Professional Documents
Culture Documents
&
Other Sonnets
Halvard Johnson
chalk editions
2010
text © copyright 2010 Halvard Johnson
cover © copyright 2010 Jukka-Pekka Kervinen
http://chalkeditions.co.cc
For Lynda
2
Table of Contents
Maglev Sonnet / 11
Revolutionary Sonnet / 12
Sonnet Zork / 13
Pestilential Sonnet / 14
Unavailable Light / 15
Sonnet: Twilight in Turkey / 16
Sonnet: Portrait (in Photo Captions) of Chaim Soutine / 17
Elegy Just in Case / 18
The Jinx Is On / 19
Emergency / 20
Short Story Sonnet / 21
Sonnet: Lento e deserto / 22
Political Sonnet / 23
Amnesiac / 24
The Sky Called “Despair” / 25
Sonnet: Hard Trills / 26
Due Diligence Sonnet (Downsized Version) / 27
Some Save Themselves / 28
News of the Day / 29
Inviolate Obituary / 30
What’s Up / 31
Toxic Assets Sonnet / 32
Sonnet: Snowdrop / 33
Sonnet: The Defiant Asking of Questions in the Face of Permanent Ontological Uncertainty / 34
Postmodern Financial Crisis Sonnet / 35
Angst No Prerequisite / 36
Best Possible Light / 37
3
Sonnet: Time to Seek Help / 38
Morning Sonnet / 39
Sonnet: Turkmenian Nights / 40
Unseasonable Facsimiles / 41
Bloodbath Sonnet / 42
Sonnet: My Dog Sunyata / 43
Avoir Besoin De / 44
Sonnet: What American Voters Want / 45
A Lone Gunman Is Dead / 46
Cheeseburger Sonnet / 47
Sonnet: Long Drives in the Country / 48
Sonnet: Your Emergency Preparedness Kit / 49
Sonnet: Afflictions of Writers / 50
Outlying / 51
Hotel Aquí / 52
His Nonchalance / 53
Sonneto Incognito / 54
Urban Sonnet / 55
Wavelength / 56
Sonnet: Younger Poets / 57
Horse Led to Slaughter / 58
Sonnet: Sudden Hailstorms / 59
Sonnet: Milwaukee, City of Rumors / 60
Retrospective Sonnet / 61
Sonnet: Whimsical Children / 62
Sonnet: Permission Denied / 63
Sonnet: They Call the Wind Sudoku / 64
Calling All Lexicographers / 65
Axiomatic Sonnet / 66
Sonnet: Body Under a Running Stream / 67
Late Arrivals / 68
4
Just to Say / 69
“Dark Peruvian Forces” / 70
GWOT Sonnet / 71
Jeffersonian Melodramas / 72
Morphine Wreckage / 73
Today the President Ate Lunch / 74
Northland Graves / 75
Adventures on the Hippocampus / 76
Night Letter / 77
Sonnet: Far Afield / 78
5
Sonnet: Autonomous Retreat / 106
Sonnet Cycle / 107
Pastorale / 108
Sonnet: Surprisingly, Vertical Industry / 109
Sonnet: I Think Continually / 110
Sonetto: Buona Fortuna / 111
Sonnet: The Light Within / 112
Sonnet: Democracy in the News / 113
Sonnet: It’s Better to Turn on the TV / 114
Double-sonnet: Methane / 115
Sonnet: Democracy Red in Tooth and Claw / 117
Sonnet: Benign Virus Appears to Block Bush Strategy / 118
On the Hustings with George: Two Sonnets and Part of Another / 119
Sonnet Written in the Light of Fiscal Realities / 122
Slow Curve / 123
In the East Room / 124
Sonnet: Getting on with Our Lives / 125
Double-sonnet: A Test of Wills / 126
Mini-sonnet: For the Families / 128
III
6
Stipulations / 139
Found Sonnet: On Red / 140
Tango Bouquet / 141
Bachiana / 142
How Pink Was My Monkey? / 143
Sonnet: Climate Control / 144
Sometimes a Penis . . . / 145
Landscape Near a Landfill / 146
Autumnal Sonnet / 147
Death Panel Sonnet / 148
Sonnet: This Music Does Not Mean / 149
Superbot Sonnet / 150
Sonnet: Nothing As Yet To Report / 151
Miracles Sonnet / 152
Seven Years Later / 153
Sonnet (Italian Style), in English and Vietnamese / 154
The G-Rated Sonnet / 156
Lost Methodologies / 157
Kitchen Sonnet / 158
Sonnet for the New Year / 159
Sonnet: In Fine Fettled Sleep / 160
Trading Meaningful Glances / 161
Autonomous Retreat / 162
Sonnet: Restraint in G Minor / 163
Found Sonnet: This Document Contains No Data / 164
Sonnet: Aro(here)und / 165
Sonnet: Religion in America / 166
(Com)promised Land / 167
Arsenal / 168
Sonnet for the Criminally Insane / 169
Final Deprivations / 170
7
At the Treeline / 171
Sonnet in Elliptical Orbits / 172
Sonnet: Norwegian Moods / 173
Say No More / 174
Sentimental Sonnet / 175
Local News / 176
A Brave Story / 177
Sonnet: Unspecified Horrors / 178
Sonnet: Faith-based Initiative / 179
“Your Eyes Stray” / 180
With No Known Regrets / 181
Another Long, Sad Story / 182
Time to Seek Help / 183
To This Day / 184
Afternoon Sonnet / 185
Sonnet: Clouds of Knowing and Unknowing / 186
Barn, Slope, Tree / 187
Sonnet: Sellinger’s Round / 188
Sonnet: Cruel Remainders / 189
Musikalabend / 190
Sonnet: Calm Headlands / 191
Some More Anthropology / 192
4 Subprime-Mortgage Sonnets / 193
Dialogue Sonnet / 195
Sonnet: Backward Glances / 196
Sonnet Kit CXLVII / 197
