3) Omit “which” and “that” clauses whenever

possible.
which and that(relative pronoun)

The relative pronoun can only be omitted when it is the object of the
clause. When the relative pronoun is the subject of the clause, it
cannot be omitted.
Example:
• Wordy: she brought dress that are of executive type.
• Concise: she bought executive type dress.

• Wordy: The receipt that is enclosed documents your purchase.

• Concise: the enclosed receipt documents your purchase.
• Wordy: I received your inquiry that you wrote about tennis rackets
yesterday and read it thoroughly
• Concise: I received your inquiry about tennis rackets yesterday.
4) Eliminate unnecessary prepositional
phrases, determiner, and modifiers.
• Prepositional pharases: • Unecessary modifierand
determiner
Kind of
Campaign on facebook Type of
Facebook campaign Basically
Definitely
Generaly
Photo of chris lee
Sort of
Chris lee photo Really
For all intent and purposes
Actually
• Wordy: the issue of most relevance is team work
• Concise: the most relevant issue is team work

• Wordy: in most case, the date of the policy is indicated in the upper
right corner.
• Concise: the policy date is in the upper right corner .
5) Omit repetitive wording, redundant pairs
and redundant categories.
 example
• Repetitive wording:
I would appreciate it if you would
bring to the attention of your
drafting officers the administrator’s
dislike of long sentences and
paragraphs in messages to the field
and in other items drafted for her
signature or approval, as well as in
all correspondence, reports, and
studies please encourage your
section to keep their sentence
short.
• Concise :
please encourage your drafting
officers to keep sentences and
paragraphs in letters, reports, and
studies brief. dr. Fernandez, the
administrator, has mentioned that
recent reports and memos for her
approval were wordy and thus, time
consuming.
• Redundant pairs:
Past memories
End result
True fact
Unexpectedly surprise
Terrible tragedy
Final outcome
Past history
• Redundant pairs:
before the travel agent was
completely able to finish explaining
the various differences among all of
the many very unique vacation
packages his travel agency was
offering, the customer change her
future plans.
• concise:
before the travel agent finished
explaining the differences among
the unique vacation packages his
travel agency was offering, the
customer had change her plans.
• Redundant categories:
Winter season
Red in color
At an early time
• Redundant categories: • Concise:
during that time period, many car during the time period, many car
buyers preferred cars that were pink buyers preferred pink, shiny car.
in color and shiny in appearance.