to heart disease or death.
Secondly, people’s mental health might also be affected in consequence of doing too much exercise may also impair
one’s mental health. The pain which they have to undergo can make them feel discouraged and lose their motivation
to do any other practice. Therefore, they will never do physical exercise unless they are forced to do it. This is bad
because doing a suitable amount of physical exercise is a good habit that everyone should have to maintain their
health.
Others may claim that only when people increase the amount of exercise every day, they are able to improve their
body limits. However, this improvement should be practiced gradually, maybe slowly, it has to be suitable for each
one’s health. If someone try too hard, it will be counterproductive.
In conclusion, people should only practice suitably with their health due to the fact that it is harmful to our health to do
too much physical exercise.
- You need to develop your arguments more and provide more relevant supporting information.
- Avoid using the words "good"/"bad"
6
Đào Quỳnh Hương

The health benefit of regular exercise and physical activities are hard to ignore but it is impossible to argue against the
fact that doing too much exercises also hold unexpected dangers.
Firstly, doing too much exercises can have negative impacts on our mental health. Research published in the journal
Preventative Medicine has found out that if you are exercising for more than 7.5 hours a week, you could be prone to
anxiety, depression and poor mental health. As a result of overstressed body, you will always be in a state of
confusion, irritability, anger, and mood swings.
Nextly, not only is over-exercising bad for our mental health but also our physical health. Exercising too much and not
give your muscles time to recover may results in soreness that can seriously hamper your everyday activities.
Moreover, those with heart disease that exercise too much are at a high risk of death from strokes or heart attack.
Some people assert that doing too much physical exercise is harmful to our health, and i completely agree with it. I
think its wise if people would decide to do excercises at a suitable intensity, so that they would not have any problems
with their mental or physical health.;.
- You need to develop your arguments more. In particular, you need to clarify the link between excessive exercising
and the various problems mentioned.
- Pay more attention to spelling and grammar. Review the subject-verb agreement.
4
Nguyễn Đức Minh

The health benefits of regular exercise and physical activities are hard to ignore. Still, it is impossible to argue against
the fact that doing too many exercises also holds unexpected dangers.
First and foremost, too many exercises have a negative impact on their physical health. Especially, the damage will be
more and more grave if they exercise in the wrong way which leads to muscle pain. As well as this, since strenuous
exercise requires the heart needs to work harder to pump blood to the brain, overexertion could damage the heart.
This is mainly because the human body has limits and when the heart can't respond anymore, can cause a negative
effect, the body probably falls into a coma which is also the main reason for heart disease. For example, some people
choose to run as much as possible to lose weight, but the result is that they will possibly take all of these damages
above or even die.
Furthermore, the problem not only severely impacts physical health but also causes serious mental health problems.
For instance, being exhausted from getting out of breath, people will lose motivation to run their daily life. This means
that productivity would certainly decline. Consequently, too much exercise wastes time and excessive consumption of
one's energy, which can contribute to poor health.
In conclusion, I personally believe that more doesn't mean better, it is wise for people if they decide to do exercise at a
suitable intensity, which can bring the best result of working out.
- The writing is quite confusing. You need to provide a much clearer explanation of your claims.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1.5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
4.5
Đỗ Tường Vy
To date, seemingly some people affirm that doing so much physical exercise is injurious to our health. From my
perspective, this belief is completely convincing.
Fundamentally, taking exercise is a great way to improve our health; however, if you use this way too much, it will
surely lead to exhaustion and then create the rise to cardiovascular disease in each person’s robustness. Trying to
have a perfect body that everyone loves, somebody just wants to detract from the time they have to do the gym by an
endeavor to spend heaps of time on it. Our bones will weaken, and then prompt declining each one’s immune system.
There are approximately more than 11,000 people who died due to stroke, and that is the most pivotal proof of the
backside of overload physical exercise.
Secondly, it can occupy one’s time, whenever someone wants to have or do something rapidly, they will give their
“whole life” to make it be done. In a long run, too much physical exercise is not only going to cause many health
problems but also results in less time doing other things.
To recapitulate, actualizing one’s impeccable body in their dreams needs a starkly long time.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using quotation marks and the 1st/2nd person voice.
- You are using quite a few words incorrectly.
- You need to develop your arguments more and explain your claims.
Task Response .5, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
3.5
Nguyễn Minh Khuê

