LECTURE 25 & 26

Constructing clear sentences and paragraphs

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Executive Summary

This lecture will cover:

• The importance of adaptation in writing clearly

• Creating short and clear sentences that your readers understand
easily
• Constructing proper paragraphs that communicate coherently

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Adaptation

• Over and over again: VISUALISE YOUR AUDIENCE

• Adaptation guides us to use short sentences for an audience with lower communication
skills, and complex sentences for the more knowledgeable, when appropriate (debatable)
• It is important to choose the RIGHT WORDS
• The task of arranging those words in a sentence or paragraph is paramount!

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Where to use which sentence

• According to past research (and sounds true as well); 90% people

understand an 8 word sentence. It can also be believed that 4%
people understand a 27 word sentence.
• The longer your sentence, the greater the chance it will be
misunderstood, hence breaking the connection
• Your sentence should be understood in one go
• Your sentence should not require intense concentration
• Create shorter sentences and increase readability
• Readers are busy people! Save their time.

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Writing short sentences

• Limit content and use words economically

• Limit content by trying to put one thought unit into one sentence (unless you are
comparing two thoughts)
• If your sentence has more than two or three commas, think of splitting the sentence
• Remove redundant words
• Use two or three short sentences, followed by a medium one

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Activity 25.1 – Split and simplify!
Vladimir Nabokov, “The Gift.” 96 words.
“As he crossed toward the pharmacy at the corner he involuntarily turned his head because of a burst of light that had
ricocheted from his temple, and saw, with that quick smile with which we greet a rainbow or a rose, a blindingly white
parallelogram of sky being unloaded from the van—a dresser with mirrors across which, as across a cinema screen, passed
a flawlessly clear reflection of boughs sliding and swaying not arboreally, but with a human vacillation, produced by the
nature of those who were carrying this sky, these boughs, this gliding façade.”

Jose Saramago, “Blindness.” 97 words. 

“On offering to help the blind man, the man who then stole his car, had not, at that precise moment, had any evil intention,
quite the contrary, what he did was nothing more than obey those feelings of generosity and altruism which, as everyone
knows, are the two best traits of human nature and to be found in much more hardened criminals than this one, a simple
car-thief without any hope of advancing in his profession, exploited by the real owners of this enterprise, for it is they who
take advantage of the needs of the poor.”

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Economize words

• Remove cluttering phrases: https://www.roanestate.edu/owl/Clutter.html

When my elderly grandmother reached the age of 90, she found that her glasses, which helped her eyesight, didn’t work as well as they had in previous years.
She proceeded to travel to the optometrist, where her eyes were tested and measured as to how much she could see. Grandma tried on several pairs of
fashionable frames of the latest style. She chose a gold metal frame by the famous designer, Sebastian Icare, who artistically decides how the frames should
look. (81 words)

When my grandmother was 90, her glasses didn’t work as well as they once had. The optometrist tested her eyes. Grandma tried on several fashionable pairs
and chose a gold frame by the famous designer, Sebastian Icare. (37 words)
The part that was cut:
• If she’s 90, the reader knows she’s elderly.
• Glasses help eyesight. There’s a fact you couldn’t figure out by yourself!
• The verb had tells you that the action you’re discussing (how well the glasses worked for Grandma) is prior to time when Grandma discovered the
problem. So in previous years isn’t needed.
• It’s not likely that the optometrist made a house call (not in this century — actually, not in this universe!). You don’t have to explain that she proceeded to
travel to the optometrist.
• Tested and measured are the same in this context.
• Fashionable and of the latest style are the same.
• Gold is a metal. Don’t state the obvious.
• Icare is a designer, so his job is to decide how the frames should look.

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Avoid repetition

• Repetition is good to make someone remember a point. As Winston Churchill said:

Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory there is no survival.
 
• 2 a.m. in the morning or 2 p.m. in the afternoon
• Absolutely necessary • PIN number (PIN stands for personal identification number)
• Advance notice • Rarely ever
• ATM machine (ATM stands for automated teller machine) • Surround on all sides
• Close proximity • Major breakthrough
• Collaborate together • Might/could possibly
• Completely eliminate • New beginning
• Consensus of opinion • Please RSVP (RSVP means respond if you please in French)
• Estimated at about/around/approximately • Same exact
• Very unique • Totally unique
• Whether or not

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Avoiding repetition

George's wife repeatedly expresses her desire for the cat in the rain. This desire for the cat suggests her need
for companionship. (22 words)
Revised for Conciseness: George's wife repeatedly expresses her desire for the cat in the rain, suggesting her
need for companionship. (17 words)

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Paragraphs
• Heavy paragraphs make the read dull and difficult
• Light paragraphs make the read interesting and inviting – also makes the read more organised!

• Include only necessary information in your paragraph!

