We were planning to go to the subdivision you live in, the thought of it made

it really hard for me to fall asleep. Whenever

I did, I would immediately wake up. In the silence of the night, you were the only
thing that filled my head, remembering the times
that we were together made me calm. I wished I could've dreamt of you, seeing you
in my dreams makes me happy, the way I can get close
and talk to you how ever many times I want without worrying about anything.
Thinking about your sweet, sweet smile, made me happy.
The way you are so confident makes me envious of you, but, that is exactly why I am
so into you. Confidence really does make a
person more attractive.

The time came, we went to the place we planned to go to in order to practice.

My mind did not have the thought of practicing though.
On my way there, I was constantly thinking about if/how I'd be able to see you,
hoping you'd come yourself, knowing that you like to
socialize and maybe you'd be there. I got to the place, you weren't there, how
dissapointed I was. While practicing, our leader often
stop and try to think up of something. So, while he was doing such, I found a
chance to slip out, to explore the subdivision, hoping to wind
up at your place. Walking and walking, searching for your house but I couldn't see
you anywhere, such left me in despair. Time passed
by, it came lunch time, the group was thinking of where we were going to eat and
what. We decided to go to my leader's house, our
leader cooked inside while we were outside. While waiting, I saw you looking at us,
a quick look was all it took for me to recognize
you, the way you walked, your hair, your ponytail, I immediately thought that it
was you. A glance was all I could, you, with your
friend, was walking quite fast and left my sight in a flash. It didn't matter, I
was overjoyed, I giggled and my friend heard me
"are you crazy?" my friend said. I did not bother to reply, my head was filled of
you. I was holding back my smile, scared of my teeth
showing. Though, deep inside I was over the moon. You and your friend came back, I
stole a really quick glance, scared of you catching me
looking, I quickly took my eyes back. Looking at the floor, thinking about how
beautiful you are. Afterwards, regret filled my head, being too
scared and not being able to admire you longer made me hate myself. The usual
scared me, not courageous enough to look at you for
even just 5 seconds if we aren't talking, it makes me despise me. I wish to talk to
you first "Risks are meant to be taken", despite of
knowing this, I cannot bring myself to. Always thinking about how I'm not worthy of
you, always thinking about how ugly I am, always being
shy, not knowing how to initiate conversations or not knowing how to keep
conversations longer, I hate this about me.

You are out of my league but I wish to be able to see you again, I wish to
talk to you again, to be able to talk to you
longer and I wish for you to notice me and think of me as a man. I go to school
everyday not to study but to look at and admire you.
Just then, two of my friends were acting all lovey dovey and honestly I was
envious, I wish that that could've been us but I know that
you only treat me as a friend. Your personality really is the friendly type and it
makes me sad that you see me as nothing but
a friend, but, its fine, I don't need you to like me back for me to continue to
admire you, I will always do, for better or for
worse.

My groupmates were leaving so I had to leave as well. While walking back, I

was still searching for your house, I couldn't see it
anywhere, I couldn't see you anywhere. I left dissapointed, but, knowing that I am
going to see you again at school makes me cheerful.
Though our seats are probably further apart once it is rearranged, its ok, as long
as I get to be able to look at you whenever.
I like you and I hope you don't change. I like you for the way you are. Whatever
secrets you have, I promise I won't react negatively.
I fell inlove for who you are, secrets are a part of you, that is you, and my
feelings won't change.

I am crazy... but only for you...