Some people believed that physical activities like gyms, sports, jogging.. etc is good for your body. But they're also
can be harmful to your body if you do it too much. In my opinion, I totally agree with this as physical activities can be
harmfull if people take it to much.
Firsly, taking too much physical activities won't help you much healthier, but it can cause problems for your body.
Exercise more than needed will will make the muscles to not be able to rest and be overloaded, leads to cramps,
ligaments broken, weaken our body. One thing that can also be overload if you exercise too much is the heart. When
exercising, your heart needs to beat faster to pump bloods faster around your body. So if your body is overtraining, the
heart will becomes tired and may cause heart attack. And taking too much can also cause more injury, because when
you are tired, you are prone to injuries. And if people do exercise too much, they will become tired, and may eat more
and more, so their training result will remain little to zero.
Secondly, taking physical activities too much will make people easy to feel despressing especially if they can't reach
their goal, and sometime cause suicide. Some people are addicted to sport, especially men, so they can't stop doing it
similiar to game addicts, drugs addicts, and cause health problems mentioned above.
In conclusion, physical exercise is very good for us if we take it just enough. But it can be harmful if we take it too
seriously.
- You need to proofread your writing. There are numerous basic spelling and punctutation errors.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using contractions, ellipses, and the 1st/2nd person voice.
- Never start a sentence with "and"
Task Response 2, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource .5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
5
Mai Quý Khang

Nowadays, many believe that doing too much exercise can harm your body. In my point of view, I agree that doing
exercise has a lot of benefits, but I can’t ignore the fact that doing it too much can give you unpredictability dangers,
and risks.
In the first place, doing too much exercise can give them a bad effect on your physical health. If they do exercise in the
wrong way for a long period of time, their body will surprisingly be painful instead of giving them good benefits. Doing
too much exercise leading their hearts needs to work harder than they used to. Once it is pushed to the body limit,
their hearts won’t work normally which leads to health problems.
Besides, overexercising can have a significant effect on mood and energy levels. They can have problems with sleep,
and work or even reduce their lack of enjoyment of their hobbies. Firstly, after a high working out, their body will
obviously feel physically tired and drop in energy which is not good for the next day leading to a bad mood during the
day. While moderate exercise can give a night of beauty sleep, and relaxation, doing exercise too much can make
them tired and turn all night due to restlessness and hard sleep. Keep doing exercise over and over again once every
day will reduce the lack of enjoyment in it.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that people should not do too much exercise because doing more doesn’t mean that
it’s better. Doing exercises in a suitable and moderate time will actually give you the best benefits of training.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using contractions and the 2nd person voice.
- You should develop your points more and use more precise, specific language.
Task Response 2, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
5.5
Liêu Quang Hải Long

While physical activity leads to many positive health effects for us, there is a breaking point beyond which overdoing it
is more harmful than beneficial. Exercise performance in the future may also degrade if your body is not given time to
recover after a workout. Your body will perform worse if you don’t give it enough time to heal and you'll find it more
difficult to keep up a regular training routine. Reduced agility, longer reaction times, slower running speeds, can all
contribute to this decline in performance. Extreme endurance training, such as distance running, can sometimes result
in enlarged veins, heart rhythm problems, and heart damage. According to experts, extreme workout places a high
demand on the heart. One study found that repeated intensive activities can be dangerous for the heart. Immune
system suppression is also one indication of overexertion during exercise. High volume and intensity training is also
associated with a greater risk of disease. Additionally, overtraining can result in training errors that involve too much
physical activity soon. Going too fast, exercising for too long or simply doing too much of one type of activity can strain
muscles and develop an injury. Overuse conditions including leg injuries, knee pain, and heel aches can be brought
on by working out too hard.
- You need to organize your writing into paragraphs and make sure it follows a logical progression.
Task Response .5, Coherence and Cohesion .5, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
3
Vu Minh Chau
Nowadays, in the modern world, people are discussing efficient ways to keep fit, such as diets, sports, medicine, and
more. Out of all of them, the most mentioned way is exercise. Some people think that exercising is good for your
health, but others think that excessive exercise causes many problems to our body. Therefore, one should think about
the merits and demerits of their workouts before doing them.
On the one hand, exercise is one of the fastest ways to burn calories. According to numerous studies, running is the
best method to lose calories. The average person can lose about 800 to 1000 calories running for an hour. Other ways
of losing weight are also very effective, such as jumping rope, swimming, and cycling, which can burn around 500 to
600 calories per hour.
On the other hand, exercise can cause many health problems and pains to our bodies and our schedule. To exercise
efficiently, you need much time on your hands, otherwise, the fat that is burned isn't enough to keep you in good
shape. Another problem is that most people get disappointed when no results are gained and then quit their exercise
routine. A great disadvantage of exercise is that it tires people quickly, so they tend to have more breaks from doing it
and lose significantly less fat.
In conclusion, exercise tends to have its upsides and downsides. Henceforth, it requires exercisers to think again
about their workout programs and draw up better ones to lose weight more effectively.
- You need to come up with stronger and more relavant arguments.
- Your essay needs to clearly argue a particular position.
5
Nguyễn Hưng Thịnh

