WRITING A THESIS STATEMENT

This activity will give you practice in writing an effective thesis—one that is neither too broad nor too
narrow for the supporting points in an essay. An added value of the activity is that sometimes you will
construct your thesis after you have decided what your supporting points will be. You will need to know,
then, how to write a thesis that will match exactly the points that you have developed.

1. Thesis ___________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________

a. All the resorts, from beaches to mountains to amusement parks, charge top dollar at this
time.
b. The heat and humidity during the summer months make traveling extremely
uncomfortable.
c. Highways, campsites, and motels are jammed with other vacationers.

2. Thesis ___________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________

a. Daydreaming allows us to exercise our imaginations.

b. Time spent daydreaming can aid relaxation and help eliminate stress.
c. Often, solutions to difficult problems pop into the mind while a person daydreams.

3. Thesis ___________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________

a. Cutting down on salt will reduce water retention and that bloated feeling.
b. Salt reduction may also help hypertension.
c. Without salt, the natural flavors of food come through.

4. Thesis ___________________________________________________________________________

a. A digital camera permits on-the-spot deletion of poorly-shot photos.

b. Using a digital camera eliminates pricey film developing costs.
c. Unlike film cameras, digital cameras have the capacity for many more consecutive
photos.
IDENTIFYING INTRODUCTIONS AND CONCLUSIONS

The box below lists six common kinds of introductions and three common kinds of conclusions. Read the
two sets of introductory and concluding paragraphs that follow. Then, in the space provided, write the
number of the kind of introduction or conclusion used in each case.

Introductions Conclusions

1. General to narrow 1. Summary and final thought

2. Starting with an opposite 2. Question(s)
3. Stating importance of topic 3. Prediction or recommendation
4. Incident or story
5. Question(s)
6. Quotation

______ Some of my most successful friends cannot balance a budget. I know an

assistant manager in a bank who can’t keep track of how much money is in his own
checking account. My sister-in-law, a registered nurse, depends on overdrawn
notices from the bank to let her know when she runs out of funds. These are both
intelligent individuals, but managing their own finances causes them to sing the
blues. Although I am not a whiz at math, I keep my budget in harmony by
following a few simple hints. . . .

______ So, by keeping my financial records organized in one place, by keeping track of
my income and expenses in a simple ledger book, and by keeping my check stubs
filled out each time I write a check or make a deposit, I find that balancing my
budget can be painless. And knowing how much money I have left at the end of the
month makes life a lot easier.

______ Crime is increasing, pollution threatens our planet, and widespread poverty
lowers the quality of human life. Surely these are enormous problems that have
little to do with fuzzy thinking or imprecise language. George Orwell, however,
believes that language does influence events; in his essay, “Politics and the English
Language,” he argues that the misuse of language obscures clear thinking. This
distorted thinking, in turn, allows political corruption to flourish. If Orwell were to
update his essay to our own time, he would see that the state of the English
language has declined even further. . . .

______ The use of vague and dishonest language is dangerous. Language is filled with
meaning, and its continued abuse and manipulation could have frightening
consequences. We are more likely to follow leaders who talk about “nuclear
deterrence” or “concentration camps” than ones who speak openly of war or
genocide. The misuse of language could literally kill us.
OUTLINING AN ESSAY I

Read the essay below. Then outline it on a separate sheet of paper. Write out the thesis statement and
topic sentences, and list the three major points that fit under each topic sentence.

Escape Reading

Everyone needs to escape from a dull routine. Escape can sometimes be dangerous—if a
person turns to alcohol or drugs, for instance. But escaping into a sport or hobby can be a
healthy way to turn off the daily pressures. My escape hatch is reading books that carry me to
other times and places.

