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#228 Jan 2021 • £3.95

to help you write fiction, non-fiction, plays and poetry

Fountain of youth New year resolve Playing it by ear
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 Great reads from great minds.

Selling My Last Suit Vamp

Richard Page Book One
The long and arduous journey into manhood prompts Page to Anuoska Temple
opt out of the bounds of his guardian and mother’s expectations Their separation continues for a lifetime, but when tragedy
before he becomes a man at twenty one. strikes, the two sisters are briefly united. They must reconcile or
£11.95 paperback their fate will rest in the clutches of despair.
978-1-7283-9419-0 £11.95 paperback
also available in ebook 978-1-7283-8577-8
www.authorhouse.co.uk also available in ebook
www.authorhouse.co.uk

My Tinnitus Created Mirth & Verse Obodom

Johnny Crook Chikelue Okoye
While many poems in this book are about Johnny Crook’s Child labour, inter-ethnic rivalry, girl-child sexual abuse prevails in
tinnitus, they cover other topics like daily events, his time as a Nigeria. Obodom is determined to redeem his nation and eradicate
police officer, texts to a friend, nature and more. the ills that exposed his late mother to her despicable fate.
£11.95 paperback £9.95 paperback
978-1-7283-8361-3 978-1-7283-9300-1
also available in hardcover & ebook also available in ebook
www.authorhouse.co.uk www.authorhouse.co.uk

Pages and Leaflets of North Oxfordshire Finding Harry

My Lineage Pre-1700–1959 A True Love Story
Angela Fortnum Judy Prescott
This family genealogy and history chronicles the story of the In Finding Harry, author Judy Prescott soulfully takes readers
Page family and the changes in work and religion that the family into the depths of emotions, the pains of loss and the mystery of
experienced over three centuries living in England. sacrifice, all in the name of love.
£8.95 paperback £12.95 paperback
978-1-5462-9795-6 978-1-4969-8613-9
also available in hardcover, ebook & audiobook also available in ebook
www.authorhouse.co.uk www.authorhouse.co.uk

Fostering and Us Females on the Nile

Marie Coady Short Story Collection
Marie Coady covers years of fostering, all the ups and downs, Heba Bendary
how fostering affected her family’s daily lives, and the amount of Females on the Nile is a collection of short stories that sheds light
enjoyment and happy memories they have. on the conditions of women in Egypt and probably in many other
£15.95 paperback areas in the Middle East.
978-1-7283-8007-0 £11.95 paperback
also available in ebook 978-1-7283-8995-0
www.authorhouse.co.uk also available in ebook
www.authorhouse.co.uk

Women Are Like Cats and Men Like Dogs Pizza, Pasta, and Pickle
or are they? The Adventures of Micky, Bessie, and Pickle
Kat Brown Charles Oakley
If you study the behaviour of Cats and Dogs, you will see When the lovable canine duo of Micky and Bessie rescue a small
similarities with the way humans interact with each other. Italian girl named Nina from drowning, it triggers a series of
Find out how Women Are Like Cats And Men Like Dogs in this events leading them to their greatest adventure.
amusing book!
£9.95 paperback
£11.95 paperback 978-1-7283-9196-0
978-1-4678-9784-6 also available in hardcover & ebook
also available in ebook
www.authorhouse.co.uk
www.authorhouse.co.uk

The Yearning Heart Songbird

Poems of Contemplation and Stillness A Tale of Love
Hilary K Sinclair Jess Kerr-Wearne
This is a book about an internal spiritual voyage. The Yearning An old lord of the land chooses to set free the Songbird, the only
Heart offers contemplative poems reflecting a personal but also thing that makes him happy and brings him joy, because caging it
universal consciousness. felt wrong. Was he right?
£20.99 paperback £12.99 paperback
978-1-5462-9546-4 978-1-7283-9441-1
also available in ebook & audiobook also available in ebook
www.authorhouse.co.uk www.authorhouse.co.uk

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 WELCOME

Writers FORUM
A WORD FROM 4 HEADLINES 30 SKILL LEARNING
Newsfront The latest in Help! I’ve outgrown
THE EDITOR the world of writing my writers’ group Sarah
6 SUBSCRIPTIONS Davies broaches whether it’s

T
Get Writers’ Forum delivered time to move on…
his is the last issue of direct to your door 32 INSPIRATION
the year and I know 8 HOW I WRITE Ideas Store Paula Williams
I’m not the only one glad to Sugar-free prose Claire Zooms off with new stories
see the back of 2020. Thank Wade mixed dystopia with 34 KICKSTARTERS
doughnuts for her debut, she 36 festive daily prompts
goodness we had decent
tells Douglas McPherson 36 THE BUSINESS
weather here in Dorset for 12 GET STARTED Becoming a writer You
a prolonged period over Where to begin? Douglas did it! Kath Kilburn salutes
spring and summer; quiet McPherson shows how to those who wrote their way
country walks among the find the most compelling through 2020
start for your stories 37 AGONY AUNT
suddenly emboldened
14 WRITERS’ CIRCLE Dear Della Writer Della
wildlife were perhaps the Your letters plus a reader’s Galton answers your queries
only upside of the pandemic. I found this latest lockdown, First Draft challenge 38 STORY COMPETITION
with its long dark evenings, much harder, so our Christmas 17 NOVEL MARKETS This month’s winners
lights went up right at the start! It’s no wonder readers have Publishing now Kathleen of £550 in cash prizes
Whyman quizzes industry 48 FICTION WORKSHOP
been turning to comforting reads such as cosy crime, family
leaders on their 2021 book Locking in the senses
sagas and happy romances. On p17, publishers tell Kathleen trend predictions Using a reader’s romance
Whyman how the trend is set to continue well into 2021, so if 18 CHILDREN’S BOOKS Lorraine Mace shows how
you have a story guaranteed to lift spirits it’s a good time to Harsher but more taste and touch can add new
get it out there. And if you don’t know where to begin, turn vulnerable Anita Loughrey dimensions to your writing
hears Sibéal Pounder’s view 50 POETRY COMPETITION
to page 12. Here’s to a hopeful and happy new year!
of young readers – and how Poetry judge Sue Butler
Write soon, Carl she writes responsibly introduces this month’s
20 FREELANCE MARKETS theme plus Experiment
The Magazine Scene 52 POETRY COMP RESULTS
Don’t miss issue #229 on sale from 14 January Adam Carpenter’s round-up The winner of £100 for our
of writing opportunities and ‘Weight’ competition
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Our short short writing 66 WHERE I WRITE
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Writers’FORUM #228 3

WF228JAN03contents.indd 3 02/12/2020 16:33:56

 HEADLINES

newsFRONT
The latest in the world of books, the internet and publishing – written by you

Debut author wins

Booker Prize Marcus Rashford launches book club

’separate
Having been unable to
Margaret Atwood
and Bernadine Evaristo in 2019,
Booker Prize judges only took
an hour to unanimously decide
the 2020 winner.
Douglas Stuart – one of four
debut novelists to be nominated
this year – won the £50,000
award for Shuggie Bain, a story
about a boy in 1980s Glasgow
who attempts to support his
mother in her struggles with
addiction and poverty. Stuart
dedicated his book and prize to
his own mother, who died of
alcoholism when he was 16, and
hopes the prize money will enable
him to ‘focus on my writing’
and return to Glasgow from his
current New York home.
Also on a Booker shortlist
where all the authors were based
outside the UK were Diane
Cook, Tsitsi Dangarembga, Avni
Wollstonecraft statue
divides opinion
’mealMarcus Rashford, who successfully campaigned for free school
provision over Christmas, has launched a book club to help
children enjoy the ‘escapism of reading’. The Manchester United and
England footballer will work with Macmillan Children’s Books to
promote reading and literacy via the Marcus Rashford Book Club.
The project will see a large number of books given to vulnerable and
under-privileged children and will begin with an illustrated non-fiction
book – based on Rashford’s life stories – aimed at children aged 11-16,
followed by two fiction titles for readers aged seven upwards.
The scheme will also give away books from Macmillan’s existing roster, with the aim of championing
creatives from all backgrounds. A Macmillan spokeswoman said it would work with Rashford and
charities to ‘find the most effective mechanisms to reach the children who need them’. Sam Todd
Doshi, Maaza Mengiste and effects of weather due to climate McAnulty began writing a nature
Brandon Taylor. Sam Todd change. Rainwater has been blog at 12, and this formed the
leaking through the roof and basis of Diary of a Young Naturalist,
the museum is now concerned started the following year.
about potential damage to the The book showcases the
A roof not universally items on display, including the debut author’s passion for nature,
acknowledged… walnut writing table Jane sat at to chronicling his life between
complete famous works such as spring 2018 and spring 2019, and
’in Hampshire,
Jane Austen’s House museum
where the author
Emma and Sense and Sensibility.
The roof is becoming unstable
is described by the Guardian as a
‘miraculous memoir.’
lived for eight years, is feeling the after last being reroofed in the It combines observations of
1940s. Maintenance has not been nature with descriptions of his
able to be carried out recently environmental campaigning,
due to the pandemic lockdown, school and family life, the impact
and a series of hotter summers of a house move from County
and wetter, windier winters Fermanagh to the other side

’philosopher
Pioneering feminist author and
Mary Wollstonecraft
means the tiles on the roof are
starting to slip.
of Northern Ireland, and his
experiences of bullying.
has been honoured with a statue The Save Jane’s Roof campaign Earlier this year, the book won
created by artist Maggi Hambling. is asking Austen fans to sponsor the 2020 Wainwright Prize for
But not everyone is happy about the result. When it was unveiled, a roof tile to repair the home, Nature Writing.  Amanda Barton
the £143,000 monument was met with bewilderment and dismay. and over £83,000 – a third of the
It depicts a small naked woman, complete with pubic hair, held up projected cost – has already been
by a swirling fusion of female forms. Caroline Criado-Perez, who donated so far.  Zoe Allard
played a key role in campaigning for a statue of Millicent Fawcett, Value of library fines
claimed the ‘representation is insulting’ to Wollstonecraft. Whilst questioned
she recognised the effort in the creation of the statue, she thought
Teenager wins second
the decision to be ‘catastrophically wrong’.
However, Bee Rowlatt, a key figure in the fight to have a statue book prize ’bookChicago Public Library’s
amnesty has brought into
of Wollstonecraft, said: ‘We wanted to do something different to question the efficacy of imposing
putting people on pedestals,’ adding: ‘It’s a challenging artwork,
and it’s meant to be.’ The artist, Hambling, said the statue is ‘not ’ Sixteen-year-old Dara
McAnulty is the winner of
fines on overdue library books.
In October 2019 the library
a conventional heroic or heroinic likeness’ but a ‘sculpture about this year’s Books Are My Bag stopped levying charges on late-
now, in her spirit’. Whatever its merits, the sculpture has certainly Readers Award in the Non- returned items and immediately
put Wollstonecraft back in the spotlight. Emma De Vito Fiction category. Diagnosed with saw an increase in the return of
autism and Asperger’s aged five, material that had been overdue

4 Writers’FORUM #228

WF228JAN04news.indd 4 02/12/2020 16:41:08

 for six months or more. The
library is losing up to $900,000
a year in revenue from fines but
sees what has been gained as
more important.
‘As we see long-lost patrons
and materials return to the
library, the impact of eliminating
overdue fines is clear,’ acting
Library Commissioner Mary Ellen
Messner said. ‘Chicagoans are
connecting to their community
libraries and using this resource
without anxiety or financial
barriers to access.’
In the five months following
the removal of fines, there was a
seven per cent increase in book
borrowing compared to the
previous year. The closure of
libraries due to the Covid-19
pandemic has made further
comparisons between this year
and last difficult. But the data
from those initial five months
seems to indicate that library
fines are an obstacle to library
use for some. Sally Jenkins
Women’s Prize ‘Winner
of Winners’
Bridget Jones voted best romance
’60thAfter a poll run as part of the Romantic Novelists’ Association’s
anniversary celebrations, the RNA has declared Bridget Jones’s
Diary by Helen Fielding (right) the most popular romance of the last
60 years. The overall winner was chosen from some of the bestselling
titles of romantic fiction published over the period, voted for by the
public and RNA members. A shortlist drawn from member votes
was created for each year, with an overall book winner from each decade going forward to the final, in
which Bridget Jones’s Diary went head to head with Riders by Jilly Cooper.
Bestselling author and president of the RNA Katie Fforde said: ‘In Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding
gave us a new genre which has been endlessly copied but never surpassed. Romantic fiction is timeless
and books written decades ago are still loved today. This is a wonderful list with some real classics on it.
Read them all!’ The winners of each decade were:
1960s Frederica by Georgette Heyer 1970s The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough
1980s Riders by Jilly Cooper 1990s Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding
2000s PS I Love You by Cecelia Ahern 2010s Me Before You by Jojo Moyes
Yellow Sun. The one-off award group as associate publisher. The illustrators and agents will also be
was given to mark the prize’s imprint will publish authors and excited about. We have a strong
year-long 25th anniversary illustrators from leading fiction and clear vision for growing our
celebrations, which have also brands as well as new writers, and children’s business, and adding
involved a #ReadingWomen has been designed to complement fiction to the division will enable
campaign to champion previous titles on Welbeck Children’s us to reach even more readers
winners including Zadie Smith, non-fiction programme. all over the world.’
Lionel Shriver, Andrea Levy, Rose Publisher for children’s books
Tremain and Maggie O’Farrell. Jane Harris said: ‘Stories change
Amanda Quinn lives, and in today’s challenging
world the importance and Hamnet scores treble
relevance of storytelling could not

New children’s imprint

be more pertinent, especially for
’beenMaggie O’Farrell’s Hamnet has

’ After a public vote,

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
has been chosen as ‘Winner
of Winners’ from 25 years
of Women’s Prize for Fiction
books for her novel Half of a
’ Welbeck Publishing Group is
launching a new children’s fiction
imprint, Welbeck Flame, with
Felicity Alexander joining the
children. To have the opportunity
to develop a new children’s fiction
list to complement Welbeck’s
existing colour-illustrated
non-fiction list is very exciting
and one that I hope authors,
crowned both Waterstones
Book of the Year and the Books
Are My Bag Readers Awards
Book of the Year, having already
won this year’s Women’s Prize
for Fiction in September.

ps
and flash com
y, poetry

ODD SPOT BY HUGH SCOTT

mous stor
world-fa
Hugh Scott is a Whitbread-winning author. He writes and illustrates for The Park Free Press

0 in our
win £75

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Derek suddenly wished that pennilless writers
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Writers’FORUM #228 5

WF228JAN04news.indd 5 02/12/2020 16:41:21

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 SUGAR-FREE
PROSE
Claire Wade tells Douglas McPherson how
she cooked up a dystopian novel about baking
A
story about a baker may
sound like a shoo-in to win
a novel‑writing competition
organised by Good Housekeeping
magazine. There’s nothing sugary about
Claire Wade’s debut The Choice, however.
The story takes place in a Britain where
a fitness-obsessed prime minister called
Mother Mason has taken healthy eating to
extremes. Sugar has been banned, baking
made a crime, and everyone’s calorie
intake and weight is strictly monitored,
with sweet-toothed offenders sentenced
to a stint in the Shame Box, or worse.
‘I didn’t set out to write anything
dystopian,’ says Claire. ‘But as I was writing
I decided that I wanted to focus on a
female government and the matriarchy.
There’s a lot of fiction about the patriarchy,
so it was interesting to explore the fact that
women do things differently, and to see
how that would work. Would things be
vastly improved or would you still face the
same problems?’
Mason proves as tyrannical as any
male villain and there are plenty of
power‑hungry individuals further
down the control chain who are quick
to report the transgressions of friends
and neighbours as an oppressive society
becomes self-policing. But that isn’t a
comment on the way women treat each
other generally, the author stresses.
‘Just as there can be really supportive
men and really controlling men, it’s the
same with women, and I think the book
shows both sides.
‘But at the core of the book is the idea
of women coming together and supporting
each other to step into the lives they’ve
always wanted.’
Based in Norfolk, where The Choice is set,
Claire has loved books for as long as she
can remember.
‘Going to the library was the most
exciting thing for me as a child. It was
quite a small local library so I read
everything they had, which meant that
I read a wide range of authors and styles
8 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN08author.indd 8
It started
out as quite
a light, romantic
story.Then it
became darker
and more
involved
that I normally wouldn’t have.
‘When I was very young I liked the
Nancy Drew books. I loved the idea of
a strong woman going on an adventure.
Later on, I was reading Monica Hughes,
who wrote science fiction and near‑
future things.’
Growing up, Claire had no ambition
to become an author.
‘I don’t think I realised that books were
written by people. It was as if they just
magically appeared. It was only when I
was 18 that I thought, this is something
that I really love and something I’d like
to be a part of.’
At that time, however, Claire was
bed‑bound with ME.
‘So writing went on my list of Things
I Would Like To Do One Day.’
The day came when she learned of the
annual National Novel Writing Month
(NaNoWriMo) challenge to write 50,000
words in the 30 days of November.
‘I ended up writing 107,000 words of two
stories. One was a fantasy I’d had in my
head while I was bed-bound and it was
just a case of writing it down. The other
was about a book that’s passed to different
people and the different experiences they
have through reading the book.’
Writing so much in a short period
uncorked a latent desire.
‘I thought: “This is amazing. You just
write it down and it’s done!”
‘Looking back, I would be horrified to
think how much work it would take to
get those stories to a publishable standard.
But at the time it was fun just to sit and
type and write whatever I wanted. It made
me think: this is something I want to do
for the rest of my life.’
Claire’s NaNoWriMo stories have
remained untouched. But the idea for The
Choice came to her the following January.
‘I’ve always enjoyed baking for
relaxation, and as I was coming home
from a cake‑decorating shop I passed three
fast‑food drive-ins. I’d been hearing on the
news about sugar and fat being addictive
02/12/2020 11:20:26
 HOW I WRITE

and I thought: what if it were true that

sugar was as addictive as a drug and the
government stepped in and banned it?
‘What would the world look like if sugar
was illegal? The natural follow-on to that
was that baking would be a crime and I
would no longer be able to do this thing
that I do to relax. How would I react?’
Claire worked on the novel for the next
six years.
‘I flirted with other ideas along the way.
I did NaNoWriMo every year. But The
Choice was the story that really captured
my heart and I knew I had to keep working
on it.
‘I really believed it had the potential
to be published, so I kept coming back to
it. I kept learning new skills and doing
whatever I needed to do to get better as
a writer. It was basically the story with
which I learned to write.’
The novel changed a lot over the years,
not least because of input from a local
writing critique group that Claire joined.
‘It started out as quite a light, romantic
story. Then, because of the questions the
group was asking and the things they
were interested in, it became darker and
more involved in the political set-up of
the story world.’
Claire sought an agent for her
manuscript without success.
‘It wasn’t getting many rejections,’ she
reports. ‘It was just disappearing into
the void.’
It was then that she heard of the Good
Housekeeping competition for first novels
by unagented authors. First prize was
representation by a literary agent and a
publishing deal with Orion, complete with
a cash advance.
‘I sent it off in March 2018 and forgot
about it until I got a phone call from Good
Housekeeping that May, saying that I’d
won. It was the most amazing and surreal
moment. I kept saying “Thank you!” over
and over because I was so grateful and
couldn’t believe it was really happening.’
Winning was just the beginning of
another year of revision, however, as Claire
worked with her editor at Orion to prepare
the novel for publication.
‘You have to be open to ideas and really
think about their suggestions. Sometimes
you might go, “It’s my story, I can’t
possibly change it!” But then you have to
think, well, if I want to get published I
need to trust their experience and that they
know what they’re talking about.
‘One of the things that my editor wanted
was to make my main character older.
That made a fundamental difference to the

Continued overleaf
▲

Writers’FORUM #228 9

WF228JAN08author.indd 9 02/12/2020 11:20:37

 HOW I WRITE

Continued from previous page

story and I thought, “I don’t know how

to do this.” But it meant that Olivia could
be more confident and have more power
within the story.’
Of the publication process as a whole,
Claire says: ‘You have to be prepared for
hard work – way more than I anticipated,
and it’s intense. But I’m absolutely over
the moon with the book that I’ve ended up
with. It’s everything I wanted it to be and
so much more.’
One of the novel’s focal points is the
local Women’s Institute. Claire is an active
member of the WI in real life. She writes
a column about her local branch in East
Anglian newspaper the Eastern Daily Press,
and says the institute has rallied around to
support her book.
‘I had a book launch at Waterstones
and had a picture taken with all the WI
members who came out to support it. We
all put on aprons to tie in with the baking
theme. There were more than 70 people
there and I ended up spending the whole
two hours signing books. Both Waterstones
and my agent said they‘d never seen a
book launch like it.’
Claire is currently working on her next
book, which also explores themes of food
and power and is set in the distant future.
‘I’m definitely more of a pantser than a
plotter,’ she says. ‘People have said that
they never knew what to expect with The
Choice, and I think that’s partly because I
was discovering the story as I wrote, so I
didn’t always know what to expect either.’
She hopes that her new book won’t take
as long as her first.
‘I’ve found that my work doesn’t need as
much revising as it used to. When I started
eight years ago, I didn’t understand about
psychic distance (how close a reader feels
to the events in a story) or layering in the
setting and writing character through
action. All those things that I learned along
the way, I’m now doing automatically.’
Because of her ME, Claire tends to write
in the mornings.
‘That’s when I have the most energy
and I’m most focused. I have a small front things that I need to whittle down.’ when you’re passionate about it.’
room which I call Narnia because there’s Her best tip to aspiring novelists is to For that reason, she adds: ‘I think it’s
a wardrobe in it and it’s here that I escape have fun. important to get the story down as cleanly
to other worlds. ‘I think a book has to have a hook – and concisely as you can before you
‘I generally write straight on to my something that really interests you as a show it to anyone else. I started off with
laptop, but sometimes if I’m stuck on a writer, because you’re going to be working a critique group, and it was beneficial at
scene and need to be more creative I’ll on it for a long time and if you’re not first,but it got to the stage where I had
write longhand. enjoying it, I don’t think it’s worth doing. too many people’s opinions in my head.
‘I edit on paper, then type up the ‘I don’t think you should worry too I knew that to be able to finish it, I had to
changes. Then, when I have a complete much about what is going to be successful leave the group and focus on telling my
draft, I transfer it to a Kindle. I find that or what you think other people are story my way.’
seeing the words in a different format on going to like, because you’ll lose all the
a different screen helps me to spot more momentum and the heart that a story has • See www.clairewade.com

10 Writers’FORUM #228

WF228JAN08author.indd 10 02/12/2020 11:20:48

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WF228-11.indd 11 02/12/2020 11:37:10

 FIRST STEPS
GET STARTED
Where to begin?
Douglas McPherson shows you how to start your story
at the most compelling point
O
ne of the biggest
dilemmas facing
an author is
where to begin
their story; at what point in the
narrative should we join the
characters?
Common advice is to ‘start
with action’, or ‘begin at a
point of change’, which are
perfectly sound suggestions.
But there may be several action
scenes or points of change
throughout your story, so
which one should you choose
for your opening?
The answer is to begin with
the ‘inciting incident’ – the
12 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN12start.indd 12
event that causes everything
that follows.
For example, in a romance
the inciting incident is the
first meeting between heroine
and hero. Before they meet,
there’s no romance and no
story. So you begin with their
initial encounter.
In a crime story, the inciting
incident is a murder or the
discovery of a body. Without a
crime, there’s nothing for the
detective to do. So you start
with the crime.
In a horror story, nothing
happens until the monster
shows up. So you begin with
its first attack or, at least, the
first evidence of its presence.
The journey
Not every story begins with
a murder, a monster or a
romantic encounter, however,
so how do you determine the
inciting incident in a different
sort of story, such as a saga or
a coming-of-age story?
The key is to remember
that every story is, in essence,
a journey from problem
to solution, from goal to
achievement. And the inciting
incident is the event that
introduces the problem to be
solved or goal to be achieved.
So whenever you’re unsure
where to start, ask yourself,
‘What is my character’s
journey? What problem does
he or she have to overcome?’
You can then start with a
scene that establishes their
dilemma.
As an example, I recently
wrote a magazine serial
about two young women who
become fashion models in the
1960s. The story followed their
career ups and downs and
romantic adventures.
There were two romantic
storylines, plus a sub-plot
about their male friend who
becomes a pop star after getting
involved with a gangster.
There was a lot going on,
so where would I start? Well,
at heart it was a coming-of-
age story – a journey from
adolescence to adulthood. The
girls’ ‘problem’, at the story’s
start, is that they are on the
cusp of adulthood, stuck living
at home with their parents
and itching to embark on their
adult lives. Their ‘goal’ is to
leave home, get a job and find
romance.
The end of the story sees
their problem overcome and
their goal achieved: they’ve
both left home, established a
successful career and found
love. The final scene sees
them grown up and happily
married.
Because they were to take
their journey together, as best
friends, the inciting incident
was their first meeting. So my
02/12/2020 11:21:53
 What relevance would their
childhood adventures have to a
story about leaving home and TAKE THE STEP
becoming fashion models? Lesson 1
A story should start
story began with a scene in fashion models. My first draft the inciting incident, the point with the ‘inciting
which the girls meet and bond began at a point where one at which their story began. incident’ – the event
over their shared frustrations girl’s career is taking off while Scene Two was their meeting
that causes everything
and common dreams – thus her friend’s career is in the with the male lead; Scene
that follows.
establishing the story’s doldrums. I figured that was Three was the beauty contest.
problem to be overcome and a ‘point of change’ in their And so on, in chronological Lesson 2
goal to be achieved. relationship and established a order. My original opening
problem: can their friendship scene ended up somewhere in Don’t start too far
Too late survive the imbalance in their the middle of the story, where into your story. If
In an attempt to start at an fortunes? it belonged. you have to use a
exciting bit, it’s easy to fall into Almost immediately, I flashback, it’s often
the trap of beginning your found it necessary to explain Too early better to start with
story too far into the narrative. how they’d first met at a It’s also possible to begin a that earlier scene.
A warning sign is if you have holiday camp, where they’d story too early, before anything
to follow your opening scene entered a beauty contest important happens. Lesson 3
with a flashback to reveal what and one of them had got a I could, for example, have Don’t start too early,
happened earlier. modelling contract as a result. begun my serial with one
either. We don’t want
Flashbacks near the start I then had to explain how of the girls packing for her
of a story are best avoided, they’d met the story’s male holiday, then taking a train to
to watch the hero
because they disrupt the sense character and how he fitted the holiday camp. That could doing their shopping
of forward momentum. As into the tale. still have established her sense before anything
readers, we want to be getting In short, there was a ton of of frustration and desire to interesting happens.
on with the story, not stopping backstory to get across and leave home. Skip unnecessary
to go backwards. it was getting in the way of But I wasn’t writing the story preamble and begin
So if you find a flashback is my efforts to move the story of one girl: it was to be the with the event
necessary, it may be better to forward. story of two friends. And that that kickstarts the
simply start your story at that The solution was to rip up story couldn’t start until they adventure.
earlier point and tell it in the that draft and start again, met, so anything I introduced
right order. a couple of years earlier, at before then would be irrelevant Homework
That’s actually what I did the holiday camp, where the preamble.
Write an opening
with my story about the two friends first meet. That was Alternatively, I could have
had them meet years earlier,
scene that clearly
when they were both much includes the inciting
incident for a much
TRICKS OF THE TRADE younger, and started my story
then. But what relevance longer story: the first
Douglas shares writing tips he’s learned through experience would their childhood meeting between
adventures have to a story heroine and hero
#69 When to use a prologue about leaving home and in a romance; a
becoming fashion models? crime committed or
Sometimes the inciting incident occurs before your main character To fit the rest of the tale, discovered; the first
is involved. For example, a murder happens before the detective is they had to meet at the point hint that a monster is
called in to investigate. From the sleuth’s point of view, the inciting when they were ready to leave
on the loose. End the
incident is getting called to the crime scene. That’s where his story home and immediately before
starts. But a cop arriving in the aftermath of a crime could be a slow the beauty contest that was scene in a way that
start to your story. So in some genres, such as crime and horror, it’s their first step into the fashion makes us want to read
common to begin with the crime taking place or the monster claim- world. on – and makes you
ing its first victim. In a sense, that’s a prologue, although it’s usually Not only was that a point want to write on!
just presented as Chapter One, with the hero turning up in Chapter of change, and a way of
Two. A prologue that is titled as such generally takes place a long ‘beginning with action’, but • Start Writing
time before the main story – for example, a 16th-century gang of it was also the point at which Today by
pirates burying a treasure map that your present-day heroine is their adventure started, so Douglas
about to dig up in her back garden. that was where my story had McPherson is
to begin. available as
■ If you have a question about getting started as a writer, an ebook to
please email Douglas at getstarted@writers-forum.com Next issue download from
How to get published in 2021 Amazon now

