Ira A.

Hogg
SOWK 312 Spring 2023
February 6, 2023
Genogram Reflection

Family consists of various iconic traditions, in-house policies, collective biases, and

dynamic individuals who continue the status quo. Influence from your family molds and shapes

the way you develop over the course of your life. Having a supportive family, or not, determines

the lens you choose to view the pathways available to you. We, as humankind, rely on such

tenets to regain focus when we fall short of a milestone, or empower us to further the progress

from where the baton was last dropped. It seems that this traditional race, we deem as life, is a

marathon of maturation, introspection, and ultimately generativity. Being born into a family,

unique to our existence in time and space, delegates our potential to a certain point. We may lean

toward their aid or stray from their collective thoughts and ideologies, to better preserve our own

mental state, and physical wellbeing. There lies in some families a history of abuse, negligence,

and maladaptive practices. On the other end of the spectrum, some families are royal in their

commitment to passing on the torch, focused on family success and reproduction in the light of

joyful cohesions. The tale of my family is rather dark in its beginnings, but because of their

original existence in time and space. Relying on time and its unpredictable ability to force

change, my family saw fit to evolve as the time and space around them also matured.

The Interview

Given my family’s history and their devout pledge to disseminating necessary

information to the rising generations, gathering familial knowledge for the basis of a collegiate

assignment was an easy and memorable time spent between my great-aunt and I. I chose to start

the interview by asking her several questions that required minimal responses. As the interview

began to develop and take form with harder questions, so did her composure. My great aunt
 Ira A. Hogg
SOWK 312 Spring 2023
February 6, 2023
became more and more attentive with each new leading inquiry. She spoke with such a pompous

tone, when replaying her life events whether good or bad. I began to learn of her resentment for

the way times were and how her family had to live a certain way in the shadow of Jim Crow.

Growing up in rural Barnwell, South Carolina, my great aunt shared a close bond with her two

brothers and two sisters. They had no choice, but to stick together, if they were to survive in the

1940s. The era of the 40s was filled with talks of America’s impact on the second World War,

President Franklin D. Roosevelt signing the G.I. Bill to provide financial assistance to WWII

veterans, and African Americans still combating segregation from greater America and its assets.

Barnwell was not a place conducive of social reform and “negro progress” as my great-aunt put

it. Her and her siblings migrated to Columbia, South Carolina to find work, and rebel against

their parents with their new-found freedom. My grandmother fell head over hills for a young, yet

hard working man with a promising future in the military. She had known of many horrors from

the war, as her brothers had both been drafted and came back with various ailments. But she

clung to the hope that this particular lad would make a career out of it and beat the odds.

According to my great-aunt, my grandmother and who would soon become my grandfather fell

in love at a very young age. Amidst their passionate encounters, they welcomed my eldest uncle

and my father two years later, in 1964. My grandmother was 16 years old and my grandfather 18

years of age when my father was born. Despite having a passionate relationship, arguments and

heated disagreements kept this couple from going before the altar. My grandfather enlisted into

the military, quickly shipped off to fight in Vietnam, and managed a terrific career in the Army

and Air Force, while my uncle and father struggled to live a life not fit for a child. My great-aunt

became an adoptive mother to my uncle and father, as their mother fell deeper into the life of

partying and youthful mischief. The family of four young rebellious siblings and two growing
 Ira A. Hogg
SOWK 312 Spring 2023
February 6, 2023
babies would take the path of homelessness, hunger, and the absence of clothing as they fought

their way through the poverty-stricken years that followed.

Parental Guidance

My great-aunt said she knew from the day she laid eyes on her two favorite nephews that

they would live a hard life, but bore the potential to conquer the world. It wasn’t until my father

followed his older brother’s footsteps and sought refuge underneath Uncle Sam’s wing, that he

was promised a permanent roof over his head, three hot meals a day, and a purpose to keep on

living. At the age of 17, my father made a similar promise to his unborn children; committed that

he wouldn’t allow his children to struggle the way he did, and that he wouldn’t fall victim to any

distractions that may deter him from this declaration. After spending some time in Germany, my

father made his way to Texas, then back home to Columbia, South Carolina where he met my

mother in the 80s.

My mother was the youngest of two older sisters and an elder brother. Her mother and

father were devoted to serving the Lord and practicing peace in the local Baptist church. My

grandfather served as a Deacon until his passing in the late 1990s. My mother’s mother passed

when she was only 4 years old, in 1970. My grandfather never remarried and raised his son and

three daughters with continuous help from the church. My mother was raised with love and

fairness. She was often spoiled by her father and siblings, but she always remained humble.

Meeting my father, she said, was accidental. She was already going steady with another young

man, but was blown away by my father’s charisma and unmatched charm. She claimed he was

persistent and always promised to make her his wife. Soon after splitting up from her previous
 Ira A. Hogg
SOWK 312 Spring 2023
February 6, 2023
suitor, my father pursued my mother with all his might. I was born on a cold January evening in

the year 1990; and the fairytale couple were married four years later.

In the beginning, I did not experience, nor knew of many hardships. They were there, I

was just too young to understand how bad times were. It wasn’t until going into the 3rd grade in

1998, that I began to notice the unpaid bills piled high on the dining table, late night arguments,

and periods of separation. My parents were struggling to give me a life they couldn’t yet afford.