I often escape, first of all, into spy stories. These books are usually set in exotic lands I’m
sure I will never actually see. Spies, for example, pass information to each other in a market in
Tokyo, a cafe in Venice, or an airport in Bombay. In addition, spy novels are filled with
fascinating marvels of technology. James Bond has his Lotus car equipped with smokescreen and
machine gun controls, of course, but even less-glamorous spies use cameras the size of
matchboxes and microphones that pick up conversations miles away. The intricate, twisted plots
of spy stories also aid the sensation of total escape. Keeping up with the secret agents, the
counterspies, and the double crosses occupies my mind completely. I don’t worry about
whether my car will pass inspection when I’m trying to figure out which American agent is really
working for the KGB.

A second kind of escape reading I enjoy is the Western. A book by Zane Grey or Louis
L’Amour is filled with the atmosphere of a long-ago era. I can live for a time in a town like Dodge
City; I can almost see the dusty main street, the raised wooden sidewalks, and the women
wearing calico sunbonnets. The Western also helps me escape by providing plenty of action.
Almost every page puts me in the midst of a cattle roundup, a gunfight, or a galloping posse. The
non-stop action won’t allow my mind to wander back to the real world until I turn the last page.
Finally, a Western tempts me to escape into it because the story usually describes a simpler, less
confusing world than my own. The characters are either good guys or bad guys, and it is easy to
tell the difference. In the Old West, justice always triumphs in the end.

The final and most enjoyable escape I know is reading horror stories. For one thing, such
stories keep me interested because the authors create fascinating imaginary monsters. A story
about a slimy creature that emerges from a graveyard or a huge, hundred-pound rat that lives in
a basement is a story that blanks out reality. Horror stories introduce me to imaginary places as
well. A horror tale can be set in a series of tunnels beneath the Antarctic ice sheet or in another
dimension that exists only in a spooky old house. Pure shock, however, is what makes horror
stories sure-fire escapes. The problems I have at work could never be as bad, for example, as the
horrible situations Stephen King’s characters endure. As I read about a woman being chased by
a rabid St. Bernard, or a little boy being pursued by an insane and murderous father, I forget the
outside world completely.

The members of my family have learned to leave me in peace when I escape into my books.
They know that giving me such time means that I will be easier to live with. After I have returned
from a dangerous spy mission, a Western shoot-out, or a house of horror, I can deal more calmly
with everyday crises at home.
DIAGRAM OF AN ESSAY

To write an effective essay, first prepare an outline, using a form like the one below.

Intro- Thesis Statement ____________________________________________________________

duction __________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________

Topic Sentence 1 ____________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________
Specific __________________________________________________________
Supporting________________________________________________________
Evidence _________________________________________________________

Topic Sentence 2 ____________________________________________________________

Body
para- Specific _________________________________________________________________
graphs Supporting
Evidence _________________________________________________________

Topic Sentence 3 ____________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________
Specific __________________________________________________________
Supporting________________________________________________________
Evidence _________________________________________________________

Conclu- Summary and/or Closing Remarks ______________________________________________

sion __________________________________________________________________________
PROVIDING TRANSITIONS

In the spaces provided, add appropriate transitions to tie together the sentences and ideas in the
following essay. Draw from the words given in the box below.

finally but for example in addition another

as a result one second for instance first of all

Hooked on Buying

Every day, Americans head out in droves for our country’s department stores, discount
centers, and shopping malls. We all have to buy something we think we really need or we feel is
an incredible bargain. In reality, though, we are just ready for another fix of our favorite drug:
shopping. There are several reasons why we seem to have turned into a nation of consumer
junkies.
______________________ , Americans believe in competition, even when it comes
to acquiring possessions. We feel like losers if we don’t own the cars, appliances, clothes,
and furniture our neighbors and friends own. _______________________ , the Browns’
four-year-old car will seem fine until the Smiths next door buy a brand-new model. Then
the competitive instinct to stay ahead in the game sends the Browns out scouting the new
car lots. ___________________ , the competitive urge tells us that people’s success in life
is measured by how much they own. So we admire those with the most material possessions,
the ones who own three cars or enough shoes to fill a walk-in closet.
A _________________________ reason for our addiction to consumer goods is the
American belief that “new is better.” It is possible to fix a broken toaster, mend torn
clothing, or make do with an outdated refrigerator. _____________________ we prefer to
throw out the old and buy the new. _______________________ , we have junkyards and
dumps bursting with the still-usable items we no longer want. Instead of reusing or recycling,
which would make more economic sense, we throw away.
________________________ , our buying habit is maintained and encouraged by
advertisers. We are bombarded by television and print ads that carry seductive messages.
___________________ of these messages is that buying a particular product—a stereo, a
motorcycle, or a dishwasher,______________________—is all that is needed to make the
purchaser happy. _____________________ message is that buying a certain product will
make the user a better, more attractive person. Every shampoo, makeup, or cologne tries to
convince us that a single item can transform us into the ideal self we fantasize about.
In this country, shopping satisfies our psychological needs. We are truly hooked
on the thrill that comes from passing cash or plastic over a store counter and receiving some
new possession in return.
EVALUATING AN ESSAY FOR UNITY

