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news
Too Many Journalists, Not Enough News
partment helps reporters identify the mean it always is.
By Lauren Dubinsky best resource to gain an understanding
of the topic on which they are reporting
There was a meeting
held between 25 campus
and provide them with the resources administrators to discuss
For some time, the Journalism needed if an interview is requested and how they were going to
School and the Media Relations Office agreed upon,” said Lauren Sheprow, In- handle the excess better.
have been experiencing a dilemma re- terim Media Relations Officer at Stony “Our goal is to get students
garding the difficulty of accommodat- Brook University. “The media relations out on campus doing ter-
ing the rapidly growing population of office enjoys a professional and mutu- rific stories,” Schneider
journalism students at Stony Brook ally rewarding working relationship said. The Journalism
University. Recently, a meeting was held with the School of Journalism. We meet School developed three key
between 25 campus officials in order to often to develop ideas to enhance the solutions that they say will
develop a consensus on the issue. They students’ academic experience.” lead them to achieve their
created a solution that would both max- It gets complicated when students goal. If many students are
imize the ability of journalism students do stories that involve controversial is- writing a similar story and
on campus and prevent any logistical sues, because only a few officials are au- need to interview the same
problems from presenting themselves. thorized to speak on the issue. Many administrator, if possible,
“Given the number of students we students covered the controversy over they will alert the adminis-
have, we realized we can create logistical the hotel on campus, yet a select few trator together. This will
problems for campus administration,” campus officials were allowed to com- prevent the administrator
said Howard Schneider, founding Dean ment and the media relations office was from being interviewed
of the Journalism School at Stony Brook not able to accommodate everyone. various times and ensure
University. “Sheer volume is the problem,” said that all of the students get “Bark bark bark bark”
Professors assign journalism stu- Schneider, regarding the present the information they need.
dents to write and produce stories in- amount of journalism students. In 2006, Many times when a
volving the campus. In order to produce Stony Brook University started off with student is conducting an interview, they their sources, making it easier for these
these pieces, students must gain access zero journalism majors. Now that num- are unprepared and as a result they do students to get in touch with officials.
with sources, which makes interviews ber is between roughly 250 to 300 ma- not retrieve the information that they Schneider made it clear that the
with campus officials essential. The only jors. Although it is a blessing to the need to write a story. The administra- Journalism School has nothing to do
problem, many students choose to write Journalism School, there has been some tors aim to combat this by ensuring that with campus media. Their main objec-
similar stories which means a particu- difficulty along with it. students are prepared before talking to tive is to accommodate their own stu-
lar campus official will have to be inter- Given the amount of students that the administration official. By doing dents to ensure their success. Schneider
viewed several times. Many of these require interviews with campus offi- this, the student can ask good questions said that the meeting with the campus
sources are not available 24/7 to con- cials, and taking into consideration the and get all of the information they need. administration was very productive and
duct these interviews. fact that the officials will have to be in- Lastly, the seniors who are involved he has high hopes in what the future
In the past, the Media Relations Of- terviewed at various times, the task be- in campus beats and big projects will in- will bring.
fice acted as a mediator to help students comes almost impossible. But just troduce themselves to campus officials “Tension is inevitable and healthy,”
get access to campus officials. “The de- because it may seem impossible, doesn’t and seek to establish a relationship with said Schneider.
Editorial Board
Executive Editor
Andrew Fraley
editorials
Managing Editor
Najib Aminy
Associate Editor
Natalie Crnosija
The Ugly Truth About PHEEIA
We couldn’t disagree more with the stering the school’s operating budget, shoulders of the students.
Business Manager misleading name of the new proposal but to filling in the budgetary gap left Aside from this hypocrisy that pro-
Katie Knowlton
by Governor Paterson for the SUNY by dried up state funding. Indeed, there ponents of this plan are force feeding us,
Production Manager system. The Public Higher Education is an additional $90 million in cuts pro- there is the half-truth that SUNY’s
Tia “Bee” Mansouri Empowerment and Innovation Act is jected to come SUNY’s way. The only poorest students will be held harmless.
News Editors being touted as the saving grace of the difference is that this time the budget A quarter of all funds generated by
Raina Bedford ailing SUNY. The act, however, is nei- cuts will happen more regularly, with these tuition hikes will be held over for
Laura Cooper
ther empowering nor innovative. In full knowledge that the students can be grants and scholarships for the needier
Features Editor fact, this is just another chapter in a made to pick up the slack. As NYPIRG students. This additional burden to sub-
Ross Barkan decades-long history of movement to- Board of Directors Chairperson Patrick sidize the poorer students’ educations is
Arts Editor ward the privatization and reduction of Krug said in a release to the Senate Fi- being pawned off on students who are
Liz Kaempf funding for SUNY. nance Committee: “better off ”. According to The Project
Sports Editor In a Feb. 1 University Senate meet- “Even if the law were changed so on Student Debt, the average debt for
Jason Wirchin ing, the primary focus was the new leg- that new monies generated by Stony Brook graduates in 2008 was
islation, which, if enacted, would local tuition hikes would be held $17,375. Is that an acceptable amount of
Photo Editor
Eric DiGiovanni guarantee steady rises in tuition over exclusively for SUNY and CUNY, debt for the average student? Is increas-
Roman Sheydvasser the next several years or more. Stony those new tuition dollars would ing that by hundreds of dollars more a
Copy Editors
Brook’s representative in Albany, Abe still be mounted atop a base of year alright, as well? We’d also like to
Kelly Yu Lackman, presented a summary of state funding—a base that will point out that president Stanley’s origi-
Iris Lin Stony Brook’s financial woes, and the erode quickly when state budgets nal plan—he’s supported the idea of tu-
Webmaster potential impact of PHEEIA. Claiming get tight because tuition hikes ition hikes since the beginning of his
Roman Sheydvasser that it would increase student enroll- will have become a first option presidency—was for the state to fund
ment by 3,000 students, and faculty and rather than a last resort.” additional support for the poorest stu-
Audiomaster
Josh Ginsberg staff by 1,000 new positions, Lackman In the end, we can expect the same dents. Now that it’s become obvious that
asserted that PHEEIA will revitalize quality of education that we’re getting this isn’t going to happen, is it alright to
Ombudsman
James Laudano Stony Brook. now, only more expensive. In ten years, push that burden onto average students
The fact that a number of SUNY with a steady increase of 6-7 percent (as as well? Keeping tuition increases from
administrators—including SUNY chan- the administration predicts there will affecting the neediest students isn’t
Minister of Archives cellor Nancy Zimpher and Stony Brook be), students will be paying over $7,000 going to prevent them from affecting
Alex H. Nagler President Samuel L. Stanley—support for an equivalent education. If the ad- the struggling middle class students. In
the legislation is indicative of two ministration claims that there will be a response to Lackman’s Senate meeting
Layout Design by things. First, the SUNY administration, continued state support, they’re either presentation, United University Profes-
Jowy Romano
along with many in the state govern- lying to you or deluding themselves. sions President Arthur Shertzer said,
ment, subscribes to the same wrong Additionally, the University Senate “It’s that group in the middle that most
Staff idea that the state can’t or shouldn’t ad- meeting demonstrated some of the of us are in. That’s the group that’s
Kotei Aoki Matthew Maran
equately fund SUNY. Also, as bureau- many benefits of a well funded SUNY. gonna get hit the hardest.”
Vincent Barone Chris Mellides cracies are accustomed to do, the According to Lackman’s presentation: If you’re as upset about these pro-
Laina Boruta Justin Meltzer
Matt Braunstein James Messina administration wants to be able to exer- “PHEEIA will create jobs, build ceedings as we are, here are things we
Michelle Bylicky Steve McLinden
Tony Cai Samantha Monteleone cise greater control over SUNY, at the the foundations for tomorrow’s urge you to do. Write your state legisla-
Alex Cardozo Roberto Moya cost of imposing an even greater burden economy and strengthen public tors, or call them, and urge them to re-
Lionel Chan Daniel Murray
Mike Cusanelli Frank Myles on students, and further increasing the higher education—while saving store the funding eliminated by budget
Caroline D’Agati Chris Oliveri
Krystal DeJesus Ben van Overmeier inaccessibility of a state provided edu- millions of taxpayers’ dollars. cuts Paterson has proposed, and to op-
Joe Donato Laura Paesano cation. Furthermore, their support for SUNY estimates that over the pose PHEEIA. At Stony Brook, many
Brett Donnelly Grace Pak
Lauren Dubinsky Tim Paules the act is based on misleading facts at next ten years, its campuses will student groups are mobilizing to fight
Nick Eaton Rob Pearsall
Michael Felder Kelly Pivarnik best, and outright lies at worst. create more than 10,000 new jobs tuition hikes, with actions that include a
Caitlin Ferrell Aamer Qureshi
Vincent Michael Festa Kristine Renigen
Historically, tuition hikes have fol- and invest $8.5 billion in capital rally on campus on March 4. In addi-
Joe Filippazzo Dave Robin lowed, or been followed by, commensu- construction which will support tion, NYPIRG is mobilizing students
Rob Gilheany Jessica Rybak
David Knockout Ginn Joe Safdia rate budget cuts. Throughout the Senate more than 43,700 direct and across the state on March 9 up in Al-
Evan Goldaper Henry Schiller
Jennifer Hand Natalie Schultz meeting’s presentation pushing for 21,800 indirect construction bany for a Higher Education Lobby
Stephanie Hayes Jonathan Singer PHEEIA, Lackman kept mentioning the jobs.” Day. There will be meetings with legis-
Andrew Jacob Nick Statt
Liz Kaempf Rose Slupski “Big If ”, that is, that their entire plan de- It’s absolute bullshit that the task of lators, and rallying for adequate fund-
Jack Katsman Marcel Votlucka
Samuel Katz Alex Walsh pends on the state’s steady and contin- funding thousands of new jobs and in- ing for SUNY. To find out more, visit
Yong Kim Brian Wasser ued support. But what history tells us is vesting billions of dollars to reinvigorate NYPIRG’s office, in the basement of the
Rebecca Kleinhaut Matt Willemain
Frank Loiaccono Mari Wright-Schmidt that these tuition hikes won’t go to bol- New York’s economy should fall on the Union, room 079.
Kenny Mahoney Jie Jenny Zou
An Excellent Use of 87 Years...
