Session 6

Topics for Discussion:

• Why Emotional Resilience Is a Trait You can develop

• Resilience in Children
• Resilience in Women
• Resilience in Men
• Resilience in Caregiving
Why Emotional Resilience
Is a Trait
You Can Develop
 What Is Emotional Resilience?

• Emotional resilience refers to one’s ability to adapt to

stressful situations or crises. More resilient people are able
to "roll with the punches" and adapt to adversity without
lasting difficulties; less resilient people have a harder time
with stress and life changes, both major and minor.
• Research shows that those who deal with minor stresses
more easily also can manage major crises with greater ease.
So, resilience has its benefits for daily life as well as for the
rare major catastrophe.
What Influences Emotional Resilience?

Developed through practice

Gender

Age

Exposure to trauma
Traits of Emotional Resilience

Resilience is not a quality that you either do or do

not possess; there are varying degrees of how
well a person can handle stress. Still, there are
specific characteristics that resilient people tend
to share. Here are some of the main
characteristics.
TRAITS OF EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE
Optimism (focus on your strengths)

Resilient people also see the positives in

most situations and believe in their
strength. This can shift how they handle
problems from a victim mentality to an
empowered one, and more choices open
up
Self – belief (confident &
have self-esteem)
thinking positively about yourself and your abilities
a person’s belief in their ability to complete tasks and to
achieve their goals (Bandura, 1995)
means that you should have enough self-confidence to
change, but not over-estimate your abilities, as that could
become a fixed mindset attitude
you should be willing to grow and adapt but still have ideas
about your strengths and weaknesses so that you can work
on the weaker areas.
Self-Control(Self-Discipline)
the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s
emotions and desires or the expression of them in
one’s behavior, especially in difficult situations
the ability to manage your actions, feelings and
emotions.
the quality that allows you to stop yourself from
doing things you want to do but that might not be in
your best interest.
Adaptability (flexible)
a soft skill that means being able to rapidly learn
new skills and behaviours in response to changing
circumstances. Employers usually look for
adaptability when hiring new staff and the skill is
often included in job descriptions because of its
importance for growth within a role.
Someone demonstrating adaptability in the
workplace is flexible and has the ability to
respond effectively to their working conditions-
even things don’t go as planned.
• Seeks different point of view
• Can tolerate high level of ambiguities
• Deals with challenges and adopts
change
• Asks help
• Can challenge sacred cow
(one that is often unreasonable
Adaptability
immune from criticism or opposition)
People with emotional awareness
understand what they’re feeling
and why. They also understand
the feelings of others better
because they are more in touch
with their own inner life. This
type of emotional understanding
allows people to respond
appropriately to others and to
better regulate and cope with
difficult emotions such as anger
or fear.
Perseverance
Whether they’re working toward outward goals
or on inner coping strategies, they’re action-
oriented-they trust in the process and don’t give
up. Resilient people don’t feel helpless or
hopeless when they are facing a challenge. They
are more likely to keep working toward a goal
when they are faced with an obstacle
Social Support (network of
friends or family)
Social support plays a critical role in
fostering resilience in addition to improving
overall mental well-being. While resilient
people tend to be strong individuals, they
know the value of social support and can
surround themselves with supportive
friends and family
Sense of Humor (can laugh
at lifes frustrations)
People strong in emotional resilience can laugh
at life’s difficulties. This can be a tremendous
asset, as it shifts one’s perspective from seeing
things as a threat to seeing them as a challenge,
and this alters how the body reacts to stress.
They also get a good laugh more often, and this
brings benefits as well.
Laugh-Ability
• Has the ability to influence one’s
attitude
• can find humor in rough situation
• Can “laugh at myself”
• Has a time to play
• Generally cheerful
• Engage in “hobby”
People with strong in emotional
resilience can 
laugh at life’s difficulties. This can
be a tremendous asset, as it shifts
one's perspective from seeing
things as a threat to seeing them as
a challenge, and this alters how the
body reacts to stress.
Perspective
Resilient people can learn from their
mistakes (rather than deny them), see
obstacle as challenges, and allow adversity
to make them stronger. They can also find
meaning in life’s challenges rather than
seeing themselves as victims.
Spirituality
Being connected to your spiritual side has
been linked with stronger emotional resilience
especially if you’re internally connected and
not just going through the motions of
attending services. (This doesn’t mean that
people who aren’t spiritual can’t be resilient,
only that this connection has been found.
 • Feeling that your work
• Being appreciated of what one do and life has meaning &
• Makes significant contributions purpose beyond self
• The core values drive one’s Alignment
behavior
• Has strong support system
• Have a healthy lifestyle
Building Resiliency in
Children
Schools must provide all of our youth, but
especially those most at risk, with
experiences that will build their reservoir of
resilience.
Richard Sagor
Resilience in Children: Strategies
to Strengthen Your Kids
Help your child build resilience in the face of obstacles
including bullying, moving, divorce, and anxiety with
these tips from an expert.
> All children are capable of working through challenges
and coping with stress. Resilience is the ability to bounce
back from stress, adversity, failure, challenges, or even
trauma. It’s not something that kids either have or don’t
have; it’s a skill that kids develop as they grow.
Resilience in Children: Strategies
to Strengthen Your Kids
> Resilient kids are more likely to take healthy
risks because they don’t fear falling short of
expectations. They are curious, brave, and
trusting of their instincts. They know their limits
and they push themselves to step outside of their
comfort zones. This helps them reach for their
long-term goals and it helps them solve problems
independently.
Stress and Resilience

