COLLEGE OF EDUCATION

NAME OF THE GENERAL EDUCATION

PROGRAM
COURSE TITLE The Family COURSE CODE EU112
PREREQUISITE/ CO- None COURSE UNIT 2 units
REQUISITE
COURSE OUTCOME CO1: Explain different perspectives and theories of man towards building
relationships and family
MODULE 2 Different types of Love according to the Greeks
LESSON LEARNING After successful completion of this module, you should have the ability to:
OUTCOME/S LO 1.1: increased knowledge and perspectives on basic relationship
such as civic, communal, and social relations.

LO 1.2: ability to construct meaning using philosophical, ethical, and

scientific perspectives on Family life.
TOPICS a. Courtship and Marriage
b. Different Types of Love According to the Greeks
WEEK / INCLUSIVE 4
DATE February 5-9, 2024
MODALITY On-Ground Asynchronous

Welcome to an exploration of the profound and intricate realm of love, as perceived

through the lens of ancient Greek philosophy. In this module, we will embark on a captivating
journey to unravel the various dimensions of love according to the Greeks, delving into the rich
tapestry of emotions and connections that shaped their understanding of this fundamental human
experience.

From the passionate Eros to the nurturing Agape, join us in unraveling the intricacies of
love that have resonated through centuries, offering timeless insights into the complexities of
human relationships and the depths of our shared emotional landscape.

▪ LESSON PROPER

All about Love

Love, an ethereal force that transcends time and space, has captivated the human heart
throughout the ages. It weaves a tapestry of emotions, from the exhilarating highs of passion to the
comforting warmth of companionship. Love's elusive nature makes it a subject of endless exploration
in literature, art, philosophy, and everyday life. As a universal language, love binds us together,
offering solace in times of sorrow, joy in moments of celebration, and a profound connection that
shapes the very essence of our existence. In the symphony of human experience, love emerges as a
timeless melody, echoing across cultures, generations, and the intricate landscapes of the human soul.

“Love is a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which
weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips
to pucker” - Anonymous.

Courtship and Marriage

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Courtship- refers to customary practices in the pursuit of attracting and winning a partner
selected for consensus relationship. The practice of courtship varies according to the culture of the
person, place, and the time.
It also becomes evaluative process with regards to testing compatibility, maturity, integrity,
loyalty, patience, and commitment.

Marriage
It is considered an institution because the essence of its part of a normative system built on
beliefs, social norms (folkways, mores, laws), and values.
The folkways include customary and traditional marriage practices; the mores include
acceptable relationships and laws include requisites and regulations in contracting marriage.

THEORIZING LOVE

Psychodynamic view on Love

Psychodynamic theory is a collective term which pertains to the psychoanalytic tradition

forwarded by Sigmund Freud (a Viennese neurologist). It posits that we have desires and motives
fueled by our life(eros) and death (Thanatos)instincts. For Ex: desirable behaviors that promote
positive relationship with others might be viewed as influenced by our life instincts while
aggressive behaviors that hurt manipulate or harm ourselves and others might be viewed by our
death instincts.

According to this, a person falls in love because of the attraction (chemistry), they seem to know
each other, common interests, and similar background and values. In addition, we are not really
selecting our partner, as the partner (and how we relate to them) is pre-determined by the trauma of
Types I and/ or II. The partner is selected (not choses-n) by unconscious factors- people simply
cannot help it.

Color wheel of Love

John Alan Lee is a 20th century Canadian psychologist

who proposed the idea that there are six types of
interpersonal love (three primaries and three secondaries). In
his 1973 book entitled, The Colors of Love, Lee explains the
six love types and assigns a color to each.
Just as there exists three primary colors in the rainbow,
Lee suggested that there were three primary types of love and
by combining them in different ways the six styles emerge.
Here then are the six types of love as described by John Lee.
It is possible for us to experience not just one but two or
more of these types of love in our lifetime. It is possible for
us to experience not just one but two or more of these types
of love in our lifetime.
A child who loves her parents (storge) might eventually find new friends whom to like once
they go to school (Philia) and then experience romantic love(eros) especially during her youth.

