Effective Business Writing

Writing Clearly and Concisely

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Writing Clearly and Concisely

To achieve clarity, remember KISS

Keep It Short and Simple

(see also textbook pp 63-64)

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Writing Clearly and Concisely
Study these sentences:

A) To be sure of obtaining optimal results, it is essential

that you give your employees the implements that are
necessary for completion of the job.
B) To get the best results, give employees the tools they
need to do the job.

(Which do you write? Hopefully, it’s B.)

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How to write clearly and concisely
Use familiar words
Use precise vigorous words
Dump trite business phrases
Keep most sentences short and simple and adopt a
conversational style

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How to write clearly and concisely… continued
Use the active voice most of the time
Avoid dangling modifiers and misplaced modifiers
Develop parallelism
Begin most paragraphs with topic sentences
Use transitional expressions to build coherence

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How to write clearly and concisely…continued
Kick the noun habit
Remove opening fillers
Eliminate redundancies
Reduce compound prepositions
Purge empty words

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Use familiar words (see also textbook pp 62-63)
Unfamiliar Familiar

 ascertain find out, learn

 commensurate equal
 remunerate pay
 peruse read, study
 unequivocal certain

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Use precise, vigorous words

Imprecise, Dull Precise, Vigorous

a gain in profits a jump in profits

a 23 percent hike in profits
it takes memory it hogs memory
it demands 16 mb of RAM
to think about to examine, inspect, probe

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Dump trite business phrases (see also textbook pp
64-65)

Trite phrase Improved version

As per your request As you requested

Pursuant to your request At your request
Every effort will be made We’ll try
In accordance with your As you wish
wishes
Kindly advise Please let us know

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Keep most sentences short and simple and adopt
a conversational style
Our inability to approve
your application for the
housing loan is based on
insufficient down
payment. We are also
concerned with the
potential inability to meet
repayment obligations as
scheduled, due to
inadequate income.
We are unable to approve
your housing loan
application with the down
payment you wish to
make. Also, we are
concerned you may have
problems making the
monthly payments.
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Use the active voice most of the time
(see also textbook pp 65-66)

Active voice sentences are easy to

understand, more forceful, more
efficient, and shorter.

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Compare the use of the active and passive verbs
in the following sentences:
Active Voice Passive Voice

I recommend this method. This method is

recommended by me.
The plant manager The request was approved
approved the request. by the plant manager.

[You] Send the customer a A letter will be sent

letter informing her about informing the customer of
the change. the change.

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Use active voice most of the time

Passive voice sentences are, however,

desirable in certain situations.

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Some examples of appropriate use of
passive voice
1. Your order was shipped December 10.
(You want to emphasize the object receiving the action,
not the ‘performer’.)

2. The order was damaged during shipment.

(You want to avoid assigning blame.)

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Some examples … continued
3. The bank made several risky loans in the early 1990s.
These loans were written off as “uncollectible” in 2000.

(You want to provide coherence within a paragraph. A

sentence is easier to read if “old/given” information comes
at the beginning of a sentence. When you have been
discussing a topic, use the word again as your subject even if
that requires a passive verb.)

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Avoid dangling modifiers and misplaced
modifiers
Dangling modifiers

A modifier dangles when the word or phrase it

modifies is not actually in the sentence.

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Avoid dangling modifiers and misplaced
modifiers … continued
Examples of dangling modifiers

1. Working as fast as possible, the budget soon was ready.

2. At the age of eight, I began teaching my children about
Singapore business.
3. After a three-week slump, we increased sales.

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Avoid dangling modifiers and misplaced
modifiers … continued
Dangling Corrected
1. Working as fast as possible, Working as fast as possible,
the budget soon was ready. the committee soon had the
budget ready.
2. At the age of eight, I began When they were eight, I
teaching my children about began teaching my children
Singapore business. about Singapore business.

3. After a three-week slump, After a three-week slump,

we increased sales. sales increased.

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Avoid dangling modifiers and misplaced
modifiers … continued
Misplaced modifiers

A misplaced modifier appears to modify another

element of the sentence than the one the writer
intended.

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Avoid dangling modifiers and misplaced
modifiers … continued
Examples of misplaced modifiers

1. Customers who complain often alert us to changes

we need to make.
2. All employees are asked to cut back on energy
waste by the manager.

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Avoid dangling modifiers and misplaced
modifiers … continued
Misplaced Corrected
1. Customers who complain Often, customers who
often alert us to changes complain alert us to changes
we need to make. we need to make.

2. All employees are asked to The manager asks all

cut back on energy waste employees to cut back on
by the manager. energy waste.

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Develop parallelism (see also textbook pp 138-139, pp
180-181)

Conceptual parallelism

Grammatical parallelism

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Conceptual parallelism
Weak Strong
Analyze the audience Analyze the audience
Identify who they are Ask who they are, what they
Consider what they know know and feel
and feel Examine your assumptions
Examine your assumptions about them
about them

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Grammatical parallelism
Weak Strong
Overall issues and their Consider overall consistency
effects Create a master template
Templates guarantee stylistic Use parallel structure
patterns
Use parallel structure on
individual slides

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Kick the noun habit
Wordy noun phrase Verb
 conduct a discussion of discuss
 create a reduction in reduce
 give consideration to consider
 make a payment pay
 reach a conclusion conclude
 provide assistance assist
 is dependent on depends
 to be a participant to participate
 to show a preference to prefer

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Remove opening fillers
Wordy
 There are three things I want
you to do.
 It is important to start
meetings on time.
 There are three members of
our staff who are making every
effort to locate your lost order.
 It is the case that university
graduates advance more
quickly in the company.
Improved
I want you to do three things.
Starting meetings on time is
important.
Three members of our staff are
making every effort to locate
your lost order.
University graduates advance
more quickly in the company.
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Purge empty words
Be alert to these ‘empty’ words:
case, degree, the fact that, factor, instance, nature, quality

1. Because of the degree of active participation by our

sales representatives, profits soared.
2. We are aware of the fact that many managers need
assistance.
3. Student writing in that class is excellent in quality.

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Reduce compound prepositions
Compound preposition Shorter form
 at a later date later
 at this point in time now
 the manner in which how
 despite the fact that although
 for the amount of for
 in order to to

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Eliminate redundancies

Which words in each expression creates a redundancy?

exactly identical
true facts
basic fundamentals
assemble together
very unique
positively certain

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References:
Mary E. Guffey, Business Communication: Process &
Product, 2nd Edition
Mary Munter, Guide to Managerial Communication:
Effective Business Writing and Speaking, 9th Edition
Locker/Kaczmarek, Business Communication:
Building Critical Skills, 5th Edition

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