Doing regular physical exercises is the most common way to gain health benefits and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
However, some people take advantage of it and accidentally turn it into a negative effect on health. I fundamentally
agree that doing too much exercises can lead to bad consequences.
First of all, exercising continuously for a long time can result muscle pain. For instance, excessively running can
damage the legs and cause several injuries such as shin splints. Not only that, people can get dehydration since their
body sweats during the training session. If they do not fully refill the fluid that they have lost, they could experience
dizziness and have dry mouth, eyes. Specially, intense exercising can affect the heart in various ways. In particular,
the heart pumping rapidly can lead to shortness of breath. Especially if the heart was working overload, it could result
death.
Secondly, I strongly believed that the more does not always mean better. In fact, doing workouts too much can bring
counterproductive results. Studies have proven that extreme exercises can weaken the muscles overtime, which is
known as muscle fatigue. Beside affecting one’s physical health, it can also have a bad influence on his mental health.
It has been proved that excessive workouts are associated with worse mental stability, especially in men, which can
lead to depression or suicidal activities.
In conclusion, overtraining could lead to severe consequences. Therefore, people should be responsible for their daily
workout routine. Exercising moderately can help people gain health benefits, but they should not let greed take control
of their behavior and lead to unwanted results.
6
Nguyễn Ngọc Anh

A person’s health is affected heavily by physical exercises. While doing them correctly in a right amount of strength
may keep yourself fit and healthy, over-exercising can actually be harmfully lead your health to some tragic results.
Therefore, I personally think it is essential to balance daily’s physical exercise without overdoing it too much.
One the one hand, regular exercise provides numerous benefits. Specifically, it can help people strengthen their
bones and muscles, that could improve their ability to do everyday activities. Not only that, it could also reduce the risk
of getting diseases as exercising would enhances the immune system of people. For instance, some people during the
pandemic would prevent themselves from catching the virus by productively doing indoor activities like push ups,
planks, squats as well as eating healthily everyday. Even if those people caught covid, they would still be in the better
condition compare to others as the result of them working out frequently.
One the other hand, too much exercising can adversely affect one’s health. In particular, it can cause one injuries,
making their sore bones hurt and limbs feeling heavy. Worse, it could damage their heart and brain, leading to serious
needs of doctor or maybe even death! Next, over-exercising could also trouble people sleep the night before that
leads to disability to perform best at school or work the next day. Furthermore, lack of sleeping not only make you feel
irritative with everyone around but also reduce your concentration on works. Also, you can even have mood swings all
suddenly and would burst into tears out of nowhere.
To sum up, I believe over-exercising is very unhealthful and dangerous. Balance is important in life. So don’t
overstrain yourself from those unnecessary works.
- You need to analyze the disadvantages of excessive training in more detail. In particular, you need to clearly
establish the link between overtraining and the various problems identified.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using contractions, exclamation points, and the 2nd person voice.
- There are quite a few word order issues.
5
Lương Minh Ánh

