The Concept of Love

…
in Islam
 Definition of Love and Role of Media

• The Media dictates a lot of values and what you

should feel, how you should feel, and how you
should express your love.
• The concept of Love is developed by years and years
of TV. Hollywood/Bollywood/Disney;
• Most Muslims don’t even know the Islamic concept
of Love. They think Islam is very dry.
Love in Quran
• Root word: Hubbah seed
• Arabic: Muhabbah
• Love is like a seed; it germinates.
• Function of the heart is to love
• Allah gave us the ability to love
• “ ‘Am I not your Lord?’, ‘Indeed’ ”
[7:172]
 7 Types of People Allah Loves

“Indeed, Allah loves…”

• Tawwabeen
• Mutatahireen
• Muhsineen
• Muttaqeen
• Saabireen
• Muqsiteen
• Mutawwakileen
 5 Types of People Allah does not love
“Indeed Allah does not love…”
• Mu’tadeen
• Mufsideen
• Dhaalimeen
• Kaa’ineen
• Mutakabbireen
 Love in Hadith
• “Whoever possesses 3 traits will taste the sweetness of Imaan. Firstly that he
loves Allah and His messenger above all else; he loves someone solely for the
sake of Allah; he hates to go back to disbelief as he would hate to be thrown into
the fire.”
• “Among the 7 groups of people under Allah’s arsh on the Day of Judgement,
there will be those who love one another solely for Allah. They will meet on this
love and they will part on this love.”
• HQ: Allah will say on DOJ, “Where are those who love one another in my Jalal,
in my Greatness?”
• “You cannot have complete Imaan unless you love one another.”
• “If a person loves his brother, he should tell him that he loves him.”
• “Wallahi, I love you”
• About the companion who told the Prophet he loves a certain man, “May Allah
also love you for whom you love me.”
• “A person will be with whom he loves.”
 Conclusion of Part 1
• The concept of Love in Quran and Hadith is
either directly related to Allah, or the Prophet
(saw), or to other people based on love for
Allah and the Prophet (saw).
• This is the Islamic & Quranic Paradigm.
• Every relationship, every love, if you connect it
to Allah, it becomes TRUE LOVE
 Intellect vs.Emotion
• All emotions serve some purpose. Love is an
emotion created by Allah and given to us in
our heart, something we are supposed to use,
but we ABUSE it by giving it to the wrong
person.
• When a person makes decisions and actions,
they are based on 2 things: Think first with
your brain, then look at your emotions.
 Intellect vs. Emotion
• In Islam, use intellect and emotions to make
decisions. If your intellect is not guiding you 100%
turn to your emotionsIstikhaarah. When your brain
stops at some place, let your heart decide.
• If you want to trust your emotions, you have to
already be having love for Allah, the Messenger
(saw), love for the right people for the right reasons.
When you have this basic foundation, it puts
emotions in their proper place. THEN you can trust
your heart.

