Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Script
Script
NET
PickupTubes collection of some of the most informative and helpful articles on the internet about
meeting, attracting and seducing women.
Table of Contents
The Seven Immutable Laws of Pick Up ............................................................................................... 4
I. The Law of Rejection: He Who Gets Rejected Gets Laid............................................................... 4
II. The Law of Lifestyle: Youre Only As Attractive As Your Lifestyle ................................................ 5
III. The Law of Aggression: Push Every Interaction to the Limits ..................................................... 7
IV. The Law of Sub-Communication: Its Not What You Say But WHY You Say It ............................. 8
V. The Law of Connection: You Can Only Share What You Know .................................................. 10
VI. The Law of Relationships: Setting and Managing Expectations ................................................ 12
VII. The Law of Inertia: Every Habit Requires Repetition............................................................... 14
Personalizing Pick Up: Finding What Works for You ......................................................................... 16
I. What Do You Want? ................................................................................................................. 16
II. Learning Styles and Inner Game ............................................................................................... 17
III. Natural Advantages/Disadvantages......................................................................................... 19
IV. Skills and Talents .................................................................................................................... 20
V. Current Sticking Points and Issues............................................................................................ 21
The Night Game Model The Guide to Picking Up Women At Night .............................................. 24
Night Game Model Part 1 ......................................................................................................... 24
Night Game Model Part 2 ......................................................................................................... 26
Night Game Model Part 3 ......................................................................................................... 28
Night Game Model Calibration.................................................................................................. 30
Night Game Model Calibration Examples .................................................................................. 32
Night Game Model Escalation ................................................................................................... 35
Night Game Model Logistics and Closing ................................................................................... 36
The Day Game Model The Guide to Picking Up Women During the Day....................................... 39
Day Game Model Part 1 ............................................................................................................ 39
Day Game Model Part 2 ............................................................................................................ 41
Day Game Model Part 3 ............................................................................................................ 44
Day Game Model Moving Sets .................................................................................................. 45
Practical Pick Up: The Fundamentals ............................................................................................... 47
How to Approach Women ........................................................................................................... 47
How to Talk to Women ................................................................................................................ 48
How to Attract Women ............................................................................................................... 48
How to Pick Up Girls at Bars......................................................................................................... 49
How to Meet Women During the Day .......................................................................................... 50
single PUA forum than you have opened sets in your entire life, you are a keyboard jockey.
Just had to get that out.)
But the most common way guys slink away from rejection lies in something called preselection. I do it. You do it. Everyone who Ive ever met in the community does it to some
extent. Its where you pick your targets from afar. This is where retarded claims like I can
go five for five come from (lame marketing ploys, by the way). Guys wait and see which
girls give them eye contact first. Or theyll dress like Marilyn Manson and stand in a goth
club until theyre opened. Or theyll wait around for a lone wolf or an easy two-set. Theyll
go for the drunk HB6s instead of the HB10 with three guys standing around her. Why?
Because its easier. Were ALL guilty of this. And it stems from the same cause: fear of
rejection.
How are we to improve without thrusting ourselves in front of the screeching headlights of
rejection? Subjecting ourselves to these painful possibilities is what ultimately forces us to
grow. This is what us more experienced guys are naive to. We get comfortable in our old
habits. HB8 SNLs are like clockwork to us, so we do little more than show up and collect
our reward (once again, Im guilty party numero uno here).
So why not try that super-hottie with three guys around her? Or try that posh club with
deafening house music and a $40 cover instead of the same hometown bar youve been
wrecking for months? Push yourself. Throw yourself to rejection and learn to love the pain.
Studies have shown that being rejected by another human being activates the exact same
neurons in our brains as physical pain does. You go to the gym because its good for you. No
pain, no gain, right? Condition yourself to love psychological pain. Tear your own ego to
shreds. Its the only path to progress.
back keeps us in our comfort zone because to our ego, trying something new and
outlandish is risky to our social acceptance.
The root of this behavior lies in the concern over social acceptance or receiving validation
from those outside of ourselves. Just as in my post on rejection we have to learn to accept
failure and in this case, ostracisization for doing things differently, doing things in a new
way, doing things that many people wont understand or accept.
What I get from a lot of guys is, But I dont know what I want to do, or I dont know what
Im passionate about. Do this. Grab a blank sheet of paper and set aside twenty minutes with
no distractions. Start a timer and begin a list a list of things you want to do before you die.
Your goal is to write down 100 items. Its not as easy as it sounds!
Afterwards, take a look at your list. See what sticks out to you. At least a couple of the items
should elicit an emotional response in you. You should see patterns and themes did a lot of
items involve travel? Family? Athletic goals? Intellectual pursuits? (Credit: Mr. Awesome for
this exercise.)
Contemplate your list and try to narrow these themes down to a few activities that can be
realistically done NOW! Do it. Write down five things you can do NOW that starts you on
the path towards the lifestyle you desire. And then what? Go DO those five things today.
This exercise is two-pronged: it pushes you down the road of doing things in your life that
YOU desire and simultaneously absolves you of any social pressure that may be holding you
back from your dreams. If you have things written down that you said to yourself, Oh, Ill
never have time to do that, or people would think Im crazy. GOOD! Do it anyway!
Lifestyle is the foundation for your outer game as well. Everything that you say or do with a
girl, will be tested against your lifestyle for congruence. Gurus always talk about how you
need to be congruent or else the girl will think youre a fake or a fraud, well what theyre
talking about is that your words have to line up with your lifetime of actions.
For instance, a guy in suspenders who talks about his stripper ex-girlfriend is going to get
weird looks. A guy in an Abercrombie and Fitch shirt who talks about the last time he painted
a landscape is going to get weird looks. A guy who talks about driving a Ferrari in Europe yet
lives in his moms basement is going to get OK, you get my point.
Your real life should be the foundation of all of your attraction and comfort material. Using
anything else will come across as incongruent. Thats why I see your lifestyle as the ceiling
of the amount of attraction you can build. No matter how tight your outer game is, if you live
with your mom, play World of Warcraft all day and are overweight in a stained T-shirt, you
will build NO attraction.
But if youre successful, dressed well, confident, well-traveled, genuinely happy, in good
shape, and have cool hobbies, your ceiling for attraction is EXTREMELY high.
Youre only as attractive as your lifestyle. Relinquish social expectations. Live the life you
want to lead no one else is going to.
Always be moving forward. Always be pushing the interaction. Expect more from yourself.
Swing for the fences. ALWAYS BE CLOSING!
IV. The Law of Sub-Communication: Its Not What You Say But WHY You Say
It
Think back to when you were a newbie with this stuff (or maybe you ARE a newbie). When
newbies first discover the community and the notion of improving their dating skills, whats
the first concept we ALL latch onto?
Whats the best thing to say to her?
Dozens of books are written on the subject enumerating hundreds of pick up lines or
openers not to mention the entirety of the seduction communitys routines. One
company even sells a Routine Manual with literally hundreds of pages of pre-scripted
conversation for guys to learn and then recite when they go out.
But heres the interesting part for any guy who has gone out and tried to use these techniques:
sometimes they work and sometimes they dont. Well, that would seem obvious right?
Sometimes you hit and sometimes you miss (despite what the marketing may say). But Im
not talking about some silly game or far-out palmistry routine here, Im talking about
something basic such as DHVing yourself or even opening with the common opinion opener
something that logically SHOULD work every time.
On this journey, one of the first Ah ha! moments is usually when we first realize that
exactly WHAT we say isnt the most important component in an interaction. My realization
came after I had been going out regularly for a few months. I was out with a natural friend.
The night had been uneventful, so we took our drunken stupor to the streets of downtown
Boston. Were walking by moving sets every few seconds when my friend spontaneously
calls out to one of them.
Hey you! Yeah you! Hey sweetheart, come here! I have to ask you something.
The girl nervously saunters over. My friend stands waiting, teetering here and there.
Universal anticipation: What the hell is he going to ask her?
My friend ended up pulling that night (hey, I said he was a natural). To this day its been one
of the most influential nights on my game. It crystallized in my mind that the words you say
are just the tip of the iceberg: the 20% of meaning that merely broaches the surface.
Jump ahead two years. Im coaching and working with students. I ran into a handful of guys
who had a peculiar problem: despite the fact that they were honest and cool, their DHV
stories didnt work. They fell flat EVERY time. I was a bit stumped until I went out in field
with them. They werent DHVing. They were bragging.
Whats the difference?
Purpose.
When you DHV properly when you share something personal about your life and
personality you simply state fact. Its an offering. Shes free to accept it, to be impressed,
disgusted, amazed, bored. Whatever. When you brag, youre seeking a reaction. Youre
seeking rapport and even adulation.
