A Word from Our Leader Sales

Sales are up and down similar to last year but

hopefully things will pick up enough for us to
continue producing.
Manchester Reds are part of a 1.2 million order,
plus 70,000 being gauged, so with the prospect
of further orders.
Projects
The money for the new plant has now been
passed by Hansons Plc which is good news and
work is still progressing to satisfy Leeds Council,
hopefully this will be passed autumn 2007 and
then we can start the building phase of the
project.

Just a reminder, that any bricks must be

authorised before being removed from the yard.
Failure to obtain authorisation could result in
The first two months of 2007 have flown by and dismissal and it’s not worth the risk for a few
the works has suffered its fair share of downs quid
these past 8 weeks. Finally thanks for all your efforts over the past
We are still having a run of niggling faults that 12 months and hopefully we can get the works
have caused the works to loose volumes; at the running as smooth as in 2005
end of play Period 2 we are 67,000 down on INTERVIEW WITH DAVID ZINIS
green make and can be attributed to Creams, and 30th jan 1977 – 30th jan 2007
the remaking of the Manchester Reds using the 40 year anniversary
grand old lady sanding machine (its said that this
was here before Mick Brayford but it cant be).
On the fired side well, the knock on effects have
caused us to be 170,000 down, so we have 10
months to pull these back. Works costs are
running about on budget.
Quality
We have been hit by a few complaints early 2007
mainly due to distortion on bottom bricks, so de-
hacker lads if you see them please take them out.
The first run of Manchester reds were a disaster
hence the 2nd run. Hopefully the engineering
department will be able to convert the top guns
to oscillating to enable bald patches to be a thing The presentation of the 40 year continued service
of the past. by Paul Wingfield to David Zinis on 28th
The runs of Creams vhave been probably the best February 2007 in that time he has had over 50
since I came in 2005 so well done to everyone electric shocks PTO to hear his story so far…
Health & Safety When I first left school I obtained a job at Walter
Again thank you for your concerted efforts in Robinsons in Brighouse, when I was 17 I got a
working safe. Please ask if you are not sure and job at Samuel Wilkinsons who were a family
we can do a risk assessment to find the safest firm like Armitages with several different sites
method of carrying out the task. up and down.
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There was Woodman Pipeworks, Woodman,
Blackley, Calder and Atlas; Altlas made purpose
made commons which were big sellers in those
days as they were used for the inner walls where
the face could not be seen.
I was contracted as an electrician to work all
over and really enjoyed them days.
Generally Blackley site made fired bricks and the
sales of these compensated when sales of
ordinary bricks hit a lull and vice versa.
However towards the end of the eighties the
whole country was hit by recession and the
firebrick industry started going downhill with the
steel industry and simultaneously the ordinary
brick sales started to plummet in both value and
quantity.
This prompted the sale of Samuel Wilkinson to
Hansons under the title then of Butterley Brick
and suddenly we went from being a small family
firm where everyone knew each other to a large
international firm which no one knew anyone.
I must admit I preferred it being small but times
move on and you have to adjust to survive such
is the laws of nature.
I must admit that coming to work at Swillington
has been quite a shock after working at Calder
for so long, you get institutionalised you see so I
suppose it has been one of my biggest memories
and for the first time meeting a true Jedi Master
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like yourself in person well that’s an experience
in itself.
When I first heard I would be working here, well
you cannot put words in a respectable magazine
like this about my thoughts and feelings, I was
also used to getting out of bed and falling into
the electricians shop so it seemed a very long
way to travel.
However a practical man like myself I have
found all the quick routes such as heading
towards Leeds and using the M621 to junction 27
of the M62 thereby missing the M62/M1
interchange which is really badly designed, I
have suggested other layouts for this interchange
to the highways agency but it has all fallen on
deaf ears so far.
You see they closed the Calder works for reasons
best known to them and I was offered
redundancy then an electrician’s job appeared
here which I took.
Other memories in the past was the time when
we had a sports day event at Samuel Wilkinsons
in 1979 and I won the egg and spoon race, I have
still got the cup now it has pride of place on my
mantelpiece and my photo appeared in the
Brighouse Chronicle which made me a bit of a
local celebrity
A bad memory while been here was falling off
my BMW motorbike at the bottom of the lane,
the brakes on it were binding a bit so when I
pulled the lever initially nothing happened so I
pulled a little harder and the front wheel locked
leaving me lying on the road looking very silly.
Anyway as it happened no one saw me or was
nearby to laugh at my predicament and I quickly
got the bike back up which had little damage and
rode off into the night like boon on that TV
series.
I can’t remember Mick Brayford or Steve Todd
in the early days because obviously I didn’t work
here then but I do remember Cruella when she
was a nipper and obviously when she worked on
despatch at Calder but no I don’t actually fancy
her.
 which has continued to haunt me all my life, I
mean with a name like Zinnis everyone takes the
p*ss and well it got cut down and changed and in
the end settled on Zoggy.
I am not aware of any other nicknames but
maybe you all know different (indeed we do).
For music well I love Country and Western and
Rock & Roll, I loved Jason Donovan’s albums in
the late eighties and early nineties, I still often
play “Too Many Broken Hearts” which is my
favourite song of all time.