Different Kinds of Love

 Eros. From the Greek word for “erotic or passionate”; a passionate physical and emotional
love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love.
 Ludus. From the Latin word meaning “sport or play, a love that is played as a game or
sport, conquest.
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 Storge. From the Greek word meaning “friendship” ‘; an affectionate love that slowly
develops from friendship, based on similarity.
 Pragma. From the Greek word meaning “practical”; love that is driven by the head, not the
heart; practical and non-emotional.
 Mania. From the Greek word meaning “frenzy”; highly volatile love; obsession; fueled by
low self-esteem.
 Agape. From the Greek word meaning “divine or spiritual”; selfless altruistic love; spiritual;
true love.

The Three Primary Types of Love

Eros. (RED) Eros love refers to a type of sensual or sexual love. Eros lovers are passionate and
romantic and seek out other passionate lovers. They thrive on the tantalizing nature of love and sex.
They have an ideal mate in their mind’s eye and believe there is only one true love in the world for
them. Sexual activity usually occurs early in the relationship and the sex is passionate and exciting.
Once sexual activity takes place, the Eros lover is usually monogamous.

Ludus. (BLUE) This love is playful, flirtatious, and carefree. Ludus lovers do not care much
about commitment as having fun and being spontaneous. Variety is the spice of life and for them
the more partners the better. Ludus lovers do not share intimacy; love for a Ludus person is fun,
easy, and nonchalant.

Storge. (YELLOW) This can best be described

as “friendship love” or a type of affection that grows
over time. Passion and sex are less important than
friendship and intimacy. This type of love begins as
friendship and evolves to romance and sex.

The Three Secondary Types of Love

Mania (VIOLET) “Eros + Ludus” Jealousy,

envy, and control are the hallmark traits of manic
lovers. Manic love is frenzied, agitated, hectic, and
chaotic. The highs are very high, and the lows are
very low making the relationship like a roller coaster
ride of emotions. When a manic relationship ends,
the manic lover is unable to think about anything but
their lost love.

Pragma (GREEN) “Ludus + Storge” Practicality and logic guide this type of love. With pragma
love, the costs and benefits are carefully weighed before entering into a relationship. It is non-
emotional and based on certain criteria like education level, religious beliefs, and social status.

Agape. (ORANGE) “Eros + Storge” Agape love is selfless, enduring, and unconditional. It is a
love that provides intrinsic satisfaction. Inherent in agape love is patience, kindness, and
permanence. Agape is considered the purest and truest form of love.

9 DIFFERENT TYPES OF LOVE ACCORDING TO THE ANCIENT GREEKS

1. EROS (ἔρως): SEXUAL DESIRE

In Ancient Greek mythology, Eros was a mischievous god of passion and fertility, who was
shooting arrows into the hearts of people and immortals and making them feel a sudden
overwhelming desire for each other. Although this desire can be interpreted as love, it is primarily
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physical attraction. That’s where the terms “erotic” and “erotica” came from that nowadays describe
human sexuality.
It is common to mistake lust – or sexual desire – for romantic love. Sexual attraction can be a
potent and overwhelming sensation, and even fool the brain into questionable decision-making.
However, although the sexual desire is not a type of love in and of itself, it is frequently an essential
component of love, especially between romantic couples.