Take negging or teasing. Some guys do it and get horrible results. Others do it and get
fantastic results. Whats the difference between insulting and teasing? Ones purpose is to cut
the other person down maliciously, the other is to generate playfulness and lightness of a
subject that one may usually take too seriously.
When it boils down to it, ask yourself what the PURPOSE of everything you say is. Because
its going to be one of two things: either youre giving value or youre taking value. Youre
either seeking rapport or giving to everyone you meet unconditionally. Either youre looking
for validation in others or you have found it within yourself.
Sub-communication is an seemingly magical form of communicating that women are fluent
at yet men rarely acknowledge. Sub-communication is why No sometimes means Yes.
Why Im not going to sleep with you tonight, means I cant wait to fuck you many times
and get the fuck away from me other times. Its why, You make me feel special, can be
said by five different girls and mean five completely different things. WHY is she saying
this? WHY did I say what I did to her?
Too often men seek a literal interpretation of their interactions. She said X, so it HAS TO
MEAN Y. No!
You must look a step deeper. Look for what motivates peoples actions and words. When a
girl does something, ask yourself, Why? Then take that answer and ask, Why? Do it until
the motivations within the interaction become apparent.
She talked to me all night, but abruptly followed her friend to the bathroom.
Why?
She seemed to be getting annoyed or disconcerted the last few minutes.
Why?
She acted like I had just hurt her feelings.
Why?
She probably felt like I was rejecting her in some way.
Why?
V. The Law of Connection: You Can Only Share What You Know
What I want to talk about today is what is generally referred to in the community as comfort
game. I dont like that term, because it ignores the depth of the communication that actually
must go on to get a girl invested in the interaction. It makes it sound like all you have to do is
give the girl a back rub and tell her you like puppies, then shell magically say, Oh, what a
nice guy, let me spread my legs!
Comfort game is pretty useless unless the woman feels like shes connecting to you on some
deeper level. And to connect with you, you need to display an ability to empathize with her.
By empathize, I mean if she shares something personal, relate to the emotions she
experiences and share something personal that triggers those same emotions within you.
This is an extreme example, but lets say a girl talks about how her brother died of an
overdose and it shattered her life for six months. I could then talk about how one of my best
friends drowned when I was 19.
Heres the thing most guys get this and stop there. You build rapport: girl talks about A,
you talk about A, girl talks about B, you talk about B.
But in the example above, simply talking about it isnt enough, you want to CONNECT to
her emotions. So what I would do is describe the experience of dealing with death. Id talk
about the grieving process, the immobilizing depression, how I used humor to cope, feeling
like no one could relate to me no matter how much support I was offered, the complete
inability to wrap your mind around something that is so absolute as death, etc.
BAM! She gets it, because she lived through the exact same experiences. And because shes
lived it, she knows YOUVE lived it. Youre not just talking at each other, sharing facts, but
now you have shared a life experience almost as if you two lived it together.
This is building connection.
And building connection is reliant on one thing: you cant share what you dont know. In a
nutshell, the more self-aware one is about ones experiences, the more one will be relate to
others about their experiences.
As men, we generally suck at being aware of our experiences.
I noticed when I first started coaching and tried to get guys to build more comfort Id give
them the usual lines of You need to talk about yourself more, share yourself, Tell her about
yourself, etc. What these guys would do is start telling girls, Im from New Jersey. I like
the Yankees. I like Kanye and Jay-Z.
I got very frustrated and would tell them again, and so theyd go out and say, Im from
Newark, New Jersey. I REALLY like the Yankees. Kanye and Jay-Z are the best. What I
soon realized was in their minds they WERE sharing themselves. They just werent as aware
of their life, their motivations, their interests and especially THEIR EMOTIONS.
In these examples, even if the girl is from New York and into Jay-Z, shes not going to feel
that connected to you. Millions of guys out there are from New York and into Jay-Z. You
have to dig deeper, find what makes you unique as an individual WHY do you like Jay-Z?
Well, when I was young, my older brother would drive me to school and play old Jay-Z
albums. There you go, now were getting somewhere. Maybe you picked it up because you
really looked up to your brother, maybe he was the biggest father figure in your life. If so,
why is that? You need to ask yourself these questions and be willing to share the answers
with girls.
Its not an easy task, but every guy needs to find what differentiates him from the other
million guys in town. The good news is that you already ARE different than the other guys,
but the hard part is taking a long hard look at yourself to see whats so unique.
Its when you do this, not only do you distinguish yourself in the girls eyes, but youre able
to build connection based on your life experiences. For instance, that girl who also likes Jay-
Z, maybe she had an older brother who took her to a Jay-Z concert. You guys now have an
experience to relate to on a much deeper, personal and emotional level.
This law is kind of the other side of the coin of the last law of pickup. Whereas with subcommunication, youre constantly asking Why? in effort to understand the deeper causes of
HER actions. Connection and self-awareness is a process of constantly asking Why? to
understand the deeper causes of your actions.
Why?
Because you cant share what you dont know.
Follow it wherever it goes. Be open, honest, and communicate consistently. And if youre
fortunate enough to find a woman who is self-aware and communicates openly as well, then
get ready for a fantastic ride together.
exercising that muscle to use it well. Sure, the muscle always grows back much faster the
second time around, but be aware of the depreciation in skills.
Also, I meet a lot of guys who start practicing a new skill and get frustrated because nothing
changes after a week. It takes momentum. It takes inertia to get things going. And then once
its going, you dont have to worry about it stopping.
If you want SNLs. You need to focus on attraction game, super fast escalation and logistics.
You should be hitting clubs constantly. You should work on being social proofed out the ass
at those clubs. You should dress flashy and have a crazier lifestyle.
If you want to build up a rotation, you need a more balanced mix of game. You need a bit of
everything, but you also need to focus a lot on comfort, relationship management, phone/text
game and handling expectations.
Guys who simply want to have more options with women should make basic efforts to make
themselves more attractive (what I call building their passive attraction): developing their
lifestyle, dressing and grooming better, becoming a better conversationalist, etc.
Guys who need to develop their social skills mostly need reps. They need to be thrown into
social situations as much as possible because they were either sheltered or withdrawn
growing up. Theyre playing catch-up. They need to be drilled on abilities to help them think
on their toes, develop a sense of humor and relate to people more easily and often.
As you can see, theres not a one-size-fits-all answer to game. Different guys want different
things, so they should learn different things.
Ill be back next week focusing on the inner game component of how to get good with
women, but not in a traditional sense. What Ill focus on is not the inner game with women,
but the inner game of learning. Some guys learn faster than others and are able to change
themselves more quickly and efficiently.
Its well known that not everybody learns the same way in an academic setting, well thats
doubly true when it comes to learning pick up. Some guys are motivated by negative
feedback, some by positive feedback. Some guys want to focus on what they want, others
want to focus on what they DONT want.
When I first meet a girl, Ill tease her lightly to see how she handles it. If she responds well,
Ill keep doing it. If she doesnt, Ill stop. I calibrate to her.
I kind of calibrate like this with students as well. Some students react well to a coach getting
in their face and telling them they suck, pointing out every flaw, and nitpicking everything
they do. For some guys, thats what they need to hear to get motivated.
Other guys prefer to be encouraged. If you start berating them and telling them that theyre
shit, theyll become deterred or even defensive. But if you encourage them, helping them
focus on their goals and what they can achieve, they become motivated and perform.
There are other learning styles as well that we all have to be aware of. Some guys learn very
quickly, but they need to SEE how its done first to process it. Other guys learn very slowly
and they need a lot of repetition DOING it over and over.
This is where doing demo sets versus making the student do sets comes in. If I think the
student needs a lot of repetition and is just trying to get out of approaching, I wont demo.
But if he seems like hes pretty lost on exactly what he should be doing, Ill demo and try to
show him.
Finally, your inner game determines greatly your ability to learn. I feel like this is an
untapped subject in the community. Not your inner game with women, but your inner game
in general with learning.
Some guys are simply horrible at instituting new behaviors. They dont know how to change
themselves. Other guys are horribly un-disciplined. A lot of guys dont hold themselves to
high standards, or have poor beliefs about themselves. Most of these things are unconscious
in the students, so its important to find a mentor/coach/guru who can spot these issues and
uproot them for you. If a guy is plateauing for a long period of time, its usually because of
an inner game issue.
It bothers me that a lot of these aspects are ignored right now in the community. Coaches for
some companies get paid to drink beer and watch guys approach. Other coaches get paid to
hit on girls while guys stand around and watch. When it comes down to it, neither method
will get results.
And even if you are going out alone and have no intentions of working with someone or
taking a bootcamp, its important to be aware of these things within yourself so you can keep
yourself motivated, diligent and on-target throughout your development.