False Love
• Materialistic basis
• Enjoying one’s company
• Boys: attraction is physical
• Girls: attraction is
emotional
True Love vs False Love-1
True Love
• Spiritual/Ethical basis
• Based on Imaan, the
person’s relationship with
Allah; his spirituality;
• Most important thing is
spiritual development, not
emotional fulfillment.
 True Love vs False Love-2
False Love
• Lacks commitment and
responsibility
• False promises are the
biggest indication
True Love
• Enforces solid commitment
and responsibility
• Person has intention of
fulfilling the other person’s
rights.
• Intention to be there thru
thick and thin
• Quran mentions the words
“ittaqullah” when it talks
about fulfilling rights of the
spouse
 True Love vs False Love-3
False Love True Love
• Love at first sight purely • Developed over time
physical materialistic • Has to be worked for and
basis maintained. It doesn’t just
• Taught by the media “happen”
• Temporary, easy come easy • Not until ‘death do us part”,
go lacks commitment and it is for eternity.
responsibility
 True Love vs False Love-4
False Love
• Idea of being “madly in
love”, infatuation
• Excessively attached to that
person, like a drug
addiction.
• “Your love of a thing causes
blindness and deafness”
• When it crashes and comes
down you realize it was
nothing but an infatuation.
• Disregards others
True Love
• Healthy, stable, balanced,
“boring”.
• Mature love
• Makes one care for others,
balanced, living in harmony
in society.
• It is not a selfish love
 True Love vs False Love-5
False Love True Love
• Leads to discontentment and • Leads to Allah’s mercy and
anxiety blessings
• Even after spending • Leads to peace and
majority of their time with tranquility sign of a
that person, they are sad successful marriage
and down
 True Love vs False Love-6
False Love
• Leads to haraam acts.
• Brings death to the spiritual
heart
• Obstacle in coming closer to
Allah swt
• Brings disgrace in this
world
• Ruins worldly life
• Makes one distant from
Allah- biggest indication
True Love
• Same acts regarded as
ibaadah/reward
• Nikkah is half of Imaan
• Brings honor and respect
• Secures worldly life—full of
barakah
• Results in coming closer to
Allah swt
 Conclusion of Part 2
• If you really want to, check: if this relationship
is good for you or bad for you? Is this false
love or true love? Check in your heart and ask
yourself, “Am I still closer to Allah after all
this or do I feel farther from Allah?” You have
to be honest with yourself, and remember, your
conscience never lies!
 Is there no romance in Islam?
• Romance is one part of a successful marriage
• Components of a successful marriage:
• Commitment
• Mercy
• Trust
• Respect
• Sacrifice
• Love and Romance
• If a marriage is ONLY based on romantic love,
eventually the “honeymoon phase” will be
over. When the romantic love goes down, the
marriage goes down and it suffers.
• We have an opposite problem in our society.
There is a lack of romance in the marriage,
and this is something most people need to
work on, doesn’t matter what your age is. You
will be emotionally unfulfilled.
 Quranic Concept of Marriage
• “And among His signs is this: He made for you spouses from yourself so
that you may find peace with them and He made love and mercy between
you.” [30:21]
• “Muwadda” means love with commitment to Allah and your spouse.
Allah puts this love and mercy in a marriage. It ONLY comes for
marriage.
• The purpose of marriage is to find peace
• Peace is achieved through love and mercy which is the hallmark of a
successful marriage
• Mercy is the 2nd most important part of marriage, it comes in the middle
and end part of marriage when those physical feelings go down.
• True love comes in marriage, romantic love (based on false notions) leads
to fatal attraction. Fatal for your deen, spirituality, and your dunya. If
you don’t do tawbah, then fatal for your Akhirah too.
 Quranic concept of Marriage
• “They (wives) are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.”
[2:187]
• Beautiful metaphor describing the relationship of husband and wife.
• How does clothing portray as successful marriage?
• It hides and covers, covers your faults, covers your private areas. Without it you
become vulnerable.
– Husband and wife cover the faults of one another, they protect them, they hide their
faults.
• A particular clothing enhances us. We wear certain styles, and certain colors
because they complement our beauty.
– Husband and wife complement one another. If one person is lazy, the other is energetic.
If one is quiet, the other is talkative. So a husband and wife should enhance one
another.
• It is the closest thing to your body. We feel comfortable in them, it doesn’t matter
how old or worn it is.
– Husband wife relationship is like this. You feel empty without them. They are the closest
to you. Someone you are comfortable with. That comfort level should be there.
 Expression of Love in Hadith
• If you want to learn romance, learn it from
Hadith. This is how the Prophet (saw) treated
his wives. Both the Prophet (saw) and Aisha
(ra) were very expressive in their love for one
another.
 4 Characteristics of a Good Wife
• In order to find Mr. Right, you have to become
the right person. You have to become a woman
of deen. “Marry the woman of deen, prefer
that girl over everything else.”
• We should develop these characteristics:
• Hayaa (Modesty)
• Sweet Tongue
• Kind Heart
• Productive
 Marrying someone for Deen
• 4 things a woman should look for in a
husband:
• Trustworthy
• Righteous
• Good manners
• Strength
 Game Plan of Marrying Mr. Right
• You should think with your head; is this true love? Is this false
love? Is this love from a spiritual basis or a materialistic
basis? Is this person close to Allah? Is this person working to
become close to Allah?
• Then think with your heart; Do I have that attraction? Do I
have the natural compatability?
• Then you think again with your head; What does Islam say
about it? What does Allah say? What does the Prophet say?
What do our scholars say?
• Then you think with your heart; Perform Istikharah and plan
course of action.
 End Note
• On a deeper level, these are all human
relationships which means they will have
issues and complications. The main
relationship we have to work on, our “true
love”, the truest and purest form of love is love
for Allah swt. If we work on this love,
everything else will fall in place. When one
does try their best and it is still not working,
they have to turn to a truer form of love, that is
Allah’s love.