The Lemonade Principle

When Life Hands You Lemons Make Lemonade!
Bernard Smalls
Be Happy! Be Healthy! Feel Terrific!

MAKE YOUR LEMONS AID YOU TO A SWEETER, HAPPIER LIFE!
THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE Copyright 2006 by O. Bernard Smalls All Rights Reserved No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without written permission of the author.
ISBN Number: 1-4276-1081-9 Printed in the United States of America Published by: O. Bernard Smalls Copyright 2006 by O. Bernard Smalls Companies
To my lover Karen Renee Smalls This book would not exist without you. You have helped me Make Lemonade!
~ DEDICATION ~
To Master Lemonade Maker
Mr. John Williams

o be completely honest, I struggled with the dedication part of this book, since I have had the privilege of being personally influenced by so many great human beings in the world of business in the last six years. This is not name-dropping, but I thought about my friend Ken Blanchard the author of The One Minute Manager, and then the late W. Clement Stone, Mr. Positive Mental Attitude. Then, how could I forget S. Truett Cathy, owner of Chic-fil-A? I even considered dedicating it to Peter J. Daniels, the wealthy Australian Entrepreneur who endorsed my first book, with whom Ive spent several days, enjoying breakfast, lunch and dinner, along with his wonderful wife, Robina. I have met several other influential people, such as Stedman Graham, Oprahs significant other, and I have illustrated their impact and the lesson I learned from them in this book. After much consideration of the person who has had the most impact in real-world mentoring in the last six years, this book is dedicated to John Williams, Chairman and principal owner, Toyota Mall of Georgia, in the greater Atlanta area. I started at Toyota Mall on their first day of business in their new state-of-the-art facility, and I immediately saw that this was no ordinary car dealership. Mr. Williams constantly held us all at a high standard of excellence. I am even more impressed that he, himself, lived out the standard personally, while building a great organization from the humble beginnings of two trailers in Buford Georgia. Even though I have met the people that I have mentioned heretofore, Mr. Williams has been the real-world mentor who has helped to shape my dream and see the Big Picture . John helped me to become a corporate trainer and showed me, by example and mentoring, how to make lemonade in the highly competitive automotive world. Toyota Mall is the first Toyota dealership in the history of the world to win every Toyota performance excellence awards in the first year of business, including the prestigious Presidents Award, which the organization has won every year since opening. This is no easy accomplishment considering Toyotas high standards of Kaizen constant and continuous improvement and Jidoka dont pass the defects . Mr. Williams started with a dream of Building relationships that last with internal and external customers. He faced many proverbial pits and prisons, yet made lemonade by delivering the dream. Thank you John! You may not be a big name yet, but you carry a big stick!
~ TABLE OF CONTENTS ~
#1: PURPOSE Happiness is Your Human Right! ................................................... 13 Lemon Laws.......................................................................................... 21 The Joseph Factor What is this dream?.................................... 31 #2: PITS No Friends/Know Friends!................................................................ 39 Unhappy People!................................................................................. 45 Lemonade is Good!............................................................................ 49 #3: PRISONS Choose To Be Free! ............................................................................ 59 Life Is A Test! ..........................................................................................63 Are You Stuck? ..................................................................................... 69 #4: PROMOTION Breaking Out Of Comfort Zones .................................................... 87 Developing Your Self Concept ........................................................ 93 Good Times!.......................................................................................... 97 #5: PALACES Time For Promotion ..........................................................................107 Self-Leadership....................................................................................113 Blood, Sweat & Cheers!!! .................................................................119 Appendix - Be Happy Lemonade Recipes.............................................. 131 References ........................................................................................................ 133 About the Author............................................................................................ 135
~ PREFACE ~
My purpose in this book is to put motivation in those who feel that theres nothing left. The concepts of THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE are real. They are not metaphysical rhetoric or motivational hype. These principles have consistently worked for me in my personal life. For example, I have not visited a doctor for over 30 years for anything serious, other than routine physical check-ups, and I am motivated all the time, for which I am extremely thankful. By the way, I am not against doctors, nor am I saying that there is no such thing as sickness. I just havent needed one other than for routine insurance check-ups or other professional and business related physical examinations. I credit my healthy lifestyle to my positive mental attitude. My advice to you is to read this book in its entirety, ponder and apply the principles with balance, and prove it for yourself. I have learned the simple truth that a happy heart is health to the bones. By the way; share the happiness and tell someone else about what you have learned so that they, too, can Be Happy, Be Healthy and Feel Terrific and stay motivated through THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE.
EPISODE
PURPOSE!
Happiness Is Your Human Right!

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, That all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.
Declaration of Independence
I Feel Happy! I Feel Healthy! I Feel Terrific!
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Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
Chapter 1
HAPPINESS IS YOUR HUMAN RIGHT!

Wine Is Proof That God Loves Us And Wants Us To Be Happy!
Ben Franklin
THE PURPOSE OF YOUR LIFE is to be happy, be healthy and feel terrific. Life is intended to be goodor terrific! Imagine living your life on planet earth where you are being happy, being healthy and feeling terrific! A taste of heaven on earth Happiness is, in fact, the Divine purpose of life! It is also a major element in the American dream. Yet most people, even in wealthy, prosperous nations, lead lives of quiet desperation, as the great Henry David Thoreau has said. For far too many, the dream has dissipated and become a nightmare. Its time for you to reclaim your happiness, because each day of life is a gift. Following is a powerful poem that illustrates it.
Each Day Is A Gift

by Author Unknown
The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight oclock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though
Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE
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she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. I love it, she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. Mrs. Jones, you havent seen the room .... Just wait. That doesnt have anything to do with it, she replied. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesnt depend on how the furniture is arranged, its how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. Its a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open Ill focus on the new day and all the happy memories Ive stored away, just for this time in my life. She went on to explain, Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what youve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of
14 Timeless Lessons from Joseph On How to Turn Your Liabilities Into Assets
memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing. And with a smile, she said: Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Choose to be happy.
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The Lemonade Principle is about living a happy, healthy and terrific life through realizing that each day is a gift. So relax, chill-out and get ready to enjoy the ride! Happy starts with you!
Understanding the Self-Concept

Here is the huge question. How do you see yourself? Are you happy or unhappy, positive or negative, motivated or lacking motivation? It all centers on your self-concept. Your self-concept or the way you see yourself is critical to a life of happiness. Why? Because the way you think on the inside determines the way you act on the outside. The Lemonade Principle will increase your happiness by you developing a healthy self-concept. Up to the age of 18, your self-concept is largely developed as a result of outside influences. When you reach maturity, you become totally responsible for its development.
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Your self-concept is made up of beliefs, most of which are subjective. That is, they are not based on facts at all. You have been programmed from childhood with erroneous data which affect your beliefs, your conclusions, and your behavior. You only feel comfortable when you are performing consistent with these little self-concepts. Your self-concept keeps you locked in place, performing at a certain level, which is your comfort zone. The good news is you were not born with self-concept. Everything you know about yourself has been taught over the course of your life. You can change your life by changing your self-concept.
No More Self-Pity
Has life delivered what you expected by this time or are you unhappy? Many who start their careers with the dream of a house in LA, one in New York, and a beach house in Miami, often end up being in a bedroom in their in-laws house until they can afford their own apartment. Too many today are quietly desperate, saying to themselves: this is not what I wanted to be when I grew up. I want to show you how to stop waiting for your ship to come in by going out to meet it. Its time for no more self-pity! In this book, I will introduce you to a dreamer who went through 5 Ps to a happy, fulfilled life. He started with a purpose, was thrown into a pit, sold into slavery, and locked away in prison where they threw away the keys before he was finally promoted to the palace, which represents the place of fulfillment. The promotion to the palace was the fulfillment of his dream. Its vital that you understand that
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dreams go through a process that can be extremely challenging for the dreamer before they are fulfilled.
What Is Happiness
Happiness can be an illusive concept. Most people, if pressed, would say happiness is being content with a loving spouse, a good job and a house in a nice neighborhood. Many say that happiness is an intimate relationship. For some people, intimacy feels oppressive and they prefer venturing out seeking adventure and excitement. Others find great satisfaction in piling up personal possessions. Still others will tell you that being able to give to others is what happiness is all about. Happiness is a highly individual thing.
Belief Systems
No matter what your definition of happiness, I assure you that if you read the pages of THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE, you will be convinced that happiness is not as illusive as it seems and you can be happy, be healthy and feel terrific. You can live your dream. I know that you are thinking happiness and health, thats got to be too good to be true. How could this be with all of the human suffering in this world? Here is some out of the box thinking: Unhappiness is not supposed to be the norm in your life. Unhappiness is simply a lot of B.S. (belief systems). You can choose happiness now by learning how to change your belief systems, because:
HAPPINESS IS YOUR HUMAN RIGHT!
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I will show you in simple clear terms and by examples in the following pages how to do it; regardless of what is happening in your life, you can be happy. Heres some deeply profound wisdom that
has helped me to be happy and stay motivated through some tough places:
DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF, ITS ALL SMALL STUFF!!!
The Lemonade Principle

Here is the master-key, the secret, if you would: The key attitude of all continuously happy people is found in the phrase When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade! The phrase embodies what I call THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE. If you take all of the bad, negative and ugly things that happen in life and find the greater benefit, and turn the bad into something beneficial, you would live a continuously happy life, wouldnt you? You learn to turn liabilities into assets. Whats good about lemons anyhow? Lets think of lemon juice for a moment to lay the foundation of the lemonade principle. Lemon juice is sour, bitter and tart and tends to contort the face when consumed. In life, we often see the lemon as a parallel to bitter experiences. Natural things often communicate deeper spiritual and psychological realities. This is why parables are so powerful. A parable is a story or a parallel lesson that illustrates a deeper meaning than the obvious. You could say that When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade is a parabolic statement, like The Early Bird Gets the Worm. So the next time you are dealing with a bitter, challenging experience, instead of saying, I am doing horrible, you might say: I
am making lemonade! You can have what you say! Here are some natural facts and benefits about lemons: Lemons are high in vitamin C. Lemons prevent scurvy, a disease that causes bleeding gums, loose teeth and aching joints. The British Navy requires ships to carry enough lemons so that every sailor can have one ounce of juice a day. You can add the juice of one lemon to an equal amount of hot water for an anti-bacterial gargle. Lemons are a cure for sore throats. Next time you have a sore throat, reach for a lemon! Lemon juice with warm saltwater is a simple recipe for a sore throat.
Extract the Good

There is inherent good in the bitter, miserable situation. Remember, the juice is in the lemon! You can extract the good out of any situation when you learn to make lemonade. Extract the good, like Lemon extract get the point? True happiness is found within, as the juice is found within the lemon. What lemon has life handed you? Learn to look for and extract the good from the situation. The purpose of your life on this earth is to be happy, be healthy and feel terrific! Life is good! Extract it! Enjoy it!

