e.g. Rusticated.
This has generated
A Word From Our Leader
The months are flying by and
Christmas is looming. Stocking
levels are steadily increasing and
stands at around 13.4 million. Sales
are ranging between 300,000 and
400,000 per week.
As you have probably seen on the
notice board another works has
been mothballed with the loss of 53
jobs, these are hard times and we
could say “By The Grace of God go
I”.
We are in a fortunate position with
our extensive clay reserves and the
prospect of a new works, the
application for the site was
submitted on 4 October, so fingers
th
crossed and hopefully
presentation will be forthcoming.
At the same time we must maintain
our discipline and quality this was
sadly lacking on the second day
production run of Victorians.
Gentlemen I have got to stress
strongly that we cant shoot
ourselves in the foot, times are hard
enough outside without causing
problems ourselves. Enough said.
You can see that bricks are being
stocked on the pad near the quarry,
this is to sell different type rejects
1of5
sales of around 200,000. Every bit
helps.
Keith Sawyer attended the
companies H&S day at Hanes Hall,
which was quite informative.
Production for September was very
good and the quality (apart from
the Victorians) was again very good
so gentlemen more of the same.
On the financial side costs are being
manages well by Steve, Darren and
Mick, so thanks to these lads as well
for keeping inside the budgets at
the same time as getting little
projects achieved.
All in all gentlemen September was
a good month so well done and just
remember that well known acronym
Team
Work
And
Trust
Oh by the way Nick Hunter has
finally paid up after Whitehaven
falling and Swillington 2nd eleven
lost their final game
Interview With Darren
Bell
a
An image of Darren caught with shutter speed set at the
maximum
“I just have not time” says Darren in between
bites of his sandwich and looking at his emails
on his computer, “Just put no comment, have not
time for every question”.
[He takes another big bite of his sandwich and
sweat his pouring from his forehead and rolling
down his face]
“oomph oomph” he says his mouth full of tuna
bread and cucumbers with bits of tuna flying
back out where he had taken a too bigger bite to
chew, he swallows, “I hated school and came
here when I was sixteen straight from school into
an interview with Phillip Ploughrite, Eric Naylor
and Keith Wilcox, I wondered what it was I was
walking into I had only come for a job as a
Despatch Clerk not for an engineer at NASA”
He takes another bite of his sarnie then goes off
to help Sue lift Henry up the stairs then answers
the phone and tells Mick Lardner about his Golf
Balls before continuing as if without missing a
beat.
“I did despatch for about 5 years and then went
on to take over from Eric Naylor as Stock Yard
Supervisor”
Steve Todd in the background seated near Darren
comments that the stock yard has never run right
since to which Darren Continues, “No its never
run right ever since I took over and then I lost
my marbles, I have got a mobile phone but I
never switch it on, alright Steve stop putting
words in my mouth…”
“Then David left this March and the few
remaining marbles I had left soon disappeared”
Gary comes in asking something about some
bricks that want repacking; Gary is one of
Darren’s subordinates, an epitome of pure
efficiency Darren answers Gary’s query within
the blink of an eye and satisfied Gary bows and
quickly runs off to complete the task to the best
of his ability.
“So yes I was saying, well working conditions
haven’t changed so much over the years but
various companies have implemented minor
changes, some for the worse and others for the
better. Everyones got a bigger workload now,
when I started there used to be 10 staff now there
are only 5 well four if we don’t count you”.
Asked about his best memory while employed at
Swillington for the first time Darren falls silent
2of5
but you can see his brain whirring away in his
minds eye going through all the many
experiences locked in his powerful brain.
“I think winning the ICT Golf and Ten pin
bowling challenge, our team was David, Ernie,
Steve Blacker and myself, I also won the golf
challenge at Painthorpe Country Club”.
At this point Darren has to dash off on to the
plant and promises to finish the interview after a
Rosie Lee to wash his sandwich down, he nearly
collides with Mick Brayford on his way through
the door and then trips over Henry.