Saga Sonnet / 198
Etiolation Sonnet / 199
Neural Loops: or, The Ascension of Osama bin Laden / 200
Sonnet: Unpacking My Toothbrush / 201
Sonnet: La Malcontenta / 202
8
Sonnet bureaucratique / 203
Sonnet: Much Better Now Thanks / 204
A Little Story / 205
Sonnet: The Perfection of Mozart’s Third Eye / 206
Spam Sonnet / 207
Boolean Nights Sonnet / 208
Sonnet / 209
Sonnet: Your Lips Soft as Lard / 210
Sonnet / 211
Sonnet: Gracing Light / 212
Sonnet: Karachi Dawn / 213
Romantic Sonnet / 214
Suspicious Car / 215
Raymond Chandler Sonnet / 216
Sonnet: Tropical Forest with Monkeys / 217
Sonnet: On the Way to Gare St. Lazare / 218
IV Appendix
9
I
10
Maglev Sonnet
11
Revolutionary Sonnet
12
Sonnet Zork
13
Pestilential Sonnet
14
Unavailable Light
15
Sonnet: Twilight in Turkey
Hey, is that thing running? Yeah. Turn it off. Okay, it’s off now.
Okay, where was I? You were about to say something about influence.
Oh, yes. All right then. I remember once taking this hovercraft
from Hong Kong to Macao. You know, just going over there to spend
a few hours at the tables. The hovercraft had the feel of an airplane
taxiing along a long, very long, runway but never lifting off. Many
writers were aboard. I don’t know why. Near the far rail the poet
John Ashbery was deeply in conversation with Gertrude Stein,
who, for some reason or other, was seated in a wheelchair that had
been pushed aboard by Alice B. Toklas, her constant companion.
Basket had been unleashed and ran freely around the deck, making
a pest of himself. Can we talk about music? Not now. Not ever,
in fact. But isn’t that Harold Bloom sitting over there, pondering
influence and all its imponderables? No, I think it’s Stuart Davis.
16
Sonnet: Portrait (in Photo Captions) of Chaim Soutine
on the second floor and Henry Miller lived on the floor above him.
Soutine, in a relaxed mood, with his cigarette and a glass of milk.
17
Elegy Just in Case
18
The Jinx Is On
19
Emergency
One cup of green tea has no sugar, sodium, or fat, and roughly
one half to one third the caffeine of coffee, emergency teams
responding to terrorist attacks have found. Extraordinary
measures require extraordinary powers, all potentates agree.
20
Short Story Sonnet
took him, ran off his “boys,” and began to make clear their
demands. Late one night, a chest-high mud wall providing him
some cover, he made good an escape into South Africa, where,
meeting a wandering troupe of American evangelicals, he came
at last to find Jesus. Back in the “world,” as Americans called it,
he blissed out in Brooklyn, shoelaces tied and ready for Heaven.
21
Sonnet: Lento e deserto
Lopped heads keep their crowns above water, suitable for eating
abandoned songs. Aphotic members of the family read riot acts
to Sousa marches. Reservists razz dentists wielding drill instructors
Birth parents watch idly as their children vanish into young adulthood.
Whimsy, having no immediately obvious right to exist, seeks out those
of similar dispositions. E pluribus unum—a dream once dreamt.
22
Political Sonnet
23
Amnesiac
24
The Sky Called “Despair”
Trucks arrive with their loads of sand and alabaster, slipping back
toward the first page of the newspaper’s style section, publicly
embarrassed by our thirst, our fits of spite and anger.
And (oh, yes—thank you for the reminder) let’s not forget our deep-
space, extra-terrestrial probes, just returned to Cape Carnivoral
after many years—addressee unknown, returned to sender.
25
Sonnet: Hard Trills
26
Due Diligence Sonnet (Downsized Version)
and other trochees, or, as some call them, chorees. The government,
an antibacchius to be sure, came riding to the rescue. Blue-ribbon
commissions sought out underlying fundamentals (primus and
27
Some Save Themselves
28
News of the Day
29
Inviolate Obituary
30
What’s Up
31
Toxic Assets Sonnet
32
Sonnet: Snowdrop
33
Sonnet: The Defiant Asking of Questions in the Face of Permanent Ontological Uncertainty
will know that it’s us and not some other “me” who might
have placed that phone call or rung that buzzer,
are surprised, if not agitated, when the answerer up
34
Postmodern Financial Crisis Sonnet
35
Angst No Prerequisite
36
Best Possible Light
37
Sonnet: Time to Seek Help
38
Morning Sonnet
39
Sonnet: Turkmenian Nights
40
Unseasonable Facsimiles
41
Bloodbath Sonnet
New list to draw up: Top Ten Bloodbaths of All Time. Rwanda,
yes. Only machetes used that time. The Holocaust, yes. WWI, yes.
