Sentence Structure and Punctuation

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SENTENCE FRAGMENTS ‡ Is there a verb? If no, there is a sentence fragment. NOTE: ³Jumping,´ ³jumped,´ ³to jump´ cannot function as the verb in a sentence. ‡ Is there a subject? If no, there is a sentence fragment. ‡ If the text begins with a subordinating word (e.g. ³although,´ ³when,´ ³while,´ ³before,´ etc.) without an independent clause, there is a sentence fragment.
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TESTING FOR SENTENCE COMPLETENESS

Test the following sample sentences (1 ± 5) for completeness and rewrite any sentence fragments.

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SAMPLE SENTENCE #1

ORIGINAL: Friends taking turns at the rock climb, helping and joking with each other. PROBLEM: No verb; ³taking´ is a present participle and cannot function as a main verb in a sentence. REVISED: Friends took turns at the rock climb, helping and joking with each other.

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one she had recently learned. A story recently learned. REVISED: She retold the story. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp5 . ³learned´ is a past participle. PROBLEM: No verb.SAMPLE SENTENCE #2 ORIGINAL: She retold the story.

PROBLEM: No subject in second sentence. Ran down the hall. then ran down the hall.SAMPLE SENTENCE #3 ORIGINAL: The deer stopped momentarily. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp6 . confused. REVISED: The deer stopped momentarily confused.

two-time state high school champion. like Broderic Lee. REVISED: The roster is studded with names that will be feared by college wrestlers for years to come. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp7 . two-time state high school champion. returning letterman. Names like Broderic Lee.SAMPLE SENTENCE #4 ORIGINAL: The roster is studded with names that will be feared by college wrestlers for years to come. and Hiag Brown. Hiag Brown. returning letterman. PROBLEM: Last two sentences lack verbs.

REVISED: «The only difference was that her gaze«. in the same posture as Casey. PROBLEM: No verb. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp8 . The only difference being her gaze was fixed at a point about ten feet in front of her face. ³being´ is substituted for a verb in the second sentence.SAMPLE SENTENCE #5 ORIGINAL: Mom was sitting in her chair.

RUN-ON SENTENCES ‡ Run-on sentences occur when two sentences are incorrectly joined. SENTENCE (comma splice) ± SENTENCE SENTENCE (fused sentence) © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp9 . ‡ Examples: ± SENTENCE.

ACCEPTABLE SENTENCE JOINS ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ SENTENCE. AND SENTENCE. SENTENCE. (semicolon) IF-CLAUSE. (³ ³) SENTENCE. (leave as two sentences) © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp10 .´ ³but´)) SENTENCE. (comma + coordinating conjunction (³and.´ ³or. (turn one sentence into a subordinate clause) SENTENCE IF-CLAUSE. SENTENCE. SENTENCE.

REVISING TO AVOID COMMA SPLICES AND FUSED SENTENCES Review the following sample sentences (6 ± 10) and rewrite any comma splices or fused sentences. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp11 .

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp12 . but with practice my Japanese improved rapidly. PROBLEM: Fused sentence.SAMPLE SENTENCE #6 ORIGINAL: At first my Japanese was very poor and communication was slow but with practice my Japanese improved rapidly. Correct by using ³but´ to subordinate REVISED: At first my Japanese was very poor and communication was slow.

It is a private program which follows the new direction for space development set by the president. it is a private program which follows the new direction for space development set by the president. REVISED: The program uses no tax dollars.SAMPLE SENTENCE #7 ORIGINAL: The program uses no tax dollars. PROBLEM: Comma splice. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp13 .

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp14 . she did not even think she had a problem. REVISED: She was not able to admit she was an alcoholic. in fact. PROBLEM: Fused sentence.SAMPLE SENTENCE #8 ORIGINAL: She was not able to admit she was an alcoholic in fact she did not even think she had a problem.

PROBLEM: Comma splice and fused sentence. and it brought us closer. but that didn¶t seem to matter. REVISED: It was time-consuming. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp15 .SAMPLE SENTENCE #9 ORIGINAL: It was time-consuming but that didn¶t seem to matter we started to enjoy the rides. We started to enjoy the rides. and it brought us closer.

NOTE: Many writers would not add a comma to this sentence because the two independent clauses are very short. and he bled. REVISED: I hit him. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp16 .SAMPLE SENTENCE #10 ORIGINAL: I hit him and he bled. PROBLEM: Fused sentence.