• All kids encounter stress of varying degrees as they

grow. Despite their best efforts, parents can’t protect
kids from obstacles. Kids get sick, move to new
neighborhoods, encounter bullies and cyberbullies, 
take tests, cope with grief, lose friends, and 
deal with divorce, to name a few. These obstacles
might seem small in the eyes of an adult, but they feel
large and all-consuming to kids.
Stress and Resilience
• Resilience helps kids navigate these stressful
situations. When kids have the skills and the
confidence to confront and work through their
problems, they learn that they have what it takes to
confront difficult issues. The more they bounce
back on their own, the more they internalize the
message that they are strong and capable.
Strategies to Build Resilience

• Parents can help kids build resilience and confront

uncertainty by teaching them to solve problems
independently. While the gut reaction of the parent
might be to jump in and help so that the child avoids
dealing with discomfort, this actually weakens resilience.
Kids need to experience discomfort so that they can learn
to work through it and develop their own problem-
solving skills. Without this skill-set in place, kids will
experience anxiety and shut down in the face of
adversity.
Build a Strong Emotional
Connection
Spend one-on-one time with your kids: Kids develop
coping skills within the context of caring relationships,
so it’s important to spend one-on-one time with them.
This means you need to put down the smart phone and
focus on your child. When kids know they have the
unconditional support of a parent, family member, or
even a teacher, they feel empowered to seek guidance
and make attempts to work through difficult situations.
Positive connections allow adults to model coping and
problem-solving skills to children.
Promote Healthy Risk-Taking

In a world where playgrounds are made “safe” with bouncy

floor materials and helicopter parenting, it’s important to
encourage kids to take healthy risks. What’s a healthy risk?
Something that pushes a child to go outside of their comfort
zone, but results in very little harm if they are unsuccessful.
Examples include trying a new sport, participating in the
school play, or striking up a conversation with a shy peer.
When kids avoid risk, they internalize the message that they
aren’t strong enough to handle challenges. When kids
embrace risks, they learn to push themselves.
Resist the Urge to Fix It and Ask
Questions Instead
When kids come to parents to solve their
problems, the natural response is to lecture
or explain. A better strategy is to ask
questions. By bouncing the problem back to
the child with questions, the parent helps the
child think through the issue and come up
with solutions.
Teach Problem-Solving Skills

The goal is not to promote rugged self-

reliance. We all need help sometimes, and
it’s important for kids to know they have
help. By brainstorming solutions with kids,
parents engage in the process of solving
problems. Encourage kids to come up with a
list of ideas and weigh the pros and cons of
each one.
Label Emotions

When stress kicks in, emotions run hot.

