LOVE <3
7 Februari 2013
There are many different theories that attempt to explain what love is, and what function it serves. Among the prevailing types of theories that attempt to account for the existence of love there are: - Psychological theories, the vast majority of which consider love to be very healthy behavior - Evolutionary theories that hold that love is part of the process of natural selection - Spiritual theories that may, for instance consider love to be a gift from God.
Six Types of Love
Also known as Love Styles, are modus operandi of how people love, originally developed by John Lee in his book Colors of Love (1973). He identified six basic love styles that people use in their interpersonal relationships.
Eros Beauty & Sexuality Romantic, passionate, lovewhat Tennov labeled limerence. In this type of relationship, love is life's most important thing. Lee said a search for physical beauty or an ideal type also typifies this type of love. Ludus Entertainment & Excitement A game-playing or uncommitted love. Lying is part of the game. A person who pursues ludic love may have many conquests but remains uncommitted.
Storge Peaceful & Slow A slow developing, friendship-based loved. People with this type of relationship like to participate in activities together. Often storge results in a long-term relationship in which sex might not be very intense or passionate. Pragma Practical & Traditional A pragmatic, practical, mutually beneficial relationship. It may be somewhat unromantic. A person who leans toward this type of relationship may look for a partner at work or where the person is spending time. Sex is likely to be seen as a technical matter needed for producing children, if they are desired.
Mania Elation & Depression An obsessive or possessive love, jealous and extreme. A person in love this way is likely to do something crazy or silly, such as stalking. Agape Compassionate & Selfless A gentle, caring, giving type of love, brotherly love, not concerned with the self. It is relatively rare.
Clyde Hendrick and Susan Hendrick of Texas Tech University expanded on this theory in the mid1980s with their extensive research on what they called "love styles". They have found that men tend to be more ludic, whereas women tend to be storgic and pragmatic. Mania is often the first love style teenagers display. Relationships based on similar love styles were found to last longer. People often look for people with the same love style as themselves for a relationship.
Triangular Theory of Love by Robert Sternberg
Intimacy Which encompasses feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness. Passion Which encompasses drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation. Commitment Which encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with another, and in the long term, the shared achievements and plans made with that other.
INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP
Isolated Style individu menarik diri dari lingkungan sosial dan hanya mempunyai sedikit atau bahkan tidak ada sama sekali ikatan dengan individu lain baik itu yang berjenis kelamin sama atau lawan jenis Stereotype Style individu mempunyai hubungan superficial yang cenderung didominasi oleh ikatan pertemanan dengan jenis kelamin yang sama dibandingkan dengan lawan jenis.
Pseudo-Intimate Style individu mempertahankan ikatan seksual tanpa ada kedekatan atau hubungan yang mendalam Pre-Intimate Style individu memperlihatkan emosi yang bercampur2 mengenai komitmen menawarkan cinta tanpa obligasi atau ikatan jangka panjang Intimate Style individu mempertahankan satu atau lebih hubungan cinta yang dalam & bertahan lama
Contact
EXIT
Involvement
EXIT
Intimacy
EXIT
Repair
Deterioration
Dissolution
EXIT
STAGES IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
Contact Perceptual contact (physical chracteristic) Interactional contact (verbal & nonverbal)
Involvement Testing Intensifying (flirting, dating, affection) How to testing directness indirectness public presentation separation third party
Intimacy Interpersonal commitment (commit themselves to each other in a private way) Personal bonding ( the commitment is made public)
3 main anxiety that may occur : security anxiety fulfillment anxiety excitement anxiety
Deterioration
Intrapersonal dissatisfaction (a weakening of the bonds sex, financial) Interpersonal deterioration (withdraw & grow further and further apart, conflict)
Communication pattern in this stage : Withdraw Decline in self-disclosure Deception Positive & negative message
Repair Intrapersonal repair (self evaluation, reflection) Interpersonal repair (counseling, negotiation, new agreement, new behavior)
Dissolution Interpersonal separation Social/public separation (divorce)