The result can be faulty predication. which occurs when the subject and the predicate of the sentence do not make sense together.´ © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp17 .FAULTY PREDICATION ‡ Occasionally.´ ± Using ³is when´ or ³is where´ when not speaking of a time or place. ± Redundancy: ³the reason is«because. you have forgotten how it started. ‡ The most common causes of these errors are: ± Using the linking verb ³to be. by the time you get to the end of a sentence.

REVISING FOR FAULTY PREDICATION Review the following sample sentences (11. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp18 .16) and revise for faulty predication.

PROBLEM: ³Voters´ don¶t ³represent´ savings. which represented considerable savings for the wealthy. tax cuts do. represented considerable savings for the wealthy.SAMPLE SENTENCE #11 ORIGINAL: Voters. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp19 . divided over income tax cuts. REVISED: Voters were divided over income tax cuts.

not a time ³when«´ REVISED: ³Burnout´ is a psychological state that occurs when employees have so much work that they have no time to relax. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp20 . PROBLEM: ³Burnout´ is a psychological state.SAMPLE SENTENCE #12 ORIGINAL: ³Burnout´ is when employees have so much work that they have no time to relax.

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp21 .´ REVISED: The reason he failed the exam was that he didn¶t study. PROBLEM: Redundant: used ³reason´ and ³because.SAMPLE SENTENCE #13 ORIGINAL: The reason he failed the exam was because he didn¶t study.

PROBLEM: ³Dramatic irony´ is not a place. or other than. the character. or other than. REVISED: Dramatic irony occurs when the audience knows something more than. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp22 .SAMPLE SENTENCE #14 ORIGINAL: Dramatic irony is where the audience knows something more than. the character.

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp23 .SAMPLE SENTENCE #15 ORIGINAL: By analyzing his business records carefully suggests he is guilty of fraud and income tax evasion. PROBLEM: ³By analyzing´ cannot function as the subject. REVISED: Analyzing his business records carefully suggests he is guilty of fraud and income tax evasion.

people do.SAMPLE SENTENCE #16 ORIGINAL: This new information asks some important questions about the reliability of the research team¶s original findings. REVISED: This new information suggests some important questions about the reliability of the research team¶s original findings. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp24 . PROBLEM: Information doesn¶t ask .

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp25 .REVISING FOR SHIFTS OF VERB TENSE Review the following sample sentences (17.22) and eliminate inappropriate or illogical verb tenses.

especially during midterms or finals when the tension is at its peak. ³want´ and ³is´ are present tense. PROBLEM: ³Became´ is past tense.SAMPLE SENTENCE #17 ORIGINAL: Many times I became so frustrated with the workload that I just want to give up. especially during midterms or finals when the tension was at its peak. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp26 . REVISED: Many times I became so frustrated with the workload that I just wanted to give up.

PROBLEM: ³Indicated´ and ³liked´ are past tense. ³are´ is present tense. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp27 . REVISED: The survey indicated that both men and women liked the ads more when the models were attractive.SAMPLE SENTENCE #18 ORIGINAL: The survey indicated that both men and women liked the ads more when the models are attractive.

Dr. PROBLEM: ³Wanted´ is past tense. Hayes. REVISED: My Psychology professor. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp28 . Hayes. wants his students to establish realistic goals that are not too hard. ³are´ is present tense. wanted his students to establish realistic goals that are not too hard. Dr.SAMPLE SENTENCE #19 ORIGINAL: My Psychology professor.

and she has mixed feelings about the characters. ³were´ and ³had´ are past tense. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp29 . PROBLEM: ³Feels´ is present tense. REVISED: Kael feels that Kovac¶s shots are a little too harsh for a comedy.SAMPLE SENTENCE #20 ORIGINAL: Kael feels that Kovac¶s shots were a little too harsh for a comedy. and she had mixed feelings about the characters.

PROBLEM: ³Found´ is past tense. ³are´ is present tense. where there were two minutes left in the championship game.SAMPLE SENTENCE #21 ORIGINAL: I found myself slipping into a fantasy world. where there are two minutes left in the championship game. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp30 . REVISED: I found myself slipping into a fantasy world.