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Chapter 2
THE LEMON LAWS

People often say that motivation doesnt last. Well, neither does bathing thats why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar
THIS CAR IS A LEMON!!! What does that mean, anyhow? Does it mean that the car is a tart, yellow citrus fruit? If you drive a Junker, you are probably saying, Um sounds like my car. While I was in College in Anchorage, Alaska, I bought a car for a dime yes, 10 cents! I bought it from a fellow student for a dime because he wanted to help me out and make the transaction legal in the state of Alaska. By the way, a dime was about all I could afford at the time. I was so poor I couldnt even pay attention! That car was the picture of a lemon, meaning, the car was a JUNKER! It was a golden color 1971 Ford Pinto (remember the Pinto?) and was literally held together with duct tape, bond dough, and bungee cords! It actually had a bungee chord that was attached from the gear shifter to the drivers door to keep the door closed since the lock was broken. That Pinto depicted poverty. Those were the days my friend, I thought theyd never end Driving that Pinto was definitely a bummer! I would often park
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several blocks away and walk up to a building or restaurant so that no one saw what I was driving. Have you ever had a car like that? That was bitter! But it was also sweetit beat walking!
Lemon Laws
I have worked for years as a corporate trainer in the automotive industry. There is no business like the car business. Car dealers generally have such a wonderful reputation in customer service that in most states there is what is called a lemon law. The lemon law is designed to protect unhappy customers who have been ripped off by a dealer. By the way, I wrote a customer service book entitled T.G.I. Sunday The Gospel of Customer Service, based on a true story of customer service excellence achieved in a car dealership. A friend of mine wrote to me in a humorous email, Bernard, I thought you did not believe in writing fiction? The fact of the matter is that the lemon law was created to protect the consumer and to keep dealers honest. The lemon law basically ensures the success of the customer after the car deal. What do you do when life hands you a lemon? YIKES!!! Have you ever gotten angry at this thing we call life for the bad set of circumstances that were handed you? Is there protection for this? You bet! Just as lemon laws work to protect the consumer, there are natural and spiritual laws that work to protect any human that puts them to work. A law is simply a principle that works every time it is applied or put to work. A simple example is the law of gravity, which says, what goes up must come down. There are laws that control happiness and health and motivation, and will work every time they are put to work.
Laws of Motivation
Many people today have a misunderstanding of motivation. This shows me we need to be aware of the E factor the expediency factor. Most people do those things that are easy, fun and fast tension relieving, instead of hard, slow and necessary goal achieving. Its the short-term gain, long-term pain syndrome. I realize that many of my goals will not be achieved in the short range. Therefore, I need to understand the three forms of motivation I may utilize to aid me in achieving my dreams. An example of the first is about a Texan who has an intelligent, beautiful daughter. He wanted her to marry a winner, so he invited the most eligible bachelors in the state to a party. He said to them, If you can swim across my Olympic-sized swimming pool (filled with alligators and crocodiles), you will have a choice of selecting either one million dollars, 10,000 acres of land, or my daughters hand in marriage. Immediately there was a splash in the water, then a gentleman came up on the opposite side of the pool. The Texan asked him, Do you want a million dollars? No, he replied. Do you want 10,000 acres of land? No! he said again. With a smile on his face, the Texan said, Then you want my daughters hand in marriage? NO! the man shouted. Frustrated, the Texan asked, Then what do you want? I want to know who pushed me in!
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Thats called fear motivation. It works. This gentleman achieved his goal, but the stressful factors were at 100%. I dont believe in fear motivation. Peter Daniels, in his provocative book How To Stay Motivated All the Time, gives us some of the best insight on the planet concerning the laws of motivation. These have helped me to make mucho lemonade. Mr. Daniels brings out that being motivated is not backslapping, loud talking, hyperactive behavior, or something caught like a common cold.
LAWS OF MOTIVATION
1. Motivation Is Deeply Personal. Most think that motivation just happens some are born with it, others are not. Motivation is a behavioral science that can be learned. 2. Have Clearly Defined Boundaries You cannot do everything, but you can do something! You cannot be motivated if you want to do everything, be everywhere, and control everything. Energy must be directed and channeled into certain areas. 3. Have Long-Term Goals Long-term goals create long-term motivation! Long-term goals create commitment. Long-term goals kill fantasy thinking into possibility thinking! 4. Develop a Positive Mental Attitude! A positive mental attitude means spending your creative energies on finding ways things can be done.
5. Develop Personal Integrity Become someone you can admire. Follow through on trivial commitments. Treat yourself as your best friend. 6. Take Care In Selecting Your Friends. 1. Honesty 2. Humor 3. High-flying 4. Generosity
7. Operate within Personal Timetables. Time is your most valuable asset. Dont allow other peoples schedules to control you. Allow time for others. 8. Minimize People Dependency!! If its to be, its up to me! Go for profits, not for size. Relate to the few who control the many. 9. Remain In Control All The Time. Control means you can change at any time. Control means not being manipulated or frustrated by people or events. Control means following an agreed-upon plan. 10. Accept Total Responsibility. Take responsibility for your achievement quotient. Take responsibility for your motivational level. Invest a minimum of 5% of your total income into motivational tapes, videos and books.
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11. Make Motivation a Habit. Habits formed are hard to break. Habit force means automatic control. Here are some tips: 1. Always be on time. 2. Do important and productive things first. 3. Look for principles in every situation. 4. Examine and establish the real objective. 5. Finish what you start as soon as practicable. 6. Stay calm and objective in all circumstances. 7. Continually upgrade your mind. 12. Aspire To Something Greater Than Your Self. Develop a magnificent obsession. 13. Always Have A Futuristic Outlook. Welcome change. Plan on change. Control change. (Lock in changeless principles) 14. Give your Motivation to others! Never respond to a negative remark with criticism, always respond by affirming the positive. Never agree with a person when they refer to bad habits as a part of their lives encourage change by suggesting benefits. 15. Be Grateful, Not Critical The gratitude attitude. Be grateful for other peoples success!
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16. Remove Motivational Blocks Forever Turn problems into procedures. Eradicate repeated motivational blocks. 17. Look for Mentors. Mentors provide working models. Mentors confirm principles. Mentors inspire and challenge us. 18. Have built-in Personal incentives Incentives work for others why not you? Plan incentives to satisfy your own personal needs as well as the needs of others. Use incentives to motivate your motivation! Yes, you can be motivated all the time when you understand the laws of motivation.
Tired of Being Sick and Tired?

Did you know that much sickness is psychosomatic? My background is in theology and I have studied Greek. Psychosomatic comes from two Greek words (I know a little Greek, he runs a delicatessen downtown ). Here is the meaning: psycho means mind and soma means body. This means that your mind or thinking affects the health of your body. Happiness and peace of mind are keys to peace of body (or health). Think of the word disease. It comes from the words disease or lacking ease. If you are lacking ease mentally, you are living under undue stress, which will impact your health. I have found that unhappiness and depression affect ones health.
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Depression means to lessen the strength of, through a state of unhappiness and hopelessness. It is defined in the Encarta Dictionary as a psychiatric disorder showing symptoms such as persistent feelings of hopelessness, dejection, poor concentration, lack of energy, inability to sleep, and, sometimes, suicidal tendencies. DEPRESSION IS THE PITS! You dont have to be depressed. There is hope! Happiness and Health have arrived!!! Thats why you are reading this book. It is not by chance that you are reading it. Its your date with destiny. Your mental attitude is the master key to being happy, being healthy and feeling terrific. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he If you think healthy, you will be healthy!
The Man Who Laughed His Way To Health

Mr. Norman Cousins is known as the man who laughed his way to health. Following is a short part of his story.
Told that he had little chance of surviving, Cousins developed a recovery program incorporating mega-doses of Vitamin C, along with a positive attitude, love, faith, hope, and laughter induced by Marx Brothers films. I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep, he reported. When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would switch on the motion picture projector again and, not infrequently, it would lead to another pain-free interval. Cousins received the Albert Schweitzer Prize in 1990having survived years longer than his doctors predicted: 10 years after his first heart attack, 16 years after his collagen illness, and 26 years after his
doctors first diagnosed his heart disease.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Cousins
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He Beat Cancer
Since we are considering the lemon laws as related to the automotive industry, I want to introduce you to Horatio Alger Award inductee and founder of Southeast Toyota, Mr. Jim Moran. I was introduced to this outstanding individual through my position as a corporate trainer at Toyota Mall of Georgia. Mr. Moran was diagnosed with cancer in 1964 and was given only a 10% chance of living. He beat cancer, is still alive, wealthy and well, as of this writing. In his bio, written to support his induction into the Horatio Alger organization, which I have included in this book, it says: HE BEAT CANCER! I like that! Mr. Moran is a real competitor, not just in business and moneymaking, which he has made a boatload of, but he is also a competitor in life. At 87 years of age, he goes to work daily and is one of the most generous men in the world. I am presently reading his book entitled JIM MORAN The Courtesy Man. WOW what a story. The long and the short of it is that with the right knowledge and mindset, you can prosper (be happy) and live in health (be healthy) as your mind, will and emotions prosper (feel terrific). Mr. Morans primary business, Southeast Toyota Distributors, has been constantly voted as one of the best places to work in America, according to Fortune Magazine. That is no easy accomplishment in the highly competitive business world.
Outstanding Achievement
Mr. Jim Moran has certainly made lemonade by being inducted into the Horatio Alger Association. The Horatio Alger Association of
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Distinguished Americans, founded in 1947, which continues to fulfill its mission of honoring the achievements of outstanding individuals in our society who have succeeded in spite of adversity. You, too, can learn to live by the laws of motivation and make lemonade when life hands you lemons!
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Chapter 3
THE JOSEPH FACTOR

What is this dream that you have?
Jacob, Josephs Father
I have chosen to make the Hebrew patriarch, Joseph, the central character in this book, to give you someone to whom you can relate. We tend to relate to characters better than to just facts or information. I also chose him because he had his share of adversity (lemons) out of which he always found the greater benefit. You could say he made lemonade. Joseph lived a life of experiences or challenges that are filled with ancient, timeless, wisdom. All truly successful people have learned to borrow and digest wisdom from the giants of the past. Joseph is one of those giants. First of all, you must understand that Joseph is not a religious figure! He was a Renaissance man that we can relate to in our contemporary culture. Renaissance, according to the Thesaurus Dictionary, is defined as: rebirth, new start, new beginning, reawakening, resurgence, second chance. I call Joseph a Renaissance man because he was a multi-dimensional innovator.
Josephs Resume
Joseph learned to make lemonade and eventually became a very successful, effective and powerful individual.
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Following is his resume: CEO VISIONARY LEADER INTERPRETER OF DREAMS SUCCESSFUL ENTREPRENEUR SUCCESS COACH PROJECT MANAGER ADMINISTRATIVE EXECUTIVE CORPORATE TRAINER STRATEGIC PLANNER POLITICIAN PRIME MINISTER HUMANITARIAN COMMISSIONED SALESMAN MARKET ANALYST (with immense understanding of his markets) Just as Joseph lived a happy, productive life, so can you.
But, I Am Too Negative To Be Happy

Now I want to introduce you to a modern-day dreamer who embodied THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE. The man is the late W. Clement Stone. They called him Mr. PMA (POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE). He was one of the most positive men to ever walk planet earth. Why did I choose Mr. Stone? Because his life depicts the Joseph Factor to me. Like Joseph, he had hard times, but was promoted to a place of prominence in honor through a positive mental attitude and by holding unto his dreams. Mr. Stone was known for saying, I feel happy, I feel healthy, and
I feel terrific, every morning when he woke up. Well, even if you dont like the hype about being positive, Mr. Stone lived to be over one hundred years of age and died as a happy billionaire THATS TERRIFIC! He lived a long, rich, happy life. Money is good, isnt it? He was known as the poor kid who made it big! You do not have to remain a negative person, because you can change your mental attitude by being renewed in the attitude of your mind. You can be happy! Mr. Stones PMA philosophy has had such an impact on my life, I want to share some of his philosophy with you on a few of the following pages. Remember, he died as a happy billionaire. If you tend to be a negative person, I encourage you to draw on the life of Mr. Stone. His PMA is contagious!
MR. STONES PHILOSOPHY
Be Generous!
Be generous! Give to those whom you love; give to those who love you; give to the fortunate; give to the unfortunate; yesgive especially to those to whom you dont want to give. You will receive abundance for your giving. The more you givethe more you will have! Give a smile to everyone you meet (smile with your eyes) and youll smile and receive smiles. . . Give a kind word (with a kindly thought behind the word) you will be kind and receive kind words. Give time for a worthy cause (with eagerness)you will be worthy and richly rewarded.
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Give hope (the magic ingredient for success)you will have hope and be made hopeful. Give encouragement (the incentive to action)you will have courage and be encouraged. Give a pleasant response (the neutralizer of irritants)you will be pleasant and receive pleasant responses. Give good thoughts (natures character builder)you will be good and the world will have good thoughts for you. Be generous! Give! To get more, you have to give more!
Reference: From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved March 5, 2006
MY LEMON
A LESSON FROM W. CLEMENT STONE:
AID FLASHBACK!
I spent one of the most exciting weeks of my life in Salt Lake City attending AVA Activity Vector Analysis Personality training with Mr. Art Neiman Sr. I was the 195th trained AVA analyst in the world. Mr. Neiman spent several decades working closely with the great W. Clement Stone. WOW! I would love to have been a fly on the wall there. The stories Mr. Neiman shared about Mr. Stone were timeless and consistent with my research. Mr. Stone was known for saying, I feel happy, I feel healthy, and I feel terrific, every morning when he woke up, and for leading others in this chant. Well, whether you agree with his affirmation or not, Mr. Stone lived to be over one hundred years of age and died as a happy billionaire THATS TERRIFIC! He lived a long, rich, happy life.
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Putting the lesson in a Box

LESSON 1
PURPOSE!
3 Lemon
2. The Lemon Laws 3. The Joseph Factor
Laws
1. Happiness is Your Divine Right!
Extract The Good: The purpose for your life on earth is to be happy, healthy and feel terrific.

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EPISODE
PITS!
Pits Are No Fun!