By Matt Willemain
In the waning days of World War II,
as Howard Zinn recounted one of the
formative events of his life, everyone
knew the war in Europe would be over
in a few weeks. Still, Zinn, serving as an
Air Force Bombardier, didn’t ask ques-
tions when he was told to fly one more
bombing mission over an inactive
group of German occupiers in France,
who were simply waiting to surrender
and go home. He didn’t question the
unusual ordinance he was asked to drop
on the run—which turned out to be the
first test bombing with napalm—and,
from his perch in the sky, had no idea
of the terrible agonies he was unleash-
ing on soldiers who would otherwise
soon be putting down their weapons.
For Zinn, the incident crystallized
two major tenants of the philosophy
that guided his work as a revisionist his-
torian and a political activist. First, that
seeming passivity is essentially equal to
active support for the status quo, and
second, that the actions of each ordi-
nary person deserve attention.
On Jan. 27, Zinn died at the age of
87. A pillar of the counterculture, Zinn
had a profound influence on how mil-
lions understood their history and, con-
sequently, their role in unfolding events.
He was a tireless critic of a conventional
historical narrative that overempha-
sized the significance of so-called great
men and overlooked the countless ac-
tions or acquiescence of everyone else.
Zinn distinguished himself among his-
torians by his bold refusal to keep his
head down and affect the dishonest ve-
neer of objectivity. He both encouraged
others around him to participate pas-
sionately in public life—as was dictated
by his recognition of the power and re-
sponsibility of everyone.
A history professor at schools in-
cluding Atlanta’s Spelman College (the
US’s oldest historically black women’s
college) and more recently Boston Uni-
versity, Zinn was the author of over
twenty books, including his most fa- spective of the underprivileged: groups the sidelines of public life. Committee, and the movement against
mous work, the long-time bestseller A such as American Indians, slaves, For his students and his readers, a the Vietnam war, writing the first book
People’s History of the United States, and women, immigrants and laborers. It is healthy dose of Zinn’s perspective pro- calling for an unconditional withdrawal
his autobiography, You Can’t Be Neutral a narrative with a healthy respect for ag- vided not just a broader understanding and helping Daniel Ellsburg to hide the
on a Moving Train. itators. Underneath Zinn’s writing is an of history, but also the shot-in-the-arm Pentagon Papers before their publica-
What sets Zinn’s account of US his- important understanding: that how they needed to get involved in shaping tion in the New York Times.
tory apart is the recognition that, too readers of history conceive of the world their communities and their nation. Survived by his students, including
often, historical accomplishments and is instrumental in how they see their Zinn was, himself, deeply involved in the author of The Color Purple, Alice
social progress is misattributed to ex- opportunities to participate in it. A innumerable struggles for social justice Walker, and Children’s Defense Fund
cessively-celebrated political leaders, people whose picture of the world is during his lifetime. Among other founder Marian Wright Edelman, and
and neglects all the efforts of people op- shaped by stories in which official au- causes, he was involved in the civil his books (A People’s History of the
erating on a smaller scale. A People’s thorities, acting largely alone, lead the rights movement, serving as an officer United States is a must-read), Zinn’s
History traces US history from the per- nation, are inclined to sit passively on for Student Non-Violent Coordinating contributions to American life persist.
6 News Vol. XXXI, Issue 8 | Wednesday, February 10, 2010
SUNY Needs Some Green
cording to the letter, PHEEIA would allow weeks. world,” Levinton said. “We can wait long
By Natalie Crnosija more predictable increases in tuition, the
ability to hire new faculty and make new
With plans for both SUNY’s and SBU’s evo-
lution and foreseeable growth, many of the
enough and then it will be too late to fulfill
these ideals with much more than mediocre
classes and types of research available to the SBU professors who spoke during the open scholarship and hollow prefaces. We must
SUNY as a source of environmental student population. Largely divesting the forum stressed balancing growth with con- act soon and forcefully on our current,
sustainability was the central theme for the New York State legislature of financial con- servation. Professor Malcolm Bowman of pressing problems.”
Feb. 4 Stony Brook University-leg of the trol of SUNY, PHEEIA would permit rela- the School of Marine and Atmospheric Sci- Talk of SBU’s expansion and economic
SUNY Strategic Plan 2010 conference. tionships with private industries which ences (SoMAS) urged the administration growth occurs in the wake of Stanley’s an-
“We need all the understanding and would provide a new stream of revenue to to develop a formal plan for development. nouncement of an on-campus hotel, lo-
support we can muster to say this is what SBU and other SUNY schools, giving new- “There is an endless challenge with conser- cated near the north entrance of the
SUNY can really become,” said SUNY found autonomy to state universities. This vation on one hand and development on university. Currently, an unbroken 11-acre
Chancellor Nancy L. Zimpher. “It’s not just autonomy requires an increase in tuition, a the other,” said Bowman. “That’s why I urge forest occupies the area. Seven of those
about SUNY. It’s not just about New York. cost, administrators argue, is worth paying. that we need not develop in an ad hoc way, acres will be removed to make way for the
It’s really about being a global model for en- 135-room hotel.
ergy and sustainability, reducing our carbon In Fall 2009, Professor Robert C. Aller
footprint and increasing our knowledge of SoMAS cited this development as only
footprint…about how we can live and work the latest in SBU’s poor environmental
sustainably.” record. At the Feb. 4 conference, Aller said
Professors and researchers offered he was stunned at the administration’s con-
models and suggestions for both SBU’s and tinued disregard for conservation.
SUNY’s move toward green technology and “Those of us at Stony Brook are
increased awareness of energy practices and shocked at the changes that are occurring
environmental conservation. The U.S. De- here on our own campus due to the fairly
partment of Energy’s Under Secretary of fragmented and inconsistent way of devel-
Science Dr. Steven E. Koonin illustrated the opment,” said Aller. “The administration
current energy problems in relation to here has resisted any kind of systematic plan
global politics and economics, but stressed of those types. It has placed on the back
the necessity of scientific and sustainable burner any consideration by people outside
practices like curtailing greenhouse gas of the administration.”
emissions. Like Bowman, Aller strongly sup-
“We need to make a significant impact ported the creation of an environmental
on these problems,” said Koonin. “We need plan for the campus, a plan that would in
to do it in a reasonably short period of time; some ways mirror the strengthening of the
we also need to do it without breaking the SUNY system through PHEEIA.
bank and of course, these days, we need to “What I would like to propose, just like
make jobs in the process.” Koonin cited in- PHEEIA would free individual campuses
stitutions like SBU as having the potential from the central administrative pole,” Aller
to create solutions to these complex and said. “We should have a mini PHEEIA on
hotly debated issues, like the need for alter- each of our campuses which the adminis-
native fuels and sustainable engineering to tration here would be required to take into
minimize the human impact in climate account…multiple opinions…about how
change. the campuses should be developed and this
“Because energy is so ubiquitous, in should be done….a system of master plans
many senses, many people have different that balance growth and sustainable prac-
opinions about it and the clarity of the dis- Colleen Harrington tices and natural areas that we value so
cussion is not what one would like,” said Stony Brook attempts to emulate their satellite school, Southampton, in terms of sustainability.
much.”
Koonin. Another aspect of SBU’s and SUNY’s
Similarly, Zimpher addressed another but have a coordinated environmental aca- quest for sustainability—both environmen-
issue at the heart of the SUNY system’s in- Former SBU President John H. Mar- demic hybrid master plan.” tal and financial—is in the field of research.
stitutional sustainability—The Public burger, III said that PHEEIA would only Bowman offered points for this hypo- Brookhaven National Lab’s Assistant Di-
Higher Education Empowerment and In- help SBU and the SUNY system. During thetical plan, including preserving wood- rector of Labs J. Patrick Looney stressed the
novation Act. Marburger’s tenure in the early 90’s, SUNY lands and installing solar panels on building tremendous potential both the SBU and the
“[The Public Higher Education Em- tuition double through the system that was roofs. Similarly, SBU SoMAS Professor Jef- SUNY system have because of the working
powerment and Innovation Act is] a very in place. frey Levinton suggested alterations in cam- relationship with Brookhaven.
new way of thinking about what SUNY “Tuition doubling is very painful,” said pus behaviors, like maximizing the use of “I can think of no other institution in
needs to be fully effective for the state of Marburger. “When you know tuition is mass transit, reducing the use of fossil fuels New York State that has a greater suite of as-
New York, particularly in helping New York going up, you need to plan for it.” Stanley to power the university’s facilities and the sets to bring to bear on the problem in
generate revenue is actually the problem and Dean of Students Jerrold L. Stein as- preservation of natural landscapes, all of terms of intellectual breadth as well as geo-
that we are facing,” said Zimpher. sured students who are dependent on fi- which would enable New York state to graphic coverage across the state, said
According to President Samuel L. Stan- nancial support from the state that they reach its sustainability goals and curb the Looney. “The challenges unifying…the
ley, Jr.’s Jan. 15 letter to the university, “The would not lose their financial support. state-wide carbon footprint. state and the youth in the SUNY system
Public Higher Education Empowerment “Nobody wants to hear that tuition will “This ecological integrity will be used gives a decided competitive advantage to
and Innovation Act would allow the SUNY go up,” said Stein. “[PHEEIA] would give to educate our students locally and integrate meet its long term goals.”
Board of Trustees to implement differential sustainability.” this education globally for a global under-
tuition for all SUNY State-operated cam- The New York State Legislature is due standing of the world’s ecology practices
puses, by campus and by program.” Ac- to vote on PHEEIA within the next few and education programs throughout the
The Stony Brook Press News 9
Chance of Higher Tuition Prices and
Increased Privatization
budget of roughly $308 million. Stony Ultimately, a quarter of the money “It isn’t that the campuses just do
By Najib Aminy Brook has seen declining state support
and two recent tuition hikes that re-
generated from a tuition increase would
be poured back into the system to help
what they want,” said Norman Good-
man, Vice President and Secretary of
sulted in a 17 percent hike in costs for cover those with financial need, Melucci the SUNY-wide Faculty Senate, re-
Under Governor David Paterson’s in-state students to $5,810 and a 21 per- said. sponding to criticisms of a possible in-
proposed higher education plan, Stony cent hike for out-of-state students, to “Our preference would be for the creased privatization of the University.
