Marriage: From Social Institution To Private Relationship

Chapter 7
Marriage: From Social Institution to

Private Relationship
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Chapter Outline
 Marital Status: The Changing Picture
 The Time-Honored Marriage Premise:
Permanence and Sexual Exclusivity
 From “Yoke Mates” to “Soul Mates”: A
Changing Marriage Premise
 Deinstitutionalized Marriage
Chapter Outline
 Deinstitutionalized Marriage: The Policy
Debate
 Happiness, Well-Being, and Life
Satisfaction: How Does Marriage Matter?
Marital Status:
The Changing Picture
 The proportion of Americans age 18 and over
who are married has declined significantly in the
last 50 years—from 72 percent in 1960 to 49
percent in 2014. People are also much more
likely to be older at age of first marriage.
 One important reason for this shift is economic.
 “Marriage gap”—disparity in marriage rates
between the poor and the well-off.
Marital Status:
The Changing Picture
 Having first emerged
as a remote
possibility in the
1970s, legal marriage
for same-sex couples
became a reality in
2015.
Legal Same-Sex Marriage
 There were almost 800,000 same-sex
households in 2014; of these, about 25% are
married couples.
 The Netherlands became the first country to
allow same-sex marriage (in 2000). At least 20
other countries have since followed suit.
 Same-sex marriage became legal in the United
States in 2015.
Legal Same-Sex Marriage
 Before same-sex couples could marry legally,
many identified as spouses anyway.
 Demographically, many same-sex couples who
identify as spouses are much like heterosexual
marrieds.
 However, not all same-sex couples want to
marry. Some lesbians and gays think legal
same-sex marriage will stigmatize any sex
outside marriage.
Facts about Families: Legal
Same-Sex Marriage as a
Successful Social Movement
 Legal marriage for gay and lesbian couples became a
frontline issue after 1991 upon the formation of the
Equal Rights Marriage Fund.
 Many religious conservatives strongly oppose legal
same-sex marriage. Some proposed a constitutional
amendment defining marriage as between one man and
one woman.
 Despite such opposition, public support for legal same-
sex marriage has grown since the mid-1990s.
The Time-Honored Marriage
Premise: Permanence and
Sexual Exclusivity
 Expectations of permanence derive from the
fact that historically marriage was a practical
institution.
 In the United States today, marriage seldom
involves merging two families’ properties.
 Providing love and ongoing emotional support
has become key for most people.
The Time-Honored Marriage
Premise: Permanence and
Sexual Exclusivity
 Marriage in the United States legally requires
monogamy, along with expectations of sexual
exclusivity, in which spouses promise to have
sexual relations only with each other.
 Expectations of sexual exclusivity have
broadened to include expectations of emotional
centrality, or putting one’s partner first.
Issues for Thought: Three Very
Different Subcultures with Norms
Contrary to Sexual Exclusivity
 Polygamy: Having more than one spouse

