Assertive Communication

PMO Knowledge Sharing

Presented by

Valluvan. A

Assertive Communication

Communication
Communication is the process of transferring signals/messages between a sender and a receiver through various methods (written words, nonverbal cues, spoken words). It is also the mechanism we use to establish and modify relationships.

Assertive Communication

Assertiveness
Assertiveness is the ability to formulate and communicate one's own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct and nonaggressive way. Expressing yourself in a clear affirmative manner. Helping others around you to grow by giving direct, honest feedback. Knowing about yourself and your career ambitions. Being productive.

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Styles of Communication
Passive
A person operating from the passive style, tends to avoid conflict at all costs. This person will internalize discomfort rather than risk upsetting others. This style tends to result in a lose-win situation and results in feelings of victimization, resentment and loss in sense of control. A person who uses this style in many of his daily interactions has belief that other people needs are more important than their own.

Assertive Communication

Styles of Communication
Passive . . . . .
The person thinks that if he/she speaks up, others will ignore or reject them. This individual usually has a low sense of self-esteem. Has a difficult time recognizing his/her own needs and knowing how to get them met more appropriately.

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Styles of Communication
Aggressive
The person creates a win-lose situation. This individual uses intimidation and control to get his/her needs met and is disrespectful and hurtful to others in communications. This person believes that power and control are the only way to get needs met. This person operates from a real sense of inadequacy and may have a lack of empathy for others.

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Styles of Communication
Passive - Aggressive
The Passive-Aggressive person incorporates elements of both of the previous styles. He/she tends to use procrastination, forgetfulness, and intentional inefficiency rather that being direct in his communications with others.

Assertive Communication

Styles of Communication
Assertive
The Assertive person is direct with the goal of creating a winwin situation. This style respects ones own rights and opinions, as well as those of the other person. This individual operates from the belief that each of us is responsible for solving our own problems and neither party in communication has to justify themselves to each.

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What.?
It is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people. It allows us to constructively confront and find a mutually satisfying solution where conflict exists.

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Why.?
Quite often when we feel vulnerable or unsure of ourselves we may resort to submissive, manipulative or aggressive behavior. To enables us to swap old behavior patterns for a more positive approach to life. Response to others (work colleagues, clients or even own family) will be exciting.

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Advantages
Improve interpersonal relationships. Enhance self esteem. Minimize stress. Reduce feelings of helplessness/depression. Reduce conflicts/anxiety. Retain self respect. Treats others respectfully. Gives a sense of control.

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Features
Eye Contact : demonstrates interest, shows sincerity. Body Posture : congruent body language will improve the significance of the message. (congruent means coinciding/matching at all situations) Gestures: appropriate sign/signal helps to add emphasis. Voice : a level, well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable and is not intimidating. Timing : use your judgment to maximize receptivity and impact. Content : how, when and where you choose to comment is probably more important than WHAT you say.

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Techniques
Behaviour Rehearsal
Which is literally practicing how you want to look and sound. It is a very useful technique when you first want to use "I" statements, as it helps dissipate any emotion associated with an experience and allows you to accurately identify the behavior you wish to confront.

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' i ' Statements

Part of being assertive involves the ability to appropriately express your needs. You can accomplish this by using "I" statements. Strong "I" statements have three specific elements : Behaviour. Feeling. Tangible effect (consequence to you). Example

Assertive Communication

Techniques
Repeated Assertion
Is also called the 'broken record, this technique allows you to feel comfortable by ignoring manipulative verbal side traps and irrelevant logic while sticking to your point. Use calm repetition, and say what you want and stay focused on the issue.

Assertive Communication

Techniques
Fogging
This technique allows you to receive criticism comfortably without getting anxious or defensive and without rewarding manipulative criticism. To do this you need to acknowledge the criticism, agree that there may be some truth to what they say, but remain the judge of your choice of action.

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Techniques
Negative Enquiry
This technique seeks out criticism about yourself in close relationships by prompting the expression of honest, negative feelings to improve communication.

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Techniques
Negative Assertion
This technique lets you look more comfortably at negatives in your own behavior or personality without feeling defensive or anxious, this also reduces your critics' hostility. You should accept your errors or faults, but need not apologize. Instead, tentatively and sympathetically agree with hostile criticism of your negative qualities.

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Techniques
Workable Compromise
When you feel that your self-respect is not in question, consider a workable compromise with the other person.

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Why it is Important?
Brings achievement of individual and shared goals. Increases your ability to reach these goals while maintaining your rights and dignity. Expresses yourself in a clear affirmative manner. Helps others around you grow by giving direct and honest feedback. Lets you know about yourself and your career ambitions. Leads you to be productive. Getting your message across without stepping on others toes .

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Test your Skills

Can you express negative feelings about other people and their behaviors without using abusive language? Are you able to exercise and express your strengths? Can you easily recognize and compliment other people's achievements? Do you have the confidence to ask for what is rightfully yours? Can you accept criticism without being defensive? Do you feel comfortable accepting compliments?

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Test your Skills

Are you able to stand up for your rights? Are you able to refuse unreasonable requests from friends, family, or colleagues? Do you ask for assistance when you need it? A "Yes" response to the questions indicates you are an assertive communicator.

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Remember
Assertiveness in communication is a useful tool. It's application is contextual and it's not appropriate to be assertive in all situations. Your sudden use of assertiveness may be perceived as an act of aggression by others.

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Thank You