7 Februari 2013
for instance consider love to be a gift from God. and what function it serves.• There are many different theories that attempt to explain what love is.
.Evolutionary theories that hold that love is part of the process of natural selection .Spiritual theories that may.Psychological theories. • Among the prevailing types of theories that attempt to account for the existence of love there are: . the vast majority of which consider love to be very healthy behavior .
He identified six basic love styles that people use in their interpersonal relationships. originally developed by John Lee in his book “Colors of Love” (1973). are “modus operandi” of how people love.Six Types of Love
• Also known as Love Styles.
Lee said a search for physical beauty or an ideal type also typifies this type of love. love—what Tennov labeled limerence. love is life's most important thing. Lying is part of the game.• Eros – Beauty & Sexuality Romantic.
. In this type of relationship. • Ludus – Entertainment & Excitement A game-playing or uncommitted love. passionate. A person who pursues ludic love may have many conquests but remains uncommitted.
Often storge results in a long-term relationship in which sex might not be very intense or passionate. People with this type of relationship like to participate in activities together. Sex is likely to be seen as a technical matter needed for producing children.
. practical. if they are desired. mutually beneficial relationship. A person who leans toward this type of relationship may look for a partner at work or where the person is spending time.• Storge – Peaceful & Slow A slow developing. • Pragma – Practical & Traditional A pragmatic. friendship-based loved. It may be somewhat unromantic.
giving type of love. brotherly love. caring. such as stalking. not concerned with the self. jealous and extreme. It is relatively rare. A person in love this way is likely to do something crazy or silly.
.Mania – Elation & Depression An obsessive or possessive love. Agape – Compassionate & Selfless A gentle.
• Mania is often the first love style teenagers display. • Relationships based on similar love styles were found to last longer. • They have found that men tend to be more ludic.• Clyde Hendrick and Susan Hendrick of Texas Tech University expanded on this theory in the mid1980s with their extensive research on what they called "love styles".
. • People often look for people with the same love style as themselves for a relationship. whereas women tend to be storgic and pragmatic.
and bondedness. Passion – Which encompasses drives that lead to romance. in the short term. and sexual consummation. connectedness.Triangular Theory of Love by Robert Sternberg
Intimacy – Which encompasses feelings of closeness. the shared achievements and plans made with that other. Commitment – Which encompasses. physical attraction. the decision to remain with another. and in the long term.
• Isolated Style – individu menarik diri dari lingkungan sosial dan hanya mempunyai sedikit atau bahkan tidak ada sama sekali ikatan dengan individu lain baik itu yang berjenis kelamin sama atau lawan jenis • Stereotype Style – individu mempunyai hubungan superficial yang cenderung didominasi oleh ikatan pertemanan dengan jenis kelamin yang sama dibandingkan dengan lawan jenis.
• Pseudo-Intimate Style – individu mempertahankan ikatan seksual tanpa ada kedekatan atau hubungan yang mendalam • Pre-Intimate Style – individu memperlihatkan emosi yang bercampur2 mengenai komitmen – menawarkan cinta tanpa obligasi atau ikatan jangka panjang • Intimate Style – individu mempertahankan satu atau lebih hubungan cinta yang dalam & bertahan lama
STAGES IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
• Contact Perceptual contact (physical chracteristic) Interactional contact (verbal & nonverbal)
dating. affection) How to “testing” directness indirectness public presentation separation third party
.• Involvement Testing Intensifying (flirting.
• Intimacy Interpersonal commitment (commit themselves to each other in a private way) Personal bonding ( the commitment is made public)
3 main anxiety that may occur : security anxiety fulfillment anxiety excitement anxiety
Intrapersonal dissatisfaction (a weakening of the bonds sex. conflict)
Communication pattern in this stage : • Withdraw • Decline in self-disclosure • Deception • Positive & negative message
. financial) Interpersonal deterioration (withdraw & grow further and further apart.
• Repair Intrapersonal repair (self evaluation. reflection) Interpersonal repair (counseling. new behavior)
. negotiation. new agreement.
• Dissolution Interpersonal separation Social/public separation (divorce)