SOFTSKILLS (UHS 1022)

LECTURE NOTE SERIES

CHAPTER
4
INTELLIGEN
EMOTION
CE
AL

DR. FATMAWATI LATADA

What is emotion There are 3,000 words in English thesaurus
describe various emotions. In that, 1051
word described positive emotions, while 2086
Emotion is often defined in psychologically, as a described negative emotions.
complex state of feeling that results in physical
and psychological changes that influence
thought and behavior. It’s complex due to its
associated with a range of psychological
phenomena, including character, personality,
mood, and motivation.

David G. Myers suggested that human emotion

involves "...physiological arousal, expressive
behaviors, and conscious experience.“

Myers DG. Theories of Emotion. In: Psychology: Seventh Edition. Worth

Publishers, 2004.
Anger is a physiological sensation due to We can manage anger by giving some time to the
biochemical reactions in our body. Adrenaline signals that trigger our nerve to reach the rational
for example prepares our body to respond to area in our brain. Normally, responses that taken
place prior to that might lead to reckless acts.
things rated as attacks. Often, bodily tension Pausing our reaction (i.e., waiting for 3 to 5
and other emotions such as frustration, second) widen the gap between the stimulus and
anxiety, resentment, hatred etc. often the undesirable response.
accompany anger.
Note that anger is a secondary emotion, the
Anger is a mask to cover up the fear and pain primary emotion possibly marked as fear,
we experience. The message brought by anger frustration and maybe affection.
is hopes, standards and important principles
we that we hold dearly have been violated
Example:
either by others or our own selves.
We used to hear our mother
says, ‘I am nagging because I
Experts suggested that most anger does not just love you’. We are coming
happen, rather It is an outbreak or result of so home late for example, our
many past experiences such as reminiscent, hurt, mother greets us at the door
anxiety, old wound etc. and starts raising her voice,
asking where we have been.
She exhibited anger, nagging
etc. Yet, her real emotion is
Anger
concern, she is worried for our
safety.
 The antidote to grief is acceptance.
Acceptance occurs when we decide that
Grief is a deeper spectrum of sadness. Grief normally comes it is appropriate to let go of grief and
about when we lose something we love or dear to us. The focus on the things we can control. For
pain of losing loved one can cause severe suffering to a example, we may lose a job, but we still
person. have a healthy body, our degree and
chance to keep trying and find another
job or start our own business. We may
Grief have failed to answer most of the
questions on yesterday’s test yet, we
have time to prepare for tomorrow’s
subjects.

"He said, "I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah, and I know
from Allah that which you do not know." - Surah Yusuf: 86-
Fear protects us from unwanted
things. Fear of failure for example,
motivates us to learn and make
necessary preparations.

Fear of being involved in an

accident create caution.

Fear has different levels; low,

medium, and severe. The severe
level might disturb our functioning.
Being too afraid for example,
might cause sleep deprivation.

Fear warns us that something is

going to happen, and it wants us
to prepare to face it.

Fear may also take place when we

are in ignorance. That’s why
among the tips to confidently
attend an interview (besides your
qualification of course) is to find
out about the company you wish to
join.

Consequently, if there is
something we fear, study it,
understand it or consult the expert
group in the field.
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
• Emotional intelligence is the ability to
recognise and understand emotions in
ourselves and others, also the ability to use
this awareness to manage our behaviour
and relationship. (Bradberry T. & Greaves J.,
2009).
• A person’s ability to recognize and
understand own and those of others’
emotions, also managing emotions
effectively in others and oneself. (Goleman D.,
1995)
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MODEL BASE ON GOLEMAN
HOW DOES EI WORK?
1 ACTIVATING EVENT
FRONTAL LOBE

LIMBIC SYSTEM
(AMYGDALA)

+ HEART

3 RESULT:
GOOD RESPONSE
 HOW MIND & HEART CAN WORK TOGETHER?

‫علٰى‬ َ ‫اما َّوق ُُع ْو ًدا َّو‬ ‫ي‬ ِ

‫ق‬ ‫ه‬
َ ٰ
ً َ ّ ‫ال ّ َ ِذيْ َن ي َ ْذك ُُر ْو َن الل‬
‫الس ٰم ٰو ِت‬ َّ ‫ُجن ُ ْو ِب ِه ْم َويَتَ َفك َّ ُر ْو َن ِف ْي َخل ِْق‬
ٰ ْ‫اطلًاۚ ُسب‬
‫حن َ َك‬ ِ َ‫ت ٰه َذا ب‬ َ ْ‫ض َربَّنَا َما َخلَق‬ ۚ ِ ‫َوالْا َ ْر‬
‫ابالن ّ َِار‬َ ‫ع َذ‬ َ ‫َف ِقنَا‬
“Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on
their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens
and the earth, [saying], "Our Lord, You did not create this
aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then
protect us from the punishment of the Fire”.
(Aal –Emran: 191)
 1 SOMETHING HAPPENS

