Building Hope After the Pandemic

It's easy to lose hope during challenging times, but here are some tips.
Posted May 28, 2021 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

KEY POINTS

Being hopeful involves cultivating compassion, empathy, and support.

Insights from the Dalai Lama can provide valuable lessons, such as that altruism is superior to
anger.
One silver lining of the pandemic may be that it fostered a sense of connectedness around the
world.

While most of us in the United States are starting to feel the cloud of the pandemic lifting, there
were times during the past 16 months when many of us lost our sense of hope. The uncertainty
surrounding the entire situation as well as conflicting news reports produced a great deal
of anxiety and stress. While initially many of us thought that the quarantine would only last for a
few months, it didn’t take us long to figure out that there was no clear end in sight.

Hope Gets Us Through Darkness

However, during times of darkness, we need to remember that hope can always get us through.
Those of us who are healers know how to instill hope, but reminders are always helpful. When
broaching a discussion about hope with a client, the best way to start is by asking someone what
they fear most, as in: “What’s the biggest monster in your head?” This conversation elicits
exploration and further deepens the conversation.

What Is Hope?

Hope is about offering a sense of compassion, empathy, and emotional support. It is ignited in
the heart, where passion, perseverance, and faith meet. It’s also about creating a safe space for
those who feel hopeless. And often just talking about hope is empowering, bringing about deeper
self-awareness and understanding.

How to Foster Hope

Another way to foster hope in others is to shift the focus of the conversation to gratitude. We
know that being grateful contributes to a sense of well-being and overall life purpose. This is
particularly helpful during a pandemic, a time when depression and suicide are on the rise.
Studies have shown that providing hope to suicidal individuals can help them change their
perspectives and rise above debilitating thoughts.

As a man who has survived many challenging times in his life, His Holiness the Dalai Lama is
someone we can turn to when we need to feel a sense of hope. In a recent conversation between
him and novelist Pico Iyer through the University of California, Santa Barbara, the Dalai Lama
acknowledged that the pandemic is very serious and very sad, and that we are all so afraid.
“That’s not useful,” he said. He suggested that as a society, we need to attack the virus through
research and science.

He stressed the idea of negative emotions being destructive, and that positive emotions such
as altruism (the opposite of anger), compassion, and enthusiasm can help us overcome these
difficulties. “Pay more attention to your mind,” he suggested. Also, he said that watching and
reading too much news can be harmful to our psyches and that we must limit our exposure.
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Thinking Positively

By thinking positively, we can say that from all bad comes good. Serious situations like a
pandemic can wake us up to reality and help us see what’s important so that we can reevaluate
our lives. “Difficulties help to open our mind and help us use our intelligence without losing our
courage,” said the Dalai Lama. The result is healing and transformation. He said that emotions
such as anger can destroy our peace of mind and be counterproductive.

It’s important to consider the silver linings of the pandemic. The fact is that in many ways, it
brought us all together as a global society. We became interconnected as we all dealt with the
same issue of disease prevention and treatment while also trying to figure out how to survive.
Suddenly, there was a common denominator among us that transcended borders. This helped us
focus more on similarities than on differences and showed us that we are at a time of transition
where old structures might be dying, and new ones may be emerging. In some situations, this
was difficult to observe, but it was like spring cleaning, where you always feel better after
decluttering.

So the next time you’re feeling stressed by the pandemic or any other seemingly overwhelming
and unsolvable problem, try to summon up feelings of hope and optimism. You may find that the
new perspective this creates makes everything seem a lot more palatable.
Finding hope during a pandemic
AUG 12, 2021 10:00 AM PHT
STEPH ARNALDO

“Holding on to hope can feel impossible” – here's what you can do to help keep it alive

Raise your hand if you’ve experienced at least one of these scenarios:

Spacing out in front of your computer too often (brain fog included);
listlessly staring at your bedroom ceiling at two in the morning,
unable to shut your brain off for sleep. or waking up with a surge of heart-pounding anxiety,
feeling too paralyzed to move.

Maybe you’ve experienced all of the above, plagued by a general sense of fatigue every day –
almost like you’re walking through a swamp full of mud, both physically and mentally.

(Note: These symptoms may be indicative of mental health disorders, which should only be
diagnosed by a healthcare professional. Please seek professional help if needed).

When should I see a psychologist? Or a psychiatrist? Or both?

These scenarios, psychologist, and relationship counselor Lissy Puno says, are signs of
hopelessness – something many of us have been experiencing over a year and a half into the
pandemic. It’s that persistent “meh” feeling at the background of everything we do, the fear of
believing that things will get better soon, or the thought that nothing will change.