 Polyamory: “Many loves”
 Swinging: Exchanging partners for sex
Polygamy
 Polygamy has been illegal in the United States
since 1878, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled
that freedom to practice the Mormon religion did
not extend to having multiple wives.
 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
no longer permits polygamy.
 Some dissident Mormons follow the traditional
teachings and take multiple wives.
Polyamory
 Polyamory refers to marriages in which one or
both spouses retain the option to sexually love
others in addition to their spouse.
 Polyamorous spouses agree to openly
acknowledge sexual relationships with others
while keeping the marriage relationship primary.
 The Polyamory Society’s Children Educational
Branch offers advice for polyamorous parents
and maintains a PolyFamily scholarship fund.
Swinging
 Swinging is a marriage arrangement in
which couples exchange partners in order
to engage in purely recreational sex.
 Swingers often face the challenge of
managing jealousy, but they empathize
what they see as the positive effects,
such as variety.
From “Yoke Mates” to “Soul Mates”:
A Changing Marriage Premise
 In individualistic societies, one’s own self-
actualization and interests are a valid
concern.
 In collectivist societies, people identify
with and conform to the expectations of
their extended kin.
With regard to marriage, an individualist
orientation resulted in three developments:
1. The authority of kin and extended family
weakened.
2. Individuals began to find their own marriage
partners.
3. Romantic love came to be associated with
marriage.
Weakened Kinship Authority
 Kin includes parents and other relatives, such as in-laws,
grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins.
 In Westernized societies, kinship authority is weak.
 Sociologist Talcott Parsons noted that in the American
kinship system married people are members of their family
of orientation and their family of procreation.
 Extended family has been the basic family unit in most non-
European countries. Some recent immigrants to the U.S. as
well as lower socioeconomic classes still rely on ties to their
kin.
 Arranged marriage has characterized
collectivist societies.
 It is only recently that love has become
associated with marriage, especially with
the newly developing middle classes.
Deinstitutionalized Marriage
 A situation in which time-honored family
definitions and social norms count for far
less than in the past.
 E.g., childbearing outside of marriage now
carries little stigma.
 Marriages have shifted from institutional
to compassionate to individualized.
Institutional Marriage
 Institutional marriage: A social institution
based on dutiful adherence to the time-
honored marriage premise, particularly
the norm of permanence
 Family organized around economic
production, kinship network, community
connections, the father’s authority, and
marriage as a functional partnership
The Institutional
Marriage Bond
 Couples are “yoked” together
by high expectations for
permanence, bolstered by
the strong social control of
extended kin and community.
The Companionate Marriage
Bond
 Couples are bound
together by
companionship, coupled
with a gendered division
of labor, pride in
performing spousal and
parenting roles, and
hopes for “the American
dream”—a home of their
own and a comfortable
domestic life together.
Individualized Marriage
Four characteristics distinguish
individualized marriage:
1. It is optional.
2. Spouses’ roles are flexible—negotiable and
renegotiable.
3. Its expected rewards involve love,
communication, and emotional intimacy.
4. It exists in conjunction with a vast diversity
of family forms.
The Individualized Marriage
Bond
 Spouses in individualized
marriages remain
together because they
find self actualization,
intimacy, and
expressively
communicated emotional
support in their unions.
Deinstitutionalized Marriage:
Examining the Consequences
Demographer Linda Waite compared
married and unmarried households and
reported that spouses:
1. Had greater wealth and assets.
2. Earned higher wages.
3. Had more frequent and better sex.
4. Had overall better health.
Demographer Linda Waite reported that
spouses:
5. Were less likely to engage in risk-taking.
6. Had lower rates of substance abuse.
7. Were more likely to engage in healthy
behaviors.
Waite found that children in married
families:
1.Were about half as likely to drop out of high
school.
2.Reported more frequent contact and better-
quality relationships with their parents.
3.Were significantly less likely to live in poverty.
Selection Hypothesis/
Experience Hypothesis
 Selection hypothesis posits that many of
the benefits associated with marriage
result from the personal characteristics of
those who choose to marry.
 The experience hypothesis holds that the
experience of being married itself causes
these benefits.
Causal Order: Experience Hypothesis,
Selection Hypothesis
Marital Status, Poverty and
Child Outcomes: Does Marriage
Matter?
 The proportion of children under 18 living with
two married parents declined steadily over the
past 50 years.
 Considerable research supports the overall
conclusion that growing up with married
parents is better.
 However, this is a complex relationship