³finds´ is present tense. having inherited her grandfather¶s fortune? PROBLEM: ³have done´ and ³having inherited´ are past tense. having inherited her grandfather¶s fortune? © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp31 . REVISED: What should she have done when she found herself wealthy.SAMPLE SENTENCE #22 ORIGINAL: What should she have done when she finds herself wealthy.

28) and eliminate shifts in person or number. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp32 .ELIMINATING SHIFTS IN PERSON OR NUMBER Review the following sample sentences (23 .

they may have to pay $500 or more per month. ³they´ is plural. they may have to pay $500 or more per month. REVISED: For a couple to find adequate day care.SAMPLE SENTENCE #23 ORIGINAL: For a person to find adequate day care. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp33 . PROBLEM: ³Person´ is singular.

but you wonder if you will be able to handle the additional stress.SAMPLE SENTENCE #24 ORIGINAL: I¶d like to work outside the home. PROBLEM: ³I´ and ³you´ are not the same person. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp34 . REVISED: I¶d like to work outside the home. but I wonder if I would be able to handle the additional stress.

PROBLEM: ³One´ and ³you´ are not the same person. REVISED: When one makes a few phone calls to day-care operations. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp35 .SAMPLE SENTENCE #25 ORIGINAL: When one makes a few phone calls to day-care operations. you find they have long waiting lists. one finds they have long waiting lists.

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp36 . PROBLEM: ³People´ is plural.SAMPLE SENTENCE #26 ORIGINAL: People who have to deal with a bad child-care situation make a preoccupied and unproductive worker. ³a« worker´ is singular. REVISED: People who have to deal with a bad child-care situation make preoccupied and unproductive workers.

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp37 . ³they´ is plural. PROBLEM: ³Industry has´ is singular.SAMPLE SENTENCE #27 ORIGINAL: Industry has been slow to learn that they benefit from subsidizing child care. REVISED: Industries have been slow to learn that they benefit from subsidizing child care.

SAMPLE SENTENCE #28 ORIGINAL: Most parents would breathe easier if child care attracted more qualified employees. but those who work in day-care centers now make close to minimum wage. REVISED: Most parents would breathe easier if child care attracted more qualified employees. PROBLEM: ³Employees´ is plural. but if you work in a day-care center now you probably make close to minimum wage. ³you´ is singular. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp38 .

revising for agreement with indefinite pronouns. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp39 .33).REVISING FOR AGREEMENT WITH INDEFINITE PRONOUNS Review the following sample sentences (29 .

´ ³none. NOTE: ³Some.´ ³most. Since the ³marbles´ to which ³some´ refers can be counted.SAMPLE SENTENCE #29 ORIGINAL: Some of the marbles is lost. depending on the context. ³is´ is singular.´ ³any´ and ³all´ can be singular or plural. REVISED: Some of the marbles are lost. the pronoun is regarded as plural in this sample. PROBLEM: ³Some´ is plural. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp40 .

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp41 . so here the pronoun ³some´ is treated as singular. REVISED: Some of the soup is gone. ³Some´ and ³is´ are both appropriately singular. NOTE: Soup cannot be counted.SAMPLE SENTENCE #30 ORIGINAL: Some of the soup is gone. PROBLEM: None.

Think ³every single body.´ REVISED: Everybody in the whole stadium was confident that he or she had the winning ticket. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp42 . NOTE: ³Everybody´ is always singular.SAMPLE SENTENCE #31 ORIGINAL: Everybody in the whole stadium was confident that they had the winning ticket. ³they´ is plural. PROBLEM: ³Everybody´ and ³was´ are singular.

´ REVISED: Each of the local runners was proud of his or her time.SAMPLE SENTENCE #32 ORIGINAL: Each of the local runners were proud of their times. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp43 . NOTE: ³Each´ is always singular. PROBLEM: ³Each´ is singular. Think ³each one. ³were´ and ³their´ are plural.

who can be counted .so it is plural. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp44 . PROBLEM: None. NOTE: ³Any´ refers to individuals . REVISED: I don¶t know any who were disappointed.SAMPLE SENTENCE #33 ORIGINAL: I don¶t know any who were disappointed. ³Any´ and ³were´ are plural.

‡ When the group members can function separately. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp45 . ‡ When the group acts as a single unit. use a plural verb or pronoun. use a singular verb or pronoun.COLLECTIVE NOUNS ‡ A collective noun names a group of people or things.

