ATR Language Paper 1 2020 SOW 2

GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE – PAPER ONE
REVISION
This is a 6 week SOL, for Year 10, that introduces students to language Paper 1.
Strategies/ formulas include:
• Summarised criteria for each question using key words:
SIMPLE/SOME/CLEAR/DETAILED
• The Big idea – students summarising the main message and intention of the
writer – in order to access the effect on the reader.
• FIT – students consider what the writer wants the reader to:
Feel/Imagine/Think – supporting students to access the effect on the reader.
• PTEAR – writing frame for analytical paragraphs
• Recall and retention strategies
• HA slides referenced by being pink
Week 1
HMWK: Resources:
Lined paper & envelopes
Watch the video:
https://www.youtube.com/w
atch?v=hMhQIX9DCcQ
and complete Week 1 task
Lesson 1
in the booklet.
Introduction
Your new exercise book
(Write in your neatest handwriting)
Red book please!
(your first name and

surname)
English Language
A LETTER TO YOUR FUTURE SELF
We are going to write a letter to your future self that I will keep safe until the end
of Year 11.
Your letter should start with: your favourite song at the minute, what you did
in the summer holidays and what you are interested in.
Dear Future Me, Recall!

Where have you
I am now …. Years old and my favourite song is ….. written a letter
before? What are
the features of a
letter?
English Language GCSE
• To understand what you will be learning this term.
• To understand the new GCSE.
• To begin to love English.

AQA GCSE
English Language
Recall!
Where have you
seen these
questions before?
Paper 1 50% Paper 2 50%
Section A: Section B: Section A: Section B:

Reading Writing Reading Writing
1 unseen literature Descriptive or 1 non-fiction and 1 Writing to present
fiction text narrative writing literary non-fiction a viewpoint
text
Total exam time: Total exam time:

1 hour and 45 minutes 1 hour and 45 minutes
All exams will be at the end of Year 11. You will also sit an English Literature GCSE.
What will Language Paper 1 look like?
You will have to read

Front cover one fiction text and
answer questions on it.
SECTION A: 40 marks SECTION B:40 marks
Today we will
be looking at
Question 5
Q1: 4 marks Q2: 8 marks Q3: 8 marks Q4: 20 marks Q5: 40 marks
Q1: Finding
information
Write this into your exercise book.
English Language Paper 1 (fiction) - First Exam
80 marks: 40 for section A and 40 for section B.
Section A – reading – 4 questions - 45 minutes = 40 marks
Section B – writing either a story or description – 45 minutes = 40

marks
• 24 marks for ideas
• 16 marks for punctuation/ spelling/grammar This is
wha
we wi t
begin ll
with!
LP1 Section B:
Descriptive Writing (40 marks)
What is interesting about this picture?
Discuss on your table and prepare to share your ideas.
EXT: Come up with some SAMOSAPA techniques to describe the

picture.
Recall!
Where have you done
descriptive writing
before?
What writing skills do
you already have?
Task: Imagine you are the bully or the person being bullied.
How would you describe the emotion in the scene?
Ext: Which other senses might be affected? Explain

Show, don’t tell
How do you know that someone is:
Happy?
Sad?
Scared?
SHOW, DON’T TELL… a key creative writing skill
How is the person described below feeling?

How do you know?
Ext: How will “show” help you get more marks than “tell”?
SHOW
He wiped the sweat off his shaking hands
and leaned against a wall to steady himself,
momentarily relishing the cool sensation of
rough brickwork against his forehead. Trying
to calm the frantic heartbeat, he took a few
deep breaths and closed his eyes.
SHOW, DON’T TELL… a key creative writing skill
Can you rewrite the phrases below, using my example?
Ext: How will “show” help you get more marks than “tell”?
TELL SHOW
He was scared He wiped the sweat off his shaking
hands and leaned against a wall to
steady himself, momentarily relishing
the cool sensation of rough metal
against his forehead. Trying to calm
the frantic heartbeat, he took a few
deep breaths and closed his eyes.
He felt powerful
The weather was bad
Write a description suggested by this image.
Hint: Imagine that you are either the crocodile or the man.
Describe your thoughts leading up to and during this scene.
Sentence Starters.
I started to panic.
I debated whether to run..
Suddenly my legs…
I was scared.
I couldn’t wait to pierce his flesh.
My stomach growled.
Ext: Make these sentences more interesting.

You have 15 minutes to write a description
based on your chosen image
Example: Imagine that you are either the crocodile or the man.
Describe your thoughts leading up to and during this scene.
Exam Focus:
Question 2
Extract: War Horse
print next slide
Lesson 2
Q1 & 2 Language
Title: LP1, Question 1&2
DO NOW: Q1 practice:
Read again the first part of the source, lines 1 to 4.
List four things from this part of the text that we learn about the
horse’s early memories.
[4 marks]
EXT:
1. Who is the narrator?
2. What is happening to him?
3. How does he feel about it?

Today we will
be looking at
Question 2
Q1: FindingLO: To familiarize yourself with LP1 Q2 and to be able to answer the question.
information
Language Analysis
Write definitions for the following words:
1. Implicit
2. Explicit
3. Inference
4. Analysis
5. Connotation
Language Analysis
1. Implicit suggested though not directly expressed.

2. Explicit stated clearly and in detail, leaving no room for confusion or doubt
3. Inference a conclusion reached on the basis of evidence and reasoning
4. Analysis detailed examination of the elements or structure of something.
5. Connotation an idea or feeling which a word invokes for a person in addition to
its literal or primary meaning.
Exam Focus: Question 2
Key Words: verbs, adjectives,
connotations, language analysis
1. Find a synonym for each word (a word that
has the same or similar meaning).
2. Which words can you group together? Recall!
Where have we
used these skills
before?
desperate
disposed
whisked driven
fine terrible
circled spindly wild gangling

Question 2: Language Analysis
Golden rules! (Write these down)

Recall!
1. Read the question Where have used
PEARL before?
2. Highlight the key words in the question

3. Read the text and highlight powerful words and phrases.
4. Pick 3 words/phrases or techniques to focus on.
5. Write 2-3 detailed paragraphs using PEEE/TEARL/PETER etc,
embed quotes.
6. WRITE A LOT ABOUT A LITTLE!
P T/E/A R
What-Is the writers How – INFERENCE + What is

intentions? the method they are using to Why are they trying to create
What tone are they trying to create this? this effect?
create? LANGUAGE technique How does it impact the
TONE/ mood or atmosphere PROVE IT! With a quote reader?
QUESTION 2
Q2 [AO2] Look in detail at this extract from lines 5 to 18 of the source.
I was not yet six months old, a gangling, leggy colt who had never
been further than a few feet from his mother. We were parted that
Feedback:
day in the terrible hubbub of the auction ring and I was never to see What have you
her again. She was a fine working farm horse, getting on in years but
with all the strength and stamina of an Irish draught horse quite evident found? Methods?
in her fore and hind quarters. She was sold within minutes, and before
I could follow her through the gates, she was whisked out of the ring Effects?
and away. But somehow I was more difficult to dispose of. Perhaps it
was the wild look in my eye as I circled the ring in a desperate search
for my mother, or perhaps it was that none of the farmers and gypsies Firstly, read it through and
there were looking for a spindly-looking half thoroughbred colt. But think about what the BIG IDEA
whatever the reason they were a long time haggling over how little I was
worth before I heard the hammer go down and I was driven out through
is?______________________
the gates and into a pen outside.
Then try to focus in on smaller
How does the writer use language here to show us what the horse felt about parts of the big idea and name
being up for sale?
them with adjectives:
You could include the writer’s choice of: 1.
• words and phrases 2.
• language features and techniques 3
• sentence forms. [8 marks]
I do: Write a lot about a little!
How much can you say about the quote?
Chaotic noise made by a group of

people
Suggests there was no way out.
Has connotations of fighting
‘The terrible hubub of the auction ring’
Adjective makes the noise seem like Suggests the horses are being
an awful thing treated like objects being sold
Key Word: Connotations
Connotations are the images or ideas associated with a word or
phrase.
What about this

energetic word?
wildlife
untamed
wild desperate
angry
mad
Out of control Choose your own word from

the text and explore its
connotations
I do - write it up:
people
Suggests there was no way out.
Has connotations of fighting
‘The terrible hubub of the auction ring’
Adjective makes the noise seem like Suggests the horses are being
an awful thing treated like objects being sold
WAGGOLL:
The writer shows how the horse felt terrified by describing what was happening around
him: ‘The terrible hubbub of the auction ring’. Here the adjective ‘terrible’ makes the
chaotic noise of the crowd seem nightmarish and awful. The ‘auction’ makes us feel
sympathy for the horse because it is being treated like an object being sold.
Furthermore, the word ‘ring’ has connotations of fighting and possibly suggests there is
no way out which helps the reader understand that the horse is in danger.
You do - write it up:
The writer shows how the horse felt terrified by describing what was happening around him: ‘The terrible hubbub of the auction ring’. Here
the adjective ‘terrible’ makes the chaotic noise of the crowd seem nightmarish and awful. The ‘auction’ makes us feel sympathy for the
people
horse because it is being treated like an object being sold. Furthermore, the word ‘ring’ has connotations of fighting and possibly suggests
there is no way out which helps the reader understand that the horse is in danger
P – The writer shows the horse

feels…
E – This is shown in the line…
Stretch – write a second

A – The word ‘_________’ makes the reader feel…
PEA paragraph focusing on
The word ‘___________’ has connotations of….
a different way the horse is
Overall there is a sense that… and we understand that…
shown to feel.
How you will be assessed:
SIMPLE AWARENESS OF LANGUAGE (L1)
Simple comment on the effect of language (L1)
Simple textual detail (L1)
Simple use of subject terminology (L1)
Candidate’s answer will
SOME UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (L2) appear here on the
Attempt to comment on the effect of language (L2)
Some appropriate textual detail (L2)
Some use of subject terminology (L2)
examiner’s marking
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (L3) screen.
Clear explanation of the effects of language (L3)
Range of relevant textual detail (L3) There are 3 things you must do
Clear/accurate use of subject terminology (L3)
for this question!
DETAILED AND PERCEPTIVE UNDERSTANDING OF
LANGUAGE (L4)
Analysis of the effects of language (L4)
Judicious textual detail (L4)
Sophisticated use of subject terminology (L4)
WHAT THE EXAMINER WILL SEE
The writer shows how the horse felt terrified
Simple comment on the effect of language (L1) by describing what was happening around
him: ‘The terrible hubbub of the auction
ring’. Here the adjective ‘terrible’ makes the
SOME UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (L2)
chaotic noise of the crowd seem
Some appropriate textual detail (L2) nightmarish and awful. The ‘auction’ makes
us feel sympathy for the horse because it is
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (L3) being treated like an object being sold.
Range of relevant textual detail (L3)
Furthermore, the word ‘ring’ has
Clear/accurate use of subject terminology (L3) connotations of fighting and possibly
suggests there is no way out which helps
LANGUAGE (L4) the reader understand that the horse is in
danger.
What would this paragraph achieve?
Key Words: emotive language,
empathy, SAMOSAPA,
semantic field/
Lesson 3
Q5 Writing
LO: To practice writing skills; to write from a different perspective
Language Techniques
1. What is a semantic field?

2. What is an extended metaphor?
3. What is personification?
4. What is an oxymoron?
5. What is hyperbole?
Challenge:
What is syntax?
Language Techniques
1. A semantic field is a set of words related in meaning. The phrase is also
known as a lexical field.
2. A comparison between two things that continues throughout a series of
sentences in a paragraph, or lines in a poem.
3. The attribution of a personal nature or human characteristics to
something non-human .
4. A figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in
conjunction.
5. exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.
Syntax: the arrangement of words and phrases

Good writing is good writing and will contain both narrative elements
and vivid description.
empathy, verbs, adjectives,
adverbs
Link to Last Lesson:

Think of a powerful word for each of the following to sum up
how the horse felt in last lesson’s extract: Recall!
What else makes
good creative
SAMOSAPA writing? What
writing skills have
you developed
over the years?
What do you think the writer’s main purpose was in that extract?
To get across what an auction ring is like.
To prove that horses think like humans do.
To help the reader understand how the horse felt.
To show that horse’s can use good adjectives and verbs.
Usually, writers want to make the reader be able to understand how the characters feel. This
helps us empathise with them and makes them relatable. Can you come up with other words to
explain the emotions that writers evoke?
Keyword: Empathy – the ability to share t feelings and understand someone else.
Note: sympathy is slightly different – this is when we feel sorry for someone.
Emotive Language
Emotive language is any words or
phrases that make the reader feel
emotions. Writers use emotive
language to create empathy for
their characters.
Can you find any emotive language in the War

Horse extract?
What do you think is the most emotive phrase

and why? What is the key word in the phrase?
Use the extract to inspire your writing
You are going to watch a similar

Starter sentence:
situation in Disney’s classic Dumbo.
Elephants never forget…
Make notes on how the film makers
help us to empathise with Dumbo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIVsCMBMS2I
Creative Writing Task:

Write an account from the perspective of Dumbo in past tense. Make sure you use
sophisticated vocabulary, a variety of punctuation and SAMOSAPA.
Challenge: Include a semantic field or extended metaphor.