It is universal knowledge that exercising is one of the best ways to train our bodies and improve our health. However,
some believe that too much exercise can actually have a negative impact on our bodies. I side with this statement for
several reasons.
On the one hand, excessive exercise can cause exhaustion in one’s body because of sore muscles or overuse
injuries. Resulting in performance, lack of concentration, feeling under the weather, and being unable to handle a task
at the same level. Not only that overtraining cause damage to the heart and compromise the immune system. Such as
running, a high-impact exercise, but without balance, an overtime term increases the risk for an overuse injury.
Exercising leads to a healthy life, but without balance, it ends up doing far more harm than good.
On the other hand, too much physical exercise adversely affects our personal lives. While our performance decreases,
overtraining affects our stress hormone levels. Which is the culprit of regular mood swings and depression. Appetites
will be altered, as overexercising might make us hungry nonstop. Important things such as work, family, or even sleep
won’t be prioritized more than workouts. Workouts can be driven by stress, and extreme anxiety and guilt shall be felt
just thinking about missing one workout. This way, our mental health wouldn’t be improved but hard to maintain.
To sum up, anyone should consider the impact of overexercising on the body before pushing their own limits.
- Avoid using the passive voice.
- You need to make sure your sentences follow a logical progression.
- The writing is ungrammatical at times. Pay more attention to the structure of your sentences.
4
Ngô Thị Minh Diệp

Nowadays, people always want to have a good health and one of the most popular activities people choose to do is
doing execises. Doing exercises can bring many good effects on health, but too much physical exercises can actually
be dangerous for some people. Therefore, each person should in an extent that is suitable for them.
On the one hand, doing physical exercices is definitely beneficial for our health. It helps us keep fit, reduces
cholesterol in our blood and makes us become stronger healthier. It also good for our mind and mental health. You
can feel relaxed when doing execises when you get used to it. Doing exercises can also make us feel happier and
more confident. Doing physical exercies everyday is highly recommended by the doctor and scientists for its benefits,
especially with people who are obese.
On the other hand, doing too much exercises can be harmful. If a normal person do as many exercises as an athelete
do, they can be exhausted and dehydrated which can lead to critical condition or death. People who have heart
disease musn't do many exercises because it can cause a stroke. Doing too many exercises in a wrong way can also
breaks your bone or cause pain. You might go to the hospital and it can take a long time to recover.
In conclusion, doing exercices is extremely good and nessessary if you want to have a good heath but you must be
careful and do moderate execises because it can have unexpected danger.
- Make sure to proofread your writing. There are numerous basic spelling errors.
Task Response 1.5, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource .5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
4.5
Phạm Nguyễn Quỳnh Chi