Writers’FORUM #228 13

WF228JAN12start.indd 13 02/12/2020 11:22:09

 READER LETTERS
Writers CIRCLE
Your news and views, writing tips and funny stories
CURSE WORDS
Della Galton’s excellent advice
in issue #227 about swearing and
how to avoid it made me realise
that a whole article could be
written about this.
We will all have overheard
conversations in which every
other word begins with F.
Written down, this would be
tedious and repetitive padding,
robbed of any of the nuance or
richness sometimes given to it by
intonation and emphasis and tone
when spoken. Using substitute
words and reported speech
can sound artificial, and risks
shoehorning the author between
the reader and the story. But
done deliberately, perhaps from
the point of view of a censorious,
fish-out-of-water narrator, these
tricks could work well.
Soap operas and dramas
regularly depict gritty realism
without all the effing and blinding,
so there is something to learn
from that. Perhaps the secret is
simply to provide a compelling
story and to use engaging but
expletive-free dialogue.
Peter Watson,
Cuddington, Cheshire
GROUP GENESIS
Lockdown had accentuated my
loneliness. What could I do safely?
I was wary of writers’ groups,
having experienced profane
language and smutty topics.
Contacting the Association
of Christian Writers, I was
disappointed that there was no
local group for me to join. The
coordinator said: ‘Why don’t you
start a group?’ Yes, why not.
The first meeting was in
September, in a garage, complying
with social distancing rules. The
14 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN14letters.indd 14
The benefits of a
WRITING
BUDDY
Prior to March’s lockdown, Jane Ayres and Clare
Marsh had monthly meetings in a cafe to talk about
writing and share resources and encouragement. Now
they’ve replaced physical catch-ups with scheduled
fortnightly phone calls and Zoom sessions. Here they
describe how the experience boosts their productivity,
motivation and creativity, and offer practical advice
on how a writing buddy can benefit any writer
Beginnings
Jane: There are many ways to
find your ideal writing buddy
– for example, through a course,
workshop or Facebook group –
but in our case, Clare and I first
met in 2018 when we were both
juggling work commitments while studying on
a two-year part-time Creative Writing MA.
We were what is patronisingly labelled
mature students, being in our fifties. I was
impressed by Clare’s poems, and her passion
and encouragement inspired me to pursue
poetry. If we’d never met, I wouldn’t be
writing poetry now, so I’m forever grateful.
We also discovered common ground in
our personal lives, both having close family
suffering life-threatening illness, and the
friendship grew from there. We decided to
meet every month at a lovely cafe halfway
between our respective homes.
Clare: It was good to get to know
Jane, with her wealth of writing
experience. I was a year ahead of
her on the course and shared with
her my enthusiasm for the poetry
module, which inspired her to take
six of us were interested in
different genres – childrens’
stories, memoir, article writing
and historical fiction – which
made for interesting discussion.
Homemade cake, tea and coffee
gave our meeting a homely tone.
As more writers are interested
in joining for the second meeting,
it will be a Zoom one.
Difficulties can stimulate
creativity.
Rosalie Weller,
Pytchley, Northants
LOOK & LEARN
I submitted an entry to the
Writers’ Forum fiction competition,
my first ever attempt. So when
I bought issue #226 I paid close
attention to the one that won.
When I read What is There After
the Cake? by Paul RT Barnett, I
could totally see why you chose
this story. It took an encounter
that has happened to many –
watching the person you like love
someone else – and showcased
the emotion involved, while also
being uplifting and funny.
I myself wouldn’t have thought
to write about something like
that. I’ve always thought readers
the same module later. Having been certain
at the outset we’d write fiction dissertations,
we submitted poetry collections instead.
I appreciated the value of discussing my
work with someone who really understood
the writing process and whose honest
comments I could trust.
The importance of structure
Jane: We were disciplined with
our meetings – although we caught
up over personal stuff, we ensured
that most of the two hours was
spent talking about our writing
and supporting each other in
terms of those objectives. This was important
for both of us and kept us motivated in
difficult circumstances.
We exchanged poetry books and other
resources, shared any market opportunities
and calls for work we came across, and read
each other’s poems and stories.
When lockdown came, we decided it was
important to keep the exchange going and
even increased it to fortnightly phone calls
to continue our informal mutual mentoring.
When Clare suggested we try Zoom, it was
great to actually see each other again!
Clare: While writing is an
absorbing activity it can sometimes
be a frustrating, solitary
experience – but not when you
have a writing buddy. There was
always plenty to discuss when we
met over coffee and cheese scones.
Setting time to meet regularly was essential,
as it’s all too easy to let things drift. Having
this foundation in place helped when,
unexpectedly, life changed for everyone.
Although surviving a pandemic has meant
inevitable adjustments, we are committed to
carrying on. Thank goodness for video calls –
it makes all the difference to see each other’s
expressions. We can also admire our very
different ‘lockdown looks’: Jane with her buzz
cut and me looking shaggy!
Beneficial outcomes
Jane: Our buddy relationship
has undoubtedly improved my
productivity and creativity.
Commiserating on our rejections
and celebrating each other’s
successes is hugely motivating. And
after we saw a call for poems for a charity
anthology and shared it – we can’t remember
who shared with who – both having work
accepted was a bonus!
Our exchanges have had such a positive
impact and I’d recommend having a writing
buddy to every writer. Knowing I can share
my highs and lows with Clare has been helpful
on so many levels, especially as it’s easy to get
down in our uncertain world. I always look
forward to our chats and meetings.
Clare: Having Jane as my buddy
means I give higher priority to my
writing. Her poetry has really
taken off with some prestigious
publications. I’ve been inspired by
Jane’s story-writing to try fiction
again, having lost all confidence in this as a
student. Even the inevitable rejections don’t
have the same negative impact when your
writing buddy is going through the same thing.
One unexpected result of being stuck at
home is that we’ve broadened our horizons to
submit internationally – geography no longer
matters. I had a piece of flash fiction accepted
in Australia and Jane has had poems accepted
in Canada and the US. Between our Zoom
meetings we use Messenger to send each
other Facebook links to writing courses and
events, submissions and competitions.
want something new and shocking:
a death, a crime scene. I realised
that it is important to show
everyday occurrences, the ones
that will tug on readers’ emotions
and draw them in, because it will
be something they have memories
of themselves.
I have only just started my
writing journey, and I’m grateful
to everyone that submits their
work for showing me the way.
Jess Britton, York
BUDDY OFFER
Your article on writing
PRIZE buddies (issue #227)
LETTER struck a chord in me.
The pleasure and
motivation Jane Ayres and Clare
Marsh gain from their association
shone from the pages.
Earlier this year I lost Sara, my
writing buddy. She lived on the
far side of the country but we
had corresponded and shared our
writing for over 20 years.
Of course, the friendship
blossomed beyond writing and we
shared news of family and friends
as well. My wife and I visited her
beautiful area of Herefordshire.
As a self-publisher with many
Clare at home buddying
up with Jane via Zoom
Things to consider
Jane: You definitely need to like
and respect each other – that’s
essential – as it is for any good
relationship. I feel lucky to know
Clare, and it came from a chance
meeting, albeit on a writing course.
So how do you find your perfect writing
buddy? I’m not aware of any writer-pairing
agencies like dating agencies – maybe someone
should start one! It isn’t the same as having
a writing coach or mentor, which can be
more formal, and is often a paid, professional
relationship.
Clare: Buddies need a sense of
fellow feeling, shared views and
experiences about writing. Trust is
an important issue and personally
I think it works best when you’ve
already got to know each other in
a more general writing setting like a writers’
group or writing course, so you’ve seen their
critiquing – and personality – in action.
Is it better to buddy with someone working
in the same genre – for example, two novelists
together or two flash fiction writers – or in
different ones? I have several friends writing
MOTIVATION years’ experience, I was happy
to publish one of Sara’s excellent
novels and they struggled in a mainstream
novels and to send her copies of
writers’ group to find anyone willing to read
a chapter at a time. With two people you
stand more chance of reciprocating, as well as
holding the threads of each other’s stories.
I have a monthly ‘meeting’ with three
poetry friends who I got to know in a much
bigger poetry group, which I still belong to.
We have widely different styles but only my own work as it was released.
discuss poetry.
I do miss the exchanges and
Getting support from a writer at the
same career stage as you will be different to
buddying with someone with more experience
who can encourage your development. All
the friendly encouragement on
are valid – it’s about what works for you.
The future…
Jane: A few weeks before
the telephone and by email. I
lockdown, Clare and I met at the
Poetry Fair in London to chat to
publishers and we hope to do
more field trips in the future, such
wonder if there is a writer out
as Poetry Society events. Until life
returns to some kind of ‘normality’, we’ll
continue to meet virtually.
Clare: Jane and I enjoyed our
last ‘real world’ coffee after the
Poetry Fair. It felt surreal sitting
in a central London cafe watching
the vibrant Extinction Rebellion
there who feels they would
gain from a writing buddy? I am
march going past. I’d just had a
poem accepted for their anthology Rebel Talk.
As our writing sometimes covers similar
themes, who knows, one day we might publish
a joint collection of our prose and poetry.
Tips for being writing buddies
Jane and Clare: We’d definitely recommend
open to offers. Contact me on
normancottage@yahoo.co.uk
the buddy experience, but to ensure it is
productive and mutually beneficial, we offer
the following advice:
Rex Merchant,
■ Be consistent about when you meet and
stick to your schedule.
■ Be disciplined. Talk about writing – at least
most of the time – otherwise it becomes an
Oakham, Rutland
unfocused chat with a friend.
■ Protect your buddy time. It’s easy to get
side-tracked by life but resist this. We allocate
one to two hours fortnightly and have never
missed or cancelled our virtual meetings.
■ Between meetings, share links and
information about writing opportunities.
■ Encourage each other constantly.
■ Share the ups and downs.
ADDED OOMPH
■ Be honest with each other.
■ Celebrate successes – and keep going!
• Write to letters@writers-forum.com to share
your experiences of finding and working with
a writing buddy
In Douglas McPherson’s Get
Started article ‘Writing fiction’
(issue #227) I found the
inspiration I needed to get back
to writing consistently. I have
always loved writing, but I did so
without a precise structure.
Every article in the magazine
gives me the oomph to get on
with my stories and my novel.
I also love the fact so many
suggestions for publication are
included, making it easier for
writers new to the market to get
their head around things.
I’m so happy I can read you and
get inspired!
Lisa Greghi, Exeter
CUTTING IT
Between household obligations
and news saturated by Covid, any
fresh ideas I had were blitzed.
Then I remembered an old class
exercise.
Having finished with the
weekend newspapers, I took
scissors to them and searched for
writing prompts. I cut into the
various sections to release photos
of characters, homes, locations,
and situations, to mix with words
that shouted ‘Grab me!’ – verbs,
02/12/2020 16:42:29

WIN A YEAR’S SUBSCRIPTION!
The writer of the prize letter each month will win
a year’s subscription to the magazine. Please make
sure that you include your full name and address in
your email. Write to letters@writers-forum.com
nouns, adjectives, in various font
sizes and colours, along with
first names and surnames. It all
created a healthy pool of ideas.
I found interesting concoctions:
Will dirty accounts survive? Blow
one last secret exit. Pitched pen
battle frees blank pains; makes
smouldering confidence U-turn,
before enthusiasm collapses!
So if writerly rot sets in, maybe
play with the press and shuffle
snippets. ‘Same old news’ will
never be the same again.
Oops, there’s a cliché – now
where are my cuttings?
Carole Hawkins,
Sunbury-on-Thames
RAISE A CUP
I have to say a massive thank you
for Sarah Davies and her issue
#226 article ‘Fill your creative
cup’. As someone who has put
off writing for many years and
finally decided to take the plunge
and engage in a writing course
this year, motivating myself
during lockdown has been almost
impossible.
Sarah’s article really stood
out to me and gave me some
excellent ideas of what I can do
to increase my creativity. I never
considered how, as she says, we
always focus on where we walk
and forget to look around us!
This article has not only helped
me find more activities to do, it’s
also given me a new mindset on
how and when I can get creative.
Thank you so much!
Zoë Allard,
South Oxhey, Watford
CRIT CREDIT
Earlier this year I entered your
fiction competition and paid
the small fee for a critique from
WF228JAN14letters.indd 15
Lorraine Mace. Her comments
made me see the piece in a new
light – one I should have seen
from the outset but didn’t. More
work was needed on dialogue and
characterisation, Lorraine said,
in order to take my story to the
next level.
Her comment that the piece
had potential gave me the
courage to create what is now
an 8000-word story for children,
which is about to go to print. Yes,
it’s self‑publishing but that hasn’t
deterred me from ensuring my
story reaches its audience, and
I am encouraged by the stirring
comments I have received from
those who have read the draft.
It’s my intention to gift a
number of copies of As if by
Magic to a local junior school
where, prior to lockdown, I was
a volunteer reader with a group
of pupils keen to progress their
reading. Thank you, Lorraine.
May Parker,
Hail Weston, Cambs
TIMELY BOOST
As a kid I preferred to stay at the
table observing and listening to
the grown-ups, so I have come
quite naturally to writing short
stories in retirement. The latest
sat in the research and planning
stages during lockdown until one
rainy morning last week, when I
picked up your magazine for the
first time and found the kickstart
that was missing.
Thank you for your judge’s
analysis of submitted stories.
Barbara Dynes’ article on ‘Time
and transition’ was invaluable,
too, as I tend to use more than
one time frame. Congratulations
on keeping on inspiring us.
Christine Poole,
Portslade, E Sussex
JUST FOR FUN
Oh dear, it looks like Andrew Michael Hurley
was having a bad writing day. Can you spot the
20 errors in this ‘first draft’ of The Loney?
Billy was a local drunk. Everyone knew him His fall from
Grace to failure was fixed like the weather into the mythology
of the place, and hewas nothing short of a gift to people like
Mummer and Father Wilfred who used him as shorthand for
what drink could do to a man. Billy Tapper wasn’t a person, but
a punishment.
Legend had it that he had been a music teacher at a boy’s
grammer school, or the head of a girls’ school in Scotland, or
down south, or in hull, somewhere, anywhere. His history varied
from person to person, but that the drink had sent him mad was
universally accepted and their were any number of stories about
his exentricities. He lived in a cave. He had killed someone in
Whitehaven with a hammer. He had a daughter some where. He
thought that collecting certain combinations of stone and shells
made him invisible and would often staggering into the Bell and
Anchor in Little Hagby, his pockets chinking with shingle, and
and try to drink from other peoples glasses, thinking that they
couldn’t see him. Hence the dented nose.
I wasn’t sure, how much of it was true, but it didn’t matter.
Once you’d seen Billy Topper, anything they said about seemed
possible.
We first met him in the pebble dashed concrete bus stop on
the one road that skirted the coast-line from Morecambe down
to Knott End. It wood have been 1973, when I was 12 and Hanny
sixteen.
Sent by Alan Garnsworthy, from Berkshire, who earns £25
twelve (spelt out like sixteen). (plural). 11 often stagger (wrong
would (wrong word). 20 when I was space). 10 stones and shells
coastline (unnecessary hyphen). 19 It 9 daughter somewhere (rogue
(needs hyphen). 18 skirted the 8 his eccentricities (spelling).
(missing word). 17 pebble‑dashed were any number (wrong word).
6 or in Hull (capital letter). 7 there
they said about him seemed
Tapper (as before). 16 anything (plural). 5 grammar school (typo).
(rogue comma). 15 seen Billy he was (missing space). 4 at a boys’
apostrophe). 14 sure how much 2 fall from grace (no capital). 3 and
13 people’s glasses (missing 1 knew him. (missing full stop).
tense). 12 and and try (duplication). Corrections
£25
Could you ruin a passage from a modern novel? Send your
error-ridden First Draft (around 250 words), and the 20
solutions, to firstdraft@writers-forum.com Please note that entries
are accepted via email only. We pay £25 for the best published.
Writers’FORUM #228 15
02/12/2020 16:42:41
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WF227-16.indd 16 04/11/2020 10:18:40


PUBLISHING NOW
What do the publishers predict people will be reading
in 2021? Kathleen Whyman finds out
I
t’s a new year (and am I glad to see the
back of 2020!) which means a new To Be
Read pile. But what will be on that pile?
‘The received wisdom is that in times of
trouble readers move to escapism in fiction,
which is almost categorically untrue if you
look at past sales data,’ says Tom Tivnan,
managing editor of The Bookseller. ‘However,
a definite trend emerging out of this pandemic
is cosy crime. Crime always sells, but the trend
of the last few years has been psychological
thrillers. In 2021, gentle deaths and an ordered
world with a satisfying conclusion is the
escape people will look for.
‘There has been a lot of big acquisitions of
cosy crime books coming out next year,’ he
continues. ‘These include SJ Bennett’s The
Windsor Knot, which has Queen Elizabeth II
solving crimes in the midst of her royal duties,
Death in Paradise creator Robert Thorogood’s
The Marlow Murder Club, Tom Hindle’s A Fatal
Endeavour and Kate High’s debut The Cat and
the Corpse in the Old Barn.’
Phoebe Morgan, editorial director at
HarperFiction & Avon, cites the same
trend. ‘It’ll be interesting to see how the big
autumn books of 2020 influence the next
year of publishing,’ she says. ‘For example,
will Richard Osman’s The Thursday Murder
Phoebe Morgan
of HarperFiction
WF228JAN17publishingnow.indd 17
Club lead to a spate of cosy crime? It’s been a
phenomenal success so far and I’m keen to see
if we get a wave of cosier crime as a result.
‘As the pandemic continues I think we’ll
continue to see readers being gripped by
escapist thrillers,’ she adds. ‘I’ve had lots of
books in recently that feature doctors or
other medical professionals as key characters.
I wonder if this is a trend that will spike next
year, as public interest in the Covid-19 crisis
continues. Consumer insight shows that more
people are becoming interested in medicine
(more school students wanting to become
doctors!) and this could be something that
starts being reflected in fiction.’
Genevieve Pegg, publishing director at
HarperNorth, agrees. ‘Everyone will be
seeing what can be learnt from the big hits
of autumn 2020 – the stellar outings from
Richard Osman and Jay Shetty (Think Like a
Monk), for example,’ she says. ‘But publishers
will also be keen to make successes from
titles that might be seen as dark horses –
these are often where word-of-mouth hits
come from.’
‘Never has a year been so difficult to
predict, what with all that’s happened in
2020,’ says Iain Millar, managing director
of Canelo. ‘I hope we see a rush of people
supporting bookshops, after a difficult year
for them and limited access. If that’s the case,
personal recommendations will be more
important than ever – the feeling of trying
something new and loving it. Maybe quirkier
books too; books that have affected people
in unexpected ways will prosper.’
A new hope
Morgan believes novels that bring hope will
perform well: ‘books that put an emphasis
on friendship and connection,’ she says, using
Ruth Jones’s Us Three as an example.
‘The market feels more competitive than
ever of late and I wonder whether this means
we’ll see more high-concept novels getting
cut-through in the market space. Perhaps
even supernatural novels or those that put
a fresh spin on an existing genre. I’m very
excited to publish Sleep Tight by CS Green in
March 2021, a police detective novel with a
supernatural twist. It feels fresh and different.
I think readers will be craving stimulation
after months at home.’
NOVEL MARKETS
The Bookseller’s
Tom Tivnan
‘In 2020, many of us went back to old
favourites for comfort and reassurance,’ says
Millar, ‘be that a great police procedural, a
happy-ever-after romance or a nostalgic family
saga. In 2021, I think you might still get those
genres but served with a bit of a twist.’
Tivnan has noticed a raft of titles that deal
with the difficulties of getting to sleep. ‘This
has been a bubbling-under trend of recent
years, and sort of chimes with the overall
wellness/mindfulness trends of recent years,
with hits such as Matthew Walker’s Why We
Sleep,’ he says. ‘Perhaps Covid-related – or
more accurately Covid anxiety-related – it
seems to be full boil lately, with many books
coming out to help people sleep.
‘Interestingly,’ he notes, ‘this stretches
to fiction, too, with thrillers such as Liam
Bell’s The Sleepless, set in a commune where
“sleep is considered an unnecessary social
construct”; Louise Mumford’s similarly titled
Sleepless, in which a young woman insomniac
takes part in a sleep trial on a Scottish island
“where nothing is what it seems”; and Jemma
Wayne’s While Sleeping, where a woman’s
sleep disorder “comes back to haunt her
when her high school sweetheart’s daughter
goes missing”.’
So, we have comfort reads in the form of
cosy crime and hope. And stimulation from
the novels featuring twists, thrills and the
supernatural. And if they prove to be too
stimulating, then there will be plenty of books
advising us how to get to sleep
afterwards. 2021’s To Be Read
list is sorted.
• Kathleen’s comic novel Wife
Support System (Hera Books)
is available as an ebook from
Amazon, Kobo and Apple
Writers’FORUM #228 17
02/12/2020 11:23:00
 CHILDREN’S BOOKS

WRITING4CHILDREN
HARSHER BUT MORE VULNERABLE Sibéal Pounder talks to Anita
Loughrey about the differences between writing for children and writing for adults

I
write for age seven-plus and
I’m the author of the Witch
Wars and Bad Mermaids series,
Beyond Platform 13 and Tinsel,
which launched in October.
Mrs Claus has always
fascinated me. Everyone
knows who she is and yet no
one really knows her at all.
If you ask a child to tell you
a fact about Santa, they’ll
have them coming out of
their ears, everything from
his impressive skillset to his
snack preferences. Mrs Claus
is usually met with: ‘Um, she’s
Santa’s wife.’ And: ‘She’s old.’
What we know about Santa
(the commercial version of him
– the large jolly man in the red
suit with the sleigh and elves)
came about mostly in the 1800s,
including the introduction of
Mrs Claus. It got me thinking
about how women were
seen back then and how in
many ways Mrs Claus is a
relic of those times – a mere
background character, known
and yet completely unknown,
in a world that didn’t imagine
much of women.
So I thought it would be fun
to go back and find her story.
Tinsel is that story – it’s the
story of young Blanche Claus.
And it turns out, a long time
ago, we all got the Santa story
a bit wrong…

Audience
Writing for children is different
from writing for adults, for a
few reasons. First of all, they
are much harder to impress.
They are busy people and
unlike adults, who will slog
through a book hoping it gets
better, kids are quite happy
to chuck it in at four pages
deep and move on. You’ve got
to hold their attention and

18 Writers’FORUM #228

WF228JAN18children.indd 18 02/12/2020 11:23:41

 PICTURE BOOKS STORY BOOKS EASY READERS CHAPTER BOOKS MIDDLE GRADE YOUNG ADULT
EASY READERS CHAPTER BOOKS MIDDLE GRADE YOUNG ADULT PICTURE BOOKS STORY BOOKS
with
children’s author
Anita Loughrey
entertain them from the off.
Another reason writing
for children is different is
they are more vulnerable as
readers. I don’t mean that to be
patronising, I think kids are
often smarter than adults. It’s
just when adults read a book
we do so with a lot of context
about the world already in
place. We read with a clear
understanding that the author’s
experiences and views may
inform the content, and we
come to it with a robustness
and a critical eye.
Adults see books as
something they read, children
see books as somewhere they
go. They learn from what is
said and how characters are
portrayed, what roles they are
given and how they are treated.
It’s a huge responsibility to
write for children – the stories
can shape how they think and
feel, and you have to be very
careful with that.
Two books I’d suggest
reading are: Why You Should
Read Children’s Books Even
Though You Are So Old and Wise,
by Katherine Rundell, and
Sway by Dr Pragya Agarwal,
which is about unconscious
bias – I found it hugely useful
and eye-opening. I’d really
recommend it if you’re a writer,
especially a writer for children.
Each book presents its own
challenges. It certainly doesn’t
get any easier! I wasn’t a big
planner as I felt it was quite
restrictive, but I did plan
Beyond Platform 13 in great
detail, down to each chapter,
because it was an official sequel
to Eva Ibbotson’s The Secret of
Platform 13 and the publisher
had to approve the outline
before the work began. I found
the planning transformative
WF228JAN18children.indd 19
and I really enjoyed working
that way, so when it came to
writing Tinsel I did a lot of
planning.
I always try to write the first
draft quickly – in a month if
I can. It’s always terrible but I
usually find little glimmers of
good bits that I can work with.
Then I edit over and over again.
Start anew
If you’re writing for children,
keep going, keep writing and
working on your manuscript
and submitting to agents. But
also don’t focus too much on
one thing – when something is
on submission or resting, start
something new.
My agent signed me with
a manuscript that we didn’t
end up selling. On reflection it
wasn’t very good – and actually
not what I wanted to write, I
just didn’t know it then.
I was still working as a
journalist and everyone said,
‘Write what you know,’ so I
wrote about a kid journalist.
I dared to re-read it recently
and I can see I found the real-
world setting so restrictive.
I should have been writing
fantasy. You grow with every
manuscript and figure things
out as you go.
Then my agent asked if I had
written anything else and I
had Witch Wars, but I’d never
considered submitting it as it
was just something I wrote on
the side because I love witches.
That ended up being my first
published book.
So I always say, don’t write
what you know, write what
you love – and make sure
that you keep writing. Every
book you write will help your
writing ambitions, in one way
or another.
Comedy
I think Tinsel stands out
because it takes everything
we know about Santa and tells
the story in a different – and
hopefully funny – way.
A lot of the comedy in the
book came from playing
around with the story, and
having the reader know more
than the characters.
It’s set over 100 years ago
when the Santa story began.
After delivering the presents,
Blanche reads the newspaper
reports and exclaims, ‘They
think I’m an old-bearded man
called Santa Claus?’ Carol the
elf assures her: ‘It’ll never
catch on.’
I also had fun messing with
established Christmas things –
elf stands for Einfrieren Little
Fairy, and elves are just what
fairies look like in incredibly
cold temperatures, for example.
I love how hilarious kids are.
When I do events, we often do
creative writing games and
they have the most brilliant
responses. One kid wrote an
entire story about a spider
that tries to befriend a ball of
fluff, believing it to be another
spider. It was genius.
I love creating characters.
Sometimes they are fully
formed in my head, sometimes
just a name. I think what I’ve
learned over time is to see the
characters as having roles and
really question if you need
them all. Sometimes it makes
a lot of sense to smoosh two
or more characters together
and have them be just the one
character.
That’s possibly something
everyone does anyway – I
think because I see them as
actual people it didn’t occur to
me for a long time that I could
give their role or characteristics
or face to another character to
streamline everything.
Tinsel has quite a small
cast – if you don’t count the
thousands of elves all called
Carol – and I wanted to have a
sense of underlying balance in
the book as it explores issues
around gender bias. So
I wanted every character to
have a counterpart.
Blanche and Captain
Garland are counterparts, for
example, because they are both
adventurers, or Mr Krampus
and Carol, because they are
the two most powerful
characters in the book. It was
fun to add that extra layer – I
don’t think anyone will notice
it particularly, but it provides
a balance, I think.
My main tip when writing
for children is to make
everything bigger. Make
the world you’re writing
bigger, the characters bigger.
Sometimes when people write
for children they make the
story small because that’s how
they think of children. But
kids have big minds and they
want big adventures. So make
everything bigger.
• Sibéal’s website is www.
sibealpounder.com and she’s
on Twitter @sibealpounder and
Instagram @sibeal.pounder
Writers’FORUM #228 19
02/12/2020 11:23:54
 FREELANCE MARKETS
THE MAGAZINE SCENE
Adam Carpenter gives a round-up of launches, trends and other magazine news
Money matters
New year is a time when people
often review their finances.
Miss Millennia magazine focuses
on money and career-related
content that resonates with
millennial women. The key areas
to cover are how to make money
and how to save money.
In terms of making money,
recent posts include ‘How to
make money with Instagram
right now’ and ‘6 things you need
to start a YouTube channel.’ As
for saving money posts, there’s
‘7 top ways to save money while
travelling’ and ‘19 affordable
things to do at home with friends.’
According to the site, 58 per
cent of readers are aged 18-34
and 75 per cent are women, but
you needn’t hone your idea for
them too much. And bring your
own experiences to the table.
The readership want practical
steps to help them figure out the
tough stuff.
The guidelines state: One of the
things our readers love most is how
our various contributors speak from
different points of view.
Visit: missmillmag.com
Homeless voices
When you think of publications
that cover homelessness, the
first one that’s likely to spring to
mind is The Big Issue… but can
you name another? Well, online
magazine Invisible People recently
tweeted an appeal for content.
The title has the powerful tagline
‘Changing the story of homelessness’
and features articles from the US
and the UK.
Top of their home page are
first-hand accounts from people
who are homeless or have had
experience of being in that
position.
They urge readers to see, learn
and take action, so any ideas that
20 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN20freelancemarket.indd 20
Webmag Invisible People is
looking to help the homeless
encourage people to be proactive
with help, or that report how a
community is making a difference
to the lives of its homeless, ideally
bringing down the number of
people on the streets, are going
to be welcome.
There’s a lot of scope for
video content as well as words,
and a real chance to get involved
with this important cause as
long as you are ready with your
investigative reporting hat.
Founder Mark Horvath told
Writers’ Forum: ‘We are looking
for journalists, not copywriters.
We also give preference to
people who are sleeping rough
or sofa-surfing and writing about
their experiences.’
Email: writers@invisiblepeople.tv
Health writing
If you’re adopting a ‘new year,
new you’ mantra in 2021, you
might be keen to contribute to
Elemental, a health and wellness
magazine that forms part of the
online creative hub Medium. The
team are always keen to receive
ambitious and trustworthy
reporting on the many ways to
live a healthy life. Here are some
pointers…
■ The aim of Elemental is to help
people become more informed
about their bodies and minds
and how to live a healthier life.
Whatever you pitch, it must
be backed up by science-based
experts, so mention who you
intend to speak to in your initial
approach. If they like your idea,
they might well suggest further
people to contact to support
what you are writing.
■ Personal essays are welcome
but again need to be backed up
by science – the ‘but it happened
to me’ argument won’t hold any
weight.
■ Of course, Covid-19 has
featured prominently in the
last year, so any on-the-ground
research into the way it is
spreading or the mental health
issues it is bringing up in certain
arenas will be a welcome addition
to the site’s Coronavirus Blog.
■ The same applies to all other
health topics. As the guidelines
state: We’re partial to original
pieces that are relevant to the
moment, well-shaped, and richly
sourced.
■ Obviously, mental wellbeing is
an on-trend topic but one section
you might wish to consider
approaching is ‘My Therapist
Says’. As the title suggests, this
is a series of essays about advice
received in therapy, eg ‘My
Therapist Says… that’s a thought,
not a feeling.’ You don’t need to
quote your actual therapist in the
essay but once again, you’ll need
to consult and quote an expert to
back up what you are saying.
■ Don’t be disheartened if you
don’t hear back from the team.
They urge writers to keep trying
or, perhaps more effectively,
publishing their own content
via the main Medium hub. Set up
an account and your work will
be seen by anyone who follows
you. It may then be picked up
and featured in the Medium Daily
Digest, and the Elemental team
might get in touch. Job done!
Visit: elemental.medium.com
True-life market
True-life magazines such as Take
a Break and Real People are always
on the hunt for strong real-life
stories, but it’s easy to forget
there are similar publications in
the weekend papers. The Sun on
Sunday’s Fabulous magazine is one
example and its deputy features
editor Rosie Gižauskas recently
took to Twitter to appeal for
stories, saying: We want must-read
stories told in a female voice (about
UK women!), with great pics.
The magazine pays £350 for
1000 words and recent pieces
have included: ‘My toddler is
an Instagram influencer’, ‘I was
02/12/2020 11:24:44

