{ Volume XXIV, Number 2 } March & April 2009 A Publication of the Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo

po County

Anne Barga, “Green Buddha (Tara)”

3 Motherhood 7 Voices Around 9 The Woman’s World 12

The Table

5 Beyond Stereotypes 8 Mark Your Calenders: 10 Local Perspectives:

Lunafest Women’s History Month
 2 Women’sPress
Courtney’s Quill What’s in a Name
The recent rain has seemed to rejuvenate my
spirit as I watch our community turn green
and flourish. And maybe it’s the rain, but
lately I’ve been feeling rather earthy, which
is a difficult feeling to explain, but the other
day, I told my friend that I felt like rolling in
the mud just to be closer to nature. While my
comment did garner an odd look from her, it
was incredibly true. I’ve been craving the out-
doors, and so despite the rainy weather, I’ve
been taking long walks, hiking up our beau-
tiful mountains, and getting some sand in
between my toes. This is all, I’ve decided, an
attempt to become more centered in spirit
and quieter in mind—something that nature
teaches us on a daily basis. And I think this
is what spring is all about. As winter ends
(oh wait…did we have a winter this year?)
and spring approaches, we typically clean
out our houses and get organized, but I find
this the perfect time to also clean my mind
of distractions and become a bit quieter in
my daily thoughts. And in doing so, I will try
to fill my mind with thoughts of gratitude,
which is something that this issue of Wom-
en’s Press does as well. March is Women’s His-
tory Month, and we devoted a section in the
paper to celebrating inspirational women. If
you know someone who is an inspiration to
you, say a silent thank you for this person.
Could you imagine how different you might
be if not for her influence? This month we
also look forward to LUNAFEST! The event
takes place on March 7th at the SLO Library.
For the small cost of $8, please join us as we
watch short films by, for, and about women.
The event has been circled on my calendar for
a month now, and I just can’t wait to feel the
kinetic energy in the room as we watch, learn,
and explore filmmaking at its finest. Finally, I
encourage you to send us your thoughts and
comments about our humble paper. In our
next issue, we will have a local perspectives
section celebrating Mother’s Day. Though
this holiday is often viewed as “hallmark-y”,
I challenge you to go beyond the obvious. In
such a critical economic time, when so many
of my friends and family are currently with-
out employment, I have been inspired and
moved to see communities of women come
together to help each other. And so I think
of mothers as not just women who have born
children, but of women who have taught,
encouraged, helped, lead, and supported, and
really been the foundation for which all has
been built upon. Send in your articles, letters,
poems, and anything else you might think of
about this topic. We would love to share your
stories, furthering our commitment to you
and those in the community.
Courtney
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The opinions expressed in the Women’s Press are those of the
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in the Women’s Press.
By Hilda Heifetz
I’ve been saving a clipping from our local
newspaper about a woodcarver who
donated to our nearby park a sign showing
his version of a ‘crane.” This was in tribute
to what he believed was this bird’s habitat.
Well…we have diligent and informed bird
watchers in this area (Morro Bay, California
is a bird refuge). There was an immediate
outcry by them to let the woodcarver know
that cranes don’t live here…but great, white
EGRETS do!
I can sympathize with the artist’s dis-
comfort. As a matter of fact, several years
before when I first moved to Morro Bay, I
was raving to my new neighbors about my
numerous encounters with the beautiful
white cranes. They lost no time correcting
me, that I must be referring to egrets. Their
indignation made my mistake seem like
a major offense against all egrets and that
I was obliged to make amends. To write
(right) the wrong, a poem emerged which
seemed to allay my guilt and then was filed
away.
Somehow the woodcarver’s gaffe inspired
me to bring out my poem and go public.
For better or verse, I share my original:
About the Cover Artist
Anne Barga
Anne Barga’s paintings have been described
as containing a balance between sponta-
neity and control, emotion and thought.
Her paintings are nature-based blends of
abstraction and representation. Anne says
“Everyone’s daily life is a series of emotions,
thoughts, and impressions. I think, dream,
and imagine colors and shapes to represent
these sensations. My goal is to create art
that is beautiful and that has wit and intel-
ligence and humor. I hope my work inspires
a natural high.”  This painting, Green Bud-
dha (Tara), was commissioned for Anne’s
friend who is exploring Buddhist teachings.
Tara, the Protectress, is known in many cul-
tures as the ever accessible, all encompass-
ing Great Mother. She is the embodiment
of the highest qualities of wisdom, compas-
sion, and power. Swift to reach out to all
those in need, her 21 aspects reflect human-
ity’s radiant potential.
Please see www.annebarga.com for more
of Anne’s art.
5000 free copies distributed in SLO County. Subscriptions available.
Contributors
Beverly Engel
Jeanie Greensfelder
Ali Hatcher
Hilda Heifetz
Charlene Huggins
Laura Grace
Angie King
Volunteers
Evelyn Adams
Barbara Atkinson
Cassandra Carlson
MaryAine Cherry
Kathleen Deragon
Bailey Drechsler
Anne Dunbar
Cynthia Fatzinger
Ani Garrick
Angela Henderson
Margaret Hennessy
Jane Hill
Susan Howe
Women’s Press | March & April 2009 | womenspress.slo@gmail.com
Letter to George,
Owed To An Egret… the Night Before
An Apology
By Judith Bernstein
I send my regrets Note: I grew up in the house that George
To all egrets Putnam and Amelia Earhart lived in (Rye,
If I caused you pain NY), first in a “menage a trois” when he
By calling you “crane.” was married and she single, and later when
(It took more than I knew he divorced his wife to marry her. So I have
To identify you!) always been fascinated by the story of her life.
She was a true ‘free spirit’ and wrote a letter to
It is lots of trouble George the night before her marriage setting
To have a bird double out some conditions, and letting him know he
Who looks much the same could still opt out. I imagined this letter in a
But is different in name? poetic form.
I won’t be a botcher again It’s the bite of marriage that I fear,
Upsetting bird watchers again markings
And I’ll never forget left by teeth, a dog collar ‘round my neck
You’re known as “egret”! (where once a silk scarf flowed)
that say I have an owner.
Dear bird, this ode to you is owed to you.
G.P., til now you’ve called me by my name,
Now, I cannot leave this confession with- Amelia Earhart. Let that not change
out including my reflections following this once we are wed. Our union’s not
experience. Having a predisposition to in names, nor written on a
see the sublime in the ridiculous and vice parchment scroll,
versa, I also find my tongue likes to be in nor sanctified by minister or state.
my cheek but also needs to wag with great
seriousness. It was inevitable that I would Just as in passion’s moment we forget
ponder: “What’s in a name?” Even before ourselves, mingling our sounds and smells,
I was introduced to William Shakespeare’s then reluctantly pull apart, taking back
“he who steals my good name, steals that
which does not enrich him, but makes
once more those places that were
briefly bound,
me poor indeed” –even before that, I was
shocked to learn that our Native Americans
just so in marriage let us treasure
times that bind, but also time apart.
were not consulted about what they wanted
to be called, but were named “Indians” by And sometimes sitting in my room alone,
misguided explorers who thought they had I forget for few moments I’m at home,
landed in India! and adjust my goggles at La Guardia field,
I have also learned that in the mysticism reliving that delicious fear that leaves
of the Kabala, a person’s name contains his my arm pits wet, and then the rush
destiny. In human beings the name seems of rising upward through the air
to become the “self,” so that my friend, then leveling off and floating with
when asked who she is, promptly answered the currents.
“Sarah!” Even more extreme that Shake-
speare, to whom the loss of a good name I may stay aloft past dark, then land
is only impoverishing, taking Sarah’s name for dinner.
away could deprive her of her very exis- The clink of silver, the taking in of food
tence. Do we go so far, as in the case of and wine,
the egret, as to believe his life depends on the flight of words across the table
correctly identifying him? Have I become feed our spirits as the meat our bones.
ridiculous? Then let us drink a toast to marriage,
The carver as well as the rhymester, regretting nothing we have left behind,
meaning no harm, have been treated to celebrating what we bring together
the world of distinctions and differences.
And the egret, by ANY other name, is still
a beautiful bird and unimpressed by name
calling.
Women’s Community Center Board
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March & April 2009 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press
The Children’s Bookshelf
By Lisa Pimentel Johnson
“Molly Lou Melon stood just taller than
her dog and was the shortest girl in the
first grade. She didn’t mind. Her grandma
told her, ‘Walk proudly as you can and the
world will look up to you.’”
Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon by Patty
Lovell, teaches us many life lessons: how to
deal with being short, clumsy, not “maga-
zine pretty,” and having a “voice that sounds
like a bullfrog being squeezed by a boa con-
strictor.” In this climate of adjusted parent-
ing, it is her grandmother that steers Molly
Lou through the rough waters of bully’s
at school and self image issues. Using the
sage advice of her grandmother, she walks
proud, smiles big, and sings loudly in daily
life. Both parents and children need to
embrace the simple lessons taught in this
delightful book.
Parenting
By Lisa Jouet
My husband and I decided to try to get
pregnant about 5 years ago, and we are
now the proud 40-something parents of an
active 2 ½ year old. Each day we are faced
with myriad decisions regarding our child.
At first, we read every book, magazine, and
internet article we could get our hands on,
beginning with pregnancy and birth. Dur-
ing my searches, I also met other parents
trying to parent in the same instinctive,
bonded, and positive way that we were.
These other parents called their philosophy
“Attachment Parenting.” The term is cred-
ited to a physician, Dr. William Sears. If
you go to AP websites, eight principles are
listed. They are;
• Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth
and Parenting
• Feed with Love and Respect
• Respond with Sensitivity
• Use Nurturing Touch
• Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically
and Emotionally
• Provide Consistent and Loving Care
• Practice Positive Discipline
• Strive for Balance in Personal and
Family Life
My upbringing had many of these prin-
ciples, but certainly not all of them. I am
glad I knew so many people who were will-
ing to share their pregnancy, birth, and par-
enting stories. Everything I learned pointed
me toward the goal of having a healthy
pregnancy and an unmedicated birth. The
path I started down with this first prin-
ciple created a domino effect. As time has
marched on, I try to embrace these prin-
Midwifery Today
By Edana Hall
In the State of California, women have
many choices on where, with whom, and
how they will birth their children. Seem-
ingly, much of the population is unaware
that there are options that exist outside of
the standard obstetric, medically-based
model of care.
In fact, there is a distinctively differ-
ent model of care that addresses the indi-
vidual needs of normal, healthy birthing
women and their families; that approaches
“Holy Frijoles,” cries the cutest, person-
ality packed, Siamese cat ever written in
children’s literature. His mother calls him,
“Mr. Kitten Britches, Mr. Fuzzy Pants, Mr
Fluffernutter, or Mr. Cocopugs.” Even if
you don’t particularly like cats, Skippyjon
Jones by Judy Schachner is a story about
a rambunctious kitty with an overactive
imagination that will win your mind and
heart with a swipe of his black and white
paw. He is El Skippito, wielding a sword to
save a roving band of Chihuahuas from a
gigantic bumblebeeto. This mission involves
lots of beans: black beans, baked beans, kid-
ney beans, and jelly beans. Add some made
up words like bangito, crashito, popito or
friskito, and you have instant smiles. The
drawings are engaging as well: colorful,
“funeeto,” and whimsical. “Holy Guaca-
mole,” every child should have this book!
ciples every day. I make little mistakes just
like everyone else, but I try to learn from
them, listen to my instincts, and move on
without regrets.
For example, when it is time for our tod-
dler to go to sleep, we go through our tooth
brushing routine, read a few books, and
turn out the light. One of us lies down with
her in her bed until she falls asleep. Occa-
sionally, I am annoyed when she does not
fall asleep quickly, but I keep in mind that
I want her to feel loved, safe, and secure.
Before I slip away, I look I see her peace-
ful, sleeping face, and I feel so much hap-
piness and love. More importantly, I feel I
am doing the right thing for our daughter.
If she wakes up during the night, we don’t
make a big deal of it, and she finishes her
night or morning in our bed.   She sleeps
through the night more often than not and
wakes up in a very sunny mood.
The most difficult task for me is posi-
tive discipline. When my child acts out, I
find I am often at a loss, even for words. I
was raised with a more authoritarian style
of parenting, and according to my parents,
I was as an easy-going child who did not
often disobey. So here I am with an active,
confident, and at times moody 2 year
old who throws things at me when she is
angry.  My husband and I, however, choose
clear and loving communication. We give
her options and she chooses her path.
Attached parenting is nothing more
than parenting in the way history and time
has proven to be most effective. Please join
me over the next year, as I explore and
explain each of Attached parenting’s eight
principles. I believe that both you and your
child(ren) will be enlightened and enriched.
pregnancy and birth as normal, physiologic
processes; that encourages women and their
families to become informed, educated, and
responsible for their health and health care.
These standards are the hallmarks of The
Midwifery Model of Care as practiced by
today’s Licensed Midwives.
Today’s Licensed Midwife has completed
a didactic training course from an accred-
ited college, has secured adequate clini-
cal experience through apprenticeships or
hands-on training, and has passed the State
Continued in Midwifery, pg 5
Children are highly entertained with
body functions and can wax poetic for
hours about one burp, one hiccup, or
even rectal flatulence! In the book, Wal-
ter the Farting Dog by William Kotzwinkle
and Glenn Murray, it’s totally about a dog
that produces the smelliest, most disgust-
ing farts all morning, noon, and night. The
children in the story love this dog in spite
of his gas, but after trying different meth-
ods to cure the problem, the parents are
ready to get fresh air in the house and take
the dog to the pound. Luckily, Walter’s gas
problem saves the day in a unique way, and
the whole family learns to live with him
and his special aroma. The illustrations are
especially artistic and will make you want
to study it in depth. Children will love all
the farting in this book, and you probably
will get some “demonstrations” of that par-
ticular talent every time this book is read!
Give, Sustain, Save: Breast Milk
By Jennifer Kaplan
Salma Hayek recently made international
news when she breastfed a malnourished
African baby (in the Sierra Leone Region)
while she was on a goodwill ambassador
tour with UNICEF. Sierra Leone has the
highest infant mortality rate in the world
with many babies dying because their
mothers are being forced to stop breastfeed-
ing their children. Folklore and myths in
Sierra Leone encourage many mothers to
stop breastfeeding their infants within the
first few months after birth because of pres-
sure from their husbands. Tradition holds,
in some areas, that it is not acceptable to
have sexual relations with breast feeding
women. It is also widely believed in this
West African country that breast feeding
does not provide enough food for a baby,
and that colostrum, or first milk, is actually
poisonous. These inaccuracies and stigma
attached to breastfeeding has led to cata-
strophic events in this region. In an effort
to encourage and educate the women there
to breastfeed, Salma Hayek offered a sick
baby boy her own breast milk. He hungrily
accepted.
Not only can we women give birth,
but we are able to sustain life through our
breast milk, and now, as Salma Hayek has
shown, we can also save lives with the milk
we can provide to babies. Give, sustain,
save. Breastmilk is nature’s perfect food for
babies. A woman’s body is designed to initi-
ate breastfeeding minutes after giving birth,
and babies are born with the innate knowl-
edge of seeking out the breast and suckling.
Breast milk is so vital to our children that
the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics)
and WHO (World Health Organization)
recommend nursing our young for a mini-
mum of one year, and they suggest that two
year breastfed babies reap the most benefits.
The babies of Sierra Leone could thrive if
they were breastfed.
Furthermore, according to world
renowned Pediatrician and author, Dr.
Sears, the benefits of breastfeeding and
breast milk include not only an innate
bonding between mother and child, but
also germ-fighting and health-promot-
ing ingredients. These help protect babies
against all kinds of infections, common and
not-so-common. Breast milk also contains
unique brain-building nutrients that can-
not be manufactured or bought. Breastfeed-
ing promotes the right chemistry between
Motherhood 3
Just a Moment
By Kalila Volkov
Waiting for my carpool kids to spill
noisily in
(leaving tracks of sand)
expecting the girlish giggles and stories
from the halls of eighth grade
I sit and ponder the name of the bird
on the wire
with a white spot high on its chest
Fortunate am I to have these days
where I can steal a twenty-minute rest
breathing deeply
where I can quietly watch my
nature friends;
contemplate new recipes;
read poems;
have an extended chat with my
distant brother
or sit among my ripening tomatoes
Getting quieter still
retraining my body to move more slowly
to perch and gaze around me
like the little bird
Photo by Anna i Adria
mother and baby by stimulating a woman’s
body to produce prolactin and oxytocin,
hormones that give mothering a boost. So
breastfeeding is good for the mother and
the child.
And here, in the United States, where we
have so much, women all across the nation
choose to forgo breastfeeding because it can
be time consuming, painful at times, and
can even ruin the look of a breast. Though
there are some women who have physi-
cal problems and cannot breast feed, the
majority of women not breastfeeding made
a conscious decision not to. And though
some women must return to work, science
and nature has come together beautifully in
the form of a breast pump, allowing women
to pump their milk throughout the day, so
babies may still have nature’s perfect food
in the form of a bottle. To think that babies
world wide are dying without breast milk,
and here in the United States, women let
their milk go, is sad.
Salma Hayek might have given this new-
born a fighting chance, but he needs more
than one feeding. We do not yet know if
this baby survived or if another woman
or his mother resumed breastfeeding him.
What we do know is that the stigma of
breastfeeding in the African nation has been
reduced. The myths are being questioned
by mothers, and their maternal instincts to
nurture and feed their children are being
restored. The fathers might listen to the
physicians who are urging the women to
keep their babies alive by feeding them. It
took Salma Hayek to reach out and feed a
hungry baby, to share her breast milk, and
to nurture a child to squash these myths.
She was able to do more in that simple
altruistic action than all the literature and
education the WHO has been trying to get
across to the people of Sierra Leone. Salma
Hayek was simply, being a mother.
4 WomenatWork
Want to Know Where Your Hassles Are Hiding? Economic Stimulus Opportunities
Launch a “Hassle Hunt!” By Andrea Zeller
By Adele Sommers
Is the water feeling
a little choppy at