Mustard gas, yes. Hiroshima, yes. Nagasaki, yes. Bosnia, yes. Cam-
bodia, yes. Amer-Indians, yes. Darfur and Congo, yes, yes, yes.
42
Sonnet: My Dog Sunyata
43
Avoir Besoin De
44
Sonnet: What American Voters Want
45
A Lone Gunman Is Dead
46
Cheeseburger Sonnet
47
Sonnet: Long Drives in the Country
Others spent their days down there hanging around with some
of those malinchistas, while we took long drives in the campo.
That very same week, she began crawling to the law, begging
for mercy even before any charges against her had been lodged.
Abu Dhabi, needless to say, seemed more and more attractive to
all of us who had the good sense to keep our bags always packed.
48
Sonnet: Your Emergency Preparedness Kit
fornia, mostly the same. In Latin America, much the same. But
in Canada be sure to have a charged cell phone, and in the US
a fistful of credit cards, and your Triple-A card. A six-pack of beer
49
Sonnet: Afflictions of Writers
50
Outlying
51
Hotel Aquí
At the Hotel Aquí we sat and wept. Promised a jacuzzi with ozone,
a “shower Finnish,” we found that neither of these worked. At least
they didn’t work properly. The ads once again had misled us, and we
set out to explore methods of extracting our revenge. Sábado came
and went, and, if things didn’t get worse, they also failed to improve.
Even private parking in individual garages did not raise our spirits.
Right across the street, the Tokio Hotel seemed to be laughing at us,
our daily if not hourly disappointments. The beach behind it, out
52
His Nonchalance
Disambiguated after all these years, his regard for her remained
tethered to his highest aspirations. His Paris-based operations
thrown into confusion, he decided to take his first vacation in years.
53
Sonneto Incognito
54
Urban Sonnet
hole in the night. The reddish hand says, Stop! The bent
little man bids us scurry. Our Screen Actors Guild cards
are sometimes enough to get us half a day’s work and
a lunch. Enough for now, but what about tomorrow?
55
Wavelength
With opacity drifting across their sunset, Mitsui and Jim spill colors
across the floors of their loft. A column of flame shoots upward
every half hour. Beyond the serrated glass, the knife-edged sky casts
brilliant squares of light on polished hardwood floors. Now silvery gray,
a tall, thin window comes into view, turning at right angles to the total
blackness above. Suddenly it is no longer dark. A speeding freight train
roars out of the fireplace, and passersby barely notice. What you see
is what you get, essentially. The center of the universe, we’ve found,
can be anywhere we want it to be. Gradually, as the day wore on, the light
became more and more pronounced, subtly altering the contents of our
space. Faith, hope, and envy flashed above the doorways and people die
of exposure all around. Consummate rockers, masters of the violin,
bypassed by the art world, just get off the train altogether. The train becomes
a very small thing down the track, impossible to catch.
56
Sonnet: Younger Poets
57
Horse Led to Slaughter
across the pyroclastic flow, ground so hot our boots would melt,
thirty-four barefoot runners from the Seychelles, the last to fall.
58
Sonnet: Sudden Hailstorms
59
Sonnet: Milwaukee, City of Rumors
60
Retrospective Sonnet
And what if the British had not been preoccupied with Napoleonic
wars on the continent of Europe, what then? What if two oceans had
not protected us for all those years while we struggled to build our
nation, our empire, our city on the hill? What if the hunters had not
come out of the forest, what then? And, as if the past were not enough
to worry about, the future brought even more worries to our breakfast
table. What if the kids, the children, proved impossible to domesticate,
impossible to place into schools that would assure them a future we
might have wanted for ourselves? What if that swing vote on the Supreme
Court had swung the other way? What might have happened then?
61
Sonnet: Whimsical Children
62
Sonnet: Permission Denied
63
Sonnet: They Call the Wind Sudoku
64
Calling All Lexicographers
65
Axiomatic Sonnet
I mean to say, “Stat”? While the rising tide lifts all boats, it is ax-
iomatic that not all boats are equally seaworthy and that those
of the poor more often tend to choose sinking to swimming when
they’re down to their last two options. Her closed, convex body
cuddled close to his while in his ear she whispered, “Tithonus rising
drives away the night, and hoar-frost flees the meadows.” Adopting
an axiom, of course, is no laughing matter, especially when living
in a country without universal health care, where stitches in time
don’t save nine, where oil and water sometimes mix, where some-
thing ventured doesn’t necessarily gain much at all, if anything.
66
Sonnet: Body Under a Running Stream
67
Late Arrivals
68
Just to Say
69
“Dark Peruvian Forces”
two and thirty years later that would leave more than ever
in exile, their doctoral theses at the mercy of the excesses
and “imposturas” of the junta. Her truculence, it was thought,
served her well, even far from known tourist conflagrations.