To be intimate with a foolish friend is like going to bed to a razor.
Ben Franklin
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Chapter 4
NO FRIENDSKNOW FRIENDS
In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends
John C. Collins
An analogy of the pit is when you encounter false friends in life. Im sure you have heard the saying: With friends like these, who needs enemies? False friends with ulterior motives are some giantsize lemons. Most of us have met them in every shape, color, sex, style and size. Since we live on a planet with all kinds of fruits, nuts and flakes, you might as well get used to them. One of the deepest pits in life is to trust in false friends. The purpose of life is happiness, but you must beware of pits or pitfalls. Have you ever said, My life is the pits? The pit is the place where you hit rock bottom. The pit of life is where you find yourself when everything seems to be going wrong and your dreams are starting to fade. The pit is where your heart is broken into a million little pieces by what Ben Franklin calls foolish friends. Thats pit-i-full! Heres hope! You can come out of the pit alive! All happy people have learned that you go through the pit on your way to the palace. You will meet some real friends that will stick closer than a brother, and they will give you their shirt. However, there are normally so few
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that they could hold their annual meeting in the back seat of a compact car. Beware of false friends with ulterior motives!
Its A Family Affair

One child grows up to be somebody that just loves to learn, another child grows up to be somebody that just loves to burn (a little Sly Stone for kicks-) the moral of the story: you never know how a family member will turn out or respond to you. The fact that someone is your natural flesh and blood does not guarantee real friendship. Remember the Disney cartoon Beauty and The Beast? Love and happiness often come from unexpected places. The proverbial beast often has your best interest at heart and makes the best friend. In our political scratch my back and Ill scratch yours culture, we often hook up with the wrong people because we have the wrong motives. Beware of people who are always smiling in your face, while they say, Ive got your back! They are often Back-Stabbers!
A Dysfunctional Family
Many people are unhappy because of unrealistic expectations from family members. The fact is that the annals of history have proven that family can be some of our worst enemies. For example: Marvin Gaye, one of the most talented R&B singers of all times, was murdered in cold blood by his dad. WOW. To go way back, check out Cain and Abel. The first murder in history was brother on brother, or you could saya family affair. Stop looking for happiness by way of family!
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Joseph came from a dysfunctional family. Josephs father showed him partiality, partly because Josephs mother, Rachel, was dropdead beautiful. Joseph was also his favorite child and he certainly treated him that way in front of all of his brothers. Thats a recipe for a family feud. Here is a little background to help you understand Josephs family. Joseph was raised in the day when polygamy (having more than one wife) was acceptable. He had a different mother than most of his brothers. Josephs dad, Jacob, taken by Rachels beauty, worked for seven years to earn the right to marry her. Jacob was lied to by Rachels father, Laban, and given her ugly sister, Leah, instead. Im sure you have heard the saying that Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone! Leah was ugly!!! I am not being mean. Its documented in the chronicles of history for all to read. Leah was ugly and Rachel was beautiful.
A Hard Days Night. . .

So Josephs dad had to work another seven years, as was the custom of the day, before Rachels dad would give Rachel in marriage. Because of her beauty, Jacob did it. Its amazing what men will do for a beauty. Jacobs theme song could have been: Its been a hard days night and Ive been working like a dog. I have met a few Labans in my lifetime. How about you? Anyhow, Josephs father loved Joseph more than any of his other sons because he was the child of his old age by his beautiful wife, and he made him an elaborately embroidered coat. When his brothers realized that their father loved Joseph more than he did them, they
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grew to hate himthey wouldnt even speak to him. Joseph had a dream. When he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. He said, Listen to this dream I had. We were all out in the field gathering bundles of wheat. All of a sudden my bundle stood straight up and your bundles circled around it and bowed down to mine. Joseph was not winning any friends or influencing people. His brothers said, So! Youre going to rule us? Youre going to boss us around? And they hated him more than ever because of his dreams and the way he talked. Joseph had another dream and told it to his brothers and father: I dreamed another dreamthe sun, the moon and eleven stars bowed down to me! His father reprimanded him: Whats with all this dreaming? Am I, your mother, and your brothers all supposed to bow down to you? Now his brothers were really jealous: but his father brooded over the whole matter.
Beware When Sharing Your Dreams!

WATCH WHO YOU SHARE YOUR DREAMS WITH! Make sure they are real friends OR YOU MAY END UP IN A PIT! The story of Joseph continues: As Joseph came to them in the fields, they had cooked up a plot to kill him. The brothers were saying, Here comes that dreamer. Lets kill him and throw him into one of these old cisterns (pits). We can say that a vicious animal ate him. Well see what his dreams amount to. Notice that their intent was to kill the dream by killing the dreamer. When Joseph reached his brothers, they ripped off the fancy coat he was wearing, grabbed him,
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and threw him into a pit. The pit was dry; there wasnt any water in it. Then they sat down to eat their supper. Looking up, they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites on their way from Gilead, their camels loaded with spices, ointments, and perfumes to sell in Egypt. Judah said, Brothers, what are we going to get out of killing our brother and concealing the evidence? Lets sell him to the Ishmaelites, but lets not kill himhe is, after all, our brother, our own flesh and blood. His brothers agreed. By that time, the Midianite traders were passing by. His brothers pulled Joseph out of the pit and sold him for twenty pieces of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took Joseph with them down to Egypt.
Dreams Can Be Costly!

From the pit to slavery! What a promotion! Josephs own family members (his brothers) sold him as a slave because they were jealous of his dreams. Now, what did you say about coming from a dysfunctional family? If you think your family has problems, just check out Josephs family. This should give you hope. WOW, talk about life handing you lemons! Joseph could have started a lemonade business! Sharing his dream nearly cost him his life. Joseph learned to take the lemons and make lemonade by exchanging his life for his dream. Whether you have a big dream, a small dream, or no dream, you will pay the same price or exchange: your life. I call the exchange of life for the fulfillment of dreams: Making Lemonade! You go through it to get to it! The pain, loneliness, rejection, frustration and tough times are all a part of the process of
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laying down your life for your dream. You must exchange your life to see the dream realized and be happy. Dr. Martin Luther King shared his dream as a young African American civil rights leader, and life handed him the ultimate lemon from which much lemonade has been made in the arena of civil rights. All his life, he remained committed to his dream. Dr. King certainly understood the power of a dream and the commitment necessary to see that dream realized. Consider this quote from his I Have A Dream Speech: Now, I say to you today my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal If you dont think the dream is being realized, examine the life of Condoleezza Rice, a black female who became provost of Stanford University, and later Secretary of State to the most powerful nation on the planet. Another courageous dreamer by the name of Rosa Parks couldnt sit on the front seat of the bus in 1955 without being sent to jail. Dr. Rice reminds us: who wants to ride on a bus when AIR FORCE ONE is available? Yes! Dreams do come true! Thank you, Dr. King!
Dreams Are Not Community Property

As Joseph learned as a teenager, dreams are not community property and you must watch whom you share your dreams with, or you, too, may end up in a pit.
Chapter 5
UNHAPPY PEOPLE
Most people lead lives of quiet desperation
Henry David Thoreau
Most people that are unhappy lack a clear understanding of how this interesting gift called life really works. Their mantra is LIFE IS THE PITS! Happy people say life is a gift, but unhappy people call life the pits. Life is the pits, huh? This is always the indication of an unhappy individual. How many happy people do you hear saying life is the pits? Unhappy people are always looking for utopia, the perfect world, the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. They live for the happy day when nothing goes wrong, yet they curse the here and now. Thats what I call insanity. Ben Franklin has said: Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. If you want to come out of unhappiness, quit cursing the darkness and turn on the light!
All The Lonely People

All the lonely people, where do they come from? Unhappy people fill our streets, bars, schools, homes, and society in general, today. They lead lives of quiet desperation as Henry David Thoreau
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has so eloquently said. The solution to unhappiness is simple. Happiness is a choice. Knowing this, I am amazed by how many unhappy people there are today. You can climb out of the pit of unhappiness. I am here to help through this book.
Life Is Not Always Fair

Happy people have learned that in this world you will have some trouble. In life, it will occasionally rain on your parade, and junk happens, so one must learn to cope. This is not negative its called reality. I am not a negative person, but I try to be pragmatic. Have you ever heard of Murphys Law? Basically, it says, If anything can go wrong, it will. I do not live by Murphys Law. I live by the law of positive belief or faith. When Murphy happens, you can overcome his law by the law of positive faith and a positive mental attitude just make lemonade. But please understand that in this negative, cursed world, junk happens naturally because we live in a hostile environment. For example: you dont have to plant weeds, because they grow naturally if you neglect your garden. Planted any weed lately? Now Im not talking about that! By the way, I have a tree in my office that is called a money tree. People often ask me if it is Marijuana? I tell them no, its whats called a money tree. One guy said, I bet it ishint, hint So to be happy, you need to be realistic in your expectations. If you want to be happy, you must decide to be and act happy, no matter what the situation. A lesson that will serve you well, if you believe it, was coined by
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the great Dr. Robert Schuller. Here it is: LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS FAIR, BUT GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD! When it rains on your parade, dont throw in the towel! You can consider it pure joy and make lemonade. Joy is actually a spiritual force or spiritual strength. Joy is not based on external circumstances but on your inward belief system. Joy is a decision, not a feeling of happiness. When life is not fair, it helps to have some spiritual strength. Joy comes from the inside, not from circumstances.
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Chapter 6
LEMONADE IS GOOD!
When Fate Hands You A Lemon, Make Lemonade!
Dale Carnegie
I want you to pause and use your imagination for a moment. Imagine a huge glass of delicious chilled lemonade over crushed ice with a juicy slice of lemon on the rim of the glass (some people like a little salt on the rim of the glass; I know what you are thinking Margarita Time). Lemonade is cool, sweet, light, refreshing and fun to drink. Lemonade is good! (Check out the five recipes in the appendix of this book and enjoy a refreshing glass). Most people would agree, especially on a hot day, that lemonade is good. However, we often forget it takes bitter lemons to make sweet lemonade. Isnt it amazing what lemons, water and sugar (or in our generation; artificial sweetener) can produce. When the bitter is made sweet, its really good, isnt it?
How Sweet It Is!

Just think about it for a moment. Recall a bitter situation maybe a financial setbackthat you eventually turned around. The situation was bitter, but the turn-around was sweet! Poverty is bitter, but prosperity, HOW SWEET IT IS! Prosperity is always sweeter when it is
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turned into prosperity from the bitterness of deep poverty. Money is good, but the real truth is you should not have to wait for money or prosperity to be happy. The best gifts in life dont cost a cent! Yes, I am serious. Check this out. It will blow your mind.
EIGHT GIFTS THAT DONT COST A CENT

by Author Unknown 1. THE GIFT OF LISTENING... But, you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listen. 2. THE GIFT OF AFFECTION... Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends. 3. THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER... Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, I love to laugh with you. 4. THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE... It can be a simple Thanks for the help note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life. 5. THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT... A simple and sincere, You look great in red, You did a super job, or That was a wonderful meal, can make someones day. 6. THE GIFT OF A FAVOR... Every day, go out of your way to do something kind. 7. THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE... There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.
8. THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION... The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really its not that hard, to say, Hello or Thank You. We can give and receive gifts each and every day. Gifts do not have to be monetary in value, and the thoughts above bring out this point. How many gifts will you give this week? I am always amused by the people that think they can buy happiness. Think about it! Money is good, but money alone will not bring total fulfillment, because it is more fulfilling to give than to receive.
Sweeter Than Sweet!

Happy people with real life experience understand that the bitter can be made sweeter than the sweet that has never been bitter. The more bitter the bitter, the sweeter the sweet. WOW! Wonder of wonders. Let me illustrate: Whats so good about food? Being hungry! If you fast (go without food) for one day, the next morning you will eat anything that does not eat you first! Food is always awesome or better after fasting. The bitterness of hunger makes food taste even better, or should I say sweeter. But, at times, we have all eaten so much that we did not want to see food for a while no matter how good it was.
How About Sex?

How about sex? Whats so good about it? Lets not even go there Psychologists say that if a man is deprived of food and sex, two of the strongest human needs, for any extended period of time,
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after which both food and sex are offered to the deprived soul, he will always eat the food first. However, after wiping his mouth, he will quickly ask if the other part of the deal is still on the table. You know what Im saying; I dont have to paint any pictures.
Whats Good About This?

Joseph learned to get out of his pit of misery and embraced the lemonade principle. After Joseph was promoted to one of the most powerful positions in the world, he looked back on all of the unhappy situations, realizing that it was all a means to produce much good and preserve many lives. He was only seventeen when life started to hand him some giant-sized lemons. WOW! Just think of what Joseph must have felt like as a young man going through rejection from his brothers, purpose derailed, the pain of the pit, and the prison of limitations. Through it all, he made lemonade and so can you! So, I encourage you to look at your unhappy situation and start asking yourself; Whats good about this pit? Not sarcastically, but objectively. The truth is that life tends to be a bitter, then sweet, experience. Most unhappy people have not accepted that. They expect only good things to happen and make those good things the basis for their happiness. I dont want to burst your bubble, but you cant have your cake and eat it too. Even though we tend to not like the tests and trials we go through, we grow through them and good often is the net result and life is better and richer, if we learn to make lemonade.
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Decide To Be Happy!
Joseph had every opportunity to be unhappy, yet he decided to be happy. He chose to be happy. As we have already seen by looking at the life of W. Clement Stone who lived his life to the fullest in every sense of the word, Happiness is a choice! The principles of this book have worked to make unhappy people happy and bitter situations sweet in the lives of those who chose to make lemonade. Life hands everyone his/her fair share of lemons. The positive side to this dilemma is it takes lemons to make lemonade. Remember, lemons alone are bitter and tart, but lemonade is sweet and refreshing.
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LESSON 2
PITS!
3 Lemon
2. Unhappy People! 3. Lemonade is Good!
Laws
1. No Friends/Know Friends!
Extract The Good: Be careful with whom you share your dreams . . . you may end up in a pit!