your place of work?
Is your boat bouncing
around a lot (or even a
little) these days? Are peo-
ple getting seasick and look-
ing around for the Dramamine—all
because they keep sailing into barriers that
keep them from getting anything done?
That could be a sign of shark-like “has-
sles” surrounding your ship, or giant octopi
waiting to strangle your productivity and
morale. Or, maybe there are just a lot of
little sea urchins out there, sucking the life
out of your people and profitability!
In any case, it’s time to go fishing for
hassles — obstacles, hurdles, and frustra-
tions of all shapes and sizes! Give everyone
a “fishing license” along with a permit to
clean up the waters once and for all.
Recipe for “Hassle Stew”
#1 Bait and trap: Invite everyone to a
“hassle hunt” party. Tell people to
bring back a net full of their most
annoying hassles. Have people
catch and return their ideas to you
in advance or simply plan to start
“fishing” at the meeting. No hassle
is too big or too small to pursue!
#2 Weigh: Define each problem clearly
in terms of what happens and why
it occurs.
#3 Sort: Prioritize your hassles using a
5-question test. Use these answers
to help determine the order in
which to resolve them. Consider
the a) perceived impact or sever-
ity, b) whether your customers are
bothered, c) whether you can get
a quick resolution, d) whether you
can more easily achieve a mission-
critical goal by getting rid of each
hassle, and e) whether the solu-
tion is under your group’s control.
While you shouldn’t ignore the
obstacles that need more time and
energy, you can generate a stronger
Shifting Toward Hope
By Roberta Youtan Kay
For the last 15 years of my professional
life, I worked as a Diversity Trainer. This
wonderful profession gave me the unique
opportunity to lead workshops and semi-
nars in workplaces all across the country
and occasionally overseas. The sessions were
designed to expose the inequity of treat-
ment aimed at people considered “differ-
ent” from the dominant culture. Dominant
culture typically implied white males, so
difference included many categories: those
from other races, cultural and religious
groups, the disabled, those of different sex-
ual orientations, political ideologies, gender
and age. I worked with executives, corpo-
rate managers, government bureacrats and
laborers, university and school administra-
tors and teachers to try to make the envi-
ronment in the workplace more inclusive
and hospitable. Trainings were designed to
help eliminate prejudice and exclusionary
practices commonly engaged in by our soci-
ety toward those considered minorities or
just those different from the majority .
Throughout my years as a diversity
trainer, I heard hundreds of stories from
people of all colors that illustrated life expe-
riences common to them but not part of
my reality at all. Many of these stories came
feeling of momentum by tackling
the easier ones first. A few quick
successes can really boost morale!
#4 Filet: Dissect each high-priority
hassle in a group discussion. Con-
sider a range of potential solutions
by brainstorming and analyzing as
many ideas as possible. Create new,
digestible recipes by adding ingre-
dients and chopping out waste.
#5 Cook: Give everyone a chef ’s hat
and identify actionees to sauté the
solutions.
#6 Serve: Dish up a plan of action to
meet regularly to track and monitor
progress. Start by entering the has-
sles, priorities, actionees, and prog-
ress notes into a table, spreadsheet,
or database, and update it before
each meeting.
In conclusion, with ongoing vigilance,
demoralizing hassles will stop invading your
workplace like piranhas in pond. Manage-
ment’s unflagging participation and sup-
port throughout this entire voyage will help
ensure your ultimate success!
Adele Sommers, Ph.D. is a business per-
formance consultant who helps entrepreneurs
align their life passions with their business
purpose. She also guides organizations through
“tactical tune-ups” and “strategic makeovers”
in individual or group sessions. Contact her
today for a free initial consultation at Adele@
LearnShareProsper.com, or 805-462-2199.
from my colleagues, partners with whom I
led the majority of my trainings, as well as
the participants attending the workshops.
Over and over again, people would talk
about being obviously followed and care-
fully watched as they went shopping, for
example, or being singled out and inter-
rogated by police when driving through
white neighborhoods. Participants shared
hundreds of stories about being treated like
second class citizens or ignored by their
teachers in school and being overlooked or
not considered for advancement in their
jobs. Occasionally, there would be shock-
ing stories like the following one I’ll never
forget told to me by a white woman. One
day while she was pregnant and with her
African-American husband, a woman came
up to them, placed her hand on the wom-
an’s swollen belly and said, “Lord, save this
child’s life and free him from its devil par-
ents!”
Walking into a new training room, I
never knew what to expect. I was often met
with suspicion and animosity by partici-
pants who were not receptive to the goals
of the workshops. I occasionally encoun-
tered blatant anger aimed at me, especially
when the group consisted of no other peo-
ple than white males. Since many of my
sessions were mandatory for employees, my
Women’s Press | March & April 2009 | womenspress.slo@gmail.com
By the time you read this, President Obama
will have signed legislation authorizing the
nearly $800 billion American Recovery and
Reinvestment Act. President Obama sought
the creation of an Act that emphasizes infra-
structure development and public works
projects modeled much after the New Deal
programs created by President Franklin
Roosevelt shortly after he entered office in
1933. President Obama’s massive economic
stimulus package is intended, much like
President Roosevelt’s New Deal programs,
to jumpstart our flailing economy.
As a business owner, have you thought
about what opportunities this legislation
will offer you? The new American Recov-
ery and Reinvestment Act brings billions
of dollars in contract opportunities to gov-
ernment contractors over the next several
years. Do you offer products or services
that could be used in the various areas
where stimulus strategies are targeted? The
government likely will award contracts to
increase energy efficiency in federal build-
ings, expand health care information tech-
nology, and continue military construction
projects. Meanwhile, billions more will be
provided to state and local governments for
shovel-ready infrastructure projects, cre-
ating business for small and mid-size con-
struction firms.
For example, infrastructure development
funds, such as highway and bridge improve-
ments, will flow federal funds through Cal-
trans. If you are in construction, be sure
your business is certified through the State
of California to access the Caltrans oppor-
tunities. The Act also contains billions of
dollars to improve health information tech-
nology, and there’s money for green initia-
tives. The US Army Corps of Engineers
and the US General Services Administra-
tion will have numerous opportunities.
Are you ready for this? If you have a
product or service that can be used in any
of these areas, you definitely want to pre-
pare and position your company so that
government buyers can quickly place con-
tracts with you. Do you know how to get
certified as a small business, as a women-
owned or minority-owned business, or as a
challenge was to win them over by creating
a non-threatening, inclusive atmosphere
where people could speak openly and hon-
estly about their feelings and eventually get
to the place where they not only tolerated
but began to appreciate and realize the value
of the differences we were discussing. I am
happy to say that the majority of the time
I was able to accomplish these goals. It was
always extremely rewarding and gratifying
at the conclusion of a workshop when par-
ticipants would thank me for helping them
understand the experiences of others. A
man once wrote on his evaluation form: “I
learned that diversity is not a problem that
needs to be solved but rather an asset that
needs to be implemented.” When those that
had been oppressed in some way finished a
workshop, they consistently talked about
how much they appreciated the opportu-
nity to finally open up and tell the truth
about their lives in a room of co-workers
with whom they’d worked, often for years,
but to whom they had never really spoken
the truth.
Fast-forward to the election of our
first African-American president and the
ecstatic, enthusiastic world wide celebra-
tion of his inauguration. As many people
have said on interviews and in newspaper
columns, I never thought I would live to
disabled veteran-owned business enterprise?
Do you understand how to find and bid on
government contracts?
There is a parallel tract of things you
need to do to best position your com-
pany to take advantage of these oppor-
tunities. First, get certified. Then second,
identify which government buyers are likely
to need your company’s products or ser-
vices, and plan your marketing strategies
to reach these buyers! You want to be sure
your targeted government buyers know
your company and are familiar with your
products and services before the funds from
the American Recovery and Reinvestment
Act begin flowing. Here at Mission Com-
munity Services Corporation, we have the
resources and connections to help you
prepare to take advantage of these govern-
ment contracting opportunities. Call or
visit us today.
Andrea Zeller, Executive Director of Mission
Community Services (MCSC), coordinates
Women’s Business Partners (WBP) to ensure
all community resources are leveraged and
optimized to support entrepreneurial women.
WBP serves everyone interested in establishing
self-sufficiency through small business owner-
ship. WBP can take you step by step towards
success and can help those who speak only
Spanish. Visit www.MCSCorp.org or call 595-
1357 to find out more.
see this day. As I gazed at my TV on Jan-
uary 20th, 2009, and I looked at the faces
representing the diversity of our coun-
try, I thought about the hundreds of peo-
ple who had been in my trainings over the
years and the emotional and shocking sto-
ries they shared. I felt the excitement all
of those people must have been feeling on
that day. Their deep understanding and
appreciation for this momentous time in
history had to be huge. I’m sure they, like
I, felt the dream of Martin Luther King,
Jr. was beginning to be realized and that a
major shift had occurred in our country, as
President Obama said. My hope is that the
countless tears of joy that have flowed from
so many eyes since his election will mark
the true beginning to the end of the unfair,
inhumane treatment of those different from
ourselves. In the words of Dr. King, “...that
we will (finally) be judged by the content
of our character and not the color of our
skin.”
Roberta Youtan Kay, former Marriage and
Family Therapist, has a private practice as a
Life Coach. She specializes in Cross-Cultural
Relationships and also works with issues spe-
cific to the Boomer Generation. Roberta can
be reached at 805.929-5574 or by email at you-
tankay@sbcglobal.net.
March & April 2009 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press
Beyond Stereotypes
By Heather Mendel
When my husband and I were married
thirty years ago, I inherited the role of ‘reb-
betzin’ that came with marrying a rabbi.
When he proposed, he asked me to think
about what this role would mean and how,
to a certain extent, our lives, and those of
our children, would become more public.
What he did not foresee, or certainly did
not warn me of, was the amusing comment
that, over the years, has continued to amaze
me: “That’s funny, you don’t look like a rab-
bi’s wife.” Always said (and received) with
a smile, these few words have always left
me bemused as I am not sure what a rabbi’s
wife looks like and why I do not fit some
preconceived notion. If the same people,
casually met, would have been aware of my
outspoken and passionate interests in femi-
nism and spirituality, they may have been
convinced that I definitely don’t sound like
a rabbi’s wife! This comment has certainly
served as a good introduction to my consid-
ering the role of stereotypes in our lives.  order feels like to the person dealing with
Surface and substance—where does
one begin and the other end? Our physi-
cal appearance; apparent strength or weak-
nesses; our gender, race, and nationality; the
clothing, colors, and adornments we chose
to wear—all are taken in instantly by those
we meet and filtered through a perceptive
lens that has evolved within them through
their life’s experience. Each of us operate in
the same way, and the more tied we are to
the egoic mind, as described by Tolle, the
more we assume that our perceptions of
others, gained in this way, are valid.
Such superficial coverings, including the
personality traits we show to the world, con-
ceal, in varying degrees, the essence of who
we are—the former, where our individual-
ity is found and the latter where our simil-
itude resides in the identical divine sparks
that animates each human being as children
of One God, splendid in our diversity.
What is not quite so obvious when we
first meet, is the intangible information we
intuit vibrationally. In an unconscious state,
we are unaware that we take in information
on many levels and that surface impressions
are intricately tied to our own inner voice.
So often our first impressions have more to
do with ourselves than the person we are
meeting.  which we each view our lives will assist
It is interesting to view all the sub-
groups we can identify with in terms of
race, nationality, roles, gender, and sexual
preferences (to name just a few) and then to
think of the stereotypes that abound these
Volunteerism: Obama Style
By Matt Lombardini
Recently a Food Drive took place though
out San Luis Obispo and Northern Santa
Barbara Counties to honor the little known
Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service.
“O.K. Another food drive,” you say. “Been
there, done that.” Well, not exactly.
From January 17th to the 19th, a small
group of residents answered the call by then
President-Elect Obama to honor the Martin
Luther King, Jr. holiday through a national
“Day of Service” first introduced by the
Clinton Administration in 1994. The group
decided to conduct a food drive, but, wait a
minute, it wasn’t just any food drive, it was
a food drive “community-organizing style.”
This style is the type of grassroots activism
and action that elected President Obama -
regular folks making a difference.
As community organizers, we
approached Wendy Lewis, Volunteer Coor-
dinator of the Food Bank Coalition of San
Luis Obispo with the idea of a door-to-door
food drive throughout the County. The
neighbor-to-neighbor appeal is something
that we used to develop relationships and
groupings. Do they apply to us? Instantly
we recognize where we match and more
importantly, where we don’t.  ducing me to the path of yoga as a child,
When I was training to become a speech
and hearing therapist in what seems now to
have been a separate lifetime ago, each ther-
apist-in-training had to agree, for a period
of 2 week and in all situations, to ‘become’
a stutterer to know what this speech dis-
it. It was a humbling experience indeed.
Ask any woman who chooses to wear the
hijab in Western society, and especially post
9/11, how her choice affects the reaction of
strangers in the streets, or its effects on the
initial moments of meeting someone not
of her faith, for the first time? What of the
elderly, or those in wheelchairs, who expe-
rience invisibility as strangers address who-
ever accompanies them rather than talk
directly to them?
One of the many joys of having Presi-
dent Obama in office, is that the barrier
of race has cracked and is crumbling. For
the first time, many have been able to see
through their own limiting stereotype to
the essence of the amazing man who now
leads our country and the world. His mete-
oric rise, a great gift to us all, has cracked
open the imprisoning national lens that has
separated us, one from another.
How do we deal with difference?
How much trust do we have in stereo-
types? How much of our assessment of
others is tainted because we are unaware
or unable to see beyond the surface and
the touch the substance of one another?
Surely widening our perspective and
becoming conscious of the lens through
us to connect in more meaningful ways.
B’shalom
Heather Mendel’s website is
www.dancinginthefootstepsofeve.com
empower people to action during our work
for President Obama. We told her what our
target was and that we would organize and
coordinate the event for her.
Well, we did just that. Over 25,000
pounds of food and $4,000 in cash dona-
tions were collected for the Food Bank. We
also approached Kathy Hayes, Director of
operations of the Food Bank of Santa Bar-
bara County, with the same plan of action.
In Santa Maria they took in over 2,000
pounds of food and $1,000 in donations as
well. Volunteers working on the ground put
in an average of just 4-6 hours each.
According to Ms. Lewis, the Food Bank
Coalition had never experienced this type
of result in such a short period of time
with very little effort on their part except to
receive and stock their shelves. It was signif-
icant that the community approached them
with the idea rather than the organizing
trying to engage the community. This type
of organizing, mobilizing, and empowering
people around a specific cause is an exam-
ple of how effective community organizing
at the grass roots level can be.
The Business of Yoga
By Yvonne Duran
“I give thanks to my mother . . . for intro-
her wisdom and guidance along the way,
and for embarking on this journey we
undertake hand in hand.” –April Thyrring
I majored in psychology and child devel-
opment, so “business” is usually the fur-
thest thing from my mind. But then I took
a class at Yoga Village, owned and managed
by the mother/daughter team of Connie
Murphy and April Thyrring. As a mother
of a young daughter, who finds the inter-
personal dynamics of daily tooth-brushing
equal to negotiating peace treaties, my curi-
osity about such a business relationship was
peaked.
Connie, a yoga teacher since 1980 with a
degree in finance, always wanted to have her
own yoga studio. When her daughter April,
a single mother of two, decided to pursue
her yoga certification, Connie moved to
the Central Coast to help. The yoga studio
became a joint venture, and Connie and
April were in business.
As partners, they make major decisions
together, divide duties based on personal
strengths, and use their differences to their
advantage. For example, Connie’s cost-effec-
tive perspective has been balanced by April’s
eco-friendly perspective, better aligning
their practice with their philosophy. They
both note an intuitive communication style
of effective mind reading and finishing each
other’s sentences that comes in handy when
getting a job done.
But how is the infamously intimate
and potentially tenuous mother/daughter
dynamic handled in a business setting? For
Connie, it has meant stepping back more
as a mother. The mother/daughter part-
nership is multi-dimensional (the mother/
daughter hats don’t disappear) and so she is
more cognizant of what and how she com-
Our organization, named Central Coast
United for Change, is one where commu-
nity organizing is the model in which we
help ordinary people through empower-
ment via resources and training to help oth-
ers and to evoke real change. Community
organizing can also be used to bring vari-
ous existing organizations together to work
toward common goals, such as the allevia-
tion of hunger.
In the coming months and years the
model of community organizing may very
well become the popular method for peo-
ple to connect and help each other dur-
ing these trying times. Our dependence
on the government and non-profit sectors
will no doubt have to subside, as funding
for those various agencies becomes increas-
ingly unable to meet the rising demand
for resources and services. So, step up, get
involved, and feel the power in helping oth-
ers. The rewards are great for you and your
community.
Matt Lombardini can be reached at www.
centralcoastunitedforchange.org and email:
ccuc@centralcoastunitedforchange.org
Body&Soul 5
Photo by duchesssa
municates. (I guess, “Because I said so” and
“Because I’m the Mom” don’t lead to com-
promise.) For April, it’s a true application of
having conscious union in relationships and
being present with love and compassion.
She says staying mindful of these yoga prin-
ciples helps influence the business interac-
tions with her mom accordingly.
Additionally, Connie believes they bring
