* Love, Intimacy and

Relationship *
In 2015, a study by McCann World Group found that Filipinos are
the most expressive about love among Asia Pacific countries. The
study surveyed 30,000 respondents from 29 countries and found
that Filipinos say "I love you" approximately 17 times a week,
ranking sixth in terms of articulateness and expressiveness. This
chapter explores the complex and diverse nature of love, as
discussed by psychologist Robert Sternberg.
Love is a human experience that is defined and understood differently by individuals. It

is considered a culture universal, meaning it is experienced similarly across time and

cultures. Love is also seen as a social phenomenon, as it involves interactions and

relationships with others. Communication plays a crucial role in the experience of love.
 * Love as an emotion

Love is considered an emotion, which is a physiological response that we

evaluate psychologically during specific life events. Emotions can be basic, such
as joy, sadness, fear, disgust, and anger, or complex, combining various basic
emotions in different degrees. The complexity of emotions like love is influenced
by factors such as the people involved, the location, and the timing of the
experience.
* love a neurobiological event

Love can now be studied as a neurobiological event. Our

nervous system, including the brain, spinal cord, and nerves,
processes and transmits information through electrical signals
along neurons, facilitated by neurotransmitters. Love is
associated with activation in the ventral tegmental area (VTA)
of the brain and an increase in endorphins, which contribute to
positive mood.
 " The psychodynamic view on love "

The psychodynamic view on love attempts to understand love by examining the

unconscious forces and conflicts within an individual's mind. It emphasizes the
impact of childhood experiences, unconscious desires, and struggles in forming and
maintaining deep connections with others. These theories suggest that love can
bring complications and challenges related to past experiences and deep-seated
desires within an individual.
 John Alan Lee identified different types of love, which can be visualized using a color wheel analogy. The

primary types include eros (romantic love), philia (friendship love), and storge (familial love). The secondary

types include pragma (practical love), agape (universal love), and philautia (self-love). It is possible to

experience multiple types of love throughout our lives. For example, a child may initially experience storge

towards their parents, then develop philia for friends at school, and eventually experience eros during their

youth.
 The triangular model of love, proposed by psychologist Sternberg in 1986, is a popular theory that
aims to measure and understand the different dimensions of love. It views love as a psychological
variable and emphasizes the three main components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. These
dimensions combine in different ways to form various types of love relationships .
 Passion, according to Sternberg's theory of
love, is the intense emotional and physical
attraction between two people characterized
PASSION by desire, excitement, and arousal. It is one of
the three components of love, along with
intimacy and commitment.

Intimacy, according to Sternberg's theory of love, is

the emotional closeness and connection between
INTIMACY two individuals, involving trust, openness, and
sharing personal thoughts and experiences. It is
one of the three components of love, alongside
passion and commitment.

Commitment, according to Sternberg's

theory of love, is the decision and dedication
to maintain a long-term relationship,
COMMITMENT showing loyalty and willingness to
overcome challenges. It is one of the three
components of love, along with passion and
intimacy.
Love languages
• Gary Chapman introduced the concept of love languages, which are unique
ways that people give and receive love.
• There are five love languages:

* Words of affirmation
*Touch
*Time
*Gifts
*Acts of service
• People who prefer words of affirmation express love verbally, while those
who prefer touch value physical contact. Those who prefer time prioritize
quality moments with loved ones, while those who prefer gifts show
affection through material objects. Finally, those who prefer acts of service
express love by helping others.
Love and intimate relationships
• Love is best understood within the context of
human relationships. Aristotle described humans as
social animals, emphasizing the importance of our
connections with others. Our ability to survive and
thrive depends on our relationships, making them
both sentimental and practical.
• In his analysis of close human relationships, George
Levinger (1982) postulated that there are stages
that intimate relationships go through:
• (1) Acquaintance
• (2) Build up
• (3) Continuation or Consolidation,
• (4) Deterioration or Decline, and
• (5) Ending or termination

Simply, the ABCDE of intimate relationships.

Acquaintance
* This is the initial stage where two
individuals meet and get to know
each other. They may be attracted or
develop a friendship.
Build up
• In this stage, the relationship
deepens as trust and emotional
intimacy grow. The individuals
invest more time and effort into the
relationship.
Continuation or Consolidation
• This stage involves the
establishment of a committed
relationship. The individuals work
on maintaining and nurturing the
connection.
Deterioration or Decline:
• In this stage, conflicts and problems
start to arise, leading to dissatisfaction
and a decline in the relationship's
quality. Communication and
relationship satisfaction may decrease.
Ending or Termination
• This is the final stage where the
relationship may come to an end due to
irreconcilable differences, lack of
commitment, or other factors. The
individuals may choose to separate or
break up.