God’s Design For

Your Marriage

Wife’s Role
RESPECT
November 30 , 2008
Pastor John Isaacs
KingsWay Community Church
No God = No Design
Marriage is
Humanity’s Own
Social & Cultural
Invention
But, There Is A God
And There Is An
Intelligent Design
Humanity Made In
HIS Image
God’s Design
Genesis 1:27
So God created man in His own
image; in the image of God He
created him; male and female
He created them.
God Designed
Marriage
Great Marriages
Come From Doing It
God’s Way!
Genesis 2:24
For this cause a man shall
leave his father and his
mother, and shall cleave to
his wife; and they shall
become one flesh.
God’s Design
Marriage was designed
to be a lifelong covenant
bond between one man
and one woman.
What Happens
When Mankind
Abandons
God’s Design?
Romans 1:24
So God abandoned them to do
whatever shameful things their hearts
desired.
1. Sexual Promiscuity
2. Pornography
3. Adultery
4. Homosexuality
5. Pedophilia
God’s Design
1. Genesis 1-3
2. Ephesians 5:21-33
3. Colossians 3:18-19
4. 1 Peter 3:1-7
5. Titus 2:5
6. 1 Timothy 3:4, 12
Husband’s Role
1. To Love
2. To Serve
3. To Lead
Husband’s Role
1. Priest
2. Prophet
3. King
Wife’s Role
1. Be a Helper
2. Be Respectful
3. Be Submissive
The ‘S’ Word
Submission
 Hupotasso
To place oneself
under an orderly
arrangement.
“The disposition to
yield to her husband’s
guidance and her
inclination to follow his
leadership.”
- John Piper and Wayne Grudem
Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
Ephesians 5:31-33
31 As the Scriptures say, “A man
leaves his father and mother and is
joined to his wife, and the two are
united into one.” 32 This is a great
mystery, but it is an illustration of the
way Christ and the church are one. 33
So again I say, each man must love
his wife as he loves himself, and the
wife must respect her husband.
 Love &
Respect
By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
 The love she most
desires,
the respect he
desperately needs.
• A wife has a driving need
- to be loved. When that
need is met, she is more
fulfilled.
 Without Love
The
Crazy
Cycle
He Reacts
She Reacts

Without Respect
 His Love
The
Energizing
Cycle
Motivates
Motivates

Her Respect
1. Appreciate his desire to
work and achieve.
• Tell him verbally or in writing that you
value his work efforts.
• Express your faith in him related to his
chosen field.
• Listen to his work stories as closely as
you expect him to listen to your accounts
of what happens in the family.
1. Appreciate his desire to
work and achieve.
• See yourself as his helpmate and
counterpart and talk with him about this
whenever possible.
• Allow him to dream as you did when you
were courting
• Don’t dishonor or subtly criticize his work
“in the field” to get him to show more love
“in the family.”
2. Appreciate his desire to
protect and provide.
• Verbalize your admiration of him for
protecting you and being willing to die for
you.
• Praise his commitment to provide for
and protect you and the family (he needs
to know you don’t take this for granted).
2. Appreciate his desire to
protect and provide.
• Never, in word or body language, put
down his job or how much he makes.
• Respectfully voice concerns about
finances and try to offer solutions on
where you might be able to cut spending.
• Story of E. V. Hill’s wife.
3. Appreciate his desire to
serve and to lead.
•Tell him you are thankful for his strength
and enjoy being able to lean on him at
times.
• Praise his good decisions.
• Be gracious if he makes a bad decision.
• Disagree with him only in private and
honor his authority in front of the kids.
3. Appreciate his desire to
serve and to lead.
• Give your reasons for disagreeing
quietly and reasonably, but you never
attack his right to lead.
• Do not demand that he agree with your
perspective as a sign of his love for you.
4. Appreciate his desire to
analyze and counsel.•
• Tell him upfront you just need his ear;
don’t complain to him later that he always
tries to “fix” you.
• Thank him for his advice without acting
insulted or like he doesn’t care about your
feelings.
• Recognize his problem-solving approach
as his male brand of empathy.
4. Appreciate his desire to
analyze and counsel.
• Realize your vulnerabilities and value his
protection.
• Counsel him respectfully when you differ
with his ideas (you can be right but wrong
at the top of your voice).
• Admit that you can be wrong and thank
him for his perception and godly counsel.
5. Appreciate his desire for
shoulder-to-shoulder
friendship.
• Tell him you like him and show it (he
knows you love him, but he might often
wonder if you really like him).
• Respond to his invitation to engage in
recreational activities together or at least
come along to watch him.
5. Appreciate his desire for
shoulder-to-shoulder
friendship.
• Enable him to open up and talk to you as
you do things shoulder to shoulder.
• Encourage him to spend time alone,
which energizes him to reconnect with you
later.
5. Appreciate his desire for
shoulder-to-shoulder
friendship.
• Don’t denounce his shoulder-to-shoulder
activities with his male friends to get him
to spend more face-to-face time with you.
• Respect his friendships, and he will be
more likely to want you to join him
shoulder to shoulder at other times.
6. Appreciate his desire for
physical intimacy.
• Respond to him sexually more often and
initiate sex periodically.
• Let him acknowledge his sexual
temptations without fearing he’ll be
unfaithful and without shaming him.
6. Appreciate his desire for
physical intimacy.
• Understand his need for sexual intimacy
just as you need emotional intimacy.
• Don’t try to make him open up to you
verbally by depriving him of sex.
Appreciate his desire …
• to work and achieve.
• to protect and provide.
• to serve and lead.
• to analyze and counsel.
• to have shoulder-to-shoulder
friendship.
• to have physical intimacy.
His Love Blesses Her,
Regardless of Her
Respect.
Her Respect Blesses
Him, Regardless of
His Love.
 His Love
The
Rewarded
Cycle
Regardless of
Regardless of

Her Respect