Descriptive writing tips
1. Write in paragraphs
2. Beginning, Middle and End (describe a journey) Narrative Writing Plan
3. Look at the image from different perspectives
4. Zoom in on a specific detail / zoom out (wider
perspective)
5. Show not tell
When describing the picture the students who did best

imagined themselves as part of the picture; often using the
image as a starting point.
Best responses had compelling opening and endings.
Strongest candidates had used minimal dialogue focusing

instead on the detail and description of the scene setting.
Descriptive Ingredients
1. Atmosphere/ setting/ pathetic fallacy – (zoom out)
2. Zoom in on specific aspect of image
3. One line paragraph – impactful. Add change of focus.
Flashback.
4. Imagine that you are elsewhere.
5. Return to beginning.
HA slide – what makes
your writing detailed Some IDEAS
The use of time?
and perceptive? Repeated idea of cooking or food why
is this particularly effective?
Auditory imagery
Language used to create a matter of
fact tone
HA answers, will always be planned! Irony
Contrast
They may have less time to write but what they Extract builds to an almost romantic
view, or image, to remind the reader
write will be more effective of the damage and the futility of war
More threaded/entwined effect on
Does the writing repeat an idea? reader?
Does the writing repeat an image?
Does the writing repeat the use of a method?
Does the language build to a climax ?
Exam Focus:
Question 2
Extract: Book Thief
print next slide
Lesson 4
Q2 Language
LO: To consolidate your understanding of how to analyse language.
This is an extract from The Book Thief. Death is remembering when he saw a girl during a bombing.
Question 2: Imagery
Key Words: imagery (similes,
metaphors, personification)
Visually descriptive or figurative language
Which techniques below would most likely create imagery?

Why do writer’s use imagery?
What is the effect on the reader?
Paragraphs Punctuation
Similes Repetition
Short sentences Personification

Rhyme
First person Rhetorical

Speech Metaphors questions
perspective
Key Words: imagery (similes,
metaphors, personification)
Technique Definition Your own example
Simile
Metaphor
Personification
Recall!
What other
Saying something is something else.
methods help to
create imagery?
Giving inanimate objects human attributes
1. Write the definitions into the
correct boxes. A comparison of two things using ‘like’ or ‘as’
2. Come up with your own

example to describe these
images.
3. Begin to read through the extract and highlight any effective use of imagery.
Do now:
Use the images to help you complete the table
1. Re-read the passage find and copy 3
examples of interesting language to
describe the bombs going off
2. Explode the quotations. Zoom –
Techniques - Effect
1. Then, bombs.
2. The sky was now a devastating home cooked

red.
3. The small German town had been flung

apart
How can effectively embed my quotations?
With a longer quote – state your point then introduce it like this…
P.
E.
When you zoom in, you can embed words and phrases from it to make
your writing flow – for example:
E
The word ‘devastating’ connotes_______________ this links to the later
M reference to the ‘mangled landscape’ which reinforces the total
B _______________ of the town through the use of an emotive and painful
sounding verb choice. The juxtaposition of the comforting noun phrase
E ‘home cooked’ highlights that this town was just moments ago a sanctuary
to many people, going about their normal tasks such as cooking but is now
D almost becoming cooked itself as the whole sky changes colour.
Remember: Explode the quote - write a lot about a little!
Firstly, read it through and
1. Read through the extract, highlighting any think about what the BIG IDEA
is? Then, think about FIT?
examples of imagery.
FIT
2. Just like we did for War Horse, choose a phrase What does the writer want you to FEEL?
and explore the connotations of specific words. What does the writer want you to IMAGINE?
What does the writer want you to THINK?
3. Write a paragraph answering the question: how does the writer use language to
describe the bombs going off? 8 marks
You should include the following:
 The writer’s uses of imagery

 A quotation which uses imagery
 Analysis of the simile, metaphor or personification
 The effect of the choice of language on the reader
P T/E/A R

What level is this answer?
Point: The writer uses powerful imagery to
Simple comment on the effect of language (L1) describe bombs going off and the effects that this
Simple textual detail (L1) on the town.
Evidence: The writer uses a metaphor to
SOME UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (L2) describe the “streets as ruptured veins.” This
Attempt to comment on the effect of language (L2) suggests that the city was alive and thriving
Some use of subject terminology (L2) before the bombs and is now dead and bleeding.
Key word: The verb “ruptured” has connotations
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (L3) of a volcano exploding and helps us to imagine
Range of relevant textual detail (L3) the blood as lava running through the streets.
Clear/accurate use of subject terminology (L3) Key word: Furthermore the noun “veins”
highlights how the bombs affected a large areas
LANGUAGE (L4) of the city as veins are vast and invaluable to the
Analysis of the effects of language (L4) human body.
Sophisticated use of subject terminology (L4) Reader: The reader is left shocked and
devastated at the destruction of the city.
Week 2
HMWK:
empathy, SAMOSAPA,
Watch the video:
semantic field/
atch?v=L_dE68iUg-k Print image on next slide
Lesson 5
in the booklet.
Q5 Writing
Week 2 Extracts: Focus on question 3&4 – expectations, AOs Motif Fun activity – re-write
Cat, Dog, Baby and timings. Juxtaposition the ending to Cat Dog Repetition
Holiday Memory Antithesis Baby in the same or a Shift
Recap of structural techniques. Cyclical structure different style. Contrast
Anaphora Openings
Introduce what, how, why structure for Anadiplosis Endings
Q4. Syntax
Embedded writing tasks – using the

source to inspired writing
Language Techniques
1. What is tactile imagery?

2. What is alliteration?
3. What is emotive language?
4. What is antithesis?
5. What is ellipsis? Challenge:
What is anaphora?
Language Techniques
1. Imagery pertaining to physical textures or the sense of touch.

2. The occurrence of the same sound at the beginning of adjacent or
closely connected words.
3. Words that stir up strong emotions in ther reader.
4. A person or thing that is the direct opposite of someone or something
else.
5. The omission from speech or writing of a word or words that are
superfluous or able to be understood from contextual clues.
Anaphora: the use of a word referring back to a word used earlier in a text or conversation, to
avoid repetition, for example the pronouns
LO: To learn how to plan in detail and develop vocabulary.
Come up with some SAMOSAPA techniques to describe an explosion:
S
A – A fiery fountain spewed ash.
M
O
S – The smoke rose like a snake, twisting and writhing.
A
P – The black cloud swallowed everything in its path.
A
Read the extract.
How does the writer bring the explosion to life?
You have 30 seconds to steal
What SAMOSAPA techniques can you identify?
any words and phrases that you
like to use
This is an extract from the beginning of the novel ‘Brother in your
in the ownItwriting
Land.’
describes nuclear bombs flying towards their destinations and the impact they
cause
They struck, screaming in with pinpoint accuracy, bursting with blinding flashes, as
bright as a thousand suns. Whole towns and cities vaporised instantly; while
tarmac, trees and houses thirty miles from the explosions burst into flames.
Fireballs, expanding in a second to several miles across, melted and devoured all
matter that fell within their diameters. Blast-waves, travelling faster than sound,
ripped through the suburbs. Houses disintegrated and vanished. So fierce were the
flames that they devoured all the oxygen around them, suffoccating those people
who had sought refuge in deep shelters.
You have 30 seconds to steal
any words and phrases that you
like to use in your own writing
Winds of a hundred and fifty miles an hour, rushing in to fill the vacuum, created fire-storms that
howled through the streets, where temperatures in the thousands cooked the sub-terranean
dead. The very earth heaved and shook as the warheads rained down, burst upon burst upon
burst, and a terrible thunder rent the skies.
For an hour the warheads fell, then ceased. A great silence descended over the land. The
Bokovskys had gone, and the Frimleys were no more. Through the silence, through the pall of
smoke and dust that blackened the sky, trillions of deadly radioactive particles began to fall. They
fell soundlessly, settling like and invisible snow on the devastated earth.
Incredibly, here and there, people had survived the bombardment. They lay stunned in the ruins,
incapable of thought. Drifting on the wind, the particles sifted in upon them, landing unseen on
clothing, skin and hair, so that most of these too would die, but slowly.
Paragraph 1 P2 – Zoom in on something
Focus on the atmosphere. Give an overview
Focus on the explosion. You
of everything. Place yourself there.
could describe the smoke fire,
What can you? heat, and sound.
See / hear / taste / feel Use at least 2 SAMOSA PA

techniques.
P3 – zoom in on something else

P4 – suggestion
Focus on something specific (zoom in) Describe
something that stands out. This could be the weapons Go back to the big picture. What has
and food going everywhere or someone caught in changed? Mood, atmosphere – how have
flames. people reacted? What does Katniss do next?
Describe facial expressions, body language, sounds. Cliff-hanger? Cyclical?
Movement or lack of it.
Use at least 2 SAMOSA PA techniques.

Use at least 2 SAMOSA PA techniques.
Starting with the words:
For a moment, everything seems frozen in time.
Describe the explosion

What can you steal from ‘The Book Thief’
extract from last lesson?
Can’t get started?
The pillar of fiery smoke and dust, still boiling up from where the bombs had gone off
far underground, was being violently agitated at the bottom…
That fireball flattened, then spread to form the mushroom-head of a column of

incandescent gas that mounted to overtake it, engorging the smoke-rings as it rose,
twisting, writhing, changing shape, turning to dark smoke in one moment and
belching flame and crackling with lightning the next.
The use of time?
Auditory imagery
fact tone
Contrast
Extract: Cat Dog Baby print
next two slides
Lesson 6&7
Q2 & 3
LO: To familiarize yourself with LP1 Q3 and to be able to answer the question.
TITLE: Language Paper Q1&2 Practice
DO NOW: Structural Techniques
1. What is narrative perspective?

2. What is a flashback?
3. What is repetition?
1. Narrative point of view is the perspective of the narrator.
1st / 3rd person.
2. An interjected scene or point that takes the narrative back in
time.
3. a literary device that repeats the same words or phrases a few
times to make an idea clearer and more memorable.

Recall!
What can you
remember about
these questions?
Today we will
be looking at
Q1: 4 marks Q3: 8 marks Q4: 20 marks Q5: 40 marks
Q2: 8 marks
Question
Q1: Finding 1,2&3
information
Q1 – List 4 things that we learn about Cat
1.
2.
3.
4.
Q2 - How does the writer use language to
describe how Dog is feeling in the extract?
S
Think – Pair – Share A
O
Highlight 3 examples to support your ideas.
S
EXT: Identify the technique/ word choices used. A
A
How does the writer use language to
describe how Dog is feeling? Find quotes to support each point
Jealous:
Frustrated:
Depressed:
Murderous:
Angry:
Scared:
In pain:
How does the writer use language to
describe how Dog is feeling?
Jealous: “Dog did not like Baby.”

Frustrated: “Dog never see now, always Baby gets now.”
Depressed: “Dog never treats anymore.”
Murderous: “Wouldn’t take much to rip little baby apart.”
Angry: “Kill Baby. Then there be Dog and Cat.”
Scared: “Cat jumps on Dog’s back.”
P/TEARL
In pain: “Dog yelps, runs.”
Embed quotes
Key word
Write a lot about a little!
P T/E/A R

Q2. How does the writer use language to show how the
dog is feeling?
The writer emphasises how Dog’s emotions change.
Dog feels...
We see this in the line...
The word/phrase/technique implies....
This gives a the clear impression the dog...
P/TEARL
Embed quotes
Another emotion that Dog feels is… Key word
We see this when the writer states“____” Write a lot about a little!
WHAT LEVEL IS THIS ANSWER? HOW DOES IT COMPARE TO YOURS?

Dog feels a plethora of emotions throughout
Simple comment on the effect of language (L1) the text. The emotion of pain is evident when
the writer says “Cat hangs claws in Dog’s
eyes”, which clearly demonstrates that Dog is
experiencing discomfort. In particular, the
Some appropriate textual detail (L2) negative verb “hang” effectively highlights
how viciously Cat attacks Dog. As such Dog
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (L3) may feel angry towards Cat and may cause
him to want to seek revenge. The reader feels
Clear/accurate use of subject terminology (L3) sympathy for the Dog because all Dog wanted
was love and instead he was abused.
LANGUAGE (L4)
The writer uses intense language to describe the
plethora of feelings that the Dog goes through. The
Simple textual detail (L1) most shocking for the reader is the fact that he feels
Simple use of subject terminology (L1) murderous, when he states “wouldn’t take much to
rip little baby apart.” The violent verb ‘rip’ has
connotations of something tearing and shows the
Some appropriate textual detail (L2) detrimental effects of Dog’s rage and jealousy. The
Some use of subject terminology (L2) reader is left with a feeling of unease as we begin to
worry about how far Dog will go. Furthermore the
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (L3)
fact that Dog acknowledges that it ‘wouldn’t take
Range of relevant textual detail (L3) much’ shows that he understands both his own
Clear/accurate use of subject terminology (L3) strength and Baby’s weakness; this does not make
Dog feel any sympathy or remorse and is disturbing
LANGUAGE (L4)
for the reader.
Q3-Structure
By the end of this lesson:
Answer a question 3 structure response.

(Analyse the writer’s use of structure to interest you as a reader)
Recall!
Where have you
come across this
question before?
What does structure mean?
Write a definition.
What structural techniques have you come across before?
Question 3 Exam Question
10 Minutes
The word ‘interest’ reminds students to consider the effects on them as a reader.
Shows detailed and perceptive understanding of structural features.
• Analyses the effects of the writer’s choice of structural features.

• Selects a judicious range of examples.
• Makes sophisticated and accurate use of subject terminology.
Anything that the writer uses to BUILD a text and take the reader
on a journey:
U C T U R E :
STR e n
e x t h a s b e
The way a t id d l e , e n d )
t h e r ( s t a r t , m
pu t t o ge INTRODU
CTION
CHANGE OF/CHAN
IN TIME is GE
a st r u ct u r a IN SETTIN
l de v i c e G is a
s t r uc t u r al
d e v ic e
U C T I O N O F N E /
INTROD E I N T O
A C TE R S is CHANG a E is
s U
NEW CHAR e v ice ATMO S P H ER E i DI A L O G
ic e
c t u r a l d v i c e. u r a l d e v
a st r u st r u c t u r a l d e a st r u ct
Or Remember: S.H.A.P.E.R.S
Start (how does it start / why is it engaging?)
How (does the writer make the extract interesting)
Attention (how is the readers attention shifted?)
Perspective (narrative)
End (how does the narrative end / why is this effective?)
Repetition of ideas / themes
Shift in focus/attention
Annotate structural techniques on your first reading
• Character development
• Dialogue to move on the plot
Always look for: • Narrative voice
• Motif
• Sentence structure
1. What is attention focussed on at the • Flashback
beginning? Effect? • Setting

• Tense
2. How does this change? • Change the pace
3. How does it end? • Introduce or remove

characters
4. Anything else? • Change perspective
Sequencing
Number these sentences 1-7 in the order that they appear in the text:
Cat jumps on Dog’s back, biting dog on top of head.