My hobbies include walking and fishing, I love
to go for walks all over the dales and the welsh
Left to right, Paul Wingfield, Dawn Wright, Darren Bell, David
Zinnis, Mick Brayford, Mick Lardner & Cruella
mountains, I have climbed Snowdon a couple of
times but every time it has been cloudy and no I
I have known Mick Lardner for oh, donkeys have never been up on the train.
years, he’s a really nice guy is Mick, a bit I am also married with one granddaughter.
overweight but his hearts in the right place. I By the time I retire I will have worked for 47
have bumped into him a few times at ICT dinners years.
(well its hard not to) and I have seen him around I also asked a few people round the works what
a few of the different sites over the years. they thought of David Zinnis…
If I won the lottery there would be no point in Mick Brayford “He hasn’t done bad since he
continuing to work because your entire wage started work here he has put some good work
would get swallowed up in tax so in effect you in”
would be working for nothing. Darryl “I can’t remember – he’s a good bloke
I think I would sell my house and buy a big posh really … I think!”
yacht and end up over in the coast of Wales I Geoff “No comment”
certainly wouldn’t go down south with them rich Andy Smith “I have never really had owt to do
buggers. with old Horsewhisperer cos I cant understand
I sort of believe in a form of existence after we him”
die, I think we carry on in our minds, I mean all Gary Smith “It was funny tother day when I kept
the atoms which we are made from are just calling him on the radio and he was carrying his
vibrations and what we see is really a product of coffee, he kept putting it down to answer his
brain chemistry not what actually is there. radio then he carried on so I called him again
I think it’s a bit like a really vivid dream and you and he put his coffee down to answer again. His
can make what you want happen but the coffee must have been cold when he got to where
geography of the earth is very similar to what it he was going, it really tickled me”
is when we are alive but we can also go into Darren Bell “I think he is quiet, efficient and
space and visit the moons of Mars if we want. enthusiastic”
I will set myself up a little house on Hyperion – WORKS STATISTICS
one of the many moons of Saturn, its supposed to Top 15 For Feb 2007
be very beautiful there with the rings and all that. Last mth pos Name Quantity
I also believe that animals have an afterlife ▲ 2 1 73 Class B Hanson 230016
existence and I believe in reincarnation, in fact I ▲ 3 2 73 City Multi 110208
believe around the turn of the 19th century I was ▼ 1 3 73 Class B Jewson 100680
an ostrich on the planes of Africa. ▲ 5 4 65 Mixed Rejects 98084
▼ 4 5 65 Cream Smth 95824
My nicknames, well the only one I know of is
▲ 13 6 65 Swaledale Drag 67360
Zoggy which was a name from my school days
NEW 7 73 Mixed Rejects 66432
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▲ 14 8 65 City Multi 65088 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told
NEW 9 65 Manchester 57856 her in an official tone, "Code 3" in house-
▲ 12 10 65 Ridings Multi 56952 wares..... And watched what happened.
▼ 10 11 65 Victorian Smth 50172 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET
▼ 8 12 65 Golden Brown 42940 FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
NEW 13 73 Victorian 35328
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor
NEW 14 65 Farmhse Brwn 35256
▼ 11 15 73 Golden Brown 33792
clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite
them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor
Week Com Produced Sold Stock gas stove.
22/01/2007 403,816 336,888 15,351,068 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager
29/01/2007 409,100 391,140 15,370,232 asked if she could help him, he began to cry and
05/02/2007 437,760 405,468 15,402,524 asked, "Why can't you people just leave me
12/02/2007 434,484 354,688 15,482,320 alone?"
19/02/2007 432,076 360,276 15,552,400
8. October 4: Looked right into the security
This week we managed to break our daily record camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and
with sales of 160,978 on 1st March this is the ate it.
highest daily sales since I started recording them 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing
when I started at Swillington in September 2005. kitchen knives in the House-wares aisle asked an
We also for the first time during week assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
commencing 26th Feb with sales of 458,913 have were.
taken off stock the previous highest weekly sales 10. December 3: Darted around the store
have been 454,470 from 13-17th Feb 2006 suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission
JOKES Impossible" theme.
Letter from tescos 11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle,
Wouldn't you just love to do some of these practised the "Madonna look" using different
things??? I know I would!!!! size funnels.
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and
Office to a customer in Oxford: when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!"
"PICK ME!"
Dear Mrs. Murray, 13. December 21: When an announcement came
over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal
While we thank you for your valued custom and position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those
use of the Tesco Loyalty voices again."
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is And; last, but not least:
considering banning you and your family from 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut
shopping with us, unless your husband stops his the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly,
antics. "There is no toilet paper in here."
Below is a list of offences over the past few Yours
months all verified by our surveillance Sincerely,
cameras…
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and Charles Brown
randomly put them in people's trolleys when they Store Manager
weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.
David Zinnis in a previous incarnation
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the A Nun & The Priest
floor leading to feminine products aisle.