70
GWOT Sonnet
71
Jeffersonian Melodramas
72
Morphine Wreckage
73
Today the President Ate Lunch
74
Northland Graves
75
Adventures on the Hippocampus
But, by late afternoon, this often murky history has had its sense of
relevance restored, on its way to class (Brachiation 101—elective).
76
Night Letter
77
Sonnet: Far Afield
has his daisy to push up once he’s dead. And that goes
for females too, whatever we rudely called them once.
78
II
79
Centcom Briefings Sonnets
#1
80
#2
and they were attacked, and the trees often vary in both color
and substance. Flame more or less comes and goes.
81
#3
82
Sonnet: Marching as to War
83
Firefight at Palestine Hotel
84
Sonnet: Success
85
Sonnet: A Guy Was Talking
86
Synaesthetic Sonnets
#1
87
#2
88
Sonnet: In an Uncertain World
89
Sonnet: The Story Thus Far
90
Mad Cow Sonnets
#1
teams no longer give them what they had long taken for
granted, take potshots at them from the sun-baked stands.
91
#2
Gwethalyn felt like staying in bed for the day, but something
we have no word for aroused her suspicions. “We have nothing
on for Friday night,” Lou said, frequently. Odious comparisons
normally dispensed with, the privy’s details did not bear
92
#3
93
#4
94
#5
95
#6
Two men out in the bottom of the ninth, and the batter’s
got no eye. “Nothing on for Friday night,” Lou says. “We’ve
still no name for the Baghdad team, that slipshod bunch
of bobblers,” but the waiting period had been waived.
96
Sonnet: Old MacDonald Had a Farm
E
I
E
I
E
I
E
I
E
I
E
I
O
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97
California Sonnet
shadowy thing in the water! Was it a skate? And then there was
that new boy, the boy of your boy, patting the plastic of the bag
with the ashes of your husband inside, saying goodbye to Grandpa,
as urged to by his mom, your boy’s girl, her Aussie parents down
from Cupertino, five and a half hours by road. And after all that,
brunches for all at Bamboozle, just out of the sun for a change.
98
Chimayo
99
Sonnet: How Are Things Going?
How are things really going in Idaho? A tricky question, at first, inherently
difficult to answer in terms of counterinsurgency warfare
and nation-building efforts. Small trees (and large) blown down,
their “client areas” damaging roofs and garages, cars parked in driveways.
Winning Idaho hearts and minds, and lowering crime rates in general, remain
our goals, even with water services at 80 percent of pre-war levels.
100
Sonnet: No Dice
“The government (it was leaked) will not negotiate tariffs under pressure,”
the President said, from his home in the Large Magellanic Cloud.
He jotted down names of concessionaires who will not negotiate,
assuring us that the water and light cuts of the past few days
of the press corps, as usual, was silent—her secretary, less so. Possible supply
problems over the next several months went unnoticed until the very last
moment. Tariffs congealed on the windowsills. Directors of some multi-
nationals endorsed new slogans for upcoming ad campaigns, caused
And, even as they spoke, Maine voters, who knew a lot about felling
trees, voted down the building of a million new casinos.
101
Sonnet: Drought
he looks oddly out of place, sitting there in his boots and denims,
jabbing one finger at his ear whenever the earpiece feels like it’s
about to slip loose. He shares his fears that the government’s
about to reduce the price supports that keep him “afloat.”
He grins and makes little airborne quotation marks with two fingers
of each hand. Outside, on the sidewalk, pedestrians lean this way
and that, trying to let themselves be seen beyond his denim jacket’s
shoulders. When his moment is over, he thanks his interviewer
and expresses the hope that we’ll all understand his problems
and needs, and that we’ll all do our best to save the family farm.
102
Baltimore: Moon Caught in Powerlines
From our decks and rooftops here, the only mountains we see
are the ones on the moon. Backyards and gardens, garages
and row houses, a steeple or two, and far, far off,
between the trees and a couple lower, nearer buildings,
a high-rise office tower by the harbor—these, plus the moon
and the clouds and, in the bright city night, a star or two, are our vista.
No frogs here, but crickets and birds and barking dogs. Helicopters
and planes, including those high-up glittery ones too near the moon
to be heard. Sirens and other vehicular traffic on nearby streets. Sometimes
sounds of voices coming up from the sidewalk, especially on cool spring or fall nights
when the air-conditioners are turned off and the windows stand open.
The silent moon makes its way from one side of the house to the other,
sometimes waiting till breakfast time to plunge as far down
as the powerlines, struggling to break free of their net on its way to
wherever it’s going, mountains and all.
103
Sonnet: Abandoned in Despair
104
Psy-ops Sonnet
105
Sonnet: Autonomous Retreat
106
Sonnet Cycle
107
Pastorale
108
Sonnet: Surprisingly, Vertical Industry
109
Sonnet: I Think Continually
110
Sonetto: Buona Fortuna
111
Sonnet: The Light Within
Alone, you let the terrible stranger in, one of infinite grace and power.
No hospital beds. Beds. No hospital beds, no hospital beds.
Left to his own devices, he knew not to waken.
It’s not difficult to take a snooze in poems, the good doctor said.