Kill baby. Then there be Dog, Cat again.
Cat begins to creep down the hall.
Dog had always gotten attention.
Baby looks up, sees Dog coming towards it slowly.
Cat knows dog is dead.
Dog did not like baby.
Structure – Why does the writer use this order?
Which sentence is most interesting and why?
5 Cat jumps on Dog’s back, biting dog on top of head.
3 Kill baby. Then there be Dog, Cat again.
6 Cat begins to creep down the hall.
2 Dog had always gotten attention.
4 Baby looks up, sees Dog coming towards it slowly.
7 Cat knows dog is dead.
1 Dog did not like baby.
Remember this?
This comes at the end of the

strory. What does it add to it?
Which part of the story is most interesting?
How has the writer STRUCTURED the

texto to interest you as a reader?at is
in g t Focu a s c e
inn s st t h
beg
e dog's shifts to Tw i
le d as
lm
Ca e scen plan a
h reve tor
set t narr
a
Task: Find 3 structural techniques in the text – be prepared to feedback

your finding! Highlight and annotate (make inferences /why is this section of
the text interesting?)
TIPS AND TRICKS
You can focus on any other There are 10 main "tips and tricks" to achieving 6 or more marks (out of 8) in
structural devices that this question.
interest you as a reader. The
question is NOT about 1. This question will ALWAYS ask you to focus on structure.
language analysis! 2. Read each paragraph and note down in the margin what the reader is
The most common mistake is focusing on.
to just re-tell the story: this 3. Return to the beginning (how does the writer introduce the scene and in
happened, then this what way does it make it interesting?
happened, then this 4. Look to see if there are shifts/changes in the middle and/or concluding
happened. You will get 0 sections.
marks for this!
5. Look to see if there is an meaning in how the text is organised.
It is worth 8 marks. 6. Use phrases such as 'The writer ... (insert what they do)...' and follow your
Spend 10 minutes on this observation with 'so that...' (and give a reason why they do it).
question. 7. Without fail, explain what the writer has done and why the writer has done
it (what does the reader realise or learn because of what the writer has
The main trick with this
done?).
question is, (once you have
identified the effect of the 8. NEVER write 'makes the reader want to read on...' Or 'paints a picture in
structure) to make sure the reader's head...' Etc or anything similar!
you have explained the 9. Aim for about 3 clearly explained paragraphs.
reasons why the writer has 10. Write in full sentences, remember capital letters, all punctuation and
done what they have. paragraphing.
Quick task: Q3 – How has the writer structured the text to make it
interesting for the reader? 10 minutes to finish this question
Embed your quotes
The writer has structured the text from the narrative perspective of ________,
because __________________________. At the start of the story _________ is
treated _________. However, once _______ comes along, ________ feels
_________ and wants to ____________________. This is interesting for the
reader because
_________________________________________________________________.
The writer then changes the focus to ______________, this creates excitement
and adds tension because_____________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________.
The writer also includes the structural feature of a _______________ at the end of
the story. This is particularly interesting for the reader because _______________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________ .
Which level would you give this answer?
SIMPLE AWARENESS OF STRUCTURE (L1) Level 1 response – simple, 1-2 marks
Simple comment on the effect of structure (L1)
It begins in a calm way with Dog discussing
his life with his family, but becomes
SOME UNDERSTANDING OF STRUCTURE (L2)
Attempt to comment on the effect of structure (L2)
creepier as it develops. The focus then
Some appropriate textual detail (L2) shifts to describe dog's violent and
disturbing plan through his inner thoughts
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF STRUCTURE (L3) about 'ripping the baby apart'. The
Clear explanation of the effects of structure (L3)
Range of relevant textual detail (L3) detailed nature of the dog's plan builds
Clear/accurate use of subject terminology (L3) tension as the reader understands that the
DETAILED AND PERCEPTIVE UNDERSTANDING OF dog is a threat to the baby and is excited
STRUCTURE (L4) about the idea of harming it as 'water
Analysis of the effects of structure (L4)
Judicious textual detail (L4) dripped' from its mouth. The reader
Sophisticated use of subject terminology (L4) begins to fear for the baby as the dog
seems determined to kill it.
Extract: Holiday Memory
print next slide
Lesson 8
Q4
LO: To familiarize yourself with LP1 Q4 and to be able to answer the question.
Title: Language P2 Q4.
DO NOW:
1. What is a pun?
2. What is a contrast or juxtaposition?
3. What is foreshadowing?
4. What is a pathetic fallacy?
5. What is a sibilance? Challenge:
What is ambiguity?
Language Techniques
1. A joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are
words which sound alike but have different meanings.
2. A literary technique in which two or more ideas, places, characters, and their actions
are placed side by side in a narrative or a poem, for the purpose of developing
comparisons and contrasts.
3. A warning or indication of (a future event).
4. Pathetic fallacy is a kind of personification that gives human emotions to inanimate
objects of nature; for example, referring to weather features reflecting a mood.
5. Sibilance is a more specific type of alliteration that relies on the repetition of soft
consonant sounds in words to create a wooshing or hissing sound in the writing.
Ambiguity: the quality of being open to more than one interpretation; inexactness.
Holiday Memory – Dylan Thomas
Dusk came down; or grew up out of the sands and the sea; or curled around us
from the calling docks and the bloodily smoking sun. The day was done, the sands
brushed and ruffled suddenly with a sea-brush of cold wind. We gathered together
all the spades and buckets and towels, empty hampers and bottles, umbrellas,
bats and balls, and we went -oh, listen, Dad!- to the Fair in the dusk on the bald
seaside field.
Fairs were no good in the day; then they were shoddy and tired; the voices of
hoopla girls were crimped as elocutionists; no cannonball could shake the roosting
coconuts; the gondolas mechanically repeated their sober lurch; the Wall of Death
was safe as a baby’s pram; the wooden animals were waiting for the night.
But in the night, the hoopla girls, like operatic crows, croaked at the coming moon;
whizz, whirl, and ten for a tanner, the coconuts rained from their sawdust like
grouse from the Highland sky; tipsy the griffon-prowed gondolas weaved on dizzy
rails, and the Wall of Death was a spinning rim of ruin, and the neighing wooden
horses took, to a haunting hunting tune, a thousand Beecher's Brooks as easily
and breezily as hooved swallows.
Holiday Memory – Dylan Thomas
Dusk came down; or grew up out of the sands and the sea; or curled around us
from the calling docks and the bloodily smoking sun. The day was done, the sands
brushed and ruffled suddenly with a sea-brush of cold wind. We gathered together
all the spades and buckets and towels, empty hampers and bottles, umbrellas,
bats and balls, and we went -oh, listen, Dad!- to the Fair in the dusk on the bald
seaside field.
Fairs were no good in the day; then they were shoddy and tired; the voices of
hoopla girls were crimped as elocutionists; no cannonball could shake the roosting
coconuts; the gondolas mechanically repeated their sober lurch; the Wall of Death
was safe as a baby’s pram; the wooden animals were waiting for the night.
But in the night, the hoopla girls, like operatic crows, croaked at the coming moon;
whizz, whirl, and ten for a tanner, the coconuts rained from their sawdust like
grouse from the Highland sky; tipsy the griffon-prowed gondolas weaved on dizzy
rails, and the Wall of Death was a spinning rim of ruin, and the neighing wooden
horses took, to a haunting hunting tune, a thousand Beecher's Brooks as easily
and breezily as hooved swallows.
Opinions
Why can art be so

controversial?
How can we link our thoughts

to English?
Whether you love it or hate it, all art forces us to

have some sort of opinion. There is no right or
wrong interpretation. This is exactly what
Question 4 of the Language paper is asking us to
do. It wants you to have an opinion and be able to
justify that opinion with support from the text.
TODAY’S KEY QUESTIONS:

1. Can I read a text and form my own opinion about it?
2. Can I identify methods used by a writer to achieve a particular effect and evaluate these methods?
3. Can I explain my opinions using the text to justify my own ideas?
To what extent do you agree?
1. A woman’s place is in the home.
Read through the five

ework sh
o ul d be o
ptional. statements and plot them
2 . Ho m
on the Agree/Disagree line.
4. Mon
ey i s m
ore
than lo important
v e.
3. Personality is more Justify why you have

important than beauty.
placed each statement on
the line where you have.
5. Miss Umerji sets too much Provide evidence for your
homework.
answers.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
DISAGREE AGREE

Front cover one passage and
Today we will
be looking at
Question 4
Q1: Finding
information
Here is a Language Paper 1 Question 4 example:
Q4
Focus this part of your answer on the second half of the source, from line 11
to the end.
A student, having read this section of the text said: “The writer vividly conveys
how the fair changes from day to night. It is as if you are there with the narrator.”
In your response, you should: Firstly, read it through and

think about what the BIG IDEA
• write about your own impressions of the fair is? Then, think about FIT?
• evaluate how the writer has created these impressions
• support your opinions with quotations from the text. (20
F Imarks)
T
What does the writer want you to FEEL?
What does the writer want you to IMAGINE?
Read ‘Holiday Memory’
1. What part of the day do you think he prefers and why?
2. Where has juxtaposition/contrast been used?
3. Why do you think the writer has used this technique?
Recall!
What other
Holiday Memory – Dyl
an Thomas
structural
Dusk came down; or grew
from the calling docks and
up out of the sands and
the sea; or curled around
techniques can
the bloodily smoking sun us
brushed and ruffled sud
denly with a sea-brush of
all the spades and buckets
. The day was done, the
cold wind. We gathered toge
sands you remember?
and towels, empty hampers ther
bats and balls, and we wen and bottles, umbrellas,
4. Which other
t -oh, listen, Dad!- to the
seaside field. Fair in the dusk on the bald
Fairs were no good in the

day; then they were sho
hoopla girls were crimped ddy and tired; the voices
as elocutionists; no can of
nonball could shake the
language/structural
coconuts; the gondolas roosting
mechanically repeated thei
was safe as a baby’s pram r sober lurch; the Wall of
; the wooden animals wer Death
e waiting for the night.
But in the night, the hoo
pla girls, like operatic crow
whizz, whirl, and ten for s, croaked at the coming
a tanner, the coconuts rain moon;
techniques has he
grouse from the Highlan ed from their sawdust like
d sky; tipsy the griffon-p
and the Wall of Death was row ed gondolas weaved on
a spinning rim of ruin, and dizzy rails,
horses took, to a hauntin the neighing wooden
g hunting tune, a thousan
and breezily as hooved d Beecher's Brooks as eas
swallows. ily
employed?
How to approach Q4
You need to think of QUESTION 4 as a treasure hunt.
The question has given you a statement and you need to think about how far you agree. You then
need to find evidence for your thoughts in the text, using all of your reading skills. Inference and
language and structure analysis will all help you here.
You MAY find it easier to agree. HOWEVER, there might be times when it is also appropriate to
disagree with part of the question.
Read down the text and highlight everything that proves the statement correct in one colour, and
everything that disproves the statement in another. Explain your choices as annotations.
The writer vividly It is as if you are there
conveys day changing
into night
QUOTES TECHNIQUES QUOTES TECHNIQUES
Remember, this is a 20 mark question. This
means that this question alone is worth 25%
of your paper. said…
The key skill fo

r Question 4 is
evaluation, bo
th of the ideas
Evaluation source in relati
statement, and
in the
on to the given
also the method
by the writer to s used
convey these id Recall!
However, the b eas.
iggest error ma Where have you
To judge or determine the significance, worth, or quality of; students was th dused
e byevaluation
at many of the skills before?
assess. failed to addre m
ss methods; th
with the ‘what’ ey dealt
but not the ‘ho
In other words, you are evaluating the which limited h w’,
ow far they cou
move into a giv ld
significance of your evidence. HOW does the en level.
evidence help describe fair as being better at
night?
Mixed
emotions In part
Somewhat
Centre ground Divided
Slightly
Assorted To a certain extent
Fairly
Conflicted
Partially To an extent Moderately
disagree Increasingly Partially agree Not wholly
Considerably To an increasing extent
Substantially
Noticeably Definitely
Markedly Unreservedly
Absolutely
In conflict with
Counter Categorically
Clash Wholeheartedly
Object to Categorically
Struggle to Candidly
understand Unequivocally
Applaud
Essentially
Radically
Fundamentally Fundamentally
disagree AGREEOMETER Use the word bank to improve your evaluation (AO4) agree
responses and show engagement with the ideas.
Q4 Example Annotate the quotes
How much can you say
about them?
Day time: ‘the voices of hoopla girls were crimped as elocutionists’
Pick 2 more quotes and
Night time: ‘like operatic crows, croaked at the coming moon’ write a response.
Is this example simple,

To a large extent, I agree with the student. some, clear or perceptive?
The writer effectively uses juxtaposition to show how the fair changes from day to night time when
describing the hoopla girls. In the day he uses a simile to describe how their voices were ‘crimped as
elocutionists’. ‘Crimped’ is an effective word because it suggests their voices do not have a very
powerful effect on the people at the fair. By likening them to elocutionists the writer is showing how their
voices seem forced and unnatural like they are not really enjoying themselves. The writer later contrasts
this with the phrase ‘like operatic crows, croaked at the coming moon’ to describe their voices at night
time. The adjective ‘operatic’ makes them seem loud, tuneful and professional like opera singers. ‘Crows’
is also a much more interesting simile as it suggests they were acting spontaneously and with more
movement. Although ‘croaked’ is a slightly negative verb to use it helps the reader understand how it
felt to be in the dark atmosphere of the fair. The alliteration of ‘crows, croaked’ further helps emphasise
this.
Focus this part of your answer on the second half of the source, from line 11 FIT
to the end. What do you FEEL?
What do you IMAGINE?
A student, having read this section of the text said: “The writer vividly conveys What do you THINK?
how the fair changes from day to night. It is as if you are there with the narrator.”
To what extent do you agree? Useful Sentence Starters

