Prefer Short, Familiar Words

Chapter 4
Constructing Clear
Sentences and
Paragraphs

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 Chapter Overview

• Limit sentence content

• Economize on words
• Determine emphasis in sentence design
• Give the sentences unity
• Word sentences logically
 Limit Sentence Content
DON’T
Many consumers have expressed
dissatisfaction with the relatively
high prices of the new Japanese
cars, but this has not prevented
large numbers of people from
purchasing these cars and
pushing sales higher than many
automotive experts had forecast,
thus firmly entrenching the
Japanese cars in a large segment
of the automobile market.
DO
Many consumers have expressed
dissatisfaction with the relatively
high prices of the new Japanese
cars. However, this has not
prevented large numbers of people
from purchasing these cars and
pushing sales higher than many
automotive experts had forecast.
The Japanese cars have thus
become entrenched in a large
segment of the automobile
market.
 Economize on Words (Eliminate Cluttering p-75)

• Regardless of the fact that • Even though sales

sales increased, profits
continue to decline.
• Production will decrease next
month due to the fact that we
must retool for the next
model.
increased, profits continue
to decline.
• Production will decrease
next fall because we must
retool for the next model.

• In very few instances do the

salespeople receive bonuses
over the amount of $100.
• The salespeople seldom
receive bonuses over $100.
• At all times the cash box is
kept locked.
 Economize on Words (Remove Repetition)
• We have verified the • We have verified the
charges to your account and charges to your account
find that the account and find that our records
balances on our books agree agree with yours.
with the account balances
on your books.

• The manager repeatedly

kept telling me over and • The manager repeatedly
over again. reminded me.

• This change will enable us to

get started sooner than if • This change will enable us
we wait for a later date. to get started sooner.
 Manage Emphasis in Sentences

• Write sentences that give their contents

proper emphasis.
• Short sentences stand out (an item standing
alone gets emphasis).
• Long sentences de-emphasize content (the
two or more items share emphasis).
• Consider Dependent & Independent Clause (p-79)
• Example p-80
 Give the Sentences Unity
Relate ideas logically:

• Mr. Jordan is our sales manager, and he has a degree in law.

• Mr. Jordan is our sales manager. He has a law degree.
• Mr. Jordan, our sales manager, has a law degree.

• The weather was unusually bad last month, and sales of

Drummond products increased 12 percent.
• Even though the weather was unusually bad last month,
our sales of Drummond products increased 12 percent.
 Give the Sentences Unity

Limit the details in each sentence:

• Both hotels can guarantee the 250 rooms we will require,
although the Marriott is new (since 2002) and its rooms
are more modern and therefore more appealing, but the
69-year old Westgate is well preserved and comfortable.

• Both hotels can guarantee the 250 rooms we will require.

The Marriott is new (since 2002), and its rooms are
modern and, therefore, more appealing. The 69-year old
Westgate, however, is well preserved and comfortable.
 Word Sentences Logically
• Mixed construction:
• We cleared the site, and then
the foundation was
constructed.
• We cleared the site, and then
we constructed the
foundation.
• Incomplete construction:
• She was so happy with the
retirement party we gave her.
• Avoid ‘so’ or add ‘that she
sent everyone a thank-you
note’.
• Faulty Parallelism:
• The branding standards include
• The approved logos
• A style guide
• Using the approved color
palette
• How to redesign existing
materials
• The branding standards include
• The approved logos
• A style guide
• The approved color palette
• Instructions for redesigning
existing materials
 Construction of Clear Paragraphs
• Give the paragraphs unity
• 1 topic 1 paragraph
• Keep paragraphs short
• New topic, new paragraph
• 8 line paragraph is average, 1 line is to emphasize major point
• Make good use of topic sentences
• Topic sentence is the ‘Headline’, rests tell the full story
• Can be placed in the first (most common), last (second common), or
somewhere within (rare, for good reason)
• Leave out unnecessary detail
• Make paragraphs coherent
• Enabling readers to proceed easily, without side trips or backward shifts; using:
• Repetition of key words/ideas
• Pronouns
• Transitional words (in addition to, however, thus, for example, also etc.)
 Make Good Use of Topic Sentences
In constructing a chart line, you should plot the item to be
illustrated as a continuous line on a grid. On the grid, you
should plot time on the horizontal axis (X-axis) and the value
of the series on the vertical axis (Y-axis). You must create the
scale values and time periods for the axis lines.
You may also compare two or more series on the same line
chart. In such a comparison, you should clearly distinguish
the lines by color or form (dots, dashes, dots and dashes,
and the like). You should clearly label them by a legend
somewhere in the chart. But the number of series that you
may compare on one chart is limited. As a practical rule, four
or five series should be a maximum.
 Make Paragraphs Coherent
Show coherence through repetition of key words:
• Before buying plants you should know which varieties are
adapted to your area. Adapted varieties usually are sold by
local nurseries.
• Preferably you should state the problem in writing. Stating the
problem this way is good for many reasons.
• The order of your findings depends much on the plan you
followed in your research. This research plan probably was the
product of the preliminary analysis you made of your problem.
• Verbs contain the action in the sentence. As the action words,
they give your writing energy and impact.
 Make Paragraphs Coherent

Show coherence through the use of pronouns:

• Transitional sentences are essential to good writing.
They are the mortar that holds bricks of thought
together.

• If you think Mr. James is most interested in the

conclusion, begin with the conclusion. A direct
beginning will permit him to make his decision
without delay. If he has confidence in your work, he
may not choose to read beyond this point.
 Make Paragraphs Coherent
Show coherence through the use of transition words:
• The promotion failed for two reasons. First, we had very little
preparation time. Second, we were extremely short of
experienced salespeople.
• For three years we had no funds for maintaining the equipment.
As a result, we have suffered a succession of breakdowns.
• After the incident, we installed two additional video cameras.
Nevertheless, theft losses continued to increase.
• They built the building on the site that had been filled.
Consequently, the foundation cracked.