The rising trend of doing physical exercise has led some to question whether or not exercising too frequently is good
for our health. Although Many people claim that strenuous physical exercise brings numerous benefits, however, I
strongly believe that doing too much workouts can pose serious mental and physical risks.
First of all, doing physical activities consistently could lead to muscle pain in one’s body. When doing exercise, one’s
muscle will have to work continuously in order to keep up with the body’s needs, which will lead to muscle strains. The
risk of injuries, such as tiny bone cracks, runner’s knee, and joint pain can also be increased. Moreover, over -
exercising can even weaken the immune system particularly when it comes to long-term endurance exercise, like
marathon running or intense gym training. Research has found that exercising strenuously everyday for a long period
of time can increase risks of sickness.
In addition, over -exercising can have significant effects on one’s mental health, in particular, mood and energy levels.
Overtraining usually results from not giving oneself enough rest in between workouts, not getting enough nutrition for
the exercise, exercising too intensely, or not cutting back on workouts when being sick or faced with too many other
pressure. Studies show that, the tiredness and low energy associated with over -exercising can cause irritation and
anger. One may even have problems with sleep, which could result in problems with school or work, and lack of
enjoyment of one’s typical interests and hobbies.
In conclusion, over -exercising results in serious mental and physical problems. Therefore, people must not do it
intensely for their health’s sake.
7.5
Lâm Vũ Kỳ
Doing too much physical exercise is stated to be damaging to human health. In this essay, I fully agree with the
statement given that: over-exercising can have an impact on health.
Firstly, over-exercising negatively impacts physical health. Some studies have shown that extreme exercise can wreak
your heart, tendons, ligaments, and immune system. For women, for instance, researchers showed women who
physically exercise at least once a week are less likely to have a heart attack or stroke. However, it is shown that the
chance of heart attacks is higher for women who exercise aggressively daily. Then, instead of providing more benefits,
excessive exercise only affects badly on human health, both men and women.
Not only does excessive exercise harm your heart, but it also adversely affects badly on your mental health. People
believed that the more exercise you do, the better your mental health gets, but researchers suggest that this is not the
case. They have studied that exercise for longer than 90-minute sessions is associated with poorer mental health.
They could be getting physically exhausted or burned out, both of which might make them feel stressed or devoured.
To recapitulate, exercise might improve health rate but people should not overdo it.
- You need to come up with stronger arguments and provide more relevant supporting information.
4.5
Lê Khánh Hòa
It is certainly understandable that exercise is considered an essential part of a healthy lifestyle as it provides
numerous benefits. On the other hand, some argue that excessive physical activity is actually harmful to one’s health.
In my opinion, I agree that over-exercising can indeed result in negative impacts on both physical and mental health.
To begin with, an overloaded amount of exercise may severely affect one’s physical condition seriously. The human
body will soon become worn out under the effects of too many workouts. Damages will be particularly severe if
exercising is done incorrectly, resulting in muscle pain. In addition, strenuous exercise requires the heart must work
harder to pump blood to the brain. This is primarily due to the fact that the human body has its limits, and when the
heart stops responding, it can have a negative effect, causing one's body to fall into a coma, which is also a major
cause of heart disease. Moreover, overtraining on a regular basis can lead to minor injuries like sore muscles or heavy
limbs, and much more serious ones such as muscle strains, stress fractures, or tendon injuries.
Secondly, too much exercising can not only harm one’s physical condition but also their mental health. It might lead to
stress and exhausts the mind, which weakens the entire mental condition. To be more precise, when stress hormones
are out of balance, it might be difficult to relax and let go of tension before going to bed. This reduces the amount of
time one's body needs to relax, heal, and replenish itself when sleeping. Additionally, arising stress hormone levels
cause depression, mental fog, and regular mood swings. It also impacts mental health by leading to restlessness and
a lack of concentration or enthusiasm.
In the final analysis, on the one hand, the benefits of exercising can not be denied. However, too much exercise can
be damaging not only to physical but also to mental health.
- You should pay more attention to sentence order and the way you develop your arguments.
6.5
Nguyễn Tường Vi
In recent years, people's approaches toward physical exercise have changed in many ways. Specifically, Many tend to
believe that too much physical exertion will cause harm to their health. This is mainly due to the scientific proof against
taking too many physical exercises. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with this opinion for the following
reasons.
In the first place, the human body cannot handle too much physical exercise. Experts insist intense exercise puts a
significant amount of strain on the heart under extreme physical stress, especially for those who are diagnosed with
heart disease. An excessive amount of workouts may not give out the wanted results but will leave scars on the body.
Injuries are unavoidable when it comes to sports, some may leave an ick on the skin, such as bruises or sprains, but
serious ones may permanently prevent the body from functioning properly, such as concussions.
In addition, overly exercising may cause insomnia, which will eventually leads to tiredness, unproductivity and poor
performance in daily life. People will also lose interest in working out. They no longer find taking exercises fun and
helpful since it does not give instant results, so they give up afterwards.
All things considered, taking too many exercises is no doubt harmful to health. Not only is it ineffective, but also a
deadly way to approach fitness.
Task Response 1, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1.5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
5
Nguyễn Hà Linh
I totally agree with the statement. The benefits of doing physical activities are hard to ignore but working out
excessively can hold many unexpected dangers.
First of all, exercising for too long can have an negative impact on physical health. The more people exercises, the
higher the chances of getting injuries. For example, if a human-being pumps iron far beyond their stamina and their
body can take, they might break their backbone, damage the muscles,... . Besides, since strenuous exercise requires
the heart will have to work harder in order to pump blood to the brain, leading to comas and even worse is heart
diseases.
Second of all, excessive exercising too hard in a short period of time can not only damage physical health, but also
their mental health. Due to being exhausted after a long training session, people tend to lose their motivation to keep
working out daily. Therefore, reducing overall reductivity.
Last but not least, having many injuries means spending more money on health services. Hospitals, massages, pills
are the choices people would go with. So instead of wasting money, they should reduce the tendency of working out
and enjoy their life more instead.
In conclusion, doing exercises is important, but be careful of working too hard and end up hurting oneself.
- The writing is too informal. Avoid using ellipses and the 2nd person voice.
4
Hoàng Gia Huy