Brook University may experience dra- $12,070. Most of the revenue generated state tax support to be increased so we “There are a number of safeguards in
matic changes in its tuition rates, faculty from the tuition hike went to the state don’t have to charge students but that’s that line,” he said.
number and income sources. government in Albany and were not not going to happen,” said Melucci. Such privatization may offer finan-
The Public Higher Education Em- distributed to Stony Brook. “There’s just no money in the state gov- cial gain, but presents a challenge for
powerment and Innovation Act “The hard part is when you have to ernment.” the core principle of a public institution
(PHEEIA) targets SUNY campuses with sustain a 5, 8, 10 or 12 percent cut—you Which is why the option of public- such as Stony Brook—being public.
the possibility of a differential tuition can stop doing something that isn’t a private partnerships, specifically land- Goodman says, however, that the times
plan, where University Centers such as core mission, but you can’t keep doing lease programs, as appearing more have changed.
Stony Brook can charge higher rates the same thing you were doing before,” lucrative for universities across the state. “Many of us on the faculty believe
than other four-year colleges. It would said Dan Melucci, Stony Brook Associ- “Our deal is to work with business and we should be called the state assisted
also allow a compound-systemic tuition ate Vice President for Strategy and industry around translating the ideas rather than a state university,” said
hike that would raise tuition every year, Analysis. “For the academic sector, they generated on campuses into the com- Goodman, addressing the fact that
supposedly by a smaller percentage, that teach classes, run libraries and provide mercial market,” said Zimpher, citing Stony Brook’s public support through
administrators say would prevent sud- funding continues to decrease. “Priva-
den double digit raises. tization [of the campus] is not going to
The plan also aims to hasten the change with this—that’s been a process
process for public universities to create going on in the last few decades.”
private-partnerships through methods However, much of Stony Brook’s fu-
such as land-lease, allowing additional ture is left to speculation, as it is ulti-
streams of income for the university mately the legislature’s decision on
and depending on the partnership, op- whether or not to support Paterson’s
portunities for students to work with budget proposal, making planning for
professional companies related to their next year’s academic year that much
studies. more challenging.
Paterson’s plan, which is included in “We’re running models from 0 tu-
his Executive Budget, is far from being ition increase to 10 percent and we have
completed or voted on by the New York no idea where it’s going to come in be-
Legislature, though support is strong tween,” said Melucci, who is looking at
from both SUNY and Stony Brook offi- a potentially needing to make in cuts of
cials. “This empowerment and innova- $30 million from Stony Brook’s budget
tion act is really all about helping SUNY Eric DiGiovanni
Chancellor Nancy Zimpher next year. “We’re hesitant to distribute
really increase its ability to service the that cut because we know how difficult
state of NY,” said SUNY Chancellor academic advising services—how do the success the Silicon Valley has had it would be and how upsetting it would
Nancy Zimpher during a press confer- you cut 20 percent without students get- with partnerships between universities be to the campus to deal with those
ence. “Some have said our [SUNY’s] ting the short end of the stick?” and the private sector. kind of numbers if there is going to be
plan is a road map and this empower- The solution Stony Brook adminis- According to Stanley, the plan cre- significant tuition revenue relief com-
ment plan is the license to drive,” said trators are pursuing is increasing tu- ates “the opportunity to do some things ing three months later,” Melucci said.
Zimpher, who said the act would in ition. Of the $308 million budget Stony that would be absolutely great for our Bills and expense reports for the up-
essence take the shackles off SUNY to Brook operates, nearly half of it is raised campus which are economically diffi- coming academic year are paid and
pursue its core mission goals. by tuition revenue, and with continuing cult for us to do through the current filed usually months before the semes-
Stony Brook President Samuel L. decreases in state support, tuition is the system.” Specifically, the cost of gradu- ter starts, making the decision to carry
Stanley announced in early January his one source of revenue that Stony Brook ate housing could be decreased, ad- cuts that much more difficult.
strong support for Paterson’s plan, say- administrators say can get them dressing a pressing concern on Long What happens in the next three
ing that the initiative would allow Stony through these difficult times. Island, where living expenses are among months will determine whether stu-
Brook to compete with other universi- A 1 percent increase in tuition the highest in the nation, through a pri- dents will be paying increased amounts
ties nationwide. “Right now we are in a amounts to about $1.4 million in added vate partnership. for their tuition next year, whether there
situation where our state support is revenue, and while projected models of Each SUNY university, however, will be an increase of private ventures
eroding and yet we’re getting no alter- tuition increases for next year are as would have to go through a process to on campus, and whether there will be
native ways to increase revenue,” said high as 10 percent, that would only acquire such partnerships. The Presi- newly hired professors with the in-
Stanley, who is a proponent of tuition amount to a quarter of the deficit Stony dent would have to approve the project, creased revenue.
hikes. “If you compare us with the AAU Brook is facing. Secondly, under the a safeguard which is intended to honor “The reason we’re getting all these
[Association of American Universities] proposed PHEEIA, the hike in educa- the school’s mission statement. If a uni- budget cuts is that New York is incredi-
universities, our tuition is near the bot- tion costs will threaten the financial sta- versity president approves a partnership bly short on revenue and it’s going to be
tom, it is the bottom in out of state tu- bility of Stony Brook’s neediest students. or land-lease deal, the proposition short for some time to come, unless we
ition [amongst others in the AAU]. We The administration is looking to ease would be reviewed by the SUNY Board can create the jobs that employ our
can’t compete to deliver quality educa- the financial stress on these students of Trustees, who would then pass it to a graduates that bring revenue to the state
tion,” Stanley said. with the revenue it collects from any new independent committee of three that allows the state to invest in higher
Stony Brook’s budget has been cut overall tuition increase by offering as- officials that would be appointed by the education,” Zimpher said. “It’s a food
nearly 18 percent in its past two fiscal sistance beyond what the Tuition Assis- Governor and approved by the legisla- chain and we are the catalyst.”
years, specifically by $55 million from a tance Program covers. ture.
10 Vol. XXXI, Issue 8 | Wednesday, February 10, 2010
news
I-Con 29: Because Comebacks are Better
much smaller than that of SBU as a between hotels and the convention site. split up.”
whole for a convention that draws be- SBU student Brian Egerter, a senior I-Con and SBU remained in con-
By Laura Cooper tween 5,000 and 6,000 participants an- from Hauppauge who had attended I- tact over the year apart and when I-Con
nually. Con for the past five conventions, found learned the space would be available
I-Con 28 used Suffolk Community that it was a challenge to get to I-Con 28 they were “interested and began nego-
College as well as two other sites to last year. tiating to return.”
“ere’s no place like home,” boasts house its convention along with buses “It was really annoying because I “Finally it’s back!” said Ceng.
I-Con 29’s website and promotional to transport attendees between the don’t drive, so getting there without re- e drawback of having I-Con back
flyer. Aer a one year absence from at SBU this year is its timing. I-Con
Stony Brook University, it was an- usually takes place between mid-
nounced that the science fiction con- March and mid-April. is year is
vention will be returning to campus no different except that the conven-
on March 26-28, 2010. tion will take place from March 26
I-Con is a yearly convention that to the 28th, the weekend before
has taken place at SBU since 1982 Spring break.
with the exception of last year. e “In the past we avoided both holi-
convention boasts speeches from sci- days and spring break,” said Eanes.
ence fiction authors, booths on gam- “is year the Student Activities
ing, anime, performances and special Center and Union were only avail-
guests. It is the largest convention of able on Spring Break and the end
its kind in the Northeast. weekend of Spring break is Easter,
I-Con relocated last year accord- so the March dates were the only
ing to Jackie Eanes, vice president of available dates for this year in our
I-Con Science Fiction Inc. SBU usual timeframe.”
chapter, because “[the school] was Junior Bethany Sutcliffe looks for-
not scheduling use of the arena more ward to I-Con every year. “It’s a nice
than 6 months out and could not tell weekend where you can just go
us if it would be available.” is crazy, relax with friends and be
scheduling was due to construction yourself,” she said. “You can meet
taking place in the Sports Complex new people make friends and
where I-Con is usually held. Aer I- maybe see some celebrities.”
Con and Stony Brook officials met to ough it is unclear what effect the
discuss the future of the convention rush for students to get home for
they decided “trying to plan in the Spring break will have on the con-
time frame given would not be feasi- vention, it is clear that many veteran
ble,” according to Eanes. e school I-Con convention goers will be
was unsure whether or not the space pleased with the relocation aer a
Candyman! Candyman! Candyman!
would be available. Planning the myriad of problems at last year’s
convention takes between 12-15 three locations. lying on friends or someone that I know convention.
months in advance. “Our size forced us to use multiple was nearly impossible,” Egerter said. is year’s I-Con 29 is highlighted
As a result, I-Con 28 took place at locations for I-Con 28,” said Eanes. Tiffany Ceng, a junior Biology and as featuring Marc Gunn, a Celtic music
Suffolk Community College’s Brent- “is made handling any logistical con- Education major, echoed Egerter’s sen- performer and Dr. John H. Marburger,
wood Campus. e change of venue al- cerns as well as fully staffing three sites timents. “It was terrible, absolutely hor- President Bush’s science advisor. ose
lowed for later programming hours and difficult.” rible,” she said. ere were a couple of looking to purchase tickets or see
highlighted different features of the is fact was evident for a conven- panels that were nice, the dealer’s room speakers and celebrities as they are
convention. According to Eanes, the tion that had been at Stony Brook for was nice but it was just chaotic. We were added to the convention are encouraged
masquerade grew in popularity and the the 28 years prior. Complaints from not guaranteed to have an event happen to visit I-Con’s website at
convention was able to have a much convention goers ranged from crowded because of the bus routes and they can- http://www.iconsf.org/ for more infor-
larger dealer’s room. However, the space convention rooms and unreliable buses celled a lot of things because it was very mation.
at Suffolk Community College was
The Stony Brook Press 11
features
What happened on that Tuesday af-
ternoon in January attracted massive in-
ternational attention and aid to a
The History
Haiti remains the second oldest re-
public in the Western Hemisphere, sec-
ond only to the United States. However,
its long history has been marred by so-
cietal change, and many of the problems
that were only exacerbated by the earth-
quake have existed for more than a cen-
tury.
Haiti, then named Hispaniola, was
initially discovered by Columbus and
established as a Spanish settlement. The
indigenous population that lived in the
region was more or less killed off, most
likely due to European diseases to
which they had no immunity. With
more fruitful destinations in South
America and the prospect of gold and
other riches, the colony was slow to de-
velop, and regional pirates slowly di-
vided the nation up.
Spain continued to lose ground ter-
ritorially, and eventually ceded control
of the land to France in the Treaty of
Ryswick in 1697. Haiti was then re-
named Saint-Dominique.