• In reviewing the personnel history form you filled out last week, I found an error that needs to be corrected. The section
titled “work history” has blank lines for three items of information. The first is for dates employed. The second is for
company name. And the third is for type of work performed. On your form you wrote company name only, and it
extended across all three blanks. You did not indicate years employed or your duties. This information is important. It
is reviewed by your supervisors every time you are considered for promotion or for a pay increase. Therefore, it must
be completed. I request that you come by my office and complete this form at your earliest convenience.
• Please come by my office at your earliest convenience to correct an error in the personnel form you filled out last week.

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Paragraphs
• Give a flow to paragraphs using transitional words/phrases
• We at ABC take care of all the needs of your online business. First, we supply the
hardware and software necessary to get your site up and running. Next, we make certain
you are online 24/7/365 with our world-class data centers and networks. In addition, we
provide the administration, monitoring, and security that assures your site success.

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Constructing a paragraph

1. Before you can begin writing, you need to know what you are writing about.
• First, look at the assignment topic. As you look at the opic, note any key terms or repeated phrases
because you will want to use those words in your response.
• Then ask yourself: 1.
1. On what topic am I supposed to be writing?
2. What do I know about this topic already?
3. If I don’t know how to respond to this assignment, where can I go to find some answers?
4. What does this assignment mean to me? How do I relate to it?
• After looking at the topic and doing some additional reading and research, you should better understand
your topic and what you need to discuss.

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Constructing a paragraph

2. Developing a topic sentence:

Before writing a paragraph, it is important to think first about the topic and then what you want to say about the topic. Most often, the topic
is easy, but the question then turns to what you want to say about the topic. This concept is sometimes called the controlling idea.
Strong paragraphs are typically about one main idea or topic, which is often explicitly stated in a topic sentence.
• Good topic sentences should always contain both (1) a topic and (2) a controlling idea.
• The topic – The main subject matter or idea covered in the paragraph.
• The controlling idea – This idea focuses the topic by providing direction to the composition.
• Read the following topic sentences. They all contain a topic (in yellow) and a controlling idea (in red). When your paragraphs
contain a clearly stated topic sentence such as one of the following, your reader will know what to expect and, therefore,
understand your ideas better.
• Examples of topic sentences:
• People can avoid plagiarizing by taking certain precautions.
• There are several advantages to online education.
• Effective leadership requires specific qualities that anyone can develop.

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Constructing a paragraph

3. Demonstrating your point

After stating your topic sentence, you need to provide information to prove, illustrate, clarify, and/or exemplify your point.
• Ask yourself:
• What examples can I use to support my point?
• What information can I provide to help clarify my thoughts?
• How can I support my point with specific data, experiences, or other factual material?
• What information does the reader need to know in order to see my point?
• Here is a list of the kinds of information you can add to your paragraph:
1. Facts, details, reasons, examples
2. Information from the readings or class discussions
3. Paraphrases or short quotations
4. Statistics, polls, percentages, data from research studies
5. Personal experience, stories, anecdotes, examples from your life
• Sometimes, adding transitional or introductory phrases like: for example, for instance, first, second, or last can help
guide the reader. Also, make sure you are citing your sources appropriately.

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Constructing a paragraph

4. Give meaning to your paragraph

• After you have given the reader enough information to see and understand your point, you need to explain
why this information is relevant, meaningful, or interesting.
• Ask yourself:
1. What does the provided information mean?
2. How does it relate to your overall point, argument, or thesis?
3. Why is this information important/significant/meaningful?
4. How does this information relate to the assignment or course I am taking?

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Constructing a paragraph

5. Conclude
• After illustrating your point with relevant information, add a concluding sentence. Concluding sentences link one
paragraph to the next and provide another device for helping you ensure your paragraph is unified. While not all
paragraphs include a concluding sentence, you should always consider whether one is appropriate. Concluding
sentences have two crucial roles in paragraph writing:
1. First, they draw together the information you have presented to elaborate your controlling idea by:
• Summarizing the point(s) you have made.
• Repeating words or phrases from the topic sentence.
• Using linking words that indicate that conclusions are being drawn (e.g., therefore, thus, resulting).
2. Second, they often link the current paragraph to the following paragraph. They may anticipate the topic sentence
of the next paragraph by:
• Introducing a word/phrase or new concept which will then be picked up in the topic sentence of the next
paragraph.
• Using words or phrases that point ahead (e.g., the following, another, other).

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)

 Constructing a paragraph

6. Proofread
• The last step in good paragraph writing is proofreading and revision. Before you submit your writing, look
over your work at least one more time. Try reading your paragraph out loud to make sure it makes sense.
• Ask yourself these questions:
• Does my paragraph answer and support my topic?
• Does it make sense?
• Does it use the appropriate academic voice?

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 2 (BBA-212)