 I agree to a large extent that…. because
In your response, you should: The author’s use of X makes it seem Y
because…
• write about your own impressions of the fair I believe that…
• evaluate how the writer has created these impressions The writer makes it seem X by using…
• support your opinions with quotations from the text. (20
Themarks)
use of X emphasises…
Write about: The writer’s use of X creates the
Tentative Language Description Use of atmosphere/mood of…
Perhaps this would make the reader Perhaps/arguably, the most convincing
sound Narrative evidence could be…
think…
Perspective Shift …this supports the idea that… because…
Maybe …
This could create an image of…
/contrast Developmen This combination of … has the effect of…
Might t of description The This is reinforced by…
Alternatively building of
setting/atmosphere
Peer Assess
SIMPLE/LIMITED (L1)
Simple evaluative statement (L1)
Limited method (L1)
Simple references (L1)
Simple response to statement (L1)
SOME/ATTEMPTS (L2)
Some evaluative comment (L2)
Some method (L2)
Some appropriate references (L2)
Some response to statement (L2)
Your answer here
CLEAR/RELEVANT (L3)
Clearly evaluates effect on reader (L3)
Clear understanding of method (L3)
Range of references (L3)
Clear and relevant response to statement (L3)
PERCEPTIVE/JUDICIOUS (L4)
Critically evaluates the effect on the reader (L4)
Perceptive understanding of method (L4)
Judicious range of references (L4)
Convincing and critical response to statement (L4)
Week 3
HMWK:
Extract: Fair Image - print
Watch the video: next slide
atch?v=L1ZEBeVdh8U
Lesson 9&10
in the booklet.
Q5 Writing
Week 3 Extracts: Focus on Q4 and 5 – Motif P/TEARL
1984 highest mark Qs! Juxtaposition (point/techniques,
Recap of expectations, AOs Antithesis evidence,
and timing. Cyclical structure analysis, reader,
Anaphora link)
Focus on developing writing Anadiplosis
skills using slow writing and Syntax SAMOSAPA
exploring various structures.
LO: To use slow writing to develop and craft sentence structure.
Write a description of the fair:
Recall!
What are the
features of good
descriptive
writing?
Q5 - Slow Writing
We are going to write a response, one sentence at a time
follow the rules!
1 Tri-colon:
Say something about the fair, then use a : to start your list. List three different
aspects of the fairground divided up by ;
E.g. The fair is a myriad of colours: dazzling lights flash and flicker; rides
accelerate, hurtling through the air; rich scents waft through the air.
Vibrant, piercing, powerful, the light’s bright glare enlightened the entire
room like a plague. A plague on hunt for its next victim.
Q5 - Slow Writing
1 Tri-colon: Say something about the fair, then use a : to start your list. List three
different aspects of the fairground divided up by ;
2A Sentence: Choose adjectives to describe the rides and two to describe the lights.
E.g. Colossal, gyrating rides with vibrant, pulsating lights tower over the excited visitors.
3 Simile: Include a simile to compare a ride to something. A roller coaster spirals and
coils, which makes it look like an elongated snake twisting through the fair.
4 Ed Sentence: Choose 3 ed verbs to show how people feel about their actions.
Excited, thrilled, delighted children race to join the spectacular rides.
5 Inside (outside): Show how some one feels by describe how they behave on the
outside and using brackets to show their real inner feelings. A lone girl waits by the big
wheel smiling and tapping her feet (inside she is petrified of the dizzying heights).
6 Some: others - Use this sentences to show two different types of ride or stall or even
feelings. Use a ; instead of the conjunction “but”. Some stalls sell hamburgers oozing
with burnt onions; others sell sweet treats of steaming coffee.
7 Description: detail: Describe one of the rides use a colon instead of and, then add a
detail to prove the description. The roller coaster is wild and rapid: it is the biggest and
most famous in England.
8 Repeated adjective: Emphasis an adjective but repeating it and give a reason for the
feeling using because. The riders are exhilarated, exhilarated because they are zooming
rapidly along the tracks.
9 The more… : Use this type of sentence to make a link between two events – The
more the ride spins, the more the children scream.
10 Noun zoom: Drop extra information about a ride into a sentence using which and the
phrase you want to add. The Waltzer, which is sparkling with luminous pink lights, whirls
and revolves uncontrollably
Paper 1 Question 5: Creative Writing Practice
Write a description of a place that changes from day to night.
Try to use the following:
Sounds: onomatopoeia, alliteration, assonance, sibilance

Juxtaposition/contrast
Powerful words: verbs, adjectives, adverbs,
Imagery: similes, metaphors personification
Sentences: simple, compound, complex
Structure: perspective, tense, focus, development, speech, paragraphs, repetition
Here are some ideas to get you started:

3. One line paragraph – impactful. Add change of focus. Flashback.
2. Beginning, Middle and End (describe a journey)
3. Look at the image from different perspectives
4. Zoom in on a specific detail / zoom out (wider perspective)
5. Show not tell
When describing the picture the students who did best imagined themselves as part of the picture; often using the
image as a starting point.
Best responses had compelling opening and endings.
Strongest candidates had used minimal dialogue focusing instead on the detail and description of the scene setting.
The use of time?
Auditory imagery
fact tone
Contrast
Extract: 1984 – print next
slide
Lesson 11
Q4
LO: To consolidate your understanding for LP1 Q4 and to be able to answer the question.
Focus this part of your answer on the second half of the source, from line 28 to the end.
A student, having read this section of the text said: “The writer skilfully conveys the bleakness of the flat and the street outside.” To what extent do you agree?
In your response, you should:

• write about your own impressions of the street
• support your opinions with quotations from the text.
1984, by George Orwell (Part 1, Chapter 1)
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Winston Smith, his chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind, slipped quickly
through the glass doors of Victory Mansions, though not quickly enough to prevent a swirl of gritty dust from entering along with him.
The hallway smelt of boiled cabbage and old rag mats. At one end of it a coloured poster, too large for indoor display, had been tacked to the wall. It depicted simply an
enormous face, more than a metre wide: the face of a man of about forty-five, with a heavy black moustache and ruggedly handsome features. Winston made for the stairs.
It was no use trying the lift. Even at the best of times it was seldom working, and at present the electric current was cut off during daylight hours. It was part of the economy
drive in preparation for Hate Week. The flat was seven flights up, and Winston, who was thirty-nine and had a varicose ulcer above his right ankle, went slowly, resting
several times on the way. On each landing, opposite the lift-shaft, the poster with the enormous face gazed from the wall. It was one of those pictures which are so contrived
that the eyes follow you about when you move. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU, the caption beneath it ran.
Inside the flat a fruity voice was reading out a list of figures which had something to do with the production of pig-iron. The voice came from an oblong metal plaque like a
dulled mirror which formed part of the surface of the right-hand wall. Winston turned a switch and the voice sank somewhat, though the words were still distinguishable. The
instrument (the telescreen, it was called) could be dimmed, but there was no way of shutting it off completely. He moved over to the window: a smallish, frail figure, the
meagreness of his body merely emphasized by the blue overalls which were the uniform of the party. His hair was very fair, his face naturally sanguine, his skin roughened
by coarse soap and blunt razor blades and the cold of the winter that had just ended.
Outside, even through the shut window-pane, the world looked cold. Down in the street little eddies of wind were whirling dust and torn paper into spirals, and though the sun
was shining and the sky a harsh blue, there seemed to be no colour in anything, except the posters that were plastered everywhere. The blackmoustachio'd face gazed
down from every commanding corner. There was one on the house-front immediately opposite. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU, the caption said, while the dark eyes
looked deep into Winston's own. Down at streetlevel another poster, torn at one corner, flapped fitfully in the wind, alternately covering and uncovering the single word
INGSOC. In the far distance a helicopter skimmed down between the roofs, hovered for an instant like a bluebottle, and darted away again with a curving flight. It was the
police patrol, snooping into people's windows. The patrols did not matter, however. Only the Thought Police mattered.
20 Marks
25 Minutes
Highlight the key words in the question: what are you agreeing with?
Focus this part of your answer on the second half of the source, from line 20 to the end.
A student, having read this section of the text said: “The writer skilfully conveys the Recall!
bleakness of the flat and the street outside.” How do you
approach this
To what extent do you agree? question?
In your response, you should:

• write about your own impressions of the street
• support your opinions with quotations from the text.
I agree with this statement to a large extent. Firstly…
Impressions of the Flat and

Technique and effect
Street
“The instrument (the telescreen, it was called)
could be dimmed, but there was no way of
shutting it off completely.”
“little eddies of wind were whirling dust and torn

paper into spirals”
“even through the shut window-pane, the world

looked cold”
“there seemed to be no colour in anything”
“The blackmoustachio'd face gazed down from

every commanding corner.”
“Down at street level another poster, torn at one

corner, flapped fitfully in the wind”
“In the far distance a helicopter skimmed down

between the roofs, hovered for an instant like a
bluebottle”
FIT
I agree with this statement What does the writer want you to FEEL?
because… What does the writer want you to
IMAGINE?
Idea 1: Focuses on details inside the

flat. be dimmed, but there was no way of shutting it off
• “The instrument (the telescreen, it was called) could
completely.” – Constant noise and interruption from the “instrument” – makes it seem sinister.
• “coarse soap and blunt razor blades” – nothing of any comfort in his flat which makes his life difficult.
Idea 2: Focuses on things immediately outside the flat
• “little eddies of wind were whirling dust and torn paper into spirals” – pathetic fallacy the wind seems
to mirror Winston’s misery
• “there seemed to be no colour in anything” – suggests a bleak, dull and depressing life.
Idea 3: Focuses on things in the far distance
“In the far distance a helicopter skimmed down between the roofs, hovered for an instant like a
bluebottle” extract ends with the reader and Winston focusing on the police in the distance suggesting
that he feels under threat. Creates a clear picture – makes the police seem like an annoying intrusion in
his life.
Now write: Have a go at one of your points?
What is it that makes you agree/disagree? How? Method?> Why?
FIT Things you could write

Useful Sentence Starters
What does the writer want you to FEEL?  I agree to a large extent that….
What does the writer want you to about because
IMAGINE? The author’s use of X makes it seem Y
What does the writer want you to THINK? Description because…
I believe that…
Use of sound The writer makes it seem X by using…
Narrative Perspective The use of X emphasises…
Shift /contrast The writer’s use of X creates the
Tentative Language Development of
atmosphere/mood of…
Perhaps this would make the reader Perhaps/arguably, the most
think…
description convincing evidence could be…
Maybe … The building of …this supports the idea that…
This could create an image of… setting/atmosphere because…
Might Use of time This combination of … has the effect
Alternatively of…
This is re enforced by…
Peer Assess
SIMPLE/LIMITED (L1)
Limited method (L1)
SOME/ATTEMPTS (L2)
Some method (L2)
Your answer here
CLEAR/RELEVANT (L3)
Extract: Bull image, print
Lesson 12
structure strips if necessary
Q5 Writing
Bull
LO: To develop use of structural features in creative writing.
Panoramic –
Describe the scene, broadly. Introduce the time and atmosphere.
Sentence Starters:
The bull showed no sign of stopping as it charged…
Everyone clustered around…
The sun beat down on….
Literary Techniques:
Personify the weather
Use alliteration to describe the people
Use the sense of sound to highlight the noise
Ambitious Vocabulary:
·Cacophony, Swarming, Scorching
Zoom –
Focus your lens in on one segment of the image – the bull.
Sentence Starters:
With a fierce look of determination, the bull…
The floral garlands…
Staring forwards…
Describe the bull using a simile
Describe the colour of the garlands without saying ‘red’
Use a triple
·Piercing stare, Intent upon, Dappled
Single Line –
Emphasise the key feeling of the description on one line.
BE DRAMATIC!
Shift –
Focus your lens in on another segment of the image – the people.
Sentence Starters:
Surrounded by…
Choking on the dust from the bull’s hooves…
Reaching out to touch…
Include hyperbole to show the chaos
Create a list (choose whether it is syndetic or asyndetic)
Use interesting verbs
·Propelled, Claustrophobic, Horde
Panoramic –
Zoom back out onto the picture as a whole
Sentence Starters:
Even with this chaos, …
The bare feet of the men…
Hurtling through the crowd…
Use the senses
Repeat one of your images from earlier in your writing
Try to include some assonance
·Unrelenting, Sweltering, Insufferable
WRITING TO DESCRIBE
LQ: How can I improve the structure of
my descriptive writing?
What does the exam board (AQA) say?
“Unfortunately, there was also considerable evidence of a
lack of planning. Occasionally, spider diagrams were used,
which […] do not help with organization or cohesion…”
“A lack of planning also resulted in unnecessarily lengthy

responses […]. Many students would have benefitted from a
quality rather than quantity approach: take time to plan, and
then craft a shaped and structured response…”
Question 3 will help you with this…
How do authors structure novels in order to engage readers?
1. Action from the start
2. A slow build up of action
3. Hinting ( foreshadowing) something negative to come Recall!
4. Archetypal Characters – “goodies” “baddies”…heroes and villains What structural
techniques can
5. Short declarative opening sentences: you remember?
She was dead.