their love of each other and yoga into their
business. For example, because April prac-
ticed yoga as a child with her mom as do
her children with her, they offer a yoga class
where families can practice yoga together as
a bonding experience. Then there’s the tea
and refreshments served after class. It’s hard
to deny the sense of nurturing experienced
when someone feeds you. A beneficial busi-
ness practice for their family is that Connie
can support April’s role as a mother with
flexible scheduling and division of labor.
Both women concur that they have
grown in their mother/daughter relation-
ship through birthing a business. This
March, they celebrate their one-year anni-
versary. Any parent who has ever thrown
an over-the-top birthday party for an oth-
erwise oblivious one-year-old knows the
party is not for the babe, but for the parents
who made it through that first amazing,
though at times challenging, year. It’s evi-
dent in talking with Connie and April that
their bond and regard for one another is
strong. Whether it’s the yoga or just them,
I’m going to keep bringing my daughter to
family yoga with me. She loves it, and it’s
significantly more mutually enjoyable than
the mandatory practice of good dental
hygiene.
Yoga Village is located at 132 W. Branch
Street, Arroyo Grande (located behind the
Village Center). Feel free to call or visit their
website: www.arroyograndeyoga.com or 805-
474-9884.
Midwifery
Continued from page 3
Board Exam as administered by the Medi-
cal Board of California. As with any health
professional, licensure is contingent upon
the completion of continuing education
units at conferences, workshops, and pro-
fessional meetings. This ensures a midwife’s
training and skills are based on current
research, standards of care, and techniques.
Licensed Midwives (LMs) are trained in
all aspects of pregnancy, labor, birth, and
postpartum care as well as newborn care
through the first six weeks. Their training
includes certification in neonatal resusci-
tation and adult CPR, and they carry oxy-
gen and medications to treat and prevent
certain conditions related to birth. Addi-
tionally, LMs are capable of performing
well-woman health exams including man-
ual breast exams and annual Paps. They can
provide contraceptive and family planning
counseling. Clearly, their training ensures
continuity of care throughout a woman’s
reproductive life and beyond.
For further information contact  Holis-
tic Midwifery Care: 805-462-8821 or e-mail
midwife93465@yahoo.com
6 Body&Soul
Becoming a Giver to Life
By Laura Grace
The best way to find yourself
is to lose yourself in the
service of others.
  - Gandhi
The Baha’i faith believes that God is Love
and Love is God and that we’re here to
express love. Being of service is an expres-
sion of love. It’s the highest form of giv-
ing. It joins us to the heart of another and
reminds us that we are all connected. When
we give unconditionally to others, we are
actually giving to ourselves.
At the Circle of Spiritual Enlighten-
ment, we have a division called the “Circle
of Selfless Service.” In Sanskrit, “self-less
service” is called seva. Gurumayi Chidvilas-
ananda once said that it is seva that acceler-
ates the sadhana [spiritual path] of a seeker
and lights the path to God. Within the Cir-
cle of Selfless Service, people are offered a
pathway to tithe their time and talent to
those in need. The joy and fulfillment expe-
rienced while giving never ceases to amaze
the “giver.” They quickly discover that giv-
ing—without any expectation—allows
them to unearth their own true spiritual
nature.
We also have a saying that “It’s God-
Like to Give,” meaning the nature of God
is unconditional love and infinite expres-
sion. Givers are joyful servants and know
the meaning of genuine love in ways that
others cannot. They realize that giving and
receiving are the same, inseparably joined
together—like inhaling and exhaling. Giv-
ers understand that our essence is love and
that it is best expressed through seva: unin-
terrupted loving service.
Giving, when done with a pure heart,
enriches our lives in many seen and unseen
ways. It opens the channel for abundance
to flow in every area of our lives. With
the amount of fear, doubt, and worry that
people are feeling about the economy, the
temptation is to constrict. Yet, this is not
Friendship Confirmed
By Jill Turnbow
I am fortunate in that I didn’t need to wait
until my last dying breath before having my
life flash before my eyes. I just had to sign
up for Facebook. If you haven’t discovered
this latest obsession, you simply must…
unless, of course, you are in the Witness
Protection Program or hiding from your
past. Because believe me, with one sim-
ple click of the mouse, your entire life will
come flooding forward.
At first, I signed up simply to connect
with a couple of business acquaintances.
But from that first “poke,” the doors were
thrown open: friends from school, from
earlier careers, from theatre companies...
all popping up one by one, eager to recon-
nect. It only took a few days for hundreds
of friends to find me, many I have not seen
or heard from in decades. And now they are
posting grade school photos, bringing up
long-lost memories, and generally parading
my past in front of me. It’s a kick, really.
It’s been a joy to realize how many circles I
have traveled in throughout my life.
Yet, I must say I am fascinated in this
need to update your “status” at all hours
of the day. I believe my generation is pick-
ing up the younger generation’s uninhib-
ited belief that every moment of our day is
a milestone and should be shared with the
world. I have a wonderful, interesting life,
the time to succumb to fear. We are being
presented with an opportunity to know
that true abundance comes from within.
Abundance is not something we acquire; it’s
something we tune into.
One step toward tuning into your true
abundant nature is to practice giving your
time, talent, or treasure. For example, if
financially you are feeling a sense of lack,
consider tithing your time or talent to
your favorite non-profit. It doesn’t matter
how you give but what you give and how
you give it. The “what” can be your energy,
support, and attention. The “how” is your
intention, attitude, and awareness.
There is a saying that it is easy to be a
saint on a mountaintop, but the real proof
comes when you return to the marketplace.
Giving, when performed without condi-
tions, is a pathway to awakening. As we
cultivate an attitude of service, we learn
how to make all of our life’s work service to
God, and all aspects of our life become rich
with meaning. Ultimately, we come to real-
ize that serving humanity and serving God
are one and the same.
Laura V. Grace is the Spiritual Leader for
the Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment in San
Luis Obispo (www.spiritualcircle.org), an
interfaith spiritual community. Laura is also
a teacher and spiritual director, and a mem-
ber of Spiritual Directors International. A
syndicated columnist for more than twenty
publications, Laura has penned 200 articles on
spiritual growth and is the author of the books
Gifts of the Soul and The Intimate Soul.
but I’m pretty sure the fact that I am clean-
ing the toilet or inspecting the dog for ticks
does not need its own declaration. (by the
way, I never do either of those things!) But
I’ll play along for now. Because I’m lucky
that a great percentage of my friends are
comedians and their status updates are
hilarious.
If you have absolutely no idea what I
am talking about, don’t be afraid. Facebook
is fun. But you can always tell who is new
to Facebook. They will throw hypothetical
objects at you, subject you to quizzes and
surveys, and poke and poke and poke. Then
after about a week, all that fades and the
questions begin. “How are you?” “Where
are you?” “What are you?” I love it. And
I love that at my age, I can finally answer
those questions.
Women’s Press | March & April 2009 | womenspress.slo@gmail.com
Navigating Life’s Passages
With Traditional Chinese Medicine
By Clare B. Lowery L.Ac.
Let’s face it. In life, we as women must
navigate many transitions. Not just  minor
transitions, like the seasonal changes in
California, but major ones: girlhood to
womanhood; a child’s body to a woman’s;
menses and fertility, pregnancy, and meno-
pause. On top of all of these natural transi-
tions, we have the pressures of modern life,
slightly disconnected with nature and nat-
ural rhythms. We worry about our weight,
financial security, relationships, children,
aging, and on and on.   through TCM treatment, can avoid unnec-
Accepting that this is all part of the pre-
cious lives we are given, it behooves us to
find ways to ease these transitions, to navi-
gate with awareness and find tools to stay
centered when the storms hit. Fortunately,
humans have been around for thousands of
years and ancient healing systems are still
available to keep us in balance.
Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)
is one of the most comprehensive forms
of natural medicine available today. Based
on the concept of the dynamic balance
between Yin and Yang, TCM has the tools
to help women maintain balance through
all of the natural changes we experience in
life. TCM combines acupuncture, herbal
medicine, diet, exercise, and lifestyle guid-
ance to maintain optimal health.  She has been practicing since 1990. Recently
The ancient Chinese viewed the body
as a microcosm of the universe. The body
is composed of elements, as is the earth.
Keeping these elements in the proper rela-
Creating Change
By MaryAine Cherry
If I loved him enough, he’d take care of me.
Right?! Several years ago I quit again. I quit
another man that needed to keep me small
by controlling and abusing me. I thought
long and hard about giving up my home,
security, retirement, the American dream,
and the monster R.V. Can you actually pic-
ture me in RV parks? I couldn’t either. I just
didn’t fit in.
There were two or more personalities
living in my body; the ‘in the box’ quiet,
housewife model and the fun, spirited, and
smart lady that my friends and clients knew
when I was ‘out of the box.’ My wonderful
enlightened woman friends were supportive
free thinking types and somehow threaten-
ing to the man.
“Security” meant my choices were lim-
ited and bland, a concession. I had mate-
rial things, but my spirit was dying. There
were good aspects, but for the price of my
spirit, they just didn’t measure up. Some of
my choices are limited now financially, but
the difference is I am not trading my soul
anymore.
Several times in my life I’ve made the
huge decision to become single. It’s scary,
exhilarating, lonely, and great to make my
own way in peace, quiet, creative joy, and
passion. It’s funny—except for sleeping
alone, I’m really not more alone than I was
when I was married.
Divorce freedom is painful, but some
of my biggest accomplishments have also
come with a high cost: pain. In visualiz-
ing, some of my good feeling anchors are
the births of my children—glorious, loving,
and painful, and hiking to the top of Half
Dome in my forties—amazing at the top
and painful getting there.
Photo by channah
tionship to each other keeps our bodies
functioning at its highest potential. Chi-
nese Healers of ancient days observed the
changes that the body goes through from
birth to death and developed many reliable
methods of treatment with needles, herbs,
massage, and dietary modifications. 
If the goal is to stay healthy, balanced,
and therefore content through life’s pas-
sages, it is nice to know that there is help
out there.  TCM offers a welcome balance
to Western Medicine. Women in particu-
lar can benefit from natural medicine and,
essary medical procedures.
Traditional Chinese Medicine today
consists of acupuncture treatment with tiny
stainless steel needles. Insertion is painless
and once the needles are in specific acu-
puncture points on the body the enhanced
flow of energy often induces a feeling of
euphoria. Herbal remedies are prescribed
and tailored to a patient’s needs. Dietary
and lifestyle guidance, according to prin-
ciples of balance, are also prescribed. This
holistic system engages the patient with the
practitioner in a dynamic relationship of
discovery to optimal health.
Clare B. Lowery L.Ac. is a Licensed Acu-
puncturist with a Masters Degree in TCM.
relocated to San Luis Obispo, she may be
reached at 805-541-6772.  
A well kept secret is that women are par-
ticularly powerful because we live on a fem-
inine planet. We have the ability to tap into
the creative power of Mother Earth anytime
we desire. We create energy for others.
And so woman need more self love and
appreciation. It is an internal awareness
that is ignited by one’s spirit. We teach oth-
ers how to treat us. That means if we have
respect for ourselves, we will receive respect
from others. Natural boundaries will come
easily as we actually live being true to our-
selves.
Women are amazing beings; we can
move mountains when we need to and most
of us have at some time our lives. Today I
am birthing a new intention of the woman
I am. Collectively we can trade in the old
paradigm and use our incredible hearts, the
power of intent and love with our resilient
feminine expressive energy to create joy and
peace. We have options and resources to
remember. We are creators and we can be
the change we wish to see.
MaryAine Cherry MRET, CMT
RETurn to JOY! Tomorrow is created by
your thoughts today! www.return2joy.com
805-773-4475
March & April 2009 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press
Voices Around the Table: How do you make your home a sanctuary?
Susan Lynn Hoffman
In answer to what  I have found a very
provocative question, I’ve been think-
ing why isn’t my home a sanctuary? And,
what does sanctuary even mean? I used
to  believe it meant safety, where no one
or nothing I didn’t want in my life could
get at me. But  turning sixty this past year
has  shifted my point of view. My mother
died when she was sixty, and on my birth-
day I chose to be alone in my house, refus-
ing offers from friends to celebrate, refusing
my own dreamy desire to be in Santa Fe or
even Spain on that day. My birthday came
and went  quietly in my house, my safe
zone, my sanctuary. But  now, approach-
ing my birthday this year, I don’t think that
is what  sanctuary means anymore. What
possibly makes my home a sanctuary, and
always has, is books, even when I was a lit-
tle girl  holding tight to  fairy tales  while I
slept. The words  which are imagined  or
researched and  then printed  on  the
blank  page  become a  spiritual  experience
where my “home” is the whole world and all
that is in it, whether safe or unsafe. If sanc-
tuary  is  about compassion and wisdom,
which I hope it to be as I grow older, it is
found  in my  home in  crowded bookcases,
stacked on tabletops, tucked under my pil-
low,  or held  lovingly in my hands, with
gratitude for learning something new.
Jeanie Greensfelder
While I like to think my home takes care
of me, it does take preparation on my part
to enjoy that illusion. Recliners please me:
one indoors
and a fold-
ing one out-
side where I
can watch the
birds at the
feeder and experience my backyard as a liv-
ing room. Familiar art and fun mementos
provide a dependable backdrop. Supplying
food, quiet, music, and exercise space allow
me to feel comforted and cared for.
Katy Meter
My home became my sanctuary once
I learned to allow in it all the people and
things that make me peaceful and blessed
and keep out everything else. There is no
other place I have this allowance.
Megan Selby
As long as my bed is made, the rest can
fall apart: that makes me feel peaceful in my
house. I accomplished something.
Kristen Tara McNamara
I try to furnish my home in a way that’s
inviting to those I love and comfortable
to me. My home is an external extension
of my personality—always getting better,
more comfortable, more secure.
Christine Dewart
Fill your home with the things you love!
I have myself a designated cozy area where
I like to curl up and read a good book, on
an amazing bed dressed in flannel and lay-
ered with blankets, with an explosion of
photos and drawings on my wall that make
me smile. I, of course, have a radio preset to
country and hip-hop/r&b, and my Ipod is
packed with a variety of playlists—to match
whatever mood I am in. A home should
also always have a social area—in my home
the kitchen seems to be
the place where
my roomies
and I hang out
the most. The
kitchen is where
we start our
mornings with breakfast talk and wind
down the day with story-telling over dinner.
Lastly, one must always have flowers—my
roomies and I like to keep a vase of fresh,
brightly colored flowers on our dining
room table to keep our spirits up; there is
something about flowers—especially the
pretty yellow ones, that make you feel good
inside.
Sally Demerest
When I was single and lived alone,
I made my home feel special by trying to
keep it uncluttered and by doing things like
burning incense and candles. Now, I can’t
really do those things because the clutter
keeps coming back, my husband doesn’t
like incense, and the candles don’t seem
safe with a family and a dog. So now? My
home is a sanctuary because my children
call it home, because it’s where I can sneak
into their room at night and watch them
breathe. My home is a sanctuary because it
is where my children feel safe.
Sarah Taylor Maggelet
I take a long hot shower at night and
settle into freshly laundered sheets to read a
good book in peace.
Denise Gibbons
I try to keep it clean because if it is dirty
I stress out.
Sadie Johann
I make my home my sanctuary by keep-
ing everything that stresses me out in my
car (I should mention that I don’t have kids,
so I’m not leaving them in the car).
Laurel White
I don’t add much to my home to “make
it” a sanctuary. It is my sanctuary because
that is where I have all the things I need:
My husband and my children.
Jen Kaplan
Voices 7
The favorite part of my home is our
bedroom. Our bed is where both my chil-
dren eventually wind up in the middle of
the night, both curled up around me and
my husband. So, my bed is sacred to me.
To make it a sanctuary, I make sure I have
the softest sheets I can afford and have a few
scented candles in the room. So all night
long we sleep in a soft, cozy bed filled with
the warmth of our children. That is a sanc-
tuary to me.
Leslie St. John
I keep it clean. I take baths. I have books
in every corner and windows to look out.
Jennifer Ashley
My home is not often my sanctuary—it’s
usually the place where I feel weighed down
with expectations to provide for my family
(by folding laundry, loading the dishwasher,
or cooking some semblance of an edible
meal).  Instead, I find sacred alone time at
a cafe or the beach where I can just think,
read, write, and be.
Melanie Senn
I really feel we’ve made our home a
sanctuary by not having a television. Okay,
we DO have one, but it’s tucked down in
the basement in a cozy corner, and we don’t
have cable, so we just use it to watch mov-
ies. Upstairs, in our main living space, we
have a big cozy couch and chair, but we
spend most of our time on the floor. We
have two big rugs, which are perfect for
lounging, stretching, reading, and playing;
that’s where the action is. When I was grow-
ing up, the T.V. was always the focal point
and always on. I don’t miss it.
For the next issue: In these stressed times,
what do women of the world need now?
Please send responses to
womenspress.slo@gmail.com
8 Women’sStories
Presents A Monthly Series of Spiritual Workshops
Temple Beth David, 10180 Los Osos Valley Road, San Luis Obispo
Third Thursday of Each Month • 7-9 pm • $20
Contact womenspress.slo@gmail.com or (805) 541-6874 for more information.
March Workshop
Embodied Sexuality
In this workshop, we will explore how
ancient wisdom may support the integra-
tion of a powerful and authentic sexual
identity. Gentle movement and journaling
will be incorporated into this workshop.
Please bring a journal and wear comfort-
able clothing.
Bailey Drechsler is a professor in the
Human Development Department at Cuesta
College. She has been leading workshops in
women’s healing and empowerment, multicul-
tural sensibilities, and mindful conflict resolu-
tion since 1987.
Come to the SLO Library on Palm
Street on Saturday, March 7, 5:30 PM
to view 90 minutes of short films by,
for, and about women: LUNAFEST!
Cost is $8 ($6 for students)
Proceeds go to Women’s Press and
Cal Poly Women’s Programs and Ser-
vices. Go to www.lunafest.org to view
the trailer.
Save the World
April Workshop
BEING vs. DOING: Meditation for
our Awakening World
Come spend an evening in inspiration,
conversation, and practice, exploring how
BEING rather than DOING just a few
moments each day can change your life and
transform our world. Meditation is simple.
You will leave this workshop with the tools
to begin or re-energize a personal medita-
tion practice.
 