Ill be back next time talking about how every guy must evaluate his natural advantages and
disadvantages and adapt his game to them.
This is why Mystery Method doesnt work for everybody. This is why RSDs natural game
doesnt work for everybody. Because not everybody is made the same way, and these styles
of game dont cater to everyone equally.
If youre extremely good looking, and you tease girls mercilessly, youll come across as a
prick and an asshole.
Ill use some extreme examples to make my point. Imagine if Brad Pitt walked into a bar. He
wouldnt have to say a word. Literally, his presence itself would be enough to get him laid by
a really hot. Now, imagine if Brad Pitt walked into a bar, walked up to a girl and say, Pfft
nice nails, are they real? Yeah, whatever, dork The girl would freak out and tell
everyone, OMG, Brad Pitt is a fucking ASSHOLE!
Now imagine if Brad Pitt walked into a bar, walked up to a beautiful girl and said, youre
absolutely beautiful, and I dont usually do this, but I want to spend some time to get to know
you better. Totally, Chode-AFC-loser-pussy statement, right? What would the girl do?
Honestly, shed probably faint because itd be too good to be true for her.
Now imagine if Danny DeVito wasnt famous and he went into the same bar and said the
same thing. What would happen? The girls would laugh, think it was kind of flattering and
then politely ignore him. But now imagine if Danny DeVito came in and started negging and
busting on girls mercilessly? Would it get their attention? Definitely. Would it get their
attraction? If he was good enough at it, probably.
I call this concept Passive versus Active Attraction and I talk about it in great detail and
length in my book. Its an important concept that is glossed over way too often and costs a
ton of guys sets every night.
As Napoleon Dynamite once famously said, Chicks like guys with skills. Whether thats bo
staff skills or some other sort of skill, well, thats another post.
But this is a pretty simple concept that I feel like goes over the head of most guys coming
into the community. Just like the last post in the series focused on playing to your natural
advantages (be them physical, social or whatever), you should also play towards your best
skills.
For instance, if youre an excellent conversationalist, you shouldnt go to really loud clubs.
Why? Because its hard to carry on a really great conversation. Instead, you should focus on
day game, quieter lounges and social events.
If youre really good at escalating and getting a girl turned on, then you WOULD want to
focus on loud clubs, because those are the venues that facilitate those skills the best.
I often see guys reluctant to use their talents or connections to help themselves out. For
instance, if youre a guitarist in a band, why on earth wouldnt you sarge at your gigs? My
god, itd make everything 10 times easier. Thats a talent and skill you can put to your use. I
see this a lot with guys who are rich, but they dont want to drop money for bottle service or
VIP treatment because they feel like its cheating. If you have the money and dont mind
spending it, why not do it? Itll make things easier.
So ask yourself the following questions:
1) Which skills come naturally easy for you? Is it approaching? Conversation? Flirting and
attraction?
For me conversation skills were always very easy for me. Once I got into a set for 2-3
minutes, I never had problems holding it. So I avoided the super loud and crazy clubs that
facilitated that advantage.
2) What do you have going for you in your life that you can use to help you sarge?
For me, when I started, I was a fifth year senior in college. I was well connected in the party
scene and had tons of friends on campus. So instead of hitting bars all the time to cold
approach, I spent most of my first year in the community at college parties where I had a lot
of social proof. Sure, this was easier than cold approach at bars, but I got results pretty fast
and a year later when I did start going to bars and clubs, I was already that much better.
necessary knowledge from the unnecessary knowledge, the relevant from the irrelevant. This
will be different for every guy. In this series I set out to create a model in which for guys to
learn exactly what THEY need, nothing less, nothing more.
I. What Do You Want?
II. Learning Styles and Inner Game
III. Natural Advantages/Disadvantages
IV. Skills and Talents
V. Current Sticking Points and Issues
What I started doing at lair talks about six months ago is instead of giving any prepared
seminar or set agenda, I would ask guys to stand up, introduce themselves and talk about
what problems theyre having with game right now. I would then work through the issues
with the guys in front of the group so everyone could learn from it.
This has been a wildly successful talk. And I think part of the reason why (other than
personalizing my content), is that its showing guys that only a minority for any given
material is ever relevant to them at any given time.
What I mean by that is this. If I stood up in front of the room and gave a presentation on
attraction game, escalation, deep comfort game, relationship management, inner game no
matter what I say, the material will always only be relevant for a minority of the group at the
time because only a minority of guys will ever be addressing those particular issues at that
time.
When youre focusing on how to approach, you dont need to know about relationship
management. When you need to work on your SNL logistics, youre not concerned about
gaining attraction anymore.
Like a student of mine said once: I heard the stuff you said, but I wasnt ready to learn it yet
back then.
This is a really important concept, because its the root of the information overload thats
so problematic in the scene right now.
Guys may run into a sticking point, lets say conversations for instance, except they dont
realize it. So instead they consume information and product and product about everything
under the sun. Theyre taking shots in the dark, hoping to solve their issue through sheer
lucky of stumbling upon the right information or often reviewing information they dont
need to work on.
More often than not, guys are really only being held up with one of the following:
- Approaching
- Maintaining conversation
- Building attraction
- Escalating
- Dominance and Aggression
- Building comfort
- Follow up game and dates
- Getting sexual, closing
There are a few other minor sticking points here and there, but Id say that 95% of guys will
fall into one of these categories.
And the thing is, you only get stuck on ONE AT A TIME.
So look at that list. Where are you stuck right now? Focus on it and forget everything else.
A lot is being said these days about how coaching is a scam and how you cant change
overnight, etc., etc.
In my opinion, this is the value of having a coach. A coach can watch you in two sets and
immediately know where youre stuck and give you multiple ways to unstick yourself.
Without a coach there to point it out, it can be like banging your head against a brick wall
trying things over and over and over.
Thats it for this series. Ill be going back and adding in all the links and making a main post.
I probably could have gone into a bit more detail with a couple of the posts. I still think the
idea of personalizing pickup is horribly overlooked in this industry. Unfortunately,
prospects and newbies who come into this find one size fits all models and gimmicks far
more appealing.
Oh well
Now that we have that out of the way, youre in a venue, there are tons of people there, what
are you doing next?
Pre-screening sets is an important step that almost nobody talks about (because it goes
completely against the classic three-second rule). When I get to a venue, I like to take a lap
around the venue and check out whats going on, what kind of people are there, how many
hot girls are there, what the logistical situation is like and if there are any easy pickens to
start out with.
You do this by looking at two things when you walk around: peoples logistics and peoples
body languages, or what I like to call, Whats their story?
1) Logistics is easy. Hot girl with three guys = poor logistics. Three hot girls by themselves at
the bar laughing a lot = good logistics. Large groups sitting down = hard set. Two girls
dancing with each other having a good time = easy set.
2) Whats their story? takes a lot more skill. You need to be able to read body language and
read people well (which is a vastly underrated skill). For instance, if I spot a three-set, two
girls and a guy, watching them for 10 seconds can reveal a lot about them. Are either the girls
with him? Are they blowing him off? Does he look chodey? Do they look like theyre
having fun, or are they there because they feel like they have to?
Figuring this shit out beforehand can be absolutely huge if you open them and cold-read them
(more on that later). For instance, if I observe a set for 15 seconds and then walk up and one
minute into the interaction say, you guys seem like youve been friends forever but dont get
to see each other often, its not a shot in the dark. Im saying it because they seem to really
like each other but also seem a bit nervous/awkward around one another (you know that
awkwardness you get when you hang out with an old friend you havent seen in years?
Yeah that). Anyway, you hit that nail on the head and bam, your value is through the roof.
More on cold-reading later.
Basically, what I do is after I check the specs for all of these things in each group of people, I
make some decisions: which girls do I want to talk to? Which sets would be easy? Which
would be hard? Which people seem interesting to me? Which women seem like theyd
naturally be into me? I take all of these factors into account and then prioritize the sets I want
to open. Generally, Ill start with whichever set has the combination of best logistics/hottest
girls/most inviting vibe and go down the list.
Quick note: to everyone who says, But isnt walking around a bar looking at everybody
make you seem like an AFC? Shouldnt you get into set right away so that EVERYONE
knows youre such a social, cool, alpha, pimpdaddy?
Ive never bought into this. Why? Because people really dont give a shit, especially girls.
Think back to the last night you were out and talking to a bunch of people I mean, the last
time you had a really great time with some friends (or in set) for a good hour or two. How
many people do you notice walking around by themselves? If you even noticed any, did you
care? Did you make a mental note: OMG, that guys by himself, what a fuck chode!