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp46 . revising for agreement with collective nouns.39).REVISING FOR AGREEMENT WITH COLLECTIVE NOUNS Review the following sample sentences (34 .

SAMPLE SENTENCE #34

ORIGINAL: During the summer, the faculty is engaged in various forms of recreation and research. PROBLEM: ³Faculty´ is plural (faculty members are acting as individuals); ³is´ is singular. REVISED: During the summer, the faculty are engaged in various forms of recreation and research.
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SAMPLE SENTENCE #35

ORIGINAL: At halftime the band march onto the field. PROBLEM: ³Band´ is singular (band acts as one entity); ³march´ is plural. REVISED: At halftime the band marches onto the field.

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SAMPLE SENTENCE #36 ORIGINAL: At commencement each year, the faculty awards at least one honorary doctorate to distinguished alumni. PROBLEM: None. ³Faculty´ and ³awards´ are both singular. Faculty is singular here because it is acting as a group. REVISED: At commencement each year, the faculty awards at least one honorary doctorate to distinguished alumni.
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SAMPLE SENTENCE #37

ORIGINAL: At the first hint of rain, the band donned their slickers. PROBLEM: None. ³Band´ and ³their´ are both plural. The band is plural here because members are acting as individuals. REVISED: At the first hint of rain, the band donned their slickers.

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© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp51 . REVISED: The Committee takes pride in its insistence that graduates attain a high level of skill in writing. ³their´ is plural. PROBLEM: ³Committee´ is singular.SAMPLE SENTENCE #38 ORIGINAL: The Committee takes pride in their insistence that graduates attain a high level of skill in writing.

PROBLEM: None. Team is acting as one.SAMPLE SENTENCE #39 ORIGINAL: The team wants to express its appreciation to the league for the excellent job of scheduling this year. ³Team wants´ and ³its´ are singular. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp52 . REVISED: The team wants to express its appreciation to the league for the excellent job of scheduling this year.

44). Make sure each pronoun refers to a single. definite antecedent. revising for vague pronoun reference. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp53 .REVISING FOR VAGUE PRONOUN REFERENCE Review the following sample sentences (40 .

This problem often occurs when using ³said´ or ³told. PROBLEM: Pronoun should refer to a single antecedent.´ © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp54 .´ REVISED: Randy told Dan. ³A soccer player really should practice more than I do.SAMPLE SENTENCE #40 ORIGINAL: Randy told Dan that a soccer player really should practice more than he did.

inside or outside .SAMPLE SENTENCE #41 ORIGINAL: Coach Corum carefully demonstrated the proper kick: with the side of the foot . © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp55 . This demonstration improved the quality of play almost immediately.rather than the toes. This improved the quality of play almost immediately.rather than the toes.inside or outside .´ REVISED: Coach Corum carefully demonstrated the proper kick: with the side of the foot . PROBLEM: Vague use of ³this.´ Problem also often occurs when using ³that.

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp56 .SAMPLE SENTENCE #42 ORIGINAL: It is true that when it rains. REVISED: True soccer players generally ignore rain. soccer players ignore it. PROBLEM: There are three acceptable uses of ³it.´ but they should not be mixed within a single sentence.

you should keep after it.SAMPLE SENTENCE #43 ORIGINAL: When one makes contact with the ball. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp57 . one should keep after it. REVISED: When one makes contact with the ball.´ Avoid ³you´ in formal writing. PROBLEM: Use of ³you.

REVISED: Younger children.´ PROBLEM: ³That´ is generally used only in restrictive clauses. who do not understand the concept of ³playing a position.´ play what might more accurately be called ³bunch ball.SAMPLE SENTENCE #44 ORIGINAL: Younger children.´ play what might more accurately be called ³bunch ball.´ © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp58 . that do not understand the concept of ³playing a position.

50).REVISING FOR MISPLACED MODIFIERS Review the following sample sentences (45 . revising for misplaced modifiers. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp59 .

SAMPLE SENTENCE #45 ORIGINAL: Chris bought a sailboat from a friend with three sets of sails. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp60 . REVISED: Chris bought a sailboat with three sets of sails from a friend. PROBLEM: Statement seems to assert that the friend (not the boat) had three sets of sails.

maintenance and storage costs. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp61 . a number of factors must be considered: moorage. REVISED: When buying a boat.often seen with an abstract subject and a passive verb. one must consider a number of factors: moorage. maintenance and storage costs. PROBLEM: Dangling modifier .SAMPLE SENTENCE #46 ORIGINAL: When buying a boat.

