CARMINA B.

ECHAVIA
At the end of the lesson, the students should be able to:

• discuss the difference between “telling” and “showing” in

creative writing ;
• transform sentences into evocative ones; and
• compose their own evocative paragraph based on the
standards given.
I was driving home from work this afternoon
when some jerk came out of a side street
and cut right in front of me. I was angry
about something my boss had said that
afternoon, so instead of just letting it go, I
sounded my horn and tailgated the guy for
half a mile. He pulled over, and we nearly got
into a fight.
Naturally, as I was just about to cross the river, a
guy in a Jeep Cherokee with enormous tires shot
out right in front of me and cut me off. Worse
yet, he was a young guy, with big redneck
sideburns and a feed cap, and when I honked my
horn, he gave me the finger and a big nasty grin.
Worst of all, he had out-of state plates and an
NRA bumper sticker, and all of these, along with
my rage at my boss, made me erupt.
- from the Latin word evocare which means “to call
out”
- “calling up an emotional response” or “calling up
memories, recollections, or associations”
- memories, emotions, and sensory impressions are
evoked
- give more details
- put the reader in the scene
- engage the readers’ senses and imagination
One common error is not providing enough detail, another
is to overcompensate by telling too much.
WHAT ARE THE RIGHT DETAILS TO INCLUDE?

- Does this detail tell something that the reader didn’t

already know?
- Does it advance the story?
- Does it say something about the character that is specific
to this scene?
Evocation works best when you use active, specific verbs
and avoid adverbs unless they are absolutely necessary.

“She hurried quickly across the room.”

“He pounded the table angrily.”

 “It was raining.”

“The rain hammered the roof and spattered the windows

like buckshot.”
Transform these sentences creatively using evocation
(10 minutes).

1. He was angry when he got out.

2. The wind pisses her off.
3. I think I don’t belong.
1. He was angry when he got out.

When he left, the wooden door pounded so hard that the

circular light bulb in the crowded living room seemed to
shake and fall any minute.
2. The wind pisses her off.

Before Lisa could take her next heavy step, the wind would
blow and push her fringe away from her face revealing her
crossed eyebrows.
3. I think I don’t belong.

All I can do is stare at this garden of flowers with crowns of

the morning dew for I am afraid that once I step in, they’ll
hear my crunchy steps and they’ll realize I am the only one
withering.
Try this exercise from John Gardner’s The Art of Fiction:
Write a passage describing a building, a landscape, or an
object, but imagine that you are writing from the point of
view of a parent whose child has just died. Describe the
object without mentioning the child or death. The idea is to
see if you can evoke a feeling of loss and grief in the reader
without mentioning the emotions themselves.
Read in advance Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” for our next
lesson.