About half an hour later Darren is back
stumbling through the door with a handful of
bricks then disappears like a rocket down into the
glasshouse at the front of our office so I run after
him to try and finish my interview.
“Oh No! Its you again, haven’t you got better
things to do than ask people stupid questions, my
worst memory – Its got to be you starting here,
No going through redundancies and
uncertainties due to bad market conditions under
various takeovers”
I follow Darren up the stairs with my clipboard
and over to the Photocopier where he retrieves
some photocopies he started doing earlier and
got broke off from finishing.
“Steve Todd, in the early days well he was a bit
more plumpish and cuddly when I started
whereas Mick Brayford had 5 strands of hair
instead of three”.
Mick and Steve, Steve was a bit cuddlier in the past and
Mick had a few more strands of hair says Darren
This is the most exercise I have had for ages
trying to keep up with Darren I follow him into
the toilets and continue to question him as he Class B Perf
enters the cubicle to have a poo and a wee which ▼ 1 3 Jewsons 73mm 138,240
he says he tries to do in the same session so not ▲ 18 4 Red Mix Rustic 75,484
▲ 7 5 City Multi Smooth 72,320
to waste time.
Victorian Multi
“Well I think Mick Brayford can be a little fiery ▲ 15 6 Smooth 73mm 70,656
and hard to please but Steve is just a one off, a Golden Brown
freak of nature” He shouts ▼ 5 7 Sandfaced 66,896
He comes out of the cubicle and flushes the Swaledale Mult
chain and turns to the wash basin to wash his ▲ 11 8 Dragwire 62,244
▲ 14 9 Cream Mix Smooth 61,020
hands…
Golden Brown
“Life after Death, well my personal opinion is I █ 10 10 Sandfaced 73mm 57,216
don’t believe in life after death, the universe is Farmhouse Brown
just a mindless machine it has no meaning and is ▼ 8 11 Sandfaced 73mm 56,064
going nowhere, we live our lives then they end █ 12 12 Ryedale Dragwire 49,140
and switch off into nothingness” ▼ 4 13 Ridings Multi Rustic 47,912
We exit the toilets and hurry back up the stairs to ▼ 9 14 Derwent Rustic 46,948
the fax machine and Darren Quickly retrieves a Red Mix Smooth
▲ 16 15 73mm 45,312
fax from it before heading back to his desk.
“I only believe stuff that I see, I have not Week Com Produced Sold Stock
sampled life after death but if there was one it 28/08/2006 337,864 170,776 12,931,984
has got to be better than this f**ker, I mean what 04/09/2006 420,148 402,406 12,952,030
you supposed to do up there play harps with the 11/09/2006 456,192 318,036 13,090,186
angels and be eternally happy” 18/09/2006 479,016 299,844 13,269,358
“I do believe strongly in fate and karma but I 25/09/2006 476,860 408,462 13,337,756
think death is the end we live this life then when 02/10/2006 445,944 319,744 13,463,956
we die its just darkness, well not even that just Joke Of The Month
nothing” A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to
Mick Brayford comes over to him and tells him
Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during
about some Victorians that have spray missing
one particularly icy cold winter. They both
off one of there headers there then follows a
slightly heated debate about the spray guns. had jobs, and had difficulty coordinating their
Finally I get a final opening in which to finish travel schedules. It was decided the husband
my interview… would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his
“Oh I don’t know, my nicknames, er Belly er Sam wife would follow him the next day. Upon
Dingle from Emmerdale, Zippy from Rainbow arriving as planned, the husband checked into
cos I talk really fast and its usually all nonsense, the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop
in summary I have my ups and downs but I enjoy and send his wife an e-mail back in
the job and enjoy myself running around the
Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off
factory learning new challenges”
one letter in her address and sent the e-mail
So finally out of breath I collapse back into my
chair after my interview with Darren for another without noticing his error.
issue of our monthly newsletter.