At this point, the small settlement
began to grow and become quite suc-
cessful financially. Per the request of
Louis XIV, tobacco, indigo, cotton and
cacao markets were opened, and thus,
African slaves began to be imported at
high rates.
Through the late 1700’s the colony
The 7.0 earthquake that left hundreds of was increasingly successful. The small
settlement alone was producing nearly
thousands dead in the impoverished 40 percent of the sugar and 60 percent
of the coffee consumed in Europe.
ing a debt that they could not fully pay until 1947. au-Prince, caused by the
This was the first case in the long line of increas- movements of the
ing debt taken on by Haiti. The country has had rela- Caribbean and North American plates. The earth- Stony Brook student, who is working to have 20,000
tive success for the first few decades as it started to quake and the following 52 aftershocks would leave volunteers in Haiti by June 2010.
stand up on its own, but serious issues rose in 1911. A more than 200,000 people dead, scores more injured The damage of the earthquake is estimated to cost
revolution in the countryside broke out and, fearing and millions displaced. Scientifically, however, this 15 percent of Haiti’s Gross Domestic Product, accord-
German involvement in the re-shaping of the political was not surprising. ing to reports from the World Bank, and the costs to
landscape, the United States stepped in and attempted “In Haiti you can see the cross of the faults which, rebuild are projected to be in the billions. “If we wait
to bolster the countries’ banks. seismically, is very dangerous,” said Lianxing Wen, too long to start acting then things can get more
professor of geophysics in the Stony Brook Depart of chaotic down there,” Regis said. However, the in-
The Roosevelt Corollary Geosciences. “There has been an accumulation of volvement of political entities and non-governmental
The U.S. State Department, with backing from a stress with the last earthquake more than 200 years organizations is raising concern over the future of
number of American investors and the National City ago,” Wen said. Haiti.
Bank of New York, acquired Haiti’s lone commercial The earthquake hit Port-au-Prince, Haiti’s most
bank and government treasury. The U.S. continued to populated city with a population of 700,000, hardest, The Future
have their hands in Haiti’s business, and with fears of leaving the capital in ruins. In the initial weeks following the earthquake, the
an economic collapse in Haiti by American Banks, “We’re in dire need of help,” said Adal Regis, pres- United States sent 15,000 troops to deal with the re-
then President Woodrow Wilson arranged an occu- ident and founder of Rise Again Haiti, a non-profit or- lief effort, in addition to the 9,000 troops sent by the
pation of Haiti, which lasted until 1934. ganization aimed at supporting the reconstruction of United Nations. President Barack Obama’s decision to
Even when the occupation ended, U.S. involve- Haiti through sponsoring volunteers to contribute to install a majority force in Haiti created tension with
ment continued, and provided heavy financial aid into relief efforts. “We’ve lost everything, that little that we the French, who criticized the U.S. of being there for
the 1960’s. had was taken from us in 30 seconds,” said Regis, a ulterior motives.
The Stony Brook Press Features 13
“France is unhappy to the fact that the U.S. has France. Since Aristide’s de-
sent about 15,000 troops, and the whole world is ask- parture, Fouron said the
ing, ‘Why, why do we need so many American troops government became in-
in Haiti?’,” said Georges Fouron, an Africana Studies creasingly corrupt, and that
professor at Stony Brook University who specializes the monetary aid Haiti is re-
in Haiti. “Haiti has French-Latin culture, not Anglo- ceiving is in bad hands.
Saxon. The U.S. is too much involved in Haiti, and “If the Haitian govern-
French unhappiness is because they feel they are los- ment demands that the
ing their of sphere of influence,” Fouron said. money for the reconstruc-
As for the government, Fouron said the system is tion be given to it to con-
crooked and weak, especially after the 2004 U.S. sup- duct, it will be a disaster,”
ported coup of Haitian populist president Jean- Fouron said. “Yet, the
Bertrand Aristide. Aristide, who came into power Haitians will not accept a
after the authoritarian father and son reign of Fran- foreign power to take con-
cois Duvalier and Jean-Claude Duvalier, fought trol of the rebuilding of
Chris Hondros/Getty Images
against the U.S. privatization of Haiti’s state compa- Port-au-prince. It’s like Haiti A police officer points his gun at a man during a looting spree in Port-au-Prince
nies and sought for bettering the conditions of Haiti, is caught between a rock
through actions such as fighting for reparations from and a hard place.”
Death From A Distance...Up Close
the early 1600s, a firing mechanism on dition. And that is a controversial fast while the ultimate thinker knows he
By Ross Barkan muskets and rifles that made them far
more reliable, cheap, and easy to oper-
claim,” Bingham said. Though they
communicate their ideas in a meticu-
is hungry because he is a non-equilib-
rium thermodynamic system in need of
ate. Access to inexpensive coercive vio- lous manner that would make any ad- energy. Stressing impartiality, Bingham
Stony Brook professors Paul Bing- lence led to the end of the cycling, mirer of the scientific method proud, and Souza want to flesh out their vision
ham and Joanne Souza want to explain pre-modern state and voila—we have they realize they are entering more per- of a peaceful and prosperous human fu-
and alter the direction of human his- the United States of America, Great ilous territory when the word coerce is ture through an apolitical lens. Is this
tory. Affable, talkative and tireless, the Britain, etc. introduced into the context of nation possible? In a storm of proximate argu-
duo communicates with an eloquent ur- This idea of coercion funnels into states. After all, wasn’t the United States’ ments, they answer with a loud affir-
gency. They have scores of information their conception of humanity’s present controversial Iraq War, a blood- mative.
to convey and only so much time to “I think if we are successful in de-
convey it in. Skeptical or not, you are mocratizing Iraq, shockwaves will
compelled to listen. spread throughout the Islamic world,”
Bingham and Souza’s recently pub- Bingham said. “The money and lives
lished book Death From a Distance and we’ve invested in this if we follow
the Birth of a Humane Universe: Human through can pay enormous dividends in
Evolution, Behavior, History, and Your the future.” He and Souza envision a fu-
Future (BookSurge 2009) is a thorough ture without the “failed” volatile states
exploration of their theory of human of Iraq, Afghanistan, and North Korea.
uniqueness and evolution. Their theory The large democratic countries will
has been developed over decades of work to gradually push these totalitar-
teaching, study and research. “I would ian regimes toward democracy. Of
say this book is to the future of all course, this “push” isn’t so simple.
human social interaction what Darwin’s Thousands, if not millions of lives, will
books were to the future of biology,” be sacrificed as these wars continue.
said Bingham matter-of-factly. It’s clear Approving of President Obama’s de-
they have the proverbial Big Picture in cision to increase troop levels in
mind. Afghanistan, they are glad he is adher-
But what is this theory? Bingham and ing to their carefully laid vision of a
Souza, professors in the Department of peaceful, democratized tomorrow. “We
Biochemistry and Cell Biology, are have to give protection for the grass
eager to dispel the “myths” of human roots of democracy to come up,” Souza
uniqueness. It is not our large brains, said. “We must give [Afghanistan] pro-
bipedal nature, or command of lan- tection so they can guard what they
guage that distinguishes us from the rest produce to ensure that local warlords
of the animal kingdom. They argue in- won’t steal from them.” Cautiously opti-
stead that it is our ability to cooperate mistic, they ultimately do not envision
with non-kin on a large scale—some- the quagmire that many anti-war ac-
thing non-human animals do not do— tivists see in Afghanistan.
that makes us a unique species. The Bingham only worries that the U.S.
implications of their theory are great, and other democracies aren’t doing
they believe, because it helps to explain enough to promote democracy over-
the course of human history and ways seas. He calls acting in Afghanistan a
we as a species can achieve peace. and future. They believe, as many ana- drenched and chaotic attempt at estab- matter of “enlightened self-interest.” He
Bingham and Souza make some lysts do, that the most peaceful and ef- lishing democracy in the Middle East, a compares the failure to take immediate
pretty controversial assertions—asser- fective forms of government are form of this coercion? Yes, they argue, action in Afghanistan to failing to rec-
tions, though, that are backed by their democracies. “If we truly want to create and it was handled poorly. Bingham ognize the threat of Adolf Hiltler in
meticulous approach to evolutionary a more humane and productive world, and Souza, however, do not think this 1935, three years before the outbreak of
history. They argue that human civi- we need more democracy. Democracies means the U.S. and other democratized World War II. Whether an unstable
lization arose because human beings are not going to declare war on each nations should waver in their mission to Afghanistan poses the same threat to
possessed the ability of coercive threat. other. They trade with each other,” help non-democratic nations transition international interests as ultra-modern
Unlike their primate pals—monkeys Souza said. In their book and lectures at to democracy. Nazi Germany remains to be seen.
and apes—early humans could pick up Stony Brook (which are taped and will, Bingham and Souza stand out in the Bingham seems certain it will.
objects and hurl them with relatively they hope, be broadcast worldwide), liberal collegiate atmosphere by justify- The duo will continue to teach in
great accuracy and speed. This ability Souza and Bingham synthesize their ing the imperialist zeitgeist of 21st cen- the coming year, educating people
allowed humans to ostracize those who contentions by making one important tury American government. Rather about their findings. Humans are capa-
did not want to cooperate, the so-called claim: democratized nations, like the than viewing the wars in Iraq and ble of great things; peace, they believe,
free-riders. A monkey can steal from humans of early developing societies, Afghanistan as hegemonic brutality, does lie ahead. Must peace be paved on
and undermine his peers without reper- have an obligation to coerce non-de- they see wars of democracy and nation- the path of war? How many lives should
cussion. A human being cannot. mocratic states to become democracies. building from a long-term perspective. be sacrificed for this grand dream of a
Our relatively stable modern states “Democratized nations can gradu- Bingham and Souza lecture that human democratized planet? These are hard
are the result of this ability to inexpen- ally coerce the non-democratized parts beings are often mired in the search for questions.
sively coerce each other with the threat of the world to become democratic. proximate causes to dilemmas and fail “There are times when the willful
of violence. Bingham and Souza trace That, [the United States] must do. That to focus on ultimate causes. For exam- application of force by people of good
the explosion of the modern state to the is not a matter of Western values and ar- ple, the proximate thinker believes he is will is crucial,” Bingham said.
invention of the flintlock mechanism in bitrary choices. That is the human con- hungry because he has not eaten break-
The Stony Brook Press AA E-Zine 15
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16 Vol. XXXI, Issue 8 | Wednesday, February 10, 2010
arts&entertainment
A Quantum Deal With the Devil in Copenhagen
Pauli, developed and established quantum physics in see that the physicists and their story centered around
By Nick Statt the span of few decades, with Copenhagen at the heart
of it all. Before Hitler’s rise to power in 1933, Copen-
Copenhagen will be one etched into history alongside
the likes of Aristotle and Newton, as it rightly should
hagen saw one last sacred moment in which the titans be.