REVISED: Having read extensively about sailing. Lynn had some idea of what to expect. Lynn had some idea of what to expect.SAMPLE SENTENCE #47 ORIGINAL: Having read about sailing extensively. PROBLEM: Misplaced ³extensively´ modifier. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp62 .

SAMPLE SENTENCE #48 ORIGINAL: She nearly knew everything she needed to know to become a boat owner. PROBLEM: Limiting words do not come right after the words they modify. REVISED: She knew nearly everything she needed to know to become a boat owner. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp63 .

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp64 . between being a boat owner and being a sailor. however. between being a boat owner and being a sailor that is critical. PROBLEM: Clause that modifies ³difference´ does not come right after it.SAMPLE SENTENCE #49 ORIGINAL: There is a difference. however. REVISED: There is a difference that is critical.

hitting her head. shifting winds caused the boom to swing suddenly and without any warning whatever. REVISED: The first time she went sailing. PROBLEM: Awkward split infinitive. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp65 . shifting winds caused the boom to suddenly and without any advance warning whatever swing across the deck. hitting her head. also ³advance warning´ is redundant.SAMPLE SENTENCE #50 ORIGINAL: The first time she went sailing. across the deck.

55). revising for common comma problems.REVISING FOR COMMA PROBLEMS Review the following sample sentences (51 . © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp66 .

and a pickup truck. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp67 . REVISED: There are two items no self-respecting gentleman farmer can be without: a tractor and a pickup truck. phrases or clauses.SAMPLE SENTENCE #51 ORIGINAL: There are two items no self-respecting gentleman farmer can be without: a tractor. PROBLEM: Used comma with a coordinating conjunction linking two words.

but.000 to buy a new truck. but chances are he will find one that is used. chances are he will find one that is used. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp68 . ³but.´ that links two independent clauses.SAMPLE SENTENCE #52 ORIGINAL: He may have some reason for spending more than $10. REVISED: He may have some reason for spending more than $10. PROBLEM: Inserted comma after the coordinating conjunction.000 to buy a new truck.

is a challenge. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp69 .SAMPLE SENTENCE #53 ORIGINAL: Finding a truck. PROBLEM: Used comma to set off nonrestrictive modifier. Didn¶t use a comma in a number larger than 999. REVISED: Finding a truck that costs less than $1.500 but doesn¶t burn oil is a challenge. that costs less than $1500 but doesn¶t burn oil.

REVISED: The battered farm pickup is as allAmerican as Mom¶s apple pie. apple pie.SAMPLE SENTENCE #54 ORIGINAL: The battered. farm pickup is as allAmerican as Mom¶s. PROBLEM: Used comma between adjectives that are not coordinate adjectives. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp70 .

comma is needed before the coordinating conjunction linking two independent clauses. PROBLEM: Comma used after the last item in a series. having more than 100 thousand miles on the odometer. and boasting at least a dozen dents. REVISED: Being more than a decade old. but the gun rack is optional. are predictable attributes of a truck in this category but the gun rack is optional. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp71 . having more than 100 thousand miles on the odometer. and boasting at least a dozen dents are predictable attributes of a truck in this category.SAMPLE SENTENCE #55 ORIGINAL: Being more than a decade old.

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp72 .60). revising for correct use of the semicolon.REVISING FOR CORRECT USE OF THE SEMICOLON Review the following sample sentences (56 .

Republican from Virginia. Evans. Senators Paul Tribe. and Daniel J. REVISED: One unusual development in the U. Senate is that three senators in mid-career have simply thrown in the towel. Republican from Washington. Lawton Chiles. Democrat from Florida. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp73 . Evans. PROBLEM: Used a semicolon (rather than a colon) to introduce a list and a comma (rather than a semicolon) to separate items in a series when those items contain a comma.SAMPLE SENTENCE #56 ORIGINAL: One unusual development in the U. and Daniel J. Lawton Chiles.S. Republican from Virginia. Democrat from Florida.. deciding not to run again.. Republican from Washington. Jr. deciding not to run again: Senators Paul Tribe. Senate is that three senators in mid-career have simply thrown in the towel.S. Jr.