In the mean time:
September Statistics
Top Selling Bricks For September
In Houston, a widow had just returned from
Last her husband's funeral. He was a minister of
mth pos Name Quantity many years who had been "called home to
City Multi Smooth
glory" following a heart attack (died and gone
▲ 2 1 73mm 192,768
▲ 3 2 Class B Hansons 161,280 to report in heaven). The widow checked her

3of5
e-mail, expecting messages from family and
friends. Upon reading the first message, she
fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son
rushed into the room, found his mother on the
floor and saw the computer screen which
read:
To: My loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've arrived!
I've just arrived and have been checked in. I
see that everything has been prepared for
your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to
seeing you then. Hope your journey is as
uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Like A Leaf In The Wind –
The Career Of The Editor
I started my career in a very promising direction
by obtaining 3 good grades at A level in Maths,
Physics and Chemistry and going on to read a
Bachelors Degree in Theoretical Physics which I
graduated from in 1990.
During my time at York University I gradually
became more withdrawn and depressed and
shortly after graduating with a lower second I
nearly died after a bad accident on my
motorcycle that resulted in me spending 13
weeks in Pinderfields Hospital with 33% burns.
Looking back on the incident I realise now I had
experienced what are now termed a near death
experience which I left my body and travelled to
another dimension and met my Guardian Angel.
In April 1991 nearly one year later I obtained a
job as a labourer at Sellers Engineers
Huddersfield where I spent 9 years doing a
whole variety of manual labouring jobs before
being made redundant indirectly as a result of
writing an unofficial “newsletter” about the
place.
During that period I obtained an HNC in
computer programming on a voluntary day
release and did so well I was left with a strong
desire to learn as much about IT as possible.
After applying for numerous vacancies I
obtained a job at Howley Park after an interview
4of5
with Nia Roberts for the post of “Production
Data Administrator”, which entailed me being an
assistant for Steve Blacker.
During those early days I was cocooned in a tiny
office with no windows and would frequently
have to wear my crash helmet to protect me from
the various pieces of office equipment that Steve
used to throw about when he lost his temper.
Very early on things looked good, we used to go
go-carting and then followed a trip to York which
we sailed down the river Ouse but very soon
black clouds started to form on the horizon.
Steve disappeared on the sick, I was sent to see a
psychiatrist and we were descended on by many
aliens from high up in the Marshals hierarchy
and in order to escape from all the chaos my
drinking stepped up a gear - to escape from this
awful reality I had found myself in.
Things became so bad that I was once taken
home by the then Sales Director, Alan Young for
being drunk at work following a game of hide
and seek over the quarry with myself and Mick
McGrory and various other concerned
individuals.
By late Autumn 2004 I had lost track of what my
role was or who my boss was I was so confused
and when I came back to work after Christmas I
found out that the company had been sold to
Hanson’s and everyone except me was extremely
uncertain about the future.
Luckily by this time I had joined AA and been
completely sober for about three months so I was
gradually coming back down to living in the real
world, and I found the Hanson employees much
more human than there Marshalls counterparts.
However the inevitable happened and I was
placed on death row for redundancy in July 2005
and started once again applying for jobs.
One of the jobs I applied for was an internal
vacancy at Swillington as a “Despatch
Administrator” and luckily I seemed to fit right
in to the institutionalised characters who occupy
the office so I was taken on.
That was September 2005 and the rest as they
say is history, probably not the job I had
envisaged myself doing when I was back at
school but a place I really enjoy working.
I have now been sober just over 2 years and these
have definitely been the best years of my life and
I think working in an environment where
everyone helps each other has made me so much
more confident than I ever was.
Now I follow the AA philosophy of living each
day one day at a time.
It is not the experience of today that drives men
mad – it is the remorse or bitterness for
something that
happened
yesterday or the
dread of what
tomorrow may
bring.
left:
my website at
www.madmickstories.com

5of5