No, you probably assumed he was walking to the bathroom/bar/door or looking for someone.
No one cares. As long as you dont sit there and stare like a goddamn creeper, it doesnt
matter.
Ill be back with part two in a couple days going over opening, transitions, cold-reads and
continuing to screen.
comment on that. These cold reads usually range from neutral to hit the nail on the head.
When you hit the nail on the head with your cold read, combined with the direct, you have
pretty much instant attraction. A few months ago, I opened this really tall brunette direct, and
cold read her job perfectly my very next line (You look like a closet nerd, I bet youre an
engineer or something.) I was right and she FREAKED the fuck out. The attraction was
immediately through the roof and the rest of the set was a matter of escalating.
If I dont have anything to cold read on the specific set, I use one of a couple stock cold
reads: You dont look like youre from X, You guys look like youve been friends
forever, etc.
This will always get the conversation started down a general thread. As Ill focus on later,
you want every conversation to be about one of two things: you or her. I dont really fuck
around with routines, games or gimmicks. I want to know about her ASAP and want to share
myself ASAP, so these cold-reads get that started pretty quickly. On top of that, they
eliminate the annoying interview question habit and that percentage of the time when you
cold read them right, you get a nice boost of attraction.
Note: Often, just by cold reading them correctly and going direct, Ill already have more than
enough attraction to get laid by this point. Let me say that again. By simply going direct,
having great non-verbals, and cold reading well, Ill often have enough attraction to get laid.
The rest is a matter of escalating well. The biggest tip off for this is if she immediately starts
asking YOU interview questions.
For instance, I have sets that go like this sometimes:
Me: Hi, excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you. Im Mark.
Her: Oh wow, thank you.
Me: I got a really cool vibe from you, you seem more artistic than most of the other girls
here.
Her: Oh wow, Im a photographer, how did you know that? Thats amazing.
Me: I just had a feeling, thats why I wanted to meet you.
Her: Cool. So where are you from?
BAM! As soon as that, where are you from? comes out, in my mind, the games over.
Unless I majorly fuck up my escalation or comfort, she and I are going to get together.
A lot of guys fight against girls giving them interview questions, and this has never made
sense to me. If a girl is asking you questions, shes conveying nothing but interest. Why you
would ever punish her for that is beyond me.
Cold reading off of indirect openers: Same concepts apply. The only difference is if we get
into a conversation based on my opener, Ill adjust my cold read for the conversation. For
instance, lets say I use, Drunk, I love yous:
Me: Hey guys, quick question, do drunk I loves you count?
Them: What are those?
Me: See, my buddy Jack got drunk last night and texted this girl that he loved her. But he
doesnt remember doing it and now she thinks theyre a couple. What should he do?
Them: Blah, blah, blah (they usually say he cant take it back.)
Me: Well, Im sure youve done some stupid shit when youve been drunk.
Her: OMG, you have no idea.
Me: (Go into crazy drunk story)
This will get you about 30-60 seconds into the conversation. In part 3, Im going to through
how I cycle attraction and comfort. Again, similar to the day game model where you cycle
qualification and comfort, at night, I usually cycle teasing and comfort. Well talk about that
next time.
But also, once youve done 500-1,000 sets, youll notice a lot of patterns in conversation and
certain topics and questions that come up pretty frequently. You can develop stock
teases/jokes.
For instance, almost every set it comes up where Im from (Texas). I live in Boston. Probably
about 50% of girls ALWAYS ask me, why I moved to Boston from Texas. I always respond
the same way: I look at them as if they just asked me the most retarded question ever and say,
To get the fuck out of Texas duh. They always laugh. ALWAYS.
Another question I get all the time when this topic comes up is, But you dont have a
southern accent. I say, Yeah, because Im civilized.
I have probably used both of these lines at least 1,000 times at this point, and the girl laughs
(thus gaining attraction) at least 95% of the time. I still use them at least once a night.
Then there are the stock routine teases that come from the community. I have a couple that
I use over and over. Whenever a girl has trouble understanding me, or isnt listening to me, or
cant hear me, I always say, Look X, we have communication issues, this isnt going to
work any more, and I lightly push her away.
Another favorite is when a girl is feisty and pretends like shes going to fight me or says
shell kick my ass, I say, Look, I havent hit a women in almost six months, dont break the
streak. You really need to say this with a smile on your face so she knows youre kidding,
btw.
I also pull out the, Youre so cute when you do that, I want to adopt you as my little sister,
every now and then, depending on the girl.
Finally, once in a blue moon, I pull out Styles 5 Questions game, which to this day I dont
think a single girl has won. I usually only use this routine if I know the girl is into me, but
Im seriously stalling out for some reason. It rarely fails me.
So right there, I have 2-3 stock lines for common topics of conversation, I have 2-3 stock
routine teases, and then I have whatever teases I improvise in the middle of the set. That
right there is more than enough to have in your arsenal.
Typically, most girls you only have to tease 2-4 times before you have enough attraction
(depends on how well you tease and their personality), other girls may require a few more.
One of the biggest problems I see in guys is they tease WAY TOO MUCH. Theyll tease and
banter and tease and banter like 15 minutes into the set, and now theyve gone from the
random guy approaching to the hot guy with attitude to the dancing monkey whos getting a
little played out.
Heres an example of a typical set where I would need to tease a few times to move on:
Me: Hey, whats up? Im Mark. I wanted to come meet you. (Direct Opener)
Her: Hi. Im Betty Boop.
Me: Cool. You dont come across like most of the girls here. You dont seem as superficial
as most girls you meet in clubs. (Cold Read Transition)
Her: Hah, well thanks. I dont usually come to places like this. Its my friends birthday
tonight.
Me: Cool. How do you know the birthday girl? (Testing for Logistics more in part 6)
Her: We went to college together, we dont get to see each other that often anymore.
Me: I see. Did you guys go to school around here? You dont seem like youre from around
here. (Cold Read)
Her: Yeah, we did. But Im from Illinois. How did you know?
Me: Youre not an asshole. Haha.
Her: What about you? Where are you from?
Me: Im from Texas originally.
Her: Texas? Why did you come up here?
Me: Uhh to get the hell out of Texas! (Tease 1)
Her: *laughs*
Me: But Im from Austin, its kind of like an oasis of free-thought and liberalism in the
middle of the Bible Belt. (comfort story)
Her: Really? Ive never been.
Me: Well, youre missing out Betty. Get your shit together. (Tease 2)
Her: Ill get right on it.
Me: Thats the spirit. So what do you like to do when youre not talking to Texans in Boston
bars?
Her: Oh, I dont know.
Me: You dont know? What do you mean you dont know? You have to like something.
Her: Im a bit of a homebody.
Me: So?
Her: So I dont get out much.
Me: Yeah, but you must do something at home.
Her: I guess I like to read.
Me: Sorry, I dont talk to girls who read. I prefer my women illiterate. (Tease 3)
Her: *laughs*
Me: Im Texan, remember? (Tease 4)
Her: *laughs*Me: Actually, I read a lot too.
Her: Really?
Me: (Comfort story about reading.)
And that would be 90% of the teasing I would need for that set. By that point, shed be
attracted, and I could just build comfort and escalate from there.
Ill be back next time to talk about calibration, knowing when to tease and banter, and
knowing when to just stick to comfort stories. Part 5 will cover escalation. And finally, Part 6
will cover figuring out logistics. Then that should cover it.
and build attraction. But theres still a CRUCIALLY important concept that I need to go
over: and thats calibration.
Calibration is absolutely fundamental and for a simple reason as well: not every girl is the
same. Some women like to be teased, some dont. Some are looking for a guy, some arent.
Some are going to like you immediately, some arent. As my friend Smallville once said,
The only rule is calibration, everything else is just a recommendation.
With that said, before we jump into this, its very important that youre familiar with my
concepts of passive/active attraction and how they work. You can read the brief overview on
the concepts here: http://www.entropypua.com/blog/personalizing-pickup-naturaladvantagesdisadvantages
The two main things to remember going forward: 1) that attraction is based on value and 2)
every womans perception of value (what they find attractive) is different.
For instance, what you consider an HB10 could have terrible self-esteem or be unaware of
her own value, whereas she may find you naturally her type. But you, thinking, Shes an
HB10, I have to tease her hard, will overvalue yourself and get blown out.
This is why calibration is so important. Theres no single thing you can do that works in
every interaction.
Also, sometimes you run into girls who are HB6s or HB7s who THINK that theyre hot shit
and when you approach think to themselves, great, another jackass trying to get laid. In
your mind, shes just an HB6, so you dont really try to game her, but she actually perceives
herself to be of much higher value so she blows you off.
This is why HB10s are often some of the nicest girls and HB6s can be the meanest.