THINKING ABOUT GOD’S

+ ALWAYS
REMEMBER
CREATION /PLAN (PREDESTINED) THE GOD

3 RESULT:
GOOD RESPONSE
 EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE STRATEGIES
 1. SELF-AWARENESS STRATEGIES
Few steps to build self awareness in dealing with people.
Strategies to build high EI
Utilize an assertive style of
• When something unexpected happens, firstly know your hot buttons/ triggers. communicating. Brave to say “No”
Source of feeling and what is your true feeling that time.
Know hot • Example anger
about work that you cannot do.
button
Respond instead of reacting to
conflict.
• Alert Body reaction toward the feeling Utilize active listening skills. Be a good
How body • Example : clenched fists, sweating, trembling listener
response
Be motivated. Put goals and ambition
high to push your internal locus of
• Realised your triggers impact your behaviour control
• what you feel physically that let you know your button are being pushed
Recall physical Practice ways to maintain a positive
feedback
. Write down your ‘hot button’ issues then recall
attitude.
Practice self-awareness.
• Write how you typically or automatically respond when trigered.
• Example: Body shaking Take critique well.
Automatic
responses Empathize with others.
 Aware of Your Hot-buttons or triggers and Its
Impact to Your Response or Behaviour

YOUR HOT-BUTTON YOUR PHYSICAL CUES YOUR TYPICAL RESPONSE

heat on the face, quick Argue back, speedy

Someone raises their pulse, temperature rise… reply…
voice or being rude

Someone commented the temperature rise, dry High tone, retaliate, hit
way you do your task throat, tremble hands… the table, cursing…
harshly, yet, that
someone did not do his /
her potion as expected.
 • Assess your strengths.
2. SELF-MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES • Prioritize your
responsibilities. Do a
• Few steps in develops self management: notes and put the
• Take a deep breath/ istighfar/ smile/ count down 10-1 importance work to do at
the first.
• Create an emotion responses together with reason • Develop organizational
triggers list (help to identify root cause of your systems.
responses) • Create strict deadlines.
• Having the emotional and rational responses list help • Perform one task at a
you to choose the best option rather than allowing time. Systematic
your emotion to hijack the situation. working
• Practice patience.
• Incorporate time to process your emotion.
Always practice calm
• Take care of your health
and wellness.Follow the
Ministery of Health
 Example of EMOTION, REASON,
emotional and rational response
EMOTION REASON EMOTIONAL RATIONAL
RESPONSE RESPONSE

Anger frustrated Retaliate Listen,

resonate

Hurt Trust denied shutdown Ask for reason

& listen
3. SOCIAL AWARENESS STRATEGIES
1.Understand what it
• Greet people by name. It helps break down barriers.
means to listen. Used a
People are feel respected when they are called by his
good listening skills
or her name.
2.Repeat what was said.
• Alert with the body language. Sometime people are
3.Pay attention to tone of
fell not ready to hear because they have a lot of work
voice.
to do.So they sitting restlessly
4.Watch facial expressions
• Notice their eye movement, facial expression, and body language.
gestures, posture
5.Keep a finger on the
• Try to feel empathy which is put our self in others pulse of the office.
person shoes. 6.Notice the details.
Note: these help to understand a person’s natural 7.Avoid the drive-by.
behaviour patterns
 4. RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
• Respect the Client's
Time. Time is the most
precious and finite • Be open and curious
resource you and your
clients have. • receiving others perspectives
• Get Face to Face. through feedback
• UNDER Promise and • take a moment to acknowledge
OVER Deliver. the feelings of others –be
• Don't Burn Bridges empathic
With Pettiness.
• Set Mutual Goals.
• Build Credibility Over
Time.
• Be Transparent and
Human.
 IS
• Consider other’s emotion
• Take their prospective
• Withold judgemment
CASE STUDY 2.0 Daniel supervised his Ph.D student (Amir) dedicatedly for over 3
years. He helped the student built his study from scratch. When the
(DR. DANIEL & student is to sit for pre-viva, Daniel was told that there is a second
PROF. ALI) supervisor for the student. Daniel was so surprised because he had
never been informed of the existence of the 2nd supervisor.
However, for student’s advantage, Daniel made another copy of the
thesis for that 2nd supervisor.
Next morning, Daniel received a short message from the 2nd
supervisor: "This student is not well supervised. There are many
weaknesses. This thesis needs to undergo a major revision“
Reading the message Daniel was shocked and he felt his body
tightened and his hands began to shake. The comments really
offended him. He has a sudden urge of energy to retaliate and
argue.
Instead, he took a couple of deep breaths and waited for a couple of
minutes. Daniel then replied to the message: “I know you expect
more, but I do not think it is fair for you to judge me and the student
like that. I will see you and explain what I mean. Thank you”.
QUESTION:
Do you think Dr. Daniel has high
emotional intelligence?
 ANALYZING CASE STUDY 2.0
� Daniel demonstrates a high level of EI
� He is aware Ali’s comments are effecting him
� He realised his physical response
� He know his natural / emotional reaction
� He effectively navigate the potential emotional hijacking
by taking a couple of deep breath and wait for a moment
prior to responding.
� He uses social awareness to acknowledge that his second
SV (Prof. Ali) is not happy but remain open to negotiate.
 EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE TEST

www.psychologytoday.com/us/test/
personality/emotional-intelligence-t
est

(146 items: 20-30 minutes)

THANK YOU