It was 7 minutes past midnight.
6. Setting in order to familiarise and connect to readers…to create a intended mood/atmosphere
7. Universal themes: peace, betrayal, death…
8. The list is endless…
Lang paper 1, Section B – Q5
• Question 5 is worth 50% of Language paper 1
• It is worth of 25% of your entire GCSE Language
• You only have 45 minutes to plan, write and proof-read
your response
• You are marked on two areas:
• content and organisation = 24 marks
• Technical accuracy = 16 marks
What do the AO’s want?
This is what we will be

focussing upon today
Sea of yellow
Stick in and Mind map your ideas
Try to include:
• Ambitious vocabulary
• Senses
• Language techniques
scratchy sand
Structure strips
You have been given structure strips – you must follow
the guidance on your structure strip and not move
onto the next section.
Think about every word that you are writing – maybe

write in pencil so you can correct mistakes.
Panoramic
Describe the scene, broadly.
Introduce the time and
atmosphere.
You must also include:
• a range of linguistic devices
• a range of punctuation
• ambitious vocabulary
Cacophony – A harsh mixture of loud sounds

Swarming – Moving in large numbers
Scorching – Very hot
10 minutes
30 seconds to read and steal
There was yellow everywhere. The yellow sun beat
ferociously above the scene, scorching everything it
touched. It didn't feel like being pleasant today. Today
it would be brutal. Yellow drops of sweat rolled down
the men's faces, backs and legs. Scratchy yellow sand
filled their sandals and irritated their feet. Their faded
yellow T shirts clung to their bodies limply. Everything
was hot - but still. And then it came.
Feedback - WAGOLL
The scorching hot, glowing sun beat down boldly upon
the gaggle of people. A bright sea of yellow, swarming
menacingly towards the young bull. Gradually, smoke
fills the air, dancing rhythmically until it is all that can
be seen. A cacophony of sounds. Shouting, laughter and
screaming. Everyone beamed with excitement.
Zoom
Focus your descriptive lens on
one specific section of the
image – the bull.
Piercing stare – Looking intensely

Intent upon – Focused on/Determined to
Dappled – Marked with spots of colour
5 minutes
30 seconds to read and steal
The bull charged into the crowd, sending sand shooting
everywhere like there had been an explosion. The intent stare
of his black, beady eyes gave away his intention - to escape.
Around his muscular neck hung a string of silly pink flowers,
trying to mock him. But he took no notice. Dangerous spiky
horns stood proudly on his head, daring any of the men to try
and grab him. The beast snorted in determination. He gave the
horde of people a piercing stare. He would beat this crowd.
Feedback - WAGOLL
Mayhem and chaos engulfed the bull as its tumultuous thuds
hammered away from the spectators. Its piercing black,
doleful marbles squinted in the blinding rays that were
diligently trying to obstruct its view.
Freedom. An undesired chain of shame hung heavily on its

neck in the form of a pale pink petals. The necklace,
outstretched onto its threatening horns, which up until this
point were its most dreaded accomplice.
Single Line
Emphasise the key feeling
in one line.
BE DRAMATIC!
He would not be like the others.

2 minutes
Feedback - WAGOLL
Roaring, the ocean of black and yellow rushed towards
it. The scorching hot sand beneath their bare feet was
kicked around innocently. Determined. The ferocious
beast made its way through the swarm. Dappled with
red and yellow flowers, the bull was triumphant.
The trampled, lifeless body lay there.

Shift
Focus your descriptive lens on
another section of the image –
the people.
Open with a verb/adverb

Propelled– Pushed forwards 1 word sentence
Claustrophobic– Confined space Repetition
Horde – Large group of people
Feedback - WAGOLL
One man tried desperately to grab him. Heart racing,
he plunged forward, desperately trying to place a
slippery hand on the animal's horn. But he missed; he
had timed it wrong. The manic sand jumped down his
throat and into his eyes and nose and ears. The man
coughed and spluttered and choked and retched. The
beast had beaten him.
Panoramic
Zoom back out to your picture
as a whole.

Unrelenting– Unending
Sweltering– Uncomfortably hot
Insufferable – Unbearable
5 minutes
Feedback - WAGOLL
Another man was determined to attempt the task. This man was angry. He
wanted to win. Deep lines of concentration were engraved into his forehead as
the bull propelled itself towards him. He was ready. Teeth clenched, he threw his
body in front of the charging bull, determined to grab the garland from
the treacherous horns. But the animal's speed was too great, and the man fell.
His chin smashed heavily onto the ground, and as if to symbolise his failure,
thick red droplets of blood began to ooze from it. The beast had beaten him.
And then it was gone. The sun stared down even harder at them, punishing them
for their failure. The would-be-stunned-silence was filled with groans and coughs
and splutters, which then gave way to pushes and shouts and yells. Anger raced
through each of their hearts. They had failed. The beast had beaten them.
HMWK: Exam Focus: All Questions
Extract: Print Friend
Watch the video: request extract and ques on
https://www.youtube.com/w next slide or in folder
Week 4
atch?v=Aul3_8iw2wM

in the booklet.
Lesson 13-16
WTM Friend Request
LO: To be able to plan, write and answer LP1 questions under timed conditions.
Language Techniques
1. What is a pun?
2. What is ambiguity?
3. What is anaphora?
4. What is a zoomorphism?
5. What is a symbolism?
Language Techniques
1. A joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are
words which sound alike but have different meanings.
2. the quality of being open to more than one interpretation; inexactness.
3. the use of a word referring back to a word used earlier in a text or conversation, to
avoid repetition, for example the pronouns he, she, it, and they and the verb do in I
like it and so do they.
4. a literary technique in which animal attributes are imposed upon non-animal objects,
humans, and events.
5. The use of symbols to represent ideas or qualities.
English Language Paper 1
‘Friend Request’
Question 1
Read the source from lines 1-4.
List 4 things you learn about the courtyard garden.
1 _____________________________________________________________________
2 _____________________________________________________________________
3 _____________________________________________________________________
4 _____________________________________________________________________
[4 marks]
Question 2
Look in detail at this extract taken from lines 1-8 of the source:
How does the writer use language to describe the setting?

You could include the writer’s choice of:
· words and phrases
· language features and techniques
· sentence forms
[8 marks]
Question 3
You now need to think about the whole of the Source.
How is the text structured to interest you as a reader?
You could write about:

· what the writer focuses your attention on at the beginning
· how and why the writer changes this focus as the Source develops
· any other structural features that interest you.
[8 marks]
Question 4
Focus this part of your answer on the second half of the Source from line 9 to the end.
A student said: ‘The narrator is clearly on edge here; she’s hiding something from the reader.’
In your response, you could:

Consider your own impressions of the narrator
Evaluate how the writer presents her as on edge and deceptive
Support your response with references to the text.
[20 marks]
Question 1
Answers may include:
• It is small and compact.
• It is dilapidated.
• It is neglected or ignored.
• There are broken plant pots.
• There are dead plants.
Read the source from lines 1-4. • The paving stones are slippy.
List 4 things you learn about the courtyard garden.
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
4. _____________________________________ [4 marks]
Firstly, read it through and think about what the
Question 2 BIG IDEA is? Then, think about FIT?
Remember:
• 3-4 keys
words/phrased
• Methods
• Effect of the
word
• A lot about a
little
BIG IDEA - The power and devastation of the bombs

Wants the reader to FEEL immense sadness and shock
Wants the reader to be able to IMAGINE the dead
Wants the reader to THINK that war is a waste/futile
10 mins No talking
Things you could write about
Collection of verbs  The language builds to create a
Series of adjectives / superlatives sense of…
A collection of metaphors /extended metaphor  This idea is repeated
Vivid description throughout…
Semantic field  The writer employs…
Alliterative phrasing  This indicates…
Emotive Language  This connotes…
Personification  This illustrates…

Sentence forms  This signifies…
Any more that you may spot…  This evokes a sense/feeling of…
Remember to quote…  This evokes an image of…
Remember to explain the effects of the language
How did you do?
What else could you have explored?
Level 4- - Semantic field of decay through dark colours symbolic of death: adjectives ‘brown’, ‘grey’
Perceptive and ‘darkening’. These juxtapose how a garden / courtyard should be: bright and
colourful - a symbol of life / growth as opposed to death.
- Link with the simile or adjectives ‘bleak’ and ‘dull’ for sense of foreboding and an
ominous atmosphere.
Level 3 - - Simile ‘like malevolent giants’ connotes oppression and implies that the narrator feels
Clear restricted and confined in her own back yard.
- Link with adjective ‘tiny’ or adjectives ‘bleak’ and ‘dull’ which create a negative, ominous
atmosphere: sense of foreboding.
Level 2 - - Adjectives ‘bleak and ‘dull’ both have negative connotations implying that the setting isn’t
Some a positive or comfortable place to be.
- ‘Adjective ‘tiny’ implies it is cramped and claustrophobic.
Level 1 - - ‘bleak’ suggests the setting is dark – it is not a nice place to be in.
Simple
What is the journey
of the extract?
Are there any key-

points where things
dramatically
change?
How is structure used by the writer to make the reader have different reactions and feelings
at different points of the extract?
What choices has the writer made? And what is the intended effect? Annotate the extract.
QUESTION 3: Feedback – What structural features did you find?
The Main Focus: Ominous atmosphere / Sense of foreboding.

• Beginning – Introduction to a dilapidated and oppressive setting. This establishes a
negative atmosphere which is reinforced by the writer’s shift of focus from the
external setting to the narrator’s internal thought process.
• Middle – Shift of focus from outside to inside: the setting is more favourable - warmer
and more colourful which creates a contrast with the setting outside. However, the
sense of foreboding is extended through ‘uncomfortably so’ and the narrator’s need
for air.
• End – Source of the foreboding is revealed through the cliff hanger. However, paralipsis
still in use. We understand / realise what the narrator hasn’t been telling us but we still
have questions – did she have something to do with it? Relate back to the questions
she was asking herself in the beginning: ‘What would it take to tear it all down?’
Foreboding fulfilled and extended.
Now write it up:
Useful sentence starters

Dialogue At the beginning of the extract the writer immediately
focuses the readers attention on…
Character The readers focus then shifts to … which forces the us
Introduction/interaction to think/feel…
As the extract progresses so does the...
Shift in setting / contrast in The first/second/third person narrative creates a
setting sense of…
The use of past/present tense allows the writer to…
Development of description The use of direct speech helps us to understand…
The rising action/catalyst/climax of the extract is
The building of when…
setting/atmosphere This ending encourages/forces the reader to…
Contrast in character
actions/feelings and description
of the atmosphere
How did you do?
Level 4- Introduction to a dilapidated and oppressive setting. This establishes a negative atmosphere which is reinforced by
Perceptive the writer’s shift of focus from the external setting to the narrator’s internal thought process. Shift of focus from
outside to inside: the setting is more favourable - warmer and more colourful which creates a contrast with the
setting outside. However, the sense of foreboding is extended through ‘uncomfortably so’ and the narrator’s need
for air. Source of the foreboding is revealed through the cliff hanger. However, paralipsis still in use. We understand /
realise what the narrator hasn’t been telling us but we still have questions – did she have something to do with it?
Relate back to the questions she was asking herself in the beginning: ‘What would it take to tear it all down?’
Foreboding fulfilled and extended.
Level 3 - At the beginning of the text the writer introduces the setting and a sense of foreboding through the description of
Clear the sinister courtyard. The writer then creates a contrast when she shifts the focus from outside to inside to a
warmer more comforting setting. However, there is still a sense of foreboding as the narrator feels uncomfortable
and is clearly on edge. The writer ends the text with a cliff-hanger which leaves the reader questioning who Maria is
and what it is that the narrator knows. We now understand why she is so on edge and why the foreboding
atmosphere was created at the beginning.
Level 2 - At the beginning of the text the writer focuses on the setting outside to set a dark atmosphere. Then the writer
Some shifts the focus inside in the middle of the text to make the reader understand the narrator is one edge. Then at the
end of the text the writer uses a cliff-hanger to create suspense and tension.
Level 1 - At the beginning the writer focuses on the courtyard. In the middle the writer moves inside and then at the end the
Simple writer uses a cliff-hanger to leave the reader with questions.
20 marks
Question 4
Evaluation Question 20 -25 MINS
20 Marks – 25 mins
Focus this part of your answer on the second half of the Source from line 9 toThere
the end.are two parts to this
A student said: ‘The narrator is clearly on edge here; she’s hiding something from the reader.’
question? Did you break it
To what extent do you agree? down…
In your response, you could:
• Consider your own impressions of the narrator
• Evaluate how the writer presents her as on edge and deceptive
• Support your response with references to the text.
How effective is the writer in showing she is on edge?
How effective is the writer in she is hiding something?
Methods!
‘The narrator is clearly on edge here; she’s hiding something from the reader.’ To what extent do you
agree?
Plan a response – do you agree? Why? Quote? Method? Effect?
She’s hiding something from the reader:

Agree: ‘I can’t see her like that knowing her fate as I do.’ The narrator is relatively cryptic in her own thoughts suggesting
that the truth behind all this is the source of her anxiety and discomfort. Maybe she is unable to fully acknowledge the
truth herself (she can’t even bear to think it) let alone share it with the reader. We know very little about Maria and her
significance within the narrator’s life but her reluctance to reveal much about her implies that she is or was significant.
‘But I let her down…at the edge of my consciousness for all of my adult life.’ The narrator is haunted by the memory of
Maria and her ‘fate’. ‘Edge’ implies that the narrator has attempted to supress this memory. Coupled with the consistently
foreboding atmosphere, the reader can deduce that something terrible happened to Maria and the narrator either feels
or actually is responsible in some way. However, this is only hinted / foreshadowed and never explicitly divulged.
‘But Maria Weston has been dead for more than twenty-five years.’ Use of a cliff hanger offers some revelation with
regards to the narrator’s discomfort – she’s been sent a friend request by someone who died many years ago. However,
the reader is still unaware of the narrator’s part it in – she is far too anxious for something that may simply be a hoax. All
the small revelations offered by the narrator imply that she had something to do with Maria’s death; her reluctance to
divulge anything plainly, even in her own thoughts only feeds the reader’s suspicions. She’s hiding something and she is
most definitely guilty, one way or another.
Now Write! 20 mins Things you could write
about Useful Sentence Starters
Accumulation of language
Dialogue  I agree to a large extent that…. because
Collection of verbs Character The author’s use of X makes it seem Y
Series of adjectives / superlatives Introduction/interaction because…
Shift in setting / contrast in I believe that…
A collection of metaphors /extended
setting The writer makes it seem X by using…
metaphor Development of The use of X emphasises…
Vivid description description The writer’s use of X creates the
The building of atmosphere/mood of…
Semantic field setting/atmosphere
Perhaps/arguably, the most convincing
Alliterative phrasing Contrast in character evidence could be…
Emotive Language actions/feelings and
description of the …this supports the idea that… because…
Personification atmosphere
Sentence forms What is it that makes you agree/disagree?
Any more that you may spot… Why? Explain / evaluate / effect – seems like, creates, demonstrates, emphasises, perhaps,
maybe, could, might.
Remember to quote… How? Methods
Remember to explain the effects of the language