112
Sonnet: Democracy in the News
ed-up cities along its riverbanks and coastlines. Conrad’s “At sea
we are all equal” morphs into “We are all equally at sea.” Crates
of chickens and live pigs are delivered unto our legislators each and
every day. The notion that the citizen is the ultimate sovereign brings
tears to our eyes. Where is calm Boccherini now that we need him?
Unorganized citizens without dishwashers live below the radar-
screen of corporate enterprise—unserved, unused—mowing their
113
Sonnet: It’s Better to Turn on the TV
114
Double-sonnet: Methane
I.
It’s hard to know where to begin. Kenny started growing his own
methane out behind the house when he was in his early forties and has
continued to this very day. The little methane bushes he ultimately moves
to rows in the garden, but in this climate they need to be started off
his little methane bushes in between the rows of lemon trees out back, the ones
we keep alive over the long winters here by firing up the smudge pots. Once
Kenny’s recovered from the animals and the pool and the narcotic analgesics
he’s had to take every four hours, he’ll be on his feet again, out in back, tending
his little bushes. Much of what Kenny says is complex and interesting, but around
here we have lots of those little old half wine barrels you find sometimes at home
115
II.
and garden stores, so knowing where to plant him when he’s not up to snuff
is never a problem. I wish I could see your house. It probably has some of those
pipes and ducts and things running all around from the water-heater to keep things
warm, and one of those slatty wooden things in the corner of the kitchen that make
the room so cozy. Now, it’s come to my attention that a rumor (sort of) has been
associated with my name and the end of my fifty-year marriage to Kenny. It seems
that some of you are under the impression that I had affairs behind Kenny’s back,
not once, not twice, but many, many times over the years. Even that I cheated with
Betty. But I want you to know that Kenny and I never had affairs without the other’s
knowing and approving and sometimes even participating. So, there it is—the idea that
I went behind Kenny’s back is absolute fucking false. I hope this clears up the confusion
in anyone’s mind. I did not cheat . . . not ever, not even after Kenny died and all his little
methane bushes had long since been plowed under. Not even after Kenny died and all
his little methane trees had long since been plowed under. End of story. Really.
116
Sonnet: Democracy Red in Tooth and Claw
folks who smoke by lighting one cigarette from the butt of another, who
personally observe events, and then make up their minds. She’d spent a lot
of time watching large birds swoop to pick off smaller ones at the feeder
one by one, and thought that public life, either in business or government, must
be pretty much the same as that. At least, I thought, she didn’t rely upon
the press to be informed. In fact, whenever she’d see TV images
of bombs bursting in the air of Iraq, she’d said, “See? Those are the seeds
of democracy being planted.” She’d call the green of night-vision lenses
the green thumb of liberty. And I never knew exactly how much irony to give
her credit for. “Extremity at the edge of terror”—her last words on the subject.
117
Sonnet: Benign Virus Appears to Block Bush Strategy
awaited test cores shipped down from Mars and the start of yet another movie
based on superhero comics. “These bad guys are bad,” mused one, as the action
got under way. A news team with meat on its bones waited in the corridor,
yes, one of those corridors of power we’ve heard so much about
for them to emerge. “What did you think?” asked one, thrusting a mike
toward one of the suits stepping out. “Did it make you feel deeply about
anything at all? Did it make you think?” One said, “That sadist
in the mask he was really cool.” “Evil,” said another, “went down
118
On the Hustings with George: Two Sonnets and Part of Another
1.
Slowing down medical advances, along with setting back patient care, is high
on his list of achievable goals, even in an election year. And banning federal
funds for such purposes would be only the first step in leaving his mark on
the country and turning the dark historic page begun with FDR’s rise to power.
Whether George can guarantee for himself a second, and perhaps even third, term
has become a matter of intense international debate, and yet doing so is an essential
step toward providing defenses against 21st century threats. George thinks his offer
to go one-on-one in a series of televised debates with Ralph Nader demonstrates
that he has nothing to hide, that his response to the 9/11 attacks earned him a statue
at Ground Zero, wearing a hard hat, hand on the shoulder of a fire-fighting fellow hero.
119
2.
George sees nothing unusual or reprehensible about inviting Tang Yao-ming, Taiwan’s
defense minister, to be his running mate, especially since his current vice president,
Dick Cheney, is nowhere to be found. “We’ve got to expand our thinking,” George says,
when challenged, “and if the Constitution contains some impediment to doing so . . .
well, then, we’ve got to change the Constitution.” In a number of regional and national
publications, George has expressed his belief that the phonetic and phonological bases
of reading and writing should no longer be beyond the grasp of third-graders anywhere.
Nor should the colonizing of outer space be postponed any longer. In his new book,
The Autobiography of My Mother Barbara, George once again decries the use of stem cells
from the excess embryos at fertility clinics. “What if I . . .”
120
3.
“had never been born? What then? What if the hunters hadn’t come out of the forest?
What would have happened then?” Industry needs our help in a lot of ways. There’s no doubt
about that, and George is aware of the need. He’s also aware that God intended marriage
to be a man-and-woman sort of thing, and that if He hadn’t He wouldn’t have made sex-change
operations available to all of them. “I like to test all truths against the principles of revisionary
aesthetics,” George often opines, when asked his views on Spenser’s Faerie Queene, “but
I’m always too busy leading and being president to read that sort of filth.”