The laws of passive and active attraction say that you want just enough attraction so that she
perceives your value to be equal or above hers.
A lot of times guys dont realize their own passive value and so theyll immediately be higher
value than a girl as soon as they talk to her and mistakenly try to create active attraction. This
is the biggest and one of the most common mistakes a guy can make.
So how do we know where we are in regards to her? Whats her perception of us?
I have a simple process that I apply when Im in set: Once I hook the set, Ill throw out a very
light tease to the girl and see how she responds.
- If she laughs and responds positively, it means my value is equal or slightly higher to hers
and Ill keep teasing until I stop getting a positive reaction.
- If she responds negatively and seems offended, it means Im OVERVALUED and I stop. I
will compliment her, state my interest or DLV myself (buy her a drink) to bring myself closer
to her. This is to make me attainable in her eyes. Youll have to do this often with shy or
reserved girls.
- If she responds negatively and is cold and bored, it means Im extremely undervalued and I
need to tease her even harder. Girls who react this way, youre not even on their radar screen
yet, so you have to say something really bold and outlandish to wake them up to you.
- If she shit-tests me back in a playful way, it means she values herself slightly more than me,
in which I keep teasing until I get a negative response.
Once I know where my value is relative to hers, I follow this blueprint:
- If Im OVERVALUED, I will compliment her, state my interest in her and even DLV
myself.
- If Im UNDERVALUED, I tease and neg her harder until I get a more positive reaction or
she blows me out.
- If Im around her value, I keep teasing at the same level and being escalating.
After a while, this will all become second nature to you.
The last comment Ill make is that sometimes you run into girls who will get into frame
battles with you i.e., you tease them, they tease you back, you tease them more, they tease
you back more, and you never are able to actually get anywhere. These girls like you, you
just have to go SUPER AGGRESSIVE on them. A lot of times, theyll reject your advances
for no other reason than to tease you again, but just keep plowing. They like you, theyre just
really sassy.
Calibration is mostly developed through doing hundreds and even thousands of sets. After
enough time you begin to just pick up which girls naturally like you a lot, which girls seem
lonely, which ones seem happy that youre opening them, etc.
After enough time, you begin to get really good at reading social cues as well, all of the little
IOIs or IODs she may give you. Calibration is something you have to constantly work on.
Your game is only as good as your calibration. You can know every awesome technique and
line in the world, but if you dont know when to use them, you wont get anywhere.
In the next installment, Ill provide a few examples of each of these calibrations in action.
yet, so you have to say something really bold and outlandish to wake them up to you.
- If she shit-tests me back in a playful way, it means she values herself slightly more than me,
in which I keep teasing until I get a negative response.
Once I know where my value is relative to hers, I follow this blueprint:
- If Im OVERVALUED, I will compliment her, state my interest in her and even DLV
myself.
- If Im UNDERVALUED, I tease and neg her harder until I get a more positive reaction or
she blows me out.
- If Im around her value, I keep teasing at the same level and being escalating.
After a while, this will all become second nature to you.
Situation 1: Responds positively, keep teasing until she stops responding positively
Me: (Arbitrary opener)
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: You dont look like a Boston girl.
Her: Nope, born and raised in Boston. But Im half Irish, half French.Me: How the hell does
that work?
Her: Haha, I dont know. Its quite a mix.
Me: Does that mean you get drunk and start fights and then immediately give up?
Her: *laughing hysterically* OMG!
Me: Im afraid to drink with you, I dont know what will come out, your inner asshole or
your inner wuss.
Her: Hahaha neither! Im a nice drunk.
Me: Thats cool, me too. Im the type of drunk. blah, blah, blah, comfort story.
(Few minutes, few teases later)
Me: Look, we obviously have communication problems, this will never work.
Her: Aww, no I was listening, the music was just too loud.
Me: I was just saying blah, blah, blah. Throw in a compliment here.
This is your classic PUA situation. The idea that youre coming in slightly below her value,
you need to tease/neg/banter to raise your value relative to hers and then you qualify
her/compliment her as you move into more comfort.
Basically, I just throw teases between my comfort stories until she gets a bit defensive. This
means that shes feeling a bit self-conscious around me and is now pretty invested in the
interaction and my opinion. I want to SUPPORT this by complimenting her and validating
her. Keep in mind, I will bring teases back every now and again to keep things fresh, but not
nearly with the same frequency.
Situation 2: She responds negatively and seems offended
Me: (Arbitrary opener)
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: You dont look like a Boston girl.
Her: Nope, born and raised in Boston. But Im half Irish, half French.
Me: How the hell does that work?
Her: What do you mean? (looks offended)
Me: Thats just a really unique combination. Its cool though. Did your parents grow up in
America or overseas?
In this situation, as soon as she seems offended, I take that as a cue that Im overvalued and I
need to be nice to her and even chodey to make myself more attainable to her. This is a girl
who for whatever reason thinks she doesnt have a shot with a guy like me, so I need to make
it as easy as possible.
Also, Id like to note that theres a minority of girls out there who just really dont like to be
teased at all, by anyone. Theyre rare, but they do exist. When you come across them, you
may have to continue to build attraction but just not by teasing.
Situation 3: She acts bored or indifferent.
Me: (Arbitrary opener)
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: You dont look like a Boston girl.
Her: No, I am.
Me: Thats cool. Im actually from Texas originally.
Her: Oh.
Me: You seem like the serious type, like your friends have to drag you out here to make you
have fun.
Her: Not really. I mean, I guess, I do work a lot.
Me: All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl.
Her: Yeah, I guess.
Me: You ever run after someone with an ax?
Her: What?!
Me: You ever try to kill someone with an ax.
Her: Haha, no. What the hell?
Me: All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl. Havent you seen The Shining?
Her: No, I havent.
Me: Jesus, you DO work too much. Get out a little.
Her: Haha I havent really watched many movies lately.
Me: Its a classic. Stanley Kubrick. Made in the 70
s. Youre missing out. What kind of
movies do you typically watch? (Qualify)
Her: (Answers)
Me: Thats cool, (comfort story)
Situation 4: Positive Response, she banters back
Me: (Arbitrary opener)
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: You dont look like a Boston girl.
Her: Fuck yeah I am. You obviously thought wrong.
Me: Well, you sure as hell act like a Boston girl.
Her: Hows that?
Me: Youre an asshole yet charming.
Her: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Me: (banter)
Her: (banter)
Me: (banter)
Her: (banter
Me: Look, this obviously isnt working out, you know what? Were broken up. I cant do this
anymore.
Her: Good! You sucked in bed anyway.
Me: How would you know? You were too drunk to feel what I was doing.
Her: Hahaha
Me: You know what, Im going to give you another chance. Tell me something about
yourself.
Her: What? I dont know. What do you want to know?
Me: I think youre a cool girl, I want to actually get to know you.
Her: Sorry, you had your chance, were broken up.
Me: Yeah, yeah, but really, what are you most passionate about?
Her: (more evasion)
Me: (more direct interest)
Girls like this give newer guys the most trouble. Newer guys either cant keep up with their
wits or they get caught in the cycle of constant banter with them, which leads no where. The
way to break out of this cycle with these girls is by stating direct interest repeatedly. But there
are two caveats to this: 1) you have to prove that you can keep up with them banter/teasingwise first. These types of girls dont settle for pushovers or pussies. They want real men who
will put them in their place, thats why they cause so much trouble. And 2) shes going to
reject you at first and try to keep bantering with you. Again, you have to be unphased and
continue to show interest.
These types of girls can be the most fun as well as the most frustrating. When you finally do
get through to them, they can also be the most passionate and intense girls to date. They can
also be a huge pain and the ass and absolutely psycho. Tread with caution.
Well congratulations, if youre going for same night lays, thats about 50% of the battle.
(If you dont care about same night lays, thats aout 80% of it, the rest is follow-up/phone
game.)
Logistics is the other half. And if you arent prepared for it, logistics will FUCK YOU UP!
Check for good logistics EARLY: There are a handful of questions that you need to take care
of pretty early in the set. Find out how your girl knows whoever shes with. Find out their
relationships (if shes got family members with her, chances go way down). Find out where
she lives and how she got there. Mentally note this and compare it to where you live and how
you got there relative to the venue. It IS possible to get a girl to drive you to her place (or
yours), but its not as likely. Basically, the ideal situation is for her to be out with a mixed
group of people, not all of which shes friends with and she lives close to you and/or the
venue (or you live close to her and/or the venue). The worst-case-scenario is its her sisters
bachelorette party, her mom and two sisters are there, she lives in another city and engaged.
You get the idea.
These questions (i.e., How do you know your friends? Where do you live? etc.) should
be thrown out early but sporadically. Its pretty easy to work them into your comfort game.
