Empathy

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, Marshall Rosenberg

Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook: A Practical Guide

for Individual, Group Or Classroom Study, Lucy Leu

www.cnvc.org
 What is Empathy?
• a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing.
• a call to empty our mind and listen with our whole being.
• to shed all preconceived ideas and judgments.
• to focus full attention on the other person’s message.
• to offer the time and space needed to express fully and to
feel understood.

The key ingredient is presence. This distinguishes empathy

from mental understanding or sympathy.
Life-alienating Thoughts:
What an insensitive idiot! What gives him the right to tell me what to do? He
doesn’t have the faintest idea of what I went through!
Self-empathy:
I feel upset hearing him talk to me in that way . . . I feel vulnerable.
I need compassion, and I want to hear some caring words!
I’m feeling hot, my neck and chest feels tight.
I feel annoyed, tense . . . I want more acceptance in how I have chosen to do things.
I feel hurt. I’m sad. He doesn’t know what happened. I have a need to be
understood.
I want acknowledgment for all those challenges, difficulties. I want to be seen and
understood accurately!
 Homework
This week notice where the high-stress moments are, e.g., getting
up, traffic, children fighting, meeting the boss, etc.
Jot down what you think and say to yourself during these
moments.
a. Review what you observed of your thoughts and inner dialogues.
Were there judgments of yourself, the situation, or other people?
Did your thoughts embody other forms of life-alienating
communication? Translate them into feelings and needs.
b. Ask yourself, “What do I truly want to see happen in this
situation?”
c. Then ask, “What specifically can I do to contribute to the
changes I want to see happen?”