121
Sonnet Written in the Light of Fiscal Realities
122
Slow Curve
had the words to say it. She was up to write her letters at four, when
the clouds had not yet lifted from the treetops, and then she’d spend
most of the rest of the morning with her collection of Gerard Depardieu
autographs, the ones she’d purchased on eBay, the house around her,
shuttered and still. Outside the house, the streets were cordoned off
with ropes, as though that would protect anyone against anything nowadays.
Around lunchtime she turns on the news. The camera catches a newscaster
who doesn’t realize he’s on the air snarling, “This computer broken or what?”
before grinning sheepishly into the lens and launching into his recital of yet
another morning’s disasters. And, from there on, it’s all downhill.
123
In the East Room
Look, I know that this has been tough weeks in that country,
but the road is still straight and we will not waver. Our commitment
to freedom is as committed as ever and we will not waver. We
will stay the course over the course of the future, whatever it brings.
safer than ever because they can live in as much peace and freedom as we
ever have, serving the cause of liberty, and freedom, and democracy, and so on.
We will take resolute action wherever feasible and prudent, and in the interests
of the safety of our people and those around the world, in Asia and in Europe,
who have come to know that we are as good as our words when it comes to
staying God’s course, and not wavering, as we determine our unwavering resolve.
124
Sonnet: Getting on with Our Lives
(though more vigilant than before) we watch for rough patches in the road
while taking care not to impede the progress of emergency vehicles
or unduly stress the negative in such a way as to upset the wife and kids
why just the other day the wife was sitting outside on the porch-swing taking
note of the activities of the latest insurgency to spring up in our neck
of the woods but did she get upset and raise a ruckus about it no no not her
the kids went on playing in the yard in their own sweet innocent ways not
yelling or screaming or crying even when mortar shells landed next door
doing I might add some slight damage to the greenhouse windows out back
though I must say the wife got a bit irate when those marines drove their humvees
into and out of the front yard leaving a couple deep ruts with their wheelspins
that ran right through her bed of verbenas and nasturtiums nicely edged by hostas
within a week however there was a nice little note from the regional commander saying
how sorry he was about any collateral damage that may or may not have occurred
125
Double-sonnet: A Test of Wills
1.
“Okay,” said the President, “we’re going to have a Test of Wills here,”
so we went out and rounded up all the Wills we could find, and herded
them into the Press Room, where we sat them down in long rows
at desks with paper and writing implements for them to write with.
“Okay now, listen up,” said the Prez, once they’d all taken their seats.
“We’re having a little contest of Wills here, but, even though there’ll be
winners and losers, not one of you Wills will be left behind. I guarantee that.
Okay now, pay attention, and put on your thinking caps. The first thing
that I want you to do is write down your full name on that piece of paper
in front of you. Last one done is the loser.” “Not fair,” said Will Shakespeare,
who was sitting with Will Durant just to his left. “That’s right, that’s not fair,”
said Will Durant, who was nobody’s fool, and who’d seen Charlton Heston
disguised as Will Penny on the other side of the room a couple rows back
right next to Will Smith. “And that Gary Wills over there, he’s not even a Will.
126
2.
He’s a Gary. Doesn’t even belong here.” “Awright, awright. Just take it easy,”
said the Prez, relieved that he hadn’t been called on his ringer. “Just write your
names, and we won’t time you on it. Now, do it, and lie your pens down when
you’re finished.” [scribbling sounds all around] “Okay, now, raise your hands
if you’re willing to die for this country,” said the Prez. Most of the hands shot
up, but Shakespeare said, “I’m not even American.” “That’s okay, bubba,
you’re part of the Coalition of the Willing.” “Right, OK, forsooth,” said the Bard.
Then he stuck up his hand, thought for a moment and pulled it down again.
“But Your Highness, I’m already dead.” “Oh, horsefeathers,” said the Prez.
“Let me rephrase the question. Put your hand up if you’re willing to die or die again
and again for this country, American or not.” All the hands shot up—except for one.
“Okay, what’s your name, fella? You ain’t bein’ helpful,” said the Prez, all red-faced
and flustered like. “My name’s Will Geer, Mr. Prez, and I just ain’t on a war footing,”
said the [your choice] cowardly/curmudgeonly/heroic/foolish/patriotic old man.
127
Mini-sonnet: For the Families
128
III
129
My Strange Amoeba
130
Sonnet: The Week That Was
131
Contiguous Humiliations
132
Sonnet: Spontaneous Separations
Shaken out into a taxi or limo, sand artists carry with them
their mandalas and mudras. Static prevents our reception
of previous messages, whether blue or red. If public opin-
ion mattered, if it influenced policy, then stealth aircraft
133
Arbitration Sonnet
injunctive or other appropriate relief in any state or federal court in the state
of New York, and you consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such
courts. Arbitration under this agreement shall be conducted under the rules
then prevailing of the American Arbitration Association. The arbitrator’s award
134
Sonnet Industry Shorts
135
Sonnet: Bridge Over Troubled Markets
136
Sonnet Incorporating a Poem by James Tate
137
Sonnet
this reaches you before you take the actual step, the actual leap
off into the darkness of wherever you’re going, the girl at her
curtains, hanging on to her double secret, her index of forbidden
literature, one possible if erroneous interpretation being that
projects like carnivals never go exactly as planned, unless
of course you take those “fortunate accidents” into account.