mediated by several factors.
Marital Status, Poverty and Child
Outcomes: Does Marriage Matter?
 14.7% of nonHispanic white, 16.8% of Asian,
39.6% of African American, 27.5% of Native
Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander, 36.8% of
American Indian or Alaska Native, and 34% of
Hispanic children live in poverty.
 Consequences include: malnutrition; unhealthy
neighborhoods; increased physical ,
socioemotional, and behavioral problems; less
academic success; and increased exposure to
violence.
Marital Status, Poverty and Child
Outcomes: Does Marriage Matter?
 More than 14.7 million U.S. children under age
18 live at or below the poverty line.
 Millions more live in “near poor” conditions
(125% of poverty level).
 Residing with married parents does significantly
lessen the likelihood of growing up in poverty.
 However, marriage alone is not sufficient to
alleviate poverty. Plus, a majority of unmarried
families do not live in poverty.
A Closer Look at Diversity
 With 34% of black men and 27% of black
women currently married, African Americans are
less likely to be wed than are other U.S.
racial/ethnic groups.
 The reasons for these low rates are structural-
cultural in nature.
 African American families are increasingly
divided between a middle class that has
benefited from the civil rights movement and a
sector that remains disadvantaged.
Jumping the Broom
 Although controversial
because it can be a
reminder of slavery,
jumping the broom at
African American
weddings is going
through some revival as
couples plan wedding
rituals that incorporate
their cultural heritage.
The Policy Debate
A Decline View
 Individualism has caused moral
weakening and self-indulgence and as a
result are less likely to choose marriage,
are more likely to divorce, and are less
child-centered
The Policy Debate
A Change View
 Nostalgia about the “good old days” leads
to incorrect assumptions.
 For example, large families with many
children and higher death rates for parents
with young children meant many children
were not raised in two-parent households.
The War on Poverty
 Lyndon Johnson’s War on Poverty, begun in the
1960s, substantially reduced the child poverty
rate by the 1970s.
 In the 1970s, the child poverty rate began to
rise again, then fell after 1993 only to rise again
in the 2000s.
 The War on Poverty offered structural strategies
to decrease poverty.
Some Current Policy Measures
 Many current policy makers propose job training,
support for education, good jobs, drug rehabilitation,
neighborhood improvements, and the like as
remedies for poverty.
 Some make a distinction between marital stability
and family stability—supporting children and their
parents in whatever family form they find
themselves.
 Co-parenting educational initiatives may help
promote family stability.
A Possible Truce in the War Over
Family
 “Decline view” advocates typically align with
political and religious conservatives; “change
view” advocates typically align with
progressives.
 Conservatives focus on “family values” while
progressives focus on individual rights.
 The legalization of same-sex marriage may
have removed a major point of contention
between the two camps.
A Possible Truce in the War Over
Family
 The class-based marriage gap may be an issue
for both political camps; progressives need to
be concerned about family structure while
conservatives need to acknowledge that wage
stagnation stymies aspirations to family
formation.
 Initiatives to promote education and greater
sexual responsibility can unite both political
camps.
Happiness, Well-Being, and Life
Satisfaction: How Does Marriage
Matter?
 Both husbands and wives are far more likely
than others to say they are “very happy”
 Reasons for this include:
 Economy of scale
 Enhanced social support
 Continuity
Marital Satisfaction and
Choices Throughout Life
 Preparation for Marriage
 Family life courses and premarital counseling provide
guidance and skills for marriage and family.
 Research shows they do improve communication
skills and relationship quality, at least in the short
term.
 Success also depends on the personality traits of the
individual and the couple characteristics.
The First Years of Marriage
 First years of marriage tend to be the happiest,
with gradual declines in marital satisfaction
afterward.
 Reasons for this decline may include
 Life cycle stress as children arrive
 The inevitable decline from the emotional

intensity of falling in love
Role-Making
 Refers to personalizing a role by modifying or
adjusting the expectations and obligations
traditionally associated with it.
 The process of role-making must continue
throughout marriage.
 Potentially problematic topics couples must deal
with: money, sexual frequency, and the amount
of time spent together.
Creating Couple Connection
 Keep relationship a high priority.
 Supportive and positive communication.
 Enjoy leisure activities together.
 Consciously and continuously strive to
maintain intimacy.

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Chapter 7

Marriage: From Social Institution to

 Polygamy: Having more than one spouse

 Enhanced social support

 The inevitable decline from the emotional

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