Nancy Ballinger has over 25 yrs. experience
with her own meditation journey and has
lovingly shared these teachings for the past 10
years through workshops and weekly medita-
tion groups. She is the Spiritual Director of
the AWAKENING Interfaith Spiritual Com-
munity in Morro Bay.
Please join us for meditation at 9:30am each Sunday before the service
Sunday School Provided: Educational and Fun
1500 Lizzie St., Room J-2, Adult School, San Luis Obispo
E-Mail: spiritualcircle@spiritualcircle.org
Please join us for a celebration of expanding consciousness and love.
Women’s Press | March & April 2009 | womenspress.slo@gmail.com
Unsung Heroine
Betty Winholtz:
Advocating a Broader Ecology
By Berta Parrish
We all care about ecology, but how much
of our time, energy, and talent are we will-
ing to commit to it? Defined as “the totality
or pattern of relations between organisms
and their environment” ecology is coun-
cilwoman, activist, and educator Betty
Winholtz’s driving force. She embodies a
dedication to enhancing the ecology of her
community and county. “I’ve always been
interested in habitat—specifically hous-
ing. Humans and animals both need shel-
ter, and they dramatically affect each other,
along with trees and plants.” However, she
adds, “We don’t completely understand this
interdependence of all living things. We’ve
the resources, but we manage them poorly.”
Helping people to wisely manage their
private and public resources could be Bet-
ty’s mission statement. Surrounded by
the events, petitions, and concerns of her
father’s city planner role, she learned ser-
vanthood and civic responsibility early.
From her first job as a church youth direc-
tor, to Graceland College’s (in Iowa) hous-
ing and program development department,
to academic tutoring, and to Morro Bay’s
City Council, Betty has encouraged peo-
ple to take responsibility for improving the
quality of their lives. She stresses that “Peo-
ple need to get involved, to influence what
... looking for a spiritual change?
The Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment is an interfaith community
dedicated to celebrating diversity and honoring
the spirit that connects all things.
Spiritual Leader: Laura V. Grace
Sunday Services 10:00am
For more info: 805.541.1963
Website: www.spiritualcircle.org
happens in their communities. Look at
what people have accomplished with Har-
mony Headlands, the East/West Ranch,
and other groups, such as CAPE (Citizens
Alliance on Power Plant Expansion).” Even
the San Luis Obispo Council of Govern-
ments has recognized her service and strong
commitment to environmentally-sensitive
problem-solving.
Betty is particularly respected and appre-
ciated for her tireless efforts to save the trees
from certain unwise practices in the county
state parks. She believes that “Nature is
everywhere. And we can learn so much if
we watch, listen, and sit with it. Trees are
the life force. They attract the wildlife, espe-
cially the birds, that we so enjoy. We must
speak for those aspects of our environment
that cannot speak for themselves.” Follow-
ing her passion, she brings compassion and
a keen intellect to fight for the preservation
of the local and regional natural habitat.
Betty Winholtz proves that one per-
son can make a huge difference in the way
things work in our society. One does not
have to be a Citizen Advocate like Betty to
impact a small part of the vast, intercon-
nected web of life. If we each try to improve
the strand that we most care about, where
our heart’s longing meets the world’s need,
we can build a healthier ecology and every-
one and everything benefits.
March & April 2009 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press Women’sStories 9