Exercising is a good way for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It is an efficient way for losing weight and staying in shape.
However, in some cases, it does more harm than good and deteriorates one’s health conditions. Excessive exercising
is one of the common causes. Therefore, everyone should know the limits to their abilities and so know when to stop.
Firstly, Physical exercising done too much leads to injuries and many health issues. Specifically, excessive exercising
makes the body work harder than it could, which weakens the body and causes muscle injuries along with organ
problems. For instance, despite the risks, various athletes pushed their body too hard expecting to improve their
athletic performance. As a result, they heavily injured their body and even ended up hospitalized.
In addition, excessive exercising damages individuals mentally. Particularly, overtraining brings on psychological
problems such as depression and insomnia due to the stress. For example, many people overtrain aiming for good
and quick results, instead worsened their their health, leading to depression. They must receive psychological
treatment from a doctor or encouragement from a family member.
Nowadays, many health shows have been made in order to prevent people from exercising the wrong way such as
overdoing physical exercises and to teach people the right balance between working and resting.
In conclusion, exercising too much leads to many serious physical and mental health problems both mentally and
physically. Thus one should consider their limits to working out, decide which type of exercise are suitable for them to
achieve the best results.
6
Võ Anh Quân
Exercise is widely regarded as a considerable benefit to people's health. However, there is a growing consensus that
too much exercise is actually detrimental to one's health. I firmly agree that excessive exercise is harmful to one's
health due to two reasons: physical health and mental health decline.
First, immoderate physical exercise can deteriorate one's physical health. In particular, too much exercise can lead to
severe injuries, critical diseases, such as cardiovascular or respiratory ones. Moreover, it can result in constant
fatigue, which causes one's overall performance, whether at schools or at work, to plummet. For example, most young
athletes try to train excessively, leading them to suffer from injuries like stress fractures and making them too fatigued
to proceed with their training.
Second, unrestrained physical activities can exacerbate mental health. To be more specific, too much exercise can
lead to lack of incentive to reach one's goal, consequently affecting adversely their academic performance. In addition,
it can also engender mental problems such as depression and anxiety, aggravating one's mental and overall health.
In conclusion, excessive physical exercise not only is harmful to one's physical health but also cause one's mental
problems. Therefore, people should attempt to evaluate the appropriate amount of exercise for themselves and make
an effort to avoid overexercising.
- There are a few word order issues.
7.5
Nguyễn Tuấn Anh

Workout is an indispensable part of a healthy lifestyle, but some people claim that doing too much physical training
has detrimental effects on our health. From my perspective, I fundamentally agree with this opinion.
The first point that I would like to make is extremely intensive or competitive sport may be pernicious for mental health.
Some researchers show that athletes who train extremely hard are at risk of overtraining syndrome which can lead to
extended fatigue. Notably, people who overtrain tend to feel guilty or anxious is they do not exercise. Consequently,
these individuals may continue training although they are injured or sick, they even skip work and social events to
exercise. In addition, exercising extravagantly and constantly expending calories, "low energy accessibility" can result,
which is due to the body exhausting its own energy stores.
Secondarily, excessive exercise can cause anorexia, this because of hormone imbalance impacts hunger and satiety
processes. Although increased exercise can boost hunger, over-exercising may do the opposite thing. Therefore,
weight loss may be a significant issue in those who do overtrain. Moreover, doing exercise redundantly can decrease
metabolism. Low-energy availability over a long time negatively affects various organ systems and result in iron
deficiency anemia or low bone density.
In conclusion, doing workout can ward off obesity or strengthen bones, boost both our mental and physical health but
too much strenuous exercise can be very harmful.
- You need to clearly explain your arguments.
- The writing should be organized more logically.

Task Response 1.5, Coherence and Cohesion 1, Lexical Resource 1.5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
5.5
Trần Gia Thúy An