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EPISODE
PRISONS!
Choose To Be Free!
When we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of Gods children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing..., Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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Chapter 7
CHOOSE TO BE FREE!
Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
Ben Franklin
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE! Nor is it cheap. There is always a price to be paid or a test to pass. LIFE IS A TEST! When you pass a test, you are free to be happy, be healthy and feel terrific. When you fail, well, you are not so happy. Show me a happy failure and I will show you a failure! Some people continue to fail, never commit to changing, and yet expect a different result of success, freedom and achievement. Remember, Ben Franklin said, Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Its time to make some quality decisions to change some things in your life. Its time to be free.
School Daze!
Remember school days. Schools can be like prisons where kids feel like failures. Could this have something to do with all of the school shootings? Some, when failing in life or in school, feel like going postal! (Remember the days when the fired postal employee came back gun in hand) I think teachers should pay special attention to those who are struggling in school. School is tough enough in itself, but man
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when you are failing you feel like a bubble-headed booby! A real dummy! I am not a psychologist, but I still remember the feeling of incarceration from some of my school years, especially middle school. Bible College, well, that was like a glorified prison... There must be a better way to educate children. I think that a wise teacher makes learning fun. You probably still have some nightmares about the bad-hair days in school. I call it the school daze, because I was often in a daze, wondering what I was doing there. Heres a good one: There was a kid in school caught gazing out of the window by the teacher while he was lecturing. The teacher, intending to embarrass this kid, screamed at him, John what are you doing staring out of the window? John replied, I was just thinking. The teacher responded: Dont you know that you are not supposed to think in school. WOW, we are often our own worst enemy! Ever have a dream of rushing off to school with just your underwear on, or some other crazy, embarrassing dream? I do, once in a while, even though I have been out of high school for I wont say We need solutions for our schools. We have babies making babies and kids killing teachers. Mercy, Mercy me Perhaps if parents would start to bring up happy, healthy kids and give them the understanding that freedom is a choice and freedom is not free, it would stop the shootings. I think it would. I have never seen a happy child involved in shooting classmates and teachers. Have you? Perhaps you should give this book to every principal you know.
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Happy, Healthy, Terrific Schools

What if every principal started the day by having all students say: I feel happy, healthy & terrific? I dont think it would hurt or make matters any worse. Kids with guns shooting folks are not saying, I feel happy. Anyhow, we humans are constantly being tested by situations and circumstances. To make it plain, life is LIKE a big school, but the school of life does not have to be a prison. You dont have to shoot your way out of it. That is not recipe for happiness! Leave your guns at home, please! Every day is a gift and an opportunity to learn new lessons.
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Chapter 8
LIFE IS A TEST
Every day is a good day.
Yun-Men
I want to share with you how to learn some real lessons that will help you to be happy and to get out of any prison in which you may find yourself. Remember, freedom is always a choice, but you must learn the lesson and pass the test. Have you ever gotten up on a day off and thought of all of the things you had to do to catch up? And while you were getting ready to enter the rat race, the intuitive thought about todays lesson came to you: YOU NEED TO LEARN TO RELAX! Come out of the prison of stress! Then comes the test of someone pulling out in front of you in traffic. If your horn was a weapon, many would have been slaughtered that day! Now you are back in schoolthe school of life. Every day is an opportunity to learn, no matter whats happening good, bad, or ugly. And remember, you will be tested, and you really dont know if you learned the lesson until you pass the test.
Life Is A Test
Life is a test. But the simple truth of the test of life is that the test is not rocket science! It is pretty simple, and it all comes down to a
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measurement of character. The test reveals your character or who you really are. I have seen many people make positive happy statements during good times, and as soon as life hands them some lemons and a marital, financial or family challenge hits them personally, they come apart like a cheap suit. Tough times and times of testing bring out what we are really made of. Les Brown said, At the end of a long tough day of testing when you get ready to relax for the evening, say to yourself: This has not been a bad day its been a character building day. Tough times reveal to us what we have or have not learned. Have you learned to be happy in tough situations on the character building days? The tragedy is that many people over fifty years of age have still not learned to be happy! Hey! It does not take that long to learn to be happy. You dont learn anything from the second or third kick of the mule. My advice to you is that you develop the attitude that every day is a good day! Start by saying daily: I Feel Happy, I Feel Healthy, I Feel Terrific, even when you feel lousy.
Words Control Feelings

One lesson you must learn is that words control feelings. Most of us have learned to let feelings control our words and our lives. We say what we feel instead of what we want. Learn to say what you want and you will get more of what you want! Ask yourself daily: WHATS GREAT ABOUT TODAY? Here is some good advice to get you started: Every day that you wake up without a chalk outline around your body is a great day! Tough times will produce joy and happiness if we learn to make
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lemonade while going through the tough time or the test. Tough times are where character is tested and formed. You can learn to make the best of bad situations financially, emotionally, physically, relationally, and socially. Are you in a sour relationship, a dysfunctional family, financially challenged? Welcome to breathing! Happiness and freedom are a choice that you and you alone can make. You can choose to make lemonade!
Yeah, But I Had A Dead-Beat Dad!

Now, let me illustrate how tough times do not dictate who you become, but how you respond to tough times determines who you become. I love this story: Two kids grew up in the same home with an abusive, alcoholic, dead-beat dad. Now they were both adults. At the age of fifty-one, one son had become an alcoholic and the other, by the age of forty-nine, had become a millionaire and the owner of a successful business. An interviewer asked the first son, how and why he became an alcoholic. He said, With a dead-beat dad like mine, how could I be anything else? One week later, the same person interviewed his successful brother and asked the same question but the interviewer related the question to how he became such a successful entrepreneur. The successful son, likewise, replied, With a dead-beat dad like mine, how could I be anything else? Both young men were handed lemons. One became bitter while the other became better and made lemonade. Its not chance, but a choice! One son chose to be free and succeed; the other chose the prison of limitation. The alcoholic dad was lifes big test for both men.
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Do not let the past with a dead-beat dad or an alcoholic mother determine your present happiness. I believe you can and will pass the test!
Cramming Does Not Work

For you to pass a test, you prepare or study. Most of us live our lives like college students who party the time away, then wait until the day (or night) before the exam and burn the midnight oil with coffee, energy drinks, or anything else that will keep us awake. In short, WE CRAM!!! The one lesson you must learn is; cramming doesnt work in real life. Have you ever been in college, running hard, eating junk food, not exercising, partying, wasting time watching too much TV, and finding yourself cramming the night before the test? You know what I mean. You prepare and you succeed; you fail to prepare and youwellfail. It has been said: Spectacular performance is always preceded by unspectacular preparation! Preparation is the major key to passing the tests of life. Joseph prepared himself and applied the right principles in each negative situation, and earned an A+ with his life. He somehow saw that life was not rocket science and found happiness in each situation. He believed that each situation was a test, ONLY A TEST! Mr. Jim Moran, founder and owner of Southeast Toyota has said, The future belongs to those who prepare for it. Preparation is the major key to passing the test of life.
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MY LEMON
A LESSON FROM JIM MORAN:
AID FLASHBACK!
Mr. Jim Moran, founder and owner of Southeast Toyota has said, The future belongs to those who prepare for it. Mr. Moran is legendary in the automotive business, a member of the Horatio Alger Club, and a recent inductee into the Automotive Hall of Fame. He sent me a personal autographed copy of his book, JIM MORAN - THE COURTESY MAN, thanking me for my training and the help I had given John Williams, the owner of Toyota Mall of Georgia and Southeast Toyota. I was greatly humbled and honored by this act of kindness from such a man of great stature. Mr. Moran carries a big stick! And has a big heart. God bless Jim Moran!
I Feel Like Im In Prison

You say, Yeah but, Bernard, I dont like this situation, I feel like Im in a prison. You may be in a prison. Maybe you are in a prison of the mind or emotions. Your thoughts have imprisoned you. The mental and emotional prisons that millions live in hour by hour in quiet desperation can be tough. Are you really free? Most people live in mental or emotional prisons. They are not physically incarcerated, but they are mentally and emotionally locked away. If you are a prisoner or an ex-prisoner, there is hope for you. If you are in prison, keep a positive, productive mental attitude, like Joseph did. If you are recently out of prison, you will need to transition
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back into society effectively. Much of this transition is mental, due to the mindset that is developed while incarcerated. Most unhappy people always have a poor self-concept. In fact, I was a full-time counselor for over ten years and never did I encounter an unhappy person with a healthy self-concept. Lets take the chains of low self-esteem off NOW. You can come out and Be Happy, Be Healthy, and Feel Terrific!
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Chapter 9
ARE YOU STUCK?

If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy
John Heywood
Many people are simply stuck in a prison of self-destructive patterns because of the negative self-concept they hold. Remember that self-concept is the way you see yourself or how much you like yourself. This negative self-concept can be changed if you understand the process. You can believe in yourself and become a high achiever! Its about making the best of bad circumstances, like prisons or Making Lemonade! Transitioning from prison to a life of freedom can be tough. I believe that the transition can successfully be made. Prisoners, in general, face more difficult and problematic transitions as they return to the free world. The same is true when you have been in the prison of a bad, unhappy situation, financial scarcity or an abusive relationship. Mental strongholds are developed while in prison that must be destroyed and pulled down. You must destroy the limiting mindset of wrong thinking and move ahead in freedom.
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Who Are You?

In many cases, you really dont know who you are or what you are capable of until your back is up against the wall by being forced into a bad situation or a prison. When you find yourself forced into a terrible situation, you find out who you really are. Tough situations reveal true character. Josephs greatness is revealed in how he handled himself in lifes tough circumstances. Who are you anyhow? What will you do in a bad situation that is threatening to steal your dream? Just the thought of prison can cause heart failure for those not prepared for it. The late ENRON founder, Ken Lay, died of a heart attack while awaiting sentencing. Many believe the thought of going to prison was more than he could handle and his heart was simply overwhelmed. I dont wish that on my worst enemy. Others are as tough as nails and make the best of it. I shudder to mention him because of his insane character, but think about Saddam insane, oops, Hussein. The guy seems to be as tough as nails. He seems to have found a way to cope with going from the PALACE to the PRISON, for the time being. Tough people seem to find a way to survive. Are you going to be a survivor or a casualty? How will you respond in a terrible situation? Who are you?
Look For The Good

I heard a story of two boys who were thrown into a barn full of manure as a punishment for breaking a window on their mean grandfathers farm. Since the grandfather could not seem to get the truth out of them about who threw the rock, he decided to punish both of
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them. Were your parents that way? Everybody gets tortured until somebody talks. The grandfather came out to check on the boys after about two hours. One boy was sitting on a milking stool in the corner with a long face, holding his nose, moping. The other kid had a shovel and was frantically digging through the manure. The mean grandfather said to the boy with the shovel, Boy what the heck are you doing now? The boy smiled and said, Grandpa, with all of this manure, there must be a pony in this barn. Now thats what I call the Making Lemonade mindset! This kid would not let his mind be imprisoned or controlled by a negative situation. Some of you are thinking...lots of manure...that sounds like my life. Just a little humor. So much for manurenow, for a cleaner lesson, here are some quotes or affirmations that will help you through some of the tougher days when you feel like you have been thrown into the barn: Any day above ground is a great day! Any day I wake up without a chalk outline around my body is a great day! Its not a bad day today! Its a character-building day! Good affirmations give you something practical that you can sink your teeth into when you are dealing with the prisons of life, instead of just cussing your boss, the company or the circumstance. What you believe is revealed in the words you speak and actions you take during a crisis.
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A Real Desperate Housewife

Lets take another look at Joseph in a tough situation where life was handing him some lemons. After Joseph had been taken to Egypt by the Ishmaelites, he was bought by Potiphar, an Egyptian, one of Pharaohs officials and the manager of Pharaohs household. Joseph ended up living in the home of his Egyptian master. Potiphar became very fond of Joseph and made him his personal aide. He put him in charge of all his personal affairs, turning everything over to him. All Potiphar had to concern himself with was eating three meals a day. By the way, Joseph was a strikingly handsome young man. As time went on, his masters wife became infatuated with Joseph and one day said, Sleep with me. He wouldnt do it. He said to his masters wife, Look, with me here, my master doesnt give a second thought to anything that goes on herehes put me in charge of everything he owns. He treats me as an equal. The only thing he hasnt turned over to me is you. Youre his wife, after all! How could I violate this trust?
Fatal Attraction
Zelikah, the wife of Potiphar, admired Joseph from the start, and had a fatal attraction for him. One account notes that Joseph was possibly the most attractive man alive at that time. Remember that Josephs mother Rachel had it all. As the Commodores, the 70s funk group would say: she would make an old man wish for younger days. Zelikah at first attempted to seduce Joseph by arraying him in fine garments, putting before him the most delicious viands, and speaking to him in amorous terms. These means failing, she used threats, but
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without effect, for Joseph remained inflexible. History teaches that the vehemence of her unrequited passion soon impaired her health. Remember peace of mind, peace of body?
Sex And The City!

