Recap
• Introduction to the Author
and those being written to
• Who Christ is?
• What has Christ Done?
• Suffering for Christ
• Growing in Knowledge
• Standing firm against
Deception
• New life
• Christ our only Focus
• Setting our priorities right
• Live your transformation
• Wear your new self
• God’s word in us
• Family Relationship
Colossians
Chapter 3 – Bible study –
Verse 18-21
Family Relationship
18
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as
is fitting in the Lord.19 Husbands, love your wives
and do not be harsh with them.20 Children, obey
your parents in everything, for this pleases the
Lord.21 Fathers,[c] do not embitter your children,
or they will become discouraged.
How important is your family?

Does our new position in Christ affect how

we respond to our family?

Read Colossian 3: 18-21

Wives – v18

The natural ‘desire’ of women is to seek to control her husband. To seek to

manipulate to get her own way (Gen 3:16).
Read - 1 Peter 3: 1-6
Submit – (Hypotassesthe) Borrowed from the military meaning to be under in rank.
The wife submits not be cause he deserves it but because he is her husband
Rank not Value (Gal 3:28)
The order of authority (1 Cor 11:3)
The submission therefore refers to being part of a team with the husband as the captain
and every one else in the family having their specific place
Wives – v18
Submission is voluntary never forced or demanded.
Submission to your own husband – This is not a general command of submission.

As is fitting in the Lord – This does not mean submitting to your husband as if he
were god, that it defines the extent of the submission the limits to submission. It
does not mean as long as the husband does what the Lord want, this too defines
the limits of submission.
It defines the MOTIVE for submission
You submit to your husband because it is an expression of your submission to the
Lord.
Wives – v18
Wives submit simply because it honour God’s Word and His order of
authority.
It is part of her Christian life
As such great care should be taken in choosing a husband
However, this command is not absolute

Under what circumstances is this possible?

Husbands vs 19

The natural ‘desire’ of the husband is to seek to rule or dominate his

wife (Gen 3:16).
The statement made by Paul definitely counter culture because Jews
viewed women as possessions
Read 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5:25-28
Husbands are required to love, care for, encourage and serve the wife
Love – agape – not a romantic love, or God’s love but a sacrificial, giving, absorbing
love.
Husbands vs 19

•It is a love that loves without changing.

•It is a self-giving love that gives without demanding or expecting re-payment.
•It is love so great that it can be given to the unlovable or unappealing.
•It is love that loves even when it is rejected.
•Agape love gives and loves because it wants to; it does not demand or expect
repayment from the love given. It gives because it loves, it does not love in
order to receive.
The husbands love should be realistic , sacrificial , purposeful and personal
Husbands vs 19

This love is the kind of love Jesus has for His people

Do not be bitter towards them – even if the husband feels justified, he isn’t
They must love with tender and faithful affection as Christ loved the Church.
Hosea is the best example we can see in scripture of this
Marriage

The Marriage relationship is a reflection of the trinitarian relationship.

With the unity and authority being a showing how mankind is made in
the image of God
Greater than 50% of marriages end in divorce
Because of our sinful nature.
Broken marriages can lead to broken families and homes with a domino effect;
broken education system, broken government etc
Children vs 20

Paul is speaking to children still within the family household and under their
authority.
Obeying is not separate from honouring
Children must obey their parents in all things. If the child does not obey in
everything and recognise their authority, then the child is unlikely to recognise the
authority of others
You are not doing them a favour by allowing them to run freely and doing
whatever they like.
Children vs 20

It should be noted that this letter was read to the church which meant that the
entire family was present to worship and hear God’s word together.
Again obedience has limits – Children should not obey anything that violates God’s
Word
How have we seen the rebellion of youth in society?
Father vs 21

Provoke/embitter – Irritate by exacting commands and perpetual faultfinding

How can parents provoke their children?

Often times children are blamed for their bad behaviour. What Paul is saying it can
be provoked by the parent. Mind do you this doesn’t justify the bad behaviour

Less they become discouraged – children who growing up being provoked become
discouraged
Father vs 21

Children who are discouraged don’t feel loved and supported. They often believe
that the world is against them.

Therefore as parents our parenting should be seasoned with grace, grace and more
grace.
Like our Heavenly Father, we should be gracious, gentle, forgiving, longsuffering
with our Children.