pregnant with surrogate twins –
when the parents changed their
minds’ and ‘Going blind didn’t
stop me planning my dream
wedding.’ So anything goes, in
other words!
Email: rosie.gizauskas@
fabulousmag.co.uk
Words on wine
US-based Wine Enthusiast is a
magazine of good vintage itself,
having first been published in
1979. It’s now keen to hear
ideas from anywhere the world
regarding how wine is being
grown, made, sold and drunk.
Pour yourself a cheeky glass while
you muse over these tips…
■ The word ‘enthusiast’ is really
important here, so if you have
an interesting take or have new
research into the history of wine,
whether that be a grape variety
or a particular method or part of
the process of wine making, then
you could turn it into an idea with
significant appeal to the magazine.
■ Also welcome are concise
personal essays on any ‘vinous’
experience that happened to
you that you think might merit
recounting. It can be something
serious or humorous, although
maybe hold fire on pitching the
time you got a little bit tipsy
in London’s Vinopolis wine
museum and tried eating the
plastic exhibits of some of the
ingredients. (Ed: sadly, this is a true
confession from Adam…)
■ Look out for trends and
innovations in the wine world
across multiple destinations and
businesses, such as one recent
post: ‘Dry-hopped wines could
WF228JAN20freelancemarket.indd 21
bridge the beer–wine divide – if
given the chance.’
■ Ideas shouldn’t focus on a
single producer or business.
You can, however, submit one
for the magazine’s 100 Best
Wine Restaurants or 40 Under
40 Tastemakers lists or the
Wine Star Awards with a short
biography that can be kept on
file. Keep the details of who you
submit as an expert or case
study for future ideas.
■ If there’s a thriving wine scene
in an area near you that you feel
hasn’t been covered, consider
turning it into a wine-centric city
guide. Or you could suggest a list
of pubs around the world under
a particular theme, such as ‘Five
of the world’s most haunted bars’.
■ Keep your idea short. For
the print magazine, the team are
generally looking for pieces of
around just 350 words, so make
every one count. Posts for the
website vary in length; check
before submitting.
Visit: winemag.com
Show originality
If you discover a new TV series or
film over the festive season, you
could turn it into an article idea,
especially if you can offer a fresh
perspective or theory.
Website Digital Spy regularly
appeals for pitches from writers
of all levels of experience,
particularly those who have been
historically underrepresented in
entertainment media, including
Black, Asian, Latinx and Middle
Eastern writers. The site has
also long promoted the voices of
LGBTQ+ and disabled people. In
fact, as the guidelines say: We only
ask that you have a strong idea and
the talent to write it up.
Subjects to avoid are general
TV or film reviews, which they
are not looking for, and covering
anything to do with an old TV
show or film – unless there is a
major related news story or a
reboot or sequel is announced.
One way to see if your idea will
be welcome is to run the show
or movie title through an internet
search. If not very much comes
up, you’re more likely to be on to
a winner. Get watching!
THIS WRITING LIFE
ALL GOOD THINGS…
I
t’s not often that an interview takes a year to set up but, as
you’ve probably noticed, this hasn’t been a usual year.
My assignment began last January, when music mag editor
Pete announced that he was planning a ’90s-themed issue. I
immediately suggested an interview with a certain star from
the era.
‘If he’ll do it,’ Pete chuckled. ‘He’s always been a difficult
so-and-so!’
That much was true. But I remembered that he’d once been
a client of Miss Chirpy PR and asked if she still had an ‘in’. A
week later, she chirped: ‘He might do it! Can you send over the
questions in advance?’
This was the first sign that Mr Difficult was going to live
up to his reputation – no one normally asks to see questions
in advance. In my experience, though, a lot of combative
interviewees only became that way because they were given
a hard time by the press in the past. Mr Difficult, for example,
had endured more than his share of knocking copy. So I was
confident that if I sent him a set of questions that showed a
respectful interest in his music, he’d be more responsive.
Next came a request for picture approval. ‘No problem,’
I answered.
Before I could set up the interview, however, Pete announced
that the mag was being furloughed until autumn at least. I was
keen to do the interview anyway, so it would be ready for when
the mag returned. I assumed that, being locked down with
nothing else to do, Mr Difficult would welcome a chat on the
phone. He, on the other hand, decided he’d hold off until we had
a definite run-date for the feature. I hoped he wouldn’t change
his mind by then.
Come autumn, the mag returned, albeit as a bi-monthly and
with a new editor. Poor Pete, a freelance, had been let go by the
publisher so that staff editor Nat could keep his full-time job by
helming two titles published in alternate months. Unfortunately
for me, Nat had dropped the idea of a ’90s issue and wasn’t
keen on featuring Mr Difficult, at least in the relaunch issue. He
promised to consider him for the next one, but I was beginning
to think it would never happen.
The following month, though, Miss Chirpy chirpily announced
that Mr Difficult had spent lockdown compiling a box set to be
released in time for Christmas. Nat was suddenly interested
in him for the December issue and a phoner was promptly
arranged. And do you know what? Mr Difficult was as nice as
pie, even telling me how much he enjoyed our chat. And, having
despaired of it ever happening, I rather enjoyed it myself.
Writers’FORUM #228 21
02/12/2020 11:24:55
 FICTION MARKET
INSIDESTORY
Douglas McPherson reveals how it was fourth time lucky
for a story about a newspaper editor
R
ejection is part of a
writer’s life, and you
should never take
knock-backs as a cue
to give up. As a new writer,
however, you might wonder
how many times you should
send a particular story into the
world before admitting that it
ain’t gonna fly.
Kathryn Stockett’s debut
novel The Help was rejected
60 times before going on to
sell 10 million copies – which
suggests not one of those pros
could recognise a bestseller
when they saw one.
But does that mean you
should bullishly ignore all
rejections and keep sending
your work out until there is
not one agent or editor left
in the world that you haven’t
troubled? Or should you take
on board every comment and
continually rewrite your work?
A lot depends on why you’re
being rejected…
If it’s for technical problems
such as bad grammar,
poor spelling and general
readability, then you need
to get that fixed. A standard
rejection letter may not point
out such faults, so if you’re
not confident about your basic
writing skills, have a friend
look over your work and flag
up any obvious shortcomings.
If more than one editor
points out the same flaw,
meanwhile, such as a weak
ending, you should definitely
ask yourself if they have a
point, and whether you could
improve it.
Subjective
The thing about rejections,
however, is that they’re not
always about the quality of
22 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN22insidestory.indd 22
your work. They often have
more to do with the personal
taste of the editor who’s doing
the rejecting.
That shouldn’t be surprising,
when you think about it.
After all, you must have read
a few books that you didn’t
think much of and which
you wouldn’t have invested
your money to publish – yet
someone else clearly saw
things completely differently.
So, whenever a story comes
winging back to you, don’t
be in a hurry to believe it’s
rubbish, or immediately
start rewriting it. It’s always
worth sending it to a second
magazine and then a third in
the hope that another editor
will like all the things that the
first ed didn’t.
That was the case with my
story Yesterday’s News. The
first editor to read it didn’t just
reject it, she wrote a 300-word
diatribe on everything she
hated about it. Far from being
discouraged, I took her tirade
as a compliment. I must have
written something powerful to
have rubbed her so raw!
Inspiration
The idea came from an
article I read about some
high‑achieving women who’d
been brought up with the idea
that they could ‘have it all’ in
terms of a career, marriage
and children. In midlife they’d
become disillusioned with the
dream. Some had sacrificed
family life for their careers and
were having regrets.
I thought that might be a
topical theme for women’s
magazine fiction, and so I
came up with the character
of Eleanor Broome who has
just achieved her life’s goal by
becoming editor of a national
newspaper. Along the way,
she has sacrificed personal
relationships in the interest
of chasing scoops. Having
reached the top, she realises
she has no one to share her
success with.
At the same time, I’d been
thinking about a hard-drinking
journalist acquaintance of
mine whose writing had
deteriorated into a series of
bitter rants. (It wasn’t me,
honestly!)
So I came up with Eleanor’s
antagonist, the alcoholic
columnist Elliot Knight. In the
laddish 1990s he was a showbiz
writer, but he squandered his
talent on debauchery. (‘His pen
was his licence to chase starlets
and drink with stars.’). He’s now
an embittered un-PC dinosaur.
Eleanor hates everything
Knight stands for, so her first
action as new Broome is to
sack him. But this is unpopular
with her staff and particularly
young intern Jessamy, who
turns out to be Knight’s niece.
Shamed by Jessamy into
reading a book Knight wrote
in his prime, Eleanor becomes
intrigued by the man she fired.
She goes to visit him at his flat
where, peering through the
letterbox, she sees him lying
in an alcoholic coma.
Thanks to Eleanor, Knight
is rushed to hospital just in
time to save his life – although
he’s not grateful.
The hospital bedside scene
that follows finds the feminist
and the chauvinist striking
sparks off each other:
‘Have you heard of the
Rectory?’
‘The place where the rich and
famous go to stop drinking?’
‘How would you like an all-
expenses-paid stay there?’
‘I wouldn’t, for three reasons.
I’m not rich, I’m not famous and
I don’t want to stop drinking.’
Eleanor meets his hard
attitude with one of her own:
‘I’m sorry you feel that way,
but if you refuse to be helped,
perhaps you’ll sign your book for
me. It might be worth something
when you’re dead.’
‘To the last woman who gave
me the boot? Gladly. Got a pen?’
When Elliot goes to
autograph the paperback,
however, he sees it’s already
signed.
‘This is Jessamy’s copy.’
‘You’re her hero, Elliot. Don’t
ask me why, but she worships
you.’
‘She’s the daughter I never had,’
Elliot said softly.
‘Isn’t she worth living for?’
Eleanor pressed.
Eleanor makes him a deal.
Her newspaper will pay for his
stay in rehab in return for him
writing about it for the Sunday
supplement.
‘You can stop drinking or not
stop drinking – I don’t care. Just
write me a piece as good as that
book. Do you think you can still
do that?’
The final scene finds a
cleaned-up Elliot in Eleanor’s
office a few months later,
where I managed to squeeze
in an exchange I’d actually had
with an editor, although mine
02/12/2020 11:25:44
 By Douglas McPherson Touching tales

She waved the paperback at her intern.

“Let me tell you something. Nothing is
permanent in the media. I have to make tough
decisions – and if you ever find yourself behind
this desk, you’ll have to make them, too.”
At home that evening, Eleanor took out Elliot’s
book. She’d always known of it. Although long
out of print, his memoir about his early years in
newspapers was cult reading.
Eleanor had never read it before, on principle.
She and Elliot had started out at the same time,
but even then she’d hated everything he stood for.

Yesterday’s news
“Elliot Knight...?”
“Well, things are looking up.” His grey eyes
travelled the length of her suit.
“I’m Eleanor Broome,” she said stiffly. “I’ve
When an ambitious new editor takes over the paper, replaced Bruce Longbranch as editor.”
“You’re a lot better looking than Bruce.” His
she sees no place for their washed-up old columnist
She’d resented his posh school background
and author father who had helped him get a well-
paid column straight out of university. He’d never
had to fight the way she had.
While she’d been a crusading investigative
reporter, Elliot’s pen had been his licence to chase
starlets and drink with stars. Curious, Eleanor

R
iding up in the glass lift, Eleanor
Broome ignored the spectacular
view of the Thames. She was too
busy studying her newspaper. After
a week as editor, it was too soon to
see the scale of change she had in mind but was
pleased with the start she’d made.
The one fly in the ointment was Elliot Knight’s
weekly column: A View from a Barstool. She
could barely read the first paragraph without
wanting to hurl it to the floor.
It was hard to believe such un-PC dinosaurs
still stalked the earth.
She strode into the newsroom.
“Morning, Ms Broome.” A blonde intern
handed her a coffee.
“Morning, Jessamy. Tell me, why isn’t Elliot
Knight’s email in the system?”
“I don’t think Elliot does email,” Jessamy smiled.
“Then how does he send his copy?” Eleanor
demanded.
“He phones it in to Mr Patel.” Jessamy pointed
to a chubby sub-editor.
“Morning, Paven,” Eleanor strode over. “Do you
have Elliot’s phone number?”
“Oh, I don’t think he has a phone,” Paven smiled.
Pic shutterstock
Paven exchanged a look with Jessamy.
“If Elliot’s ever unavailable, I just make his
column up. I mean, it’s pretty much the same
every week.”
“No phone number, no email?” Eleanor threw
up her hands. “How am I supposed to tell him
he’s fired?”
“You can’t fire Elliot!” Jessamy blurted.
“He’s like a piece of history!” Paven added.
“Exactly!” Eleanor fumed. “His rantings may
have been acceptable 30 years ago, but there’s no
place for it in 2020. Now, where would I find him?”
“The Inkwell, Soho,” Paven supplied.
“Lunchtime’s best, while he’s still coherent.”
It was the tattiest pub Eleanor had ever seen.
In the Nineties, it had been the hang-out for
journalists, actors and comedians – a place where
beery gossip was turned into the next day’s
headlines.
Eleanor opened the door and the stale air
turned her stomach.
Two middle-aged men were perched on stools.
One was a television character actor known
for playing ne’er do wells. The other, Eleanor
recognised from the picture above his column.
He looked older than he did in the paper,
eyes twinkled. “Come to give me a raise?” opened the paperback. She was surprised to find
“I’m making some changes,” Eleanor snapped. herself chuckling at the first couple of pages.
“And I’m afraid your column no longer fits the When had he stopped writing so brilliantly
image we wish to present. I’m sorry, but we have and become a bitter ranter?
to let you go.” She flicked forward
“What?” and the book fell open at
‘Whenever it came down
“It appears you don’t a passage about the one
have a contract,” Eleanor to letting a boyfriend down woman he seemed to have
continued, “So I suggest one or missing a scoop, she’d fallen for. His feelings had
more column to say goodbye always put her career first’ been unrequited and she’d
and we’ll call it a day.” treated him as unfeelingly as
“Now wait a minute...” he’d treated many others.
As Eleanor headed for the door, she saw Elliot “Serves you right,” Eleanor muttered. Yet he
lift himself from the bar stool, his foot slipping wrote so eloquently of his heartbreak that he
through the foot rest and he crashed to the carpet. reminded her of her own lost loves.
“I told you what would happen if they made Elliot wasn’t the first to call her a man-hater, but
that man-hating feminist editor!” he raged, too it wasn’t true. It was just that whenever it came
drunk to stand. down to letting a boyfriend down or missing a
Eleanor walked away. scoop, she’d always put her career first. Now she
The following Monday, Eleanor found a was at the top and had no one to share it with, she
battered paperback on her desk: The Writer’s wondered if she’d always made the right choices.
Progress by Elliot Knight. The Inkwell was empty apart from the barman
“What’s this?” she demanded. when Eleanor returned. On the wall were several
“I thought you might like to read it,” Jessamy framed clippings of Elliot’s columns, all yellowed
sniffed. “That’s the book that made me want to with age.
get into newspapers. He’s my uncle, by the way.” “Is Elliot around?” She asked.
“I see.” “We haven’t seen him since you sacked him,”

“He usually calls from a payphone in the pub.” with greying hair overdue for a trim. She could All her life, Eleanor had dreamed of editing the barman said pointedly.
“What if his copy’s late?” Eleanor snapped. nevertheless still see why he had been a serial a national newspaper. Somehow, she’d never “I see. Do you know where he lives?”
“How do you contact him?” seducer in his youth. thought it would mean having to sack people. “I should do, after all the times I’ve had to pour

34 YOURS n FICTION SPECIAL YOURS n FICTION SPECIAL 35

was about a short story I’d just the women’s weeklies. Despite was, as they say, final. There
had accepted: the happy ending, with its My real-life didn’t seem much hope of
hint of romance, it was quite a winning her around with a
‘Your piece brought a tear to my hard-boiled tale about a pair
ed seemed rewrite, so I sent the story to
eye,’ Eleanor admitted. of hard-boiled characters. offended another mag.
‘Do I get more money for tears?’ I thought the portrait of The next ed didn’t seem
Elliot smirked. newspaper life was true to life, by my to take things so personally,
‘I didn’t cry that much.’ though, and that the story had but still rejected it with the
something to say about the
fictional ed comment: ‘I don’t think our
Elliot asks if he can have his difference between the way readers are ready for an
old column back, but times have writers present themselves in a vengeance – almost as if alcoholic hero.’
moved on. Instead, Eleanor print compared with their real Eleanor was a real person. She wished me success
invites him to write some selves. My real-life ed seemed elsewhere, but when the third
restaurant reviews, lacing Eleanor, for example, sees particularly offended by mag I tried didn’t even reply, I
them with anecdotes about Elliot as a skirt-chasing the idea that my fictional ed began to wonder if Yesterday’s
London back in the day. chauvinist, while he views regretted sacrificing her chance News would ever be published.
Elliot agrees, on the condition her as a man-hating feminist. of marriage and children for It was then that I heard
that she’s his dinner guest. But are those just their her career. about the newly launched
writing personas? Are they I knew from the article I’d Yours Fiction quarterly (which
‘You don’t change, do you?’ exaggerations for effect or read that some women felt we profiled in WF#219). With
Eleanor blushed. self-caricatures they have that way, but Mrs Fiction Ed nothing to lose, I submitted
‘I don’t think most people do,’ grown into? was perhaps one of the women my story and, to my delight,
said Elliot. ‘It’s just that you don’t who had been brought up to the editor, bought it for the
always know who they really were The editor’s decision… believe in the dream of ‘having summer issue. Which just goes
in the first place.’ As I said, the first editor I it all’ and didn’t like to hear to show that a story rejected
‘You’re probably right,’ said sent it to ripped it to shreds. that it didn’t always come true. by one mag may be a shoo-in
Eleanor. And as she looked into a In her view every character Maybe she had suppressed for another.
pair of grey eyes that were sober was a cliché, from home regrets of her own that I’d
for the first time in years, she counties intern Jessamy to inadvertently touched on. How to Write and
realised she might enjoy getting to Bradford-born sub-editor That’s what I mean when Sell Fiction to
know the real Elliot Knight. Paven Patel – even though they I say rejections are often as Magazines by
were all based on real people much about the editor as the Douglas McPherson
Reservations I knew. work. is available to
I did wonder if the depiction of Most of all, she hated the Whatever the reason, download from the
alcoholism was too strong for character of Eleanor with however, the editor’s decision Kindle store.

Writers’FORUM #228 23

WF228JAN22insidestory.indd 23 02/12/2020 11:25:59

 WRITING EXERCISE
10 TIPS ON DIRECT
DIALOGUE
Barbara Dynes offers help for writers who find direct
dialogue challenging – and sets an exercise
1
Know your
characters Knowing
your characters – the main
one, in particular – will
help enormously when it comes
to writing their dialogue. For
example, an older, sophisticated
woman and a happy-go-lucky
teenager will each speak very
differently, mainly because of the
contrast in age and attitude to
life. Their choice of words will be
poles apart. But, if you have two
characters of the same sex and
around the same age, it is not so
easy to vary their dialogue.
Before you start writing, do a
character sketch of their good
points, weaknesses, hobbies, etc.
Then you’ll instinctively know
how each will react; they will
speak as individuals. Also, you
24 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN24exercises.indd 24
won’t need too many ‘Jane said’
or ‘Ange said’ tags; it should be
obvious who is speaking.
For example, say confident,
spirited Jane and her quiet pal
Ange, who is more conscientious,
are reprimanded for being late
for work. ‘Give over; I couldn’t help
the flaming traffic!’ might be Jane’s
reaction. But Ange is more likely
to answer: ‘So sorry. I’ll do extra
2
time to make up.’
Keep dialogue
short Unless the
speaker is giving a
lecture or a lengthy
explanation about something, the
shorter and snappier the speech
the better. Again, characterisation
is key – some people tend to
choose their words carefully,
others gabble on, often going
right off the point.
If you have created the latter
type, it might be better to allow
the character to say a couple
of lines, then go into indirect
dialogue: She went on and on about
her grandma… By trying to convey
all of it via direct dialogue, you
risk boring the reader and holding
up the story.
Shorter speeches tend to be
3
more dynamic and entertaining.
Interruptions
and breaks In
everyday life, no one
speaks for long without
interruption or hesitation.
So, although you can’t imitate
everyday speech exactly – adding
the ‘ahs’, ‘erms’ and misplaced
words we’re all guilty of using
would drive readers mad – you
want it to sound natural. Allow
breaks now and again, even with
just one-word interceptions. Also,
giving your speaker something
mundane to do can add to the
tension and interest.
Example: ‘There’s no way you’re
going out tonight and that’s final!’
Su slammed down the iron. ‘I’ve
just about had enough…’ Her
voice trailed off as the back door
slammed. She glared at his unironed
4
shirt, wanting to rip it up.
Emotional
purpose Hesitations
in dialogue can be used
to show emotion in a
non-verbal way. A break in the
conversation can indicate the
speaker’s true feelings, which are
sometimes the opposite of those
expressed in speech.
Example: ‘I really don’t give a
damn who you went out with, Stella,’
he said. Turning away, he faked
interest in a crowd of youths at the
bar. Anything to avoid Stella’s eyes.
5
‘Our lad is my only concern.’
He said Using ‘he (or
she) said’ after someone
speaks is usually
adequate and preferable
to more colourful verbs such
as ‘roared’ or ’threatened’. ‘He
asked’ or ‘he answered’ are also
fine. Sometimes, though, you
need to be a bit more emphatic.
Example: ‘Get out of my sight –
now!’ he yelled.
Again, it all depends on the
character. ‘Said’ instead of ‘yelled’
might work better here, if he said
it in a controlled manner.
Beware of using unnecessary
adverbs. The manner in which the
words are expressed should be
02/12/2020 11:26:44

obvious in the actual dialogue. But
keep your market in mind; the
magazine’s policy might be to pile
on the dramatic emphasis.
(Bad) examples:
‘Don’t you ever do that again!’ he
Writers’FORUM
dialogue instead – which makes
for a far less entertaining read.
Authors of historical
EXERCISE
Talk us through it
non-fiction must be truthful and
accurate about the actual facts,
but when the precise words the

exclaimed angrily.
‘I’m over the moon!’ she cried
happily.
Those adverbs are just
distractions from the dialogue
itself. The speaker’s emotions
have already been expressed by
A
people said are not recorded, it’s
usually fair to reconstruct your
The following situation is ‘told’ in a reported
own direct dialogue. It makes for
much more lively reading.
way. Using lots of direct dialogue, bring the
In travel writing, allowing a characters and scenes to life. How many
local personality from a specific ‘he said’, ‘she said’ tags will you use? Show
area to actually speak can help emotion in the words each person uses,

6
their words. bring its people and facts – as well rather than resorting to adding adverbs to

Moving the story
on At the revision stage,
always check that any
dialogue is necessary.
Does it move the storyline on in
some way?
Dialogue needs to act as a sort
of bridge. As well as showing
characterisation, it must do
something for the story.
Make sure you haven’t used
up too many valuable words by
allowing people to comment
on mundane things. Unless, of
course, your character’s moans
about the weather are vital to
9
as the location – to life.
Use of words Avoid
overuse of dialect: local
accents and words used
by people from a specific
area. Using dialect too much can
irritate readers unfamiliar with
that part of the country – they
have to try to decipher it.
Better, perhaps, to use a little
to set the scene, then add a word
or two as a reminder, just now
and again. Try, instead, to apply
the rhythm of the speech from
that area.
Clichés are best avoided, even
the tags.
Sonya’s formal, tactless office manager tells her he is sorry
but he has to make people redundant and Sonya is to be one
of them. Sonya, who is always blunt and says what she thinks,
is horrified and demands to know why it has to be her when
she’s been so conscientious at her job. The manager gets huffy
and says he can’t go into reasons and she storms out. She
goes back to her own office, which she shares with an older,
sympathetic woman. The woman is much meeker, but smug,
because they are keeping her on.
Sonya goes home and tells her husband and teenage son.
The laid-back son, jobless himself, laughs and says she is better
off out of it if that’s how they treat people. The husband is
quite stroppy, worrying how they’ll cope with less money. He
declares that she has taken a lot of time off lately, pretending

7
the story!
Artificial ‘telling’
Sometimes, it’s difficult
to get information across
to the reader in a natural
in speech, unless your character
tends to use them frequently:
‘Her boyfriend is a real wet blanket
and she’s as timid as a mouse!’
But don’t use too many. Being so
familiar, they make no impact at
she was ill. Perhaps she deserves to be the one to go?
Sonya loses her temper, shouting about his cynical attitude,
saying he doesn’t care, that he is like it with everyone –
detached and unfeeling. She bursts into tears. He gets angry
and says he’s off to the pub.

way. But don’t be tempted to put
too much explanation across in
dialogue. ‘You’ve never liked Gary,
have you?’ is fine, but obvious
‘telling’ is not.
Example: ‘You and Gary have
never hit it off, Pete,’ said Tom. ‘You
were always fighting as kids. Then
when your sister married his cousin
it caused more trouble. Now you
hardly speak at all.’
That is not natural dialogue.
Pete, of course, would already
know about his sister marrying
his cousin and that he and Gary
don’t speak. Find another way of
getting new information across
10
all on the reader.
Notes
Read dialogue
aloud as you
write Reading
aloud is valuable
advice when it comes to any
form of writing, but particularly
(and obviously) with speech. By
reading your work aloud you’ll
pick up any unnaturalness or
awkward stumbling over words
or sentences, and spot any
surplus dialogue that does nothing
for the story.
Direct dialogue can brighten

8
to the reader. and lighten your fiction in a really
entertaining way. Don’t shirk it!
Non-fiction Writers
are sometimes reluctant
to use dialogue in Barbara Dynes’ latest
non-fiction. Authors of book, Masterclasses
memoirs, for instance, will say in Creative Writing,
they can’t recall exactly what was is published by
said on a certain occasion, so Constable & Robinson
Completed // My rating /
they record it in vague, indirect at £9.99

Writers’FORUM #228 25

WF228JAN24exercises.indd 25 02/12/2020 11:26:54

 ADVICE
Robin Dynes explains why a rule is a flexible beast
W
riting advice is mostly
given with the best
of intentions. It is
everywhere: in groups,
writing classes, on the internet, in books,
blogs and across YouTube. It is handed
out by fellow writers, by tutors, mentors,
editors and well-meaning others. Some of
it is good, some contradictory, and some
downright awful.
But how do you know when it’s the right
advice for you?
We delight in quotes from best-selling
authors, but their guidance is not always
the most sensible. Here are some examples:
‘A sentence should not have more than
ten or twelve words.’
VS Naipaul
If you read his books, you’ll find he
didn’t think this applied to him!
‘Actually, if a writer needs a
dictionary he should not write.’
Ernest Hemingway
Oh dear, I have two within easy reach.
‘You must refrain from rewriting,
except to editorial order.’
Robert A Heinlein
Really? I don’t think most writers would
agree.
‘Stop reading fiction – it’s all lies
anyway, and it doesn’t have anything
to tell you that you don’t know
already (assuming, that is, you’ve read a great
deal of fiction in the past; if you haven’t, you
have no business whatsoever being a writer
of fiction).
Will Self
I agree with the final sentiment here.
The first part is more doubtful.
26 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN26advice.indd 26
More questionable advice…
‘Write every day’
I hear this often. You may be told you need
to write every day, even if you feel ghastly.
But what works for one person doesn’t
necessarily work for everyone. There is no
need to take it literally.
Fine, if you are keeping a daily journal.
It may also help you get into the habit of
sitting down and writing regularly. Some
writers may write every day, especially if
they’re deep into a novel and the words
are flowing. But, for most, it varies. You
may spend some days researching, talking
to people, thinking, planning, reading
or doing something to relax and let the
subconscious work.
As with all advice, you need to find
what works for you. It will also depend on
deadlines and what routine best suits your
particular project. feeling and sensations on to the page.
This doesn’t mean you need to murder
‘Write what you know’ someone to know how it feels! But you can
Despite never having experienced war, read about it, watch a documentary or talk
living in a different culture or working to someone about the subject.
in high finance, beginners want to write
about it. If they do little or no research ‘Kill your darlings’
and get it wrong it usually shows in the I have heard this attributed to writers from
writing. Hence the advice. William Faulkner to Stephen King. Many
However, to advance you have to stretch seem to interpret it as meaning that if you
your limits and often write about what have a special liking for a phrase – or a
you don’t know. This means sometimes sentence, scene, passage or character – you
writing from the point of view of someone should probably delete it. Or should you
from a different culture or of a different take a more cautious approach?
sexual orientation, with different skills, Ask yourself, is that unique turn of
knowledge or outlook from yourself. phrase appropriate or is it just showing off?
Scary? Maybe. It does mean you must Does it move the story on? If you think it
do thorough research, talk to or read will irritate the reader, delete it.
about people from that culture or someone Doing this is not always easy. You may
who has experienced a catastrophe, or have to ask someone else to read your
whatever. It is often a good idea to get manuscript to point out these vanities.
them to check your work for errors.
The late author Diane Doubtfire was ‘It doesn’t matter what other
in her eighties when she wrote about a people think’
character hand-gliding. She had her son This advice is often given after someone
give her lessons so she could get the right has experienced a bad review, or it can be
02/12/2020 16:02:44