On one occasion, when some noble ladies of Egypt had come to see her, she told her maid to give them oranges and sent Joseph in to wait upon them. The women, unable to turn their eyes from Joseph, cut their fingers while peeling the oranges, and when Zelikah asked them the cause, they answered that they could not help looking at Joseph. She then said: What would you do if, like myself, you had him every day before your eyes? Zelikah told Joseph that she was ready to kill her husband so that he might marry her legally. Zelikah promised that if he would yield to her, she would embrace his religion and induce all the Egyptians to do the same. She next brought Joseph into her chamber in the inner part of the house and placed him on her bed, over which was the image of her Egyptian god. Then she covered her face with a veil and invited Joseph to have sex with her.
Happiness = Doing The Right Thing

The net result is that she pestered him day after day after day, but he stood his ground. He refused to go to bed with her. One day, when he came to the house to do his work, none of the household servants happened to be there. She grabbed him by his coat, saying, Sleep with me! He left his coat in her hand and ran out of the house. When she realized that he had left his coat in her hand and ran outside, she called to her house servants: Look this Hebrew punk
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shows up and before you know it, hes trying to seduce us. He tried to make love to me, but I yelled as loud as I could. (Thats the Smalls paraphrase version ) Joseph would not compromise. He did the right thing, which made him happier in the long haul. We are always happier when we do the right thing in life.
Rape!!!
She went on to say, With all my yelling and screaming; he left his coat beside me here and ran outside. She kept his coat right there until his master came home. She told him the same story. She said, The Hebrew slave, the one you brought to us, (notice how she made it all his fault, kind of like a poor hiring decision) came after me and tried to use me as his plaything. When I yelled and screamed, he left his coat with me and ran outside. When Josephs master heard his wifes story, he was furious. He took Joseph and threw him into the jail where the kings prisoners were locked up. But there in jail, the head jailer put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners he ended up managing the whole operation. As the old saying goes, you cant keep a good man down.
Joseph Makes Lemonade

The head jailer gave Joseph free rein, never even checked on him; whatever he did, it worked out for the best. By the way, I find it interesting that Potiphar believed his goofy wife instead of Joseph, who had been his loyal aide. Im sure this was not the first game that she had played like this. Joseph found himself in a very bad situation when his boss beautiful wife invited him to have sex with her (now I know that some of you are thinking, Whats so bad about that
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situation watch it now!) How many guys would pass that test? Would you? Particularly when you are invited to come and get it. She was probably looking at his six-pack and thinking about her old man who needed his daily double-dose of Viagra to keep up with her And remember, Joseph was a handsome young man with his hormones working overtime.
This Dream That You Have?

I met Mr. Peter Daniels, the Australian self-made millionaire, and spent several days with him during a convention I sponsored in Anchorage, Alaska. The first night he brought a powerful message entitled What is This Dream That You Have. He really opened up the life of Joseph in a pragmatic, contemporary way.
MY LEMON
A LESSON FROM PETER DANIELS:
AID FLASHBACK!
Mr. Daniels, a personal friend, is a wealthy Australian entrepreneur with a third grade education, and was, at one time, the number one motivational speaker in Australia. I had him do a convention for us in Anchorage, Alaska and found him to be the real deal. He also endorsed my customer service excellence book entitled Thank God Its Sunday! One of his favorite phrases is, TURN BACK ON YOUR DREAM MACHINE! He truly walks his talk that SUCCESS IS THE WILLINGNESS TO BEAR PAIN, not be a pain. His book on How to Handle a Major Crisis became my everpresent companion and helped keep me motivated through an extremely difficult time.
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Joseph was being offered sex by a wealthy, sophisticated, beautiful woman, yet he had the discipline to run and not yield to temptation. Some men would have been running into it, not from it. He ended up in prison, but it is not over yet. It was tight, but right! Because he refused to have sex with a beautiful woman, he was thrown into prison. What is this dream that you have now Joseph? Remember, once imprisoned, it is often hard to transition back to freedom in society. The prison was designed to destroy Josephs dream. When Joseph was thrown into prison, I believe that they threw away the keys and said, forget you. However, because of his principlecentered values and positive mental attitude, he eventually got out and lived a highly productive life. What unhappy prison has lifes circumstances put you into and thrown away the keys? You can come out with a coat of shining colors! You may not be in a physical prison, but does any of this parallel what you have been going through? Here are some keys to getting out or an exit strategy, if you would. You are coming out!
The Prison of Racism

Remember, when we talk about prisons, we are not just talking about literal incarceration. For example, many blacks still live in a prison of RACISM. Now I do believe that some racism still exists in society, but in many cases, it is simply a mindset of the victim of racism. Now I understand that if ten people walked up to you with white hoods and torches, that is more than just mental. BUT WHEN IS THE LAST TIME THAT THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU?
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Much racism is mental! It is a mental prison with the doors of opportunity wide open; however, many are still sitting inside complaining about racial injustice. I believe that we live in a time when we will see the dream of racial equality realized. The big question: Is it how you think or how they think? Thoughts die unborn if not acted upon. Like one guy said, YOU CAN THINK WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST DONT TOUCH ME! We can learn from the process of institutionalization some keys that will help us in life.
Mental Spectators - Strongholds Of The Mind

Are you a mental prisoner? If you are a prisoner to even a single mental spectator or stronghold that gives you thumbs down when you try to improve yourself, then you will give up on your quest for self-improvement. A mental spectator is like a demon or stronghold of the mind that puts you down every time you try to improve your life. A stronghold is an established way of thinking. Mental spectators stand upon the strongholds, if you would, and declare your limitations when you try to break free and be happy. If you pay attention to mental spectators, your self-concept will remain in the gutter. For example, say that you decide to improve your vocabulary or the way you talk. This improvement will help you understand complicated issues and will also give you confidence to talk more professionally at work. This increased confidence would naturally make you feel better about yourself, and also enhance your job opportunities and increase your income. So you study a vocabulary book, and you learn new words
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and terms. But when you try to use one around another person, your mental spectator stands upon the stronghold of limited thinking, laughs and tells you that you sound phony, like ignorant trash trying to sound smart. Or, like a black person trying to sound white. (Ive been there, done that)
Dont Doubt Yourself!

Instead of controlling your mental spectator, you collapse in a heap at the foot of the stronghold, a vanquished gladiator. Not only are you in prison, THE PRISON IS NOW IN YOU!!! You are bound! Your opponentself-doubt stood on the stronghold of negative thinking made one threatening gesture and down you went. You caved in. The dream of self-improvement died. Worst of all, you added strength to your mental spectators and further established their stronghold, because they thrive on your each and every loss, and you go deeper into bondage. The mind is the arena where this war is fought. You must knock down the stronghold of negative thinking and renew your mind to positive, productive thoughts.
Negative Thoughts
What has happened to you is that negative thoughts caused you to revert from the new, improved behavior (speaking more intelligently) back to an old behavior (speaking as you always have). Ruling the negative thoughts that are keeping you down is a must to get out of any mental prison. Self-doubt cant keep you down if you change your thinking from negative to positive. Negative people who have nothing good to say to you will try to keep you down.
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You can learn to break out of negativity and be happy. Im going to show you how. You are not limited by your gender, age, race or nationality. You are only limited by negative thoughts, which lead to negative words and impotent actions. You can change your thinking and change your life! Oprahs significant other, Mr. Stedman Graham, is one terrific individual. He speaks often of how he had to overcome negativity to succeed in life and business.
MY LEMON
A LESSON FROM STEDMAN GRAHAM:
AID FLASHBACK!
I was honored to be a speaker on a program in Manhattan at the New York Hilton where Stedman Graham (Oprahs significant other) was the keynote speaker. I had the honor of meeting Mr. Graham and chatting with him at my products table. Mr. Graham believes that building effective relationships is the key to success in the 21st century, regardless of your race and gender. Oprah is proof, as Stedman says. I saw Mr. Graham on Larry King Live recently, and I could not help reminiscing on his powerful presentation in New York.
Breaking Limitations
Many are like the little elephant that as a baby was chained to a stake in the ground. The stake and chain had a two-hundred-pound capacity, which limited the elephants freedom to roam about the zoo. The elephant was trained or limited by the environment (the stake and chain). He was chained and limited or imprisoned so he quit
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trying to break free. The problem is that after the elephant was fully grown, weighing over 1000 pounds, he still had that mental limitation of the two-hundred-pound stake and chain. He had been trained by his limitation and his perception had become his reality, when he could have easily broken the limitation with his strength. His weight alone gave him towing capacity to break his limitation. The prison can create mental limitations that linger long after you have been emancipated! The transition starts in mental transformation. I do not believe that prison automatically makes you a psycho! So stop making excuses if you are an ex-prisoner. STOP NOW! Think about Joseph who came out stronger than he went in. Prisons do not, in general, make people crazy. However, for at least some people, prison can produce negative, long-lasting mental chains. Knowing how to turn a negative situation into a positive is a result of knowing how to MAKE LEMONADE. Imprisonment demands it!
Productivity In Prison
Recently, I was watching one of my favorite shows. The show is Larry King Live. LARRY KING IS THE MAN! On this show, Mr. King was interviewing prisoners who were on death row in San Quentin. Many of them had become positive, productive people of faith and were making furniture and so forth. They had become the head and not the tail, even while in prison. Thats what Joseph did. Joseph decided that since he was going to probably be in prison a while, he might as well be a Top Cat in jail. He remembered that the elevator to the top was broken; he had to take the stairs of hard work.
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From Prison To Productivity

When I read this, I cant help but think of the fact that Joseph was extremely successful in transitioning from prison to productivity in society. Perhaps there are principles and patterns that we can learn from to lower the rate of recidivism in our society, a major problem that causes much unhappiness to individual and families in America. Recidivism is defined as the tendency to relapse into a previous undesirable behavior, especially crime. Here is some research that I did on this critical topic that I hope will motivate you to not only be happy, be healthy, and feel terrific, for yourself, but to help others when released from a criminal institution. Lets remember those that are bound. I want to take some time now to help those that have been imprisoned. Remember, Joseph came out with a sound mind and so can you!
It Aint Rocket Science!

Lets face it, LIFE IS GOING TO TOSS YOU SOME LEMONS! The big question is: will you look for the good in the test and make lemonade?
Remember that life is a test!!! It Aint Rocket Science!

It rains on the good and the bad. When it rains on you, will you become bitter or better. You are going through what you are going through, so dont let negative phases faze you! GOD USES LIFES BRUISES! You dont have to be a genius to be happy... This simple book is going to change your life!
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HOW TO GET OUT OF MENTAL PRISON - NOW

1. Ask yourself: whats good about this prison experience? 2. Change the predominant state of your mind from negative to positive. 3. Rip up and throw out negativity. 4. Pull down mental strongholds. 5. Declare war on limiting thoughts. 6. Replace the negative with positive thoughts NOW. 7. Make positive affirmations.
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LESSON 3
PRISONS!
3 Lemon
2. Life Is A Test! 3. Are You Stuck?
Laws
1. Choose To Be Free!
Extract The Good: You are going through what you are going through, so dont let negative phases, faze you! Pass the test and be free!

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EPISODE
PROMOTION!
Breaking Out Of Comfort Zones!

We are the earth shakers of the future, individuals who challenge the norm. We despise the status quo. We believe that its good to break whats not broken only to see if it may be improved. We understand that good is the enemy of best. We believe that winning isnt everything, its the only thing. We believe that Comfort Zones are likened to Hell. We are committed to breaking out of our Comfort Zones!
Bernard Smalls
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Chapter 10
BREAKING OUT OF COMFORT ZONES

Every successful man I have heard of has done the best he could with conditions as he found them...
Edgar Watson Howe
BREAKING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE may be a clich, but its a good one. Promotion in life demands that we leave our comfort zones. I want to take a look at the critical topic of cultivating your selfconcept. This is a major key to being happy, being healthy, and feeling terrific. Self-concept and comfort zones are synonymous (the same). By the age of 18, most of us have developed our self-concepts or Comfort Zones. Self-concept is simply how much you like yourself. To be happy, be healthy, and feel terrific, and be promoted, you must develop a healthy self-concept. Self-concept is not some deep spiritual or psychological thing, it is simply the way you see yourself. Speaking of comfort, as I am writing this chapter I am relaxing with my beautiful wife on our thirty-first wedding anniversary at the RitzCarlton at Reynolds Plantation. WOW! What an awesome place! If you are poverty minded, a place like this could be what you need to break out of your comfort zone and expand your capacity for promotion. Why not go somewhere nice today and challenge your comfort zone? Go check out the local Mercedes dealership or some other fine
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retail store and pay attention to how it feels to expand your comfort zone. You only feel comfortable when operating within your selfconcept. This is why I call it your comfort zone. Joseph never lost sight of the fact that he was destined for greatness and promotion, which kept his self-concept intact. Remember his dream depicted him as a ruler living at the top of the food chain (literally). It takes a healthy self-concept to keep your dream alive when everything goes wrong.
The Power of Self-Concept

Your self-concept is the result of conditioning and past experiences. Many unhappy people have been programmed with erroneous data from childhood, which affects their beliefs, conclusions, and behaviors especially their self-limiting beliefs! A self-limiting belief is something that is limiting your success and effectiveness because YOU believe it. Whether its true or not, it will limit you if you believe it is true. As Henry Ford has said; The person that says I CAN and the person that says I CANT are both right. Your beliefs are either selflimiting or self-liberating. All of this is a result of your self-concept.
Improving Your Self-Concept

