Self-care Toolkit

Erin Piatt
Elayne Greeley
Catherine Dwyer

Self-care

What is Self-care?
Its very simpleits about taking care of the most important person in your lifeYOU!
Think about it as taking time for a refresher or a break for yourself.
When youre feeling stressed out, ask yourself what is the most loving or enjoyable thing I can
do for myself right now and then DO IT!
Self-care can be anything you want it to be anything that uplifts your mood, energizes you
and makes you feel better about yourself. It can be fun; it can be creative; it can be downright
silly!
Self-care is a very individual thing what makes you feel better might be different from
someone else.
Self-care begins with being aware of how youre feeling physically, emotionally and spiritually.
In other words Are you feeling stressed out?
Sometimes we may not even be aware that were stressed out so it is important to check in
with yourself regularly and note the warning signs that indicate when you are feeling stressed.
Self-care begins with self-awareness.

So, how do we know when we are stressed? What are your warning signs?
Consider some of the following warning signs:

Eating too much or too little

Sleeping too much or too little
Feeling anxious and/or depressed
Racing thoughts
Dwelling on the same thoughts over
and over
Neck and back tension
Headaches
Clenched jaw, fists, toes, fingers
Heart is racing
Butterflies in the stomach

Feeling bad about yourself

Cant concentrate/confusion/
spacing out
Negative thoughts
Feeling exhausted with no energy to
do anything
Over-reacting to things
Blaming everyone else for your
problems
Giving in to other peoples demands
on you

Health problems that keep

happening or are new
Developing bad habits or the bad
habits are getting worse
Feeling disconnected from everyone
Bad memory
Cant sleep/nightmares
Stomach/digestive issues
Pimples and other skin problems
Weight gain/loss
Increased use of drugs/alcohol

Feeling out of control

Feeling numb/shut down/hopeless
Cant make decisions
Feeling isolated/withdrawal
Cynicism/apathy/boredom
Negative self-talk
Resentment/distrust/intolerance
Loss of direction/loss of meaning
Other

When youre feeling stressed out, ask yourself:

Am I okay at this very moment, this second?

How am I feeling physically and emotionally?
Whats stressing me out right now?
What little things can I do right now and throughout the day that make me feel
better?

What can we do to look after ourselves? What works for you? Some
suggestions:

Exercise or do a fun physical activity

Get enough sleep
Eat regularly and eat nutritious
foods
Drink more water
Get regular medical care for
prevention and when needed
Take time off when youre sick
Get massages or other body/energy
work
Take time to be sexual
Get connected to others build a
supportive network for yourself
Hang around with people that make
you feel good about yourself

Try out hobbies/activities that you

enjoy
Take breaks from the things that
stress you out
Replace negative self-talk with
positive self-talk
Make time for just you
Forgive yourself if you make a
mistake
Ask for help when you need it
Accept and love yourself
Take stretch breaks
Take deep breaths when youre
feeling stressed

Write your thoughts and feelings

down
When you have a problem, talk it
out with someone you trust
Try to live in day-tight
compartments
Every day, do something that you
truly love
Set realistic goals for yourself and
work towards them
Dont beat yourself up for not
attaining all your goals
Watch funny video clips
Accept and anticipate change; learn
how to cope with it
Take a tea/coffee/lunch break
Take a vacation or mini-break
Know your triggers and how you
personalize things
Know what to defend against and
whats unnecessary
Know when to pull out of an
experience and develop a
mechanism for withdrawal
Know what you can and cant handle
Own only your own stress, not
others
Create a Self-Care First-Aid toolkit
for emergencies
Take a break from/turn off phones,
email, pagers, smartphones, etc.

Seek counseling if needed

Read literature unrelated to work
Reread favorite books and watch
favorite movies/tv shows again
Identify comforting activities,
objects, people, relationships, and
places, and seek them out
Allow yourself to cry
Find things that make you laugh and
have fun
Make time for prayer, meditation,
and reflection
Spend time in nature
Participate in a spiritual gathering,
community, or group
Celebrate milestones /
accomplishments
Sing, dance and/or listen to inspiring
music
Identity and pursue projects or tasks
that are exciting, growth promoting,
and rewarding for you
Set limits with clients and colleagues
and stick to them
Balance your caseload so that no
particular day is too much!
Arrange your workspace to make it
comfortable and comforting
Get regular supervision/consultation
Debrief when needed
Negotiate for your needs
Be silly/playful and creative
Other

Source: Transforming the Pain: A Workbook on Vicarious Traumatization. Saakvitne, Pearlman & Staff of TSI/CAAP (Norton,
1996)

