Invisible Hurdles

I plopped down on a hard, wooden chair beside the window sill in my math class. I closed my
eyes but a loud ruckus made it impossible for me to sit in peace. My eyes scanned the room for
the source of the sound – Silvi. A herd of people gathered around her table chattering with her,
a quotidian event in our class. As my eyes tried to get past the group of people, I saw a glimpse
of Silvi’s smile through the cracks. I was one of the few who knew her smile was more
exhaustion than happiness.

Silvi was one of the people who were mysteriously attractive. She was never an extrovert nor an
introvert. She was ambiguously set in the middle, as if she was an introvert being forced to be
the opposite. She had more friends than anyone in the room could count, branching from
various kinds of schools and countries. However, only a few people acknowledged that she
never acted as if she wanted to be popular. She acted and looked normal. I knew that her
popularity was mostly rooted from her parents, who were rumored to be one of the richest
people in the country.

Silvi was god. Whether it was of fear, admiration, or popularity, everyone followed her even
when she never asked. I couldn’t go through one school day without hearing the highest of
expectations of her. Some talked about how she has a lucky life, being so rich and popular, and
others talked about how they envied her. Whenever Silvi heard them, she showed a split
second of the fakest smile in the world and walked off. I knew deep down that she disliked these
high expectations everyone was setting up for her. I didn’t know why, though. Me, or anyone
else, would have gladly wanted her life.

That day, Silvi hosted one of the biggest birthday sleepover parties I’ve ever been to. All people
in our grade were invited, and most of them showed up. Her house was exactly what everyone
had imagined – the giant mansion that had bathrooms bigger than normal bedrooms. What
startled me that day, however, was not the sheer size of her house, the amount of people who
came, the amount of maids and cleaners she had, or how lavish everything was. It was the fact
that throughout the whole 24 hours, I have never seen her parents. Every corner in her house
was filled with her assistants, but her mom and dad were nowhere to be found.

When I asked Silvi about it, she hesitated for a second before she told me that they are always
outside. She didn’t seem to know where they were, but she didn’t seem too eager to talk about it
either. I’ve never seen her mom or dad during the whole school year. They were never there
during parent meetings or school events. During that split second, I felt lonely for her. Her
parents were strangers, only providing money but never their company. She didn’t have a
normal life, but others thought she had the best life anyone could ever have.

Many of my friends still believe that Silvi has everything everyone craves for, but I know her life
isn’t perfect, nor is anyone else’s. Silvi may have everything everyone else wants, but not what
she wants. Sometimes, I look at her and see a normal girl, trying to fit in all her expectations.
She’s just the same as everyone, going through her track of life trying to jump over her hurdles
that are invisible to others.
Very good! You clearly have the acute sense of sight that can see through your friend’s
invisible hurdles! :) Asides from a few grammar mistakes, your writing is very well-
organized and coherent!

Try to reread every sentence very carefully and look for some “Telling” parts that we’ve
discussed last week; instead of Telling, always try to show what’s going on in your story.
You can do so by appealing to all five sensory aspects!! :)

Add some dialogue where possible!

If possible, also try to convey some life lessons you got from watching your friend at the
end of your essay!

As for the grammar mistakes, review the following verbs! :)

Transitive Verbs:
Access + 명사 ~에 접근/접속하다
Attend + 명사 ~에 참석하다
Attract + 명사: ~를 모으다, 유치하다
Adopt + 명사: ~를 선택/채택/입양하다
Approve + 명사: ~를 승인하다
Assess=evaluate=appraise + 명 사 :
~를 평가하다
Discuss + 명사: ~를 토론하다
Enhance + 명사: ~를 향상시키다
Exceed + 명사: ~를 능가하다
Join + 명사: ~를 가입하다
Mention + 명사: ~를 언급하다
Process + 명사: ~를 처리하다

Intransitive=Transitive Verbs
Respond/reply to=answer
Appeal to sb=attract sb
Participate in=take part in=attend
Wait for=await
Talk/speak about=discuss
Account for=explain
Comply with=abide by=follow/obey sth
Lie=lay
Object to=oppose sth
Rise=raise sth
Arrive at/in=reach
Look for=seek

Transitive Verb Phrases

Add A to B: A 를 B 에 더하다
Affix A to B: A 를 B 에 붙이다
Associate A with: A 와 B 를 연결/연상짓다
Assure A of B:
A 에게 B 에 대해 안심시키다
Attribute A to B: A 를 B 탓으로 돌리다
=Ascribe A to B
Attach A to B: A 를 B 에 첨부하다
Blame A for B: B 때문에 A 를 책망하다
Check A for B: B 를 위해 A 를 체크하다
Compare A with B: A 와 B 를 비교하다
Confuse A with B: A 와 B 를 혼동하다
Compensate A for B:
B 를 위해 A 를 보상하다
Congratulate A for B:
B 때문에 A 를 축하하다
Convert A into B=
Change A into B B=transform A into B
A 를 B 로 바꾸다
Convince sb of sth=
sb 에게 sth 을 설득시키다
Describe A as B: A 를 B 로 표현하다
Devise A for B: B 를 위해 A 를 강구하다
Discourage/keep/prevent/stop A from B: A 가 B 하지 못하게 하다
Distinguish A from/between B=
B 로부터 A 를 구별하다
Exchange A for B: A 를 B 로 교환하다
Expose A to B: A 를 B 에게 노출시키다
Familiarize oneself with A:
A 에 능통/친숙하게 되다
Forgive sb for sth:
sb 가 sth 한걸 용서해주다
Incorporate A into B: A 와 B 를 합치다
Inform A of B: A 에게 B 를 알려 주다
Keep records of B: B 를 기록하다
Leave A with B: A 를 B 와 함께 남기다
Notify sb of sth=inform sb of sth:
sb 에게 sth 을 통보하다
Pay A for B: B 를 위해 A 를 지불하다
Prefer A to B: A 를 B 보다 선호하다
Present A with B: A 에게 B 를 주다
Prevent/keep/stop/inhibit/discourage/
prohibit sb from ING:
sb 가 ING 하는걸 막다/금지하다
Provide A for B: B 를 위하여 A 를 제공하다
Provide sb with sth:
sb 에게 sth 을 제공하다
Recognize A as B : A 를 B 로 분간하다
Regard A as B: A 를 B 로 여기다
Remind sb of sth:
sb 에게 sth 을 상기시키다
Remove A from B: B 로부터 A 를 제거하다
Return sth to sb: sb 에게 sth 을 돌려주다
Replace A with B: A 를 B 로 교체하다
Reward sb with sth: sb 에게 sth 상주다
Satisfy A with B: B 로 A 를 만족시키다
Share A with B: B 와 A 를 공유하다
Supplement A with B: B 로 A 를 보충하다
Thank sb for sth=
sb 에게 sth 에 대해 감사하다
Transfer A to B:
A 를 B 에게 전송하다, 보내다