RECOGNISING THE GOOD
AND IGNORING THE BAD
Is that unique
turn of phrase
appropriate or is it
just showing off?
a reaction to hide hurt feelings. But if you
are writing a story for other people to read
in a book or magazine they have paid for,
by definition you care what they think.
If you don’t, then you don’t need writing
advice. Write what makes you happy, call
it good if you must, and put it in a drawer
– but don’t ask editors or anyone else to
read it. Or is this attitude just hiding the
fact you can’t be bothered to do the work
to produce a good reading experience?
‘You must have a writing
qualification’
No doubt, if you send your book to an
agent or publisher or want a job teaching
WF228JAN26advice.indd 27
writing, then having a qualification is
good. But many regularly published and
successful writers don’t: JK Rowling,
Danielle Steel, Elizabeth Peters and Robin
Cook, to name a few. They use their
experience and qualifications from other
areas when writing.
You can do the same. If you are a chef,
use it as the background for the main
character of a crime or romance novel.
Having a writing qualification is
desirable and it shows you have learned
your trade, but it is not essential. Nor does
it guarantee you will get published.
‘Don’t edit while you write’
Some writers say ‘Never edit while you
write the first draft.’ Good or bad advice?
If stopping to edit slows you down,
inhibits you getting the first draft done
or finishing it, then it is good advice.
But if you’ve had second thoughts
about something at the beginning of your
narrative that will change things later
in the book, it may be bad advice. Also,
writers work in different ways at different
MYTH BUSTING
times, and may change their approach on
separate projects.
Generally I interpret this advice as don’t
edit when writing a first draft unless it
will benefit or affect the rest of the book.
Polishing to get the sentences or grammar
correct can come later. That said, crime
writer Peter Lovesey edits each chapter as
he completes it. We all work differently.
‘Show don’t tell’
This is more advice that depends on the
context. If it’s an important scene, it should
work best having the reader experience it
through a character’s viewpoint. But if it is
just information the reader needs to know
to understand the story, it is usually better
to ‘tell’ a few key details and move on.
If you show in great detail you are in
danger of holding the story up and boring
the reader. Not everything needs to be told
in excruciating detail.
‘Don’t use flashbacks’
This is in tune with the previous statement.
It’s true that flashbacks can hold up the
story, but they are frequently necessary.
You need to ask yourself whether the
flashback adds to the story. If not, cut it. If
there are any details the reader needs to
know, they can often be shared by other
means – a reflective thought, through
dialogue or simply ‘told’.
That said, flashbacks have many uses,
including being part of the structure of a
story. They have a bad reputation because
they are often overwritten or used without
much skill.
The above are writing ‘tips’ that pop up
regularly. Any advice may be good or bad
depending on how you interpret it and
what you are working on. You will notice
that each declaration is capable of being
interpreted in a ‘rigid’ manner. Instead,
approach such statements with flexibility.
They may hold true in some circumstances
but not in others.
Always balance advice against what you
are writing and want to achieve. My own
tip? Treat all advice with caution.
Writers’FORUM #228 27
02/12/2020 16:02:59
 SHORT SHORT WRITING
Writers’FORUM
FLASH COMP RESULTS
The task was to write a short festive story to cheer us all up
£100 winner
Christmas in a Tin by Sue Martin
T
he parcel from Italy had served its three-day quarantine
period in the hall. Not that Maud considered her
granddaughter infectious, but the postman might be.
She snipped it open and released a biscuit tin. Why would Amy
send biscuits?
Maud peered closer. There was no plastic seal. She prised off the
lid to discover many tiny parcels numbered 1-24. A handwritten
note said: ‘Nanna, as we can’t visit you this December, we made you
an advent calendar to show you are in our thoughts every day. Love –’
followed by five signatures.
Maud grabbed her phone. ‘Amy, you shouldn’t have. It must
have cost a fortune.’
Amy laughed. ‘Wait till you see what’s inside, Nanna.’
Maud opened the present marked ‘1’ and found an exquisite
tiny origami star in sparkly gold paper taken from a magazine.
She recognised the precise work of her great-grandson’s delicate
fingers. Cotton thread looped through one point identified it as a
Christmas tree decoration.
She hadn’t been planning to put up the tree this year, but she
better had now. Four hours later, her ‘realistic’ fake Norwegian
pine glittered in the bay window, the star hanging in a prominent
position. She took a photo, sent it to Amy and received a ‘thumbs
up’ reply. Maud had to admit, the fairy lights made the evenings
less dark and gloomy.
On day two, she opened a tiny jar of honey from Amy’s bees. A
treat indeed, so much tastier than shop-bought honey. She had it
on toast for breakfast, which set her up splendidly.
Each day revealed another inexpensive but perfect present.
By Christmas Eve, the gifts had lifted her spirits and kept her so
busy she’d struggled to fit in her weekly Zoom quiz and the Miss
Marple reruns.
She’d put up decorations including the paper snowflake, made
a Christmas pudding (another thing she wouldn’t have bothered
with) with the silver sixpence, painted her nails with the vibrant
red varnish, and was using the hairgrips decorated with stars to
keep her increasingly long hair in check. What a shame no one
could see the glamorous new Maud.
Number 24 was the final treat, and she didn’t want to open it.
She’d enjoyed her daily gift: tomorrow would be an anticlimax.
Mid-afternoon, Amy phoned to prompt her. Maud opened
the package and found a sachet of custard powder bearing a
telephone number.
Maud frowned. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘You will if you ring it,’ Amy said.
Intrigued, Maud rang.
‘Hello?’ answered a voice she vaguely recognised.
‘Who is this?’
‘Jeffrey, from church. Is that Maud?’
‘Yes. Why has Amy asked me to call?’
‘It’s simple. We’ve both been isolating forever, so she suggested
we share Christmas dinner. I’ll cook the main course if you
28 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN28flash.indd 28
bring the pudding.’
Suddenly everything fell into place. Maud remembered advent
calendars of old, card rectangles with 24 doors, the 25th ‘door’
being the whole thing. She looked at the custard, her nails, the
snowflake, the soft rainbow glow of the fairy lights.
Clever, Amy, clever.
• Sue from Dobcross, Oldham, says: ‘I was inspired to write this when
my son’s partner asked for a jar of our own honey to fit in a 6x6cm box
as she was putting together an advent “calendar” for her grandmother. I
thought, what a lovely idea.’
Editor’s comments
The calendar idea is lovely, but Sue has remembered to turn that
real‑life idea into a story by making the presents add up to a solution to
the main character’s problem. That problem isn’t spelt out at the start,
but the contemporary setting is nicely introduced and we don’t need
reminding how difficult this year has been. We see that Maud wasn’t
going to bother with a tree and decorations or making a Christmas pud,
and hasn’t thought much about her appearance. It’s a simple story but
well told, with a ‘black moment’, when Maud is sad that her treats are
coming to an end, that sets us up nicely for the happy resolution.
Runner-up
Just Not the Same by Katie Waters
T
he screen is blank, but Claire can hear it. It’s the voice she
hears in her head ten times a day, jabbing at everything she
does. ‘Claire?’
‘Mum, you need to turn on the –’
Fiona appears on the screen, wearing her horn-rimmed glasses
and a familiar frown. ‘There you are.’
‘Hi, Mum.’
Claire glances up at Trish, who grins. She’s cooking pasta. Not
very Christmassy, but neither of them cares. For now, they don’t
have to please anyone but themselves.
‘I don’t see why I have to put up with this Zoom-ing business,’
Fiona says. ‘I’ve made more than my fair share of sacrifices this
year.’
‘I’m not great at it either,’ Claire says.
‘Anyway, how are you, darling?’
‘Oh, we’re keeping on.’
Fiona purses her lips. ‘I take it Patricia’s there?’
Trish shakes her head furiously.
‘She’s – upstairs,’ Claire says. ‘Having a nap.’
‘A nap? Well, I suppose she is nearing forty.’
Trish mimes throwing the wooden spoon at the laptop.
‘And how are you, Mum?’ Claire says.
‘Well, this Thursday was going to be my annual gathering.’
‘Oh, of course.’
‘They’re all saying, “Move it to the garden.” Like some kind of
carnival. They have no idea how much I spend on the décor.’
‘Isn’t it nice to have a year off from it?’
‘Hmm.’ Fiona brings a glass of wine into view and sips from it.
02/12/2020 11:27:39

Trish bangs the spoon on edge of the pan.
Fiona looks startled. ‘What was that?’
‘What?’ Claire says.
‘That banging.’
‘Um, next door, I think.’
‘Oh, don’t get me started on my neighbours. You’d be surprised
how much noise two little children can make.’
Claire smiles. ‘Well –’
‘Of course, it must be a nightmare to have children around, this
Christmas. That’s one thing you ought to be grateful for.’
Claire tries to hide her confusion. For as long as she can
remember, Fiona has always insisted, ‘But Christmas just isn’t the
same without children…’
When Fiona excuses herself to powder her nose, Claire clicks
what looks like the mute button and looks up at Trish. ‘I didn’t
think she’d say that, about having kids.’
‘She said this year must be easier without them.’
‘It feels harder,’ Claire says. ‘We were so close.’
‘I know.’ Trish turns the heat down on the stove. ‘The agency
said we shouldn’t have to wait much longer.’
Claire chews her lip. ‘Do you think I should tell her now?’
‘That she’s going to be a grandma?’ Trish sucks her teeth. ‘Wait
till there’s a little more wine in her, maybe.’
‘I’ve had plenty already, thank you, Patricia.’
Claire jumps. Fiona is back on the screen.
Then she realises – she didn’t click the mute button.
‘Oh, Mum, we were going to tell you –’
‘I got it, darling.’ Fiona is wearing a strange half-smile.
‘Do – do you mind?’
‘Mind?’ Fiona laughs. ‘It’s certainly the best news I’ve heard all
year.’
Claire swallows; her throat feels tight.
‘Although…’ Fiona raises an eyebrow. ‘You and Patricia will
have to learn to cook some proper meals.’
• Katie, from Cheltenham, says: ‘I’ve heard a lot of people say Christmas
just won’t be the same this year. It made me think about ways in which
it can be different for a good reason. Hence, despite social distancing, my
protagonist and her mother bond over the prospect of adopting children.’
Editor’s comments
Katie’s story is also about family but one that’s more strained. The
dynamics of the relationship are well presented and there’s a hint of the
adoption angle: ‘For now they don’t have to please anyone but themselves.’
What could have been a schmaltzy ending is nicely tempered by Fiona’s
final cutting remark. Well done to Katie and the rest of the shortlist…
Highly Commended
Blue Christmas by Tom Woodstock – a Santa is made redundant by
Covid, and the twist is that he’s a stripagram called St Knickerless
The Perfect Christmas by Hazel Hutchinson – isolated from their family,
the current situation reminds a couple of their first Christmas together
The Chaos of Christmas Present by Rachel Levy – with lockdown lifted
on Christmas Eve, a woman gives up on gifts and rethinks her priorities
Stay Positive by Lesley Macauley – Maud seems set to be on her own, but
the twist is she’s a young student and her hallmates rally round
Playing a Blinder by Hilary Middleton – a boy plays along with the
preparations for Christmas Eve thinking his dad still believes in Santa
Crowning Glory by Julie Day – an Asian shopkeeper helps with a nativity
A Virtually Silent Night by Katherine Freeman – a choir is saved by tech
Derrick’s Day Off by Andrew Savage – the devil takes a Christmas break
Charity Christmas by Ann West – buying in charity shops turns out well
A Harry Christmas by Steve Burford – a naughty schoolboy gives a
teacher trouble during the annual nativity play
WF228JAN28flash.indd 29
HOW TO ENTER
Writers’FORUM
FLASH COMP
Enter our monthly quick writing
contest with a £100 first prize
T
he editor’s monthly competition for short short
writing has a £100 prize for one winner and a
number of runners-up may also be published,
depending upon the nature of the contest and available
space. The flash competition is FREE FOR SUBSCRIBERS
(single entry only). For non‑subscribers (or extra
subscriber entries) the entry fee is £5, which you can
purchase by following the link on the Writers’ Forum
website (www.writers-forum.com).
Entry is strictly by email only.
Writers’ Forum wants to encourage you to write, so:
■ We will have a theme/task each time so that new
writing has to be produced.
■ There will be a tight deadline so that results can be
published quickly and entrants can’t dither!
The editor’s decision is final and no correspondence over
results will be entered into. By entering, entrants agree to these
rules and for their entries to be published in Writers’ Forum.
COMP 228:
CRACKERS
Deadline: 12 noon
GMT on 28 December
Editor’s assignment:
It’s a busy time of year so
we traditionally run a shorter flash comp in this issue. So
write a topical cracker joke – perhaps about lockdowns
or Brexit, such as this one: Why does Nigel Farage avoid
Christmas dinner? He doesn’t like Brussels. Be sensitive about
Covid-19 as it has caused heartache for a lot of families.
How to enter
1 Paste your entry straight into the body of a new email
(NOT as an attachment) followed by the wordcount
and your name and address. Give your purchase order
number or state if you’re a subscriber to check against
our database. Add a line or two about your inspiration.
2 In the email’s subject line box, write Flash Comp 228
Cracker Joke.
3 Send your email to flashcomp@writers-forum.com
by the deadline above.
The results will be published next issue. Good luck!
Writers’FORUM #228 29
02/12/2020 11:27:51
 HELP! I’VE
outgrown
MY WRITERS’
GROUP
The new year is a good time to assess your literary life and
how best to move forward. Sarah Davies suggests asking
yourself whether your writing group still fits the bill
Y
ou’ve been a member
of your writers’ group
for a while, turning
up to all the meetings,
engaging with the prompts,
giving and receiving feedback
from your fellows.
Then, possibly quite
unexpectedly, probably slowly
over a few weeks or months,
you begin to feel you could
maybe miss a few meetings.
You might find yourself
deciding only to go when
certain other members are
there (or when certain people
Check it still
ticks the boxes
30 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN30outgrowngroup.indd 30
aren’t). You may find yourself
with little to say about the
work others are sharing. You
may feel the feedback you’re
receiving for your work is
unhelpful (‘I liked that’; ‘I love
the way you read your work.’).
You might have outgrown
your writers’ group.
This is the time to really
think about where you are in
your journey as a writer, why
you joined a writers’ group
in the first place and – most
importantly – why you’re still
attending the group today.
Why did you
join the group?
It’s worth, at this stage,
thinking not only about why
you joined a group but why
specifically you joined the
group you’re in.
Did you visit a few before
you settled on your current
group? Think back to what it
was that attracted you to this
group. What did it give you?
Apart from the right day, time
and venue, what was it that
the group members offered?
In my case, I was excited to
join a group of welcoming,
friendly writers who liked
to share work based on a
prompt and whose feedback
was honest, encouraging and
helpful. The group also held
discussions about reading,
movies, TV shows, etc that I
thought might be interesting.
There were explorations of
using other art forms to inspire
or complement our writing
and there were opportunities
to submit work to publications
or to perform.
At the time I joined it was
exactly what I was looking for
to kickstart my exploration of
fiction writing, something I
hadn’t done since school.
Once you’re clear on why
you joined the group in the
first place, consider whether it
has delivered what you hoped:
■ Are you writing more
consistently?
■ Have you been exposed
to writing/inspiration/
opportunities you might
It’s meant
as a challenge
to you, not a
criticism of
others
otherwise have missed?
■ Have you made the most of
the opportunities the group
has afforded you?
■ Have you given and received
constructive feedback that has
helped you and your fellow
writers develop?
■ Has your reason for joining
the group in the first place
been met?
■ Have your reasons/
motivations/aspirations
changed since you joined the
group?
■ Is being a member of this
group now holding you back?
That last point might seem
a bit harsh, but it’s meant as a
02/12/2020 11:28:37

challenge to you and not as a
criticism of the other members
of the group. Let’s look at that
question more closely…
Is being a member
holding you back?
If your current group
comprises members who are
at the same level of knowledge
as you, then it’s really a case
of you all learning together,
finding things out as you go
along. Unless you join a group
where members are better or
more experienced than you, it’s
mostly going to be a case of the
blind leading the blind.
If your current group has
a constant influx of new,
inexperienced writers joining,
then you may find yourself
giving a lot of advice and
feedback and receiving little
constructive criticism of your
own work.
This may be great if you’re
looking for teaching or
coaching experience, but not
so great for your development
as a writer.
WF228JAN30outgrowngroup.indd 31
If you’re treated as one of
the ‘stars’ of your group there’s
a real danger that you’ll stop
growing, simply because no
one challenges you or pushes
you to go further.
If any of the above is
ringing true for you, then it’s
probably time to move on.
That’s not to say that you
can’t stay in touch with the
members of the group socially
or take part in open mic events
or other open opportunities
that the group runs. You’re
simply admitting to yourself
that to move your writing
to the next level, you need
something different.
So where next?
Don’t assume your next step
has to be to join another
writing group – that certainly
isn’t the case. Think about
what it is that you want to
develop in your writing and
go from there.
There’s a wealth of books
and online resources
about the technical aspects
of every sort of writing. You
may find that giving yourself
some time to read and think
about a few of those will be
really helpful to give you a
boost in knowledge and the
opportunity to try some new
ways of writing.
Reading widely in fiction
and non-fiction is also really
useful. Start analysing the
structure of different kinds of
writing, recognising themes,
tropes and plots, thinking
about what seems to work and
what doesn’t… Learning from
those who have gone before
has a great benefit for writers.
And do read from outside
your own comfort zone and
preferred genres.
Submitting work to
competitions and publications
can be scary when you start
out because you’re now putting
your work up against writers
from across the country and
even the world.
Submitting your work is a
hugely beneficial challenge
to embrace, though. There’s
the discipline of meeting the
brief and the deadline, and the
anticipation of how far you
may get.
There will also, hopefully,
be some feedback. Even if
it’s a ‘not for us’, at least you
know that your work is being
seen by fresh eyes. And look
out for other opportunities
to get feedback on work from
experienced writers, editors,
agents and suchlike.
But do be prepared to hear
the truth. The feedback might
feel harsh, but use it to grow
your knowledge and push
your work further.
Accountability
If you decide not to join
another group, you could look
for an accountability partner.
This is someone with whom
you agree goals you want to
meet and then they support
you to keep on track.
If it’s another writer, you
could support them in their
goals, too. Certainly, someone
who understands what you’re
doing, even if they write in
SKILL LEARNING
You can still socialise with
the friends you have made
different genres to you, can be
incredibly good for bouncing
ideas off.
Finding a new group
Look around, both in real life
and on the internet. Real-life
groups will have that buzz
of physical connection (when
you are actually able to meet
in real life), but online groups
will give you a wider reach of
writers to engage with. Online
groups are also perhaps easier
to visit once and then move on
from if they don’t feel right.
If you do decide to join
a new group it’s worth
remembering that you should
ask for the feedback you
want or need before you start
reading your work. That way
people listen more actively and
will also, hopefully, feel able to
give their honest opinions in
response to your offering.
In conclusion
I hope that I’ve given you some
food for thought about next
steps if you think you might
have outgrown your current
writers’ group.
Please don’t stay in a group
that’s no longer serving
you simply because of the
friendships you’ve formed
or the social opportunities it
offers; you can maintain both
of those outside of the group.
Good luck in continuing
your writing journey in
the way that’s right for you
to develop your skills and
achieve your dreams.
Writers’FORUM #228 31
02/12/2020 11:28:48
 INSPIRATION
I
’m writing this on a gloomy November
afternoon, just before England goes into
its second lockdown. All across the world
we’ve had to learn to adjust and adapt to
this strange time. And I sincerely hope that
your writing (and your reading) has helped you
in this. When we’re faced with things beyond
our control, it’s a huge benefit to be able to be
Paula Williams has been Zooming along with songs as well as stories
able to create a world that we can control –
give or take the odd recalcitrant character.
Apart from my writing, one of the things
that helped me through the first lockdown
and has continued to do so since is the online
meeting app Zoom. Our weekly virtual pub
quiz meetings became the highlight of the
week and continued until we were able to
meet up with our friends for real. And whilst
we’d all prefer to do that, we’re looking
forward to the return of the quizzes.
Another thing I did during the initial
lockdown, again thanks to Zoom, was join a
choir. I used to love singing but I’d had a few
years break from it, during which time I lost
my voice – and my confidence. But when I
learnt that on Zoom nobody could hear me
as long as that little red muted sign was in the
corner of my screen, I realised I could screech
and caterwaul to my heart’s content without
FICTION SQUARE
Roll a dice to find all the ingredients for your next story
– or use each of the squares as a daily prompt this month
Ist & 2nd roll 3rd & 4th roll
Characters Traits
1 7
Baby Lonely
2 8
Mother Serious
3 9
Student Proud
4 10
Artist Desperate
5 11
Singer Dreamer
6 12
Lawyer Imaginative
32 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN32ideastore.indd 32
THE WRITERS’
as not, in Latin anyway. (One alleluia can last
ten pages!) But with our virtual Zoom choir,
we have no musical scores to work from and
have to learn the songs by singing them over
and over again, during which time you get to
know the words pretty well. And, once again,
my writer’s brain starts freewheeling as I
work out the stories behind the words.
embarrassment. I don’t think my voice has As an example, one of the songs we’ve been
improved any, but what does that matter working on this session is ‘Stay Another Day’.
when nobody can hear you? I’m not very well up on pop music so have just
Another thing I love about Zoom is the Googled it and see it was originally recorded
opportunity it gives me to peep into other by British boy band East 17 in 1994. This
people’s lives. What writer doesn’t enjoy surprised me because I thought it was about
the chance to be nosy and to wander along a girl asking her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend
the ‘what if’ pathway? What if you saw not to leave her rather than the other way
something you recognised in the background around. But there are some lovely words in
of someone’s screen? What if it was a picture the song and they set me thinking.
that she swore she didn’t have? What if What if it’s not about a man leaving a
someone came into the room during the woman – or even a woman leaving a man?
Zoom session who wasn’t supposed to be What if it’s a parent and it’s the day before
there? What if you saw something that you their child – let’s say a son – leaves home for
knew was stolen? the first time? Maybe he’s off to university.
My Zoom choir gives me yet another What if Beth is a single mother who’s
creative boost. In the choral society I struggled to bring up the boy alone and is now
belonged to before, the focus, naturally facing the prospect of an empty nest… and an
enough, was always on the music. The words empty life. She creeps into his room at night
were of secondary importance and, as often and watches him sleeping. She knows she has
to let him go and cannot – will not – ask him
to stay.
What if she’s a widow? Maybe her young
husband died when their son was a baby, so
the date of his father’s death doesn’t mean
anything to him? But it’s tomorrow. It’s a day
she always finds difficult and now, it’s suddenly
become doubly so.
What if Beth and her son have been rowing
5th roll 6th roll 7th roll
quite a lot recently? He’s a teenager and
Theme Setting Object
everything she does or says is wrong.
13 19 25 Or, of course, it could be from the
Zoom viewpoint of an older person, say a man this
Abduction Fish tank
meeting time. Let’s call him Ted, whose daughter has
come to stay…
15 20 26
Writers’ Widower Ted is lonely and not coping too
Reunion Town hall well but won’t admit it. He desperately wants
Forum
his daughter to stay another day but is too
15 21 27 proud to ask her. And she thinks he’s fed up
with her and can’t wait to see the back of her.
Breaking up Market place A candle
Shall I give Beth or Ted their happy ending?
Probably. Because it’s my world and I can
16 22 28
control what happens. And that’s the great
Family loyalty Lockdown A diamond thing about being a writer, isn’t it?
So keep safe, keep reading – and keep
17 23 29 writing. It’s the best therapy. And do let me
An empty know if, like me, you’ve found inspiration
Remorse Bar of soap
room for your writing in the most unlikely places.
Write to ideastore@writers-forum.com
18 24 30
Miracle A cellar Keyboard • Paula’s Much Winchmoor novels Murder Served
Cold and Rough and Deadly are available on
Amazon. See paulawilliamswriter.wordpress.com
02/12/2020 11:29:31
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Readers can contact the author at
tthompa@verizon.net

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WF228-33.indd 33 02/12/2020 11:43:36

 Writers FORUM D
Mon Tue Wed Thu
10 Dec
Get into the habit of writing every day with these five-minute prompts. It’s all GET STARTED
Try Douglas’s homewo
about QUANTITY not QUALITY – simply a way to get your creativity warmed p13 by coming up with an
up, so try not to edit as you write. But if inspiration strikes, keep going! incident for a romance
one character meets the

14 15 16 17
SPEAK UP FIRST WORDS KEEP FINDING CLUES
To mark the 40th anniversary of
Have a go at Barbara’s Start your own story using
the death of fast food boss Colonel
Exercise on dialogue this famous opening: ‘Twas Sanders, come up with a list of silly
on page 25. the night before Christmas…’ phrases that KFC could stand for.

21 MIND MAP
22 23 24 CHRISTMAS EV
ADVENT LIST
Write the word US air defence NORAD
Write a list of the 24 little
VACCINE in the middle tracking Santa 65 years ago
gifts you would place in an ideal Sears store put the wrong
of a page, then all the ideas/
advent calendar for you or a in an ad for its own ‘phon
words it sparks around it… service and children began
friend. Not just chocolate!
until you fill the paper. Start a story based on t

28 29 30 CRIME BUSTER
31
USER GENERATED WAY HEY SUMMING UP
Think about the most unlikely
CONTENT Choose one of Sue’s Write a list of all yo
private detective and write the
Come up with your own prompt four way-related writing successes th
opening paragraphs of a novel
and email it to kickstarters@ Poetry Workouts and/or everything you p
about their first case.
writers-forum.com on page 51. write next month, ho
From reader Christine Kelly

4 5 6 7 POETRY COM
WORRY HURRY
MY TRUE LOVE SENT… EPIPHANY Six days to go until
Pour out a current writing
On Twelfth Night, write updated Write about a time when you Writers’ Forum #228 p
problem into a letter and
lyrics to The Twelve Days of had a moment of revelation comp deadline. Spend
email it to Dear Della or the
Christmas. or found out a secret. minutes jotting down id
Mentor – or burn it.
the theme of Hel

11 12 13 14
DREAM CATCHER RANDOM WORD
LETTER BOX
Ask everyone in your household or GENERATOR
workplace to give you a one-word Read your new Writers’
Write about…
description of their dream last night #229 and have a go at w
and compile a prompt list. For now something for the lette
start with your last dream… ILLUSION SAUSAGE
From reader Lawrence Hill

WF228JAN34kickstarters.indd 34 02/12/2020 10:52:44

M Daily Kickstarters
Thu Fri Sat Sun
ec 11 12 13
GET STARTED ANAGRAM/RAG A MAN FAIRYTALE TWIST
ouglas’s homework on Make as many words and phrases Goldilocks has to form a
oming up with an inciting as you can from the letters in Christmas bubble with
t for a romance where SHAPE-SHIFTING the Three Bears…
acter meets the other.… CREEP

18 FIRST PERSON
Write a scene from the
viewpoint of a busy bookshop
owner dealing with an author
who wants his rather poor
book to be put in the window.
19 VOCAB BOOST
20 FLASH COMP
Write a list of festive words Eight days to go until
where each begins with the the Writers’ Forum #228
second letter of the preceding flash comp deadline.
word. Your starter word Spend five minutes having a go
is BAUBLE… if you haven’t already.

HRISTMAS EVE
25 26 27
defence NORAD began LICK A LIMERICK BARMY BRAINWAVES DO A DELIA
Santa 65 years ago after a Come up with a list of Write a detailed recipe for the
ore put the wrong number A department store Santa unlikely uses for the perfect sandwich made with
for its own ‘phone Santa’
and children began calling. from Bow… tape from old cassettes. Christmas leftovers…
a story based on this…

1 Jan 2 3 FICTION FIX

SUMMING UP Twelve days to go until the
VIVE LA RESOLUTION
rite a list of all your rolling deadline for the
Think of a non-writing
g successes this year Writers’ Forum fiction comp.
New Year resolution and in
everything you plan to Spend five minutes writing about
bullet point steps show how
next month, honest. the setting you want
you are going to achieve it.
to use and why…

OETRY COMP
8 9 10
KICKING YOURSELF?
days to go until the SQUARE UP
Write a silly story
rs’ Forum #228 poetry Roll a dice for Paula’s Fiction
incorporating the word list
p deadline. Spend five Square on page 32 and plot
you created on either
s jotting down ideas on the key scenes of a story.
11, 19 or 21 December…
e theme of Help.