When Gino Segre, nephew of Nobel Laureate of physics could relax and exchange ideas in what they
Emilio Segre and retired U. Penn physics professor, all undoubtedly considered a second home at Bohr’s
stood in front of the class of approximately twenty institute.
Stony Brook students on Feb. 2, everyone was bracing With this in mind, Segre set out to write a book that Very few subjects within the
themselves for what would undoubtedly be an intel- would artistically encapsulate both the monumental
lectually challenging journey back to an age of ge- transition from classical to quantum mechanics and realm of academia are as
niuses. the emotionally charged relationships of the one-of- complex and baffling (at least
Segre is the author of the non-fiction novel Faust in a-kind geniuses that started it all. As Professor Bob
Copenhagen: A Struggle for the Soul of Physics and a Crease put it, the characters in Faust are unbelievably without the necessary years
long-time friend of Stony Brook physics professor Al- dynamic, and to an extent remarkably literary, in their of multi-field focus and expe-
fred Goldhaber. Goldhaber, who assigned Faust in personalities and interactions. So much so in fact that
Copenhagen to his PHI 382 class, was able to get Segre the physicists at the famed 1932 Copenhagen meeting rience) as quantum physicsbb b b b
himself to come talk about the very novel that the stu- decided to commemorate the event by casting them-
dents had been asked to finish one night prior. selves as characters in Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s
The Quantum Moment, as the class is called, is Faust and playing out the skit.
jointly taught by the intensely brilliant Goldhaber, a The story of Faust, which Goethe rewrote from the
Stony Brook professor for 42 years, and philosophy original version done by Shakespeare contemporary Throughout the non-fiction novel, Segre keeps the
professor Bob Crease, whose vast knowledge of both Christopher Marlowe, centers around the infamous deal-with-the-devil theme invigorated by a steady and
science and philosophy brought him to the History Dr. Faustus, who sells his soul to Satan for an unlim- appropriate quoting of Goethe, as well as unfolding
Department of the story of the real-life parody skit that future Nobel
Brookhaven Na- laureate Max Delbrück constructed for his friends and
tional Lab. colleagues in 1932. Niehls Bohr, the father and kind-
Very few subjects hearted genius of the Copenhagen meetings, became
within the realm of the Lord, while the relentlessly critical and witty Wolf-
academia are as gang Pauli became Mephistopheles, Satan’s manifes-
complex and baf- tation to Faustus. As for title character, Paul Ehrenfest
fling (at least with- became Ehrenfaust, the careful listener who would
out the necessary hear all arguments and attempt to sift through the
years of multi-field madness to find the answers.
focus and experi- The book reaches its crescendo when Delbrück’s
ence) as quantum 1932 skit is fully explained and the devastating dark
physics. The disci- sides of the quantum revolution are touched upon. As
pline is almost al- Segre explained to the class himself, once devoted
ways significantly friends became atomic researchers bent on essentially
simplified in the oc- killing one another (Werner Heisenberg was a pri-
casional New York mary component of Germany’s atom bomb project,
Times article on the while Niehls Bohr collaborated on the Manhattan
subject or far too Project). Even Faust himself fell victim to the most de-
heavy with scientific structive of his inner thoughts as 1933 saw both
jargon in different Hitler’s rise and Paul Ehrenfest’s suicide.
physics publications Segre finished speaking after a seemingly quick
that the average cu- hour and happily signed a number of copies of his
rious reader is lost book. Instead of befuddling the students with quan-
immediately. Be- tum chatter, Segre surprised some by taking a hum-
cause of these condi- bling route with his talk. He discussed the trials and
tions, it’s rare for tribulations of finishing his first two books, and the
anyone to exhibit an difficulties of writing his third, as well as having to
understanding of overcome the transition from theoretical physics to
even the surface of general public science writing. Segre stuck around for
the field, let alone the remainder of the class, even sticking through his
how it all began less old friend Goldhaber’s mind-bending mathematical
than a century ago with the brightest minds the world ited source of Earthly desires. At first, it sounds far too explanation of some of the topics touched upon in
had ever seen. abstract and detached to be applicable to quantum Faust in Copenhagen.
The quantum revolution, which took place physicists in the 1920s and 30s. But when faced with As Segre finished answering the last of the classes’
throughout the 1920s and 30s, was spurred on by a the fact that quantum physics directly influenced the questions, students began to pack up and file out.
number of remarkable achievements in physics that discovery and development of nuclear fusion, the sci- Segre stayed behind with Goldhaber and Crease, chat-
all occurred in quick succession. This was thanks to ence behind the atom bomb, one can see how a deal ting with an inquisitive smile on his face. All three
the vigorous collaboration between the world’s great- with the devil is a chillingly perfect analogy to explain seemed to be intent on continuing the discussion as if
est minds, but more importantly because this collab- the consequences and gravity of the quantum revolu- the class was meant to continue for hours. In the same
oration was only possible due to Niehls Bohr and his tion and its power to unlock both knowledge and de- spirit of the very men Segre wrote about, the three
highly influential Copenhagen Institute. structive power. teachers were happily sifting through all the questions
The world’s greatest in theoretical and experimen- It is this uncanny, yet literarily brilliant theme that and potential answers of history and science as duty
tal physics, from Werner Heisenberg to Wolfgang electrifies Segre’s non-fiction tale. It becomes easy to not just to knowledge, but their own natures as well.
The Stony Brook Press
Now in Theatres
Arts & Entertainment 17
John Travolta: Goatee Mania When In Roman Avatard Mel Gibson Shoots People
What J.D. Salinger Meant to His Readers thralling because it sang with authen- nanafish” before blowing his brains out philosophy meant something remark-
Elementary, My Dear...Zombies?!
story is passable. It is better than many more interesting if the art was clearly
By Evan Goldaper comics on the market, but the fact is
that he is no Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Victorian for reasons other than the
characters’ dress.
Holmes isn’t quite as likeable of a char- Really, this comic is not bad. It just
“Sherlock Holmes vs. Zombies!” acter as he was in the original myster- is very mediocre. Why read this when
screams a bloody textbox on the cover ies. If you have yet to read any of Conan there are dozens of better zombie books
of every issue of Ian Edginton’s and Da- Doyle’s stories, you won’t be disap- on the market? Moreover, why read this
vide Fabbri’s Victorian Undead. When I pointed by this fact, but you might be Holmes adventure when you could be
saw the first three issues lying on a table confused. Edginton assumes you know reading one of the originals? Unlike
at the Press’s office, I quickly scooped some things about Holmes’s universe Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in
them up. How could anyone not be in- that might not be common knowledge. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,
trigued by that concept? Zombies! The Simply put, nothing about the writing is Holmes has faced the paranormal be-
world’s greatest detective! An interest- bad, but nothing is amazing either, and fore, or at least the seemingly-paranor-
ing historical period! What’s not to a few minor things (do zombies really mal.
love? Could this possibly go wrong? The say “Kksssaaa?”) will irritate you Perhaps I have been too hard on
answer is a resounding “sort of.” throughout the book. these books; I certainly was entertained
The story in this comic is pretty Likewise, Fabbri’s art would be while reading them. I would love to try
much exactly what you would expect much better if expectations were differ- some of Edgniton’s and Fabbri’s other
given the aforementioned textbox. ent. He draws with a clean style and cre- works, but it’s difficult to recommend
Sherlock Holmes hears of mysterious ative pencil shading, and his characters these in particular. Money is tight these
living dead appearing in London, so he all have very expressive faces. However, days, especially for us college students,
and Watson investigate using deduction the style reminds me more of modern and there are plenty of comics more de-
and shoot the undead using pistols. comics than the art of the Victorian era. serving of your $2.99.
Edginton’s writing in this rather generic I think this comic would have been a lot
The Stony Brook Press Arts & Entertainment 21
Welcome, dear readers, to the greatest undertaking in mankind’s history: the Stony
Brook Press’ list of the best albums of the decade (years 2000-2009, in case you Katie Knowlton
don’t know what decade we could possibly be talking about). This project began
in the waning days of 2009 when hope, and opium, were permeating our minds. The Con-Tegan and Sara (2007)
Now we are sober and now we are ready. Many Press staffers contributed, naming The Con saw Tegan and Sara finally come into their own with a dense, brooding
their best and favorite albums of the Aughts. They were told to name no more than album of songs about relationships and heartbreak. They ditched the acoustic gui-
five. If a sixth album was submitted, they would be promptly slaughtered. Thank- tars in favor of synths and electric instrumentation, which complement their
fully, no one did this. Read on, and for the love of Jesus, don’t ask why Coldplay isn’t aching lyrics far better. The heavily layered songs invoke a sense of claustrophobia,
on the list. Listening to Coldplay is like kicking self-respect in the balls and leav- adding urgency and making it far more personal. Take note, this is how a pop
ing him to die on the cold hard pavement. Don’t do it. Anyway, read and enjoy, you record should be made.
little peons, and please argue amongst yourselves. –R.B.
The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me-Brand New (2006)
After two albums and a number of years being seen as a pop-punk, “emo” band,
Josh Ginsberg Brand New smashed any preconceptions about themselves. This record is a post-
rock explosion, unpredictable and very dark. Even after years of listening to it, I
still find new things on this album. It is both disturbing and incredibly beautiful,
Animal Collective- Feels, 2005 and proved that Brand New is far more than anyone imagined.
Feels opens with the sounds of children
laughing and what seems to be the sonic As The Roots Undo-Circle Takes The Square (2004)
rendition of a rising sun. Its guitars Circle Takes The Square made the term “screamo” okay again. As The Roots Undo
shudder, its out-of-tune pianos shim- is a musically and lyrically complex concept album about a person’s path to self-re-
mer and their harmony creates a world alization. The dual male-female screamed vocals evoke desperation, while the po-
wherein a hot summer night’s ennui is etic lyrics paint vivid images. The music is so far beyond standard hardcore, that
best embraced and a fragile climax it can be appreciated by anyone, even if it is really loud. Sadly overlooked, this
nurses angst to sleep. Avey Tare stands at album should be mandatory listening for every new band that tries to be remotely
the forefront of Feels, imploring listen- heavy.
ers to “take their shoes off and unwind.”
