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Titanic
Jokes
Why did Titanic leave its date?
He couldn't brake the ice
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Why is it that there are no subtitles

for the last 15 minutes of "Titanic"?
A good caption always goes down with the ship.
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What does a Travis Scott concert

and the Titanic have in common?
The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
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What’s the diTerence between the

Titanic and your mom?
They know how many men went down on the
titanic.
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Now that the movie Titanic is 25

years old
Leo has completely lost interest in it.
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What type of salad did they serve on

the Titanic?
Iceberg lettuce.
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My grandfather warned people that

the Titanic would sink
No one listened, but he kept on warning them
nonetheless until they got sick of him and
kicked him out of the movie theatre
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After the iceberg collision, the

captain of the Titanic gathers the
crew and tells them "I have bad
news and good news."
"The bad news is that our ship has began to
sink.

The good news is that we shall win eleven

Academy Awards."
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Leonardo DiCaprio has pledged to

never watch the Titanic movie again
ever..
Why you ask? Beacause it's turning 25 this year..
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TIL that my Grandfather actually

warned people that the Titanic was
going to sink…
Despite his constant attempts, unfortunately
nobody listened, and he ended up getting
kicked out of the movie theatre
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What do The Titanic and The 6th

Sense have in common?
Icy dead people
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Titanic.
Sorry, that was a terrible icebreaker.
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What do you get when you cross the

ocean with the Titanic?
Halfway.
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The movie Titanic turns 25 later this

year.
In related news, Leonardo DiCaprio said he is no
longer interested in seeing it.
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What's the diTerence between

Titanic and The Wolf Of Wall Street?
Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend was potty trained
when The Wolf Of Wall Street came out.
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What do you call a dinosaur that is

large, immense, huge, collosal,
gigantic, vast, enormous, titanic,
massive and big?
A thesaurus.
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This joke may contain profanity.

I am over 18

What did the titanic say as it was

sinking...
I nominate all passengers for the ice bucket
challenge.
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Cinco de Mayo and the Titanic

Most people don't know that back in 1912,
Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in
England .

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of

the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera
Cruz, Mexico , which was to be the next port of
call for the great ship after its stop in New York ..
... read more

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What type of burger isn't allowed on

the titanic?
An iceburger
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My Grandfather knew that the

Titanic was going to sink.
He kept telling everyone but they just ignored
him. In the end, they threw him out of the
cinema.
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Titanic jokes aren't funny anymore.

They're so old and outdated.
That ship has sailed a long time ago.
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I renamed my iPod The Titanic

When I plug it in, it says "The Titanic is syncing".
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I watched a documentary on how

they built the hull of the Titanic last
night....
It was riveting.
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This joke may contain profanity.

I am over 18

If Trump were captain of the RMs

Titanic
Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic:

There isn't any iceberg.

There was an iceberg but it's in a totally
diTerent ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very
soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg.
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be ...
read more

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Did you hear about Haley Joel

Osment being cast in the Titanic
remake?
The most iconic line will be Icy Dead People.
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I'm new here and I just have to tell

you all: "Titanic!"
--oh, wait that's not a good ice breaker
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My Grandpa saw the Titanic

From the very beginning, he warned everyone
that the ship would sink. But nobody listen to
him.

He was a brave man, he never gave up. He warn

them again and again on many occasions... Until
they kick him out from the cinema.
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This joke may contain profanity.

I am over 18

My grandpa warned people the

Titanic would sink and no one
listened.
He kept warning them until they got sick of it
and kicked him out of the theater.

*Thanks for my erst gold kind stranger! But

please consider donating to your local food
bank or another worthy cause instead of
rewarding this stupid joke that was (according
to sources) reposted.
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This joke may contain profanity.

I am over 18

Titanic jokes never get old.

Just like Jack.
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If your body was the size of the

Atlantic ocean, your red blood cells
would be the size of the Titanic
Let that sink in
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A magician performs magic tricks on

the Titanic before it sinks.
In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow
always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his
sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false
bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two
girls!"
<... read more

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I downloaded all the music to the

movie Titanic.
It's syncing now.
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My grandad predicted that the

Titanic would sink
He went to great pains to try and alert everyone.
Sadly no one would listen. He told people in
authority, middle-management and even the
every-day punters who bought tickets. He was
silenced from every corner in spite of all the
evidence he put forward. Eventually he was
forcibly removed from the ci... read more

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Did you hear about the Cop who

arrested an innocent Iceberg
because he thought it looked like
the one that sunk the Titanic?
He was ered for Glacial Proeling.
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I went into the local library and

asked if they had any books on the
Titanic. "Oh yes, quite a few." the
librarian said.
"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all
be ruined by now!"
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Did you know in 1998 Titanic

overtook Jurassic Park to become
the highest grossing elm of all time?
I guess the Titanic can’t survive an iceberg but it
can beat a Spielberg.
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I just found out that my great

grandfather was on the Titanic.
And as far as I know, he still is !!
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What's the diTerence between my

ex and the titanic?
The titanic only went down on 1,000 people
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Ok what’s the diTerence between

the Titantic and California?
At least the lights were on when the Titanic
sank.