At this time, we had just moved into a quaint townhouse with a sizeable corner yard. I had a

plethora of friends and toys to keep my mind busy. Throughout elementary school, I tried my

best to remain on the A and AB honor roll. I felt it was less stress on my parents if I kept my

nose in my books and my hind parts away from trouble. Born in 1996, my sister was now an

annoying 3-year-old and the ruler of my everyday activities. Straying from my father’s stern

grasp and strict rules, I clung to my mother, with my sister in-tow, on her trips to the grocery

store, hair salon, and laundromat. Safeguarding my little sister as my mother fulfilled her gender

specific roles, my bond with my baby sister grew beyond measure. My father felt I was

becoming soft and began to tighten his grip on my development as a young boy. He and I began

taking more fishing trips to the lake and various local ponds. I quickly enjoyed the outings and

looked forward to them each weekend. When I entered the 7th grade, I learned that our fishing

trips were far from sport and not an excuse to vacate the chore of everyday life. They were

actually mandatory, as we were constantly low on food and lacked the finances to acquire more.

My father would start the trip off with a bet of $5 to the person who caught the first fish, with

reasonable size and weight. I would always fish harder each time. We would bring back buckets

filled with big mouth bass, crappie, catfish, and nugget sized brim. Fish and grits became the

new staple of my weekly diet. I admired my father’s tenacity whenever we felt as if the world
 Ira A. Hogg
SOWK 312 Spring 2023
February 6, 2023
had turned its back on the working family. My mother and father made just enough to not qualify

for government assistance, but not enough to get in front of the swelling and reoccurring cycle of

debt. Upon entering high school, I was already the master of fishing, landscaping, and cooking

meals from sparce ingredients. By now, my father’s tight grip on my life had begun to work. I

was closely following in his footsteps, whether I liked it or not. He was teaching me how to build

houses, how to treat women with respect, and how to survive life in any circumstance. In 2008, I

graduated from high school and entered the United States Air Force later that year.

The Building of a Man

The death of my mother in 2009 crippled my idea of existing. At 19 years old I lacked purpose

and an ideal notion of success. My mother had been my nurturing foundation amidst many of my

adversities throughout my youth. I felt as if no one understood me, my mother did. I had just

graduated Basic Military Training and was a remarkable airman speeding through my classes

with a keen interest for knowledge in each subject. Coming back to training from burying my

mother crushed my motivation to excel at my previous rate. I quickly became ill and fell three

classes behind my original class. Instead of graduating in May, I didn’t finish my Technical

Training until October that year. The one person I was never truly close to, now had so much in

common with me. We both lost a mom and wife, we both enjoyed military structure, and we both

still had a sister and daughter to raise. Taking my father’s close guidance and advice, the military

began to consume my daily life, as I regained my ability to soak up knowledge and accelerate

through the ranks. My Air Force career would take me on to deploy to Qatar and Jordan, visit

briefly in Kuwait, England, Germany and Spain, and live for three and a half years in Japan. It

was the end of my second year in Okinawa, Japan that I met who would become my first wife.

She was of Okinawan decent, and knew enough English to teach me some of her native
 Ira A. Hogg
SOWK 312 Spring 2023
February 6, 2023
language. She had a child from her previous marriage, and still bore the battle scars from her ex-

husband. We managed to build a step-family that would all travel back to the United States. In

the year that I was waiting for my wife to arrive, I amassed a debt that wiped out three months’

worth of my paychecks, was arrested for a DWI, and promoted to Staff Sergeant. Despite the

adversity of that year, I went on to garner several awards based on my work proficiency,

diligence, character, and wingmanship of my fellow airmen and those assigned to my guidance.

As I was rebuilding my career in strides, my life at home was falling apart. The new culture of

living in America took my wife by storm. We stopped seeing eye to eye and argued constantly.

We separated in 2018 as her and her daughter boarded a flight back to Okinawa. Depression and

anxiety cornered my newly discovered motivation to work diligently and proficiently. After

failing my last Physical Training Assessment, I was relinquished of my rank, removed from my

supervisory position, and separated from the Air Force. My condition of separation was later

filed as Medical Retirement at 10 years of Active-Duty Service. Adversity once again attempted

to take me out of the race. Upon returning home to Columbia, SC I completed my divorce,

bought my childhood home, and successfully registered as a full-time student at the University of

South Carolina. Shortly after attending USC for a year, I met the woman who would soon give

me the gift of a son and become my dear fiancé. In our parental roles, I am also a father to her

10-year-old daughter from her previous marriage. With the insight and wisdom gained in my

unique journey, I am able to pass along strengths to acquire and weaknesses to identify to my

children.

Conclusion

Throughout this interview, I noticed several patterns of heartache, false love, and

separation. Looking back at my paternal grandmother’s story, the cycle seems similar, just with
 Ira A. Hogg
SOWK 312 Spring 2023
February 6, 2023
different settings and variables at play. My family remained resilient despite being battered by

unfortunate circumstances, low socioeconomical backgrounds, and unpredictable events. My

eagerness to obtain answers showed during the interview. There were no limitations between

myself and my great-aunt. Openness and transparency dominated the discussion. I feel as though

the only improvement that would be worth mentioning, is that I should’ve conducted this

interview a long time ago; when a lot of my dynamic family members were still alive.

Ruminating on the strife of my elders and the coming of my existence, it pains me to think of

how hard of a battle my parents fought for me to revel in the fruits of their labor; to indulge in a

world more or less free from discrimination, turmoil, and financial burdens they were so familiar

with. In going forward, I will cling to my father’s pact: to not allow my children to face the

agony of survival in America, without the proper skills and motivations needed to evolve.