Between the uproarious, effervescent Sink or Swim-The Gaslight Anthem (2007)
jubilance of “Grass,” and “Purple Bottle,” the relaxed early-morning warmth of “Flesh The debut album from New Jersey punks The Gaslight Anthem was a breath of
Canoe” or the eerie-but-determined walk through mystic forest dew on “Loch Raven,” fresh air in an overcrowded genre. Equal parts Bruce Springsteen, the Clash and
Feels finds Animal Collective at both their most relaxed and exhilarating. Swingin’ Utters pop-punk, this album isn’t musically or lyrically a revelation, it is
just incredibly honest and raw. Almost anyone can relate to lead singer Brian Fal-
Joanna Newsom- The Milk-Eyed Mender, 2004 lon’s lyrics and the music brings instant nostalgia to better times. Punk doesn’t get
As Newsom suggests when she sings, “This is not my tune, but it’s mine to use” on “Sadie,” much better than this.
The Milk-Eyed Mender deeply mines American folk music. What sets Newsom apart from
her freak-folk peers (other than her shrill voice, which critics think dates Newsom as ei- Time (The Revelator)-Gillian Welch (2001)
ther an eight or eighty year old) is the brilliance of her harp playing, which constructs some Gillian Welch is one of the best modern country singer-songwriters, and this album
of the most melodically riveting bodies of music this reviewer has ever heard and displays is the pinnacle of her work. In the midst of a “roots” revival, Welch came out with
more pure musical chops than any musician has since Led Zep. Newsom stands head- a sparse beautifully honest record. Recorded live with only two guitars and two
and-shoulders above any of her folk peers with a lyrical body too boundless to begin to par- voices (the other is David Rawlings, her musical partner), Time (The Revelator)
aphrase in so short of a blurb. keeps in the great storyteller tradition; she writes wonderful lyrics layered over
subtle guitar parts. Welch’s style is timeless, and this album is the best example of
The Strokes- Is This It, 2001 that.
If artists like Animal Collective reinvented the guitar four years later, the Strokes reminded
the casual radio-listener of the early 00’s of all the great things, oft-neglected, that the gui-
tar had done before rap-metal. The Strokes wrote songs that never seemed stylized. Songs
that always evoked emotion but didn’t fall prey to the pitfall of seeming confessional. Boast-
ing eleven great songs and as many great guitar solos, Is This It proved that as long as there
are twenty-somethings who love Rock and Roll, it will never truly die.
Liz Kaempf
Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, at’s What I’m Not (2006)
In their debut album, the Arctic Monkeys presented their fast-paced, upbeat
British sound to the world. eir songs are packed with quippy one-liners that
amount to brilliant lyrics as a whole and punchy guitar sounds that vary between
humorous punk songs and heartfelt ballads.
Eric DiGiovanni
arts&entertainment
Lawrence Roytman and Josh Levy
I’d like to preface this list by making a simple statement: neither I nor Josh
are hip-hop experts. That is to say, we are not elitist, self-proclaimed hip-hop Nazis.
We are merely two average (preternaturally average if we’re discussing myself) hip-
hop enthusiasts who love the genre and despise Lil’ Wayne. This is not a list of de-
scending elitism or ascending douchebaggery—this is a list of five shimmering
needles within a haystack bogged down by overpowering and foul muck and mire.
This is a group of albums and artists that I, personally, hold dear to my heart be-
cause of their artistry and legitimacy and individuality and sincerity. The ‘OOs
were a tumultuous time in hip-hop where monetary gain and ephemeral pleasures
dominated, backed by over-produced, bass-tastic, tacky beats. I hope this lists gives
true hip-hop heads some sort of wistful pleasure.
Wolf Parade - Apologies to the Queen Mary(2005) Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix (2009)
Wolf Parade frontmen Spencer Krug and Dan Boeckner refused to abandon roots rock Four French men with a fourth album release and a Grammy. Everything about
sensibilities in favor of any sort of hipster credit on Apologies to the Queen Mary. An apol- Phoenix and Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix bursted in the states with huge momen-
ogy strictly in the Platonic sense, this is a rock album. A crippling blow of a rock album tum. In an age where electronic “beep beep boop” autotune music rules the air-
from a decidedly unfathomable band – the soul of Wolf parade lies somewhere between waves, Phoenix brought back all that was right with rock music: clear vocals, catchy
thrashing guitar rock and cold, keyboard-driven punches to the jugular. An album of the choruses, and great song progression. Released so late in the decade, the single
wilderness, recalling the smell salted air, the image a white froth bubbling under the clash “Lizstomania” has already been on several TV shows and “1901” has been featured
of waves against a rocky Canadian coast; chilling and wild to its last thudding drops. on a car commercial. Beyond the corporate whoring of this album, Phoenix have
proven themselves a staple in the US music scene.
Deerhunter - Mircocastle(2008)
Catchy, reverb-laden guitar rock wasn’t necessarily seen as the future of music when Deer- Daft Punk - Discovery (2001)
hunter released Microcastle, their best album to date, in 2008. Biting and comprehensible Stories can be told in all different ways, but never has a story been told through so
– especially for an album so equivocal to sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool – Brad- much great House music. Daft Punk’s Discovery was intended as a soundtrack to
ford Cox and co. showed all that punchy, riff driven anthems didn’t have to hide behind the anime movie Interstella 5555, but holds it’s own as a cohesive and accessible
mountains of gain or British accents. They could be lulling and beautiful too. Every song on album. From beginning to end the album provides unique beats while keeping
the album is endearing to the point that one must wonder how such catchy chord progres- the listener engaged to what’s going on (despite the repetitive sound for four min-
sions and melodies weren’t thought of before. Well, maybe they were, but it doesn’t matter; utes). Even without the visual aid of the anime film, Discovery proves to be story
Deerhunter played them better. telling through sound.
Clues - Clues(2009)
Certainly not a popular album, in fact Clues was not even a generally well received one, but
we all give in to the idiosyncrasies of our own tastes, and this is exactly what Clues repre-
sents: niche music that willingly sacrifices mass appeal for the chance to be adored unfath-
omably by a few. Sounding like an album wizards might have made, Clues holds its listeners
by a delicate hand; lulling vocals turn into shrill operatic falsetto, soft guitar strokes turn
into nearly atonal riffs over absurdist chord progressions. Clues is a perfectly executed album
– one that sounds like Harry Potter putting the boots to someone.
Radiohead - In Rainbows(2007)
A proverbial mosaic of everything the members of Radiohead had been building on for
the 15 years prior to its 2007 release, In Rainbows is describable by so many means – from
so many genre directions is this a fantastic album – that it is perhaps best to just say that it
is a collection of ten fantastic, contrasting songs. It beats out OK Computer in that the songs
don’t succumb to one overarching sound. In Rainbows shoots off in every direction, with
guitars, with samples, with orchestral maneuvers – Radiohead will be hard pressed to fol-
low this one up.
ruthless verbal word smith to have stepped goin back/ I kept shootin, one shot caught a cop dead in his top/ The other pig
Hip Hop continued from previous page
out of Harlem. He was the most talented ducked behind a big truck/ I was bleedin real bad, and couldn’t stop it/ but still had
rapper out on the scene in the 90s and he spewed some of the harshest, most mem- the fifty thou’ profit in my pockets.’
orable hip-hop lines ever uttered by a human mouth. In fact, he was once said to
have gone to hell for snuffin’ Jesus (the lord, not the Spanish dude who you buy Honorable mentions that The Press wouldn’t give page space to:
bud off of) but he was forcefully booted from hell because he was too uncouth for Sage Francis - Personal Journals
Lucifer. Nowadays, everybody’s top emcee list consists of Jay-Z or Eminem or Big- AZ - A.W.O.L.
gie or Pac but all of those people listened to and respected and even idolized Big L. Prolyphic & Reanimator - The Ugly Truth
Back on topic: The Big Picture was L’s first posthumous album and it’s as much an Daylaborers - The Learning Process
emblem of triumph as it is a reminder of tragedy. L’s rhymes are so fluid and sharp Masta Ace - Disposable Arts
that this album should have been named Liquid Swords based purely on what’s of- Immortal Technique - Revolutionary Vol.2
fered here. L is so nasty that beats don’t even factor into the equation on this album, Method Man - 4:21
although they are truly classical in terms of simplicity and production, but it is a Jedi Mind Tricks - Servants in Heaven, Kings in Hell
great bonus that they are, for the most part, excellent. This album offers more than Non-Prophets - Hope
my petty words could ever hope to encapsulate, but real hip-hop and Big L are syn- Copywrite - The High Exalted
onymous. BIG L R.I.P. ‘The hospital’s up, a couple of blocks, I’m on my way 7L & Esoteric - Dangerous Connection
but/ damn, here comes a couple of cops; I pulled out/ and started blowin they INI - Center of Attention
started blowin back I’m goin all out/ I ain’t holdin back, I been to jail once and I ain’t Aesop Rock - Float
26 Vol. XXXI, Issue 8 | Wednesday, February 10, 2010
arts&entertainment
Kelly Pivarnik
Turn on the Bright Lights (2002)- Interpol
Before the lead singer of Interpol went off to do a side-project and became a hip-
ster douchebag, Interpol was a very promising band that could create great at-
mosphere. Turn on the Bright Lights is a solid testimony to that. Given that this
album was several years in the making, it almost reaches perfect. With strong base
and heavy melodies, Interpol makes the poetic lyrics beautiful, and creates a very
cohesive, strong record.
Metric – Live It Out Person Pitch (Panda Bear): 2007’s Person Pitch, a solo effort by Animal Collective
I’m a sucker for beautiful female voices and synthesizers, which means I’m madly co-frontman Panda Bear, is a wild and glorious march through past, present, and
in love with Emily Haines and Metric. Live It Out is their best album (although future. Panda Bear draws samples from Cat Stevens, the Tornadoes, Scott Walker
they’re all pretty great). Great lyrics and catchy tunes, ‘nuff said. “I fought the war, and numerous other musicians to create an utterly unique and completely new
and the war won’t stop for the love of god.” They were anti-war when it was still soundscape. “Comfy in Nautica” is your anthem, your roaring march towards that
considered liberal to be anti-war. Before Barack Obama took office. Fuck that guy. gamboges horizon. And “Bros,” at 12 minutes and 30 seconds, is your epic trek
through whirling forests, laughing waters, and the underlying angst that nostalgia
Evangelicals – The Evening Descends always brings.
