LESSON 5

LOVE, INTIMACY,
AND RELATIONSHIP
 Learning outcomes
• define terms such as "love," "attraction,"
"intimacy, "relationship," and other related
terms;
• discuss different theories of love;
• identify needs, issues, and concerns
experienced by people who are in a romantic
relationship; and
• reflect upon one's attitudes towards love,
intimacy, and relationship
LOVE AS A HUMAN
EXPERIENCE

Love is a human experience differently

defined and conceptualize.
LOVE AS A CULTURE
UNIVERSAL

A culture universal is a phenomenon

experienced similarly by people across
time and cultures.
 Love as a Social
Phenomenon
• Social phenomena are events or experiences
which ensue within our interaction and
relationship with other people.
• Loving entails communication
• It also entails the use of a language.
 Love as an Emotion

• Emotions are physiological responses that

we evaluate psychologically as we
experience particular life events.
• Love is a complex emotion.
Love as a Neurobiological
even
• Information is being passed on within our
nervous system conglomerate of organs
• the loving experience is commonly associated
with the activation of the ventral tegmental
area (VTA) of our brain which is just right
behind our left eyes.
• It is also associated with the increased amount
in endorphins.
 THEORIZING LOVE
PSYCHODYNAMIC VIEW ON LOVE
- this theory posits that we have desires and
motives fueled by our life (Eros) and death
(Thanatos) instincts.
Psychodynamic View on Love
Desirable behaviors Aggressive behaviors

positive relationship with that hurt, manipulate, or harm

others ourselves and others

death instincts
life instincts

THANATOS
EROS
Formative years
- our early life experiences (from conception to
around six years old
- our personality development.

Crucial to this life stage is our relationship with

our primary caregiver = typically the mother.
 Psychodynamic view
Love can be seen as a
manifestation of our eros and the
placement of our libido unto an
object.
 Color wheel of love
by John Alan Lee (1973)
The primary types are: The secondary types are:

1. eros - sexual and 1. pragma - practical love

romantic
2. agape - universal love
2. philia – friendly
3. storage - parental/filial 3. philautia - self-love
love
Triangular Model of Love
by Sternberg (1986)
This theory looks at love from a
psychometric stance - means that it is
generally concerned about trying to
measure love as a psychological variable
and in determining the various dimensions
and facets that love has as experienced by
people.
Triangular Model of Love
by Sternberg (1986)
PASSION - refers to the physical and emotional
aspect.
INTIMACY - pertains to the psychological or
relational aspect.
COMMITMENT - pertains to the agency component,
that is the choice we make with
regards to engaging and maintaining
the loving relationship.
Triangular Model of Love
by Sternberg (1986)
LIKING - when there is only passion but no other
components
EMPTY LOVE - When there is only commitment
FRIENDLY LOVE - When there is intimacy and
commitment
CONSUMMATE LOVE - three components are
presents
Romantic and Compassionate Love
by Hatfield and Rapson (1978, 1993)

Romantic love Companionate love

- is characterized by
intense passion
- “a state of intense
longing for union with your
partner”
- is characterized by
intense intimacy
- emotional closeness-
which is also
characteristic of liking.
 Love Languages
Gary Chapman (1995)
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
• verbally express their thoughts and feelings of
love towards the people they love

TOUCH
• express love non-verbally, through hugs, kisses,
or, simply, a tap on the back.
 Love Languages
Gary Chapman (1995)
TIME
• tend to value quality moments with their loved
ones.
GIFTS
• want to show and receive affection through
material objects
ACTS OF SERVICE
• willing to serve the other person by helping her
or him in things that they do.
Love and Intimate Relationships
George Levinger (1982)
1. acquaintance
2. buildup
3. continuation or consolidation
4. deterioration or decline
5. ending or termination
Love and Intimate Relationships
George Levinger (1982)
1. Acquaintance
- We meet up through circumstances and first
learn about basic information about one
another.

Attraction -> proximity -> exposure -> similarity

Love and Intimate Relationships
George Levinger (1982)
2. Build Up
- Frequency of interaction increases.
- The involved parties begin to introduce one
another to each other's friends and families
- This is the stage when two persons test their
boundaries.
Love and Intimate Relationships
George Levinger (1982)
3. Consolidation and Continuation
- This stage is when people commits to a long-
term relationship with one another, either
through a personal agreement or a social-legal
agreement.
Love and Intimate Relationships
George Levinger (1982)
4. Decline or Deterioration
- some intimate partnerships are unable to
sustain and maintain their commitments or
attraction.
- there may be a change in priorities between
the individual couple
Love and Intimate Relationships
George Levinger (1982)
5. Ending
- Finally, for those intimate partnerships who are
unable to address the causes and circumstances
leading to ending or termination of the
agreements made through informal or formal
means.