DON
’T !
R
E
U T E TI M
FO

LETTER BOX
RGET

our new Writers’ Forum

nd have a go at writing
ng for the letters page. O
IN
T

SE M
T A 5-

WF228JAN34kickstarters.indd 35 02/12/2020 10:53:38

 THE BUSINESS
BECOMING A WRITER
After a bruising year, freelance Kath Kilburn offers us a PEP TALK
H
ow are you feeling
about your freelance
writing business?
Still enthusiastic?
Or finding it hard to keep the
dream alive when there’s a
pandemic on, your children
have to stay home every other
week and magazine terms are
constantly worsening?
This month I’m unashamedly
turning this column into a pep
talk. It’s my Christmas present
to you after a difficult time:
permission – encouragement,
even – to feel proud of yourself
for what you’ve achieved.
Soothing words to the effect of
‘You’re fabulous; keep going.’
To mash up Kate Bush and Ian
Dury: Don’t give up – there are
still reasons to be cheerful.
I’m usually more of a get-
a-grip, bossy boots type, but
I once worked for someone
who greeted every simple
suggestion with effusive
compliments. Her words of
praise were like slipping into
a warm bath, or the first sip of
mulled wine. That’s what I’m
aiming for. By the next meeting
she’d generally forgotten
your great idea, but just
briefly you’d felt wonderful. I
think we all need help to feel
wonderful at the moment.
So, first of all, be proud
of yourself for hanging in
there. You might crave more
success, fame and fortune. It’s
lovely to see your first novel
land on your doormat, but
how much better, you think, if
that were accompanied by an
interview in the Guardian or
bestseller status on Amazon?
Remember, John Le Mesurier
regarded himself as ‘a jobbing
actor’ – there’s no shame in
being a jobbing anything. It
means you’re working and
earning some sort of living at
what you enjoy. And also that
what you’re creating is giving
pleasure to somebody else;
36 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN36becomingwriter.indd 36
that’s no small thing.
Not everyone can be Zadie
Smith or Joanne Harris. But
there’s loads of room within
the hierarchy. Do jingle writers
get upset at their lack of
recognition? Ghost writers?
Greetings card poets? No,
because they’re earning money
in the sphere they chose.
They’re a success.
One thing that’s always
worthwhile is to celebrate
small triumphs. In fact, write
them down! When you’re
having a bad day, bring out
this notebook and immerse
yourself in memories: the
complimentary email sent by
a reader; the responses after
a dreaded but ultimately
successful school author talk;
your first published article or
payment from ALCS; that
time a colleague asked you to
sketch out a leaving speech
because ‘you’re so good with
words’. Each a lovely milestone
and each a success worthy of
note and a glass of red.
Look at how far you’ve
come, as well as how far
you want to go. Also, don’t
compare yourself to others.
Everyone develops at different
rates and while coping with
different situations.
Be proud of your hard
work. Writers often say they
can’t stop themselves from
writing no matter what, but
when you’re writing on your
daily commute or getting up
at 5am to edit your fledgling
novel, that’s seriously
impressive. And if you’re
doing it while being a carer
or struggling to provide three
meals a day on a much reduced
income, then you’re a wonder.
(All those things are, by the
way, worthy of writing about.
Do you write a blog? Start one
maybe, with your own ideas
for coping?)
If it helps, choose to see
yourself differently. Maybe
re-designate yourself as an
under-appreciated, out-of-
era creative, like Vincent Van
Gogh, although try to retain a
modicum of realism…
Recently I wrote a story
featuring author intrusions.
I knew it was unfashionable
and probably wouldn’t be
accepted anywhere, but I
made a conscious decision to
go against the grain because
I thought that was what that
particular story needed.
You have to decide whether
you want to stick to what you
know will sell or do what you
want to do – lucky you, if those
two things collide!
Remind yourself that not
being ‘on-trend’ or immediately
successful doesn’t mean your
writing’s bad. Actually, if you
were after instant fame and
fortune, you might be better
applying to be a reviewer on
Gogglebox.
Be kind to yourself
I asked writing friends for
comforting or inspirational
ideas for writing in these
strange times. A couple of
people mentioned the benefit
of aiming small, with a
suggested daily wordcount
of just 200 words.
US writer Su Kopil told me:
‘That’s such a small ask that
even when you don’t feel like
writing, it’s actually quite
doable, so it’s a form of “be
kind to yourself”. And, when
you do go over 200 words,
you feel great.’
Others found help in online
challenges, centred again on
very small wordcounts, which
aren’t too daunting and can
be exceeded if circumstances
permit. Setting up joint
challenges with a group of
others was felt to be helpful
too. Once you go public, you
have to do it.
Different kinds of prompts
were mentioned – photos,
everyday or more unusual
objects, poetry, etc – and
focusing on the process
rather than the outcome.
As for me, I spent my
extra time this year sending
a story to a magazine whose
requirements are outside my
comfort zone, but which pays
a good rate. Broadening your
horizons is good.
However you’ve responded
to the circumstances we’ve
all found ourselves caught
up in, try and find room
for writing. Harness these
unfamiliar emotions for future
projects. And in the meantime,
look at it this way – 2021 can
only be an improvement!
02/12/2020 10:54:46
 Got a question – or advice for one of these readers? Email help@writers-forum.com
Need advice on writing and publishing? Novelist
and short story writer Della Galton can help
Should I give my book a more original title?
Q I thought I’d found the perfect title
for my novel but have discovered
three other published books – one fiction,
two non-fiction – whose authors had the
same idea. Do I stick with the title, as I’m
struggling to find one as good, or do I
need to find another?
Amanda Barton, High Peak
A The good news is that there is no
copyright on titles. So no, you don’t
need to find another. However, having the
same title as another novel, particularly
if it’s out at the same time as yours, can
be a nuisance for readers. They might buy
yours thinking they are buying the other
author’s novel and vice versa. For this
reason, I’d avoid the title if it was fairly
recent, ie out in the last 12 months.
If not, I wouldn’t worry too much. You
can always give yours a subtitle, or failing
that, a strong strapline. This can help
readers differentiate and ensure they buy
the right book.
Q When entering comps or submitting
stories, it is often stated that material
must not have been previously published.
I have a story that was self-published in
a writing group anthology with limited
(and local) sales. It is common practice for
writers to use previous stories to write a
new one. How much does a story need to
differ from the original to be considered
‘not previously published’?
Gill Wilson, Norwich
A Copyright is in the order of the words,
so you’d need to change a substantial
amount for a story to be considered new
work. I asked the Society of Authors if
they could quantify this. They said: ‘We’re
afraid such copyright questions are far too
fact-specific to give a generic reply. But if
in doubt, it’s often worth asking the prize
organisers for clarification.’
From my own experience, I’d say that
you would have to change so much of the
WF228JAN37agony.indd 37
story that it would be quicker to write
a new one. However, as the society says,
do check the rules of the comp you are
planning to enter. Some allow entries that
have been in small, local anthologies.
You should do the same when you
submit stories to publications. It’s always
better to ask than to get it wrong.
Q What is the best way to establish
viewpoint swiftly from the
beginning of a story? I really struggle
with viewpoint.
Sara Haigh, via email
A Viewpoint (VP) in fiction simply
means the character whose head we
are in. In my early days as a writer, it was
described to me as follows.
Imagine there is a camera glued to
the VP character’s shoulder that records
everything they see, hear, smell, taste
and touch. It also records what they
think. It cannot leave them, so the reader
can only experience what that character
experiences. This is viewpoint.
I hope the following examples might
help to clarify what is and isn’t viewpoint.
■ Dorothy sat in her chair. (The reader has
not yet been told a viewpoint. Anyone
could be witnessing this.)
■ Dorothy sat in the most uncomfortable
chair she’d ever encountered. (Now we are in
Dorothy’s viewpoint because only Dorothy
knows this fact.)
As readers, we tend to assume that the
first person who is mentioned in a story
and who speaks or makes an action is the
VP character. Here’s a simple example:
Dorothy sprung to her feet and said, ‘Not
this again.’
Edith glared at her.
We’d tend to assume Dorothy is the
VP character – even though she may
ADVICE PAGE
not be, of course. The VP character may
equally well be Edith.
To make it crystal clear that we are in
Dorothy’s VP, it would be better to write:
Dorothy felt furious as she sprung to her feet
and said: ‘Not this again.’
She could feel the weight of Edith’s
disapproval and see her pursed thin lips.
The camera comparison helped me a
lot when I first started writing. I hope it
helps you too.
Q Can you tell me if a character’s
thoughts should be in italics? And
possibly in quotation marks? I have seen
it done with and without in books.
Alison Bryant, Shaftesbury
A This is very much a matter of house
style. Personally I would not italicise
thoughts for two reasons: it should be
clear a character is thinking from the
context; and I think it looks messy on the
page to have lots of italics – but maybe my
characters just do a lot of thinking!
Example: Sarah greeted her arch-rival with
a smile. ‘I love that dress,’ she gushed. Actually,
it was hideous. ‘It really suits you.’ If you liked
the elephant in a tutu look, that was.
Hopefully it’s clear that the parts that
aren’t dialogue are Sarah’s thoughts
without having to spell it out.
If you do use quotation marks, make
sure you don’t use the same kind you use
for dialogue. Use double for dialogue and
single for thoughts, or vice versa.
• Della’s books on
writing, The Short
Story Writer’s
Toolshed and The
Novel Writer’s
Toolshed, are available
from Amazon
Writers’FORUM #228 37
02/12/2020 10:55:37
 STORY COMP

Writers FORUM
fictioncompetition
Congratulations to this month’s winners, Paul RT Barnett, Josie O’Reilly, and Kez Wilkins.
Do you have a short story that could impress our head judge Lorraine Mace?
Any subject, any style is welcome. Turn to the rules and entry form on page 40.

FIRST PRIZE £300

Another Year
Paul RT Barnett

R
ay is stuck in the moment of his failed marriage from two
years ago. It’s painful for him to think of another man
around the girls, especially during the holiday season.
‘You’ll be OK?’ Maggie says down the phone to him after
he wishes the girls a happy Christmas for tomorrow. Ray knows
Maggie worries about him, not just because they had once been
married but because that’s the way she is. She’s not cruel.
‘I will,’ says Ray, looking at what he has planned for the evening,
laid out on the table. He’s reluctant to let her go, reluctant to let
her return to the cosy Christmas he can visualise at the other end
of the line. ‘Do you remember…’
‘Let’s not, Ray, hey, love. It serves no purpose.’
Ray pauses. ‘No, you’re right, of course. Have a good one then.’
‘And you, Ray.’
The line goes dead. Ray hesitates before putting the receiver back
down. There was a time when they would have talked the whole
night through on the phone. Once Maggie had told him his voice
was pure sex.
‘Go on with you,’ he’d said.
‘Honestly, I won’t be responsible for what I do if you keep talking
to me like that,’ she’d said breathlessly.
It was a very different call from a very different time. What Ray
misses now, more than anything, more than the sex, is Maggie’s
companionship; the way they bounced off one another.
Ray looks around his studio flat and the woebegone nod to the
season, a poorly decorated tree in one shameful corner with gifts
from the girls nestled underneath. He fights an impulse to finally
give in to the weight of his unhappiness, deciding instead to take
himself out for a walk of the city.
Ray checks his look in the mirror next to the front door; puffy
thermal jacket, boots and a woolly hat pulled low on the ears. He
wonders if maybe he’s gone a little over the top, like he’s driving
huskies in Alaska rather than ambling around Bristol city centre.
‘Ah, feck it,’ he says to no one.
Stepping out, Ray looks up at the velvety, clear and cold night
sky, wondering if there’s snow up there in the darkness, waiting to
break, a white Christmas maybe. It’s cold enough, Ray thinks.
He checks to see how treacherous it is underfoot then sets off,
following the river into the city centre, his usual route, one he’s
taken many, many times since the separation when everyone told
him he should keep himself busy.
‘Keep yourself busy,’ they’d said, like it was a magic formula for
everything. ‘Don’t give yourself time to think, it’ll do no good.’
Ray discovered whatever he did, the endless loop of negative
thoughts was never far away, just waiting around the corner to
hijack him when he was off his guard.
Young ones are queuing up outside the pubs in the dockland area
with only a fragment of cloth between them and a Siberian blast.
Ray walks past thinking they’ll feel that in their joints in years to
come. He turns the collar up on his puffy jacket. His breath hangs
in the air.
The music inside one pub is absolutely thumping. Beefy secu-
rity is holding everyone up. Complaints about the cold are shouted
from the back of the line.
The young women shivering, wearing next to nothing pay Ray
no mind as he passes. Not that they ever did. Well, not that much
anyway. Never enough to let it go to his head.
‘Spare any change?’ asks a bearded guy on a cardboard island
wrapped in a grimy blanket.
Ray looks down, pats his jean pockets, fumbles, finds a pound
coin and hands it over.
‘Not much,’ he says, but the man thanks him anyway.
Ray nods, says merry Christmas, then feels foolish. Can’t be

38 Writers’FORUM #228

WF228JAN38storycomp.indd 38 02/12/2020 10:57:52


anything that merry about sitting your arse on a cold pavement
asking for money, he thinks.
Walking away he wonders about the honesty of people who do
that, asking for change like that. He reasons that the act itself is a
desperate one that might need compensating anyway. Besides, it’s
Christmas, merry or otherwise.
The city centre looks nice, all decked out; the trees, the coloured
lights strewn across the roads. It was only last Christmas that Ray
made a complete show of himself, turning up on Maggie’s door-
step, what had once been his doorstep also. He’d been shit-faced
and self-pitying. The memory bothers him now. Maggie dragged
him into the kitchen, telling Steve she could handle it. The girls
were crying on the upstairs landing. Ray had already ruined the
tree by staggering into it; shameful really.
‘You need to move on,’ Maggie had said to Ray when she’d finally
sat him down and poured him coffee after coffee.
Ray nodding, wondered what exactly was he supposed to move
on to, at forty-four? His life was surely in that house with the girls,
with Maggie. Only the ghost of him existed on the outside.
She’d said he needed to see someone, talk it out. A little more
sober, Ray said he would do just that, but he never did. There’d
been melancholy in Ray’s family, his mother on pills all the time
he was growing up. He thought being miserable and royally fed up
was just part of his DNA.
Ray wanders up Park Street looking in the shop windows and
then through Clifton village, past the last-minute Christmas shop-
pers, and gangs out on the lash already making enough noise. He
wonders if he’d ever been that way and concludes he hadn’t. The
volume in pints always held him back. Two, three at a push had
been his maximum. The breakup had led to the discovery of spirits;
another matter altogether. Nights of getting falling-down drunk
in front of the TV, just Ray and the bottle, had become the new
normal, as they say; deadly stuff, the spirits.
Finally at the Suspension Bridge, all aglow with white lights, Ray
takes a misty breath. He sits at his usual bench. He’d sat there once
with Maggie, back in the early days, after they’d first met at the
festival in the park, on the other side. Portishead had been head-
lining that day, so he’d been in desperate need of a laugh.
Maggie gave him that and much more. She’d held him captive
then, so much so that the rest of the world somehow diminished
by comparison. They’d talked about everything and nothing and
laughed; God, how they’d laughed. Ray was certain the feelings
he’d had then would last him a lifetime, only they hadn’t.
Against the cold, Ray digs his hands deeper into his pockets. He
decides to press on a bit further, once over the bridge, maybe, and
back again.
Halfway across, he notices a woman, a young woman, agitated,
leaning over the railings then leaning back, then leaning forwards
again. Ray looks around but no one’s paying any attention. He
presses a little closer, attempting to look as if he’s taking in the
views, but from his sideward glances he can tell there’s something
not quite right about her. He can hear her mumbling to herself: ‘Oh,
God, oh good God, no.’
Ray absently reads a plaque on one of the bridge’s pillars: If you’re
feeling suicidal call this number… Oh, Jesus no, not that, he thinks.
The woman’s agitation is growing. Reluctantly Ray takes a step
closer and the woman puts her hand out to stop him.
‘OK, OK,’ Ray says, a little panicky.
‘I’m going to…’
‘No, don’t,’ Ray blurts loudly.
‘…boke,’ the woman says, putting her hand up as if to silence
further conversation. And with that she lurches forward and
vomits in a way worthy of an exorcist movie. It splatters to the floor
with colossal force.
WF228JAN38storycomp.indd 39
STORY COMP
Ray pulls a face. ‘Jesus.’ He notices her nose ring glistening in the
bridge’s lights as she spits the aftermath.
‘Did I get your shoes?’ the woman says, still bent over.
‘No, you’re grand.’
‘Oh, Jesus, where’re you from?’
‘Cork. You?’
‘Roscommon. What’re the chances?’
‘A young one four sheets to the wind on Christmas Eve? Pretty
good, I’d say.’
The woman stops spitting, straightens up, smiles. ‘I meant us
both being from Ireland – and I’m not drunk.’
‘Right.’
‘I’m not.’
The woman is wearing black jeans, ripped at the knees and an
old beaten motorcycle jacket over an oversized chunky jumper. Her
hair is cut stylishly short, elfin-like with one side shaven around
her ear. She has the sort of piercing that young ones are having
nowadays, which Ray doesn’t fully understand, the sort of piercing
that leaves a gaping hole in your earlobe. Why would you ever want
that? What’ll it be like when you’re sixty?
Ray shrugs like it’s none of his business if she is drunk or not.
‘You have any hurling left inside you?’
The woman sidesteps the sick, shakes her head and takes a tissue
from her jacket to wipe her mouth before resting her arms on the
railings to look down at the city.
‘I’ve IBS,’ she says.
‘Right.’
‘Irritable bowel syndrome. It’s where I carry my nerves.’
Ray wonders where he carries his. He shifts awkwardly, not sure
what to say and thinking he should be on his way but as an after-
thought says, ‘You want me to call someone?’
To his own ears that sounds stupid. She’d surely have her own
phone.
The woman gives him this levelling look that slowly breaks into
a huge smile. ‘Did you think I was going to…’
Ray pulls a face, like she’s being ridiculous, shakes his head.
‘God, no.’
She bursts into a snort-drip of a laugh.
‘Well, I’m glad you’re entertained by it.’
‘Ah, no, I’m sorry,’ the woman says, finally coming down from
the laughter, taking another tissue from her pocket to dab at her
tears but still looking like she’s fit to laugh some more. ‘I should at
least know my hero’s name… It’s not Clarence, is it?’
Again with the snort-drip laughter; louder this time.
Ray watches, shaking his head with mock disdain but he can’t
help smiling. There’s something about hearing the accent again,
something comforting about it even if you’re having the rip taken
out of you for your good intentions.
‘It’s Ray.’
‘Oh God, I’m sorry, Ray. I’m Leyla. I’ll tell you, Ray, you’ve just
made a shite night a little better.’
There’s a little shake of the hands and Ray senses her need for
confession. He’s convinced that, one way or another, we are all
truth-tellers, maybe not in the moment, but sooner or later it bubbles
to the surface anyway. He remembers finally telling Maggie about
the stupid, stupid, thoughtless affair, with someone he hardly
liked never mind loved. She’d listened without comment sat at the
kitchen table, the scene for most of their dramas.
‘You must hate me,’ he’d said at the end of it.
She didn’t but she no longer loved him either. It was over. There
was no going back after that.
Ray takes the bait. ‘Shite night?’
Continued overleaf
Writers’FORUM #228 39
02/12/2020 10:58:03
 STORY COMP

Writers FORUM
Want to see YOUR story published? AnotherYear continued
Three great prizes every issue
1st £300 2nd £150 3rd £100 ‘Ah, you don’t want to be listening to my woes.’
All types of story ARE welcome – crime, comedy, history, Ray shrugs.
romance, horror, SF – BUT THEY MUST BE ENTERTAINING ‘OK, if you’re pressing me. I was proposed to tonight.’
OR RIVETING NOT UNREMITTINGLY BLEAK. Don’t rely ‘Jesus, it’s a wonder you didn’t go through with it and top your-
on subjects like death, abuse etc to add cheap emotion. Stories self. What sort of a person does that to another person and on
must work harder to engage readers. Christmas Eve, too? The conniving bastard.’
‘Bitch; it’s a woman, Jo – Joanne – but the conniving is right on
● Entries MUST be between 1000 and 3000 words.
the money.’
● Documents must be typed in a Word-compatible file using
Ray buys time with a nod to process the information.
double line-spacing and good margin widths. If your entry is
placed you will be notified and asked to email the file along ‘She picked her moment, in front of an audience of fecking people.
with a brief author biography and photo. She does stand-up you see, stand-up comedy. Halfway through her
● On the title page give your name, address, phone number, set she has me up on stage. But then she goes down on one knee
email address, story title and wordcount. and gets deadly serious, talking about how she knew right away,
●Entry fee is £6 or just £3 for subscribers. Pay online as six months ago, I was the one. I’ll tell you, I’m like a rabbit in head-
shown or fill in your card or cheque details below. Cheques lights. I get her to her feet and we start talking in forced whispers,
should be made payable to ‘Select Publisher Services’. I’m telling her that we hadn’t discussed any of this, and she had no
By entering, authors agree for the story to appear in Writers’ Forum if it right to just spring it on me like that. Meanwhile the audience starts
wins a prize. Entries must be in English. There is a rolling deadline – entries laughing, nervously, not sure if it’s part of the act or not.’
arriving too late for one contest go into the next. Ray laughs.
How to enter ‘It’s not funny. OK, I’ll grant you it is a wee bit funny now I think
Enter online at www.writers-forum.com/storycomp.html about it. Anyway, I bolted up here to get my head straight and that’s
(the greener option) and email your entry as directed. when you showed up. My superhero.’ Leyla laughs again. ‘What
Alternatively, send this coupon (photocopies accepted) with would you have done, Clarence, if I’d straddled the barrier?’
your payment and manuscript to Writers’ Forum Story Contest, ‘Well, now that I know you a little, I’d have let you drop like a
PO Box 6337, Bournemouth BH1 9EH. stone.’
Name  Leyla laughs.
‘What’re you going to do?’
Address Leyla shakes her head, going serious. ‘Don’t know. We live
together, or at least we did. She’ll probably not come home tonight,
Postcode
now that I’ve made a complete show of her. And that’s Christmas
Email for you; God bless us everyone.’
‘It’s overrated anyway.’
Phone ‘Isn’t it just? Do you want to walk with me a bit, just in case I
decide to cash my chips in again?’
Story title Ray smiles and gives a little nod.
Length words Nothing is said for a couple of steps. Then Leyla says: ‘So how
long are you divorced?’
 I declare the story has not previously been published or Ray pulls a face, like he doesn’t understand the question, hating
broadcast and that it is my own work that she has him pegged right from a standing start.
‘Couple of kids, I’m guessing.’
ENTRY FEE: £6 (non-subscriber) £3 (subscriber) Ray shakes his head like none of this applies to him and that she
Subscribe below and take advantage of our special entry fees has another man in mind altogether, but then he gives way. ‘Two
– you can also subscribe online at www.writers-forum.com years, and I’ve two daughters.’
OPTIONAL: Please enrol me for an annual subscription ‘Thought so. You’ve that haunted look.’
 £38 UK £49 Europe £56 Rest of world Ray doesn’t laugh but he thinks it’s funny anyway. Maybe funny
because of its accuracy. A haunted look. Jesus.
I would like a story critique from the judges and include They wander back through Clifton village, chatting. Ray stops
a large stamped addressed envelope plus the fee of £5 outside a pub. ‘Fancy a quick one?’
Leyla waggles a finger between them. ‘Y’know nothing’s hap-
TOTAL amount payable £ pening here, don’t you? Firstly, you’re batting for the wrong team
and secondly, you could be me da.’
 I enclose a cheque My credit-card details are below
‘I doubt that. You’d have less cheek and a little more respect,’ Ray
says, pulling on the pub’s door, letting heat and noise escape.
Visa/Mastercard/Maestro (delete) Total £
Leyla insists on getting the first round in.
Card no It’s noisy and they have to lean in to talk. Ray likes that for the first
time in a very long while he is actually enjoying a drink without
Expiry date Valid from (if shown) the aim being to get drunk, without wanting to blot out the world.
They swap stories and the sort of insights you could only have
Issue no (if shown) Security no (last 3 digits)
as two people away from their country of birth; what they miss
Signature about being back home, especially now, at Christmas. Serious stuff
gets aired but laughter punctuates everything; a default setting to
prevent straying too far into melancholy.
 I am happy for my story to be considered for a free fiction
workshop and’ to be featured in Writers’ Forum (optional)
40 Writers FORUM #228

WF228JAN38storycomp.indd 40 02/12/2020 10:58:15


Ray realises, suddenly, he’s having a nice time. For too long he
wasn’t sure that was still possible. He gets the second round in,
which he suspects will be their last. Leyla insists they swap numbers
as she doesn’t know when she might be in need of a guardian angel
again. She tells him there might be a vegan Christmas dinner up
for grabs tomorrow if he wants it.
Ray smiles, not sure what to make of the offer, says thanks, then
asks if it comes with gravy?
Outside the pub Leyla steps in for an unexpected hug goodbye
and they hold one another for an exaggerated moment.
‘Text me,’ Leyla says as she’s walking away, ‘I’d say Snapchat but
I’m sure that’ll only bollox you.’
‘Night.’
‘Night, Clarence.’
Ray can’t help smiling as he’s walking home. He thinks of the
evening, some of the things that were said, the misunderstanding at
the start, the familiar banter. Occasionally a laugh pops out of him
from no place, so anyone passing would think he was smashed, but
he isn’t, he isn’t at all. He wonders how much of life is just one big
SECOND PRIZE £150
Somewhere Wild Beyond
Josie O’Reilly
J
ack Bryant woke at dawn, stamped his feet into his boots and
stepped outside the trailer. He sat down on an oil drum and
balanced a cup of coffee on his thigh, working his fingers to
tenderly roll a smoke.
Across the creek, the mountains were aubergine bruises against
the sky. Somewhere in the woods behind him was the soft percus-
sion of snow falling from the high tops of evergreens.
The trailer moved in the first sharp breeze of morning. The stiff
net curtains shifted as the wind slipped inside the window frames.
It was a feeble shelter. The flimsy roof leaked in heavy rain and the
canvas he had roped across it rattled and flapped, but Jack enjoyed
the solitude of its humble scratched-out plot, its one brave room.
Down below in the timber bunkhouse, the other ranch hands
would now be stirring; the air around them suffused with the foul
thickness of other men’s bodies. Jack had spent two nights in that
bunkhouse, his thin sleep punctuated by smacking mouths, feet
jerking against knotted blankets, breath pulled hard between
the foliage of nostrils. Thick, carpeted voices calling out from the
wasteland of dreams.
Jack said he would watch for coyotes in the evenings in exchange
for lodgings in the disused trailer and it had been agreed. So, on
the northwest shoulder of Bitterroot ranch, where the land sloped
down in malachite swathes to the mouth of Blackrock Creek, and
where above the treeline eagles hung suspended in the endless,
watchful skies, Jack had made his solitary home.
On the fringes of the patch of turf around the trailer a grouse
emerged from the high grass and began to peck about, its small,
tight eyes like polished stones. Jack watched it for a while, its
stout body jerking under the pistoning of its neck, brittle legs
outstretched and tentative, before he brought his boot heel sharp
against the vault of the drum beneath him. He smiled as the star-
tled bird burst into the air and out of sight.
Jack stood and tossed the dregs from his coffee cup on to the
ground.
From the coarse trail to the east that flowed to the creek below he
WF228JAN38storycomp.indd 41
STORY COMP
misunderstanding anyway. After all, we only ever see a fragment
of one another so we don’t truly know what’s going on deep down.
Crossing back over the river at Hotwells, Ray brings to mind
his studio flat, the large bottle of scotch and the box of sedatives
waiting for him on the table. Next to them there’s the long rambling
note he wrote for Maggie the other night, just in case things went
too far, as they always threated to do. He must have said sorry in it
a hundred times over. Ray sees himself flushing the scotch and the
meds down the toilet. The note he’ll rip into a million tiny pieces.
He knows Maggie will ask him about Christmas when they next
speak. He’ll tell her it was surprising, better than expected.
‘Another year,’ he’ll say.
About the author Paul keeps plugging away at the short
stories, some of which see the light of day, others remain in the
dark like mushrooms. He is encouraged by any little success and
grateful to competitions like this that provide further incentive.
caught the sound of rocks splintering beneath hooves and bouncing
down the track upon themselves. The noise roughly chopped the
silence of the mountainside.
Through the deep trees a horse appeared, swung back on its
quarters, and neatly picked down the trail towards the creek. On
its back sat a dark-haired girl, her bare feet swinging by the horse’s
ribs.
He watched them. His breath, a ragged plume, flooded the frigid
air.
They reached the shallows of the creek where the ground levelled
out in wide tablets of stone and stepped carefully into the water. All
around them tall limbs of switchgrass and alder quivered.
The horse dropped its nose and drank, the water fast around its
haunches, and the girl sat quietly fingering wisps of the animal’s
mane. Her toes were pink as salmon flesh.
Once it had drunk its fill, she allowed the horse to step about
freely for a while, picking about this way and that with its head
low, moving through the shadows and pausing in the sunshine
where the girl raised her face to the light.
After a little while idling, she gathered her reins and rode her
horse out on to the stony banks and the water fell from its legs and
from her feet like shattered glass.
As they reached the foot of the trail, the grouse broke suddenly
from the undergrowth and lumbered up into the sky, bleating and
Continued overleaf
Writers’FORUM #228 41
02/12/2020 10:58:26
 STORY COMP
Somewhere Wild Beyond continued
calling with much commotion. The horse swung its face up to the
clearing, its nostrils scarlet orbs, and the girl turned and searched
for the bird, but it was gone into the long grass and her eyes found
Jack instead.
He shifted stiffly by the doorway of the trailer and then reached
up to touch his hat. He felt at once deeply aware of all of his bones
and all of his flesh.
She held her horse, fixed her gaze upon him and then lifted her
hand to wave at him gently. Then she turned away and rode up on
the rough track from whence they had come and he watched her
hair, long upon her back, move like windblown barley.
In the ranch house kitchen Annie was pouring coffee thick as
creosote into mugs lined up on the countertop and when Jack
entered and took off his hat, she passed one to him. He sat at the
table. In the centre of the table was a large basket full of hot rolls
and Jack took one and began to break it into pieces.
‘It was cold last night, Jack,’ Annie said, placing a butter dish
beside him. ‘Maybe you should come down to the ranch until the
weather blows through.’
O’Shea, a weathered man with big, nicked hands, lifted his eyes
from his plate.
‘Trailer suits me well,’ Jack replied.
Annie turned back to the range and began to spoon eggs into a
porcelain dish.
After a little while she said, ‘I’ll have a bunk made up for you in
case you change your mind.’
‘S’pose you’ll change your mind when you meet Olivia-Grace,
she’d be enough to bring you down from your trailer pretty quick.’
O’Shea smirked, a trail of butter glazing his chin.
Annie glanced quickly at the door and then shook her head.
‘Mind now that Rendell doesn’t hear you speak like that, O’Shea, or
he’ll be at you with the branding iron.’
She put the sweating eggs between them.
‘If you bring a woman like that to Bitterroot, you gotta expect
she’ll find herself the topic of conversation.’
‘Maybe so,’ Annie replied, ‘but no man likes to hear his ranch
hands lusting after his new wife so you’d be wise to watch your
mouth.’
She left the men eating in silence. Jack did not ask O’Shea who
Olivia-Grace was, for he already knew.
Rendell had driven a fresh group of wild colts down from the
western sections of Bitterroot and grouped them in a holding pen
outside the barn. They stood bunched up at the fence, against each
other’s necks.
Jack leant against the pen, rested his boot heel in a gate slat and
squinted into the wind to look them over. Dust rose up beneath
their switching feet and was taken by the stiff northern.
In three days Jack had them saddled and riding off hacka-
mores. He worked at their tails that were matted thick as hawsers
and soothed their coats with brushes to root out the stench of the
untamed landscape.
On the fourth day, Jack took a sorrel colt from the corral and
saddled it in the barn. He talked softly to it as he slipped the bit
inside its grinding mouth and pulled leather straps over his ears.
He ran his hands along its shoulders and the sweep of its belly,
feeling the rich, wild blood course beneath its flesh.
He saw a slender shadow settle behind him, and as he pulled the
woollen cloth straight beneath the saddle he turned and searched
the gloom.
‘Rendell says I can choose which one I want,’ she said, slipping
42 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN38storycomp.indd 42
inside the door and shutting it behind her. She stood beneath great
swathes of cobwebs which stretched like silk in the rafters. ‘So
which would you advise?’
Jack tipped his hat to her and stood still beside the animal. Its
ears swivelled but it did not move its head.
‘It’s too early to tell,’ he replied quietly, ‘but this colt’s got good
locomotion for one so young. He’s steady, too.’
She nodded and let her eyes slip across the animal.
‘When will he be ready?’ she asked. Her voice was clear as
birdsong.
‘I could have him working well for you in just a couple of weeks,
ma’am.’
She smiled a little and shifted.
‘I did not see you at the ranch house for supper last night,’ she
said.
‘I stay up in the trailer on the northwest ridge.’
‘Yes.’
A mote of dust passed in the light between them.
‘I would like to ride out with you. Will you saddle my horse?’
They rode out of the yard and up the tyre-lined track beside
the paddocks. She watched from her horse as Jack’s colt stepped
about, slavering and quivering and slinging its head. They rode up
through the woodland where a ranch hand killed the engine of his
bleating flatbed and watched from behind the windshield as they
passed. The green colt danced and rolled, his hooves churning the
leathered mud and sending clods of earth into the sky. Beneath the
fabric of the saddle cloth his coat was whipped into peaks of sweat
and his mane came pouring out along his neck like flames. All the
while Jack sat still, his heels barely touching the wheezing vault of
the horse’s ribs, talking only to the horse.
By the time they reached the high meadows the colt had tired
a little and the horses fell into step. The breaking amber leaves
beneath their hooves filled the air with the alpine scent of fall.
Beneath them to the east the creek cut the meadowland in two
and curled away between a fold in the range. The water was fast
against the sharp, slung-out rocks. Downstream, patchy snowmelt
succumbed to the current and, where it rushed, trout danced at the
surface like aluminium tongues.
They rode in silence. Jack listened to the saddle creaking beneath
Olivia-Grace’s body. He did not look at her gloved hand nor where
it rested on her thigh.
That night Jack built a brushfire in the clearing by the trailer. He
sat beside it on a ragged log and warmed the soles of his boots by
the flames.
He did not eat.
Somewhere wild beyond, a lonesome coyote yipped, and in the
trees by the creek the final chitterings of birds sequestered to the
night-time.
Jack stared long into the flames as they pitched themselves into
the seamless night.
Eventually he lay beneath thick-knitted blankets on the cot in the
trailer. It heaved beneath the passage of the wind and the tarpaulin
scuppered. In the velvet thickness of the dark he began to battle
with a swarm of feelings so foreign to him that he felt all at once
both alone and overcrowded.
He was pulled from his sleep by something more than the wind
against his door. The sound entered his dreams as running foot-
steps, but as he stirred he knew it was a knocking and above that
noise, a whispered voice through teeth calling his name.
He sat up in the dark, pulled on his jeans and opened the door.
She stood with the moon behind her. Her white horse was a plat-
inum spectre standing still beside a larch.
Her shoulders trembled.
‘Olivia-Grace?’ he whispered.
02/12/2020 10:58:36