Listening to this album is like aurally watching a B-Horror movie, in a totally good
way.
Fin
Don’t see an album on the list you
think deserved to be? Email all
hate mail to:
editors@sbpress.com
28 Technology Sandwich Vol. XXXI, Issue 8 | Wednesday, February 10, 2010
JawBone II: Because Great Things two buttons that lie within. The curves you some presets, but there is no real the only time anyone has ever really
Can Be Improved Upon of the Jawbone are angled in a way that control for that other than cycling complained about not hearing me is
Form and function are the two war- actuating one button dos not interfere through the profiles until you can hear when I didn’t use it or my phone was
ring components in any design. Some- with the other one. Impressive. Then I the person at the desired level. I per- losing signal.
times manufacturers choose to stress took the USB charge cable and plugged sonally used my cell phone’s volume, Their website is full of all sorts of
one over there other. If form wins out it into the Jawbone. Magnets grabbed which is on the outside of the case. goodies and what not. You can pur-
and you get something like the iBook— hold fast and held the device firmly in Holding down the talk button for a few chase any accessory you need easily.
beautiful in design, but the class action place. A few seconds later, I marveled seconds allows you to do voice dialing. They have a USA and UK number, with
law suit spoke for itself. If functionality at another design touch and called my However, it should be noted that a bit of extensive hours of operation so that you
wins out, you get something like the old brother over. I found the LED indica- force is needed to press the buttons, don’t have to call in during work to get
military-styled Panasonic Tough- tor, which was under the apparently meaning that you may be putting help, as well as a US address listed on
books—not much to look at, but if it translucent outer shell. Everything was painful pressure on your ear after a full the site. Email is always an option. Ac-
breaks, it was probably because a rocket there, just artfully hidden. Coupled day of constant calling. I actually cording to some less-than-reputable
propelled grenade hit it. However, art with a leather or plastic earpiece, you started to slightly remove the head- websites and resellers, you can get Aliph
is when you get something that excels at are stylin’. phone from my ear in order to pick up to fix your Jawbone II for free, just by
both form and function. To that end, I The Jawbone II comes in very chic and hang up calls and turn it on before sending it in. This company seems to
give you Exhibit A: the Aliph Jawbone packing. You could probably just not putting it to my ear. Aliph does ship a honor the warranty they promise you,
II, my five star, highly recommended open the box and put it on a shelf to few earpieces to make life more com- without any real hassle or haggle. This
choice for a Bluetooth headset. How stare at, fortable, so find the right one for you. shows that the company has intense
much do I recommend it? I actually Thus far, this is all pretty standard fare faith in their product, despite the in-
went out and bought my own. for a Bluetooth headset, so let’s talk tense circuitry. This is a good sign, es-
We can’t move forward without about what raises the Jawbone from a pecially for those who have paid almost
looking back at the past. When the stylish, overpriced average earphone $130 (MSRP). The Jawbone comes with
Original Aliph Jawbone hit the to a great one—the NoiseAssassin. a two-year warranty, standard.
market, the design by Yves Behar The wicked cool feature with Quality does not come without a
made it to the San Francisco the wicked cool name, the cost. Despite a high price tag, there is
Museum of Modern Art. In- NoiseAssassin works by picking nothing better on the market; therefore,
side that beautiful, perforated up the vibrations on your face I can’t knock it. You get what you pay
exterior, there was military- when you talk, with what looks to for. My hopes for the Jawbone III are
based noise cancellation hard- be fiber optics, allowing it to multiple profiles so I can use it on my
ware. However, there were know what noise to filter out and Pocket PC, my cell phone and my lap-
problems. It was big and there what to keep. You turn it on by top without reconnecting. I also hope
were a few complaints on voice holding down the Talk button for a that the buttons are easier to press in fu-
quality with the patented NoiseAssas- second in call. The result is that in a ture models, possibly even touch sensi-
sin. Well, out came the Jawbone II. noisy environment, the other side can tive capacitor pads (like the iPod scroll
First, I have to say that Aliph listened to but hear you. In calls, going on the subway, wheel). The jawbone comes in three
its customers’ critiques about the origi- the fun is in construction sites, standing by my colors: black, gold and sliver.
nal’s size and also made the reincarna- in using it. You get a case, a USB car with its broken muffler, even play- Who is it for: Anyone who works in
tion surpass beautiful—they made it charger with a wall adapter, four loops, ing loud music, the other side actually a noisy or semi-noisy environment,
sexy. Secondly, whatever issues the three ear buds, a case to hold all the heard me well. It was great. It was like anyone who wants the best or anyone
public had with the NoiseAssassin were goodies, and the manuals. Everything the being in another, quiet room, all by who can afford it. Who should pass—if
solved. looks professional and feels like quality. myself. What really got my attention a regular headset works great for you,
When you look at the beveled tex- The Jawbone manual is short and with this feature is the fact that people don’t bother unless you’re already itch-
ture of this new Jawbone, it has this aura easy to read. Actually, operation of the heard me better even if there was no am- ing to upgrade.
of class to it. When I opened it up, I had headset is pretty much “Press” or “Press, bient noise around. It makes sense, sure, Fun Fact: Jawbone will give you $20
to force myself to look beyond, “Wow, hold, and wait.” The headphone gives but the fact that I turned it on, and the towards your purchase price if you get
that’s beautiful.” There were no visible you audible notification when some- other side immediately took notice— busted for breaking the Hands Free
buttons or lights or anything to indicate thing changes, as well as visible ones enough to comment on it—meant that Law. Just enter your ticket number.
moving parts. Then I touched it, and with the bi-color Red/White LED. The this feature was very mature. I spent How nice!
saw some genius in the design. The volume is something that people adjust two weeks making calls, doing business,
one-piece outer shell is able to actuate on the earphone, and Jawbone does give and having fun with this headset, and http://us.jawbone.com/
The Stony Brook Press Technology Sandwich 29
IO Gear Mobile Digital Scribe: The installation CD, then, if you desire, run and use it as a magic wand. charge. This is good news for you slack-
Mightiest Pen of Them All the MyScript, then plug in the receiver. When writing on paper, there is ers, as it will be ready to go when you
Today we’re looking at the IO Gear No restarting necessary. One thing to only one button to control the receiver. are.
Mobile Digital Scribe. Boring intro, I note, the user manual isn’t accessible Maybe this was a ploy to save money? I Its small, pocketable size makes it
know, and I know what you’re going to from the CD—it’s in the program folder don’t know. Anyways, hold a few sec- almost perfect for every day carry. I
say: “it’s just one of those overpriced after you run the CD and install the onds to turn it on, press it to change the mean, the receiver is about the size of a
doodad pens that you have to buy the data. Slight bummer: I mean, what, you page, hold a few seconds to turn it off. pack of gum, while the pen is...well, it’s
special paper and you can only do cer- can’t fit a 1.6Mb file on a CD? Also, it The quality of the transcriptions were almost regular pen sized. This is very
tain things with and in the end is just a does not include a copy of Adobe Acro- actually pretty good. I was surprised. nice compared to the other transcriber
pen, right?” Right? No, sit down and bat Reader, so you need to have that on When you plugged it into the computer, pens out there that look like Sharpies on
shut up so I can teach you something. your system. Funny that they don’t have it can be set to automatically download steroids. The up side is that no one will
Not so boring of an intro now, is it, something that is essential in the system the notes you have, and gives you an op- steal it due to it looking like something
smarty pants!? requirements but they do have Internet tion to clear the 50 -age capacity inter- of value. The only down side to the
Actually, I may have spoken too Explorer. When you plug in your re- nal memory. Sweet deal. look is that, if not for the waves at the
soon. Price-wise, this pen MSRPs at ceiver to your USB port, you can see it A nice thing about the software is, if end, you can lose it in a pile of pens
$130. However, if you don’t need a start charging the receiver’s battery. It it is plugged in, as soon as you are ready quite quickly and easily. In other
“mobile” version, and don’t mind being takes 3.5 hours to fully charge it. The to jot down something, it opens up a words—don’t share it with classmates,
tethered to your laptop, you can shop good news is that you can play with it notepad for you. However, gone is the friends, or associates, or you may never
online and find its “little” older brother from the get go, as long as you have it amazing quality of capture that it previ- see it again due to “its just a pen” men-
on a leash for as low as $44 online. Ap- plugged in to fully charge that battery. ously portrayed. If you write on college tality.
parently, IO Gear dropped the ball on On to the good stuff. To get the pen ruled paper, you can forget about using It gets a solid 8. I want to give it
marketing this thing, and it’s a shame to do ANYTHING on the computer, standard lower case- it didn’t pick up higher, but there’s lots of room for im-
because you actually get something that you must first run the IOGear software. MOST of the writing. It looked like my provements, like pressure levels, soft-
is for students, professors, lawyers— Of course, I jumped right into mouse signature versus my real name. I could- ware gripes, additional pen comfort,
heck—anyone who jots stuff down and mode. I even edited the text of this re- n’t understand it because it did such a and the need for a tilt sensor. I can’t give
then needs to put it down on the com- view with it. It really is like using a good job when it wasn’t plugged in. I it lower because it really is a 9 worthy
puter, especially if the computer is not tablet PC...except it isn’t calibrated to figured out the first major flaw with the effort compared to everything else on
handy, convenient or appropriate. Like the screen (yes, I tried) It is, however, pen. the market. IO Gear has made a device
in a board room meeting. very accurate—even more so than my What it needs is a tilt sensor. I say that stands out among the crowd of de-
Opening the box, you get the sense Gyration mice in the air. In my fun, I that because we as people write at an vices that are like it, and also melds into
of a decent quality item. You get a also think I figured out how it works. angle that changes. This happens as we the crowd of things it emulates. You can
nice—albeit heavy paper box with foam Much like the Wii-mote, it must have an tend to write with our three fingers sup- ditch the laptop and just take this to
cut outs for your pen. The quick install IR LED at the transmitter and uses the porting the tip, with the pen resting on class. If IOGear just puts a little more
guide, which is in large, trilingual, fold- size of the IR beam to figure out its dis- or near the soft spot between you R&D into this thing, Wacom could be
out form, is also made out of a similar tance form the transmitter. A simple al- thumb and pointer finger. The closer in trouble. Wacom, you have been
high-quality heavy weight paper. A nice gorithm, probably using a polar the letter comes to us, we use our fin- warned!
touch to it is that each language is sep- coordinate translation, and you’ve got gers to give our wrists a break, chang- Almost everyone who has to write
arated to their own side, so there is little yourself a projected rectangular plane ing the angle. Sadly, this thing only sees something down that later needs to be
confusion. I looked around for any- out of the wide angle semi circle. Don’t changes from the IR transmitter, that is reproduced or transcribed to PC. Also
thing hinting that this was made from worry yourself if you didn’t understand about .3/8” higher than the tip of the good for impressing that one girl in
post-consumer waste, but no; trees died that the first time around. However, pen, which is enough to dampen the your computer class—you know, the
to make them possible. However, the what that means is that it’s only pro- strokes with fine loops and what not in one who thinks you are a creep.
deforestation ends there, as the manual grammed it to work on a 2D plane. e’s w’s, and other letters if you write Bad for
is on the CD. You get an installation When you raise the pen higher, even at small enough. I cannot recommend People who write small.