How did you do?
Level 4- - Verb ‘can’t’ connotes reluctance and inability possibly suggesting that the narrator feels a sense of guilt or sorrow
Perceptive when she sees Maria’s picture.
- Noun ‘fate’ has ominous connotations implying that something terrible happened to Maria and the narrator is fully
aware of it, possibly even involved. The use of ‘fate’ as opposed to something more explicit such as ‘death’ reinforces
the narrator’s inability either accept what happened to Maria or cope with the guilt she experiences due to the part
she played in it.
- The narrator’s own thoughts are vague and cryptic suggesting that she can’t even confess within the safety of her own
consciousness, let alone reveal the truth to the reader. Link with ‘I let her down’ and ‘at the edge of my consciousness’
– she has never forgotten Maria – relate to guilt and her struggle to think explicit thoughts. She’s holding back –
doesn’t want to admit it to herself.
Level 3 - - Verb ‘can’t’ connotes reluctance and inability possibly suggesting that the narrator feels a sense of guilt when she sees
Clear Maria’s picture.
- Noun ‘fate’ has ominous connotations implying that something terrible happened to Maria and the narrator is fully
aware of it. However, the narrator either won’t share this with the reader or can’t bring herself to due to the guilt she
feels.
Level 2 - - Verb ‘can’t’ suggests that she’s struggling to look at the picture of Maria because she knows what has happened to her
Some since the picture was taken.
- However, she doesn’t tell the reader why she can’t look at Maria or what her fate is, she deliberately keeps it to
herself.
Level 1 - - The narrator knows something about Maria’s fate but she won’t tell the reader.
Simple
Question 5
45 MINS
Question 5
Your teacher wants you to contribute to a collection of creative writing to be
published in the school magazine.
Either:
Write a description of a room as suggested by this image
Creative Writing
Good writing is good writing and will contain both narrative
elements and vivid description.
• What is an extended metaphor?
• Why should you consider including on in your
writing?
What extended metaphor will you include? What can you

What about a semantic field? steal from the
source??
Silence. A summer-night silence which lay for a thousand miles, which covered the earth like a white and shadowy sea. Faster, faster! She
went down the steps. Run! Only a little way,
she prayed. One hundred eight, nine, one hundred ten steps! The bottom! Now, run! Across the bridge! She told her legs what to do, her
arms, her body, her terror; she advised all parts of herself in this white and terrible moment, over the roaring creek waters, on the hollow,
thudding, swaying almost alive, resilient bridge planks she ran, followed by the wild
footsteps behind, behind.
He’s following. Don’t turn, don’t look! If you see him, you’ll not be able to move, you’ll be so frightened. Just run, run! She ran across the
bridge. Oh, God, God, please, please let me get up the hill! Now up the path, now between the hills, oh God, it’s dark, and everything so far
away. If I screamed now it wouldn’t help; I can’t scream anyway. Here’s the top of the path, here’s the street, oh, God, please let me be safe,
if I get home safe I’ll never go out alone; I was a fool, let me admit it, I was a fool, I didn’t know what terror was, but if you let me get home
from this I’ll never go without Helen or Francine again! Here’s the street. Across the street! She crossed the street and rushed up the
sidewalk. Oh God, the porch! My house!
Oh God, please give me time to get inside and lock the door and I’ll be safe! And there—silly thing to notice—why did she notice, instantly,
no time, no time—but there it was anyway, flashing by—there on the porch rail, the half-filled glass of lemonade she had abandoned a long
time, a year, half an evening ago! The lemonade glass sitting calmly, imperturbably
there on the rail . . . and . . .
What’s the extended metaphor? / Big idea?
She heard her clumsy feet on the porch and listened and felt her hands scrabbling and The writer uses the semantic field of what?
ripping at the lock with the key. She heard her heart. She heard her inner voice screaming. The key fit. Unlock the door, quick, quick! The
door opened. Now - inside! Slam it! She slammed the door. “Now lock it, bar it, lock it!” she gasped wretchedly. “Lock it, tight, tight!” The door
was locked and bolted tight. She listened to her heart again and the sound
of it diminishing into silence. Home! Oh God, safe at home! Safe, safe and safe at home! She slumped against the door. Safe, safe. Listen.
Not a sound. Safe, safe, oh thank God, safe at home. I’ll never go out at night again. I’ll stay home. I won’t go over that ravine again ever.
Safe, oh safe, safe home, so good, so good, safe! Safe inside, the door locked. Wait. Look out the window. She looked. Why, there’s no one
there at all!
Nobody. There was nobody following me at all. Nobody running after me. She got her
breath and almost laughed at herself. It stands to reason. If a man had been following me, he’d have caught me! I’m not a fast runner. . . .
There’s no-one on the porch or in the yard. How silly of me. I wasn’t running from anything. That ravine’s as safe as anyplace. Just the
same, it’s nice to be home. Home’s the really good warm place, the only place to be.
3. Look at the image from different perspectives Narrative Writing Plan
perspective)
5. Show not tell
When describing the picture the students who did

best imagined themselves as part of the picture;
often using the image as a starting point.
Best responses had compelling opening and

endings.
Strongest candidates had used minimal dialogue

focusing instead on the detail and description of
the scene setting.
3. One line paragraph – impactful. Add change of focus. Flashback.
Extract: TKAMB extract
Watch the video: and ques on next slide or in
https://www.youtube.com/w folder
atch?v=1J2ZE32oIwA
Week 5
in the booklet.
Lesson 17-20
WTM TKAMB
Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
Language
Paper 1
To Kill a Mockingbird
LO: To be able to practice and apply the skills needed for Language Paper 1
Section A:
Question 1: List four things from a particular section of the text.
(4marks / 4-5mins)
Question 2: How does the writer use language to… (8marks / 8-10mins)
Question 3: How has the writer structured the text to… (8 marks / 8-
10mins)
Question 4: A statement, followed by – to what extent do you agree.
(20 marks / 20 mins)
Section B:
Question 5: Creative writing/narrative writing. (40 marks / 45mins)
We are going to read the extract taken from Harper

Lee’s 1960 novel, To Kill a Mockingbird.
As we are reading, highlight any language that you

feel creates suspense.
Be prepared to share!
Glossary:
Crook: where your arm bends. Nauseating: sickening.
Foliage: leaves/vegetation. Rigid: stiff/unbending.
Rabid: sick/diseased. Articulate: clear/fluent
Vehemently: strongly/violently.
Question 1: Read lines 1-5. List four things the narrator thought about mad
dogs.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Either paraphrase the answer OR use a direct quote!
Answers:
1. “I thought mad dogs foamed at the mouth.”
2. He thought they galloped.
3. Leaped and lunged at throats.
4. He thought that mad dogs did these things in the month of August.
Question 2: Read lines 41-55. How does the writer use language to create
suspense for the reader?
IMPORTANT NOTE: 8 marks – 2 ideas!
5 minutes – select quotations; identify the techniques; what are you going to
say about this quotation?
Possible quotations:
“He walked quickly” (l. 42)

“I thought he moved like an underwater swimmer” (l. 42)
“time slowed to a nauseating crawl” (l. 43)
“‘Sweet Jesus help him’” (l. 44)
“In the silence, I heard them crack” (l. 47)
metaphor: emphasises how the

Possible quotations:
fear and apprehension have
slowed down time. It builds the
suspense as it seems unnaturally
slow.
“time slowed to a nauseating crawl”
Adjective: stresses the fear that The fact that time was going so
the narrator was feeling at this slowly accentuates the danger
moment and the danger that and how nothing else mattered
Atticus is in at this moment. at that moment.
Put it all together!

Example:
The writer uses the semantic field of time to build the suspense in the
narrative by stressing the danger that Atticus is in as “time slowed to a
nauseating crawl”. The metaphor coupled with the adjective “nauseating”
emphasise the fear that the narrator is feeling to the point that it is making
them feel physically sick. The verb “crawl” also alludes to this idea that time is
going unnaturally slow, further building the suspense. The narrator continues
by noticing the “crack” form Atticus’ fallen glasses. The onomatopoeia
suggests that the impending fear has silenced the other characters as they
await to see what happens to Atticus.


CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (L3) Lets look at some of your answers.


LANGUAGE (L4)
Structure
THINK – PAIR – SHARE
What are structural devices?
Can you give examples?
Challenge: What should you focus on when

you are answering the structure question?
Structure
Structural features include:

• A change in time How the text
starts; what
• A change in setting happens in the
• A change in character middle; how
does it end?
• Speech
Wednesday 25th September
Question 3: Now you need to think about the whole source.
How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader?
IMPORTANT NOTE: 8 marks
Task:
What will you focus on at the start, in the middle and the end?
Start: The description of the dog – threatening; builds the fear and unknown.
Middle: introduction of dialogue via the children – builds the fear and tension;
innocence under threat.
End: Realisation that Atticus is well trained with a gun – leaves the children
with a new perspective of Atticus. They see him in a whole new light.
WHAT THE EXAMINER WILL SEE
SIMPLE AWARENESS OF STRUCTURE (L1)
SOME UNDERSTANDING OF STRUCTURE (L2)

Attempt to comment on the effect of structure (L2)
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF STRUCTURE (L3)

Clear explanation of the effects of structure (L3)

STRUCTURE (L4)
Question 4: Focus this part of your answer from lines 34 – 59. A student,
having read this part of the text said:
“This part of the story where the children are watching their father is
effective in making Atticus seem like a hero. The children are right to admire
him”
20 marks THINK: WHAT, HOW, WHY? Plan for 3 ideas

IMPORTANT NOTE: You can use ideas from question 2 as part of your answer
to this question.
You can also consider structural features.

I agree as the writer uses dialogue to create a sense of panic, “don’t
just stand there Heck!” This suggests that the sheriff is not dealing with
the situation. When Heck claims he “can’t shoot that well” the reader
will have the same fear that the characters sense, so when Atticus takes
over the writer has been effective in creating a hero.
Peer Assess
SIMPLE/LIMITED (L1)
Limited method (L1)
SOME/ATTEMPTS (L2)
Some method (L2)
Your answer here
CLEAR/RELEVANT (L3)
Responding to a statement
Independently:
Re-read lines 41-end.
Highlight where the writer

creates drama.
Challenge: Do you agree that this section of

the text is dramatic? If not, why?
What – How - Why
Example:
Lee opens the narrative with the introduction of the dog and the
description of how the narrator expected mad dogs to be “foamed at the
mouth” and to “leap and lunge at throats”. The vivid description, however, is
used to confirm that if the dog did behave in this way they would be “less
frightened”. By opposing the character’s expectations, Lee is emphasising the
vulnerable situation that the characters find themselves in; because the dog
isn’t acting as expected, the reader does not know how the characters are
going to respond to the impending danger. It therefore, creates fear because
of the unknown.
Question 4: Focus this part of your answer from lines 41-end of the extract. A
student, having read this part of the text said:
“The writer makes this moment of the story very dramatic.”
20 marks – 3/4 paragraphs. THINK: WHAT, HOW, WHY?
Disagree Where do you sit when it comes Agree

to this statement?
Challenge: What evidence have you found to support your argument?