I wholeheartedly agree with performing excessive physical exercise is damaging our health. This essay will attempt to
elaborate on why does the problem occur.
First of all, too much of everything is good for nothing. Exercising is supposed to be beneficial, but not when done
outrageously. Extreme practice higher the chance of getting injuries from exercise. For women who exercised
strenuously everyday, researchers studied that they take the risk to higher the chance of getting a heart attack. On the
other hand, man who took physical exercises too intense tend to be more stressed at the end of the day. People's
immune system can be suppressed, by overdoing physical training, making it harder to stave off infections, for
instance: respiratory infections.
Second of all, people recognized that their athletic performance is slowly decreased, regardless of increased training
intensity or volume. This performance decrease can be related to impaired agility, slower reaction times, reduced
running speeds, and decreased strength/endurance. To boot, overtraining can lead to loss of motivation.
Finally, working out for an unreasonable amount of time can change normal practice to compulsive exercising. This
happens when exercise no longer feels like an activity that people choose to do, but rather people feel like they have
to do. People suffers from this might not enjoy doing exercises anymore, or even feel anxious, depressed when they
don't exercise.
In conclusion, doing unrestrained physical activities might harm our strength.
- Avoid using contractions and the 1st person voice.
- You need to organize your arguments more logically and develop them more.
- Pay more attention to writing a proper introduction and conclusion. You should also review the concept of a topic
sentence.
4
Phạm Tùng Lâm

Physical Exercises are becoming one of the most popular activities to maintain a healthy lifestyle these days. I strongly
believe that doing those can do wonders to people's health.
Firstly, doing exercises regularly clearly helps muscles and bones to be stronger. Building and keeping healthy
muscles and bones depend heavily on exercise. This is due to the fact that exercise encourages the production of
hormones that assist your muscles. This fosters their development and lessens their breakdown. People tend to lose
muscular mass and function as they become older, which might increase their risk of getting hurt. Regular physical
exercise is crucial to halting muscular deterioration and preserving strength as people age.
Secondly, exercise is scientifically proved to help mental health. They can help elevate moods and lessen stress,
anxiety, and depressive symptoms. The areas of the brain that control stress and anxiety undergo alterations as a
result. Moreover, exercise can also boost endorphin production, which is known to assist create happy sensations and
lessen the sense of pain.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that exercises are a great way to live a happy life both mentally and physically.
- Pay more attention to the prompt and make sure you provide relevant arguments.

Task Response .5, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1.5, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1
4.5
Trần Linh San

While it has often been said that physical exercise is good for our health, recent experiments have shown that the
opposite of this may also be true. There is a growing public opinion that too much exercise could also be detrimental
to one's health. As a keen observer of the developing trend, I completely agree that too much exercise could harm our
health. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss my reasons for supporting this belief.
Firstly, doing too much exercise could harm our physical health. When people exercise too much, they have to
breathe faster, and their heart needs to beat harder to bring blood to all parts of their body. However, The human body
has its limits, and, when the intensity of the exercise increases, it can't adapt quickly enough to the new conditions and
therefore create harmful effects on the body. For example, many people take up running to lose weight, so they try to
run as much as possible in a single day, unknowingly harming their bodies.
Secondly, the problem doesn't only lie in the detrimental effects on physical health but also causes serious mental
health problems. For instance, being exhausted after doing too much exercise could lead to people losing motivation
to live their life. For example, being tired after doing too much exercise could lead to people losing motivation to live
their life normally.
Lastly, I believe that more doesn't mean better, and people must choose the intensity they want to exercise at, so they
can bring out the most of them when they are exercising.
In conclusion, the evidence shown in the previous paragraph strongly supports the idea that too much physical
exercise is detrimental to our health.
(Revised version, final one)
5
Cù Nguyễn Gia Huy

