Psychology of love

Suhail Iqbal
72051
Theories of love
• Liking vs. Loving
• Compassionate vs. Passionate Love
• The Color Wheel Model of Love
• Triangular Theory of Love
Liking vs. Loving

• Psychologist Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is made up of

three elements:
• Attachment
• Caring
• Intimacy
Liking vs. Loving

• Attachment is the need to receive care, approval, and physical contact

with another person.
• Caring involves valuing the other person's needs and happiness as
much as one's own.
• Intimacy refers to the sharing of thoughts, desires, and feelings with
the other person
Liking vs. Loving

Liking Loving
• Enjoy spending time with other • Attachment
person
• Appreciation for other person • Caring
• Like to be around other person • Intimacy
Compassionate vs. Passionate Love

• According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues, there are

two basic types of love:
• Compassionate love
• Passionate love
Compassionate vs. Passionate Love
compassionate  is characterized by
• mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust.
Passionate love is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction,
anxiety, and affection.
• When these intense emotions are reciprocated, people feel elated
and fulfilled.
• Unreciprocated love leads to feelings of despondency and despair.
• Hatfield suggests that passionate love is transitory, usually lasting
between 6 and 30 months
• Hatfield also suggests that passionate love arises when cultural
expectations encourage falling in love
• when the person meets one's preconceived ideas of ideal love
• when one experiences heightened physiological arousal in the
presence of the other person
The Color Wheel Model of Love

In his 1973 book The Colors of Love, psychologist John Lee compared styles of love to the
color wheel. Just as there are three primary colors, Lee suggested that there are three
primary styles of love. These three styles of love are:
• Eros: The term eros stems from the Greek word meaning "passionate" or "erotic." Lee
suggested that this type of love involves both physical and emotional passion. 
• Ludos: Ludos comes from the Greek word meaning "game." This form of love is
conceived as playful and fun, but not necessarily serious. Those who exhibit this form of
love are not ready for commitment and are wary of too much intimacy.
• Storge: Storge stems from the Greek term meaning "natural affection." This form of love
is often represented by familial love between parents and children, siblings, and
extended family members. This type of love can also develop out of friendship where
people who share interests and commitments gradually develop affection for one
another.
The Color Wheel Model of Love
Lee proposed that just as the primary colors can be combined to create
complementary colors, these three primary styles of love could be
combined to create nine different secondary love styles.
The Color Wheel Model of Love
Here are three primary styles:
• Eros: Loving an ideal person
• Ludos: Love as a game
• Storge: Love as friendship
• Three secondary styles:
• Mania (Eros + Ludos): Obsessive love
• Pragma (Ludos + Storge): Realistic and practical love
• Agape (Eros + Storge): Selfless love