Early childhood training and development is where it starts... Guess what? If you were the first or second child, your parents were just practicing on you. Hopefully they got better with each child. Your upbringing created certain comfort zones in your self-concept, good or bad. But dont just roll over, play dead, and blame it on your parents. IT TAKES PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY TO CHANGE.
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How To Increase Your Earnings

Here is a powerful example: You will rarely ever earn more on the outside than you see yourself earning on the inside. If you have a 40k self-concept, it is virtually impossible for you to earn much more. Let me illustrate; If you want to earn 100K or even 1 million annually, you must see yourself earning that amount first in your self-concept. You must increase your self-concept level of earning before you earn more. Even if you happen to earn more because of a fluke, rather than your self-concept earning level, your heart will scramble to bring you back down to the level of your comfort zone. I have trained many salespeople who developed a self-concept of Mr. Big Bucks and did well financially, until someone told him or her that they were being greedy. They believed the limiting words and lowered their self-concept; consequently, their income went down. It works like a thermostat. Your self-concept produces whatever you engage it to produce. You make the vision of income within and the vision makes you the money. Its an inside-out operation. You were designed to live from the inside-out, not the outside-in. Here is a major, major secret: Inner change precedes outer change. When your mind goes through them changes your life goes through changes. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
Three Basic Parts Of The Self-Concept

Now lets do a little study of self-concept to give you some tools to work with in improving your self-image. I want to make it plain, so that you can see the major principles and make clear distinctions by
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understanding this vital subject of self-concept. There are three basic parts of the Self-Concept: 1) Your self-ideal your goals, plans, vision. 2) Your self-image your mental pictures. 3) Your self-esteem value & respect.
Three Powerful Mental Laws

A law is simply something that works every time it is put to work... Gravity is a perfect example: what goes up, must come down. Here are three mental laws that will affect your self-concept and, consequently, your happiness: The Law of Belief whatever you believe with conviction becomes your reality. The Law of Expectations whatever you expect, with confidence, becomes your own self-fulfilling prophecy. The Law of Correspondence your outer life is a mirror of your inner life. Now are you starting to see that happiness and health are inward realities before they manifest in your life?
An Ecology Check
Now that you have started on the road to a healthy self-concept, following is an ecology check or a check-up from the neck up to keep the filthy smog of low self-worth out. When you see these consistently lived out in your life, you can know that you are well on the way.
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5 SIGNS OR SYMPTOMS OF HEALTHY SELF-CONCEPT

Resilience in ups and downs. Inner contentment. Goal orientation. Energy & enthusiasm. Quality of relationships.
All happy people have a positive self-concept, which produces resilience or a certain toughness in life. Thesaurus dictionary defines resilience as buoyancy, which is the ability or tendency of an object to rise above the surface and to float. It also means to bounce back. People with healthy self-images have more bounce-back ability.
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Chapter 11
DEVELOPING YOUR SELF CONCEPT

Winning is something that builds physically and mentally every day that you train and every night that you dream."
Emmitt Smith
Happy people know that it takes healthy self-esteem to bounce back and rise above the surface again when life has handed you lemons. Operating in THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE demands that you have a healthy self-concept. These happy people have inner contentment, are goal-oriented, are filled with energy and enthusiasm, and tend to have quality relationships. Why? They like themselves! The truth is, Im okay and youre okay! But you must believe in yourself. 5 Practical Ways To Develop Your Self Concept: 1) Accept responsibility for you. 2) Work on yourself everyday. 3) See yourself as a success. 4) Think and talk only about the things you want. 5) Talk to yourself positively. (Regularly say: I like myself!) Joseph found the good in unhappy situations because he had a healthy self-concept, which eventually led him to a life of happiness,
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wealth and greatness. Neither the pit nor the prison could destroy his self-concept or inner-image of his dream. A healthy self-concept is a major key to getting on the road to happiness. I have discovered several practical qualities to cultivating your self-esteem. Here are a few: big, challenging written goals, clear standards and values, success experiences, self acceptance, receiving recognition and praise, accomplishments and rewards.
Start A New Habit

I want you to start a new habit. Everyday when you awake, regardless of what you are facing that day, say out loud at least three times: I FEEL HAPPY; I FEEL HEALTHY; I FEEL TERRIFIC! It is a psychological process called positive self talk or a spiritual law called confession. You can have what you say because your words have power. I guarantee you that unhappy people wake up saying just the negative opposite. Happy people wake up saying good things, and these words set the course of their day. Positive words set a positive course and produce positive results. Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.
Seeing Is Believing
Joseph had dreams of destiny that gave him an inner picture and formed his inner image of ultimate success. You could say: What you see is what you get! Start seeing yourself as a happy, healthy and fulfilled person. Get the paint brush out and paint it on the canvas of your heart and mind. You can do this with practice. Following is one of my favorites:
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An artist saw a tramp slumped over on a park bench, sitting near a trash can, holes in his shoes, a worn out hat, and the seat of his pants worn so thin that if he had a dime in his pocket he could touch the outside of his pocket and tell whether it was heads or tails. The artist gazed at this man while he painted on the canvas. After hours of diligent concentration he presented his finished portrait to the man on the park bench. Only, the man on the portrait was well dressed, standing upright, smiling, and looking confident and positive. The tramp said to the artist, Thats not me! The artist compassionately said Thats the you I see! The tramp straightened up his hat, pulled his shoulders back, and standing, said confidently, If thats the me you see, thats the me Ill be! The tramp then proudly strutted off like a king. You are the artist of your life. Get the brush out and start painting your dream life on the canvas of your heart.
Inner Change Comes First

What changed with the tramp in the park? The positive words he heard painted a picture and changed his inner image or the way he saw himself. The good news is that you dont have to wait for someone else to speak those words. You can speak them to your self, create your own inner image and set into motion the self-fulfilling prophecy. Former Dallas Cowboy great, running back Emmitt Smith, painted a picture of success. He saw himself as a winner and spoke it as a child while he watched his idol, Walter Payton playing with the
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Chicago Bears on TV, and what a winner he was! The outstanding result is that he ended up breaking the late, great Walter Paytons record and is the all-time leading rusher in professional football. Now thats terrific!
What You See Is What You Get!

If you can raise your standard by changing your inner image, you are well on the way to being the person you want to be. Yes! The Me I see, is the Me Ill be! What a mystery? The way you see yourself can change if you dream some bigger dreams and set some new, exciting goals for your self-concept by painting them on the canvas of your heart and mind. Its called self-image psychology. Here is how it works: when you change your inner image of your self or self-concept, you set a cause in motion in the inner world to change your outer world. It works with happiness, health and prosperity! You can see it and be it! You can have and be all that you see yourself having and being within. Have faith! Faith is the evidence of things not seen. All things are possible to those who believe! You can be happy, be healthy and feel terrific but you must paint the inner image on your heart and write it down and look at it everyday. Happiness is really an inside job.
When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade!

Remember: Choosing your goals is choosing your standards! Choosing your goals is setting your standards! You make the choice and the choice controls the chooser!
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Chapter 12
GOOD TIMES
Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, Another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday."
Og Mandino
I was honored not long ago to be a speaker on a program in New York with Ralph Carter, who is best known for his portrayal of Michael Evans, the youngest cast member on the 60s sitcom, Good Times. After television, he was frequently an actor in Broadway plays. I met Ralph at the conference and I was impressed with his humility and down-to-earth manner. I love meeting famous people that display modesty instead of arrogance (We have all met our share of superegos). Ralph Carter is a great man with tremendous humility who is thankful for the gift of life. During this meeting Ralph shared some of the personal challenges he has had in life since starring on Good Times. Life has handed him his share of lemons. Ralph understands the lemonade principle. Here is what he said about the genesis of the show which made his famous: Good Times was a wonderful product of the 1960s. If not for the civil rights movement, you would not have had GOOD TIMES.
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The Best Of Times It was the best of times; it was the worst of times."
From Tale of Two Cities (1859) by Charles Dickens
Its interesting to note that out of the lemons of racial tension and the consequent civil rights movement, the highly successful sitcom GOOD-TIMES was birthed. As Ralph Carter has said, if there were no civil rights movement, there would have been no Good Times! A classical poet by the name of Charles Dickens described the lemonade principle well in his great literary work, Tale of Two Cities.
It Was The Best Of Times; It Was The Worst Of Times.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way.
Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities English novelist (1812-1870)
Mr. Dickens eloquently drives home the fact that the Good Ole Days were not all good. Someone has humorously said: The only good thing about the good old days is that they are gone! Unhappy people are always looking backwards to good times instead of looking forward to good times. Since you get what you focus on, my advice is that you stop looking back. REMEMBER LOTS WIFE!
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Pain Produces Pleasure

I encourage you to embrace the message of the best of times and the worst of times. What does this poem mean anyhow? Well, first of all, good poetry is designed to leave room for the imagination of the reader. However, heres the message I want you to get; Good times and Tough times are synonymous, or the same, once you learn to make lemonade. So, are you living while you are living? Ben Franklin said; Most men die at 25 but are not buried until 70! Life often offers you two sides of the coin, as it were. So regardless of the hand that life hands you, make it your affirmation: I Feel Happy, I Feel Healthy and I Feel Terrific! In good times or tough times I Live the Life! Life tends to be a cycle of pain and then pleasure. Peter Daniels says, Success is the Willingness to Bear Pain Not Be A Pain Let me illustrate: Women often go through pain to give birth to a child. You starve, sweat and workout, to have a lean muscular body. You delay gratification so that you have financial abundance.
Un-Happiness Is
Unhappiness is happiness with the prefix un on it. If you are unhappy, you are closer to happiness than you realize, just take the UN off of unhappiness and you will have happiness. Why? Because unhappiness is the reciprocal of happiness. Reciprocal means corresponding, yet the exact opposite. Let me illustrate; north is the reciprocal of south. If you are going south and you want to go north, all you have to do is about-face! East is the reciprocal of west. Hate is
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the reciprocal of love. Happiness is the reciprocal of unhappiness. Its pretty simple. If you are unhappy, you can turn it around today. You can do this by looking forward to good things. Expect good to eventually come out of the times of discouragement. I heard a wise elderly man say years ago: Son, the things we cry about today, we laugh about tomorrow. So why not laugh today? Why not be happy? The truth is that often we are simultaneously experiencing the best of times and the worst of times and unhappiness is happiness. WOW, what an oxymoron. I believe that any experience in life can result in good if the right principle is applied during the challenging times. This is the bitter/ sweet concept which, as the old saying goes: It hurts so bad but feels so good. The Worst of Times can be the Best of Times.
Failure Is An Opportunity!
When we look at this man called Joseph, one thing we learn is that all that was meant for evil against Joseph resulted in good. The worst of times produced the best of times in the life of Joseph because he never let go of his dream. He understood that failure is simply success turned inside out. I really like what Henry Ford has said: Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. That has helped me immensely! Failure should be feedback that you are doing something wrong, a learning experience, if you would. There is hope for you if you have failed because FAILURE IS NEVER FINAL! What about you? Are you facing challenging situations in you family, finances, profession or
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employment? Ask yourself, Whats good about this situation that I am in? Here is some good news for you: The season of darkness is often the spring of hope. Be Happy! THE BEST OF TIMES FOR YOU ARE HERE NOW!
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LESSON 4
PROMOTIONS!
3 Lemon
3. Good Times!
Laws
1. Breaking Out Of Comfort Zones 2. Developing Your Self-Concept
Extract The Good: Your can improve your self-concept, break out of your comfort-zone and enjoy good times.

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EPISODE
PALACES!
Blood, Sweat, and Cheers!

You dont have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things - to compete. The intense effort, the giving of everything youve got, is a very pleasant bonus.
Anonymous
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Chapter 13
TIME FOR PROMOTION

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams."
John Barrymore
ITS TIME FOR YOUR PROMOTION! Because you are still reading I predict your promotion and success. Why? Remember that approximately 10% of books purchased in America are not read beyond the first chapter, and you are still reading. Thats exceptional. PROMOTION, how sweet it is! Joseph was finally promoted from the prison to the palace. The palace is the place of promotion. An example would be a new high-paying position at work, or starting your own successful company. It could be winning a political office or even gaining your college degree. We all like promotion.
Business Unusual
Promotion sometimes comes when you least expect it. You go through the blood, sweat and tears, and all of sudden. . . CHEERS! The reason for this is because, in the invisible unseen world, you are moving closer to your day of promotion, as long as you keep the right mental and spiritual attitude, whether you feel like it or not. If you engage in consistent action, and think and speak positively, you are getting closer to promotion every second that you live.
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The day that Joseph was promoted was probably just business as usual. I dont think that he woke up thinking, today is the day that Pharaoh will call on me to come out of this dungeon and give him strategic wisdom for the future of Egypt because of my tactical acuity. I better get my new suit, white shirt and red power tie out of the cleaners. Its show-time baby! No, it was just another day in jail. Cleaning up, killing rats, breaking up fights, and wondering what those dreams of years gone by meant and how they would come to pass. I bet the dream had started to fade by now, but it never died.
Crim & All, Im Going Up!