The supporting paragraphs in the essay below contain four irrelevant sentences that do not relate to the
thesis of the paper or support the topic sentences of the paragraph in which they appear. Read the
essay carefully; then write the numbers of the four irrelevant sentences in the spaces provided at the
bottom.
The Dangers of Housecleaning
1Many of the dangers of modern life are not out on the highway or in the workplace. 2Instead, dangers
lurk where they are least unexpected: at home. 3I don’t mean the dangers of faulty wiring, cheap ladders, or
leaking microwaves. 4No, I’ve found that trying to keep a clean house can be very hazardous to my health.

5For one thing, it does not pay to keep a clean kitchen. 6The oven, for instance, fights back. 7Whenever I
stick my head into the oven’s greasy interior to spray it with Easy-Off, I end up being choked by a chemical cloud.
8I am glad I don’t live in the city, where I would have to put up with air pollution as well. 9When I scrub off the
foam, I always break off my nails on the black, rock-hard globs cemented to the oven door. 10Cleaning the
refrigerator can be dangerous, too. 11As I lean down to wipe out the vegetable drawer, the open freezer lies in
wait. 12It knows I must straighten up again, and that I will inevitably bang my head on the freezer door. 13Garbage
bags also resist tidiness. 14When I pull a bag out of the kitchen can, seams split and liquid seeps out onto my
shoes. 15A jagged can lid slices through the bag, ready to slash my legs if I should bump the bag. 16The only bags
that don’t rip open, it seems, are the ones that cost a fortune to buy.

17The living room becomes another danger zone when I attempt to clean. 18The light fixtures on the ceiling,
for example, resent being taken down for cleaning. 19They refuse to come loose from the screws that anchor them;
then they drop like rocks to the floor. 20Moving furniture to vacuum the rug underneath causes trouble, too. 21If I
drag a heavy armchair across the rug, one of its legs will snap off. 22If I try to lift one side of the heavy sofa, the
vacuum cord will wrap around my ankle and trip me. 23Moving furniture in general is a lot easier to do when you
have someone to help you.

24Finally, the most dangerous room to clean is the bathroom. 25The bathtub will seek revenge if I try to
clean it, for instance. 26It will become so slippery that even a rubber bathmat won’t stay put. 27My particular
bathtub has such a curved bottom anyway that it is a hazard to stand in whether it is clean or not. 28Taking a
shower in my clean tub can end up in a disastrous slip. 29The bathroom floor, too, enjoys a layer of dirt. 30A clean,
waxed floor will attract any stray drops of water in the room in order to turn itself into a slippery skating rink. 31A
job that always leads to danger is cleaning out the medicine cabinet over the sink. 32No matter how careful I am,
glass bottles have a way of spilling from the shelves and shattering in the sink. 33And finding all the missing slivers
is impossible no matter how well I clean up. 34Later, as I pad into the bathroom, a glass splinter will dig itself into
my foot.

35After the experiences I have had in my house, I have decided that keeping a clean house is not as
important as I thought. 36I would rather live with the dust and grime—and stay healthy.

Numbers of the four irrelevant sentences: _____ _____ _____ _____