CD and the OCR MyScript. the same point on that plane, it sees the this pen for people who write small AT
My only gripe with the quick install LED grow smaller, moves the mouse ALL. The resolution can’t cut it. You
guide is that in their efforts to make down, as if you were moving it back- will get a squiggly line.
everything fit on one side, the type be- wards. How does this matter to you, the In long-term testing, the mobile re-
comes almost too small, so prepare for user? In mouse mode, just keep the pen ceiver seems to be holding up pretty
some squinting. Other than that, every- decently close to the same plane as the well. Almost 2 weeks later and the in-
thing is straight forward. First, run the receiver and you will be fine. Don’t try ternal battery is holding almost a full
30 Comics & Games Vol. XXXI, Issue 8 | Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Stony Brook Press Comics & Games 31
As Seen On
34 Opinion Vol. XXXI, Issue 8 | Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Why Professional Wrestling Sucks
today is how the fans have become con- how to manipulate the crowd to emo- “proper behavior.”
ditioned to certain things, so it is at the tionally invest themselves into the prod- Every punch, every slap, every steel
By Nick Matthews
point where nothing is a surprise. It uct. All of that is extremely important, chair shot would mean so much more if
(A Professional Wrestler)
seems like every other week, there is an but actual wrestling ability has been it did not happen every other match. All
Since I graduated high school, I announcer screaming “This is personal! completely abandoned, or at least taken of these tools that wrestlers used to be
have been wrestling professionally on a This isn’t about winning. This isn’t a distant backseat. able to use to sell a match or add inten-
part-time basis. While that does not about championships. This is personal!” Years ago, professional wrestlers sity to a rivalry have become common-
mean I know everything about Well, “This is absurd!” Every match needed to know how to wrestle and place, and are no longer applicable.
wrestling, or anything going on behind cannot be personal. You’ll hear them work. Most professional wrestlers were WWE doesn’t even allow blood
the scenes of World Wrestling Enter- say, “This isn’t gonna be a wrestling amateur wrestlers who learned to work. anymore. Blood is just another tool that
tainment, it does mean that I know match. This is gonna be a brawl!” Well, Today, there are more professional can be used to help the crowd get emo-
what it is like to present the product of I can’t remember the last time I saw a wrestlers with gymnastics or body- tionally connected, and even that has
professional wrestling. It also has al- wrestling match. A proper wrestling building backgrounds than there are been taken away now. Anytime some-
lowed me to further understand why match would not have closed fist with wrestling backgrounds. one begins to bleed, the match is
professional wrestling sucks so much punches, acrobat flips, or steel chairs. Furthermore, if wrestlers started stopped to clean the blood off immedi-
today. If you present people with wrestling throwing some legitimate wrestling into ately, because WWE carries a PG rating
Why does professional wrestling matches week in and week out, then their work, other matches would just now, and blood is too barbaric and
suck? Well, first of all, most people when one wrestler punches another, it look more phony. Today’s wrestlers may gruesome for the kiddies. There are a
haven’t even gotten this far in the article would actually mean something. A steel actually have real wrestling ability for all lot of things that are more gruesome
because they don’t really care about chair shot would be a vicious, brutal act. I know, but they would rather use fake than blood in WWE (remember, Chyna
wrestling. The reason wrestling shifted You can’t have that effect if someone punches and back flips. was once employed there).
from pure sport to part sport/part spec- Today, a typical wrestling show
tacle was to make more money, and you consists of talking, several pathetic at-
can’t make money if people don’t care. tempts at comedy, and a few five-
This is something that many people do minute matches somewhere in between.
not understand. Wrestling’s primary Five minutes of talking can get the
objective is to make money. crowd involved, but it is impossible for
How do you do that? Well it cer- fans to truly buy into a match if it is only
tainly is not by having a three hour five minutes long. By the time they just
wrestling show with just over 20 min- start to get excited, the match is over.
utes of wrestling, using valuable televi- A wrestling match is supposed to
sion time to show female wrestlers tell a story, and you need a lot more
playing strip poker when we all know time to tell a good story. I understand
we’re not gonna get to see anything, or that times have changed, and not every-
having Hornswoggle (4ft. 4 in, 130 lbs) body has the same appreciation for
jump on The Big Show (7 ft. 500lbs), wrestling that I do. If you showed a clas-
and The Big Show actually appear to be sic 60-minute Dory Funk and Jack
hurt! Brisco championship match from the
Wrestling needs to be able to sus- 1970’s today, people would be snoring.
pend people’s disbelief. Make people But most people just don’t watch today’s
believe what they are watching is real. wrestling at all. There is a middle
Provide a consistent, compelling televi- ground, and that is where wrestling is at
sion product that will properly build to its best.
the next pay-per-view. Sell out arenas Wrestling is as close to extinction
and sell out pay-per-views. That’s how Come on, ride the train. Hey, ride it. Wooh wooh! today as it ever has been. Many people
you make money. That’s how you can would suggest it already is extinct be-
make wrestling not suck. cause there is barely any actual
As a professional wrestler, I deal gets hit with a steel chair twenty times, I was actually confronted by one of wrestling on television anymore. WWE
with inhuman amounts of pain, and I then comes back a week later in perfect the main event wrestlers on a show I is the biggest wrestling company in the
risk my well-being whenever I wrestle. I condition. wrestled on, and he told me to utilize United States, but they are just an en-
know damn well that every time I walk I understand professional wrestling less real wrestling moves and sequences tertainment company with wrestling as
out to the ring there is a chance I will companies make money through mer- in my match because it would make his a backdrop.
not be able to walk back. I tell people I chandising as well, so they focus on the match look ridiculous. There used to be wrestling territo-
do it because I love it, and have an larger than life personalities just as His match was filled with fake ries all around the country. WWE was
undying passion for it, which is the ab- much as wrestling. The outrageous per- punches and fake stomps because he only in the northeast. If a wrestler did
solute truth. sonalities are entertaining, and make doesn’t know how to wrestle. I replied, not make it there, they could go else-
However, the wrestling that I love is money, but why can’t they keep the per- “Are you kidding me? Are you seriously where. When Vince McMahon took
rarely seen today. When people ask why sonalities, and improve the wrestling? telling me, a wrestler, to cut back on over WWE in the 1980’s, he brought it
I love wrestling, I have to pull out old Because many of the current profes- wrestling? I’ve learned to work. Why worldwide, put the other territorial pro-
DVDs. If someone sat down to watch an sional wrestlers would not be able to don’t you learn to wrestle?” Although, motions out of business, and created a
episode of Total Nonstop Action Impact keep up. admittedly, I used much more colorful monopoly.
or Monday Night Raw (if they can make Professional wrestling is not about language in the actual confrontation. I Now, there are much fewer success-
it through the whole thing), they will wrestling anymore. It is about working. also have conveniently not been asked ful wrestlers, because there are fewer
think I’m a lunatic for having the pas- Learning to “work” means learning how to wrestle for that particular organiza- places to be successful. There is less va-
sion I do. to do moves without injuring anyone, tion since. I guess cursing out the main riety, and the only competition, TNA, is
The biggest problem with wrestling how to protect yourself from injury, and event wrestlers is not considered nowhere near as successful as WWE,
38 Sports Vol. XXXI, Issue 8 | Wednesday, February 10, 2010
and is pretty much providing the same abysmal. TNA provides an absolutely watchable as WWE. TNA officials have farewell night. The buildup, the match,
crap, just on a lower level. disgraceful show that I would be been saying it’s time to build up new, and the farewell culminated in one of
In a couple of months, TNA will ac- ashamed to show anyone. I would young stars for a while now, but the the most beautiful and emotional things
tually be going head-to-head with rather pay to watch Andre The Giant TNA locker room currently has more I have ever seen.
WWE on Monday nights. That is like try and squeeze into a low rider than a colostomy bags than gym bags. I am a professional wrestler. I know
Rosie O’Donnell challenging Dick Ch- TNA pay per view. You would have to Great moments or matches are few wrestling inside and out, and I believed
eney’s fitness company. pay me. and far between now. They do still Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair. I was on
Since WWE and TNA are the only TNA is trying to bring wrestling occur, but so many people have tuned the edge of my seat during that match,
shows in town, all of professional back to the success it had over a decade out by that point that no one sees them. and most of you would be too.
wrestling is what they dictate, and they ago. However, instead of doing this with At Wrestlemania 24, Shawn Michaels Wrestling can only be successful if peo-
dictate complete garbage. If you want to fresh faces, they brought back a bunch faced Ric Flair in a classic bout. When I ple become emotionally invested into
see toilet humor, midgets running in of old, washed up wrestlers who were saw this match, I was just a wrestling the product, and that will not happen
circles, girls prancing around in their popular when I was starting kinder- fan, and looked at wrestling as nothing with midgets, celebrities who have as
underwear, and a bunch of big guys garten. So now, TNA’s roster has more more than a pastime. This match single- much wrestling knowledge as my cat, or
yelling at each other, don’t watch WWE. useless old people than a Wednesday handedly made me want to be a profes- bikini models posing as wrestlers. It will
Just come over to my place. night bingo game. sional wrestler. This match sparked the happen when we see more wrestlers like
As far as TNA is concerned, their TNA advertises themselves as a passion that has now consumed my life. Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair, and more
seventh anniversary pay-per-view last wrestling alternative, but the only real The match was a retirement match, matches like their Wrestlemania 24
year, known as Slammiversary, was only difference is that they don’t have a PG and when Ric Flair lost, he was forced classic.
bought by 7,000 people. That is rating. However, TNA is just as un- to retire. The next night he had his
The Stony Brook Press Sports 39