Just ask, get a quick answer and keep moving on. You should have a pretty clear idea of the
girls logistical situation within 10 minutes of talking to her. If youve got her isolated and
have even made out with her, then you have NO excuse to find out everything you need to
know about her logistical situation.
You MUST win over the friends: This is actually usually easier than it sounds. But its true.
All it takes is one bitchy friend to ruin your entire nights party plans (you know, the party in
your pants). When I say, win them over, you dont necessarily have to be the coolest guy
on the planet when you talk to them (although that never hurts). They basically have to just
get a good impression of you like you enough to give the implicit OK. Typically, this is
more of a matter of not fucking yourself up rather than actually winning anyone over. Guys
are the easiest as well. All you have to do is be respectful to them, shake their hand,
acknowledge them and theyre happy. If the guy is an orbiter, then she probably doesnt
respect his opinion anyway, so whatever.
If in the off-chance you do get a friend whos being really bitchy, then you may need to
engage her one on one and win her over. Just run straight up comfort game on them. Let them
know that youre a really nice guy and find out some about them. Tell them that you like their
friend and tell them why. Be genuine and youll usually be set.
Plan an escape route: OK, so your girl is all over your shit. Her friends are cool with you.
And her logistics are decent. Its time to come up with an escape plan. Unfortunately, theres
no definite formula for this it always changes based on the situation. Ideally, bringing her
to your place if you have a car is ideal. But sometimes, she lives far away, or you live far
away or she has a car too or you dont have a car, etc. My only advice here is to do what is
most practical take the path with least resistance.
Having an excuse to bring her over helps sometimes as well, although I think guys overplay
its usefulness. Its really useful her friends are coming to and your wingmen is as well, the
so-called afterparty excuse if you will. But typically, for one on one, she knows whats up,
so just saying something generic like, I need to show you my fish, or whatever the hell you
have back home is excuse enough.
Number closing: If for whatever reason she has really bad logistics, her friend is
cockblocking you or she has to go home or something, just go for the number close. The
sooner you can figure this out, the better because you can move on to more sets. Another
strategy thats good to use is to build up 3-4 sets of girls, get them all interested, then try and
pull the one with best logistics and take the numbers of the other ones.
Expect the unexpected: As I wrote in my post about logistics a few months ago, the number
one rule of logistics is that theyre RANDOM. Shit happens. CRAZY shit happens actually,
and 90% of the time its completely out of your control. Everything from your girl puking in
the cab to someone getting shot in the club to her ex-boyfriend following you to her place,
crazy shit happens in night game, so its best to remember to be flexible and go with things.
At the end of the day, as with game in general, night game is a numbers game, and some
times you just get very unlucky.
I will note though that the more attracted a girl is to you and the more connected she feels to
you, the less and less logistical problems matter. Ive had girls blow off their friends, buy me
shots and pay for cabs because they were so into me. So I suppose the best way to beat
logistics is to never have to worry about them.
The Day Game Model The Guide to Picking Up Women During the
Day
Day Game Model Part 1
This is going to be part one in series of day game posts that I have no idea how many articles
itll end up being. Im going to talk about specific locations in future articles and may bring
back some posts like the one I wrote on personal space or day game in a grocery store No
Salmon required.
I want to focus on my day game model with this first article because its the cornerstone of all
of my day time interactions. When was learning day game and going out basically seven days
a week to practice I kept a journal and everyday after I was done I would write down as much
as I could remember about my interactions. Ive talked about journals before, I think
everyone should keep one because unlike field reports youre just writing it for yourself and
you can put your ego aside and talk about every interaction, good, or bad.
Captain Jack realized Strawberry Fields is a great routine for same night lays because he kept
a journal. He basically looked at all the interactions with girls that he picked up and fucked
that night and saw that in each one he was using Strawberry Fields.
My experience was similar. I looked back at all of my day game interactions that ended with
a number that didnt flake and looked for commonalties between them. I found that basically
all of my successful interactions we when I opened direct, transitioned with a cold read, and
then cycled qualification and comfort a few times.
I turned it into a system and model and gave it to a few friends to field test and they started
having successful day game sets. Then I taught it to a few students and they started getting
numbers, going on dates, and even laying the girls. I realized I had stumbled onto something.
Ive finally decided to write it up for my blog. Ive taught it to enough guys of all different
ages and backgrounds to know that it can basically work for anyone. Like everything in the
community this is a framework and guideline, its not absolute. Bend the rules and
personalize this, everyones style is a little different and no interaction with another person
can be fully broken down into some model.
The Opener
Like every pickup you have to start with an opener. I really like direct during the day and my
model is based around it. People have legitimate time constraints during the day and most of
the time people just dont have the time to talk to you for 20 minutes. Direct cuts though all
the attraction stuff in one sentence and gives you more time to build comfort and qualify the
girl.
Direct works off the girls first impression of you. So the better your nonverbals are, body
language, eye contact, vocal tonality, and delivery, the better its going to go. Youre also
going to want to be dressed well, be well groomed, and if youre in good shape or good
looking its also going to help you However Im 56
, weigh 13 0lbs, and look like Im
17 Im obviously not relying on my looks to get by.
Direct is high risk, high reward. If a girl for one reason or another decides shes not interested
in you the set is basically over. No plowing, no negging, leave politely and go open another
set.
Im not going to go into the nuisances of direct game but Sinn sent out a really great email
about direct and the mechanisms that drive it last week. I suggest you guys check it out if you
want a complete guide to direct game for both day and night.
The specific opener that I use is just a standard direct opener
Excuse me, I know this is crazy and whatever but I thought you were cute and I wanted to
meet you. Im Doc
Its quick, its polite, and its flattering. The I know this is kinda crazy/random part is
actually pretty important. It basically says that you dont do this everyday and acknowledges
that this is a somewhat strange situation.
There are three main responses youll get to this
1. Shell be a little flattered, a little confused, and a little taken aback. Shell basically say to
you ummmm ok? Im GIRL. This is the most common reaction youll get
2. Boyfriend objection. This is the hardest blowout you should ever get. Either she actually
has a boyfriend or shes being polite and asking you to go away. I usually just say Hes a
lucky guy. It was nice meeting you. I wrote a whole post about this a few months back
which you can find here.
3. Shell be very flattered and happy. Shell ask you a lot of questions and basically if you
dont fuck up itll end well.
The Transition
Youve opened her! But now what?
I like to follow up my opener with a cold read.
Cold reading for all intents and purposes is just guessing something about someone or telling
them a truism about themselves. You can use them by making a statement but is actually just
a fancy way of asking them a question.
The question How do you like to be fucked? Becomes I bet you like to be bent over,
fucked doggy, and probably slapped around a bit.
An example of telling someone a truism about themselves is You know you seem really
reserved and shy but I bet when youre around someone you trust you have this total wild
side. Thats basically true about anyone, everyone has multiple sides to their personality.
They also can act as qualification questions and they test for compliance. In the cold read I
use during the day You know, you have like this west coast vibe. She can respond with
No, Im from Philly. or she can say No, Im actually from Philly but Im here for nursing
school at Boston University.
She shows me more interest with the second response. Shes actively trying to create rapport
by sharing more about herself.
Just to clarify it the cold read I follow up my direct opener with is You know, you totally
have this west coast vibe. Obviously if youre from the west coast use east coast vibe or
New York vibe.
El Topo has written a lot about cold reading on blog, especially sexual cold reading. Check it
out if you want to know more.
Im going to follow up this post tomorrow with the rest of my model.
Every now and then youll get thrown a curve ball like Im from Wisconsin. Well Ive
never been there and dont know anyone from there so Ill say something like, Really? I
think youre the first person Ive ever met from Wisconsin.
Youre not trying to do anything fancy here. Youre just trying to establish some rapport and
get her used to talking to you.
Entropy and I really believe that guys need to learn basic conversation skills before trying to
learn to pick up girls. Entropy covers this topic very thoroughly in his ebook.
Qualification Question
Although I said that your cold read will at times act as qualification, most of the time youll
need to find out more about the girl. And like I said in the beginning of part one, all I do in
day game is cycle qualification and comfort a few times.
A whole book could be written on qualification, and probably has, but Im just going to give
you guys the basics.
A qualification question/statement is a question that you ask to elicit a response from a
woman thatll tell you something about them. You then reward her response to your question
by qualifying her on it.
The qualification question that I usually use at this point in the interaction is So what do you
do when youre not ____.
The ____ is what she was doing before you opened her. So if you meet her in a bookstore
its So what do you do when youre not shopping for books? The funniest example of this I
ever had was when I opened a girl in the addiction and recovery section of a bookstore. I was
like So what do you do when youre not and as I trailed off she looked up, saw what
section she was in, and took about 5 steps back so that she was in the self help section. We
both laughed about it.