REVISED: Evans has argued that the reason for this unprecedented desertion of public life is that being a senator is not as gratifying as one might expect.´ PROBLEM: Did not use a semicolon to separate independent clauses joined by a conjunctive adverb. instead it is ³six years of frustrating gridlock.´ © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp74 .SAMPLE SENTENCE #57 ORIGINAL: Evans has argued that the reason for this unprecedented desertion of public life is that being a senator is not as gratifying as one might expect. instead it is ³six years of frustrating gridlock.

Appropriately used a semicolon between two independent clauses joined by a conjunction when the clauses are long and contain commas. but since then there have been 115 filibusters. PROBLEM: None. REVISED: Senators resorted to filibustering. only nineteen times in the twenty-five-year period ending in 1965. a stalling tactic. a stalling tactic.SAMPLE SENTENCE #58 ORIGINAL: Senators resorted to filibustering. only nineteen times in the twenty-five-year period ending in 1965. but since then there have been 115 filibusters. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp75 .

REVISED: Because of frequent roll-call votes. it is difficult for a senator to plan his or her day. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp76 . PROBLEM: Used a semicolon between a dependent clause and an independent clause. it is difficult for a senator to plan his or her day.SAMPLE SENTENCE #59 ORIGINAL: Because of frequent roll-call votes.

SAMPLE SENTENCE #60 ORIGINAL: Senators once spent a good deal of time with their constituents. now they rarely get out of Washington. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp77 . PROBLEM: Used a comma to join two closely related independent clauses. REVISED: Senators once spent a good deal of time with their constituents. now they rarely get out of Washington.

A RAINY DAY © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp78 .GUSTAVE CAILLEBOTE¶S PARIS.

SPRINGBOARD FOR EDITING ‡ Attention to detail is an important part of the creative process. No detail is too small for artists who want their work taken seriously. the kind of detail that gets attention is sensory detail. ‡ To which of the five senses does the painter appeal in his attempt to evoke the feel of a rainy day in Paris? ‡ Which details of the painting seem to you to contribute to this overall effect? © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp79 . As in good descriptive writing. ‡ Here the French impressionist painter Gustave Caillebotte (1848-1894) pays attention to detail.

© 2003 Prentice Hall ssp80 . spelling or punctuation that will jar or distract our readers by diverting their attention to unorthodox or incorrect features of our language.EDITING ‡ An important kind of attention to detail comes into play when we edit. grammar. ‡ We are trying to eliminate any glitch in sentence structure.

fixing anything that needs fixing.EDITING PRACTICE ‡ The following paragraph was written in response to the question: ± ³To which senses does Caillebotte appeal in order to convey the feel of a rainy day in Paris?´ ‡ First read the entire paragraph. ‡ Then edit the passage. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp81 .

This is what you get here. streets. they are bundled up in coats. when their¶s barely enough sun to cast shadows. The man in left center« © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp82 . Grey predominates. Everyone carries shiny umbrellas. One might expect to be gray. There are obvious visual cues.SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #1 In his painting of a rainy day in Paris at least three senses are addressed. Buildings. The only exceptions are the flesh tones of the hands and faces and the reds and greens of the building on the right. even the people¶s dress is grey shading into black. On a rainy day. People must be a little chilly. umbrellas. and even these are muted. less brilliant than it would appear on a rainy day.

the weather is rough. From the jagged building in the back ground to the paving stones of the foreground. To be sure. The couple in the foreground are the only people comfortable enough to take in their surroundings. As if he wants to get there rather than look around. Umbrellas. cobblestones and sidewalks are all slick with rain and water puddles up between the cobbles. But so is the setting.SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #1 (con¶t) « is walking briskly and hunkering down under his umbrella. we can hear the splash of feet on wet pavement and the rattle of carriages over stones. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp83 . Everything about the painting is rough. With a little imagination.

Awkward shifts in person. comma splices or fused sentences. © 2003 Prentice Hall ssp84 . Incorrect verb forms. you probably aren¶t going to catch them all in a single pass. ‡ Edit the passage again with the help of the following checklist. number. capitalization. subject-verb agreement. punctuation. tense. Misplaced or dangling modifiers. Correct possessive forms. Check for: ± ± ± ± ± ± ± Sentence fragments. Spelling. etc.EDIT AGAIN ‡ One good general editing principle is that when the piece you are editing contains a number of errors. Clear and correct pronoun-antecedent references.