TIPS

HOW TO COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVELY

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DESSY NOOR MULYANISARI, S. S
TODAY’S QUOTE
"It is a mistake to look at someone who
is self assertive and say, 'It's easy for
her, she has good self-esteem.' One of
the ways you build self-esteem is by
being self-assertive when it is not easy
to do so. There are always times when
self-assertiveness requires courage, no
matter how high your self-esteem." ―
Nathaniel Branden
 What is Assertive Communication?

Ifyou find yourself in a difficult situation, assertiveness helps you to convey your message directly without being perceived as
disrespectful or overbearing. This enables you to express a wide range of thoughts and feelings in an open and honest way
without hurting or alienating others.

To see the value of assertiveness, compare it to behaviours we tend to resort to when difficult situations arise:

• Direct aggression: bossy, intolerant, and overbearing

• Indirect aggression: sarcastic, insinuating and guilt-inducing
• Submissive: passive, submissive, and apologetic
• Assertive: direct, honest, and responsible.

Used appropriately, assertiveness can help you achieve goals and protect yourself from being taken advantage of.
 Your Assertiveness Toolkit

When you need to be assertive, capitalise on your natural tools to convey and reinforce your message. Think about how you use
different aspects of your body:

• Eye contact: demonstrate that you are interested and sincere

• Body posture: face the person to reinforce interest without being intimidating
• Voice: use a calm and convincing tone
• Timing: judge the best moment to respond for maximum impact
• Gestures: add emphasis to key points.
 TIPS
HOW TO COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVELY

1. Ensure that you tell the other person how you feel.
2. Listen (actively) to what the other person says and empathize.
3. Accept positive and negative feedback respectfully.
4. Speak at a normal conversational volume.
5. Sound firm but not aggressive.
6. Maintain eye contact.
7. Use "I" statements to get your messages across firmly, such as, "I want". Aggressive statements tend to begin
with "you".
8. Avoid words that exaggerate, such as, "always" and never". For example, say "This is the third time this week
you've delegated your work to me", rather than "You always give me your work."
9. Use facts rather than judgements, such as saying "This article has information about X missing" rather than
"You've done a bad job again."
10. Use clear-cut verbs so your message gets across, for instance, instead of saying "could" or "should" you can
say "will", rather than using "need" you can say "want". For example, "I want to attend this conference because..."
 TASK

• explain what your points of interest are with the major you are taking and how you can contribute
later as brief as possible
THANK YOU