Creating Your Own Self-Care First-Aid Kit

A Self-Care First-Aid Kit is a well-prepared plan of action put in place before you actually need
to use it. It consists of things that you can do immediately on a physical, emotional, and
spiritual level that will give you comfort, connection, and a feeling of steadiness so that you can
navigate your way through a crisis or stressful period during your life. To create your own
personal kit, think about the following:
1. Who can I turn to for support? Who comforts me, makes me feel safe and allows me to have
my feelings?
2. Who do I need to avoid? Who adds to my anxiety level, overwhelms me with questions, or
has a tough time just listening without interrupting or offering advice?
3. What does my body need to feel nurtured, strong and healthy?
4. What responsibilities or commitments do I need to let go of to clear some space so that Im
able to feel my feelings and honor my needs?
5. What unhelpful coping strategies or activities do I need to avoid?
6. What do I need to feel comforted at this time?
7. How will I best express my feelings?
8. What can I do to take a break from the emotional stress? Whats my best healthy
distraction?
9. What spiritual practices restore my faith or connects me with a Higher Power of my own
understanding??
10. What object can I use as a talisman that will remind me to breathe, relax my thinking mind,
and return my awareness to the present moment?
Source: The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time. Richardson, Cheryl. (Hay House, 2009).

Three Minute Breathing Space

Sit comfortably wherever you are (in a chair; in the washroom; at your desk) with your feet flat on the
floor and your hands resting on your lap.
Close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply. Focus on every inhale and every exhale.
Let your breathing bring you into the present moment. Let yourself start to relax as you continue to
focus on your breathe.
Ask Yourself: What is my experience right now what am I thinking what am I feeling and what
are my bodily sensations? Acknowledge what youre thinking and feeling and let it go.
Gently redirect your full attention to breathing: to each in-breath and to each out-breath as they
follow, one after the other. Your breath can function as an anchor to bring you into the present and
help you tune into a state of awareness and stillness.

Expand the field of your awareness around your breathing, so that it includes a sense of the
body as a whole, your posture, and facial expression.
Return to paying attention to just your breath. Slowly bring your awareness back to your
body and your surroundings. Wiggle your fingers and toes as you slowly bring your
awareness back to the room. If you feel the need to do so, you may stretch. When you are
ready, open your eyes.

Susan McConnell, MSW

How to Release Built-up Stress

Think in terms of opening a valve that lets off steam. When you are feeling like a pressure
cooker, you need to release the steam from your body! Try the following stretch called
Connecting Heaven and Earth that takes about 5 min.

Sit or stand comfortably.

Rub your hands together and shake them off.
Place your hands on your thighs with your fingers spread apart.
With a deep inhalation, circle your arms out to your sides.
On the exhalation, bring your hands together in front of your chest in a prayer pose.
With a deep inhalation, separate your arms from each other, stretching one arm high above your head
and flattening your hand back with palm facing up, as if pushing against something above you.
Stretch the other arm down, again flattening your hand with palm facing down, as if you were pushing
something down toward the ground.
Look upward and hold the stretch and your breath as long as is comfortable .
Release your breath through your mouth as you return your hands to the prayer position in front of
your chest.
Repeat, switching the arm that raises and the arm that lowers.
After this first set, do two or more sets.
Coming out of this pose the final time, drop your arms and allow your body to fold over at the waist.
Hang there with your knees slightly bent as you take two deep breaths.
Slowly return to a standing position with a backward roll of the shoulders.
Eden, Donna & Feinstein, David. (1998). Energy Medicine: Balancing Your Body's Energies for Optimal Health, Joy,
and Vitality. USA: Penguin Group. pp. 266-268.

Muscle Relaxation

Sit or lie in a comfortable position. Close your eyes.

Begin by focusing on your breathe and slowing down your inhale / exhale.
Beginning with your toes, tighten each muscle group in your body, hold it for a few moments and then
release it rapidly.
So, for instance, curl your toes up and hold for a few moments and then rapidly release them.
Then tighten the muscles of the claves of your legs. Hold and let go.
Do the same with your thighs, buttocks, abdomen, fists, arms, shoulders, neck and face muscles.
Make sure you are breathing in and out and emphasis your exhale when you release the tension.
When you are finished, scan your body in your mind and if there is any place still tense, focus on that
muscle; tighten and loosen it a few times until the tension is gone.
Continue to focus on your breathing for a few moments. Stretch and open your eyes when you are
ready.
The whole exercise can be as short or as long as you would prefer.

Letting Go of your Anger / Frustration

You are angry or frustrated and you are holding it in. Don't. Try this instead:

Pounding the Pillow

Find a room where you can be alone and make noise without feeling self-conscious. Bring pillows with
you.
Now, begin talking out loud about the way you feel. Don't hold back and don't be polite. Get as mad
as you like. Raise your voice, shout, wave youre arms, stamp your feet, swear.
Alternatively, if you are somewhere where you can't make a lot of noise, you can shout and swear into
the pillow to muffle the sounds.
When you really begin to let go, pick up a pillow and begin punching it. Throw it across the room. Pick
up another pillow and beat it up.
Keep doing it until you begin to feel relaxed and relieved.
What you are doing is letting go of your anger in a situation that is under control that will not hurt
anyone.

For additional suggestions, dont hesitate to contact:

Catherine Dwyer at cdwyer@thrivecyn.ca
Erin Piatt at erin.piatt@gmail.com
Elayne Greeley at c.c.e.p.project@gmail.com