Sometimes the girl will give you a kinda blow off answer like I work or I hangout with
friends. If they do this I like to tease them a little by saying something like Wow! You have
friends too! This is so amazing. Its really all about the tonality of how you say it. You dont
want to sound like a dick, you should be smiling and she should be able to detect your
sarcasm.
If she tells you anything like I just finished med school and Im doing my residency right
now. You should reward her with something like Wow thats great! I think its awesome
when people have jobs that help others. Have you always wanted to be a doctor?
If you notice at the end I ask another question to make our interaction even deeper and find
out more about her. Another great technique is to relate some part of your life to what she
does. With the girl who wants to be a doctor I could talk about how my brother is a doctor
and tell a random story about me and him growing up.
Grounding Story
Up until this point in the interaction the majority of what has been talked about is her and her
life with little stories about you thrown in here and there. This is the point where you really
share yourself with her.
Basically your grounding story is a story about you that both builds comfort and attraction at
the same time. For day game I like to have the story focus on what you do and WHY you do
it.
Heres an example what I usually say
Yeah, like, for, me I work in film. And its really cool because like always growing up I was
just fascinated with movies. As a little kid Id literally just sit in front of the TV and watch
the same movies over and over again. Just looking at the different cuts and camera angles
Yeah Im totally a movie nerd. So fair warning.
The most important part of the story is that I love what Im doing with my life. Im doing
what Im passionate about.
Now not everyone love what they do for a living but everyone should have a hobby that they
love. If this is the case use your hobby.
Yeah, like, for, me I work as an accountant. And its cool and whatever. But I really love
playing basketball. My mom said that basically as soon as I could walk Id try to play
basketball with my older brother and his friends. And its really cool, now because I coach
some kids on the weekends.
I actually like that story more than mine.
Theres not much too it but be prepared for women to ask you questions about the stuff you
just mentioned.
More Qualification*
Outside of the number close this is the last step and about half of the time you wont even
need it. Hence the *
I usually only add this last bit of qualification if the girl didnt give me much with the cold
read and my other qualification question.
The great thing is that now that youve opened up to her with youre grounding story shes
much more likely to share herself with you. Ill usually phrase this step like this
So yeah, obviously you hang with friends or whatever but like seriously what do you like to
do?
And it works the same way as the first qualification question. Shell answer, you reward her
for it, and follow it up with another question about what she does or relate it to your life.
Number Close
I first heard this number close from Sinn. Its simple, it leads, and its not too forward. Its the
best number close Ive ever tried and Ive stopped using anything else.
Well I gotta go meet some friends but you seem really cool. Lets exchange numbers and
maybe well grab coffee or something.
If she says no, it means no. Dont try to plow or anything unless you enjoy flaky numbers.
And thats it.
The entire interaction should last anywhere from 5 15 minutes and the numbers you get
should be fairly solid.
Im going to post an interaction that follows the model tomorrow so you guys can see how
the conversation flows.
PUA: Just like your style and the way you carry yourself. You dont seem like youre from
here.
Girl: Yeah I just moved here for school.
PUA: Oh awesome. Where are you from?
Girl: I grew up in New Jersey.
PUA: Well Im sorry to hear that
Girl: Hey! New Jersey isnt bad.
PUA: Yeah, My New Haircut just gives you guys a bad rep. What kind of art do you make?
(She had black shit on hands from a grease pencil)
Girl: I mostly paint but how did you know that?
PUA: The grease pencil on your hands. I used to draw a lot.
Girl: Yeah, Im at Mass Art and since its my first year I have to sort of try everything. Are
you in school?
PUA: No. I work for a filmmaker.
Girl: Oh, wow, thats awesome. What do you like do for him?
PUA: Mostly post production stuff. Its actually really kinda like a dream job because Ive
just always loved movies so much. Like when I was a kid Id draw pictures and tape them to
my TV and make my mom and her girlfriend watch my movies.
Girl: Thats cool.
PUA: Yeah. Have you always been into art?
Girl: Pretty much, for as long as I can remember I was painting anywhere I could.
PUA: Thats awesome
Girl: Yeah
PUA: You know I actually gotta meet some friends soon but you seem cool. we should
exchange numbers and if we like each other on the phone maybe well hangout sometime.
Girl: Sure.
If you look at the flow of the conversation it looks like just a friendly normal conversation
but if you really pay attention to it you can see how its basically just cycles of qualification
and comfort.
Ill be posting another day game article in a few days.
If theyre walking in the same direction as you its common sense that you can just start a
conversation as you walk because youre walking the same way.
A lot of the time the women have a legitimate time constraint. I always like to just go for the
number close right away even if Ive only talked to her for 30 seconds, its not the most
effective method but if shes in a rush then shes in a rush and you can say you gave it your
best shot. If she isnt pressed for time than I like to go for the instant date by around the five
minute mark. A lot of the time Ill call attention to how awkward it is standing in the middle
of the street and try to bounce for coffee.
Overall moving sets are probably the hardest sets to open during the day and I tell guys to get
decent with stationary sets in bookstores and coffee shops before trying to do moving sets.
Without going into all of the evolutionary and psychological reasoning behind this, take my
word for it, you name something that a woman finds attractive in a man, and its some sort of
value being offered to her.
So how do you add value to a womans life? It can be anything from being well-dressed,
good looking and having money, to having a great sense of humor, being kind, strong and
confident to teasing her and showing her experiences shes never had before.
But here are a couple key principles to keep in mind:
* Stand out from the crowd. If you look like every other guy she sees all day, shes not going
to perceive you to be offering much that other guys arent. This doesnt mean dress like a
clown, but develop your sense of style and express your personality more freely.
* Develop your sense of humor. If youre not naturally witty or funny, take some improv
classes and comedy classes. Everyone can develop a sense of humor. If you are funny, start
using it but not on yourself. Nothing screams low-value like self-depreciating humor
(unless youre Woody Allen, of course).
* Be happy and positive. Positive people who are happy with their lives and situation natural
magnetize other people towards them, men and women. This is especially important with
women because theyre very empathic and if youre negative and depressed, theyll feel
negative and depressed around you, not wanting to hang out with you.
* Have a lot of friends. Go out and create a large social circle. Not only are very social people
generally more happy with their lives, but they demonstrate greater value to any women who
may meet you. Not to mention that the more friends you have, the more women youll be
able to meet through them.But these principles are by no means everything. In fact, they
really scratch the surface. We give in-depth explanations about attraction and value at our
seminars. Theyll change the way you perceive women and social dynamics, guaranteed.
classic sales tool to create instant rapport with whomever youre talking to. Not only that, but
smiling shows people that youre HAPPY. Being happy is pretty damn attractive.
3. Being a Connector A connector is someone who has many friends and is usually
hanging around multiple people. In general, women are far more concerned with what their
peers think. When it comes to men, theyre VERY curious as to what others think about you.
If they see you around a bunch of people who like you, it speaks a lot to them
subconsciously. Not only that, but being able to know a lot of people and introduce them to
each other creates a lot of social value as well as makes you more of a fun person.
4. Walk Slowly This is a common nervous tick in men: they practically sprint everywhere
theyre going. Its a sign of being anxious, nervous or way too busy for your own good.
Think of guys like James Dean or Fonze. They hardly even walk, they meander. When you
walk slowly, youre sub-communicating, Hey, theyll wait for me because the party arrives
with me.
5. Speak Loudly Studies have shown that more is communicated in HOW you speak rather
than WHAT you speak. A deep, billowing voice communicates authority, confidence, and
being self-assured. Speak from your belly, in your stomach, speak loudly, and speak clearly.
Practice in your car over loud music if you have to.
6. Stand Tall Stand in front of a mirror and make sure youre not slumping or leaning down.
Poor posture is incredibly unattractive and very easy to fix. You dont have to be super rigid
like you just got out of the Marine Corps (although thats better than the alternative), but
make your presence known take up some space.
7. Dont Ask Permission Theres an old saying, Ask for forgiveness, not permission. The
idea is, its better to do something and get rejected than to give someone else the power to
choose for you. This is ALWAYS true with women. Apply this principle to kissing, dates,
sex, calling, and the implications are HUGE.
8. Be the First to End Things Be the first to end a conversation. Be the first to end a phone
call. Be the first to stop text messaging. Be the first to end the date. Be the first to end the
relationship. Always be the one with something else going on.
9. Wear Nice Shoes I dont get it. You probably dont get it. But womens obsession over
shoes carries over to men as well. Do a little research online or in magazines and get a couple
nice pairs of shoes, casual and business, brown and black. Oh, and NEVER wear white socks.