The Woman’s World Our Feminist President

By Hannah Hewes-Clark
I’m in high school. High School: the most
notorious place for “girl drama.” Drama
about who stole whose boyfriend, who’s
wearing the hottest dress at Prom, who acted
like a slut at the last party, and which clique
rules the campus. All women have been
there, have seen the cruelty between females
during the ripe ages between fourteen and
eighteen. Teens claim, “Ugh, I hate drama,”
and yet they pursue it, find any reason to
gossip about a fellow student. I can’t imag-
ine that this is a generational issue; movies
and novels portray the same situations. Fur-
thermore, it is becoming more popular for
older women to be depicted as highly dra-
matic people, as evident in such shows as
“The Real Housewives of Orange County,”
“The O.C.,” and “Desperate Housewives.”
In these programs, women are ruthless and
just as catty as any fifteen-year-old who is
running low on self-esteem.
For this reason, I have to assume that
conflict between women is built into human
nature; it is natural for us to feel resent-
ment, jealousy, anger, and hatred toward
each other. While I’d like to full-heartedly
believe that women should support each
other at all costs, an inevitable competition
sometimes drives us apart. What would
really happen if we all stopped “hating on”
each other? Would we turn against men?
Would our social cliques fall apart? These
are questions that modern females find
themselves asking in their everyday girl-to-
girl relationships. In this two-part series on
friendship between young women, I’d like
to explore the ways some groups of young
women avoid excess competition while fos-
tering stronger, better friendships
Although I am acutely aware of the
“drama” that permeates the cliques at my
school, I try to exclude myself from such
trivial behavior. If someone were to ask me
if I belong to a “clique,” I’d initially say no,
but I do have a close group of girlfriends.
Let’s assume a clique is a group that pre-
vents others from joining. From an outside
perspective, it is easy to label my group of
friends as a clique, because although we do
include plenty of people who haven’t known
us since kindergarten, our foundation took
root as five year olds and naturally no one
else can know as much as we do about each
other. We’ve been best friends since kinder-
garten, and every year we become closer,
more aware of each other’s individual per-
sonalities, and more accepting of our differ-
ences. In this sense, I wouldn’t define our
group as a clique, but simply a very close
and unique group of friends.
In our early years, it felt as if we were
at constant battle with one another, always
getting into random tiffs about nonsense
give each other strength and confidence; it
was also the year that I consciously became
aware of associating my self-identity with
my girlfriends.
It felt like we were so in tune with each
other; we weren’t clones of one another,
but our differences matched up so per-
fectly. We were able to support each other
in everything, and we backed each other
up no matter what. Our isolation from the
otherwise raucous high school community
allowed our unique qualities to find their
way out, and individually, our self confi-
dence increased. When around each other,
which was most of the time, we didn’t feel
like we had to fake anything. We knew that
we weren’t being judged, and we felt totally
accepted in our little group. Junior year,
we had the tools and experience to reach
out to more people. We started socializing
with other groups and, as our sexual identi-
ties flustered about, we began talking with
boys more. Despite our exposure to the ups
and downs of the high school social scene, I
still felt just as connected to my girlfriends.
They were still a huge part of my identity,
and I found myself growing even closer to
them, because as we all grew and matured
and changed, we watched each other, and
did our best to understand each other’s
changes.
Now, as a senior, I know that these
girls—excuse me—women have played an
enormous role in shaping who I am today.
They gave me the opportunity to, first, look
into myself, then to feel comfortable allow-
ing my natural characteristics to shine, and
finally, to explore my interests and to set
goals. Although I know that I will never
have to compete against them, and that they
will always have my best interests in mind,
it’s hard to say how we’ve accomplished this
when most other relationships between
females indicate otherwise. I also know that
I have watched these young ladies trans-
form. Each has her own individual talents
and qualities that make me so incredibly
proud to call them my friends.
Leaving my friends next year is prob-
ably going to be one of the most difficult
days of my life, and I’m fully aware that I’ll
miss them immensely. I’m also aware that I
might never encounter such unique friend-
ships with other females. I’m scared of the
future, but I know that I’m ready for it
because of what these women have given
me. When looking at my own relationships
with other females, I’ve found that, yes, I’ve
learned from the self-degrading mistakes
of girls at my school, but I’ve learned the
most about being an independent, strong,
and confident woman from the friends I’ve
carried with me. And that’s the best kind
of female relationship—when one woman
can find role models, sisters, daughters, and
By Cassandra J. Carlson
Since the inauguration of Barack Obama,
the world has focused on the first 100 days
of one of the world’s most prestigious posi-
tions. Currently, a cloud of recession lies
over America while unemployment rates
rise. Americans are struggling to pay for
adequate health care, higher education, and
even food. Those most hurt by the economy
will be of course the poor, but the economy
will also impact women the most. But this
isn’t just a national issue; it is a global one.
Obama’s new arrival brings forth an era
of urgency for furthering women’s rights,
especially since the political agenda under
the leadership of former President George
W. Bush was slim and barely included a
feminist’s agenda.
A recent cover of Ms. Magazine shows
Obama in a superman-like pose, ripping
at his suit jacket, revealing his t-shirt with
bold white letters that reads: “This is what a
feminist looks like.”
So does Obama truly earn the title of
feminist?
With recent legislation pushed by the
Obama administration, Democrats hope to
take the country in a new direction.
While the passage to expand state chil-
dren’s health insurance program has satisfied
many feminists throughout the country, the
economic stimulus package, totaling $787
billion, lacks the support of some women’s
rights activists because most of the money
is allocated for roads and infrastructure,
instead of social programs.
But Obama has made direct action
toward women’s rights in his the first two
months as president.
With the help of the majority of mostly
Democrats, Obama passed the Lilly Ledbet-
ter Act to end pay discrimination based on
gender by amending the statutory limita-
tions period. This enactment gives women
a voice to speak up about inequalities in the
workplace.
Although the Ledbetter Act does fur-
ther women’s rights in the work place, it
does not close the gender pay gap com-
pletely. Employers are not forced to disclose
every employees salary, so employees can-
not gauge what they are compensated for
compared to their counterparts. A call to
transparency would lead to fair pay in the
workplace, but regulation must also hap-
pen.
Fairness in the workplace is not a recent
issue. Over the last 45 years, an Equal Pay
Act of the United States of 1963 has had lit-
tle to no enforcement.
Now, as the Ledbetter Act creates new
legal opportunites for women, there needs
to be provisions made to secure that women
FLUTE INSTRUCTION
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bonnie@bonnierichan.com
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make an equal amount in the United States
and elsewhere. This is a fight where women
will have to demand fairness and transpar-
ency.
This will further women’s agendas by
having legal protection against discrimina-
tory pay practices; that is, if they get the
job.
In Obama’s cabinet alone, only three
women make up the 15-member cabi-
net, and it’s possible they’ll add Governor
Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas as Health and
Human Services Secretary (HHS) since
Tom Dashchle’s recently withdrew his name
for consideration.
This was one woman who was also
talked about in the blogosphere as being a
possible contender for Obama’s vice presi-
dent last year. As of press time, Obama had
not made a final decision on Sebelius as
HHS.
On a global level, Obama rescinded the
Global Gag rule on his third day in office.
The rule, reinstated by the Bush adminis-
tration, barred U.S. funding foreign health
care organizations that provided abortions
or abortion counseling and legalizing abor-
tion in their own countries.
Obama acknowledged the gag rule’s
limitations on free speech, women’s health,
democracy, and healthcare workers rights.
“For too long, international family plan-
ning assistance has been used as a political
wedge issue, the subject of a back and forth
debate that has served only to divide us,”
Obama said in a statement released by the
White House. “I have no desire to continue
this stale and fruitless debate.”
The global gag rule, which has been
implemented and repealed in an ever-end-
ing political tug-of-war is now solved, for
now. His policies are not without critics
and not everyone will be happy with all of
his choices.
It is a proud moment for women glob-
ally that Obama came out swinging in his
first few months in office, implementing
changes that would directly affect women
in the United States and globally. The chal-
lenges the constituency faces in the upcom-
ing downturn of the economy is hopefully
seen by President Obama. The 56 percent
of women who voted for him along with
the 49 percent of men created a want and
need for a new direction for the country.
On election day, the women created an
outstanding and satisfactory gender gap,
the seven percent gap, a strong statement
to Obama from his women voters that sup-
ported his messages at the election booth,
checking the box to the most historical
presidency yet—America’s first presidential
feminist, President Barack Obama.
Bonnie Richan
805-748-6087
Current Member:

that only third-graders would care about.
Junior high was a growing phase—like most
kids at that time, we were trying to figure
ourselves out, and our overly introspective
and mostly self-critical viewpoints separated
us. We were so worried about ourselves
that the strings that had been holding us
together momentarily loosened. By sopho-
more year, though, we were back together
as a unit. Joined, we felt like nothing could
stop us. This was the year that we began to
therapists in other women. Cat fights are
always going to be prevalent in our society,
but how can we as individuals avoid them? Clare B. Lowery L.Ac.
How do we create and develop friendships Acupuncture and Herbal Medicine
with other females that are healthy and that
make us feel empowered instead of aggres- Diet, Exercise and Lifestyle Guidance
sive or upset? These are the questions I
will address in the next article, in which I San Luis ObiSpa
will reflect more on the power of my own 4115 Vachell Lane
friendships and the observations I’ve made San Luis Obispo, CA 93401
about other female relationships.
805-541-6772
10 LocalPerspectives: Women’s History Month
Cal Poly Women’s and Gender Studies
at the SLO Public Library
By Rachel Fernflores
Professor, Cal Poly Women’s and
Gender Studies Department
For several months I have been working
with Kristine Tardiff, manager of the SLO
Public Library, on the Cal Poly Women’s
and Gender Studies (‘WGS’) lecture series
at the San Luis Obispo Public Library. In
working together, we have learned that
we share a commitment to expand and
enhance adult educational opportunities
in the county. In addition, we both believe
deeply that the best approach to thinking,
learning, and engaging in debate is one
that does not shy away from controversial
ideas. And, we agree that among the most
controversial ideas worthy of discussion in
the public forum are those that come from
feminist insight and scholarship. Thus, in
our lecture series we are showcasing five
of Cal Poly’s most experienced and knowl-
edgeable feminists.
On January 6, a crowd of over fifty peo-
ple heard Dr. Jean Williams present ideas
from her recent book, The Politics of Virgin-
ity: Abstinence in Sex Education. Without
any intended hyperbole, I thought I felt a
collective cathartic release from the audi-
ence as we listened to Dr. Williams critique
the politics and ideology of abstinence only
sex education from a feminist perspective.
The discussion was respectful, engaging,
and enlightening. It was great.
As we work our way through the rest of
A Strong Woman: Hua Anwa
By Tobey Crockett PhD
I have spent my life surrounded by women.
Having been raised by a single mother, and
attending all female schools from first grade
through my bachelor’s degree, I can truth-
fully say that I have been lucky to know
quite a few remarkable women. As a for-
mer New Yorker, growing up in the big city,
I was exposed to a wide variety of poten-
tial role models: executives, teachers, art-
ists, stockbrokers, lawyers, pastry chefs, and
moms. But among the many superb exam-
ples of feminine strength, versatility, and
sagacity that I have had the good fortune
to meet, it is a local Arroyo Grande woman
who stands out to me now: Hua Anwa, a
Metis teacher and the spiritual leader of the
Church of Empowerment, a Native Ameri-
can based community which follows in the
Medicine Way.
Hua, a long time resident of the Cen-
tral Coast, has been leading an annual cel-
ebration of the traditional Long Dance for
nearly two decades now. Falling on or about
the autumnal equinox each year and lasting
a few days, the Long Dance event gathers
together some one hundred or more women
into a great community circle of drum-
ming, singing, sitting in a sweat lodge, and
teaching that culminates in an all night cer-
emony lasting from sunset to sunrise. With
the event held on remote, private land near
Lopez Lake, both men and women partic-
ipate in the village building and the com-
munal creation of sacred space that makes
possible this highpoint of the spiritual cal-
endar. It is a mighty undertaking, requir-
ing weeks and months of advance planning,
organization, and the gathering together of
the series, there are equally interesting lec-
tures to which we look forward. On Tues-
day, March 3, Dr. Judy Saltzman-Saveker
will discuss ways in which feminists have
been critical of male dominance in religion.
On Tuesday, April 7, Dr. Camille O’Bryant
will give a presentation about Title IX in
which she will address issues pertaining to
sex discrimination in sport. And finally, on
May 5, Dr. Jean Wetzel will talk about the
role that the courtesans played in Classical
and Renaissance art, as well as in the art of
the Ming-dynasty.
As employees of county and state insti-
tutions, Kristine at the library and myself at
Cal Poly, we both feel the pinch of cutbacks
to education and learning. The library needs
more resources. In WGS, we need more
resources. And at the same time, Kristine
and I think that now is the time to be as
industrious as possible in using what we do
have. She’s got a library full of people inter-
ested in debate, ideas, and learning. I’ve got
a department full of feminist scholars with
expertise and ideas they want to bring to
the rigor of public debate. And so a lecture
series is born!
Please come to the talks, the first Tues-
day of every month, in the Community
Room at the SLO Public Library, 995 Palm
Street, 6-8 p.m. There is no charge, every-
one is welcome, and refreshments will be
served courtesy of Friends of the Library.
Visit the Cal Poly WGS web site for more
details: http://www.cla.calpoly.edu/wgs/
materials, resources, and various commu-
nity partners.
It is gift to see this strong woman open
her heart to so many and set an example of
respect, caring, and yes, deep humor as well,
for Hua is too smart to take herself too seri-
ously. She never places herself above anyone
else despite the great body of knowledge
and rich experiences which she has accu-
mulated over the years. Since she is always
open to learning more, Hua inspires loyalty
and generosity from other teachers, elders
who choose to share with her community,
which is a great benefit to us all.
Though she is consistently inspiring,
precise, and even electrifying in her instruc-
tion of others, Hua is nonetheless a gentle
and patient teacher. What really touches
me and impresses me about the way Hua
approaches her various offerings to her spir-
itual community is the integrity and con-
sistency with which she conducts the daily
business of getting things done. There is a
clarity and transparency to the way she goes
about solving problems, teaching classes,
and leading ceremony that communicates
the deep respect she has for others, and
indeed for the entire Web of Life.
Hua is not afraid to show her true spirit
and lay her feelings bare, and in this, she
sets the finest example. She does not hide
from challenges or sorrow, but nor does
she dwell on it. Like us all, she is simply
a human being. And how rare it is for us
to watch the evolution of a fellow seeker? I
really admire her gift of spiritual intimacy,
her easy grace and compassion, and I am
happy that I can call her friend, as well as
teacher.
Thank you Hua.
Women’s Press | March & April 2009 | womenspress.slo@gmail.com
Talent Is As Talent Does
By Inglis Carre’-Dellard, M.F.A.
What is this thing called, “Talent?” Is it a
magical quality bestowed only on a few of
us by our parents, or by divine agency, or
by fickle chance? While many artistic peo-
ple do come from artistic families, it is
likely that this is more the result of nur-
ture than of nature. And, if magical talent
is randomly doled out by a Greater Power
to only a few, then wouldn’t that contradict
the idea that we are all made in the image
of the Ultimate Creator?
Guess what? The vast majority of good
art is made by ordinary people, not gifted
geniuses. It is also true that a small percent-
age of all art that is made soars to a new
level, and often defines a new level. But
if we look at what lies behind these great
works, we are likely to find that they are
the end product of consistent hard work
by people who constantly strive to bet-
ter their skills and who nurture their own
unique voice. They follow their own muse
and set up conditions that foster artistic
inspiration. Behind each great work of art
there are stacks of not so great works that
prepared the way for greatness. It is not an
accident that they are called “works” of art.
Developing good art is a lot of work.
Passionate Communication and Connection
Judythe Guarnera
“Judy’s passion in life was to promote con-
nection through communication.” These
are the words I want on my tombstone.
This may be the greatest contribution I can
make in my lifetime.
When I was young, independence was
a major goal. Years later I acknowledged
that independence was impossible. We are
all interdependent, relying on those around
us to obey the laws and mores of our times,
though we often forget about the interde-
pendency we have on one another’s words.
I experienced an “aha!” moment when I
acknowledged how hurtful or helpful words
can be.
This interwoven word play occurred
recently at a meeting when we were dis-
cussing the power of words. A maintenance
worker came into the room complaining
that we were parked in the slots designated
for the residents with disabilities. After he
left, someone commented that “he sure was
territorial.”
I suggested replacing territorial—which
to me connoted someone acting bossy or
pushy—with “It sounds like he was being
protective of the residents.” The discussion
about how words can color a conversation
with positive brush strokes or negative ones
suddenly became germane.
If we assume that others have had the
same experiences as we did, it might follow
that they carry the same emotional baggage.
A word which evokes one type of memory
or reaction for an individual may produce
an entirely different reaction or have no rel-
evance at all to another. The wrong word or
an emotionally charged word(s) often elicit
an unintended reaction.
A perfect example of this happened
when a friend could no longer care for her
husband at home, and tearfully said, “I have
There will always be art that is “bet-
ter,” more marketable, given more critical
acclaim than ours. So what? How is this
fact going to help us when we’re alone in
the studio, staring at a blank canvas? Does
this idea of magical talent empower us
to push forward with the work of better-
ing our skills and speaking with our own
voice? Or does it give us an excuse to sab-
otage ourselves by giving up our power of
personal choice? After all, if talent is deter-
mined by fate or genetics, some of us have
it and some don’t…right?
Wrong. Rather, I would say that the real
magical quality is Desire. It fuels ordinary
working artists every day. True greatness lies
in persisting in the work of our hearts and
returning to it even after a detour, because
it is our home. It’s time for us to put away
the notion of magical talent. It’s time for us
to pick up our brushes and begin!
Inglis Carre’-Dellard, M.F.A. is a Los
Osos artist and teacher whose nature inspired
oil paintings are the product of an intuitive
encounter with the unknown. Her teaching
style emphasizes individuality and self expres-
sion in a nurturing environment. For more
information, e-mail her: ingartist@yahoo.com
Photo by Kriss Szkurlatowski
to put my husband in a nursing home.” Put
as she used it seemed to imply that the per-
son putting had more power than the per-
son being put. With a little coaching, my
friend rephrased her statement: “I can no
longer provide appropriate care for my hus-
band. I will move him to a home where his
needs can be met.” The situation sounded
less threatening to the individual who
needed additional care and eased the guilt
she felt.
In court people come to confront their
adversaries. As a mediator, I must create an
environment where participants feel safe
to talk about the problem, to express emo-
tions, and feel heard. Early in a mediation,
I suggest that by agreeing to mediate they
are no longer adversaries but become par-
ticipants in a process to find a solution that
works for both parties.
In mediation a word used by a partici-
pant or a mediator can move the process
forward or stop it in its tracks. Once a par-
ticipant called the other a “liar.” That per-
son responded by jumping up and knocking
over her chair. When I suggested that the
speaker might want to use a word which
was less inflammatory, he said, “She doesn’t
tell the truth.” Then he added, “She has a
different perspective than I do.” The subtle
shift this generated opened the door for the
beginning of a fruitful discussion.
Robert Benjamin, in “Managing the
Natural Energy of Conflict,” indicates that
words have a certain magic: “Particular
words and language used to frame a dispute
can alter or shift the context.” He contends
that words such as “custody” are exclud-
ing words, while “parenting responsibil-
ity” includes both parents. “The judicious
use of words can create fertile soil in which
the seeds of agreement can germinate and
grow.
Words are important.
March & April 2009 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press LocalPerspectives: Women’s History Month 11

