DEALING WITH

LOSS AND GRIEF

Guidance & Counseling Department
Kirinyaga University
Academic Block-Room G29
2nd February 2024
 OUTLINE

• Introduction: What is grief?

• Personality types of Grief.
• Why is it important to talk about grief now?
• Myths about grieving
• Forms of grief
• The stages of grieving
• The process of supporting someone through grief
• Dos and don’ts in grief process
 WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT GRIEF?

People experience losses such as:-

• Loss of loved ones
• Loss of jobs
• Loss of income and livelihoods
• Loss of value of their investments
• And many other things….
 WHAT IS GRIEF?

• Grief is a natural but painful response to the loss of someone loved or

something very important to someone such as a partner, job, finances, or
even opportunity.
• The grief process depends on many factors such as personality, coping
style, faith, life experiences and how significant the loss was to
someone.
PERSONALITY TYPES TO GRIEF

• Nomad: Experience a variety of emotions during the grief process and normally alternate back and
forth between emotions (anger, depression, confusion, etc) A nomad tends to experience all stages
of grief as they deal with loss.
• Memorialist: Is normally consumed with memories of their loved ones
• Normalizer: Uses the loss as a motivation to mend broken relationships with distant relative and
significant others.
• Activist: Chooses to deal with loss by using it to find meaning in their lives
• Seeker: Hope to gain some types of understanding of the world and try to find meaning and a
sense of belonging in their own life to deal with grief.
MANIFESTATION OF GRIEF
 GRIEVING HAS BOTH EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL
MANIFESTATIONS

EMOTIONAL MANIFESTATIONS PHYSICAL MANIFESTATIONS

• Crying • Fatigue
• Sadness
• Nausea
• Anger
• Guilt • Weight loss/gain
• Fear • Body aches/ Pains
• Insomnia
• Heart problems
• Self isolation
• Suicidal thoughts • Relapse
FORMS OF GRIEF IN THE CONTEXT OF DEATH

• Complicated grief: Intense state of mourning because the loss of a

loved one was traumatic and sudden. This is common with
ambiguous loss.
• Anticipatory grief: Experienced when the death of a loved one is
due to a chronic illness.
• Unanticipated grief: Unexpected loss due to short illness or accident.
 THE STAGES OF GRIEVING

• Avoidance of 4. Depression
reality
• Common
2. Anger
• Internal reflections • Positively
defense and attempts to • Reality of loss coming to terms
mechanism reconcile events
sinking and with grief
• Feelings of causing pain
anger directed at
1. Denial other people
3 Bargaining
5. Acceptance
MYTHS ABOUT GRIEVING

• The pain of loss will go fast if you ignore it.

• If you don’t cry it means you have not grieved enough.
• Moving on with life means forgetting about the loss.
• Grieving should not take less than a year.
HOW TO SUPPORT SOMEONE GOING
THOUGH GRIEF
• Step 1: Empathize with the person who has suffered loss.
• Step 2: Assure the person that its okay to express emotions, including crying.
• Step 3: Help the person to confront his feelings, and ultimately to accept that
loss is part of life, whilst monitoring any likely negative behaviors/ thoughts.
• Step 4: Support the person to leverage positive social norms, cultural and
religious beliefs which can facilitate recovery from pain.
THE PROCESS OF PROVIDING SUPPORT-
CONTINUED….
• Step 5: Encourage the person to create time to reflect and grieve, including through
memory books, surveying photos with others, and with close relations where helpful.
• Step 6: Encourage the person to leverage family relations and other support systems by
spending time sharing love, memories, and future prospects.
• Step 7: Help the person to go over the pain, and to face the future, with patience and
sensitivity. This may take a bit of time from weeks to months.
• Step 8: Follow up regularly until the person is recovered and able to cope with the loss.
 DON’TS IN GRIEF PROCESS

• Do not play down emotions of other people.

• Do not rush healing.
• Do not take away their pain
• Do not tell them ‘’You’ll get over it soon’’
• Don’t shut them up when they express themselves
because every person is different.
FINAL THOUGHTS

• People cope with loss in

different ways because of
culture, religion,
personality and
circumstances
surrounding the loss.

• No one size fits all!

 For further assistance reach out to:-

Kirinyaga University
Guidance & Counseling Department
Email:kyustudentcounsellor@kyu.ac.ke
Or
Visit Academic Block-Room G29