Everyone must have heard once in your life the complaint of your parents about always staring at the phone and go
out for exercise. The plain fact is that physical exertion can help improve your health and prevent syndrome. For
example, former President Obama encourages young people to play basketball. But, on the other hand, overexertion
may bring on heart disease,etc. In my opinion, I totally agree with fully outlook that workout always bring goods to our
body.
Firstly, overexertion can cause an irregular heartbeat. Needless to say, practice call us for endurance, and this may
cause erratic heart-beat (arrhythmia). In particular, blood flow sometimes can't pump enough blood to our brain, cell
and leads to stroke. Without prompt treatment, there is a high mortality rate. For instance, according to the European
Heart Journal, excessive exercise can adversely affect the health of the cardiovascular system.
Secondly, an overactive person may face a high risk of illness and bedridden. The main reason is there is a hormone
makes fractures in these people more likely to occur. Besides, there is a psychological burden on everybody. The
biochemical marketr are similar to those with chronic depression. People who exercise too much have similar
behavioral manifestations such as irritability, insomnia, and poor motivation.
Last but not least,many people still believe that the more exercise, the healthier are. This concept is extremely wrong
and needs to be corrected.
In conclusion, sport activities are very good but need to be managed properly at all events.
Individuals must dominate the time get on with their body in order to avoid unfortunate consequences.
- Pay more attention to punctuation. Every sentence must end with a period.
- The writing is far too informal. Avoid using contractions, abbreviations, and the 1st/2nd person voice.
- You need to develop your arguments more logically and in more detail.
- You need to clearly state your position and stick to it throughout the essay.
4.5
Đỗ Chí Hiếu
Physical exercise is an important thing that everyone must do to maintain good health. However, it is virtually
impractical to deny that doing such things in an extended amount of time can cause a minor to massive impact on our
well-being. In this paragraph, I will discuss my reasons supporting this belief.
First, excessive exercising adversely affects physical health. Specifically, too much causes muscle damage and
developing muscle pain, which to most people is already discomforting to go on throughout the day. In addition, the
heart has to work harder and pump faster. Everything has limits, and so does the heart. Doing so for a prolonged time
can stop beating, carry no blood to every corner of the body, and cause great danger to one's health. Besides, much
sweat is produced when exercising for an extended period; it can make a person go down with a fever if not cool down
tamely.
Second, apart from physical health, mental health is also equally damaged. Suppose a person unluckily gets ill
because of too much physical activity. In that case, it can cause trauma to that person and may forever draw a line
between that sporting activity or doing exercise and the person. Even if the person gets exhausted during their
exercise session, it can worsen their day by a fair amount; their productivity and comfort will also decline.
Based on the arguments cited above, while exercising is the best to maintain our well-being, doing it sufficiently and
properly brings the highest quality of exercising to our overall health.
- The writing is confusing at times.
Task Response 1.5, Coherence and Cohesion 1.5, Lexical Resource 1, Grammatical Range and Accuracy 1.5
5.5
Lê Đức Khang Duy

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While exercise is thought to be good for the health, recent exercise trends have shown that the opposite

- You are well under the minimum word count.

- The writing is confusing and ungrammatical at times.

Nguyễn Trung Hiếu

- The writing is wordy and repetitive at times.

Đặng Minh Hoàng

- Your sentences tend to be overlong.

Bùi Hải Trung

- Avoid using contractions.

Lê Nguyễn Nguyệt Minh

- You are under the minimum word count.

- Avoid using the 2nd person voice.

Nguyen Duc Tam

- You are well under the minimum word count.

Vũ Hồng Anh

- You are under the minimum word count.

Phạm Duy Thiện Nhân

- You are under the minimum word count.

- Avoid using the 1st and 2nd person voice.

- You also need to use more effective transitions.

- You are under the minimum word count.

- Avoid using contractions.

Liu Lực Huy

- Avoid using contractions and the 2nd person voice.

Nguyễn Bảo Lâm

- You need to come up with stronger, more relevant arguments.

Nguyễn Bùi Vân Hiền

- You are under the minimum word count.

- The writing is too informal. Avoid using contractions and ellipses.

- You need to come up with stronger, more relevant arguments.

Nguyễn Diễm Anh

- The writing should be more concise.

- Avoid using contractions.

Bùi Ngọc Minh Phúc

- You are well under the minimum word count.

- Avoid using the 1st person voice.

Đặng Hoàng Tuệ Anh

1) Any potentially negative consequences of strenuous training are relatively mild

- Some of your arguments are not logically sound.

- Avoid using the 1st person voice.

Ngô Thu Phương

- The writing is ungrammatical at times.

- The writing is far too wordy.

- Avoid using contractions.

Nguyễn Đỗ Anh Dũng

- Avoid using contractions and the 1st person voice.

- You should review the concept of a topic sentence.

- You are well under the minimum word count.

- You need to develop your arguments much more.

- Your sentences tend to be overlong.

Nguyễn Ngọc Đan Lê

- You should develop your arguments more logically.

Nguyễn Xuân Ngọc Khánh

- You are well under the minimum word count.

Nguyễn Võ Quỳnh Anh

- Make sure you clearly state your position.

Nguyễn Phạm Châu Anh

- You are well under the minimum word count.

- You need to organize your writing into paragraphs.

- Avoid using the 1st and 2nd person voice.

- Pay more attention to punctuation. Every comma or a period is followed by a space.

Nguyễn Minh Anh

- Avoid using the 1st person voice.