2. PHILIA (φιλία): SOUL CONNECTION

Philia is a platonic feeling. This Greek word for love implies spiritual connection, trust, and
sharing of the same values. Philia usually grows between friends or family members. While it is not
as overwhelming, euphoric, or exciting as Eros, it is often more fulfilling and rewarding in the long
term.
Philia is not relegated to non-sexual and non-romantic relationships, however. It is a vital
component of romantic love between couples, and any connection without it is not likely to last. A
love that features Eros but not Philia is often a possessive, self-centered love.
Ancient Greek philosophers (as well as many psychologists today) believed that the two work
best alongside each other, strengthening each other and the bond between two people. Adding Philia
to Eros turns a possessive love into one built around shared goals and happiness. The Greek
philosopher Plato believed that the combination of Philia and Eros led to the highest form of love –
a “friendship between lovers.”

3. STORGE (στοργή): DEVOTED LOVE

Storge can be classified as a variation of Philia and usually relates to love within a family.
While the care and devotion of Storge is an integral part of Philia’s connection, it may also be one-
sided. An excellent example of Storge is when a parent cares for a child, makes them feel secure,
comfortable, and safe, and don’t expect anything in return.
Although Storge may seem like an antidote of Eros, they both tend to be highly natural,
biological, and instinctual. Storge usually occurs between married couples who are raising a family
together. This form of love is valued in Western culture, particularly within the Christian faith.

4. PRAGMA (πράγμα): MATURE LOVE

Although probably the least exciting type of love, Pragma is an essential component of making
relationships work in the long term. Pragma is love based on duty, reason, and shared goals. Like
Philia, Pragma is not limited to romantic partnerships, although it is a vital part of romantic love. It
is essential within families and even close friendships. Examples of Pragma manifestation are
personal sacrifices for your partner’s benefit, making life and career choices that are best for your
relationship rather than just yourself, and carrying out the daily chores and tasks needed to maintain
a happy home.
Pragma love is perhaps the most difficult to develop and maintain, as it requires continual effort,
dedication, and often selflessness. However, the results are often extremely worthwhile in the long-
term. Even arranged marriages have been sustained and made satisfying through Pragma, and many
failing relationships have been saved.
This type of love can be seen as the day-to-day “admin” of maintaining a relationship, but
partnerships without Pragma are unlikely to withstand the challenges of time.

5. LUDUS (Παιχνίδια): PLAYFUL LOVE

Ludus is another Greek word for love that is perhaps the opposite of Pragma. While Pragma is
long-term, cerebral, and based around responsibilities, Ludus is carefree and playful love. Imagine a
hedonistic causal relationship that is focused on fun and living in the moment, and you’ll have an
excellent example of Ludus. It is often expressed through flirting and teasing, seduction, and casual
sex. Although the thrill of sexual conquest is a form of Ludus, these relationships are not
necessarily selfish or shallow – they may be fulfilling to both parties if mutual respect is shown and
come with less responsibility and commitment than other kinds of love.
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Ludus shares many qualities with Eros, but it is not limited to physical or sexual relationships.
Ludus love can also comprise non-sexual activities such as dancing, drinking, and other sensory
pleasures that one can enjoy.

6. MANIA (μανία): OBSESSIVE LOVE

Have you ever met anybody obsessed with a particular individual to the point where it seems
unhealthy? And maybe you even called them a maniac? Greek philosophers labeled this type of
love as Mania.
It can be combined with sexual and hedonistic Eros and Ludus but will hardly accompany
Pragma or Philia. Mania often manifests through anxiety, emotional instability, jealousy, and
possessiveness.
These days “mania,” and its derivation “manic” are used in the field of psychiatry to describe
components of certain mental illnesses, as well as being used in less formal settings to define hyper
obsession or fixation.
Even though a slight obsession can be common during the early stages of a relationship, in the
long term, excess of Mania that is unbalanced by other forms of love can lead to dependency and
even stalking or violence.

7. MERAKI (μεράκι): CREATIVE ENDEAVORS

A modern Greek word, derived from the Turkish “Merak” means to do something with love,
creativity, and devotion when you wholeheartedly put yourself into what you are doing.
Meraki is often used to describe creative or artistic expressions such as painting, singing, or
composing music. Also, it can manifest in cooking, decorating a room, or nicely setting up a table.
You do not have to paint a gorgeous portrait of your partner or compose a stunning piece of music
for them to express your love. Making a nice dinner is a perfect manifestation of Meraki!