However, this “hopeless” feeling is completely valid and normal given the circumstances, Lissy
Ann says. We’ve spent over a year and a half in lockdown, left to our own devices, with no clear
end in sight. It’s no wonder we’ve lost hope, and we shouldn’t blame ourselves for that.

It’s okay to not be okay: Losing hope is valid

It’s important to tell yourself that it’s normal to be feeling this way – after all, nothing about
these “trying times” is normal. Finding new ways to mentally cope and “pivot” during a
traumatic pandemic is already tough enough, coupled with the need to survive, the pressure to
thrive, and the fact that the light at the end of this coronavirus tunnel seems dim.
Year one was okay. What’s wrong with a few months stuck at home, baking sourdough,
whipping coffee, trying yoga, no longer commuting to work, and hopping on Zoom calls with
friends? Some even welcomed this slower pace of home life – until it stretched on for too long.

We’re halfway through 2022 and the pandemic novelty has worn off. We’re tired, amid a third
hard lockdown in Metro Manila, rising COVID-19 cases, political debates, work-from-home
burnout, and a constant cycle of lockdowns and bad news.

“People are losing hope that things will be better because the uncertainty and the unknowns have
just been dragging on for too long,” Lissy told Rappler.
“To stay hopeful, we need to know and see the ‘finish line’ to keep going. With the pandemic,
the ‘finish line’ has been changed too many times in different areas of life that people are feeling
hopeless,” she added. This is when clinging onto hope starts to feel ridiculous and fruitless.

The meaning of hope, then and now

According to Lissy, the basic definition of “hope” is the belief that things will get better. On the
contrary, “hopelessness” may sound like: “This will never end,” “Nothing will change,” and “We
will continue to be in this state for who knows when.”

“In these times, there are glimpses of what may help keep us hopeful,” Lissy said, such as the
loosening of quarantine restrictions, opportunities to finally connect with people, a decrease in
cases, the re-opening of favorite establishments, or the possibility of travel. “But then those go
away, and there is a lot of disappointment that takes away hope of what we envision moving
forward,” Lissy added. In a way, hope becomes tiring.

Lissy notes that hopelessness is something we’ve all experienced, even prior to the pandemic,
due to the “usual stressors, like traffic, finances, job security, being in relationships, raising
families, and so on.”

“When this became too much, we engaged in activities that brought joy, happiness and hope,”
she said. Now, all of that is taken away.

“We have lost our usual stress-busters and coping mechanisms that would bring us renewed hope
every time,” Lissy said, which are now hard (or even impossible) to look forward to due to the
pandemic.

Cabin fever in lockdown? What it is and what you can do about it

Had a stressful day at the office? Maybe calling up your friends to meet over drinks was your go-
to decompressor. Mental block at work? Take a break at your favorite coffee shop. Need to clear
your head before heading home from work? There’s nothing a leisurely stroll around the mall
and some retail therapy can’t fix. Going through a break-up? Book a trip with your girlfriends
and head to the beach.

The pandemic has come with its own share of stressors, but our coping mechanisms have now
just been limited to within our four walls.

Lissy quotes American psychologist C.R. Snyder, who defines hope as the “belief that there is
the possibility of a better future,” and “the knowledge of the possibility of something better.” It
was easier to hope for things to be better back then; we had the choice to switch up our routine
the next day, or the agency to plan a fun weekend with loved ones, knowing for certain that’s all
we’d need to feel better again.

Hope now comes at a deeper level and at higher prices. “We hope that this will pass, hope that I
will find a job, hope that I can cope with my financial obligations, hope that the right partner will
come my way, hope that me and my family will stay healthy, hope that everyone gets the
vaccination, hope that we will emerge from this pandemic, and just hope that no one dies,” Lissy
said.

Are you hopeful or hopeless?

According to C.R. Synder, an individual with a “strong sense of hope” uses hope to manage their
worries, stress, and negative thoughts, reassuring themselves that “things will get better.” They
are motivated to stay positive by looking for things that make them happy.

“Hopeful people also plan for their future – both near and far – and make choices to help them
achieve their goals/dreams. Hopeful people take charge of moving forward,” Lissy said. It’s also
important to note that there is no definite timeline for “moving forward” – do it at your own
pace.

