OFFICE OF DUO THE OWL

5900 PENN AVE, PITTSBURGH, PA, 12345

Fax: (123)123-1234 Ph: (123)123-1234

To Whom It May Concern,

Upon careful examination, I have determined this patient is suffering from an acute case
of strigiformophobia, which is a rare disease caused by exposure to novel linguistics.

Symptoms include:
Sweating, fever, chills
Chronic paranoia over fulfilling daily responsibilities
A concerning, borderline pathological fixation with Dua Lipa
Emotional distress from seeing corporate mascots in bikinis
Uncontrollable diarrhea

Due to _________________’s ___-day streak, I recommend they refrain from strenuous

activities or anything remotely productive. Instead, they should consider indulging in a gentle,
restorative daily routine of completing fun, bite-sized lessons on Duolingo.

Please consider this individual excused from any other obligations. Failure to adhere to this
medical advice may result in an aggressive legal action from our local injury attorney,
Peter Francis Menchetti (Menchetti & Sons LLC.), and nobody wants that.

Best,
Dr. Duo