PLAN: THINK: WHAT, HOW, WHY?
I agree with the student that the writer makes it dramatic at this moment…
WHAT: Calpurnia and the children’s reaction to Atticus stepping out into the
street.
HOW: ‘gun’, “‘Sweet Jesus help him’”, ‘murmured’, ‘put her hands to her
cheeks’, ‘nauseating crawl’.
WHY: Highlights the severity of the situation. The fact that an adult is
responding in this way emphasises that the children (representing youth and
innocence) are in danger. The pace is being slowed to build the drama and
the tension.
RESPOND: THINK: WHAT, HOW, WHY
I agree with the student that the writer makes it dramatic at this
moment through Calpurnia and the children’s reaction to Atticus stepping
out into the street. The realisation that Atticus is carrying a ‘gun’,
immediately builds the drama as the reader realises through the noun that
there is an impending danger. Calpurnia’s plea: “‘Sweet Jesus help him’”
further builds on the danger; the religious imagery accentuates her
desperation for Atticus to be safe whilst confronting the dog. The inclusion of
the verb ‘murmured’, as well as the verb phrase, ‘put her hands to her
cheeks’ also highlights her inability to assist Atticus; her responsibility
remains inside protecting the children. Finally, the fact that the narrator
describes time at this moment moving at a ‘nauseating crawl’ places the
children in danger. The fact that children represent youth and innocence only
enhances the overall drama as they are in great danger.
Extract: LoP print extract
Watch the video: and ques on next slide or in
https://www.youtube.com/w folder
atch?v=uM_0PshTEjs
Week 6
in the booklet.
Lesson 21-23
WTM Life of Pi
Source A
This extract is from a novel by Yann Martel. In this section the central character, Pi, is on a sinking ship. The ship is carrying the animals belonging to Pi’s
father, who owns a zoo.
Life of Pi
Inside the ship, there were noises. Deep structural groans. I stumbled and fell. No harm done. I got up. With the help of the handrails I went down the
stairwell four steps at a time. I had gone down just one level when I saw water. Lots of water. It was blocking my way. It was surging from below like a
riotous crowd, raging, frothing and boiling. Stairs vanished into watery darkness. I couldn't believe my eyes. What was this water doing here? Where had it
come from? I stood nailed to the spot, frightened and incredulous and ignorant of what I should do next. Down there was where my family was.
I ran up the stairs. I got to the main deck. The weather wasn't entertaining any more. I was very afraid. Now it was plain and obvious: the ship was listing
badly. And it wasn't level the other way either. There was a noticeable incline going from bow to stern. I looked overboard. The water didn't look to be
eighty feet away. The ship was sinking. My mind could hardly conceive it. It was as unbelievable as the moon catching fire.
Where were the officers and the crew? What were they doing? Towards the bow I saw some men running in the gloom. I thought I saw some animals too,
but I dismissed the sight as illusion crafted by rain and shadow. We had the hatch covers over their bay pulled open when the weather was good, but at all
times the animals were kept confined to their cages. These were dangerous wild animals we were transporting, not farm livestock. Above me, on the
bridge, I thought I heard some men shouting.
The ship shook and there was that sound, the monstrous metallic burp. What was it? Was it the collective scream of humans and animals protesting their
oncoming death? Was it the ship itself giving up the ghost? I fell over. I got to my feet. I looked overboard again. The sea was rising. The waves were getting
closer. We were sinking fast.
I clearly heard monkeys shrieking. Something was shaking the deck, a gaur - an Indian wild ox -exploded out of the rain and thundered by me, terrified, out
of control, berserk. I looked at it, dumbstruck and amazed. Who in God's name had let it out?
I ran for the stairs to the bridge. Up there was where the officers were, the only people on the ship who spoke English, the masters of our destiny here, the
ones who would right this wrong. They would explain everything. They would take care of my family and me. I climbed to the middle bridge. There was no
one on the starboard side. I ran to the port side. I saw three men, crew members. I fell. I got up. They were looking overboard. I shouted. They turned.
They looked at me and at each other. They spoke a few words. They came towards me quickly. I felt gratitude and relief welling up in me. I said, "Thank God
I've found you. What is happening? I am very scared. There is water at the bottom of the ship. I am worried about my family. I can't get to the level where
our cabins are. Is this normal? Do you think-"
One of the men interrupted me by thrusting a life jacket into my arms and shouting something in Chinese. I noticed an orange whistle dangling from the
life jacket. The men were nodding vigorously at me. When they took hold of me and lifted me in their strong arms, I thought nothing of it. I thought they
were helping me. I was so full of trust in them that I felt grateful as they carried me in the air. Only when they threw me overboard did I begin to have
5 mins
Q1. Read again the first part of the Source from lines 1 to 12.
List four things from this part of the text about the ship.
[4 marks]
Feedback – How did you do?
Q1. Read again the first part of the Source from lines 1 to 12. List four
things from this part of the text about the ship.
Answer:
1)There were noises and groans coming from the ship.
2) The ship was listing and sinking.
3) The ship had an incline from bow to stern.
4) The ship has a main deck.
Q2. Look in detail at this extract from lines 13 to 25 of the Source: 10 mins
Where were the officers and the crew? What were they doing? Towards the bow I saw some men running in the
gloom. I thought I saw some animals too, but I dismissed the sight as illusion crafted by rain and shadow. We had the
hatch covers over their bay pulled open when the weather was good, but at all times the animals were kept confined
P
to their cages. These were dangerous wild animals we were transporting, not farm livestock. Above me, on the bridge, I
thought I heard some men shouting.
The ship shook and there was that sound, the monstrous metallic burp. What was it? Was it the collective scream of
E
humans and animals protesting their oncoming death? Was it the ship itself giving up the ghost? I fell over. I got to my
feet. I looked overboard again. The sea was rising. The waves were getting closer. We were sinking fast. A
I clearly heard monkeys shrieking. Something was shaking the deck, A gaur-an Indian wild ox-exploded out of the rain
and thundered by me, terrified, out of control, berserk. I looked at it, dumbstruck and amazed. Who in God's name had
let it out?
R
L
How does the writer use language here to describe the narrator’s fright and confusion?
You could include the writer’s choice of: This suggests…
 words and phrases This implies…
 language features and techniques This reinforces
 sentence forms This indicates
[8 marks] This evokes a sense/feeling of…
This emphasises…
Remember to quote… Because
Remember to explain the effects of the language Also, and, in addition, another…
The writer uses several rhetorical questions to
highlight the narrator’s fright and confusion. The
Simple textual detail (L1) narrator asks: “What is it?” This reveals his
Simple use of subject terminology (L1) uncertainty and panic as he is unsure about what is
happening.
Additionally, the writer uses personification coupled
Some appropriate textual detail (L2) with onomatopoeia to create a frightening
Some use of subject terminology (L2) atmosphere. The ship lets out a “monstrous metallic
burp”. This effective use of personification and
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (L3)
onomatopoeia conveys the unnatural sounds the
Range of relevant textual detail (L3) ship is making which is frightening the narrator.
Clear/accurate use of subject terminology (L3) Finally, the violent verbs “shrieking” and “thundered”
are used to describe the panicked movements of the
LANGUAGE (L4)
animals. This reveals the narrator’s fright and
Analysis of the effects of language (L4) confusion. The animals are acting unnaturally,
Judicious textual detail (L4) highlighting the precarious position the narrator finds
Sophisticated use of subject terminology (L4) himself in.
10 mins
Q3. You now need to think about the whole of the Source.
This extract comes at the end of a chapter.

Things you could
How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader?
P write about
Start
E How
Attention
You could write about: Perspective
• what the writer focuses your attention on at the beginning
E End
Repetition
• how and why the writer changes this focus as the Source develops Shift
• any other structural features that interest you
[8 marks] Useful sentence starters
Stuck? Think beginning, middle, end. At the beginning of the extract the writer focuses our attention on…
How is the start similar/different to the The focus then shifts to … which could force the reader think/feel…
end? Is there a shift in tone anywhere? Is The first/second/third person narrative creates a sense of…
a character introduced? How? Is there
The use of direct speech helps us to understand…
long description or lots of dialogue? How The rising action/catalyst/climax of the extract is when…
does this effect the pace? This ending encourages/forces the reader to…
How did you do?
The narrator begins the passage by painting a scene of utter
SIMPLE AWARENESS OF STRUCTURE (L1)
chaos and pandemonium. The use of short, simple sentences
to describe the ship moving speeds up the pace of the text,
Simple use of subject terminology (L1) making us feel as if the sinking is happening rapidly. This is
shown in the quote: “No harm done. I got up.” These two
SOME UNDERSTANDING OF STRUCTURE (L2) simple sentences make us as readers immediately interested as
Attempt to comment on the effect of structure (L2) we feel tense and afraid of what will happen next.
The writer shifts from focusing our attention on the ship itself
at the opening, to describing the reaction of the animals on the
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF STRUCTURE (L3) ship in the middle of the passage. This shift is reflected in the
Clear explanation of the effects of structure (L3) use of complex sentences: “I thought I saw some animals too…
Range of relevant textual detail (L3) crafted by rain and shadow.” In contrast to the simple
Clear/accurate use of subject terminology (L3) sentences in the opening, this longer complex sentence slows
the pace of the writing down and paints a vivid and horrific
DETAILED AND PERCEPTIVE UNDERSTANDING OF picture of the animals screaming and escaping from their
STRUCTURE (L4)
cages. We as readers find this engaging as we wonder whether
Judicious textual detail (L4) there will be any salvation for the animals and the narrator, or
Sophisticated use of subject terminology (L4) whether we are witnessing a tragedy unfold.
25 mins
Q4. Focus this part of your answer on the second part of the Source from line 19 to the end.
A student, having read this section of the text, said: ‘The writer makes the reader feel
sympathetic for the narrator.’

PEARL
You must write about the
In your response, you could: writer’s methods!!
• write about your own impressions of the narrator
 I agree that…. because
• support your opinions with references to the text The author’s use of X makes it seem Y
[20 marks] because…
The writer makes it seem X by using…
The use of X emphasises…
The writer’s use of X creates the
atmosphere/mood of…
Perhaps/arguably, the most convincing
Remember to quote… evidence could be…
Do not ignore these! Remember to explain the effects of the …this supports the idea that…
language/structure because…
Peer Assess
SIMPLE/LIMITED (L1)
Limited method (L1)
SOME/ATTEMPTS (L2)
Some method (L2)
Your answer here
CLEAR/RELEVANT (L3)
Feedback –
Q4. Focus this part ofHow
your answerdid you
on the do?
second part of the Source from line 19 to the end. A student, having read
this section of the text, said: ‘The writer makes the reader feel sympathetic for the narrator.’ To what extent do you
agree?
The writer successfully makes the reader feel deeply sympathetic for the narrator. As we read and witness the events
unfold, we cannot help but feel sadness and pity for the narrator. This essay will examine how the writer successfully
makes us as readers feel sympathy for the narrator.
The use of the first person narrative makes me as a reader feel sympathetic for the narrator – as it brings me close to the
narrator and I feel as if I were in his shoes. Indeed the narrator says: “I looked at it… I ran…” The repetitive use of the first
person pronoun “I” brings the narrator to life – we as readers vividly feel as if we were on the ground with him. In fact,
we can sense his panic and fear as he deals with such a difficult predicament, hence making us as readers feel
sympathetic for the narrator.
Moreover the use of the hyperbole in the rhetorical question: “Who in God’s name had let it out?” makes us as readers
feel sympathetic for the narrator. This hyperbole conveys the narrator’s heightened sense of panic. Additionally the
rhetorical question is one of several questions he asks in this passage to no avail – he receives no answers and no clarity.
The narrator’s fate is unclear and we as readers wonder whether he will survive this ordeal, making us feel a deep sense
of worry for the narrator.
In addition, the writer uses a skilful blend of simple and complex sentences to create dramatic shifts in the pace of the
writing. Indeed the simple sentence: “They turned” contrasts with the complex sentence: “Only when they threw me…
did I begin to have doubts.” The constant shift from the fast paced nature of the shorter simple sentences, to the longer
complex sentences which slow down the passage’s pace, may reflect the unpredictable nature of the tossing and turning
of the ship at sea. This makes us as readers empathise with the narrator. We are thrown into the same unpredictability in
the flow of the writing and this creates empathy within us for the narrator.
In conclusion, I think the author successfully makes the readers feel sympathetic for the narrator. The writer’s range of
Section B: Writing
You are advised to spend about 45 minutes on this section.
Write in full sentences.
You are reminded of the need to plan your answer.
You should leave enough time to check your work at the end.
Q5. You are going to enter a creative writing competition.
Your entry will be judged by a panel of people of your own age.
Either: Write a description suggested by this picture:
(24 marks for content and organisation

16 marks for technical accuracy)
[40 marks]
Or: Write a story opening in which a dramatic event occurs.

Narrative writing tips from an examiner Descriptive writing tips
1. Real characters. Flesh them out a bit. Give them real anxieties and explore their
internal thoughts a little. 1. Write in paragraphs
2. Identifiable situations. Be they awkward, embarrassing, scary, happy. Keep it 3. Look at the image from different perspectives
real and everyday.
3. Don’t be tempted to raise the stakes too high. No terrorist attacks, car crashes perspective)
or random murders.
5. Show not tell
4. CONTROL. Plan it out carefully. Don’t waffle. Show the examiner you’re in
control of the pace of your story. When describing the picture the students who did best
5. Keep characters to a minimum. 1-2 max (including the narrator if it’s a imagined themselves as part of the picture; often
character's voice). Flesh them out. using the image as a starting point.
6. Limit your setting to 1-2 places max. Make it a character. Describe it. Think about
the feeling you want to communicate. Best responses had compelling opening and endings.
7. Limit your time frame. Stories that play out over 2-3 minutes are invariably
better than those that play Strongest candidates had used minimal dialogue
out over 2-3 days/weeks/years. focusing instead on the detail and description of the
scene setting.
8 Use dialogue sparingly and effectively. Avoid ‘’he/she said’’ after each utterance.
Good dialogue doesn’t need it.
Narrative Ingredients Descriptive Ingredients

1. Atmosphere/ setting/ pathetic fallacy/ time/ character 1. Atmosphere/ setting/ pathetic fallacy – (zoom out)
2. Develop character. Explore thoughts 2. Zoom in on specific aspect of image
3. Event/ situation/ problem– develop plot 3. One line paragraph – impactful. Add change of focus. Flashback.
4. Add change of focus. Flashback.
5. Return to beginning/ cliff hanger/ resolution to problem
6. Motif. 5. Return to beginning.
•
Cyclical plan:
Minimum of 5 Writing a plan •
Simple plan:
Minimum of 5
paragraphs Q5. You are going to enter a creative writing competition. paragraphs
• First and last • Sophisticated
paragraph must be Your entry will be judged by a panel of people of your own age. vocabulary
similar/the same – Either: Write a description suggested by this picture: • Beginning
Story ends where it • Middle
began? Story ends by • End
focusing on the same • Maximum of 3
thing the character characters
saw/did in the first • Pick key details you
paragraph? Story can see in the picture
ends full circle? and describe them in
detail
Zoom in/out plan
• Minimum of 5
Character plan
paragraphs • Minimum of 5
• 1 – Zoomed out: paragraphs
describe the whole • Invent 5 characters – 1
picture paragraph for each
• 2, 3, 4 – Zoom closer • Describe what that
and closer: describe character is doing
finer details within the setting of the
• 5 – Zoomed in: Focus
Or: Write a story opening in which a dramatic event occurs. image
on one particular detail • 6th paragraph – all the
SAMOSAPA characters meet?
The use of time?
Auditory imagery
fact tone
Contrast
Q5. You are going to enter a creative writing competition. Your entry will be judged by a panel of people of your own age. Write a
description suggested by the picture.
The morning sky smiled down on the town’s residents and the sun’s rays emitted a refreshing radiance - like a cold glass of lemonade
on a summer’s day. The town was small and scenic: rolling mountains and evergreen tall trees framed the edge of the town, which was
dotted with small, isolated homes – which held tiny families. Emerald green pastures stretched as far as the eye could see, and they
were watered with a small stream that ran through the mountains and past the homes. At the centre of the town ran a large road
leading to a petrol station, and cars drove to and from the station – filling up their tanks and heading on their way.
There was a sense of hope in the air: a sense of new beginnings and a new life. The birds chirped loudly - as clear as the stream that
wove its way through the grass and mud. This stream seemed to have a strong sense of direction: instead off flowing in a monotonous
manner, it seemed to oscillate and ripple. Pulling back and forth, the water looked as if it were trying to break apart. It weaved its way
down the mountains and wandered like a lost traveller through the fields of grass and hay.
All at once, the stream began to shake violently as the ground beneath rumbled and roared. The rumbling grew louder and louder as
hairline cracks began to appear in the ground. The tranquillity that had filled the morning was now damaged as the hairline cracks grew
and the ground appeared to begin yawning. The cars on the road began screeching and speeding away from the petrol station as
panicked residents scrambled away from the opening ground. Police sirens started screaming – yet and screams of panic emitted from
the homes as residents watched in horror as the ground up relentlessly.
Suddenly – to the horror of all – the ground opened beneath the petrol station and it appeared to pour the building like liquid into its
dark throat at the core of the earth. The road began to spill into the dark abyss of the earth – as it swallowed whatever stood in its way.
A dark plume of smoke rose from the pit as the crash of cars, buildings and petrol from the station mixed in a toxic cauldron inside the
earth and set alight. The wailing police siren continued it wail – but stuck on one side of the divide, the police officers in the car watched
helplessly as the ground continued relentlessly widening and nature asserted itself as the dominant force.
After a few terrifying seconds – the deafening rumble died down and the earth’s tremors decreased. The Armageddon was coming to
an end. Nature had claimed its victims and it was satiated – ready to settle and rest. As quiet descended upon the small town, the
plumes of smoke continued to rise from parts of the pit. The gaping hole in the ground stood one mile wide and it stretched across the
town for miles and miles. It zigzagged through the landscape of fields and grass, appearing like an ugly scar on what was once a beautiful
face.
Extract: Lovely Bones
Watch the video: print extract and ques on
https://www.youtube.com/w next slide or in folder
atch?v=3s6M6c-PV_I
Week 7
in the booklet.
Lesson 24-27
WTM Lovely Bones
5-7 MINS
Question 1
Read again the first part of the source from lines 1 to 9.
List four things about this jungle from this part of the source. [4 marks]
1.
2. My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when
3. I was murdered on December 6, 1973. In newspaper photos of missing
4. girls from the seventies, most looked like me: white girls with mousy brown
hair. This was before kids of all races and genders started appearing on
milk cartons or in the daily mail. It was still back when people believed
things like that didn't happen.
Q2 Read again lines 11 to 20. How does the writer use language here to describe Mr. Botte? 8 marks

