10 Lies the World Tells You

Doesn't it feel like older generations have banded together1 just to let you know
how terrible life is going to be after college? You hear it from the striped polo shirt 2 and
khaki3wearing dads who stroll4 campus during homecoming5, telling tales of their collegiate
glory days to anyone who'll listen. You hear it from the doom-and-gloom6 newscasters7
talking about the bleak8 job market for recent grads. You hear it from professors who snidely9
remark that there are no bonus points for participation in the "real world."
10. "You'll Be Married in 5 Years."
Even though we live in progressive times, people still imagine themselves being married by the
time they hit their late 20s. If you follow suit10, you could wake up one day and find that the spark
is gone, or you could be transferred to Anchorage for work and realize that your relationship can't
take11 the distance. At any moment, you can find yourself thrust12 back into the dating scene.
Many of your friends will still be single, and with the ever-increasing divorce rate, you'll find that
new friends are joining you in bachelorhood13 every day. By the time you're 30, you'll have the
same size dating pool14 you had when you were 20.
9. "Your Major Matters."
The majority of the workforce won't end up in careers that have anything to do with their major. In
fact, a recent study found that half of recent grads will take jobs that don't even require a degree.
Your undergraduate major likely won't be the key to a lucrative15 professional life. Even fields with
tangible16 job opportunities often require graduate work for the best positions. You can let this
news depress you, or you can allow it to liberate you.
8. "These Were the Best Four Years of Your Life."
We hope not. From being excluded from fraternity parties and gaining the freshman fifteen when
you arrive, to being so busy writing theses17 your senior18 year that you have no time to explore life
around, college is rough19. You are guaranteed to live in an awful apartment. Your dining
options20 are limited to "buffet21 style" and "a la carté22." You're required to take classes you
don't like, taught by bitter23 jerks24 who don't like you because you don't understand their
obscure25 field.

1 об'єднувати(ся); збиратися (часто to band together)

2 ['pəuləu,ʃəːt] поло (чоловічаспортивна сорочка з короткими рукавами, теніска з
трикотажної тканини)
3 ['kaːkı] хакі (тканина захисного кольору);(польова) вій ськова форма
4 [strəul] прогулюватися; проходжуватися
5 амер. вечір зустрічі випускників (університету)
6 песимістичний , занепадницький ; a general feeling of pessimism or despondency: the
national feeling of doom and gloom
7 ['njuːz,kaːstə] диктор; радіокоментатор, телекоментатор
8 [bliːk] сумний , безрадісний
9 [snaıd] підроблений , фальшивий
10 ['suːt,'sjuːt] follow suit – карт. іти в масть; слідувати чий омeсьприкладу,
чинити так само, як і хтось; (in bridge, whist, and other card
games) play a card of the suit led; conform to another's actions: Spain
cut its rates by half a percent but no other country has
followed suit.
11 переборювати, долати, витримувати, переносити
12 [θrʌst] штовхати; тикати; засовувати, всовувати
13 ['bæʧ(ə)ləhud] холостяцьке життя
14 спільний фонд; об'єднані ресурси
15 ['luːkrətıv] вигідний ; дохідний ,прибутковий
16 ['tænʤəb(ə)l] відчутний (на дотик); реальний
17 ['θiːsıs] ( pl theses) дисертація
18 амер. випускний , останній (про клас, курс, семестр)
19 суворий ,важкий (про життя); rough luck розм. — гірка доля; невдача, невезіння;
to have a rough time — терпіти злидні (погане ставлення)
20 ['ɒpʃ(ə)n] вибір; варіант
21 ['bufeı] буфет
22 /ɑːləˈkɑːrt/loan phrase meaning "according to the menu." ... The phrase is used
in reference to a menu of items priced and ordered separately, i.e.,
the usual operation of restaurants.
23 ['bıtə] лютий (про мороз тощо); запеклий (про ворога); затятий , закоренілий
24 бовдур, нікчема
25 [əb'skjuə] неясний , незрозумілий , химерний
That's much worse than living where you want, with who you want, how you want for the rest
of your life. If these are the best four years of your life, we truly pity you.
7. "Your GPA Matters."
Your GPA does matter...until you get your first job or internship. From that point on, no matter
how cliché it is, it truly will be about "who you know." A prospective employer wants to know
two things: 1) "Will they do good work?" and 2) "Will they do it on time?"
Yes, good grades are one indicator of this, but an even better indicator is someone they know
calling them and vouching26 for you. If you're going to go after the grades, do it for yourself, not
for your future boss who dropped out of community college27.
Exception to the rule: If you're applying to grad school, your undergrad GPA matters. After
you graduate, the above577 once again applies.
6. "You'll Never Make Any Money with that Degree."
Not even your professors know the full utility28 of the skills you've learned in school. Theatrical
set designers have become wealthy interior decorators. Philosophy majors have become successful
consultants. Studio art majors who design corporate logos29 can earn fat paychecks. Many of the
highest paying jobs of today didn't even exist when your parents were in school.
Of course, odds are that a degree in accounting is more profitable than a degree in experimental
theatre, but let's face the facts: you would have made a terrible accountant. Also, the odds of
seeing your classmates naked are decidedly higher in experimental theatre.
5. "Things Will Only Get Harder in the Real World."
Not necessarily. The thing about the "real world" is that there are infinite30 choices, and the results
are different for everyone. Sure, there are the needling31 issues of feeding and clothing yourself,
but that doesn't mean that life after matriculation32 is a downhill slide33.
There are no more general education requirements, no more homework, and you no longer have to
see people you don't want to see. Sure, your job might suck34, but you can always get a new job. See
how much easier things are now?
4. "If You Work Hard, You'll Succeed."
You are going to meet people who have worked hard their entire lives and never found success.
They may have contentment35 in a way that a Fortune 50036 CEO37 could only dream of, but by the
superficial38 standards of society, they have not succeeded. The jazz musician who is still
playing anonymously in clubs after forty years gigging39, the art teacher who exhibits at the gallery