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A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on
a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly
dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest
surveyed their situation. After a long period of
silence, the priest spoke.
"Well, sister, this looks pretty grim."
"I know, father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we
can survive more than a day or two."
"I agree", says the Father, "Sister, since we are
unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do
something for me?"
"Anything, Father."
"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was
wondering if I might see yours."
"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it
would do any harm."
The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the
sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently
on their beauty.
"Sister, would you mind if I touched them?"
She consented and he fondled them for several
minutes.
"Father, could I ask something of you?
"Yes, Sister?"
"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"
"I suppose that would be OK," the priest replied
lifting his robe.
"Oh Father, may I touch it?"
This time the priest consented and after a few minutes
of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.
"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right
place, it can produce life."
"Is that true father?"
"Yes, it is, Sister."
"Oh Father, that's wonderful! Stick it in the camel
and let's get the hell out of here."
A JOKE by DARREN Bell
Twelve priests were about to be ordained.
The final test was for them to line up in a straight
row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful,
big breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie
and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when
she danced in front of them would not be ordained
because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first
candidate, with no reaction.
She proceeded down the line with the same response
from all the priests until she got to the final priest,
Carlos. Poor Carlos.
As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it
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flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest
in nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the
bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up, then all
the other bells started to ring.
ELDERLY COUPLE
An elderly married couple scheduled their annual
medical examination the same day so they could
travel together.
After the examination, the doctor then said to the
elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do
you have any medical concerns you would like to ask
me?"
"In fact I do," said the elderly man. "After I have sex
with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and
sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second
time, I am usually cold and chilly."
The doctor said he would make a note of that and see
what some lab tests revealed.
After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said,
"Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any
medical concerns that you would like to discuss with
me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions or
concerns.
The doctor then asked, "Your husband had an unusual
concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty
after having sex the first time with you and then cold
and chilly after the second time. Do you know why
that could be?"
"Oh that crazy old fart!" she replied. "That is because
the first time
is usually around July and the second time is usually
in December!"