As the story goes; Pharaoh had some dreams that were bugging him. One of his officials who had done some jail time told him about Josephs ability in accurately interpreting his dream when Pharaoh had thrown him in prison. Pharaoh at once sent for Joseph. They brought him in on the run from the jail cell. He cut his hair, shaved, put on clean clothes, and came to Pharaoh the most powerful man in the world. I dreamed a dream," Pharaoh told Joseph. Nobody can interpret it. But Ive heard that just by hearing a dream you can interpret it." (Joseph is thinking to himself, really???) Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, In my dream I was standing on the bank of the Nile. Seven cows, shimmering with health, came up out of the river and grazed on the marsh grass. On their heels seven more cows, all skin and bones, came up. Ive never seen uglier cows anywhere in Egypt. Then the seven skinny, ugly cows ate up the first seven healthy cows. But you couldnt tell by lookingafter eating
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them up they were just as skinny and ugly as before. Then I woke up. Pharaoh continued, In my second dream I saw seven ears of grain, full-bodied and lush, growing out of a single stalk, and right behind them, seven other ears, shriveled, thin, and dried out by the east wind. And the thin ears swallowed up the full ears. Ive told all this to the magicians but they cant figure it out."
Piece of Cake
Joseph thought, its a piece of piece of cake; couldnt you come up with something hard to do? Then he said to Pharaoh, Your two dreams both mean the same thing. The seven healthy cows are seven years and the seven healthy ears of grain are seven yearstheyre the same dream. The seven sick and ugly cows that followed them up are seven years and the seven scrawny ears of grain dried out by the east wind are the sameseven years of famine. Joseph continued, The meaning is this: Seven years of plenty are on their way throughout Egypt, but on their heels will come seven years of famine, leaving no trace of the Egyptian plenty. As the country is emptied by famine, there wont be even a scrap left of the previous plentythe famine will be total. The fact that you dreamed the same dream twice emphasizes the urgency of the matter. This will happen soon. So, Pharaoh, you need to look for a wise and experienced man and put him in charge of the country, as Joseph clears his throat and says, hint, hint.
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Youre The Man!

Then Joseph said, You need to appoint managers throughout the country of Egypt to organize it during the years of plenty. Their job will be to collect all the food produced in the good years ahead and stockpile the grain under your authority, storing it in the towns for food. This grain will be held back to be used later during the seven years of famine that are coming on Egypt. This way the country wont be devastated by the famine." This seemed like a good idea to Pharaoh and his officials. Then Pharaoh asked his officials, Isnt this the man we need? Are we going to find anyone else like this?" So Pharaoh said to Joseph, Youre the man for us. You have the inside storyno one is as qualified as you in experience and wisdom. From now on, youre in charge of my affairs; all my people will report to you. Only as king will I be over you." So Pharaoh commissioned Joseph: Im putting you in charge of the entire country of Egypt." Then Pharaoh removed his signet ring from his finger and slipped it on Josephs hand. WOW! Thats no lemon! He outfitted Joseph in robes (not another coat! @#&* remember Potiphars wife) of the best linen, and put a gold chain around his neck. He put the second-in-command chariot at his disposal, and as Joseph rode people shouted Bravo!" Joseph was in charge of the entire country of Egypt.
BRAVO!
Are you starting to feel like you are running out of time for your dream to be fulfilled? Do you feel like you have messed up, missed your opportunity, passed the flower of youth in life? Remember,
promotion often comes to you when you least expect it. I encourage you to stay motivated and to keep on dreaming. Your dream that has started to fade can be re-energized and come to pass when least expected! Its transition time, BRAVO! Remember, Joseph came out with a sound mind and so can you. So long to insanity!
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Chapter 14
SELF-LEADERSHIP
Leadership Is The Force That Selects Your Dreams; The Force That Sets Your Goals. The Force That Shapes Your Life!
Robert Schuller
Self-Leadership is the Force that Shapes Your life. Self-Leadership is a critical part of happiness. It is a result of knowing where you are going in life. Self Leaders are self-directed. They have overcome the cowards mentality of conformity to the crowd. Do you know where you are going? To be happy, be healthy and feel terrific, and to stay happy, you must know where you are going or develop a sense of destiny.
The Gift of The Goose

I love to see Canadian geese fly. They often fly in a V formation, which is aerodynamically effective. Occasionally, they change leaders to keep the energy flowing in the flock, due to the wind resistance or what is technically called coefficient of drag. In plain English, its simply wind resistance. The thing most people fail to understand about the geese is the concept of self-leadership. They are self-led by
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instinct. They know intuitively where to go, when to change leaders and when to honk, which is cheering the flock on as Ken Blanchard has said in his excellent book Gung Ho!
Leading Yourself
Humans should be smarter than geese, wouldnt you agree? Self-leadership is a must in life and a critical factor in personal happiness. How happy would you be if you were continually neglecting your dreams and vision to pacify others? I think you see my point. Self-leadership starts with knowing where you are going and leading yourself. I like this quote and I have found it to be true:
The World Steps Aside For The Person Who Knows Where He Is Going!
A Lesson From Alice
So many unhappy people today are like Alice in Wonderland. They live their life in wonderment with no clear decision to go in a certain direction. In essence, they have poor self-leadership.
Self-Leadership In Management
It is tough when you have a job working for a management that lives in wonderland. The problem is rooted in a lack of self-leadership. I heard a story recently that illustrates this. Here it is: A man in a hot-air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am.
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The woman replied, Youre in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. Youre between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees longitude. You must be in Information Technology, said the balloonist. I am, replied the woman, How did you know? Well, answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but Ive no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, Im still lost. Frankly, youve not been much help at all. If anything, youve delayed my trip. The woman below responded, You must be in Management. I am, replied the balloonist, but how did you know? Well, said the woman, you dont know where you are or where youre going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which youve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, its my fault. I think that Alice in Wonderland embodies one of the best lessons in self-leadership one can learn. This illustrates the concept: Cheshire-Puss, would you tell me please, which way I ought to go from here? That depends a good deal on where you want to get to, said the Cat. I dont much care where, said Alice. Then it doesnt matter which way you go, said the Cat. The moral of the story: If you dont know where you are going, any road will take you there.
Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE 115
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MY LEMON
A LESSON FROM DALE & CAROL LINDSEY:
AID FLASHBACK!
One of my LEADERSHIP heroes is a man from a small town called Seward, Alaska. His name is Mr. Dale Lindsey! Dale and his wonderful wife, Carol, are great team, and a breath of fresh air to many. They are contributing greatly by visionary leadership and effective management, employing many in the great State of Alaska through Petro Marine Services and their other enterprises. Dale helped me to discover my potential while visiting their home once, when they had us as guests while doing a speaking engagement. Dale said: Bernardyou are the ultimate diplomat! I have since been told that in various ways by several wealthy people. Carol is the CEO of the enterprise, yet she frequently prepares sumptuous Alaskan meals for personal and corporate guests in their wonderful home. My wife and I have been such guests. Thanks Dale and Carol for your lesson in self-discovery.
Self-Leadership Means Right Direction

Now, I will share with you a directional strategy that will result in self leadership and consequent happiness and fulfillment. These six simple steps are sure to help you exit any pit or prison and know where to go. I want to call these steps to moving in the direction of your dream. Like Joseph, once you have a dream, establishing where you want to go in pursuit of your dream is vital. Following are some seven steps to take to move in the direction of your dream:
1. Make the commitment that you are going live your dream. 2. Commit yourself to daily detailed accountability. Small daily goal = big long range ones. 3. Break your goal into small pieces. The law of accumulation everything counts 4. Get in shape physically, mentally, and spiritually. Spiritual health = peace of mind. 5. Make your liabilities your assets. 6. Learn to respond to disappointment. Someone will drop the ball. 7. Realize you cant please everyone!
You Cant Please Everyone!

Finally, you will never operate in effective Self-Leadership if you try to please everyone. People who allow peer pressure and the pressure of pop culture to control their decisions will never be happy. You start to grow up when you realize that you cant please everyone. I want to close this chapter with a story that illustrates this. Just remember as you read it, IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, you cant please everyone! I have found that effective leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them. They make the impossible happen regardless of what others think of them. One of the most powerful things you will ever learn is that your happiness does not depend on you pleasing everyone. Thats not practical, nor is it possible. Even if you could please everyone, you still would not be happy.
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Yes, it is a happy day when you accept the fact that you cant please everyone and get on with living your life. A friend gave me this poem that illustrates that you cant please everyone. Read it and enjoy!
YOU CANT PLEASE EVERYONE!

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, they passed some people who remarked that it was a shame that the old man was walking and the boy was riding the donkey. The man and the boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later they passed some people who remarked, what a shame that the old man makes the little boy walk. So they decided they both would walk. Soon they passed by some people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a perfectly healthy and decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey. Now they passed by people who shamed them for putting such a burden on the donkey. The boy and the man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed an extended bridge they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned. The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your jack-ass good-bye!
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Chapter 15
BLOOD SWEAT & CHEERS!

Every great man, every successful man, no matter what the field of endeavor, has known the magic that lies in these words: every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.
W. Clement Stone
I LOVE PALACES! The word palace means fortress, citadel, stronghold, refuge, place of safety. In life, it is when you have learned your purpose, gone through the pit and the prison, allowed the challenges to develop your self-concept for promotion and built positive mental and spiritual strongholds. You have found your safe haven. Life in the palace is good! I mean, terrific!
MY LEMON
A LESSON FROM DR. KEN BLANCHARD:
AID FLASHBACK!
Dr. Ken Blanchard, co-author of The One Minute Manager is the number one business author in America and my friend. Dr. Blanchard is my management and leadership mentor. Ken taught me that: Its OK to toot your own horn once in a while as long as you dont become arrogant.
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Even the Apostle Paul said, Bear with me in my folly while I boast a little.
My Testimony
To preface this episode I want to share what Ben Franklin has so wisely said: A MAN WRAPPED UP IN HIMSELF MAKES A VERY SMALL BUNDLE. I promise that I am not wrapped in myself, so lets give it a go. In this episode I want to toot my own horn a little to show you the lemonade principle at work in my own experience. My journey has been one of Blood, Sweat and Cheers! Let me explain: I left an established fruitful lifestyle in Anchorage, Alaska, where I was on TV 6 days a week with my broadcast called Winning Lifestyles with Bernard Smalls, to move to Atlanta. I was also the owner of a radio station (the first and only black to ever own a radio station in Alaska, toot toot ) Man, I did not expect the level of blood, sweat and tears I would go through in Atlanta. Everything went wrong. Life had handed me lemons, to say the least. After selling advertising, cars, my jewelry (some of that Alaskan gold came in handy then; it often meant food and gasoline) and whatever else I could to survive financially, I felt like I was in the pit! (In the hot Georgia summers, selling cars). After several tough years that seemed like an eternity, I had a welcomed turn of events in life. But I went through blood and sweat to get to cheers. You must go through the blood and the sweat to get to the CHEERS! Sunshine always follows the rain, light always follows darkness, spring follows winter, CHEERS often follows adversity! The Palace follows the pit and the prison!
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Here is how I remember the turn of events. My younger brother, Jerome, is a great guy, and a VP with a major retail chain. During his professional career he developed a relationship with the best-selling business author of The One-Minute Manager, Dr. Ken Blanchard. Jerome ran into Ken in the Chicago airport, and during the course of conversation, Jerome told him that he had a brother (who was starvingjust kidding) in Atlanta, who was a public speaker and trainer. I was not starving at this time, but I was definitely leading a life of quiet desperation, as Thoreau speaks of. Life had kicked me in the seat of the pants and I was miserable! I felt like I was stuck!
MY LEMON
A LESSON FROM JEROME SMALLS:
AID FLASHBACK!
My younger brother Jerome is a Vice President with a major retail chain. He definitely made lemonade in his upwardly mobile journey. Jerome has said that two of the most powerful words in the English language are the words, I need He started out as an inventory clerk and now he is an executive VP and one of the highest paid officers with a major corporation in their Boston corporate headquarters. Cheers to Jerome!
Before Great Men

I received a wonderful letter from Dr. Blanchard inviting me to be a part of a special event, the inaugural Atlanta FaithWalk Leadership seminar for corporate and business leaders at the Ritz Carlton-Atlanta and the Chic-fil-a corporate headquarters. WOWCHEERS!!!
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At the leadership conference in Atlanta I found myself surrounded with corporate giants. I was in the same room and eating (and at the same table) with S. Truett Cathy, the founder and owner of Chic-fil-A; Horst Schultz, the former President and C.O.O. of Ritz Carlton Hotels; Dr. Ken Blanchard; and, by the way, the president of a little company named Coca-Cola. I had moved into a new circle of associates. A mans gift makes room...brings him before great men. At the end of the three-day leadership seminar, Ken Blanchard invited me to his room at about 6:30 one morning, before the days breakfast and workshops. He interviewed me, and he asked me to become a Consulting Resource Partner with his company (one of only 40 in the world at the time). I was invited to San Diego for three weeks of training and mentoring at his expense, which I thankfully accepted. I was privileged to receive mentoring from Ken himself, often as we sat out on the deck overlooking beautiful Escondido in San Diego, California.
Endorsements From The Experts