If your goal is to stay connected, this could be something as simple as scheduling a virtual game
night with your friends. If your dream is to launch your own online business, blocking off a few
hours to do research is a small but impactful step. If the goal is just to get through the workday,
simply writing a to-do list is enough. Even just setting aside “me time” every night is something
hopeful individuals do.
On the other hand, Lissy says that an “individual who is hopeless” is one who cannot find the
silver lining in any situation and doesn’t have the mental capacity to reassure themselves that
small inconveniences are not the end of the world. A “hopeless” individual could easily take
constructive criticism as a sign that their job is at stake, and not alternatively think that this could
just be an opportunity to perform better next time around. A break-up could be misconstrued as a
failure on their part, instead of thinking that they deserve someone better.

“These people also avoid life experiences that can turn things around for the better, or small
choices that can help them. They tend to focus on the negative,” Lissy said. It’s normal to
experience feelings of sadness, disappointment, and self-pity from time to time. However, if left
unchecked and unprocessed, individuals may end up wallowing in these negative states for too
long, which could lead to anxiety and/or depression.

LF: Hope

Hope is not something that is obtained externally; it is something found, awakened, or honed
from within. This is what Lissy calls the “Powerful Self” – a move that enables us to see the
world and our experiences in a hopeful, positive light.

“The Powerful Self is usually the competent self-versus the helpless/hopeless mode of self.
These modes of self-make us see things, think of things, feel things, and act in a certain way
based on this mode,” Lissy said.

“If I see a situation with my Powerful Self, that experience will most likely be satisfying and
fulfilling. If I see a situation with my helpless/hopeless self, the experience would be filled with
worry, anxiety, and with a sense of failure and dread,” she added.
You might feel like working extra hard is the only way to “achieve” it, but the Powerful Self
isn’t something external from you. The Powerful Self is already within. Lovingly and patiently
allow it to emerge by fostering and embracing the following qualities:

Competent. “I can handle whatever life throws my way. I got this.” According to Lissy, a
competent individual “believes they have the capability to cope with whatever experiences and
problems the day may have in store.”

Growing. “There is something I can learn from this.” “What is this situation telling
me?” Having a growth mindset (and not a “woe is me” victim mentality) is crucial to stay
hopeful. This person can “improve, understand, and see things in a positive perspective,” and
understand that “the possibilities are still limitless.”

Nurturing. “I can take care of myself and the needs of others.” “How can I better care for
myself?” Before caring for their loved ones, the Powerful Self understands the importance of
caring for one’s self by listening to their own needs and respecting their boundaries.

Compassionate. “I can be kind to myself and accept myself for who I am.” “I respect and
empower myself.” Tough times call for more kindness, especially to yourself. When we start
becoming more compassionate to ourselves, we become the same to others.

Despite these dire circumstances, daily choices can help soothe the anxiety that comes from
feeling helpless. Aside from your usual arsenal of coping mechanisms – whether that be
exercise, professional therapy, self-help books, or prayer – Lissy

Ann shares five small steps to keeping the hope alive.

1. Create new dreams that you can plan for.

2. Look for positive mentors, friends, public figures, or family members who stayed hopeful
during their challenges. Reach out.
3. Listen or read inspiring messages of hope. You can check out TED Talks on YouTube,
join online spiritual communities, or read poetry.
4. Allow yourself to discover new things about yourself and others. Keep an open mind.
Connect.
5. Look for your silver linings during the pandemic. Practice giving every situation the
benefit of the doubt.
6. Practice gratitude daily. Something as simple as writing down five things you’re thankful
for every morning – from the roof over your head, to your health, and even to your cup of
coffee – can help set the tone of your day.

Can’t stand change? Lissy Ann says: Look for your constants. Keep your friends, family, and
pets close, and don’t forget to rely on yourself for daily self-care – having a routine helps. In this
chaos, try to find your calm.

Confused? Seek clarity. Only read news from trusted media outlets, and tune out the rest.
Practice social media hygiene by avoiding constant doom-scrolling and taking necessary breaks.
Feeling out of control? Anxiety preys on our need for control and our fear of uncertainty, so try
to focus on the things that you can control, like your daily habits, reactions, choices, intentions,
and actions. Accept and surrender what you can’t change.

Concerned? Be careful. Continue taking care of your physical and mental health, and don’t
forget to be honest. Sharing your fears and anxieties with others is not a sign of weakness.
Opening up is strength.
The light at the end of the tunnel may seem hard to find right now, but despite the darkness, we
still choose to get up every day. That alone is a sign that we haven’t given up hope, and that we
believe that better things are on their way. Hold on to hope – no matter what it looks like to you
– because on most days, it’s all you need to get by. – Rappler.com