‘Jack.’ She was breathless and her words spilled out as freezing
clouds.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m cold.’
He reached down for her hand and she placed it in his and stepped
up inside the trailer.
She sat down upon the edge of the cot as he lit a kerosene lamp.
In its gentle light he could see that her eyelashes were curled like
fragile sabres and her face was patinated copper.
And they lay together in the night. All around them the tall trees
whispered and her white horse stood like a sentry by the larch and
her voice rose up from her soul and became more than a voice.
Each night she came to him from Rendell’s bed. They lay in the
narrow cot in the lamplight with their shallow breath racketing.
The blankets, mangled flotsam, smelt of powdered roses.
They did not speak.
When she left each morning before the lift of dawn, Jack’s trailer
became suddenly too full of him and too empty of her. When he
rode the sorrel colt around the ranch tracks, he thought of the
drawn curtains, the burnt-out lamp and the rumpled cot. Now all
of these things were, and always would be, suffused with both the
presence and the absence of Olivia-Grace.
The colt was ready twelve days later. One morning he watched
her ride it towards the ranch house along the dirt track by the
paddocks. He leant against a wide pillar beam at the entrance of
the barn with a headcollar slung across his shoulder.
White froth shot from the colt’s bitted mouth as it threw its head
against its bridle. Upon the rise of its quarters and slopes of its
shoulders, panels of muscle twitched and steamed. His tail, held
high, was a flag of tumbling madder and its eyes, wide in their
sockets, were burning coals. It was braced against the leather upon
its face and upon its back; braced against the spinning metal discs
against its ribs and the pale hands at its withers. It recoiled from the
presence of the body against it and twitched in remembrance of its
once-wild existence.
‘Dammit, Jack, he’s still not ready. He’d pull my arms from their
sockets before he’d let me have his mouth.’ Her voice was ragged
with anger.
She pulled the horse up beside him and dismounted. Jack reached
up and slipped his fingers through the hot metal loops of the bit.
THIRD PRIZE £100
More Famous than Pickles
Kez Wilkins
W
ith a flick of the rod, the bait was expertly negotiated
under the hanging branches of the willow tree, right
on the nose of the carp. Well, as near as made no
difference, as the carp wouldn’t need glasses to see
it and the smell from our signature bait of bread paste mixed with
ripe banana would be irresistible.
‘Now wait this time,’ I whispered. ‘Don’t strike until the float is
right under.’
The float twitched, then went halfway down and straight back
up again before slowly moving away from us while dipping ever
so slightly. I was about to tell Jamie to be patient again when he
struck, raising the rod prematurely before dejectedly reeling in the
empty line. The carp had outsmarted us again and the bait was gone.
‘You tosser. I told you to wait,’ I hissed, but Jamie had his finger
WF228JAN38storycomp.indd 43
STORY COMP
They were syrupy with sweat.
‘Give him back to me when he’s ready to be ridden,’ she said
breathlessly, handing him the reins and looking the animal over.
‘Maybe we should find you another.’
‘I don’t want another. I want this horse but I want him tamed. Get
the mustang out of him.’
Jack nodded and led the horse into the barn.
He stood for some time just watching the animal move about. If
it knew that Jack was there, it paid no heed. It paced the perimeters
of the barn, with long, purposeful strides, pausing at the shut gate
to look out across the mountains. Then circled again. When Jack
returned some time later, the horse had not ceased, and the tame
horses in their stalls had lifted their heads above the doors to watch
the spectacle of him benignly.
Its eyes had not left the horizon.
Jack slid the bolt back upon the gate and dragged it open. After a
moment, the colt stepped forward from the gloom and tentatively
slipped through, its head low to the dust.
As it passed, Jack lifted the lead rope high into the air and brought
it down against the animal’s quarters and the sound rang out like
a firecracker. The colt shot forward, and burst into motion, tearing
through the yard and then out into the pastures towards the cover
of the treeline by the creek.
O’Shea rushed out from his work soaping leathers by the stalls
and gazed after the fleeing colt.
‘Bryant! The colt!’
Jack swung the rope back across his shoulder and turned away.
‘Some aren’t meant for others,’ he replied, ambling out towards
the pasture.
That night when Olivia-Grace rode up to the trailer, there was no
lamplight in the window. The little room on its scratched-out plot
was a hollow space once more, and Jack’s departure thickened the
air like the memory of a dream.
About the author Josie, from Surrey, squeezes in as much
writing as she can around a busy job and raising two small boys.
She is currently working on what she hopes will one day be a
book for Young Adults.
to his lips. Something had spooked him.
Two men were on the other side of the canal, furtively looking
up and down the towpath to see if anyone else was around. We
Continued overleaf
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02/12/2020 10:58:47
 STORY COMP
More Famous than Pickles continued
were out of their sight, having gone over the railway bridge, down
the embankment and on to the other side of the canal to a heavily
overgrown spot we had been baiting for days with the bread and
banana delights.
Keeping our heads down we observed them through the bushes
and giggled quietly to each other as sixteen-year-olds did in those
days. As we played at being Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson, the
men scaled the fence and stepped towards a nearby tree and one
proceeded to keep watch while the other dug a hole.
It was quite a deep hole from the time it took and the amount of
earth he removed, and then he took something from his pocket,
which he placed carefully into the hole. The mystery men hurriedly
refilled in the hole before shuffling stealthily away, leaving us
thinking they must have been up to no good and, more impor-
tantly, wondering what was being buried.
I snapped out of my daydreaming when the express train entered
a tunnel. My eyes now fully open, I smiled at the recollection that
was so clear in my mind it could have happened yesterday. But
it was over fifty years ago, and I could even remember the date –
29th July 1966.
Why would I remember that date? Easy; it was the day before
England triumphed in the football World Cup, their one and only
win. A game I had watched with Jamie on his parents’ tiny black-
and-white television. We cheered every goal and his father even let
us have a beer to celebrate the victory, the first alcohol to pass our
lips, honest!
Now I was on the train from Bristol to Penzance, so I had plenty
of time to reminisce about our childhood before meeting up with
We’ll be like that dog who found
the stolen World Cup a few months
ago. We’ll be all over the papers
Jamie the very next day. He had phoned to say he was in hospital
and urgently needed to discuss something with me face to face.
His health hadn’t been good, that was why he had semi-retired to
Cornwall, so I feared the worst and the memories from the good
old days were rushing round in my head as the journey progressed.
Resting my eyes, my thoughts returned to the strange events by
the canal. After the two furtive strangers had gone, we debated for
some time if we should go and see what they had hidden, but –
you can hear the chickens squawking – we bottled it. Fearful that
if they caught us in the act of tampering with their secret hole then
a fate worse than death would befall us, we loaded up our fishing
gear on our bikes and pedalled home as fast as our spindly legs
would take us. The following day we were all-consumed with the
big football match and only briefly discussed what could be hidden
there, coming up with outlandish ideas such as a coded message
for a Russian spy, a gun used in a grisly murder or, my personal
favourite, someone’s dismembered hand.
It was not until late morning of that historic day in the annals of
English football that we had a clue. The newspapers were full of
football news, with everything else, deemed of little interest to the
discerning readers, relegated to the middle pages.
Jamie suddenly exclaimed, ‘What the f…!’ just stopping himself
short as his mother glared at him. Ashen-faced, he beckoned for me
to follow him to his bedroom and pointed with a shaking finger to
44 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN38storycomp.indd 44
the news item concerned. The report told of a robbery at a country
estate just outside the town, where a large quantity of diamonds
had been stolen. The owners of the house had reported seeing two
men running from the house towards the canal – the same canal
we had been fishing in.
Of course, we should have told our parents there and then, but we
were determined to go back to that tree, dig the hole and retrieve
what we now believed to be stolen diamonds.
As Jamie explained, ‘We’ll be like that dog who found the stolen
World Cup a few months ago. Our picture will be all over the
papers and we’ll be certain to get a large reward.’
I remembered. About four months before the tournament, the
famous trophy had been stolen from an exhibition and a ransom
note sent to the police. It was found a week later under a hedge by
a collie dog called Pickles, who became an overnight celebrity in a
blaze of publicity.
Against all logic we decided to keep quiet – even though I person-
ally found it hard to keep a secret – planning to return to the tree
as soon as possible and dig up the loot. I didn’t tell Jamie I was still
hoping it was a dismembered hand!
The journey continued, and I stretched my legs by walking
unsteadily along to the buffet car to get a cup of tea and a sandwich,
marked ‘freshly made’ despite already curling up at the edges.
There were more important things to think about after Jamie’s
recent call, but I couldn’t forget that day in our teens.
Obviously, we couldn’t wait to find out what had been hidden, so
late the following morning we were back at our secret fishing spot
trying to pluck up the courage to start digging for treasure.
Around midday we made our move, reasoning that any sensible
person would be either at home preparing for Sunday lunch or
making their way to the pub for some lunchtime refreshment. We
nonchalantly ambled along the towpath towards the tree, whistling
and kicking at the dusty path as we went, and anybody watching
would have surmised that we were up to no good, such was our
overacted attempt at trying to look innocent.
An argument ensued as to who would be on watch and who
would dig, but as Jamie had brought his mum’s garden trowel, he
insisted on the interesting job. I reluctantly agreed, but only on the
proviso that as soon as he saw something, I could join him.
There we were, me gormlessly hanging over the fence on lookout
while Jamie was digging for all he was worth. Every few seconds
I was spouting, ‘Found anything yet, found anything yet?’ with
Jamie eventually exclaiming, ‘Shut up, you prat. Oh, hold on. Yes,
I’ve found something!’ It took a nanosecond for me to bound across
to the hole and then we were both on our knees using our hands to
remove the loose dirt around a maroon velvet pouch.
Jamie dangled the pouch in front of me, saying, ‘Hmm, what
now?’
I cupped the bottom with my hand and jiggled my fingers,
feeling numerous hard objects and hearing a dull, chinking sound.
We both uttered in unison, ‘Diamonds.’
We must have looked demented as we furiously refilled the hole
and jumped up and down on the patch before racing back to the
safety of our secret fishing spot.
By now, Jamie was holding the top of the bag so tightly his hand
was going white, but first we had to find something to tip the
contents into. There was only one thing available, our bait box, so
we tipped the wriggling maggots into the water and, both quiv-
ering with excitement, took a few deep breaths to calm our nerves.
It’s often good to wait for something; anticipation is good for the
soul, and I’m sure all good things were going through our minds
about becoming celebrities, helping to bring the thieves to justice
and being more famous than Pickles.
02/12/2020 10:58:58

‘Do it, Jamie, tip the diamonds out now.’ I implored, and he slowly
pulled the drawstring apart and carefully tipped the contents into
the maggot box. We stared, and then stared some more, transfixed
by the smooth, multi-coloured stones. Jamie was speechless as I
spluttered, ‘It’s pebbles, fricking pebbles. Why would anyone bury
a pouch of pebbles?’
There was only one logical explanation. One of the mystery men
must have been double-crossing the other and had pocketed the
diamonds for himself, burying the pebbles in the process because,
as Jamie said, ‘There’s no honour amongst thieves, that’s what my
dad says.’
The loot from the robbery was never recovered and the thieves
were never brought to justice while, typically, the insurance
company refused to pay out on some technicality in the policy’s
small print. We never fished in our secret spot again; too many bad
memories.
The train arrived late in Penzance, probably delayed by a few
leaves on the line at Plymouth or some other equally catastrophic
event. After a quick walk to my hotel I sent a text to tell Jamie I
would see him at visiting time the next day. I wasn’t really looking
forward to it and was already mentally preparing for bad news
about his health and saying my final goodbyes to my best friend.
Although it had been a long and tiring day I couldn’t sleep and
kept thinking about him. He had been very good to me in my life.
In fact, I owed everything I had to Jamie, even though after the
events at the canal we had lost touch for a while and gone our sepa-
rate ways.
I had taken the academic route, A-levels, university and then a
career in accountancy, eventually number-crunching for a large
corporation. Everyone knows someone who, against all the odds,
does exceptionally well in life and Jamie was certainly one of those.
He left school unencumbered with academic qualifications, joining
his dad’s small building company and learning his trade while
doing a building and estimating course. He was constantly in
trouble for bunking off college and being totally unreliable. After
all, his dad was never going to sack him, was he?
That all changed when his dad became ill and Jamie took over.
It became local folklore how he singlehandedly transformed the
operation, ambitiously taking over other building companies and
creating a successful business empire.
Infrequently, our paths would cross, and we would exchange a
few words, promising to phone each other but never doing so as we
each had our own circle of friends and had different career paths.
By the time we were 24, I was into my third year working for the
corporation and feeling very bored with the repetitive nature of
the job, while Jamie’s company was thriving and moving to larger
premises on a new trading estate that his company had designed
and built. It was then, in 1974, that I received an unexpected call
from him.
He invited me to see his new facility, and I almost didn’t go as we
had absolutely nothing in common by then. But something made
me want to see what my best friend from my youth – who everyone
had called a ‘waster’ – had made of his opportunities in life.
An office tour revealed an impressive operation with manage-
ment, estimators, surveyors and designers housed together in a
custom-built facility.
Back in his large glazed office, one of two on a mezzanine at the
end of the building where he could survey his empire like a real
Goldfish Charlie, he gave me an overview of his current projects
for large industrial estates and housing projects across the region.
In response to his, ‘Any questions?’ I really couldn’t think of
anything sensible to ask, so rather banally pointed to the large,
adjoining office and enquired, ‘Who’s office is that?’
WF228JAN38storycomp.indd 45
STORY COMP
Jamie replied enthusiastically, ‘It’s yours if you want it, why do
you think you’re here? I need a financial controller that I can trust,
and I can’t think of anyone better than you.’
There was no way I would ever turn him down, and that was
over 45 years ago.
In the taxi to the hospital the next day I was dreading hearing
what Jamie had to say. I had some news too, and it would probably
be the wrong time to say it.
With trepidation, I walked into the impressive private room,
thinking that at least he could afford the very best care. His wife
Jessica left his side, ran towards me and gave me a big, tearful hug.
‘I’m so glad you’re here, Stephen. He’s been asking to see you for
days. I’ll leave you two together as you must have a lot to discuss.’
She went, leaving the two of us smiling at each other, just as we
used to on our fishing trips many years before. As usual, Jamie had
the first word.
‘Steve, it’s so good of you to come. There’s no easy way to tell you
this, but you won’t be seeing much more of me…’
I interrupted, my voice breaking. ‘I thought it was something
serious, Jamie. Is it the big C? How long have you got, mate?’
There’s no easy way to tell you
this, but you won’t be seeing much
more of me…
Jamie looked at me like I was crazy. ‘What are you rabbiting on
about? I’m in here to have my varicose veins treated. I was about
to say that you won’t be seeing much more of me as I’m selling the
business and Jessie and I are retiring to France.’
I let it sink in before I spoke. ‘Well, I never expected that, and I
was about to tell you that I plan to retire as well. It’s the right time
for both of us. We’re way past our sell-by dates.’
It was then I noticed he had tears in his eyes. Jamie wasn’t usually
emotional and he averted his gaze as I looked at him. When he
recovered his composure, he unfolded a creased and yellowing
newspaper page, the same one he showed me on the day of the
1966 World Cup final.
‘You’ll remember this page, Steve. What I didn’t explain to you
was that I recognised this guy in the photograph.’
To be honest, I didn’t remember seeing the image of the owner
of the country estate where the robbery had occurred, having been
more excited about the possibility of being famous like Pickles.
Jamie continued, looking decidedly edgy.
‘I realised it was one of the people we had watched burying
something, so it was obviously an insurance scam. Early the next
day I decided to do something unforgivable. I went back to the tree
and dug up a pouch of diamonds, replacing them with some orna-
mental pebbles I’d taken from around my dad’s pond. I honestly
planned that the two of us would take them to the police later,
before I read that the owner of Pickles had originally been accused
of the theft of the World Cup trophy. Then I got cold feet and
decided to keep quiet.’
Annoyed, I spluttered to get my questions out. ‘But why pretend
we were digging them up later? Why would you do that?’
I knew the answer already, I was notorious at not keeping secrets
and never lying. So I quickly pressed on. ‘And what happened to
the diamonds, Jamie?’
Continued overleaf
Writers’FORUM #228 45
02/12/2020 10:59:17
 STORY COMP
I
More Famous than Pickles continued
was struck by the simplicity
of the opening sentence in
He squirmed in his bed, struggling to reply, but finally he did. Paul RT Barnett’s Another
‘I kept the diamonds hidden for years. With the ongoing police Year. In a few words we
and insurance investigation it became even harder to say anything, know how long ago Ray’s
even to you, Steve, as suspicion would have fallen on the two of marriage failed, and also that
us if they found out. About three years later, every now and then, he has been unable to cope
I would bunk off work and college and go to Amsterdam, slowly with his loss and changed
but surely selling the diamonds and stashing large sums away in circumstances. For Ray, that
a secret bank account. The money was eventually used to finance moment two years earlier is
the growth of the company, well before you joined.’ still visceral and all too real.
I was not happy nor impressed but was left with a dilemma after The second paragraph
he spoke again. lets us know this was not
‘Steve, I want to make it right by you. When the business is sold an acrimonious separation.
the proceeds will be split three ways, one third to each of us. Not to His ex-wife is still concerned
keep you quiet, you understand, but in recognition of your contri- about his wellbeing.
bution to the company’s success.’
I snapped back sarcastically, ‘What about the other third, Jamie? Ray knows Maggie worries
Funds for more “tomfoolery”, I suppose.’ about him, not just because
He grinned, just like the young Jamie used to grin when he was they had once been married, but
trying to get me to do something I shouldn’t. because that’s the way she is.
‘That’s easy, Steve. The other third will go to Save the Children, She’s not cruel.
to ease the guilt I have felt about it all this time.’
I made him wait overnight for an answer because he had let me I felt for Ray as he had to
down badly, but I already knew I would accept the agreement. deal with the true and trite
Primarily for the children’s charity, but also for giving me closure suggestions of how to cope
on two of the three big mysteries in my life: how diamonds can with life after the separation.
transform into pebbles, and why we never got to be as famous as
Pickles. The third one, why England has never won the football Keep yourself busy, they’d
World Cup again, will have to remain a mystery. said, like it was a magic formula
for everything.
About the author Kez lives in the Cotswolds and, when The first part of the story
not writing, spends his time propagating plants while chasing his seems to be heading towards
grandchildren off the garden. With two novels drafted but a disastrous Christmas after
hibernating he enjoys writing feel-good short stories. we learn of his drunken visit
to the family home the year
before. But Ray has a different
scenario in mind for this year.
A far worse one.
Fortunately he decides to
go for a walk before putting
his plan into operation.
While out, he sees a woman
leaning over the bridge and
mistakenly thinks she is
about to jump. In reality she
has been trying not to throw
up – without success as it
turns out. It is at this point
that the story shifts gear.
I particularly enjoyed the
Highly commended interaction of Ray and Leyla:
There were eight other shortlisted stories this month:
The woman gives him this
The Moth by Steven Barrett levelling look that slowly breaks
The Art of Capaccio by Dora Bona into a huge smile. ‘Did you think
The Lunchtime Visit by Morna Clements I was going to…’
Florrie Moore is Innocent by Sarah Hunter Ray pulls a face, like she’s
Married in D Minor by Ryan Coull being ridiculous, shakes his
Systems by Richard Hughes head. ‘God, no.’ She bursts into
The Yellow Circle by Sam Szanto a snort-drip of a laugh.
Ghost Stories by Jess Amy Dixon
And later in the story after
46 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN38storycomp.indd 46
Leyla has explained why she
was on the bridge:
‘What would you have done,
Clarence, if I’d straddled the
barrier?’
‘Well, now that I know you a
little, I’d have let you drop like
a stone.’
I enjoyed the way Ray is
shown slowly edging back
from his own personal
bridge of doom as he enjoys
his evening with Leyla.
The story ends on a note of
hope, exactly as any good
Christmas story should.
J
osie O’Reilly’s writing in
Somewhere Wild Beyond
can only be described as
lyrical. She has a way with
descriptive phrases that puts
readers completely in the
scene with her characters.
Across the creek, the
mountains were aubergine
bruises against the sky.
Somewhere in the woods behind
him was the soft percussion of
snow falling from the high tops
of the evergreens.
Not only are we able to see
and hear the countryside, we
are given a word picture of
the trailer Jack currently calls
home.
The flimsy roof leaked in heavy
rain and the canvas he had roped
across it rattled and flapped, but
Jack enjoyed the solitude of its
humble scratched-out plot; its
one, brave room.
The beauty of the
writing continues with the
description of how Jack feels
when he realises Olivia-Grace
is looking at him: He felt at
once deeply aware of all his bones
and all of his flesh.
As soon as we know the
woman in question is the
new young wife of the ranch
owner, it is obvious there
will be a connection between
Jack and Olivia-Grace that
can only end badly, but
which of the characters is
going to suffer? The initial
02/12/2020 10:59:35