8. PHILAUTIA (φιλαυτία): SELF-LOVE

The Greek philosopher Aristotle believed that self-love or Philautia is a prerequisite to loving
others. Healthy self-love is beneficial to every aspect of life, including relationships, and individuals
who love themselves are usually more capable of both giving and receiving all kinds of love.
Many destructive behaviors in a relationship can often be rooted in a lack of self-love. However,
self-love can quickly turn into an unhealthy form when a person loves themselves more than anyone
else. Unhealthy self-love can be expressed through an inflated ego and usually dependent on social
status, abilities, or accomplishments rather than genuine virtues.
Healthy self-love is defined by self-esteem that is not dependent on status or competition with
others. Instead, it is based more on forgiveness and acceptance of the self.
People with a healthy level of self-love are not arrogant and do not hold themselves superior to
others but are resilient and accepting of their limitations without feeling ashamed of them. These
people are less likely to seek external validation through compulsive behaviors, and as a result, can
devote themselves better to relationships.

9. AGAPE (ἀγάπη): UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Agape is an unconditional love that is not dependent on any external factors. Acts of charity and
altruism are often born out of Agape love. It seems fair to argue that a society without Agape would
be unable to function, as we are dependent on one another as a species.
Agape is the least selfish form of love and does not require anything in return. However, it does
also often result in immense benefits to the one practicing it – not just in terms of people
reciprocating it with love or rewards, but benefits for the mental and emotional well-being of the
practitioner. Practicing Agape love can often increase self-love, and higher levels of healthy self-
love usually result in an increased ability to feel and show Agape – it is a cycle!
Greek is one of the richest languages in the world with an extensive vocabulary. However, love
is often more complicated than any words can describe.
Although Greek philosophers attempted to classify different types of love, in reality, its forms
and manifestations tend to blur and blend in various combinations. Thankfully, there are many ways
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that you can nurture and cultivate these, leading to happier and healthier connections and a more
fulfilling life.

▪ ACTIVITY/ EXERCISE/ ASSIGNMENT

1. Answer the online quiz via lms

2. Different Filipino customs and beliefs(quack) on love and marriage
Give 10 Filipino customs and beliefs in Love/ Courtship (5) and Marriage (5).
3. In views of the different types of love according to the Greeks, rank the following
types of love and explain why the types of love were ranked accordingly. (Write first
the ranking then followed by your own explanation.)
Submission will be on the drop box provided in our NEO LMS. Thank you

▪ SUPPLEMENTARY LEARNING MATERIALS

7 stages of Falling in Love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8tEpRDsRw8&ab_channel=Psych2Go
WHAT is LOVE BY BRAD Troeger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sY4rhvB9LE&ab_channel=TED-Ed
7 types of love but only one lasts a lifetime.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=To3DVfPf2-4

https://www.greecehighdefinition.com/blog/9-different-types-of-love-according-to-the-ancient-
greeks

▪ REFERENCES

https://dailyinfographic.com/different-types-of-love

Maddox, L.A. (2023). Love In Greek: Classical Ideas Of Love And Romance. Retrieved from
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/love-in-greek-classical-ideas-of-love-and-romance/

Sternberg, R. J. (1994). Love is a story. The General Psychologist, 30(1), 1–11.

PREPARED BY: REVIEWED/VALIDATED BY: APPROVED BY: DATE OF

EFFECTIVITY:
Razelle V. Lacson Josephine L. Belen Divinia J. Glifonea Ed D
Instructor Department Chair Dean 15 January 2024
Date: 15 January 2024 Date: 15 January 2024 Date: 15 January 2024
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Disclaimer: Not all texts in this module are original of the writer. Some of them are excerpts from the references that are mentioned in this module.