Oma Then I Remember Mandy

By Jeanmarie Tarmann Derry
My Oma, Anna Wegerbauer, taught me to
make apple strudel. We’d pull the dough
thin on her white table cloth. She’d melt the
butter in the pan. I’d sprinkle the stretched
dough with raisins, apple chunks, and cin-
namon. Oma and I would roll the strudel.
My stomach shudders to write again.
My International Women’s Writing Group
(IWWG) affords me a safe place to share
my words. Safety? I enjoy the cuddly
warmth of my gray flowered sweatshirt and
close my eyes to ignore the drill on my ach-
ing tooth.
Lately, my confidence has been clouded
by doubt as gray hair sprouts from my
scalp. “Beats going bald,” Oma, my Aus-
trian grandmother used to say.
She of the milky blue eyes; I smile and
cry to think of my Oma. Oma was green
before it was in. I would drive her to parks
to collect cans to recycle. We went to the
dump weekly to collect the change from
these cans.
Oma wrote down her dreams on blue
thin-lined paper. She remembered her
dreams and sent them to me. Her real life
dream was for her daughter to graduate
from college. Oma was pulled out of school
at age 11 to care for her younger siblings.
Oma threshed wheat, cutting the drying
stalks with a curved scythe.
At 21, Oma married Hubert. He and his
five brothers married five of the village girls
and took them to America. Two landed in
Chicago, and my Opa went to Cudahy,
Wisconsin where his cousin had work at
the sausage factory.
My grandparents paid cash for their
home. My grandpa worked as the gardener
for the priests. The large trees umbrella the
road in fall colors when we would visit. My
grandmother stuffed sausages.
My mother finished nursing school.
Now my daughter intends to become a
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nurse.
Closing my eyes, I remember my
grandmother’s strong hands, even nails.
Oma picked berries from the bushes she
planted along the property line. Oma’s lis-
tening ear and head would nod as I shared
my dream to be an astronaut. I was 6 years
old.
My Oma and I shared a bed. She’d
chuckle over the old, sometimes rac-
ist Reader’s Digest jokes. I’d be terrified
of the Case of the Whispering Statue. My
dad would call, “Lights out!” We’d wait til
we heard his bed creak with him crawling
into it. I’d reach over to the hummel lamp
of a pup biting the shoe of a boy up a tree
and push the button lamp back on. We’d
read into the early hours. Me, Jane Eyre, she
Reader’s Digest.
Eyes closed, I can picture her nose and
cheeks dusted with flour, baking her latest
creation, Bavarian nut roll, plum dump-
lings dusted with powdered sugar. She loved
to dig in the dirt growing cherry toma-
toes, chives for red potato salad. She made
a mean vinegary red skinned potato salad.
Now memories.
Oma of the sturdy heart survived my
grandfather’s heart attack. He liked to
swath butter an inch thick on his bread and
smeared it with Oma’s homemade apricot
jam. When my Mom was 14 years old, my
grandfather slumped over this piece of jam
butter bread and died.
My grandmother successfully put my
mother through school. My Mom, beauti-
ful in her white cap graduated as an R.N.
at age 19. My father, introduced to her by
her cousin Annie, was a friend of my Uncle
Bill. Two families joined as one. I miss Oma
and my family. When Oma died, my Mom
couldn’t face cleaning out her belongings.
I have Oma’s silver wind up watch, the
one memento I chose to keep.
By Lynne Ludwick Higgins
I come home after work to an empty
house. Stillness overwhelms me. Nothing
has changed since I left in the morning. I
grew up in a home of four kids, two par-
ents, cats and dogs. I raised three children
along with chickens, dogs, cats, horses,
and 4-H pigs and heifers. My father died. I
became divorced. Subsequent relationships
ended. My children grew up. Two of three
moved seven hours away (one by air, one
by car). My mother died. I sit in the same
chair when I get home. I sit and listen to
the silence and wonder what is next for me,
at this age of 59, with no mother to listen to
me, to guide me, and my children involved
in their own lives, and with no partner to
share the ups and downs of life with. A
trickle of self-pity and depression creeps in,
then I remember Mandy.
I’ve never met Mandy. Not yet anyway.
But Mandy is a ripple effect. She lives in
Texas, but I can feel her spirit clear across
the country, here on the Central Coast of
California. I sit in that chair and feel the
spirit of Mandy lift me right out of it. I feel
motivated, inspired and ready for the next
phase of life and challenge that presents
itself.
My daughter was planning to run the
San Diego Marathon. She called me one
day from Texas, where she is a PhD stu-
dent at Texas A & M, and asked me what I
thought of the idea of running it for Mandy.
“Who is Mandy?” I asked. That opened a
floodgate. She explained that Mandy is the
most upbeat, outgoing, enthusiastic, peppy
person she has ever met and also a fellow
student at A & M.
Mandy’s dream is to walk across the
stage at her graduation. She was told in
1996 after a car accident that broke her
neck, that she would never breathe on her
own or shrug her shoulders and definitely
never walk again. Yet, through hard work,
will, and determination, she lives an inde-
pendent life in a wheel chair, drives a van,
and started a business in addition to being
a student of finance at A & M. She works
diligently with intensive physical therapy in
order to fulfill her dream to walk across that
stage when she receives her diploma, and
she has recently had movement in her legs.
Mandy’s out-of-pocket expenses will be
about a million dollars. My daughter, Lind-
sey, wondered if I thought it was a good idea
to ask for donations for every mile she ran
at the marathon and if I thought she should
bring it up to Mandy. I told her, “Yes!” She
talked to Mandy, she collected donations,
she ran the Marathon wearing a shirt that
read Running for Mandy – and she made
$6,100 to contribute to Mandy’s walk.
But Mandy’s story is more than just a
car accident which left her immobile. She
was born with scoliosis. She had surgery at
2 ½ and they fused 9 of the 12 thoracic ver-
tebrae. She wore a brace until age 5. How-
ever, she lived through her childhood and
teenage years playing sports and being a
cheerleader. Then at age 20 she had to have
back surgery again & they put a rod in her
back. Then came the car accident which
broke her neck.
Despite setbacks (broken femurs, bro-
ken tibia & fibula, and 3rd degree burns on
her hands), she has made tremendous prog-
ress with her therapy and is the most deter-
mined person my daughter has ever met.
Mandy believes in herself and hopes the
world will believe in her also to help her
walk across the stage.
Mandy’s website is
www.helpmandywalk.com. It’s worth a visit
and perhaps she can inspire you and lift
you right out of your doldrums. Perhaps
you might even decide to donate to her
cause—a donation to the National Trans-
plant Assistance Fund is a tax write-off and
will help Mandy live her dream: to walk
across that stage.
When I find myself in my chair, listen-
ing to silent walls, I visualize Mandy walk-
ing across that stage, and I lift myself up
out of that chair, I lift my spirit up and I
am ready to march forward through my
challenges, which suddenly are so minor
I am embarrassed to call them challenges.
Mandy faces hardships with a tenacity that
doesn’t falter, with a joy in living, with an
enthusiastic spirit and this young woman
whom I have never met (yet) inspires me
from across the country to get up and get
with it—there’s still some living to do.

One of the most difficult things a family can go through is to watch their loved
one struggle with the use of alcohol or other drugs

Facilitated by Heather Mendel A SUPPORT GROUP

for
Jewish Artist, Author and Spiritual Advisor families dealing with substance abuse
Music by Soloist Ricki Weintraub
For More Information Contact: Pam Miller, LMFT
(805) 473-8311 Lic.#MFC35690
Monday, April 6th at 5:30 p.m.
Congregation Beth David
10180 Los Osos Valley Road
San Luis Obispo

All Adults are invited to this Vegetarian Potluck Seder. Guests

are asked to bring a salad, side dish or dessert for 6 to share.
Tickets are $30. Deadline for reservations is April 2nd. For
reservations call Congregation Beth David at 805 544-0760.
12 NOWNews Women’s Press | March & April 2009 | womenspress.slo@gmail.com

This Page Presented by the National Organization for Women

The purpose of NOW is to bring women into full participation in the mainstream of American society NOW !