Teach your kids that all feelings are important
and that labeling their feelings can help them
make sense of what they’re experiencing. Tell
them it’s okay to feel anxious, sad, jealous,
etc. and reassure them that bad feelings
usually pass.
Demonstrate Coping Skills

Deep breathing exercises help kids

relax and calm themselves when
they experience stress or frustration.
This enables them to remain calm
and process the situation clearly.
Embrace Mistakes—Theirs and
Yours
Failure avoiders lack resilience. In fact, failure avoiders
tend to be highly anxious kids. When parents focus on
end results, kids get caught up in the pass/fail cycle.
They either succeed or they don’t. This causes risk
avoidance. Embracing mistakes (your own included)
helps promote a growth mindset and gives kids the
message that mistakes help them learn. It can be
helpful to talk about a mistake you made and how you
recovered from it.
Promote the Bright Side—Every
Experience Has One
Optimism and resiliency go hand in hand.
Some kids may appear more naturally
optimistic than others, but optimism can be
nurtured. If you have a mini pessimist on
your hands, acknowledge the feelings that
lead to pessimistic thinking and teach your
child to reframe his thoughts to find the
positive.
Model Resiliency

The best way to teach resilience is to model

it. We all encounter stressful situations. Use
coping and calming strategies. Deep
breathing can be an effective way to work
through stress. Always label your emotions
and talk through your problem-solving
process.
Go Outside

• Exercise helps strengthen the brain and make it more resilient

to stress and adversity. While team sports are the most
popular method of consistent exercise for kids, all kids really
need is time spent outdoors engaging in a physical activity. If
team sports don’t appeal to your child, encourage them or
introduce them to bicycling, playing tag, or even just swinging
at the playground. These are all great ways for kids to engage
in free play that also builds resilience.
• Resilience helps kids navigate the obstacles they encounter as
they grow. It’s not possible to avoid stress, but being resilient is
one of the best ways to cope with it.
Key experiences of children that
hones optimism
*provide them with authentic evidence of
academic success (competence);
• show them that they are valued members of a
community (belonging);
• reinforce feelings that they have made a real
contribution to their community (usefulness); and
• make them feel empowered (potency).
(Glasser 1990, Manning and Baruth 1995, Wehlage et al. 1989),
students who regularly have feelings of failure,
alienation, uselessness, and impotence reinforced
through their school experiences will be young
people poorly equipped to cope with adversity.

Instilling positive feelings or positive image in

from planned educational experiences will
enable him or her to experience feelings of
competence, belonging, usefulness, potency,
and optimism.
Resilience in Children: Strategies to Strengthen Your Kids
Building Resiliency in
Men & Women
EQUAL NUMBERS OF MEN AND
WOMEN CAN
• Have a similar mental health reaction to combat-
related trauma.
(American Psychological Association, Journal of
Abnormal Psychology)
•  Feel shame. (Research by Brene’ Brown)
• Experience depression.
(American National Institute of Health)
 
DIFFERENCES INCLUDE
• Biology:
- Women have a health advantage due to the protective factor of
estrogen, which protects against heart disease, while testosterone
suppresses the immune system.
- Women tend to have stronger links connecting both sides of their
brains, which support their emotional intelligence, intuition and ability
to multi-task. Men tend to have connections within each side of their
brains which support their logic, spatial awareness and
coordination.  (Ragini Verma, National Academy of Sciences)

- Women experience more psychological stress than men. (Suzanne

Petroni, International Center for Research on Women)
Behaviour Choices:
• Women tend to see their doctors more regularly, smoke less
and drink less. (Medscape Worldwide)
• About 1 in 5 men and 1 in 12 women will have a problem
with alcohol. (World Health Organization)
• Women are much more likely to seek help for their life
stressors and problems. Two-thirds of those who seek
therapy are women.  (American Psychological Association)
• Women initiate divorce 62% of the time. (US States)
• Men follow through on the act of suicide three times more
often than women. (Centre for Suicide Prevention, Canadian
Mental Health)
Social Tendencies: 
• women have moved up the social ladder in matters of independence,
earnings and status.
• More women struggle with a disproportionate amount of trauma
from sexual violence, socio-economic disadvantage, low income and
the responsibility of the care of others. 
• Women tend to have deeper support and social networks than men. 
• Men often believe to be a man they need to act strong and powerful,
to defend and fight, to stifle vulnerable feelings, and to avoid showing
affection except during sex. 
• Women tend to be the nurturer and center of their household. They
tend to carry more of the family emotional load.
Note: some people have argued that some of these points are hard-wired into our
biology.
 HOW TO HELP MEN AND WOMEN
BUILD RESILIENCE
To Build Men’s Resilience Encourage Them to:

• Seek help for medical and psychological issues.