• words and phrases
• language features and techniques
• sentence forms.
My favorite teacher was Mr. Botte, who taught biology and liked to animate the
frogs and crawfish we had to dissect by making them dance in their waxed pans.
I wasn’t killed by Mr. Botte, by the way. Don’t think every person you’re going to
meet in here is suspect. That’s the problem. You never know. Mr. Botte came to my
memorial (as, may I 15 add, did almost the entire junior high school — I was never
so popular) and cried quite a bit. He had a sick kid. We all knew this, so when he
laughed at his own jokes, which were rustyway before I had him, we laughed too,
forcing it sometimes just to make him happy. His daughter died a year and a half
after I did. She had leukemia, but I never saw her in myheaven. 20
Q2 Read again lines 11 to 20. How does the writer use language here to describe Mr. Botte? 8 marks

• words and phrases
• language features and techniques
• sentence forms.

Things you could write about
Collection of verbs
 The language builds to create a sense of…
Series of adjectives / superlatives
 This idea is repeated throughout…
A collection of metaphors /extended metaphor
 The writer employs…
Vivid description
 This indicates…
Semantic field
 This connotes…
Alliterative phrasing
 This illustrates…
Emotive Language
 This signifies…
Personification
 This evokes a sense/feeling of…
Sentence forms
 This evokes an image of…
What methods/key words did you
include?
Feedback – How did you do? Are you quotes embedded?
Did you write a lot about a little?
Is your answer simple, some, clear or

Primarily, the writer endears Mr Botte to the reader as the narrator describes him as her perceptive?
‘favourite teacher’. Initially, this leads the reader to trust the character of Botte as he is
trusted in the narrator’s perspective.
Interestingly, this is immediately juxtaposed with the macabre imagery of death, ‘to animate
frogs… by making them dance in their waxed pans.’ The writer uses the verbs ‘animate’ and
‘dance’ to suggest that Botte makes light of death. This may make the reader feel that Botte is
sinister or creepy. Alternatively, this could be viewed as a relatable image as the reader may
have experienced this with their own teachers, making him seem familiar to us. Is this a good
response?
Later in this section, the writer shows us Botte’s emotions as he attended Susie’s memorial
and ‘cried quite a bit’. Undoubtedly this portrays Botte as a sensitive and sympathetic
What could be
character suggesting to the reader his caring nature. Moreover, the reader feels pity and
pathos for Botte whose daughter is ‘sick’. Certainly, the image of him ‘laughing at his own
improved?
jokes’ typifies that he is quite a pathetic character, thus making the reader feel it is less likely
that he is the killer.
What structural devices can
you identify?
How does it open/shift/end?
Is there a dramatic turn of

events?
Which section is the most

interesting? WHY
Useful sentence starters
At the beginning of the extract the writer immediately focuses the Did you focus on the effect -
readers attention on… WHY it is interesting for the
The readers focus then shifts to … which forces the us to think/feel… reader? What does it make us
As the extract progresses so does the... think/feel/imagine/
The first/second/third person narrative creates a sense of… understand?
The use of direct speech helps us to understand… What choices has the writer
The rising action/catalyst/climax of the extract is when… made? WHY? EFFECT?
This ending encourages/forces the reader to…
Feedback – How did you do? What structural devices did you
include?
Did you write about the

At the beginning of the extract the writer undoubtedly focusses our attention on the narrator. “I was beginning/end?
fourteen when I was murdered”. Clearly, the exposition of who she is and when she died is designed to
pique our interest as a reader and leaves us questioning as to how and why she was killed and by whom.
Did you write about a shift or contrast?
The focus shifts to Susie’s relatable and ordinary school life, then to Mr Botte. The fulcrum of the extract
the writer not only rules out Botte as a suspect, but in the following paragraph tells the reader that the Did you focus on the effect - WHY it is
killer is her neighbour. “The murderer was a man from our neighbourhood.” The noun ‘murderer’ is slightly interesting for the reader? What does
anti-climatic as we, as a reader, are told what happens to the narrator. However, it still leaves the reader it make us
questioning how and why the writer has chosen to reveal such a crucial detail so early on within the novel. think/feel/imagine/understand?
Towards the end of the extract there is a change in tone from the mundane to the sinister as the narrator
recounts her encounter with Harvey on the day of her death, “ "Don't let me startle you," Mr. Harvey said.”
Dialogue is certainly used to create suspense for the reader and to expose Harvey’s calculated intentions,
“It’s after dark, Susie”. Is this a good
response?
Throughout the extract, Sebold uses a semantic field of death to serve as a reminder of the opening “But I
never saw her in my heaven”. The noun ‘heaven’ typifies the innocence of Susie and reinforces the idea
that she a good person and deserves to be in good place after death. What could be
improved?
Susie’s quotation for her year book could also foreshadow future events “If they give you ruled paper, write
the other way”. This certainly heightens the tension as it uses a plot twist to demonstrate unexpected
events.
Question 4 Focus this part of your answer from line 21 to the end of the extract. A student, having
read this extract, said: “I like the way the writer creates suspense.” To what extent do you agree?
In your answer, you should:
• Write about your own impressions of Mr. Harvey, the murderer

• Evaluate how the writer develops these impressions of him
• Support your opinions with quotations from the text
20 marks – 3/4 paragraphs. THINK: WHAT, HOW, WHY?
Disagree Where do you sit when it comes to this Agree

statement? Does the writer create suspense?
Task: Find 3 quotes used to create suspense.
Identify the method and key word/phrase in each!
Now write: 20 mins!
What is it that makes you agree/disagree? How? Method?> Why?
Explain / evaluate / effect – seems like, creates, demonstrates, emphasises, perhaps, maybe, could,
might.
Accumulation of language Things you could write Useful Sentence Starters

about
Collection of verbs
Series of adjectives / superlatives Dialogue  I agree to a large extent that…. because
The author’s use of X makes it seem Y
A collection of metaphors /extended Character because…
Introduction/interaction
metaphor I believe that…
Shift in setting / contrast in The writer makes it seem X by using…
Vivid description setting The use of X emphasises…
Semantic field Development of The writer’s use of X creates the
description atmosphere/mood of…
Alliterative phrasing
The building of Perhaps/arguably, the most convincing
Emotive Language setting/atmosphere evidence could be…
Personification Contrast in character …this supports the idea that… because…
actions/feelings and
Sentence forms description of the
atmosphere
Is this a good
Feedback – How did you do? response?
What could be
improved?
Similarly to the student, I like the way Alice Sebold clearly creates suspense as she subverts the usual structure of suspenseful writing.
In line 21, the writer anticlimactically expresses the murderer to the reader. “The murderer was a man from our neighbourhood”. The bluntness of tone and
matter of fact way the narrator communicates this to the reader may initially make the tension dissipate and it is from this point Sebold builds the tension back
up again.
Personally, the sensory imagery foreshadows the potential end that Susie meets “It would stink to high heaven” Cleverly, this allows me to imagine that after
murdering her, Mr Harvey disposes of her body in his compost which already smells of decay. This compels me to read on to discover if I am correct. The use of
pathetic fallacy is a more conventional method Sebold uses to build concern for the reader. The semantic field of ‘dark’, ‘winter’ and ‘snows’ allows the reader to
suppose that Suzie’s death is imminent and she is in the winter of her life. In my opinion the ‘snow’ is metaphorical for the mysteries of Suzie’s death which are
yet to be uncovered as a blanket of snow covers the ground.
The tension is built further as Suzie sense danger “I had never been comfortable with adults”. Sebold undoubtedly extends the imagery of gardening with a
metaphor, “rooted me to the spot”. Clearly this typifies how fearful and helpless Suzie is in this situation. Arguably, it could imply that she cannot leave, perhaps
suggesting this is the place where he killed her.
Furthermore, I enjoyed Sebold’s use of dialogue to heighten the chilling atmosphere, “I’ve built something back here…would you like to see?” Immediately, this
appeals to the reader’s sense of ‘stranger danger’. The use of vague language ‘something’ perpetuates the sense of foreboding I feel. Similarly, the sinister cliff-
hanger we are left with “I had never told him my name” leaves us with the horrible realisation that this crime was premeditated and still questioning as to why.
Overall, whilst some may feel that giving the killer away spoils the plot, I enjoy feeling able as a reader to evaluate his motives and methods without also
worrying ‘whodunit’ as is often the convention of this genre.
Q5 - Writing a plan
Q5. You are going to enter a creative writing competition.

Your entry will be judged by a panel of people of your own age. What can you steal
Either: Write a description suggested by this picture: from the source??
Structure of description or story
P1) Setting/ weather

P2) Girl – Introduce character 1
P3) Man – Introduce character 2
P4) Inside the room, outside the room
(A shift in the reader’s attention)
Or: Write a story opening in which a dramatic event occurs.

TASK: Spend 10 minutes planning what you are going to write about.
Remember to pretend you are looking
through the lens of a camera!
Zoom in
What are the

characters doing?
How might each

one be feeling?
• Zoom out – what can you see?

• Describe the scene
• What might your be able to hear?
Now: Write a response 45 mins
Focus on the big (zoom out) and then the small (zoom in).
WAGOLL:
Milky, white skin, pale like ivory, chalky and doll-like.

Flaring nostrils, wide and taut with shock. Her neck
wrapped firmly in a fleece of fur. Lips parted exposing
flickers of snowy teeth. Eyes wide and animal like,
staring sharply ahead.
Sentence starters
• Up above on earth…
• Sweating in every corner of the room… Success Criteria
• Quietly in the corner…  Use of extended Metaphor

 Inclusion of Semantic Field
• Lights flickered…  Change in setting
• Damp air engulfed…  Emotion through character introduction this could
contrast the atmosphere
• Reluctantly, she gazed downwards…  Engaging opening / Strong ending

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GCSE ENGLISH LANGUAGE – PAPER ONE

and complete Week 1 task

Red book please!

(your first name and

Dear Future Me, Recall!

• To understand what you will be learning this term.

• To understand the new GCSE.

• To begin to love English.

Paper 1 50% Paper 2 50%

Section A: Section B: Section A: Section B:

Total exam time: Total exam time:

You will have to read

SECTION A: 40 marks SECTION B:40 marks

English Language Paper 1 (fiction) - First Exam

80 marks: 40 for section A and 40 for section B.

Section A – reading – 4 questions - 45 minutes = 40 marks

Section B – writing either a story or description – 45 minutes = 40

Discuss on your table and prepare to share your ideas.

EXT: Come up with some SAMOSAPA techniques to describe the

How would you describe the emotion in the scene?

Ext: Which other senses might be affected? Explain

How is the person described below feeling?

Can you rewrite the phrases below, using my example?

Ext: Make these sentences more interesting.

You will have to read

SECTION A: 40 marks SECTION B:40 marks

1. Implicit suggested though not directly expressed.

circled spindly wild gangling

Golden rules! (Write these down)

2. Highlight the key words in the question

What-Is the writers How – INFERENCE + What is

Chaotic noise made by a group of

‘The terrible hubub of the auction ring’

What about this

Out of control Choose your own word from

‘The terrible hubub of the auction ring’

P – The writer shows the horse

E – This is shown in the line…

Stretch – write a second

1. What is a semantic field?

Syntax: the arrangement of words and phrases

Link to Last Lesson:

To prove that horses think like humans do.

To help the reader understand how the horse felt.

To show that horse’s can use good adjectives and verbs.

Can you find any emotive language in the War

What do you think is the most emotive phrase

You are going to watch a similar

Creative Writing Task:

Challenge: Include a semantic field or extended metaphor.

When describing the picture the students who did best

Best responses had compelling opening and endings.

Strongest candidates had used minimal dialogue focusing

Visually descriptive or figurative language

Which techniques below would most likely create imagery?

Short sentences Personification

First person Rhetorical

Technique Definition Your own example

2. Come up with your own

2. The sky was now a devastating home cooked

3. The small German town had been flung

You should include the following:

 The writer’s uses of imagery