Coordinator’s Corner
By Angie King
There has been much attention given to
racial factors these days: from our new Pres-
ident down to art exhibits by African-Amer-
icans at the public libraries, and the critics
who say there doesn’t need to be a month
for African Americans anymore because it’s
demeaning and marginalizing to separate
out a month for blacks.
Those same arguments are often made
about women. Is there a need for Women’s
History Month? Do women need a separate
time to reflect on the achievements against
the great odds of our foremothers?
Obviously, yes we do because there is
still rampant discrimination and margin-
alization of women both here and abroad.
Without even going into the issue of sex
slaves, laws giving men the right to beat
their wives, honor killings and other injus-
tices abroad, there is the screeching dispar-
ity of wages in the workplace, stereotypes
which cement down the glass ceiling,
harassment and violence against women
as a “matter of right” still occurring in our
own country.
Until these injustices are remedied, we
need at least a month for women! We had a
year (1975) and a decade (1980’s) (see article
on CEDAW) and yet… sometimes it seems
like it’s getting worse, not better.
There is some good news, of course.
With the change in administration, Con-
gress has passed and Obama has signed
the restoration of the Title VII provisions
against wage discrimination. Known as
the Lily Ledbetter Law (named after the
NOW History and Structure
Once a year we review the history of the
formation and the structure of NOW, as a
way to remind us that we are the organiza-
tion, at least the action-member-run part of
it, and to fulfill a chapter requirement.
NOW actually has 3 different parts, each
with its own purpose. The main one is, of
course, the member-run action organiza-
tion, whose mission is to bring women into
the mainstream of society in equal participa-
tion with men. I am paraphrasing the state-
ment drawn up in 1966 by the 28 founding
women who became frustrated at the inabil-
ity to take action as part of the President’s
Commission on the Status of Women con-
vened by John Kennedy in 1963. Having
researched and presented findings of the
Calendar
March 3:
• Harriet Tubman (operated Under-
ground Railroad) died, 1913
March 4:
• Jeannette Rankin becomes 1st US Con-
gresswoman, 1917
March 8: abortion laws, 1967
• International Women’s Day
March 15:
• birthday Ruth Bader Ginsberg, 1933
March 17: City/St/ZIP: ___________________________________________
• NOW regular meeting, 6 PM
March 24: Phone: ________________________________________________
• League of Women Voters founded,
1919
April 4:
• birthday of Billie Holiday, 1915
April 9: PO Box 1306
• March for Women’s Lives to support
abortion rights, 1992
April 10: SLONOW @ kcbx.net
• birthday of Dolores Huerta, 1930
woman whose case was heard at the US
Supreme Court heard), the bill allows an
employee to sue for wage discrimination
based on sex within a time period from
whenever she first learns of that discrimina-
tion, not, as the court had previously said,
from the very first time that discrimination
occurred, whether she was aware of it or
not. Lily had worked for decades at a job
earning less than her male counterparts but
didn’t find out until she was almost ready to
retire. She sued her employer for damages,
but lost because, the court said, she should
have filed the claim when she received her
first paycheck.
It is also interesting to note Abigail
Adams’ quote (in the article about how the
economic crisis affects women): “If partic-
ular care and attention is not paid to the
ladies, we are determined to foment a rebel-
lion and will not hold ourselves bound by
any laws in which we have no voice or rep-
resentation.” Pretty formidable woman, I’d
say, and one of the first American feminists.
March is Women’s History Month, and
we remember the achievements made by
women, many under great odds.
rampant discrimination against women in
all levels of public life, these women wanted
to change that situation, but found instead
the Commission was prohibited from rec-
ommending any action.
Thus NOW was founded. The structure
they developed was very grass roots. Chap-
ters are formed at local levels, sending del-
egates to state and national conferences to
determine the organization’s agenda each
year. Resolutions are debated and approved.
Actions (calling for support or opposition
of proposed laws), boycotts, and marches
are approved and then carried out by the
executive committee.
Continued in History, page 14
April 18:
• Women’s World Fair, Chicago, 1925
April 21: • Support reproductive choice
• NOW regular meeting, 6 PM
April 23: against women
• Take Your Daughter to Work Day
April 25: • Encourage tolerance and diversity
• Colorado, 1st state to liberalize
April 28:
• Equal Pay Day
NOW Chapter # CA 565
PO Box 1306, SLO, CA 93406
http://groups.myspace.com/~slonow
“Don’t Forget the Ladies”
Abigail Adams’ famous quote to her hus-
band, John, while he was at the first Con-
tinental Congress, is still apt today. Check
out the current Ms Magazine article by
Martha Burk on the subject of how women
are more adversely affected by the current
recession/depression/downturn. And see the
accompanying article by one of our NOW
chapter members about her plight (“One
Woman’s Reaction”).
Burk points out that women’s job losses
are larger than men’s; in the 2001 recession,
women lost more jobs proportionately and
did not recover those losses as the economy
recovered. This time around, while they
haven’t suffered as great a numeric loss, the
jobs women hold are in low wage part time
work with no benefits, often requiring more
than one of those dead-end jobs to make
ends meet. And, as a result, when these
jobs are lost, those women fail to qualify
for unemployment benefits. That inequality
should be redressed as well.
Burk also points out that the main job
losses have been in heavy industry and
the stimulus plan calls for focusing on
jobs in that same sector—jobs dispropor-
tionately held by men. She urges Con-
One Woman’s Reaction
By Kim Anderson
I’m a single mom, I have year-old twins,
I want to go back to school, and I do not
want more kids (at least now). So, when
Obama dropped the Medicaid Family
Planning State Option from the economic
recovery package, I was pissed off.
The Medicaid Family Planning State
Option allows states to use Medicaid
funds to provide low-income women, who
make a slightly too much to be able to get
traditional Medicaid, with family plan-
ning services, such as contraceptives,
STD/STI tests, and cervical and breast can-
cer screenings.
So, women like myself, who are strug-
gling during this economic downturn, must
somehow find the cash to get pap smears,
breast cancer screenings, and buy birth con-
Get Involved — Join NOW!
San Luis Obispo Chapter
National Organization for Women
Every woman doesn’t have to join NOW,
just the 142 million who are discriminated against!
Goals
• Work to eliminate ALL violence
• Fight against sexual harassment
• Promote feminist issues
Name: _ ______________________________________________
Address: _____________________________________________
Regular Dues ….$40
Sliding Scale…..$15-39 Amount enclosed: ________________________
Send your check and this form to
SLO, CA 93406
Chapter # CA 565
slonow@kcbx.net
gress to provide incentives to draw more
women in these higher paying jobs (see
wowonline.org for more detail). Women
business owners deserve more than the Bush
Administration’s 5% set aside for women
owned businesses when awarding new con-
tracts for those big stimulus projects.
Women are almost half the workforce
and almost half of these women are heads of
household. Since many of these jobs are in
the health care sector and education, Burk
urges Obama to reform sectors and fixing
the health care system would not only pro-
vide jobs, but would give us all more access
to health care.
Lastly, Burk urges preserving federal
social programs such as food stamps or
health care. These measures have the great-
est impact on women and yield big returns
for every dollar spent without changing the
long-term effects on the economy.
Women may hold up half the sky, as the
Chinese say, but currently, we are shoul-
dering the larger chunk of the economic
downturn. Write Capps and McCarthy and
let them know you support their efforts to
include women in all economic recovery
legislation. “Don’t Forget the Ladies.”
trol pills, or not have sex at all. Wait? That’s
it…
Conservatives called the Medicaid Fam-
ily Planning State Option an attack on
family values: Because single women like
me shouldn’t be having sex, or pap smears,
or get checked for breast cancer and low-
income married women should be popping
out babies as often as possible. Is that what
women are for? And nothing helps a strug-
gling family more than having a baby they
can’t afford.
If you’re as mad as I am, take a minute
to leave President Obama a message at 202-
456-1414. Tell him not to buckle under pres-
sure from conservatives, that women are
important, and that the last thing we need
in this economy is to worry about unin-
tended pregnancy.
• Commemorate Roe v Wade (Jan 22)
• Celebrate Women’s Equality Day
(Aug 26)
• Participate in Farmer’s Market
• Support feminist politics
General Meetings
11573 Los Osos Valley Rd, #B, SLO
3rd Tuesday of every month
at 6:00 pm
March & April 2009 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press
Women’s Community Center
Our mission is:
• TO maintain an accessible center to
collect and exchange information of
interest and concern to women
• TO organize and facilitate work-
shops, clinics, seminars, classes, and
support groups on subjects of inter-
est and need
• TO engage in and facilitate interac-
tion among local, state, and national
agencies and organizations working
to benefit women
Call for Volunteers
Hear ye, hear ye! The Women’s Com-
munity Center is looking for a few vol-
unteers to help with several projects. We
could use some help with general office
duties and to monitor family court pro-
ceedings (Court Watch).
Women’s Community Center Presents
Day with Creative Women
August 8, 2009
10:00 AM to 5:00 PM
Calling all Creative Women! The Wom-
en’s Community Center of San Luis
Obispo County invites you to partici-
pate in the 35th annual Day with Creative
Women, to be held in Mission Plaza in
downtown San Luis Obispo on Saturday,
August 8, 2009. This event has graced the
Mission Plaza in San Luis Obispo on the
second Saturday in August for the last
35 years and draws thousands of people
from all around the Central Coast and
beyond, featuring nearly 100 vendors dis-
playing their own creative arts. This event
is an excellent opportunity to experience
the many local and statewide talents of
women artists.
Day with Creative Women celebrates
women’s creativity with music, arts and
crafts for display and sale, continuous
entertainment, delicious food, and chil-
dren’s activities. This event provides an
atmosphere where families can come to
view and purchase quality hand-made
arts and crafts, have a meal or snack in a
Family Law
Action Committee
Dealing With Divorce
3rd Wednesday of each month – 7 PM
Upcoming:
March 18, April 15 and May 20
Talk with other women who have
been there, done that in a supportive,
non-judgmental environment.
$10 donation
Self-Represented Litigants’ Clinic
4th Tuesday of each month – 5:30 PM
Upcoming:
March 24, April 28 and May 26
Get family law advice from local
attorneys and/or paralegals.
Reservations required. $40 donation
Call 788-2491 for information
relaxed atmosphere, and immerse them-
selves in the sights and sounds of many
local entertainers.
If you create art or handcrafted items,
you are invited to display and sell your
works. Entertainers of all types are sought
to perform during the day, and food ven-
dors are particularly encouraged to partic-
ipate. Non-profit organizations are invited
to provide the community with informa-
tion about your services. We encourage
women in business to submit applications
for a booth to market your creative skills.
Booth space is always limited, so reserve
your booth now!
For more information, contact Robin
Rinzler (805-801-3235) or WCC (805-
544-9313), check the website www.wccslo.
org, or email DWCW2009@aol.com.
Funds realized from Day with Cre-
ative Women help support the programs
of the Women’s Community Center, ded-
icated to the empowerment of women.
Women’sCommunityCenter
A Year of Accomplishment
By Angie King, President,
Board of Directors, WCC
For the Women’s History month issue, I
thought it might be appropriate to sub-
mit an annual report from the Board for
our supporters—we want to let you know
what we did last year! It was a full year of
accomplishments, building on the frame-
work of the previous years.
In 2007, we spent some time develop-
ing a vision for our grand goal: a “Wom-
anspace” of our own, our own building,
with room for meetings and celebrations,
providing space for other allied profes-
sionals, becoming “the” place for women
to gather. The goal was easy; the imple-
mentation turns out, not unsurprisingly,
to be less so. In discussing our plans with
the highly successful Women’s Build-
ing in San Francisco, we were encour-
aged to keep going, even when the way
isn’t clear. They started with 7 people
and spent years building their organiza-
tion, and still have slumps when board
members are discouraged, no volunteers
appear, and money gets tight. That gave
us the encouragement we needed to keep
after our goals.
Last January (that is, January 2008)
the Board of WCC set primary goals of
building visibility for the organization
through public events and building our
financial structure through better fund-
raising, as first steps toward building
“Womanspace.” I believe we achieved
both those goals.
The family law activities bring in both
visibility and money, which includes a
monthly class on the practical aspects of
divorce, including alternatives to court,
and the monthly legal clinic, successful
in large part because of the generosity of
the attorneys who donate their time to
give specific one-on-one legal advice to
women who cannot afford to pay attor-
ney fees and who are trying to navigate
a very complicated legal process on their
own. Ongoing notices in the print media
and on radio and the advertising in our
own Women’s Press, provide the visibil-
ity. Attendance at both activities has been
When is your best friend or loving relative your worst nightmare?
By Robin Rinzler
Core Mediation Services
As a divorce mediator, it is my job to help
clients that are going through a divorce to
come to an agreement that will work for
both parties. It’s not as easy as it sounds!
But in my office, couples can negotiate
and come up with ideas and suggestions
for splitting their assets and their debt, for
a parenting plan for their minor children,
and for financial support for the children
and/or for a spouse. The suggestions and
workable solutions are often the kind that
would never have taken place had the
couple gone to two separate attorneys.
The concept of negotiation and media-
tion is foreign to many attorneys that are
trained to put up the good fight (at the
client’s expense!)
So why do I say your best friend
might be your worst nightmare? Why
might your sister or aunt be send-
ing you down the river? Because after
the hard work of negotiating a settle-
ment that both clients are happy with,
sometimes our friends or a family mem-
ber think (that is, they assume) they are
13
steadily increasing, providing increased
revenue.
Speaking of Women’s Press, 2008 was a
year of change there, as well. WP became
more independent from WCC in han-
dling its own finances and editorial man-
agement; Kathleen Deragon announced
her retirement and we were very fortu-
nate to have found Courtney Brogno, the
new editor in chief, who is continuing the
standards set by Kathleen. WP now has
its own bank account and WCC now has
its own page in each issue for extended
articles about our activities. As WP circu-
lation increases, more people read about
us—more visibility.
Of course, our big fundraiser (and
fun-raiser) each year is the Day with Cre-
ative Women. With the help of volunteers
(aren’t volunteers wonderful people!!) we
were able to secure some sponsorships to
help defray the cost of advertising this
event; we reviewed and amended our pol-
icies for vendor space; we secured a great
lineup of local female talent; brought
back the popular petting zoo; and a good
time was had by all. And we reached our
fundraising goal as well.
We also received financial help from
The Graduate with a fundraiser in Octo-
ber, as part of their Big Chill night, and
a grant from the County of San Luis
Obispo. And, of course, much thanks
goes to our supporters, who responded to
our year-end request for donations.
As part of our goal to increase visibil-
ity in the community, we contacted the
editors of New Times, and finally our
persistence paid off, with an almost full-
page article about us in the January 15,
2009 issue. That’s good publicity!
We’re still working on expanding
the Board, expanding our fundraising
opportunities, expanding the volunteer
base, promoting public events that draw
new supporters, and developing plans
to actualize “Womanspace.” Be a part of
Women’s Community Center: donate
your time and expertise to helping us
achieve our goals. Contact any Board
member or call the Center to find out
how you can help.
being helpful by offering advice such
as:  “Are you crazy? You could do much
better. Why are you agreeing  to  that?” 
And before you know it, your friend or
family member has talked you into retain-
ing an attorney to “do better than that.”
With attorneys charging an initial retainer
of eight to ten thousand dollars (this
is just to get started), and with divorces
routinely costing tens of thousands of
dollars or more, it’s hard to imagine that
one would do better when you account
for all the attorney fees. Not only are you
paying fees you never thought possible,
but the adversarial position that the attor-
neys place you in makes any civil future
relationship with your ex almost impos-
sible. This is exacerbated if you have chil-
dren. So those “helpful” loved ones may
be doing you and your children a disser-
vice if they talk you into seeking litigation
over mediation or try to pull you out of
your decision to negotiate your divorce.
Be cautious and use your best instincts. If
after discussing and agreeing to workable
solutions, stick to your instinct and don’t
let others dissuade you.
14 CommunityBulletins
Bulletins
Seats Open For The Speech
and Learning Coach
Come discover positive strategies to help
your child succeed in school.
The Speech and Learning Coach is offer-
ing a FREE Community Service presen-
tation to help you make homework less
stressful. March 18th, 6:30-8:00PM. For
location and registration, call 474-1144 or
email Info@theSpeechandLearningCoach.
com.
The Steynberg Gallery Features Poetry
Sunday, March 1st, from 4-6pm, you’re
invited to the Steynberg Gallery for poetry
readings. The topic is Family and will fea-
ture Joan Gerard and Kevin Patrick Sulli-
van reading poems by other authors. You
are also invited to bring your favorite poem
centered on the theme and join the open
mic portion. Poets may not read their own
work. For more information on future dates
and topics, visit SLOfavoritepoems.org.
SLO Library To Focus On
Male Dominance In Religion
The SLO Library and Cal Poly Women’s
and Gender Studies are presenting a series