• Make social connections.
• Show care and concern.
• Listen to and share facts and feelings.
• Develop their emotional intelligence.
• Support women in their strength and power.
• Not help in the home, but partner the load.
 HOW TO HELP MEN AND WOMEN
BUILD RESILIENCE
To Build Women’s Resilience Encourage Them to:
• Begin to continue to care for themselves.
• Take less responsibility for others’ choices.
• Not get caught in personal conflict and let go of grudges
• Hear the feelings under the facts.
• Develop their logical thinking.
• Support men in their vulnerability and softness.
• Assert their rights of mutual-support.
Building Resilience: How
to Ensure Women Are
Not Left Behind as a
Result of COVID-19
Below are five recommendations, for how to equip women with tools
from the financial sector to prepare for and mitigate the economic effects
of the pandemic.
1. Ensure women have equal
access to technology.
Before we can address the financial services gender gap, we have to
lessen the technology gap. As COVID-19 spreads, rapid access to
information could be a matter of life and death. However, on average,
women are 
10 percent less likely to own a mobile phone and 26 percent less likely t
o have access to the internet on them
. Women are 9 percentage points less likely to be literate. Lower rates of
mobile and smartphone ownership, mobility constraints, limited access
to education, and lower literacy levels mean that public health messages
may not reach women as easily as men. This information inequality limits
women’s ability to prepare for the virus and change their behavior to
reduce risk of infection.
2. Increase women’s access to
digital financial services.
An outcome of closing the digital gap should be that more
women have access to digital financial services, which will
enable them to access funds, make deposits, and make
payments without having to travel or physically interact with
another person. Yet according to GSMA, there are 184 million
fewer women who own mobile phones and 327 million fewer
women who can access the internet through a phone than
men. Many women borrow a family member’s phone when
they need access. As a result, women lose out on the benefits
of secure, private digital payments that eliminate the need for
travel.
3. Lessen the impacts of the burden
of unpaid care work on women.
Women disproportionately shoulder unpaid work of caring for children,
the elderly, and the sick. Even outside of pandemics, women are
anywhere from 
two to ten times more likely to take on unpaid care work than men.
This responsibility suppresses women’s own economic endeavors.
When a husband or family member is sick, women often sacrifice paid
work to provide care, leaving them especially vulnerable to contracting
the virus and losing valuable work time. Covering the costs of an
unforeseen health emergency is one of the most common reasons
women give for having to liquidate or decapitalize their businesses, and
can quickly deplete savings and push families into poverty.
Furthermore, anticipation of these costs discourage women from
seeking medical attention for their own health issues.
4. Enable full functionality of
government-to-person (G2P) accounts for
financial health.
With economy-wide shutdowns becoming the new normal,
social assistance programs are responding urgently to provide
immediate economic relief and allow people to stay at home
to reduce transmission. About 100 million people around the
world receive a government payment, with most of these
social support payments going to women. Many women have
bank accounts thanks to G2P programs. However, it is common
that G2P recipients only know how to use these accounts for
cash withdrawal. Some do not even know they have these
account and that funds are being deposited.
5. Invest in collecting sex-disaggregated data and
improving data quality to inform policies and
products.

While we can anticipate potential gender differences in

the pandemic’s economic implications, we do not know
yet the full extent of these impacts. These efforts are
critical to help prepare for the next crisis by collecting,
analyzing, and presenting data disaggregated by gender
and other socioeconomic characteristics. While in-
person primary data collection efforts are for now on
hold due to social distancing, 
remote options hold promise.
Building Resiliency in
Caregiving
 Realities in Caregiving
• Despite the challenges of caregiving, some caregivers don’t
experience negative outcomes. Resilience is a key reason for
this.
• While research continues to show that caregiving can
negatively impact physical and mental health – the effects
are far from consistent. Many caregivers experience at least
some positive outcomes from their roles. Some may
experience few negative effects at all, even when the
demands of caregiving are high.
• For that matter, two caregivers in similar caregiving
situations may have completely different experiences.
What causes
these differences?

•One key aspect, which

focused on in this post:
Resilience refers to
the ability to not only
endure a challenging
situation, but to bounce
back and grow from it.
Instead, resilience refers
to a type of inward
strength, one that can
change the caregiving
process. Being resilient
doesn’t suddenly make
caregiving a walk in the
park, but as your resilience
increases, you’re likely to
find that many of the
stresses of caregiving
become less significant.
Ways to Increase Resilience in caregiving

• Shifting Your Expectations of Reality. ...

• Changing Expectations of Yourself. ...
• Self-Compassion. ...
• Thinking About Attribution and Blame. ...
• Positive Coping Strategies. ...
• Living in the Moment. ...