Competition round-up
Simply told and lyrical
Lorraine Mace explains why she chose this month’s winners
suggestion is Jack himself:
In the velvet thickness of the
dark he began to battle with a
swarm of feelings so foreign to him
that he felt at once both alone and
overcrowded.
Josie uses these contrasting
emotions again after Olivia-
Grace has become a regular
night-time visitor to the trailer.
When she left each morning
before the lift of dawn, Jack’s
trailer became suddenly too full of
him and too empty of her.
Olivia-Grace’s true nature is
exposed by her reaction to the
horse Jack has broken in. He
realises she would try to tame
him and remove the essence of
who he is, too. So after freeing
the colt, he frees himself.
WF228JAN38storycomp.indd 47
‘Some aren’t meant for others,’
he replied, ambling out towards
the pasture.
I
appreciated the way Kez
Wilkins leads us up the
garden path in More Famous
than Pickles. He sets up a
hook about diamonds, negates
the idea, then resolves the issue
right at the end when we’ve
all but forgotten they were an
integral part of the whole.
The story is told by Stephen,
both in flashback and present
day, as he travels to see his old
school friend and present-day
colleague in hospital. Fearing
the worst, he looks back on
their early life, how they drifted
apart and were reunited.
Underpinning the story of
the friendship is the mystery
of the missing diamonds.
When the two teenagers go
to the canal to dig up the pouch
they saw the men bury the day
before, it is to discover only
polished pebbles in the bag.
There was only one logical
explanation. One of the mystery
men must have been double-
crossing the other and had
pocketed the diamonds for himself,
burying the pebbles in the process
because, as Jamie said, ‘There’s
no honour amongst thieves, that’s
what my dad says.’
I liked the touch of humour
when Stephen expects to hear
his friend now only has a short
period of time left to live:
‘What are you rabbiting on
about? I’m here to have my
varicose veins treated. I was about
to say that you won’t be seeing
much more of me as I’m selling
STORY COMP
Lyrical writing versus
purple prose
It is very easy to overdo
lyrical writing so that it
descends into purple prose.
This is when writing is
overly embellished. Lyrical
writing allows readers to
enjoy the beauty and flow
of the words. Purple prose
slows the pace, makes the
content confusing, and stops
the reader from enjoying
the story. You know you’ve
drifted into purple prose
territory when:
� The writing draws
attention to itself rather than
enhancing the storytelling.
� The sentences become too
convoluted to read easily: The
black-haired, dark-eyed scary
witch scowled threateningly at
the poorly dressed peasant.
the business and Jessie and I are
retiring to France.’
Jamie’s reason for keeping
quiet about having dug up the
jewels is credible as he reminds
Stephen that the finder of the
World Cup trophy in 1966 was
originally accused of stealing it.
The ending to the story ties
up the loose ends and answers
all the questions, bar one:
The third one, why England
has never won the football World
Cup again, will have to remain
a mystery.
Lorraine is co-author
of The Writer’s ABC
Checklist (Accent
Press) and author of
children’s novel Vlad
the Inhaler (LRP)
Writers’FORUM #228 47
02/12/2020 10:59:48
 SHORT STORIES
Fiction workshop
Our head judge uses reader entries to show how to improve your writing
Locking in the senses
A
story is composed
of many elements.
It should include all
those fine details
that enhance the settings
and add to the attributes of
your characters: descriptions
and feelings. Although it is
important to include all five
senses when crafting a story, I
find that many writers neglect
two of the senses, those of
touch and taste. Quite often a
story will come along where
the author has used sight,
sound and smell to good
effect, but if they had also
incorporated touch and taste,
the work would have been
lifted into a different class.
Obviously, not every scene
or encounter needs such
embellishments, and they
should be used sparingly for
best effect. But if the senses
are omitted entirely the story
remains just a skeleton without
any meat on the bones.
On an English Country Holiday
by Kathryn Price provides a
good example of a story in
need of such embellishments.
The romantic idea is good, but
it needs a bit of work to enable
readers to be there in the
moment with the characters.
The story opens with three
girls meeting quite by chance
in their first term at university.
They introduce themselves and
join the university folk club as
a trio.
After a year of friendship,
one of them, Annie, suggests
a narrowboat holiday. She has
her own narrowboat and the
girls use it for their holiday.
The following year, after their
finals, they set off for yet
another trip on the canal, this
48 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN48storyworkshop.indd 48
time in the hope of meeting up
with the crew of another boat.
Sure enough, they encounter
three lads enjoying their
first narrowboat holiday. Not
having any experience, their
boat bumps into that of the
girls. They offer drinks by way
of apology and a friendship
forms. They agree to pair up
for the rest of the holiday and
the two boats chug side by side
along the river.
One of the girls, Sally,
decides to show one of the
young men she is interested
in him by getting up in one of
the stopover pubs and singing
her own version of In an English
Country Garden by rewording
it to On an English Country
Holiday. The friends all applaud
and Stuart, the aim of the song,
shows he is more than happy to
have been picked out by Sally.
Lack of conflict
The story opens with friendship
and continues in the same
vein after the girls meet the
boys. The problem with this
is that the storyline lacks any
form of conflict. Everything
in the garden is rosy from
start to finish, which means
there isn’t a compulsion on the
part of the reader to see how
the characters will overcome
obstacles.
My advice would be to
introduce a few hurdles on
this waterborne path to true
love. There needs to be a few
misunderstandings, some
tension, maybe even one or two
cross words, before the two
lovers eventually find a way to
their happy-ever-after moment.
I am going to use the
following passage to illustrate
the need for some conflict and
also to show how all five senses
could be introduced.
The river stretches of the
journey, which the inexperienced
boaters had feared, and had
intended to avoid by heading in
the other direction, were pretty
easy to navigate. The days were
sunny, the evenings long, and all
filled with chat and laughter.
In real life that sounds
idyllic, but in storytelling terms
nothing is happening. Rather
than have this wonderful
problem-free passage along
the river, I would suggest that
things should go wrong. It is in
moments of stress that the true
nature of a character shows.
What better way to have a
budding romance hit some
turbulence than during a river
trip where the inexperienced
man gets things wrong and
is shown up by the woman
he has been trying hard to
with tutor
Lorraine Mace
impress? Alternatively, perhaps
the man is more than capable
of handling the boat but the
more experienced woman
keeps giving unnecessary and
unwanted advice because she
is trying to impress him?
The sense of smell
The passage above would be
an ideal place to bring in some
additional sensory experience
for the reader.
As the narrowboat eased along
the river, the scent of freshly mown
grass drifted across from the
nearby fields.
Of course, this would also
be the perfect opportunity to
bring in the necessary conflict,
to give readers a reason to read
on. It is clear Sally and Stuart
are meant to be together, but
the story has to be about how
they find a way to each other’s
hearts when fate appears to be
conspiring against them.
02/12/2020 11:00:33
 If you’d like your Story Comp entry to be considered for a workshop, tick the box on the entry form or state it clearly in your email
Sight – and some
conflict
Let us assume Stuart is doing
his best, but failing, to impress
Sally with his boat skills.
Sally glanced over at Stuart,
who waved and gave her a
thumbs-up from the helm of the
neighbouring boat. As he did so,
he stumbled and disappeared from
view, still clutching the tiller. She
watched with horror as his boat
veered off-course.
The sense of sound
What better way to make Sally
angry than for Stuart’s boat to
hit hers?
Sally held tight to the tiller as
Stuart’s boat rammed alongside.
A dreadful screeching sound rent
the air as the two narrowboats
collided and scraped against each
other.
‘What on earth’s happened?’
Annie yelled from inside the cabin.
‘That idiot just hit our boat,’
Sally said, glaring at Stuart.
The sense of touch
Of course, that would bring
Annie out to see how badly her
narrowboat has fared.
‘Oh no,’ Sally said, leaning
over to inspect the damage once
Stuart had got his boat back
under control. ‘Look, Annie, the
paintwork has been destroyed.’
‘How bad is it?’ Annie asked.
Sally leaned over the side
and ran her fingers along the
ridges where the paint had been
removed. The indentations felt like
miniature railway tracks.
‘Nothing that a bit of filler and
some touch-up paint won’t fix,’
she said, glaring at Stuart. ‘And
I know just the person to do the
work.’
The sense of taste
We’ll assume Stuart is suitably
contrite and not only repairs
the damage but also brings a
peace offering in the shape of
a large box of chocolates.
‘Mmm, my favourite,’ said Sally,
as a heady mix of orange liqueur
and white chocolate swirled over
her tongue. ‘But you needn’t think
WF228JAN48storyworkshop.indd 49
I’ve forgiven you. At least, not first term at university. Each had scared of nothing, except being
until I’ve had another of these spotted the poster advertising the called Long Tall Sally, I suppose.’
gorgeous chocolates.’ Uni Folk Club, though two of them She tapped herself on the chest.
Her taste buds tingled as the didn’t know if they had the nerve ‘Sally, English Lit.’
coffee cream melted. This was to go in when they got to the pub. ‘Theresa, Geography,’ the girl
heaven! The third had no such qualms as said. ‘Called Tich ever since I
she looked up at a very tall girl reached six feet tall aged fourteen.’
The senses in general hesitating outside. Sally pointed at the steamed up
When writing about where a ‘On your own? So am I. Shall windows. ‘Shall we brave it?’
character lives or works, don’t we go in together?’ Theresa nodded and they moved
forget to include such things ‘I am a bit scared,’ admitted the forward.
as the pictures on the walls, or other girl. ‘I know it’s silly.’ ‘Hi?’ said a voice from behind.
the colour scheme. Describing ‘If I had your height, I’d be Sally turned to see another girl,
a woman or man by the scent scared of nothing, except being not quite as tall as Theresa but
they use can be far more called Long Tall Sally, I suppose.’ almost.
effective than talking about She tapped herself on the chest. ‘I’m Annie, Engineering. Can I
blue eyes and black hair. ‘Sally, English Lit.’ tag along?’
Food and drink can be useful ‘Theresa, Geography. Called ‘Of course,’ said Sally. ‘The
tools to incorporate the senses Tich ever since I reached six feet more the merrier.’
– taste, smell and sight all come tall aged fourteen.’ She reached forward and pushed
into play, even when describing ‘Hi?’ said another not quite as at the heavy door, surprised at the
a burger. The texture of tall girl who had sidled up to listen vibrations she could feel through
furnishings, the softness of to them. ‘Annie, Engineering. Can the oak. As the door opened she
skin or the coarseness of rough I tag along?’ was almost knocked backwards by
plaster all add to the sensory the wall of sound.
experience of touch. If we put this passage into
External noises of all kinds Sally’s point of view we can The ending works
can evoke the feeling of being bring in more of the senses to By the end of the story we are
in a place with the characters. enhance the scene. firmly in Sally’s head. After
A train clattering on tracks, an she has sung the song showing
eagle’s scream, the burbling of Sally knew she was close to the her interest in Stuart, the
water over rocks, bells tolling Uni Folk Club venue long before friends urge them to go on a
the angelus, voices disturbing she reached the door to the pub. boating holiday together, just
the night, the dawn chorus – all She’d heard the sound of voices the two of them. Stuart agrees.
of these can show readers where raised in song floating into the
something is happening much night air from two streets away. Sally released a huge sigh of
better than telling them. She was about to go in when relief she hadn’t realised she was
she spotted a tall girl take a step holding and smiled at Stuart, her
Whose point of view? forward, shake her head and then eyes shining.
It is much easier to bring in the step back again. ‘Bagsy me driving.’
senses if using a single point of Sally walked over, avoiding ‘Rats,’ said Stuart. ‘I’d better
view for each scene. the shards of a smashed bottle learn how to operate a lock.’
In Kathryn’s story, although glistening in the streetlight. The
we know by the end that Sally stench of the stale beer was enough The only change I would
is the main character, there isn’t to make her glad she didn’t drink. make to this involves Sally’s
a central point of view at the ‘Nervous about going in on your ‘shining eyes’. If we are in her
start. This hampers us being own?’ she said. point of view we can only see
able to ‘see’ the three girls. ‘I am a bit scared,’ the girl said. what she sees.
‘I know it’s silly.’
The three girls had met in their ‘If I had your height, I’d be Sally released a huge sigh of
relief she hadn’t realised she was
holding and smiled at Stuart. She
How to use the two missing senses could see from his shining eyes
Taste and touch are probably the hardest to bring into a story, that he felt the same way she did.
but if you can manage it you will add depth to your storytelling.
Taste is one of the most evocative, so it doesn’t need excessive
descriptions. Try thinking of how you would describe the Rage and
zesty tang of citrus, or the richness of a chocolate brownie. Retribution, the
What flavours come to mind? Touch requires you to think latest in the DI
about how something feels when your character reaches out or Paolo Sterling
sits down. What are the points of contact? The sense of touch crime series by
is about more than just texture. It includes sensations such as Lorraine Mace,
temperature, pain and pleasure. is published by
Accent Press
Writers’FORUM #228 49
02/12/2020 11:00:45
 BRAINSTORM

Writers FORUM POETRY COMP

#228: HELP
T
he topic for the competition is
‘Help’. The only rules are a limit
of 10 lines and no exclamation
marks; not a hint or a smidgeon
of one. Therefore, if someone in your poem
is shouting, or there is a very loud noise,
you will need to show this solely via the
words you chose and perhaps cadence.
So how have other poets approached
speaking about help? In number 30 of
More Poems, AE Housman has the narrator
promise a specific individual help, should
it ever be needed.

XXX

Shake hands, we shall never be friends, all’s over;

I only vex you the more I try.
All’s wrong that ever I’ve done or said,
And nought to help it in this dull head:
shake hands, here’s luck, good-bye.

But if you come to a road where danger

Or guilt or anguish or shame’s to share,
Be good to the lad that loves you true
And the soul that was born to die for you,
And whistle and I’ll be there.

And we all know that in any Western

film worth its spurs and its tumbleweeds,
however bad things seem, the US cavalry
will turn up just in time to save the day.
Well, save the day if you happen to be
inside the wagon-circle but maybe not if
your tribe is Comanche or Sioux. Which
raises the idea that help for one group
of people sometimes means disaster for
another group.
That aside, here is a Walt Whitman
poem about military men and their horses
fording a river.
Cavalry Crossing a Ford
A line in long array where they wind betwixt
green islands,
They take a serpentine course, their arms
flash in the sun – hark to the musical clank,
Behold the silvery river, in it the splashing
horses loitering stop to drink,
Behold the brown-faced men, each group,
each person a picture, the negligent rest on
the saddles,
Some emerge on the opposite bank, others
are just entering the ford – while,
Scarlet and blue and snowy white,
The guidon flags flutter gayly in the wind.
Still on the theme of who gets help and
who does not, in part eight of City Without
a Name, Czeslaw Milosz gently reminds us
that sometimes it is others who get help.
Absent, burning, acrid, salty, sharp.
Thus the feast of Insubstantiality.
Under a gathering of clouds anywhere.
In a bay, on a plateau, in a dry arroyo.
No density. No hardness of stone.
Even the Summa thins into straw and smoke.
And the angelic choirs fly over in a
pomegranate seed
Sounding every few instants, not for us, their
trumpets.
Then there is one of the many folk-style
tales where someone thinks they need help
and asks for it, when actually they don’t
need help at all: a situation in which many
of us have found ourselves.
Once a monk made a request of the
monastery’s most senior monk.
‘I have just entered the monastery,’ he said.
‘Please give me instructions, Master.’
Joshu said, ‘Have you had your breakfast?’
‘Yes, I have,’ replied the monk.
‘Then,’ said Joshu, ‘wash your bowls.’
The monk had an insight.
As well as thinking about how to make
some aspect of help, helping or being
helped the focus of your poem, keep in
mind the help your readers need in order
to get the most out of your chosen words.

50 Writers’FORUM #228

WF228JAN50poetrycomp.indd 50 02/12/2020 11:01:35

 You can contact Sue at poetry@writers-forum.com
with poetry editor
Sue Butler
If you answer no or even perhaps to any
of the questions below, consider amending
your poem so you can reply with a
resounding yes.
■ Does the reader have enough
information to allow them to understand
and believe in the relationship between the
characters in the poem?
■ Is it clear what is motivating any action
or behaviour?
■ Are the images used fresh, personal
and apposite rather than generalisations
or cliches?
■ Is any rhyme that is being used creating
a deliberate and beneficial effect that the
poem would be poorer without?
■ Does the poem stand strong and
sure-footed alone, without any need for a
supporting explanation?
Help comes in many guises, so stay
aware of how to get help for your own
writing.
■ Read as much poetry as you can in
all formats and languages and from all
periods of history.
■ Form writing relationships with other
writers and just as importantly with
readers of poetry. Seek their feedback and
explore any constructive criticisms they
might make.
■ Take an online course and enter
competitions that offer feedback.
Remember the words of Albert Camus,
who suggested that a writer has nothing to
teach and everything to learn.
I believe Camus was being overly
modest in saying he had nothing to
teach, but I wholeheartedly applaud him
urging writers to remain open to learning
anything that might enhance their ability
to write creatively, and with that in mind
to accept any help available to them.
How to enter
Turn to page 53 for details of how to pay
and how to enter this month’s contest.
WF228JAN50poetrycomp.indd 51
POETRY
EXPERIMENT
Your take on the Tao
Many people are aware of the well-observed and engaging short stories
written by Somerset Maugham, but he also wrote some equally well-
observed and engaging novels.
In The Painted Veil, the following exchange occurs:
‘You spoke of the Tao the other day,’ said Kitty after a pause. ‘Tell me what it is.’
Waddington gave her a little look, hesitated an instant, and then with a faint
smile on his comic face answered:
‘It is the Way and the Waygoer. It is the eternal road along which walk all
beings, but no being made it. It is everything and nothing. From it all things spring,
all things conform to it, and to it at last all things return. It is a square without
angles, a sound which ears cannot hear, and an image without form. It is a vast
net and though its meshes are as wide as the sea it lets nothing through. It is the
sanctuary where all things find refuge. It is nowhere, but without looking out of
the window you may see it. Desire not to desire, it teaches and leaves all things to
take their own course. He that humbles himself shall be preserved entire. He that
bends shall be made straight. Failure is the foundation of success and success is
the lurking place of failure: but who can tell where the turning point will come? He
who strives after tenderness can become even as a little child. Gentleness brings
victory to him who attacks and safety to him who defends. Mighty is he who
conquers himself.’
‘Does it mean anything?’
‘Sometimes, when I’ve had half a dozen whiskies and look at the stars, I think
perhaps it does.’
■ What does a square without angles taste like?
■ How loud is a sound that ears can’t hear?
■ What do you desire not to desire – and why?
Choose one of the pair of opposites from the extract and use poetry
to explore your reaction to it. If you choose to do this with the help of
whiskey, please drink responsibly.
And if it has been a long while since you spent any time looking at (or
listening to) the stars, please make time this month.
POETRY WORKOUT
Go the way of all flesh, give something away or make an each-
way bet. If you’re in a bad way, seek help. Use every possible
rhyme: bay, day, fay, gay, hay.
1
Be a wayfarer on a highway or on the wayside of a byway by a
waymark. Who do you meet?
2 In a two-stanza poem, separate the curds of an idea from the whey.
3 Go away and come back changed. In what ways are you different?
4
Give way to or waylay an urge you’ve been resisting. Be wayward
and do something your way. Stand by the consequences.
Writers’FORUM #228 51
02/12/2020 11:01:46
 POETRY

Poetry comp results with poetry judge Sue Butler

£100 winner like and just write. For yourself… for the fun of it… to explore
your ideas or emotions… to exercise your brain… to distract
Enemy or Friend? yourself… to fill a wet afternoon.
Julie Macklin-Carr, Whitstable, Kent
Highly commended
Fear is my constant.
As I struggle to control the burden of lock down
The urge to feed my crushed soul
My heart thuds, my mind waivers
Caroline Newbury, Aylesford, Kent
As the mirror mocks my frame
The scales call out to me The of the fridge murmurs across the long lonely house
weight
Like my enemy…or my friend
I step on, standing rigid, looking down Tiny

light
Relief, for today they are my friend.
Cluster
of rich, decadent
About the poet Julie is a legal secretary who recently chocolatey companions
moved to the Kent coast and gave up the daily commute
to London. She has written as a hobby on and off for a few Heaviness
years and is hoping the sea air will inspire her creativity! around
my

T
his month’s winning poem on the theme of Weight asks
a question that is answered – for now – in the final line.
But, in between, the narrator takes us on a heartrending
journey. Can weight really have such a huge impact on
the way the narrator feels about his or her self? Clearly it can.
There is lovely contrast between the title being a question and
the opening line being a statement. Both use the same, simple
style of language but they demand totally different responses
from the reader. The rest of the poem is then a single sentence.
Julie says: ‘I don’t normally write poetry, but I saw the subject
and it interested me. I chose to write about the mind of someone
with complex and dangerous weight issues as it is sadly a very
common problem.’
Are you someone who maybe reads poetry but doesn’t write it?
If so, be inspired by Julie and have a go. Choose any subject you
hips
There is so much going on in this poem, so the reader needs to use
both their eyes and their ears if they are to fully appreciate all the
nuances and resonances. Caroline says: ‘My creative writing tutor
recently introduced my class to scattered poems and I liked the
idea of trying to represent weight visually. I’m sure the theme is
one that is familiar to many of us.’
As a reader, what do you like (and maybe dislike) about
scattered poems? Is it a technique you could use in your own
poetry – either for whole poems or for a section of a poem?
Take some time this month to scatter words across the page then
edit out anything that isn’t – to your ear (or eye) – poetry. Embrace
the unexpected juxtapositions and don’t be afraid to explore all
possibilities and opportunities.

52 Writers’FORUM #228

WF228JAN52poetryresults.indd 52 02/12/2020 11:02:35


#226 Weight
Highly commended
Bun in the oven
Emma Teichmann, Cambridge
In the baking aisle I stagger to the flour,
Take two bags, place them in your arms and say:
That’s how heavy Baby is today.
Don’t be fooled by the apparent simplicity of this poem. Emma
says: ‘I’m a 32-year-old mum of two girls and I spend a lot of time
pushing my youngest about in the pram – a good time to mull
over poems in my head. My experience of pregnancy, during
which I became obsessed with how big our growing foetus was
and often handed my partner items in the supermarket (‘she’s this
long’, ‘she’s this heavy’), was the inspiration for this poem.’
So how about writing a poem about something you can buy
in a supermarket? Take the ordinary and use poetry to make it
extraordinary.
Highly commended
A Perfect Homosapien
(with apologies to G&S)
Douglas Forrest, Shetland
I am the very model of a perfect homosapien
I eat no fat or meat; I’m a total vegetarian
My pecs and aps are truly quite phenomenal
But my personal trainer’s fees are not so economical
For breakfast I will have a sweet sesame tahini
For lunch something healthy tucked inside a panini
I have regular health checks and I know that my cholesterol
My weight and my BP are ideal, but best of all
I get admiring glances as I strut my stuff on stage
In a form-fitting garment that is currently all the rage
When I see my name lit up in in a natty shade of neon
I know I am the very model of a perfect homosapien
Before you start enjoying A Perfect Homosapien you need to stand
up and begin marching on the spot. And if you can find some
household members to join you, so much the better.
Douglas is a retired teacher who writes a regular column for the
local newspaper in Shetland. He says: ‘When I was thinking about
this month’s theme, Gilbert and Sullivan’s ‘Modern Major General’
came to mind, and a parody of that was the result.’ So if there is a
song from a musical that makes you smile, borrow the cadence or
the theme and see where writing poetry can lead.
WF228JAN52poetryresults.indd 53
HOW TO ENTER
Writers’FORUM
POETRY COMP
Enter our themed poetry contest
with a first prize of £100 and a
Chambers Thesaurus worth £40
O
ur monthly themed poetry competition has a
first prize of £100 and a Chambers Thesaurus
for one winner. A number of runners-up may
also be published, depending upon the nature of the
contest and available space. The entry fee is £7, including
a brief, helpful critique from poetry editor Sue Butler.
You can purchase an entry by following the link on the
Writers’ Forum website – www.writers-forum.com
■ Entry is strictly by email only, one poem per email.
■ The fee is £7 per poem, which includes a short critique from
poetry editor and judge Sue Butler.
■ Note! Poems should only be as long as needed. The absolute
maximum is 10 lines but this is not a target. Be succinct.
■ We want to encourage new writing. Poems must be
your original work and previously unpublished, including
newspapers, magazines, books, pamphlets, websites etc.
The judge’s decision is final and no correspondence over results
will be entered into. By entering, entrants agree to these rules
and for their entries to be published in Writers’ Forum.
POETRY COMP 228: HELP
Deadline: 12 noon GMT on Wed 13 January
Assignment: Read Sue’s detailed instructions on p50
and the rules above to write this month’s poem.
How to enter
1 Pay online by following the link on our website
at www.writers-forum.com/poetrycomp.html
2 Send your entry either in the body of your email or attached
in a Word‑compatible document (.doc/.docx/.rtf). PDFs are
also allowed if the format of your poem has to be precise.
3 Give your name, address and phone number at the end. Add
your web order confirmation number (from the email sent to
you after you pay online), plus a brief biography about yourself:
age, occupation, what inspired you, etc. And be ready to email
a nice author photo if you win!
4 In the subject line write Poetry Comp #228: followed by your
poem’s interesting and relevant title.
5 S end your email to poetrycomp@writers-forum.com by the
deadline above.
Repeat steps 1 to 5 for any additional poems you wish to
enter, one poem at a time.
Good luck! The results will be published the issue after next.
Writers’FORUM #228 53
02/12/2020 11:02:51
 DIRECTORY
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02/12/2020 11:51:53
 Send your event listings three months ahead to diary@writers-forum.com
Literary diary
Although the pandemic has seen the cancellation of many in-person events, plenty
of book festivals, author talks and writing courses are taking place online in early
2021. Kate Medhurst lists a few suggestions to keep you informed and inspired
LITERARY FESTIVALS
F.R.E.S.H. Book Festival
8-9 January 2021
The F.R.E.S.H. Book Festival is an engaging
weekend of entertainment covering books,
film, author presentations, focus groups and
music. F.R.E.S.H, which stands for Fiction,
Romance, Erotica, Spiritual, Health & more,
is going virtual and international with its
2021 edition, BAMM! – Books, Authors,
Movies & Music.
www.freshbookfestivals.net
Sunshine State Book Festival
30 January 2021
In 2020, this Florida festival brought together
75 authors and 3000 readers. To maintain
momentum, and being mindful of everyone’s
safety, the 2021 festival will be an online
digital event, with featured authors including
Pulitzer Prize winner Jack Davis and poet
E Stanley Richardson. The festival will remain
accessible to visitors until 30 June.
www.sunshinestatebookfestival.com
Wolverhampton Literature
Festival
12-14 February 2021
Wolverhampton’s literary festival returns
for its fifth year. Hosted by the City of
Wolverhampton Council, the festival aims to
amplify the voices of authors, poets, writers,
storytellers, puppeteers, podcasters, vloggers
and publishers across the UK. It will feature
talks, performances, workshops and readings,
including the winners of the festival poetry
competition (open now). Full programme
details will be published closer to the time.
www.wolvesliteraturefestival.co.uk
Paisley Book Festival
18-27 February 2021
Paisley Book Festival is delighted to be
returning in 2021 for a second edition,
but because of the current restrictions it
will return online. The programme will be
announced shortly. Visit the website for
updates or to join the mailing list.
www.paisleybookfest.com
Savannah Book Festival
Ongoing
The Savannah Book Festival is hosting one or
two online author events every month – it
WF228JAN54diary.indd 55
Paisley Book Festival will
be online in February
started in October 2020 and will continue
throughout 2021. Previous author events
including conversations with Lee Burke and
John Connolly can be viewed online. Visit the
website for more details of upcoming events.
www.savannahbookfestival.org
MyVLF: virtual literary fest
Ongoing
MyVLF is the free global virtual literary
festival venue connecting readers with
authors. Its online event space gives readers
access to the best of today’s literature and
fiction from internationally based traditional
and independently published authors.
www.myvlf.com
AUTHOR & BOOK EVENTS
Funny You Should Ask,
with the QI Elves
16 December, 7pm
This festive quiz from Heffers Bookshop is
led by the clever elves behind hit panel show
QI. Their new book, Funny You Should Ask,
is a collection of questions from Radio 2’s
inquisitive listeners, on topics ranging from
goosebumps to grapefruit, pizza to pirates and
everything in between. Tickets for this online
event cost £15, which includes a copy of the
book (shipping to UK only). You will be sent a
link to join the Zoom event when ticket sales
end at 5.30pm on the day.
For more details call 01223 463200.
DIRECTORY
SPECIAL
Karen Swan
17 December, 6pm
Bestselling author and former fashion
journalist Karen Swan will be chatting and
reading from her new book Together by
Christmas as well as answering viewers’
questions. This Zoom event is free to join.
www.suffolklibraries.co.uk/whats-on
Michael Morpurgo
20 December, 3pm
Join one of the UK’s best-loved authors
online as he shares his gift for storytelling
in this afternoon of Christmas stories. He’ll
be reading aloud from some of his favourite
books: from adventures on the high seas to
his enduring story of a friendship between
a boy and a horse. Tickets cost from £22,
which includes a copy of Boy Giant.
www.toppingbooks.co.uk/events/bath
Emma Rous
6 January, 7.30pm
Celebrate the launch of The Perfect Guests,
the new novel by international best-selling
author Emma Rous, at this online event
hosted by The Book Warren. Emma will
be reading a short extract from her new
book as well as taking part in a Q&A session
afterwards. The event is free to attend.
www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/book-launch-
of-the-perfect-guests-with-author-emma-
rous-tickets-130687482779?
Continued overleaf
Writers’FORUM #227 55
02/12/2020 16:03:58
 DIRECTORY
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 Send your event listings three months ahead to diary@writers-forum.com
Judithe Little chats
to blogger PattyJ
Continued from page 55
Judithe Little
14 January, 7pm
Take part in this virtual book discussion with
Judithe Little for her new book The Chanel
Sisters. Little will be in conversation with
PattyJ, lifestyle blogger and book club host.
The event is free.
www.judithelittle.com/events
HarperCollins at Home
Tune in and hang out with HarperCollins
authors from the comfort of your home.
#HarperCollinsAtHome features a host
of weekly author events online, hosted on
Zoom, Crowdcast and Livestream.
www.harpercollins.com/pages/
virtual-author-events
At Home with Penguin
A weekly peek into the homes of some of
Penguin’s best-loved authors. These videos
provide a chance for you to connect with
writers in their kitchens, studies and living
rooms as they share how they’re spending
their time, talk about books they themselves
are turning to, and take questions. It’s a great
chance to connect with other book fans, too.
www.penguin.co.uk/articles/2020/mar/
at-home-with-penguin.html
ONLINE WRITING COURSES
Picture Book Writing
Starts 11 January
This CityLit course is designed for children’s
writers and for illustrators wishing to write
their own stories, and will develop both your
ideas and your technique. It will explore the
unique relationship between the words and
the illustration in a picture book and – from
a writing point of view – how the story must
take account of both. The course also looks
at how to prepare a text manuscript and
approach publishers. It costs £129.
www.citylit.ac.uk
Getting Started in
Creative Writing
Starts 11 January
This course from the University of Oxford’s
Department for Continuing Education gives
WF228JAN54diary.indd 57
DIRECTORY
HELPFUL NEW BOOKS
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This six-month course is for the serious
writer, with access to some of the biggest Manuscript Submission
names in publishing. If you’re thinking about Masterclass: Fiction
a creative writing MA, consider this practical 7 April
alternative from the Faber Academy. It takes This Writers’ & Artists’ workshop isn’t about
place over 22 two-hour evening sessions and writing craft, it’s about how to give you and
six full-day sessions and costs £4000. your book the best possible chance when it
www.faberacademy.co.uk comes to approaching literary agents. Join
two leading literary agents for this two-hour
Creative Writing – Poetry for online masterclass in which you’ll receive
Beginners how-to advice on producing a covering letter,
26 January & 2 February guidance on producing an attention-grabbing
This two-session course aims to open the pitch, tips on writing a synopsis, and general
door to writing your own poems. It will use insight into the role literary agents play for
a range of prompts, pictures and poems to their authors. It takes place from 6pm to
get you started. If you have always wanted 8pm and costs £50.
to try writing poetry but have been put off www.writersandartists.co.uk
Writers’FORUM #227 57
02/12/2020 16:04:11
 MOTIVATION
Emily Cunningham helps
you find the way forward
with your writing
THE
MENTOR
Can I unlock a new creativity?
I would like a fresh approach to my
writing. Is it possible to feel inspired even
during lockdown? I’ve got stuck in a rut.
Writing has become a slog and achieving
a state of ‘flow’ has long gone. Do you have
any ideas?
Sienna, Abergele
I
’m glad to hear you’re open to fresh
ideas, Sienna, as I have one that you
might find interesting. The good news
is that it doesn’t cost money, is easily
accessible and can provide long-term
benefits, not just to your writing but to
your life.
And the bad news? It’s something that
make may you raise your eyebrows.
‘What is this?’ I hear you ask.
Well, it’s exploring your inner child as a
source of inspiration.
I can understand if you baulk at this,
as it often provokes a knee-jerk reaction.
People think it’s indulgent navel-gazing or
psychological mumbo-jumbo. But it can be
an amazing resource.
The concept of the inner child can be
traced back to psychologist Carl Jung, who
first developed the child archetype as part
of his theory of the collective unconscious.
More recently, John Bradshaw popularised
the concept in his book Homecoming:
58 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN58mentor.indd 58
Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner
Child (Piatkus). In it, he recognises that
a key characteristic of the inner child
personality is wonder and curiosity about
the world.
As well as being crucial for the child
to learn skills, he says, it is also ‘the life
energy that moves us towards ever-expanding
horizons. We need this life spark – it is
indispensable to our continued growth and
essential to the work of the poet, the artist, and
the creative thinker.’
Culturally, there is a huge pressure to
grow up, to calm down and to be serious.
We lose our playfulness and sense of
fun and close our minds to possibilities
outside our experience.
Our inner child wants to respond
naturally and instinctively to the world
and be fascinated by it, but we ignore that
part of ourselves, choosing rationality over
emotion, routine over spontaneity.
As Walt Disney said: ‘Every child is born
blessed with a vivid imagination. But just
as a muscle grows flabby with disuse, so
the bright imagination of a child pales in
later years if he ceases to exercise it.’
Do you think your mind may have
become flabby, Sienna?
There are easy ways to encourage your
inner child to contribute again, and you
may find them fun, too. My 10-year-old
daughter is an excellent resource for me
because her perspective on life is unjaded
and optimistic.
Yesterday she had the idea of making
a flip book to illustrate the novel we’re
reading (the beautiful October, October by
Katia Balen, Bloomsbury, about a young
girl who lives in the woods) so that the
reader would have a visual representation
of the story as well as a conceptual one.
The tediously practical adult in me
immediately thought of the problem with
this. How can you make a flip book big
enough to encapsulate the plot? But why
02/12/2020 11:03:42