of lectures on the first Tuesday of every
month, 6-8PM, through May. The lecture
on March 3rd will focus on the feminist’s
criticism of male dominance in religion.
Each talk will be held in the Community
Room of the SLO Public Library, 995 Palm
in SLO. Admission is free. For more infor-
mation, contact the Library Manager, Kris-
tine Tardiff at katardiff@slolibrary.org
IONS Now Meeting Every Third Sunday
The Institute Of Noetic Sciences (IONS),a
local group, meets to address the poten-
tials and powers of consciousness, includ-
ing perceptions, beliefs, intention and
intuition. These meetings are now being
held every third Sunday from 1:30-3:30
pm at the Coast National Bank, 500
Marsh St. in SLO. Info: 627-1501 or
davidnburt@sbcglobal.net
Fresno Metropolitan Museum
Welcomes Anna Richards Brewster
The works of one of the best-known Amer-
ican woman artists at the turn of the last
century will be on view for a special Fresno
engagement, as the Fresno Metropolitan
Museum hosts Anna Richards Brewster:
American Impressionist from March 21
through June 7, 2009.
Anna Richards Brewster: American
Impressionist, seeks to demonstrate Anna
Richard Brewster’s historical context and
her role as a successful artist at the begin-
ning of the twentieth century, a time when
women were just starting to break into the
professional and academic spheres of the
art world.
As part of the exhibition, the Met will
host a series of special luncheon tours.
“Taste and Tour” is a new program which
allows visitors traveling in groups to receive
a special docent-led tour of the exhibition
as well as a catered lunch in the Muse-
um’s exclusive Eaton McClatchy Founders
Room for a premium ticket price of $20 per
person (in a group of 20 or more).
The Literacy Council Seeks Tutors
The Literacy Council for SLO County has
an urgent need for volunteer tutors. They
are offering a free, 2-part training workshop,
Saturday, March 7th and Saturday, March
14th at the Literacy Council’s office, 1264
Higuera, Suite 102, from 9AM to 3:30PM.
For more information, please call 541-
4219 or visit www.sloliteracy.org
Free Community Outreach Program
Offered in Atascadero
The Global Alliance for Balance and Heal-
ing is offering a Clear Mind-Open Heart,
Stepping into the Flow of Joy workshop
on Tuesday, March 10 from 6 to 8pm at the
Atascadero Library.
For more information or to register,
call Nancy at 461-1490 or e-mail nancy@
kulamira.com.
EDA Support In Pismo Beach
Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA)  is a
fellowship of individuals who share their
experience, strength and hope with each
other that they may solve their common
problems and help others to recover from
their eating disorders. People can and do
fully recover from having an eating disor-
der. Meetings are held at La Perla Del Mar
Community Center, 205 Windward Ave in
Pismo Beach, every Monday at 6pm.
WHERE on EARTH are we going?
And what can we do about it?
You are invited to attend the “Awakening
the Dreamer, Changing the Dream” Sym-
posium, Sunday, March 1st, 1PM at the
Awakening Interfaith Spiritual Commu-
nity, 1130 Napa St. in Morro Bay. This sym-
posium makes a profound inquiry into a
bold vision to bring forth an environmen-
tally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling and
socially just human presence on Earth. $15
suggested donation at the door.
For more information or to reg-
ister, contact Philip Westergaard at
phelgewest@gmail.com or visit
AwakeningtheDreamer.org
Earth Day 2009: A Green Living Expo
SLO County’s 19th annual Earth Day event
will be held Saturday, April 18th from 11AM
to 5PM in the Mission Plaza. The event is
free and open to the public. Learn about
wise earth practices, alternative energy
sources, green building options, earthy
friendly products and zero waste solutions.
Also, there will be drawings and giveaways,
guest speakers and a Kids Zone.
For more information, contact
Earthdayslo@gmail.com
Camp Ocean Pines
Camp Ocean Pines was established in 1946
to serve the community as a non-profit
camp and a conference center. A jewel on
the Central Coast, the camp sits on thir-
teen donated acres of Monterey Pine forest
that nearly meets the ocean shore. Camp
Ocean Pines has made memories for more
than 100,000 Adults use the facilities for
enriching conferences. Singers, songwrit-
ers, sculptors, storytellers, quilters, weav-
ers, flutists, dancers, choirs...they ALL join
us! We regularly host weekend and week
long retreats, church groups, marine sci-
ence focused educational seminars and art
focused weekends.
Upcoming workshops include a Flute
Circle, Feb. 27-Mar. 1st. A Memory Ware
Mosaics Workshop, Mar. 13-15. And the 7th
Annual California Sculptors Symposium,
April 19-26. To register, go to campocean-
pines.org or call 805-927-0254. Also, sum-
mer camp begins June 21st. Seven weeks of
fun and sun!
Timeless Ireland Through the Lens
of a Wanderer
Come with me on a magical journey enjoy-
ing an afternoon of armchair travel with
photographs, stories and interesting facts
about Newgrange, The Temple of The
Gods, The Hill of Tara, and her special sig-
nificance to all of us. Your guide is Mary-
Aine Cherry. Saturday, March 14th, 1-4pm
at Cuesta College, Room 4760. Course fee
is $20 and you can register online at com-
munityprograms.net (Travel section) or call
805-546-3132.
Women’s Press | March & April 2009 | womenspress.slo@gmail.com
Equal Pay Day: April 28, 2009
By Angie King
Wear RED on Equal Pay Day to symbolize
how far women and minorities are “in the
red” with their pay!
Equal Pay Day was originated by
the National Committee on Pay Equity
(NCPE) in 1996 as a public awareness
event to illustrate the gap between men’s
and women’s wages. The day, observed on
a Tuesday in April, symbolizes how far into
the year a woman must work, on average,
to earn as much as a man earned the previ-
ous year. It falls on a Tuesday because that
is the day on which women’s wages catch
up to men’s wages from the previous week.
Because women earn less, on average, than
men, they must work longer for the same
amount of pay.
That same discrepancy follows women
into retirement. Not only do women live
an average of 3 years longer than men, they
have earned less in their working lifetimes
and have smaller pensions, leaving a greater
proportion of women living in poverty. The
median income for older women is just
$3,000 over the poverty level and just over
half the median income of older men.
CEDAW
In the spirit of International Women’s Day
(March 8) and Women’s History Month, it
is time to bring up – again! – ratification of
the Convention on the Elimination of All
Forms of Discrimination against Women
(CEDAW). CEDAW is an international
convention adopted in 1979 by the United
Nations General Assembly.
The Convention defines discrimination
against women in the following terms:
Any distinction, exclusion or restric-
tion made on the basis of sex which has the
effect or purpose of impairing or nullifying
the recognition, enjoyment or exercise by
women, irrespective of their marital status,
on a basis of equality of men and women,
of human rights and fundamental freedoms
in the political, economic, social, cultural,
civil or any other field.
It also establishes an agenda of action
for putting an end to sex-based discrimi-
nation: States ratifying the Convention are
required to enshrine gender equality into
their domestic legislation, repeal all dis-
criminatory provisions in their laws, and
enact new provisions to guard against dis-
crimination against women. They must also
establish tribunals and public institutions
to guarantee women effective protection
against discrimination, and take steps to
eliminate all forms of discrimination prac-
ticed against women by individuals, organi-
zations, and enterprises.
The text of CEDAW was prepared by
UN General Assembly from 1977 to 1979,
History
Continued from page 12
But the membership part of the organi-
zation was precluded from endorsing can-
didates for elected office. So, a NOW PAC
formed, which may endorse those candi-
dates for office it determines best advance
the NOW agenda.
The third arm of NOW is the Legal
Defense and Education Fund, which writes
amicus briefs for important Supreme Court
Cases; which provides attorneys in some
Despite laws to the contrary, women
still earn less at the same job as men. If
women were paid comparable wages, it is
estimated, the poverty level would drop by
a third, and some say by half (see aflcio.org/
issues/factsstats/).
Social Security is the only thing keeping
almost 40% of older women from poverty.
Still, even with that benefit, twelve and a
half percent of women 65 and older live in
poverty. For older women of color, that rate
doubles.
In the meantime, keep in mind that you
should be paid at the same rate as men who
do the same kind of job and that women
should have greater access to the broad
spectrum of jobs in order to compete for
higher paid positions. It may mean a huge
difference in your life later.
Also keep in mind that a system that
penalizes women who take time out of work
at lower paying jobs to be the child bearers
and caregivers of family members both old
and young and then pays them less in the
bargain, does so on the backs of women.
Shouldn’t government be able to give some-
thing back in retirement for a woman’s ser-
vice to society?
as part of the World Plan of Action for the
Implementation of the Objectives of the
International Women’s Year, adopted by
the World Conference of the International
Women’s Year held in Mexico City in 1975.
It was adopted by the General Assembly in
1979 by votes of 130 to none, with 10 absten-
tions, and presented to the mid-decade
World Conference of the United Nations
Decade for Women, which became effec-
tive September 1981, after the twentieth UN
member state had ratified it. The United
States is the only developed nation that has
not ratified the CEDAW. Seven UN mem-
ber states have not signed the convention:
Iran, Nauru, Palau, Qatar, Somalia, Sudan,
and Tonga. Niue and the Vatican City have
also not signed it.
During the presidential campaign, can-
didate Obama specifically said he “supports
the ratification of the Convention on the
Elimination of All Forms of Discrimina-
tion Against Women (CEDAW). The U.S.
failure to ratify this important international
treaty has been a worldwide embarrass-
ment” (see nowpacs.org/2008/obama/).
At the winter executive board
meeting, national NOW developed its
agenda for the year. Among many items
was this very important one: to instruct
the State Department to send the CEDAW
co to the senate for ratification (more
on the NOW agenda at now.org/issues/
agenda2009.html). Let’s make sure he does!
courts and other political arenas; which
publishes results of research into gender
inequality in such areas as school sports
(Title IX), work discrimination (the Wal-
Mart suit), reproductive rights cases and
defense of clinics.
With an increase of connections avail-
able through the Internet, so much more
information is available, too much to ade-
quately summarize here. I urge you to check
out the web page NOW.org and learn how
much NOW has contributed to the advance
of women’s rights in only 43 years!
March & April 2009 | www.womenspress-slo.org | Women’s Press Resources 15
ABUSE Hospice of SLO County (inc. miscarriage/stillbirth 481.7424 (Arroyo Grande)
Adults Molested as Children Support Group (AMAC) support) 544.2266 or 434.1164 541.8633 (SLO)
545.8888 Project Lifesaver Planned Parenthood
Center for Alternatives to Domestic Violence 548.0909 SLO 549.9446
781.6406 Safe and Sober Support Group Stroke Support Group
North County Women’s Shelter & Resource Center, 473.6507 471.8102 (SLO)
(inc. domestic violence support groups) Senior Peer Counseling Caregivers of Stroke Survivors
461.1338 Free, trained in-home counseling for 60+ 544.2266 (SLO)
Rape Survivors Support Group, SLO 547.7025, ext. 15 Women’s Support/Therapy v (general)
545.8888 Talk/Listen - Emotional support 534.1101
SARP (Sexual Assault Recovery & Prevention) 489.5481 Women’s Healthcare Specialists
545.8888 Transformations Counseling Center 544.4883
Support Group for Sexual Assault Survivors Free monthly workshops 541.7908
POLITICAL
545.8888 FINANCE/BUSINESS Code Pink
Women’s Shelter Program of SLO Consumer Credit Counseling Services ososousaville@aol.com
781.6400 www.womensshelterslo.org 800.540.2227 Commission on Status of Women
ADDICTIONS 545.8412; Dawn Williams
GAY & LESBIAN Democratic Women United
AA Meeting Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the Central Coast
541.3211 541.4252
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)
541.4252 League of Women Voters
PFLAG.Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays 543.2220
498.2176 438.3889
Al-Anon NOW (National Organization for Women)
SOL (Single Older Lesbians) slonow@kcbx.net
534.9204 Mostly socializing! Call 474.9405
Cambria Connection (12 step support) READERS/WRITERS
927.1654 HOSPICE Adult Literacy
Casa Solana AIDS Bereavement Group (Hospice) 541-4219
Women’s Recovery Home 481.8555 544.2266 Creative Writing Group
Chemical Dependency intensive Hospice of SLO County 748-2676; contact Gloria
outpatient program 544.2266 and 434.1164 Nightwriters
541-9113 Hospice Partners of the Central Coast 549.9656; contact Shirley Powell
Compulsive eaters Anonymous, H.O.W.Concept 782.8608 Sisters in Crime
546.1178 http://SinC-CCC.blogspot.com
Drug & Alcohol Services JOBS/CAREERS
781.4275 AARP SENIORS
800.549.7730 788.2643 Adult Day Care
Overeaters Anonymous Cal Poly Foundation 489.8894 (Arroyo Grande);
541.3164 Jobline 756.7107 434.2081 (Templeton); 927.4290 (Cambria)
SCA, SLAA & SAA (Sex, Love & Romance Addictions) Cal Poly University Adult Protective Services
461.6084 http://calpolyjobs.org 756.1533 781.1790
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) Cuesta College Computerooters:
929.1789 http://www.cuesta.edu Jobline 546.3127 Computer help: 489.6230
Women for Sobriety The Creekside Career Center Department of Social Services:
http://www.womenforsobriety.org www.slocareers.org 788.2631 or 788.2690 In-Home Support 781.1790
215.536.8026 Department of Rehabilitation Nursing help for the terminally ill 781.5540
549.3361 Elder and Dependent Adult Advocacy and Outreach –
CHILDREN & FAMILIES Mission Community Services Corporation Victim Witness Assistance Center
Birth and Baby Resource Center Women’s Business Partners 781-5821
546.3755 www.bbrn.org 595.1356 www.mcscorp.org Elder Law, Geraldine E. Champion, Attorney
Childcare Resource Connection Private Industry Council (PIC) 473.4747
541.2272 or 800.727.2272 www.jobhunt.org 788.2601 Foster Grandparents.Senior Companions
Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) 782.9200
“A child’s voice in Court in SLO County” LEGAL Senior Ballroom Dance club
541.6542 Core Mediation Services 489.5481 dg17@juno.com
Children’s Services Network 544.6334 medeee8@aol.com Senior Peer Counseling
781.1847 District Attorney’s Office – Victim Witness Center Free, trained in.home counseling for 60+
First 5: Children & Families Commission 781.5821 547.7025 ext. 15
781.4058; ask for Susan Hughs Family Law Facilitator
Homeschooling in SLO County (HSC) 788.3418 SPIRITUAL
462.0726; ask for Barbara Lawyers Referral Services/Legal Aid Alternative Circle of Spiritual Enlightenment
La Clinica De Tolosa 238.5334 788.2099 995.1390; www.spiritualcircle.org
La Leche League Pro Per Divorce Workshop Awakening Interfaith Spiritual Community
489.9128 544.9313 Meditation Monday evenings 7-7:45 pm
Migrant Childcare Program Senior Legal Services Open to all. 772-0306 awakeninginterfaith.org
544.4355 and 466.3444 543.5140 Hungry Hearts Spiritual Community
MOMS Club of South SLO county RC liturgy with womanpriest 546.8672
473. 2548 MEDICAL SUPPORT/SERVICES
Meditation Group
Partnership for Children ALS Support Group (Lou Gehrig’s Disease)
227.4785 or 674.4162 Mondays, 7:30–8:30 PM; 772.0306
541.8666; ask for Beth New Beginnings Church
Real F.A.C.T.S. (Forum on Abused Children) Alzheimer’s Support
534.9234 (LO); 547.3830 (SLO); Every Sunday, Coalesce Bookstore, MB
460.9016 Self-Realization Fellowship
Social Services 547.3830, 534.9234 (SLO/Los Osos) Sunday Services 995-1599
781.1600 888.488.6555
Support for Kids Coping with Domestic Violence American Cancer Society WOMEN’S CENTERS/SHELTERS
473.6507 San Luis Obispo 543.1481 Homeless Shelter
Templeton 434.3051 781-3993
EMERGENCY/CRISIS Anorexia Nervosa & Bulimia Support Group Housing Authority
Hotline 541.9113 543.4478
www.slohotline.org 800.549.8989 Arthritis Foundation North County Women’s Resource Center, Shelter
Sexual & Rape Prevention (SARP) 892.5556 461.1338
545.8888 or 800.656.HOPE (4673) Cancer/ Breast Cancer Support Groups Prado Day Center (for the homeless)
Temporary Restraining Order & Victim Witness 543.1481 ext. 3 for information 786.0617
Program 781.5821 Caregivers of Aging Parents Women’s Community Center, SLO
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT 547.3830 (AG); 927.4290 (Cambria); 544.9313
227.7135 (PR); 547.3830 (SLO); 543.7969 Women’s Shelter Program of SLO
A.D.A.P.T. (Aid in Divorce Adjustment Problems Today) Celiac Disease Support Group
543.0388 549.8989 (crises), 781.6401 (business)
226-9893 www.womensshelterslo.org
Alzheimer/Dementia Resource Center Endometriosis Association
434.2081 or 534.9234 or 888.488.6555 www.endometriosisassn.org OTHER WOMEN’S ORGANIZATIONS
CALL–Concerned Agoraphobics Learning to Live Enhancement, Inc. (for breast cancer survivors) Altrusa International, Inc.
543.3764 771.8640 www.enhancementinc.com 481.1039; Cici Wynn, President
Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) EOC Health Services Clinics American Association of University Women
542.0577 (SLO) 481.5093 (Grover Beach) no or low cost reproductive health services 781-0922; Karen
927.1654 (Cambria) 466.8600 (North County) 544.2478 (SLO); 489.4026 (Arroyo Grande) Camping Women
Community Counseling Center Healthworks of the Central Coast 440.2723 www.campingwomen.org
543.7969 No or low cost reproductive health services Hadassah.SLO
Dealing With Divorce 542.0900 543.9452
544.9313 Hearst Cancer Resource Center
Depresson and Bipolar Support Alliance Group 542.6269 OTHER GROUPS & GATHERINGS
927.3703 IC Interstitial Cystitis/Painful Bladder Syndrome Central Coast Peace and Environmental Council
Divorce Discussion Group 3rd Thursday, SLO, 7 -9 pm 464-0564 544.3399 or 783.2383
489.2990, saintbarnabas@sbcglobal.net Long-term Care Ombudsman Services of SLO County Compassion & Choices (or Final Exit)
Eating Disorders Support Group 785.0132 800.247.7421 or 489-5481
546-3774; free, meets weekly in SLO Lymphedema Education & Support Group
Grief Awareness Group Please send additions, corrections or deletions to:
2nd Monday, 4-5 pm, 782-9300
489.2990, saintbarnabas@sbcglobal.net Parkinson’s Support Groups womenspress.slo@gmail.com or leave a message at
466.7226 (Atascadero/Templeton) the WCC: 805.544.9313. Last update 2/25/09.
 Mama’s Meatball
Fine Italian Cuisine

Near Downtown
Deluxe Continental Breakfast
Pool & Spa
Fitness Room
Guest Laundry
Suites
SAN LUIS OBISPO
Dine-in • Take-out • Full Catering Service
2050 Garfield Street All three locations are open: Mon.-Sun. 10:30 AM to 9:00 PM
San Luis Obispo, CA 93401 570 Higuera St., #130 • San Luis Obispo, Ca 93401- tel. 805.544.0861
Toll Free: 800.544.7250 New Locations:
805.549.9911 Fax: 805.546.0734 325 Pier Ave. • Oceano, CA 93425 • tel. 805.473.2383
SUPPORTERS OF WOMEN IN BUSINESS! In Avila Hotsprings • San Luis Obispo, CA 93405 • tel. 805.627.0288
Also, order on line: www.MamasMeatball.com