138
Stipulations
139
Found Sonnet: On Red
and red velvet cushions on the window seat, would have much
more warmth and charm than if the walls were entirely red.
140
Tango Bouquet
141
Bachiana
142
How Pink Was My Monkey?
143
Sonnet: Climate Control
144
Sonnet: Sometimes a penis . . .
145
Landscape Near a Landfill
before you can call him a man? Mom and pop therapists
convene in Decatur, Illinois—deep clashes of intuition,
146
Autumnal Sonnet
of our driveway. “Will work for food,” said his sign. Some said his
parents had married for love, but none could have known for sure.
Youngsters congregated in the front yard, choosing up sides.
147
Death Panel Sonnet
148
Sonnet: This Music Does Not Mean
149
Superbot Sonnet
150
Sonnet: Nothing As Yet To Report
151
Miracles Sonnet
Frida Kahlo expects nothing less than the best from her admirers.
Frida Kahlo rents the far side of the moon for her newest exhibition.
Frida Kahlo overtakes Mount Fuji as world’s most famous icon.
Frida Kahlo enters Guinness World Records as most popular saint’s name.
Frida Kahlo adopted as mantra by billions of Buddhists worldwide.
152
Seven Years Later
153
Sonnet (Italian Style), in English and Vietnamese
154
Sonnet, kiểu Ý
155
The G-Rated Sonnet
nancy, and childbirth. Their ears would be ears that have never
heard “foetus” or “fuck” or “pudenda.” Their family newspaper
would report only engagements, weddings and births. Images
of war, of broken and mutilated bodies would never appear there.
156
Lost Methodologies
Actors who play our younger selves hang around a soda fountain,
eager to be introduced to a wider audience, while we’re being made
up for our death scenes. Wild-eyed Canadians look on as we ready
157
Kitchen Sonnet
158
Sonnet for the New Year
159
Sonnet: In Fine Fettled Sleep
but never to the boss. And yet, keeping the door open just
a crack allows x and not-x to sweetly cohabit the room.
160
Trading Meaningful Glances
161
Autonomous Retreat
162
Sonnet: Restraint in G Minor
below earth, felt clouds of the shadow, the air is in the rain of promise,
blowing continuous winds, gentle, yet living to spring, awaiting all things.
Maintain cloudy example, and it will follow a man as wise as the clouds around him,
spent well is the time of flexibility outwards, displaying inner strength.
Gentle though this will be, the best way to overcome obstacles is rain,
determination firm enough to be long-lasting, restraining persuasions yet to come.
163
Found Sonnet: This Document Contains No Data
Once you have the link, you can use a proxy server to get there.
What gets me a “This document contains no data” error? Well, from here,
not Jiang Zemin, Bloody case of Shanwei, Zhao Ziyang, June 4th,
Falun Gong (all in Chinese)... So, basically nothing. “No data” may have
been a temporary stopgap, and when the sky did not come crashing down
because of Freezing Point, someone decided to open it back up again.
164
Sonnet: Aro(here)und
A . . . I was going to say “my story,” but I think this applies more or less to
all stories . . . story begins with its very first word, unless, of course, that
word is placed elsewhere than at the beginning of the story. Take the word
“a,” for example—an old word, but still a useful one, a halting gesture
toward a “complete” utterance.
165
Sonnet: Religion in America
166
(Com)promised Land
167
Arsenal
Now that you understand the rules, the arsenal is open today
so that you and other employees may have an opportunity
to introduce your wives or husbands and children to the world
of work. Arms and munitions are what we’re all about here.
168
Sonnet for the Criminally Insane
169
Final Deprivations
170
At the Treeline
171
Sonnet in Elliptical Orbits
172
Sonnet: Norwegian Moods
173
Say No More
174
Sentimental Sonnet
175
Local News
176
A Brave Story
Sarah’s pet ant grew to the size of a bus, and yet . . . and yet. . . .
Genocide in Darfur? Need you ask? Dubai, some say, has sold
its soul to the company store. Blocked from speaking in New York,
he took to the hustings in Nebraska, reading Reading Lolita in Tehran
to any who would come and listen. When things go badly, the public
does not take well to wars of choice. We know that now. Sadly,
we knew that then as well. Is flying around the world any way
to warn us of the dangers of carbon dioxide? These days, he lets
it all hang out, there in the classroom. Merely a tool of the neocons,
he hid his tutu and slippers from hostile faculty. Praise be!
177
Sonnet: Unspecified Horrors
178
Sonnet: Faith-based Initiative
every so often to wipe off his chin before going on with his
licking. Cheerily, I wave to him, saying, “Still haven’t found
that key you lost, eh?” He grins and then makes a sour
179
“Your Eyes Stray”
that bald spot. And the war strays over yet another
border on its way to wherever it’s going. Insurgents
mount incessant attacks, no matter how much we do
to assuage them. No, sir, the pastorale is not dead.