Thank you, tip your bartenders ladies and

gents…..
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My friend with a lisp has a strong

opinion on the Titanic II
As he put it, they're doing the unsinkable!
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This joke may contain profanity.

I am over 18

This joke may contain profanity.

I am over 18

What do you call a giant who

drowned in the sea
A titanic

Note: not sure if titan and giant are the same

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What passengers were happy that

the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
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This joke may contain profanity.

I am over 18

My grandfather tried to warn them

about the Titanic...
He screamed and shouted about the iceberg
and how the ship was going to sink, but all they
did was throw him out of the theater...
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The titanic went down in 60 seconds

Let that sink in for a minute
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Even though the Titanic was not a

marvel of engineering
the pools are. Been up and running without
maintenance since the day they were opened.
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The true reason that the Titanic

sank...
The combined weight of all the time travelers
that suddenly appeared onboard.
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An amarican and a canadian wants

to watch a movie together
American: Lets watch Titanic

Canadian: What's that about?

American: Yes, it was. A big one that sank!

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Why is Texas like the Titanic

They both thought they were amazing until a
tiny bit of frozen water broken them in half
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My Grandfather saw the Titanic. He

shouted loudly to all within earshot
"that ship is going to sink!". He was
ignored. But he kept it up "Mark my
words. That ship will sink on her
maiden voyage!"
Eventually the ushers threw him out of the
theater.
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Imagine the Titanic with a Lisp

It's unthinkable
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If you want to stay well connected,

just take all your devices aboard the
Titanic.
They'll sync really well...
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Onboard the Titanic...

While cruising aboard the Titanic, an engineer
boasts to his dinner companions, "This ship is so
seaworthy that even God can't sink her!"

Overhearing what the engineer said, God

started laughing so hard that he spilled his glass
of water and ice cubes went kying everywhere.
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My grandfather predicted that the

Titanic would sink.
He tried to warn everyone that it was going to
sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the
good man that he was, he kept on urging people
to heed his warning, right up until he was
escorted out of the movie theatre by security.
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What does an iPhone 7 and The

Titanic have in common?
The end has no Jack.
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My Canadian friend asks me to

recommend a move.
Me: "Have you seen Titanic?"
 Him: "What's it about?"

Me: "Yeah, a really big one. And it sinks."

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I'm trying to stream Titanic

But it keeps syncing
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I'm not sure how much you know

about the story of the Titanic...
...but what caused it to sink is just the tip of the
iceberg.
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Historians have proved that people

with every zodiac sign survived the
sinking of the Titanic...
Except Leo
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I remembered watching Titanic and

bawled my eyes out.
It's because the painting scene with Rose was
too short.
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A man is standing on the bow of the

Titanic as it is sinking, holding a
glass of whiskey.
He says: "I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous"
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I'm getting revenge for the Titanic

One ice-cube in my drink at a time.
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the world’s best cloud storage

service was released today, called
Titanic.
It’s always synching
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Did you know Avatar is a sequel to

Titanic?
It picks up where Titanic left oT, in the sense
that half the cast is blue and dying.

Obligatory edit: Frontpage on /r/jokes! Wohooo!

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This joke may contain profanity.

I am over 18

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.

It's syncing now.
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Titanic sank 103 years ago...

...making it the only thing your mom didn't go
down on! Hi-YO!
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I hate to sound like a conspiracy

theorist here, but are we truly to
believe that the Titanic sunk after
being hit by an iceberg?! Do they
think we're stupid fools!?
I've been throwing lettuce at the window for
hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let
alone put a hole in it.
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Everyone has a elm that made them

emotional.
For me it was TITANIC... Because not only do
you get a beautiful love story, but also... I'm was
like... \*emotional\*

"Look - So many fans of the Wim Hof Method!"

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What did the iceberg say to the

Titanic after if enally got outta the
way?
Sank you
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[Titanic, 1912]
**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want
on your sandwich?

**First mate:** ICEBERG!

**Captain:** lol... no need to shout, Dave.

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TIL the pool on the titanic is still

elled with water to this day.
Oh wait...
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I am over 18

I like to talk about the Titanic

whenever i meet someone new
To break the ice
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What kind of coTee was served on

the Titanic
Sanka
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The Titanic disaster happened 106

years ago today...
Just let that sink in
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