Ken Blanchard gave me a wonderful endorsement on my bestselling book entitled, Thank God its Sunday The Gospel of Customer Service! (Preview it at www.bernardsmalls.com). Mr. Blanchards endorsement opened the door to several key endorsements for TGI Sunday, by other experts in the business world. Mentioning these endorsements is not to brag, but to testify and share positive proof of taking lemons and making lemonade. Looking back on my life, my first training job in the automotive business was washing cars for Alaska Sales & Service, Alaskas number
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one GM dealership. Many years have gone by, but I learned customer service from city manager Court Marchant, who practiced Raving Fan customer service long before I met Dr. Ken Blanchard. I have since enjoyed a comfortable income as a corporate trainer and author. The way I see it, my flagship bestselling book, Thank God Its Sunday! The Gospel of Customer Service was birthed out of the lemons of washing cars in Alaska, where I learned the basics of customer service. Clean cars delivered on time meant excellent customer service.
ENDORSEMENTS FROM THE EXPERTS

In Thank God Its Sunday, Bernard Smalls delivers the good news that a serving heart is the key to prosperity. This uplifting parablebased on a true account of a wildly successful car dealershipshows that profit is the applause we get for taking care of our customers.
Ken Blanchard co-author of The One Minute Manager and Raving Fans
So many books are related to special systems to make production and profits in a mechanized way that suits and empowers the corporation. This new book of O. Bernard Smalls focuses in on the only real way of having business permanence: the customer. It is the customer that keeps a business alive, it is the customer that creates employment and it is the customer that is the only way to make a profit. Wake up corporations and appreciate and thank God for the customer.
Peter J. Daniels Best Selling Author, Millionaire Real Estate Developer, Australias Top Motivational Speaker
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This brilliant book is like a hot cup of Java on a cold night. You will treasure it as I have and want to buy many copies to give to those you love. I highly recommend it."
Dottie Walters, CSP Author Speak and Grow Rich, President/CEO, Walters International Speakers Bureau
Moving Forward With Toyota

One lesson that will serve you well if you embrace the core concept is: Adversity produces opportunity. You could say it takes lemons to make lemonade. What lemons or adversity are you faced with as you read? Dont throw in the towel! You are a winner not a loser! Look up! Get up! And MOVE FORWARD to success. Determine to make some good lemonade! Ive done it. Through becoming a Blanchard resource trainer, I eventually became corporate trainer for the SOUTHEAST Automotive Group and Toyota Mall, a state of the art, prototype Toyota dealership. At Toyota Mall, we made automotive history by becoming the first Toyota dealership in history to win all ten (10) Toyota Excellence Awards in the first year of business, including the prestigious Presidents Award, which we have now won five years in a row, and which I consider an exploit, because it has never been done in the history of the world. Believe it or not, that was not easy. Blood, sweat and many kicks in the seat of the pants produced CHEERS! Toyota Mall chairman/owner, John Williams, is an effective leader, businessman and an outstanding individual, who has certainly made lemonade at both SOUTHEAST automotive group and Toyota Mall by following his mentor Mr. Jim Moran.
Great Men Will Do Small Things

S. Truett Cathy, the owner of Chic-fil-a, has definitely made lemonade out of lemons in both his business life and in his wonderful restaurants. Chic-fil-a has some out the best lemonade out there . . . just go to one of their locations . . . the proof is in the pudding. I will never forget how I met Mr. Cathy. It has certainly marked my consciousness as it relates to great men doing small things. I had just met Ken Blanchard for the first time at the Atlanta Airport Sheraton and we were about to go to the Ritz Carlton-Atlanta for a FaithWalk Leadership kick-off to a convention. Little did I know that Dan Cathy, the President of Chic-Fil-A and son of Mr. S. Truett Cathy, would be picking us up. The long white Chic-fil-a van pulled up; we all started to get in, and Ken Blanchard introduced me to the driver who was Dan Cathy. Dan was very personal and polite as we loaded up and headed to East-Point Georgia. My first thought was, where in the world are we going, the Ritz is downtown? Well we pulled up to the oldest Chic-Fil-A in the world, which is called the Dwarf House and a vibrant bald man came nearly running toward the van. It was Mr. S. Truett Cathy. Talk about shock and awe! I just thought about the proverb; a mans giftbrings him before great men. But this great man was different. He was dressed in a dark conservative suit with a tie, and his pockets were filled with cows that had the saying eat more chicken on them. As soon as he got into the van, he greeted us, shook my hand, and gave me a cow. WOW! Here you have one of the 400 wealthiest men in America who is a legend in his own time and he is promoting his business by handing
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out cows to everyone he meets. To me that depicts a great man doing a small thing. I will never forget it. For the rest of the evening my eyes were glued to this man of great humility. He talked to me like a family member or a peer that he had known forever.
MY LEMON
A LESSON FROM S. TRUETT CATHY:
AID FLASHBACK!
I met Mr. S. Truett Cathy, the owner of Chic-fil-A, in one of his company vans on our way to the Ritz Carlton-Atlanta. The lesson I learned from him was humility. Great men will do small things. Mr. Cathy climbed into the vehicle and immediately started pulling Chic-fil-A eat more chicken cows out of his pockets and giving them to everyone in the van, including Dr. Ken Blanchard. Mr. Cathy also graciously hosted the three-day FaithWalk Leadership seminar at his awesome corporate headquarters which included a Chic-fil-A lunch on the house. Thank you Mr. Cathy!
Mr. Cathy is the mold for what I call the spiritual entrepreneur. An excellent example of spiritual pragmatism, he is diligent, focused, successful, extremely generous and happy. He seems to have a continual smile that makes you think he knows something that you dont.
The Ultimate Lemonade Recipe

So you want to go to the palace huh? It demands that you become excellent at making lemonade. Here is the best recipe or process that I shared with you in the beginning of this book that I have found for taking the lemons of life and making them aide me to
a happier sweeter life. This secret recipe is hazardous to mediocrity! But you must remember to stir vigorously!
WARNING WILL ROBINSON: YOU ARE NOW ABOUT TO LEAVE THE COMFORT ZONE OF EARTHLY LIMITATIONS!
7 INGREDIENTS FOR SWEET SUCCESS S Simplicity See the big picture, the dream, and keep it simple.
U Utilization Use all of the ability you have C C E S S Conviction Stand for something, or fall for anything Change Only in change is security to be found
Execution Do it now! Goals demand action Service Strategy The path to true greatness Chance favors the prepared mind
DIRECTIONS: Determine your purpose, avoid the pits or pitfalls, stay free from prisons while you carefully and diligently pour in the 7 ingredients for sweet success. Stir vigorously and soon you will be enjoying promotions, palaces and sweet prosperity.
Things Are Not Always What They Seem

I want to share a story that was shared with me by a friend and colleague. I hope it has the positive encouraging impact on you that it had on me. When everything seems to be going wrong, I want you to recall and draw strength from this little story. The lesson is evident: things are not always what they seem. THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansions guest room. Instead, the angels
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were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,
THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM.

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had, the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good nights rest. When the sun came up, the next morning the angel found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel How could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, he accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.
THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM. the older angel replied. When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed that there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the hole so he wouldnt find it. Then, last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM.
Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things dont turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know until sometime later THINGS ARE NOT
ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM.

Happiness Begins!
HAPPINESS IS YOUR PURPOSE FOR BEING. We have come to the end of this book. Today, we live in a world threatened by terrorism, war, poverty, loneliness and fear. Even in these challenging times, you can find your own Garden of Eden and Be Happy, Be Healthy and Feel Terrific. It is the Divine Purpose and intent that you prosper and live in health even as your soul prospers. Thats supreme happiness! I want to leave this affirmation with you to keep you in the character-building days that are yet to come. Make this affirmation every day when you wake up and just before you go to sleep at night, no matter what your circumstance, and your days of unhappiness will be a thing of the past:
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LESSON 5
PALACES!
3 Lemon
2. Self-Leadership 3. Blood, Sweat & Cheers!
Laws
1. Time For Promotion
Extract The Good: When life hands you lemons remember: Purpose leads to pits, Pits to prisons, Prisons to promotion and Promotion to your sweet place THE PALACE!

APPENDIX
5 Be Happy! Lemonade Recipes

HAVE SOME FUN WHILE YOU READ! Here are five excellent Be Happy lemonade recipes that you can enjoy while reading each of the five episodes. Try these recipes, relax and enjoy the process.
Classic Lemonade
Lemons, sugar and water. A very simple lemonade recipe, and yet so refreshing. INGREDIENTS: 6 lemons 6 cups cold water 1 cup sugar PREPARATION: Juice your lemons, and you should get about 1 cup of juice. In a large pitcher, mix juice, water and sugar. Stir lemonade well and serve over ice.
Pink Lemonade
INGREDIENTS: 2 cups sugar 9 cups water 2 cups lemon juice 1 cup cranberry juice PREPARATION: Mix everything in a pitcher and stir until dissolved. Serve lemonade over ice.
Lemonade Recipe Reference: http://coffeetea.about.com/od/lemonade/r/lavlemon.htm
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Green Apple Lemonade

INGREDIENTS: 3 green apples, peeled and cored Juice from 2 lemons 1 tbs sugar 1 cup cold water PREPARATION: Use a juicer to extract the juice from the green apples (Granny Smith are excellent). Combine apple and lemon juice, sugar and water. Stir well. Serve lemonade over ice. Serves 2
Ginger Lemonade
Fresh ginger gives traditional lemonade a new flavor. INGREDIENTS: 4 cups lemon juice 4 quarts water 3 cups sugar 14 slices of fresh ginger PREPARATION: Heat water, sugar and ginger root together until boiling. Remove from heat and stir in lemon juice. Let it sit and cool for 20 minutes or so, then remove the ginger root. Chill lemonade before serving.
Lavender Lemonade
If you like the floral taste of lavender, then this herbal lemonade recipe is for you. INGREDIENTS: 2 1/2 cups water 1 1/2 cups sugar 1/4 cup lavender leaves, chopped 2 1/2 cups water 1 cup lemon juice Ice cubes PREPARATION: First, heat the first measures of water and sugar to a boil until the sugar dissolves. Add lavender and let mixture cool to room temperature. Strain out the lavender. In a pitcher, add lavender infusion to second measure of water and lemon.
REFERENCES
W. Clement Stone Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude Ken Blanchard Raving Fans, Gung Ho! Big Bucks! Bernard Smalls How to Set and Reach Your Goals Thank God its Sunday! The Gospel of Customer Service Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Poor Dad Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People Frank Bettger How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling Peter J. Daniels How to Reach your life Goals How to Stay Motivated All The Time How to Handle A Major Crisis
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O. Bernard Smalls
Bernard Smalls is the CSO (chief service officer) of O. BERNARD SMALLS COMPANIES. The Mission Statement of O. Bernard Smalls Companies is: Excellence, Effectiveness and Exploits through People, Productivity and Profits. Mr. Smalls is also a consulting resource partner with the Ken Blanchard Companies. Ken Blanchard is the co-author of one of the best selling business books of all times, The One Minute Manager. Bernard has worked as the corporate trainer for TOYOTA MALL which made history by winning all ten service excellence awards in the first year of business, including the prestigious Presidents award. Bernard holds a bachelor degree in Philosophy of Theology. Mr. Smalls main focus in the marketplace is on customer service, which he calls spiritual pragmatism. He affirms that service is a spiritual principle that will produce great economic results for any organization, profit or non-profit. Bernards past clients include: New York Life The United States Bankruptcy Courts Job Corps of America Bootstraps of America AllTel Communications American Society of Training and Development Group One Automotive, Toyota, Nissan Gwinnett Technical College Morris Brown College New Birth Missionary Baptist Church World Changers Church International and more... Business experts Dr. Blanchard, Dottie Walters, and Peter J. Daniels the Australian millionaire real estate developer, and David Martin of New York Life Insurance Companies have all personally endorsed Bernards first book entitled, Thank God Its Sunday! - The Gospel of Customer Service, confirming his impact in the marketplace.
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Contact Information O. BERNARD SMALLS COMPANIES P.O. Box 1359 Suwanee, GA, 30024 Business phone: 678.794.9027 Email: gunghoguru@hotmail.com www.bernardsmalls.com
To order additional copies and other books by Bernard Smalls visit: www.happyhappyhappy.tv

The Lemonade Principle

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The Lemonade Principle

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When Life Hands You Lemons Make Lemonade!

Be Happy! Be Healthy! Feel Terrific!

To Master Lemonade Maker

Mr. John Williams

Happiness Is Your Human Right!

I Feel Happy! I Feel Healthy! I Feel Terrific!

HAPPINESS IS YOUR HUMAN RIGHT!

Each Day Is A Gift

Understanding the Self-Concept

HAPPINESS IS YOUR HUMAN RIGHT!

Be Happy, Be Healthy, Feel Terrific THE LEMONADE PRINCIPLE

DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF, ITS ALL SMALL STUFF!!!