180
With No Known Regrets
181
Another Long, Sad Story
182
Time to Seek Help
183
To This Day
A fact-based drama,
complete with sidekicks
and back story.
184
Afternoon Sonnet
185
Sonnet: Clouds of Knowing and Unknowing
186
Barn, Slope, Tree
187
Sonnet: Sellinger’s Round
188
Sonnet: Cruel Remainders
Hundreds of flights up, all was quiet, except for a slight rustle
as we unfolded our lies. The singer’s nose grew longer as he sang,
every verse in three languages. Phantom oil rigs dotted the Gulf,
the maps to them unlocked. Unsold books attack Alaskan shores.
189
Musikalabend
190
Sonnet: Calm Headlands
191
Some More Anthropology
192
4 Subprime-Mortgage Sonnets
i.
repossessed pulque
bars, luxury-class
rigors of cold
climate
ii.
backroom brawls
back in the news
raunchy endeavors
under review
193
iii.
tonight’s rock
concerto
cancelled
iv.
glossy enlargements
no extra cost
your house or
mine?
Hungry, a country?
194
Dialogue Sonnet
but it’s early in the century, and the campaign will drag
on for months and months if not years and years. We
will all come to regret our first thoughts, our early
prognostications. Progressive enervation, eh?
195
Sonnet: Backward Glances
196
Sonnet Kit CXLVII
197
Saga Sonnet
198
Etiolation Sonnet
move beneath the leaves beneath the eaves, then grow to full
size and turn green. Reaching the light, dim caliphates pulse
much more rapidly than normal. A lot less fun, but easier
199
Neural Loops: or, The Ascension of Osama bin Laden
Tears teased out from neural shelters, rally after early lapses
linger in the woody valleys, distant Atlantean Plain.
It’s entirely new, and the virtual bar to which I applied myself
cranked its way out of that blue-green digital sky, pulsing
200
Sonnet: Unpacking My Toothbrush
201
Sonnet: La Malcontenta
Nowadays, she is away a lot, away from home, from her kids,
who’ve learned to deal, to take care of themselves and each
other. She loads her little truck with her wares and drives off,
waving into the rear-view mirror. She tweets them from little
towns in the countryside where she (on good days) sells her
wares, comes back empty. Her oldest son in Afghanistan, she
tweets him too. He always says, “im ok mom,” but she wonders,
and wonders how he could be. She voted for Obama too,
but now she wonders. On the road a lot and sometimes over
night if the truck isn’t empty, she’d like to be home with her kids
but business is business, and if she doesn’t sell, the kids don’t
eat. There are men . . . well, yes, there have to be men, right?
202
Sonnet bureaucratique
203
Sonnet: Much Better Now Thanks
204
A Little Story
We cannot just sit here and say nothing, so I’ll tell you
what—I’ll tell you a little story. Once upon a time there
was a little president who thought he could be bigger.
He tried and tried to grow himself but only got him smaller.
then, if’n they don’t line up with me, I’ll smallify them more. I’ll
rubble-ize their houses and turn their lunches into ash. I’ll give
all of them nicknames that’ll wither up their butts. But they, they
didn’t listen, and he just grew him smaller and smaller,
small ears and little eyes and all. By now, he’s only visible to Hub
ble. And naked eyes? Well, they just don’t even see him anymore.
205
Sonnet: The Perfection of Mozart’s Third Eye
206
Spam Sonnet
207
Boolean Nights Sonnet
208
Sonnet
209
Sonnet: Your Lips Soft as Lard
210
Sonnet
211
Sonnet: Gracing Light
212
Sonnet: Karachi Dawn
Çatalhöyük had no opera house, and yet its non-streets were full
of garbage. Dreams of his Basque ancestors auctioned off
at Sotheby’s. Where are the Margot Fonteyns of yesteryear?
213
Romantic Sonnet
214
Suspicious Car
215
Raymond Chandler Sonnet
216
Sonnet: Tropical Forest with Monkeys
fear of the forest, point out to them that the jungle is not
as deep as it once was. Farming and lumbering and strip-
mining have now seen to that. Have your monkeys express
their thoughts and fears in little balloons above their heads.
217
Sonnet: On the Way to Gare St. Lazare
Missed my train and had to wait five minutes for the next one.
Enjoyed a brioche with marmalade at the Irish pub.
Planned a Japanese meal with Mike and the rest of the guys (and gals).
Fell asleep briefly in a bar so dark one could easily fall asleep in it.
Learned to say “I need to have sex with you right now” in French.
Got up late again this morning. Haven’t been sleeping well.
Met Georgina and that Corsican guy at the Louvre.
Stayed inside because of the rain. All-day rain. Again.
Got some food at a lovely restaurant with purple and red chairs.
Sat inside, hopping outside to take photos.
218
IV Appendix
219
Shakespeare Lite: The Sonnets (I through XVII)
II
III
220
IV
VI
221
VII
VIII
IX
222
X
XI
XII
223
XIII
XIV
XV
224
XVI
XVII
225
Acknowledgements:
226
Also by Halvard Johnson
Eclipse (1974)
G(e)nome (2003)
227