H

O
W

T
O

1
.
Instead of you, say th
o
u
or th
ee (and instead of yall, say ye.)

2
. R
h
ym
ed c
o
u
plets
are all the rage.

3
. Men are S
irrah
, ladies are M
is
tres
s
, and your friends are
all called C
o
u
s
in.

4
. Instead of cursing, try calling your tormenters jac
kanapes

or c
anker-blo
s
s
o
m
s
or po
is
o
no
u
s

bu
nc
h
-bac
kd to
ads
.

5
. Dont waste time saying it, just use the letter t (tis
, tw
ill,


I
ll do
t).

6
. Vers
e for lovers, pro
s
e for ruffians, s
o
ngs
for clowns.

7
. W
hen in doubt, add the letters eth to the end of verbs
(h
e ru
nneth
, h
e trippeth
, h
e falleth
).

8
. To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with m
eth
inks
,


m
ayh
aps
, in s
o
o
th
or w
h
erefo
re.

9
. W
hen wooing ladies: try comparing her to a summers day. If that fails,
say G
et th
ee to
a nu
nnery!

1
0
. W
hen wooing lads: try dressing up like a man. If that fails, th
ro
w

h
im
in th
e T
o
w
er, banis
h
h
is
friends
and
c
laim
th
e th
ro
ne.
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