Remember what
you yearned for as a
child, what kept you
awake, what made
you laugh
squash an inventive notion? Why not run
with it and see what happens?
Take this example, Sienna, and try to
spot when your inner adult extinguishes
your own childlike creative spark.
Perhaps you have children of your own,
or friends and relatives with them? Study
how they approach life, how nothing is
impossible.
By the way, this reminds me of a
Winnie-the-Pooh quote: ‘People say nothing
is impossible, but I do nothing every day.’
WF228JAN58mentor.indd 59
Send your letters to Emily at mentor@writers-forum.com
The editor may wonder how this quote is
relevant to the subject of this article but
I’m leaving it in because, hey, it’s fun to
be light-hearted, to subvert the expected.
And also because Winnie-the-Pooh clearly
embraces his own inner child.
In a great online article, ‘Six steps
towards finding your Inner Child on
the page’ (writingclasses.com) Margaret
Meacham says:
To a child, the boundaries between reality
and fantasy are porous, not solid as they are
to adults. It’s so much easier to slip between
the worlds. Of course, as we grow, we have to
be able to distinguish between what’s real and
what isn’t. But this doesn’t mean we have to
relinquish the ability to imagine.
If you don’t have a child handy, you
can draw on your memories of being
one to rekindle that fizzing imagination.
Remember what you yearned for as a
child, what kept you awake at night,
what made you laugh or cry. Revisiting
the intensity of those emotions before we
learnt to dull them as adults will bring
authenticity and colour to your writing.
Another way to reawaken your
inner child is to ask questions. Not
straightforward questions regarding
the time but ones that dabble with the
mysteries of life.
My daughter recently asked me why
doctors have children. Erm? I don’t know
the answer to this, or even what she
is driving at, but isn’t it a great quote?
It gives a glimpse into the way a child
thinks. It also inspires unusual story ideas.
It could be the opening line of a novel
about an infertile paediatrician.
Asking unanswerable questions is a way
of allowing yourself to play – with ideas as
well as words.
Don’t limit yourself to creative writing,
either, when encouraging your inner child.
Do something pointless.
Doodle instead of draw, cook treats
instead of nourishing meals.
When you next go for a walk, bring your
inner child with you to pick up attractive
pebbles, take photos of insects, kick
through piles of leaves.
Free yourself from what is normal,
expected or conventional. You may find
yourself reinvigorated. As Tom Stoppard
said: ‘If you carry your childhood with you,
you’ll never grow old.’
Focusing on the process rather than the
goal is central to the inner child. It’s also
key to achieving the state of flow that you
mention.
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
first identified flow as ‘the mental state of
operation in which a person performing
an activity is fully immersed in a feeling
of energised focus, full involvement and
enjoyment in the process of the activity.’
Children find this so easily – that tongue
poking out of the corner of their mouth as
they’re busy with colouring is a clear sign.
Let yourself imagine that the world is
new and fresh again to you, regardless of
the current situation, and discover that
childlike wonder within.
Tips to take away
■ Prompt your inquisitive nature by
thinking of 10 ‘what if?’ scenarios.
■ Look at old photo albums to remind
yourself of being a child – how you felt
about that school uniform and when you
thought that haircut was cool.
■ Take yourself out of your comfort zone
and try something new – children have to
do this all the time.
Writers’FORUM #228 59
02/12/2020 11:03:55
 AUTHOR KNOW-HOW
Research secrets
Caro Ramsay talks to Anita Loughrey about some of the
research techniques she has used for her crime novels
I
always like to do something
different with a book. In
the case of The Suffering of
Strangers and The Sideman
I wanted to try a story that
covered two novels that could
each be read as a standalone.
The springboard for the
narrative was already there
but the inspiration for the
main storyline came when
I was sitting on the side of a
Scottish mountain, in torrential
rain and gale force winds – it
was the height of summer
– watching a single walker
on the other side of the hill
tackling the West Highland
Way. I got the feeling the
walker was female. There was
nobody around, and in that
glen, you are a long way from
a mobile phone signal.
For The Sideman I knew
there had been a step up in the
presence of wildlife police on
Loch Lomond. That fact was
scribbled on a Post-it note on
my whiteboard. It turns out the
wallabies on the island were
being attacked by gangs, so it
was very useful that my young
student of environmental
studies signed up for wallaby
welfare and, while keeping
watch one night, finds more
than he bargains for…
For my research I first use
location visits – I time the
routes my characters will take
by foot or by car so I know
the journey exactly. Then I
use the internet, then online
newspapers. I’ve tried libraries
but end up with sinus trouble
from the dust.
With regard to research and
police procedural, well, it’s one
of the reasons I still do my day
job. As an osteopath I treat lots
of police and criminal lawyers.
I simply ask them and they
60 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN60researchoutlets.indd 60
tell me the truth, ie short
staffed, too much paperwork,
inter‑office politics.
My advice would be to ask
a lawyer about how the cops
work and vice versa, then you
tend to get the nitty-gritty.
Saying ‘I’m a novelist and I’d
like to know X, Y and Z’ will
get you the textbook version,
not what happens in reality.
It’s the mundane minutiae
that lend a sense of realism, not
the procedures being correct.
But I have been known to
fling a book at the wall when
I’ve made a huge error in
procedure just to make the plot
work. There was an occasion
when a paediatrician told me
loudly that the kid I’d put in a
cupboard would be dead before
he could be rescued.
I also did a Diploma in
Forensic Medical Science which
is for medics and lawyers to
understand forensic science in
court. It was fabulous to watch
them argue after the lectures.
They also take a case and pick
apart the forensic detail that
may have been contentious in
court. We know that a murder
I often drive
around in my
campervan and
look for body
deposition
sites
conviction can be secured
without a body being found,
but what about when the cause
of death is ‘unascertained’?
Setting
Location fires the imagination
for the story. I live on the west
coast of Scotland so the scenery
is very dramatic. But I steal
bits from elsewhere. I was in
Canada slowly walking along
the scrubby shore of Lake
Ontario when I realised my feet
were hitting something hard. I
kicked back some soil to reveal
a black and white tiled dance
floor. I knew immediately that
was going in a book.
A quick internet search and
a few questions in a local cafe
told me the sad story of the
hotel that used to stand there.
I promptly stole it and tucked it
up at Durness on the northwest
tip of Scotland for The Sideman.
Durness is a good example
of when to walk away from
research. I had planned to use
the huge Caves of Smoo and
went on a visit. The guide puts
on a light and you find yourself
standing in a huge cavern with
the ceiling glistening with
crystals, and you need to get
out before the tide comes too
far in. I set off with a camera
and notebook, thinking what
a great place it would be to
dump a body. There was a
gale, the rain was savage, the
waves were pounding… and
the caves were full of busloads
of tourists. It was busier than
Sauchiehall Street. So that plan
was shelved.
There’s a famous road in
Scotland called the Bealach na
Ba, the ‘pass of the cattle’. It
has hairpin bends at altitude,
steep drops and so on. The
top is like a moon landscape.
While having a coffee in a pub
close by I saw the insignia of
the SAS above the bar and a
little research told me they
did indeed train there, and
that’s an important part of The
Sideman story. I got somebody
to lie down at the top of the
pass and pretend to be dead!
I often drive around in my
campervan and look for body
deposition sites. I ask friends
to act dead in a setting, then I
move them around until they
can’t be seen.
Incidental research
My characters sort of come to
me and start telling me about
themselves. Sometimes near
the end of a book you realise
you’ve based a character on
02/12/2020 11:05:08

someone you know, but you
don’t design a character to fit
the plot, they walk into the
story independently and move
the narrative on. The character
then brings their own voice.
My advice would be to
have confidence in writing
how your character wants –
or demands – to be written.
The voice should not change
because of something that
happens. The character
should react in keeping with
that character. Chatting
to people, eavesdropping
on conversations, people-
watching, are all good ways to
inform your characters.
I often just talk to people I
meet, and everyone has a story.
I never conduct interviews or
use questionnaires, I simply
let them talk. You’ll get much
more out of them that way.
They will drift from telling
you what you want to know
to telling you what they find
interesting. Like the body of
the rich farmer found in a
field with a single blunt force
trauma to the forehead. He
was recently married to a
very young wife. The police
were suspicious, but forensics
revealed the culprit to be an
old ram. Just an unfortunate
headbutt…
I know a lady whose
14-year-old daughter walked
out the door to go to school
and has never been seen again.
The lady is now in her eighties
– that’s 60 years of birthdays,
Christmases, of there being
an empty place at the table.
She has always found family
weddings really difficult. Her
entire life has been ‘what if’.
Chatting to somebody else
about running, he happened
to mention he was stabbed and
WF228JAN60researchoutlets.indd 61
didn’t notice until he got home
and collapsed. His story, of
what he thought was a nudge
from an elbow in a crowd,
was used 10 years later in the
opening of The Red Red Snow.
Keep your ears open.
Good research peppers
the story with authenticity, it
should never be obvious. Bad
research bogs the story down.
The best tip is to ‘reverse
research’. Find out what you
need to know; use it; end of.
Keep away from the rabbit
hole of the internet. If the book
is set in December 1974, don’t
stop to see what was top of the
charts, as you will erode your
writing time watching clips of
Slade on YouTube.
Another good tip is to not
stop typing when you feel you
need a particular word. I type
in the word ‘wombat’ and get to
the end of the draft. I believe
Ian Rankin does the same but
he uses capitals. Then when
the draft is complete, do a ‘find’
and fill in the detail.
A useful tip for crime writers
is to get an online anatomy
atlas, they cost about £2, and
enable you to easily see where
the path of a knife or a bullet
would go.
Buy books of lovely Post-it
notes. Never be without
your notebook. Never throw
anything away. I am the
notebook queen – notebooks
and fountain pens. I also have
a really good camera which I
will take on a research trip. The
most inconsequential fact or
photo can percolate at the back
of a writer’s mind and become
the germ of a novel.
• Find out more about Caro
on Facebook, Twitter and at
caroramsay.com
LITERARY MARKETS
WRITING OUTLETS
with Janet Cameron
Lit mags outside the box
The Gravity of the Thing
patreon.com/thegravityofthething
This San Francisco-based title is
published quarterly in print, and
online on a rolling basis. Check the
specific reading periods on the site.
Their focus is on ‘defamiliarisation’
– writing the common in unfamiliar
ways to heighten perception.
Tip: They have a useful section
on the website ‘Baring the device’,
which will help unravel the concept of defamiliarisation.
Submissions: Send prose up to 3000 words; flash fiction
of 500 words; one or more poems to a maximum of 500
words; or a six-word story, up to six at a time. Submit via
their online submissions manager.
Foglifter
foglifterjournal.com
This LGBTQ+ bi-annual is avail-
able in print and electronically.
They are seeking submissions
that are cross-genre, intersec-
tional, marginal and transgres-
sive. The website has links to
examples of their favourite
writing. Next reading period is
from 1 March to 1 May.
Tip: They love daring but thoughtful work.
Submissions: One submission only per reading period.
Send three to five poems, a fiction story up to 7500 words
or three flash-fiction pieces. Title your submission with the
title of your work and include a 50-word bio in your cover
letter. Use their online Submittable to contribute.
A-Minor
aminormagazine.com
The magazine is published online in
January and September, plus there
is a regular anniversary issue. Their
site is easy to use, with links to past
issues for an idea of what they like.
Tip: The A-minor scale gives fla-
vour and emotion to music, adding
depth that can make a mediocre
piece moving and distinct from others. If you apply that con-
cept to writing, you will be on their radar.
Submissions: Paste work into the body of an email with
a 50-word bio. Send one story of 1000-4000 words, up to
three flash fictions of up to 1000 words, or three to five
poems. Email aminormagazine@gmail.com
• Janet’s book Eighteen Amazing Women Philosophers is
available as an ebook from Amazon and in paperback.
Writers’FORUM #228 61
02/12/2020 11:05:21
 COMP CALENDAR
Competitive Edge
HIGHS AND LOWS
OF NOVEL COMPS
Self-published author PA Davies
shares his competition experiences
I’ve been writing since 2008
– thrillers, fact-based fiction
and the like – and have self-
published six books that are faring
quite well. I decided to go down
the self-publishing route when
the amount of rejection letters
coming through my door was in
danger of wiping out rainforests.
I’ve entered a grand total of
two novel-writing contests, but
those two experiences subjected
me to an emotional rollercoaster.
What I came to realise is that
entering any competition requires
two major commitments from the
author: research and revision.
Research basically refers to
finding out the requirements
and submission dates of a given
competition – preferably before
the closing date – and following
those guidelines to the letter.
The revision part comes into
play when, through whatever
reason, you miss the closing date
of a competition and have to
wait until the next one. That is
the ideal time for revision. Is the
storyline worthy of a prize? Do
I need to polish up the chapters
or check the grammar? You might
surprise yourself at the amount
of times you gasp and exclaim:
‘Wow, was I really going to send
this off like this?’ I know I did.
When I’d completed my second
novel, the idea of entering it into
a comp couldn’t have been further
from my mind; filed away in that
section of my brain entitled
Phobias, under the sub-section
How to avoid disappointment. That
was until I received a phone call
62 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN62compedgeREV.indd 62
from a friend who told me about
a writing competition that had
just been announced on a popular
morning TV programme. The
brief was to write one chapter
and submit it. The prize was a
publishing deal and an advance to
finish the tale. My interest was
piqued by the fact that one of the
judges was author Jackie Collins.
I wrote a chapter and submitted
the piece. Within six weeks I
received a letter to say it had
made it through to the next
stage. Elation! But less than a
fortnight later I received the news
that it had been unsuccessful in
progressing. Deflation…
Regardless, I went on to finish
the book anyway – The Good in
Mister Philips – which has been
received well and been graced
with five-star reviews. And
therein lies the bonus of entering
a competition that I didn’t win.
With my novel George: A
gentleman of the road, I entered
and won another competition
some years later: The People’s
Choice Award. The prize was not
monetary – all that was presented
for the win was a picture of a
gold cup that could be added to
one’s website, and the status of
being book of the month on the
organiser’s web page.
To me, that was one of the
proudest moments in my writing
career – because my book had
been read and judged to be
the best by the best judges,
the general public.
• Find out more at padavies.co.uk
COMPS CLOSING SOON
31 DEC
River Styx
Microfiction Contest
Flash fiction: 500 words max.
Rules: up to three stories per
entry fee; additional stories wel-
come with additional fees. Fee:
$15 (includes a copy of the maga-
zine in which the results will be
published) or $20 (with a one-year
subscription). Prize: publication.
Details: see www.riverstyx.org/
submit/microfiction-contest/
Moth Poetry Prize
Poem: no line limit. Fee: £15 per
poem. Prizes: £6000; 3 x runner-
up prizes of £1000 each; 8 x £250
for commended poems. Details:
see www.themothmagazine.com
1 JAN
Sunspot Lit: Culmination
Ending of piece of prose or
poem: max 250 words for prose;
max 25 words for poetry. Rules:
no restrictions on category or
length of piece from which ending
is excerpted; one piece per sub-
mission. Fee: $5. Prize: $500
cash plus publication for the win-
ner. Details: see sunspotlit.
submittable.com/submit/176040/
culmination-50 0 -for-a-prose -
poem-or-art-ending
Exeter Novel Prize
Novel: first 10,000 words and
synopsis. Rules: open to cur-
rently unagented authors world-
wide; novel must not have been
accepted by a traditional publish-
ing house; entry must be the
opening of the novel; no children’s
books. Fee: £18. Prizes: £500;
5 x £100. Details: see www.
creativewritingmatters.co.uk
6 JAN
Henshaw Short Story
Competition
Short story: max 2000 words.
Rules: open to entrants aged 16
02/12/2020 11:17:57
 Send your success stories, questions and tips to Caroline at comps@writers-forum.com
compiled by
Caroline Vincent
Food and drink must be at
the centre of your story for
the £10,0000 Mogford Prize,
run by an Oxford hotel group
and over; entries must not have
been published before the submis-
sion date. Fee: £6 (add £12 for
optional critique). Prizes: £200;
£100; £50; plus publication in next
Henshaw Anthology. Details: see
www.henshawpress.co.uk
13 JAN
Mogford Food & Drink
Short Story Prize
Short story: max 2500 words.
Rules: over-18s; story must never
have been (self-)published, broad-
cast or existed in any online loca-
tion. Theme: food and drink
must be at the heart of the story.
Fee: £15, of which part will go to
the charity Pen International.
Prizes: £10,000, plus story read
by an actor and uploaded to the
Storyplayer website; 3 x £500.
Details: see www.mogfordprize.
co.uk/how-to-enter
16 JAN
NAWG’s Winter 100x100
Competition
Microfiction: max 100 words.
Fee: £3; £5 for two entries.
Prize: £100. Details: see www.
nawg.co.uk/competitions
26 JAN
Ó Bhéal Five Words
Poetry Competition
Poem: max 50 lines in total.
Rules: must include the week’s
five words and should be newly
written during the relevant seven-
day period; new five words each
week until 26 Jan. Fee: €5 per
WF228JAN62compedgeREV.indd 63
poem. Prizes: €750; €500; €250;
plus winners will be invited to read
at Ó Bhéal’s anniversary event on
12 April 2021; additional travel fee
of €100 plus B&B accommodation
provided (subject to physical event
taking place). Details: see www.
obheal.ie/blog/five-words-poetry-
competition
31 JAN
Kent and Sussex Poetry
Society Open Competition
Poem: under 40 lines. Fee: £5
each; £4 each for three or more.
Prizes: £1000; £300; £100; 4 x
£50. Details: see kentandsussex-
poetr y.com /t he - kent-sussex-
poetry-society-open-competition
1 FEB
Accenti Writing Contest
Fiction/non-fiction/crea-
tive non-fiction: max 2000
words. Rules: no poetry, plays,
reviews or scholarly essays; no
foot- or end-notes; no pseudo-
nyms; multiple entries allowed.
Fee: $30. Prizes: CAN$1000;
3 x CAN$100; publication in
Accenti. Details: see accenti.ca/
writing-contest/rules
12 FEB
Writers’ & Artists’
Short Story Competition
Short story: max 2000 words.
Rules: open to both published
and aspiring writers. Theme:
open but should be written for
Continued overleaf
▲
02/12/2020 11:18:09
 COMP CALENDAR Listings should be sent three months in advance to comps@writers-forum.com

Essential Books for Writers Continued from page 63

The Crime Writers’
Association’s Debut Dagger

NEW By Alison Baverstock adults. Fee: FREE. Prize: place

Marketing Your Book:
An Author’s Guide
How to target agents,
publishers and readers
‘A rich source of information
for people trying to navigate
their way through the
process of how to get
their book noticed.’
Rebecca Swift,
The Literary Consultancy
2nd edition • £11.99 • 9-780713-673838
Is There a Book in You?
Foreword by columnist and
writer Katharine Whitehorn
£8.99 • 9-780713-679328
Available from bookshops or to order direct
call 01256 302699 or visit: www.acblack.com
TARGET YOUR MARKET
THROUGH
THE PAGES OF
on an Arvon Residential Writing
Course (estimated value £1000),
publication on Writers’ & Artists’
website. Details: www.writers-
andartists.co.uk/competitions
14 FEB
Spotlight First Novel
Competition
Entry: one-page synopsis of a
novel of max 550 pages, plus first
page of ms. Rules: open to un-
published or self-published authors
worldwide; winner should be pre-
pared to submit their novel by the
beginning of April 2021. Genre:
all genres. Fee: £16. Prize: pro-
fessional input worth up to £1270
including a mentoring package,
manuscript appraisal and devel-
opment strategy. Details: see
adventuresinfiction.co.uk/spot-
light-1st-novel
26 FEB
CWA Debut Dagger Award
Fiction: opening of a crime novel
or thriller up to 3000 words and a
synopsis of up to 1500 words.
Rules: open to anyone who is
unagented and previously unpub-
lished (self-publishing excepted);
the novel does not need to be
complete. Fee: £36. Prizes:
£500; shortlisted authors receive
professional assessment and entry
a coherent plot and satisfying end-
ing. Fee: FREE. Prize: publica-
tion in the latest edition of the
Nonsensically Challenged Anthology,
all profits from which go to the
Daisy Garland charity. Details:
see www.christopherfielden.com/
writing-challenges/nonsense-writ-
ing-challenge.php
Reflex Quarterly
International Flash Fiction
Competition
Flash fiction: between 180 and
360 words. Rules: no fan-fiction,
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64 Writers’FORUM #228

WF228JAN62compedgeREV.indd 64 02/12/2020 11:18:21


Tales of my GURU
In which the mystery mentor urges us to focus and have fun
I
was in my favourite hotel, which is just
far enough from home for my wife not
to hear the blast of a chap’s trumpet;
and I was sitting astonished at the
emptiness of the place – only a scattering
of waitresses being present, and no
customers but myself.
So I raised a nod at my favourite waitress
and she wiggled close, leaned an adoring
glance on me, and served coffee.
She toddled off giggling just as Mr
Graham arrived armed with Apricot Flan
(who is not a pudding but a young member
of my writers’ group possessing eyelashes
that could sweep you off your feet) and her
chum, Tiny D’Lite, the ginger-kitten girl
who is as beautiful as Apricot Flan and my
favourite waitress put together.
They sat with me looking rather
bewildered while Mrs Halburton-Smythe
and grumbling Jim Grunt appeared (also
members of my writers’ group) seeming
equally bewildered; and all of them looked
at me as if I knew something.
But I didn’t, so I shrugged, then we all
settled back: as another presence arrived
bringing with him serenity and certainty.
Those of you who have read this page
before will realise that my Guru had
entered in his usual way: that is, nobody
noticed him, nor would they notice him
unless he wished it, but everyone felt his
beneficent influence.
My Guru is my eternal advisor in matters
of creative writing.
‘I have noticed,’ began my Guru –
Waitresses delivered teas and coffees
and cakes all round, then stood within my
Guru’s aura as if waiting for something.
I said, automatically echoing my Guru’s
words: ‘I have noticed…’
And Mrs Halburton-Smythe said: ‘Ah,’
as if she was no longer bewildered, and
that this meeting had been arranged,
which was why there were no customers;
and everybody nodded.
So I said again: ‘I have noticed –’
And every word I said after that actually
came from my Guru.
‘– that we, as a group, are missing
something in our writing. Please take out
your instruments. As you can see, I have
my piano.’ And I raised my hands over an
imaginary piano.
Jim Grunt produced his imaginary
trumpet (which my wife would not hear)
WF228JAN65guru.indd 65
by Hugh Scott
It requires a keen
ear, an instant grasp
of what every other
instrument is doing
and the others, including the waitresses,
produced other imaginary instruments.
‘We are going to play a traditional jazz
version of The World is Waiting for the
Sunrise. Begin!’
I want you to understand that I can’t
play the piano, and I guessed that most of
those present couldn’t play their chosen
instruments either; but this didn’t matter
because we were here to learn about
writing. We began.
Cacophony reigned.
‘No, no,’ I said unnecessarily. ‘Again.’
And we began again, Jim Grunt’s
trumpet ringing surprisingly true, Mrs
Halburton-Smythe’s cheeks puffed out like
balloons behind her clarinet; and the noise
was almost tremendous – or would have
been if the instruments had been real.
We got through a thirty-second version
of the tune before everybody shrieked
with laughter, and until I blinked solemnly
at them.
‘Focus,’ I said, and they focused. ‘One,
two, three, four!’
And we blasted out a not bad rendering
considering how mad this meeting was.
LIKELY STORIES
‘Well, done!’ I said, and we all gulped
coffee, and filled our mouths with cake –
which wasn’t a good idea, as you will see.
If you don’t like trad jazz, you may
think that everybody plays a different
tune all at the same time but not all
with the same timing. It requires a keen
ear, and an instant grasp of what every
other instrument is doing; this results
in a wonderful intelligent jumble of
piping, beating, rumbling, squeaking and
thumping; more delightful and more fun
than any other form of music.
‘But it requires focus,’ I said. My
favourite waitress sat beside me and
trinkled melodiously on my piano.
‘Please don’t do that,’ I said, and she fell
off her chair laughing. ‘Focus is essential.
‘I have noticed,’ I said, for the third
time, ‘that your writing is lacking
somewhat in focus.’
Cake remained poised at mouths.
‘You can all write. You know within
yourselves how good or how not quite so
good your writing is. I want you to write
with the focused energy that you put into
The World is Waiting for the Sunrise.
‘Most of us know little about music
or how to play an instrument, but by
charging into it without caring about
technicalities, without a thought about
what any outsider thinks, without
worrying or fussing or remembering what
we were taught as children – however
recently –’ I looked at Tiny D’Lite ‘– or
however long ago –’ I glanced at Mr
Graham. ‘Well… you focused only on
creating the music.’
I paused.
‘And,’ I cried, ‘weren’t we great! And
this is the lesson to be learned! Focus
totally on creating your story. Enjoy every
note – I mean – every word that rings
true on the page; every phrase, every bit
of fun, every little juggling of words that
delights your mind. Every magical bite of
imagination! Are you with me?’
‘Yow!’
So we played it again, and every last one
of the silly asses sprayed the hotel with
cake crumbs.
Use it or lose it
‘Trinkled’ simply came to my fingertips. It
seemed right. As far as I know, no one has ever
used it before. Please feel free.
Writers’FORUM #228 65
02/12/2020 11:06:08
 WRITING ROOMS
Where I write
Phil Barrington visits the west coast of Scotland to
chat to children’s writer Robin Scott-Elliot
S
even years ago we moved to Scotland.
After twenty years in London, for
me it was going home. For Karen, my
partner and my two daughters it was a
leap into the unknown.
I claimed the sunroom built on the side
of the house as my space. The wifi signal
doesn’t reach here, which is ideal because
it stops me idling away the hours online
when I’m supposed to be working. I share
the room with Lola, my youngest’s rabbit.
When she’s not leaping around, she lies
in the dog bed by my chair. Our dog, cat
and guinea pig spend time in here as well.
So I’m never alone!
Sometimes I’ll take a notebook and
scribble away while my daughters, Iona
and Torrin, have swimming or dancing
lessons. But my handwriting is dire, so
often I can’t actually read it back.
I don’t usually have a problem writing
when others are around – as a sports
writer I’ve become used to writing and
66 Writers’FORUM #228
WF228JAN66writingroom.indd 66
filing copy from noisy stadiums with
plenty going on. But I can get grumpy if
someone comes into my room when I’m
in the middle of a scene, when my mind
is India in 1857, or wherever the story is,
and suddenly I’m dragged back to the
here and now because the dog’s eaten
someone’s homework.
I like having books around me. Some
haven’t been opened in years but they’re
part of my story. I’ve kept all my sports
books from my time as a journalist,
including three chunky Olympic reference
books. I was lucky enough to cover
two summer and one winter Olympics,
and one Paralympics. Reporting on the
London Paralympics was one of the most
life-affirming things I’ve done.
My chapter plan is on the laptop but
notes and prompts are taped to the
shelves. I like ideas, themes, background
or historical info in front of me so I can stir
them into the story as I go. I’m working on
a novel based on Robert Louis Stevenson
writing Treasure Island as seen through the
eyes of his stepson. It is set in Braemar, so
there’s a map of the village on my desk. I
love a book that starts with a map, like my
first, The Tzar’s Curious Runaways.
Ninety percent of my latest book, The
Acrobats of Agra, was written in my room,
five percent in the cafe of Helensburgh
swimming pool and five percent in my
head in the middle of the night when I
woke and couldn’t get back to sleep.
I’m fortunate to have this room. When
the sun shines, the wind rustles in the
trees and the birds sing it’s a calming and
wonderful place to write. When the wind
howls and rain splatters on the windows
I feel cocooned in my special place. My
eldest recently said she loves the sound of
rain on the window. It makes her feel snug,
safe and warm in her room. That captures
it perfectly. I’ve the space and surrounds to
help me disappear into my story.
02/12/2020 11:06:47
 .
WF156-68.indd 68 09/09/2014 15:27:53
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WF228-68.indd 68 01/12/2020 14:02:16