26 [vauʧ] поручитися (за - for)

27 місцевий ("муніципальний ") коледж. Дворічний середній спеціальний навчальний заклад,
навчання в якому фінансується місцевою владою і розраховане на
задоволення місцевих потреб у фахівцях середньої кваліфікації. 577

вищезазначене
28 [ju'tılətı] корисність; вигідність
29 ['lɔgəu] логотип; фірмова символіка
30 ['ınfınıt] нескінченний , безмежний
31 ['niːdl] терзати, докучати, терзати, дратувати; Bill could see he had needled
Jerrold. — Білл бачив, що він розсердив Джеральда.
32 [mə,trıkju'leıʃ(ə)n] зарахування до вищого навчального закладу
33 an state of gradual decay as for a person, thing, company or other entity.
When an organization cuts maintenance, it is on a downhill slide.
34 амер.; розм. ; грубо. (smb / smth sucks) викликати сильну відразу Classical music
sucks. - Від класичної музики нудить. I think this really sucks. -
Як на мене це повний відстій . This job sucks. - Ця робота повне
лай но.

35 [kən'tentmənt] задоволення, вдоволення

36 Список 500 най більших за обсягами продажів американських корпорацій . Щорічно
публікується журналом "Форчун"
37 ChiefExecutive Officer - амер. (Головний ) виконавчий директор, генеральний
директор(корпорації), директор-розпорядник (фірми), директор(підприємства)
38 [,s(j)uːpə'fıʃ(ə)l] поверховий , неглибокий , зовнішній ; superficialknowledge — поверхові
знання
39 a live performance by or engagement for a musician or group
playing popular or jazz music; perform a gig or gigs.
on weekends, the craftsman who sells his wares40 out of a beat up41 pick-up truck: none of these
people "succeeded," not one of them has attained42 the "American Dream." Fortune and
notoriety43 generally only come about44 as a result of hard work, but you'll also need opportunity.
You have to find yourself in the right place at the right time.
You'll also meet people who drifted into financial comfort and even success through no effort
of their own. Try not to punch them in the face.
3. "You will be Poor."
Poverty is relative. Compared to your parents' two-income having, 401K45 investing, fully-paid off
mortgage, yes, you'll be poor as hell. In some cities, waitresses make mid-five figures46.
Labourers with the right trade can make more than that. Now imagine if you become valuable to a
company based on the skills you learned in college (a.k.a.47 the reason you went to college): the
sky's the limit.
The only time you saw five figures in college was when you got your student loan statements. Life
after college might not always be easy, but you'll only be eating ramen48 when you're unemployed,
and once you make some friends who can hook you up with some odd jobs until you get back on
your feet, you won't be longing for the bread line599.
2. "You'll be Glad You Went to College."
Who says? Are you a fortune teller? As far as everything else is concerned, you have no idea if you'll
be happy that you did anything until you do it. You're going to meet tons of miserable people every
day of your life from college onward, and they each came to be underdogs in their own uniquely
awful way. There are happy people in the world too, and most of them can't tell you how they got
that way. What we're saying is, it could go either way; It's truly a toss-up49.
1. "You'll Figure it Out."
My father would always tell me, "I'm just doing my job until I figure out what I really want to do."
My father is in his mid-60s. People who present themselves as though they have all the answers are
trying to sell you something. And if you ever become a person who thinks they have it all figured
out50, I'd be shocked if people want to be around you.
Every day, we spend our time grappling with fundamentally simple questions: "How can I stop
wasting all this money?" "How do I quit smoking at last?" If we can't find these answers, how can
we expect to find answers to the really hard questions?
We are all a long way from having it all figured out.

40 товари(як правило, цим словом позначаються дрібні предмети продажу, торгівля якими
ведеться зазвичай не в магазині, а з рук (на вулиці, на ринку
тощо); в однині не вживається)
41 пошарпаний , побитий ; (of a thing) worn out by overuse; in a state of
disrepair.
42 [ə'teın]досягати, добиватися, домагатися
43 [,nəutə'raıətı] загальновідомість; недобра слава
44 відбуватися, траплятися, приходити
45 A401(k) is a retirement savings plan sponsored by an employer. It
lets workers save and invest a piece of their paycheck before taxes are
taken out. Taxes aren’t paid until the money is withdrawn from the
account.
46 Afive-figure salary has five numeric figures, ranging from $10,000 to $99,999 a year.
Most of the world's full-time earners in developed countries are in the five-
figure salary range.
47 [,ei kei 'ei], ['ækə] скoр. від: also known as; також відомий на
ім’я/прізвисько
48 ['raːmen] япон. локшина швидкого приготування (зазвичай подається
в м’ясному бульй оні з м’ясом і овочами) 599 a line of
people waiting to receive free food.
49 ['tɒsʌp]підкидання монети (в орлянці); жеребкування; щось невизначене (непевне, сумнівне);
it is a toss-up whether he comes or not — це ще
невідомо,прий де він чи ні
50 все схоплено,все в шоколаді