10. Love Yourself No, I dont mean in THAT way. But find and appreciate whats truly
great about yourself. Forgive yourself for your own shortcomings. If you cant find a way to
love and appreciate yourself, no woman ever will.
These are by no means the ONLY ten things that attract women. In fact, we delve much
deeper into dozens more in Practical Pickup and explain not only WHAT attracts women but
the reasons and psychology behind it.
But reading and understanding all this can only take you so far. Nothing will change if you
dont take action and adapt these traits for yourself.
DO meet the staff Clubs are expensive and crowded. Theyre designed to make themselves
overcrowded and create lines everywhere to give people the impression of high demand and
exclusivity. Get to know the bouncers, bartenders, promoters and managers. Show up early
for a few nights (many clubs dont even start charging until 11) and shoot the shit with the
staff there. If you get on the bouncers good side, theyll let you in for free and no line. If you
get on the bartenders good side hell give you free drinks and/or serve you first. Promoters
will introduce you to tons of people and hook you up, as will the manager.
In clubs, its often about WHO you know, not exactly WHAT you know. Women in clubs
judge you by who youre hanging out with more than women at any other venue, so you want
to make sure you run with cool company.
On Improvement
The Dating Solution The Six Basic Steps
Im coming up on my one-year coaching anniversary. Back then I hardly charged money and
would sometimes coach in return for personal favors (not THOSE kinds of personal favors).
Its been a fun ride, with a lot of ups and downs. Any longtime readers will know my
evolution as a PUA the last year has had some twists and turns.
Part of that evolution was that starting last winter, I went on a PUA material binge. Although
I have been in the community and sarging consistently for three years, I never read a whole
lot of material when I started out.
But when I began coaching, my interest in it piqued. I wanted to learn as much as possible in
order to teach as efficiently as possible.
You could say I was chasing the unifying theory of pickup. I literally watched and read
EVERYTHING by every company I could get my hands on. I wrote vociferously and posted
regularly on half a dozen boards. Looking back, I dont know how I had so much time.
The point is, I was neck-deep in theory.
As I began to apply all of this knowledge and my in-field experience with a wide variety of
students every week, my understanding of picking up women began to crystallize.
Ill put it bluntly: We make shit REALLY complicated for ourselves.
I mean, the fact that you can go on boards and find 10-page diatribes on disarming other
men who are talking to a girl or five-minute explanations on how to leave a 10-second
voicemail is a bit over-the-top. This community, in general, suffers dearly from chronic
mental masturbation.
I believe getting really good with women boils down to only SIX skills.
You may be thinking, What about Reticular Activation Systems, and the difference between
medium and large qualification hoops? What about the DHV routine stacks I wrote out and
practiced in front of the mirror?
Dude six skills, and you will be set. Its just a matter of singling out, focusing and
practicing the skills you need to work on.
When I first explain this, it always seems a bit TOO simple. I know when I teach my students
this stuff out in field, their first reaction is actually disappointment because they think, God,
I was working on all of this stuff for months and now youre saying it didnt even matter? A
few sets later, that disappointment usually changes to excitement.
Some guys come into the community already proficient at four of the six. And instead of
working on the other two, they use material that completely messes up the skills theyre
already good at. Thats what I want to put a stop to.
I have to warn you guys first though, youre going to read this and your first reaction will
probably be: Thats it?
This is expected. As a community, weve been inundated with copious amounts of theory and
unnecessary thinking. Any guy who is experienced and successful in the community can tell
you that he ends up only using a small percentage of ANYTHING he reads in the
community.
That being said, these are the FUNDAMENTALS. You cannot succeed without them; and
they are all you need for success with women. Unless you want cold approach threesomes
and to be able to steal runway models away from VIP areas, you probably wont need to
know much more than these fundamental skills.
Finally, Ill add that these six skills are placed in a special and sequential order. They each
build upon the one coming before it. Earlier skills arent NECESSARY to move on to later
ones, but they are more fundamental, meaning that skill one will improve skills 2-6, whereas
skill six will have little effect on skill one.
OK, enough cockteasing lets get started.
1. Skill #1: Creating and Maintaining an Attractive Lifestyle Ill put this bluntly. If your
life sucks, it doesnt matter how much game you have, girls are not going to be interested
and/or stick around. If you can open 100 sets a day, but youre broke, homeless, unkept and
unhappy, youre going to end up with 100 blowouts a day.
What are the components to a good lifestyle? I break them down into these categories:
Health, Professional Happiness (notice I dont say stability), Hobbies, Social Circles,
Style/Grooming, and Body Language.
Its true that guys who live baller lifestyles will naturally find girls hitting on them every so
often, even guys with no game. I cant tell you how many students Ive taken out who get
eye-fucked and interest from girls left and right and theyre just clueless to it. Its because
these guys to reference Swingers ARE FUCKING MONEY, and they just dont
realize it.
The biggest mistake any guy can make is to GIVE UP THEIR LIFESTYLE to hit on girls. I
know guys who quit hobbies, ditch friends and underperform at their jobs for the sake of
going out and opening more girls. Youre shooting yourself in the foot here failing
before you even begin.
I would say, in general, most guys come to the community and already have pretty strong
lifestyles. They have good jobs, interests (nerdy interests are completely valid), and friends.
They just dont know how to create and/or capitalize on opportunities.
Skill #2: Approaching Approachings SOLE PURPOSE is for the sake of creating
opportunities.
Theres probably more literature on opening in the PUA community than all of the other
skills combined. The only reason is because approaching is the first issue guys run into, so
its easiest to sell material on it i.e., its the easiest to market and therefore the easiest to
make a quick buck.
In truth, approaching is daunting as shit when you start out, but its actually the easiest skill
to learn. Its really just a matter of getting over the social anxiety of talking to strangers. Once
youre able to do that, getting a simple and pleasant response 90% of the time is no big feat.
Approaching is an art, not a science. You can read pages and pages on body positioning,
energy levels, opening routines, etc., etc., but a calm, confident, Hi, Im X, followed by a
handshake will almost never fail. Ever.
Again, what guys get hung up on is their social anxiety (I refuse to call it approach anxiety
because its a silly concept) of talking to strangers. They experience a lot of anxiety, so they
assume that it must be a much more complicated process and skill than it really is. They
digest hundreds of pages of theory on approaching hoping to allay their fears and nervousness
about approaching. The truth is, nothing kills the anxiety other than JUST DOING IT.
I tell my students, What you say first isnt that important, whats important is what you say
SECOND. Which brings us to
Skill #3: Conversation Skills I feel like the biggest tragedy in the PUA community is that
guys who dont possess basic and fundamental social skills start by immediately trying to flirt
and run attraction game.
You cant run before you can walk, and as we say in Texas, you cant put the horse before the
wagon. If you are incapable of holding a pleasant and normal conversation with a stranger for
more than five minutes, then how the fuck are you going to make them attracted to you?
Changing what you say around isnt going to do dick, its just going to make things more
weird and more awkward.
Its paramount that before guys try to become pimps and players that they know how to
carry on a functioning conversation with a hot girl without freaking the fuck out
stammering, stuttering and yammering all over the place about stupid shit.
Learn how to avoid awkward silences, learn how to get her to open up talk about herself,
learn how to make her laugh. Guys freak out about getting put in the friend zone, but if a
guy has never even had a female friend before, maybe having a few female friends is the best
thing that could happen to him.
Its once youve learned how to comfortably build rapport and get a girl invested into the
interaction that you can begin breaking that rapport and flirting that is, building attraction.
Skill #4: Flirting The mountains and mountains of PUA attraction theory, the first three
phases of the M3 model, the crux of Pickup 101
s bantering and D YDs C+F are all really
fancy and complicated terms for flirting.
None of these gurus invented crap. They just took what men and women have been doing for
centuries and put a name on it.
Flirting can be broken down into quite a simple formula. In fact, I challenge any reader to
find attraction material that DOES NOT fall into this formula. Anyone who does gets a free
phone consult from me (so I can put you in your place err, I mean).
Flirting and gaining attraction is simply a process of breaking rapport with a girl in a fun or
acceptable way. Neg? Breaking rapport through a backhanded compliment. Cocky and
Funny? Breaking rapport with humor. Bantering? Same.
Some guys interject with What about DHVs? here. DHVs are simply sharing yourself in a
positive frame. So, in my opinion, they fall under skill #3.
The formula for flirting follows this progression: establish rapport, break rapport, girl
qualifies and/or complies, re-establish rapport.
I dare you to find attraction material that isnt following this basic formula.
The easiest way to flirt is to tease. All you need to tease well is a good sense of humor.
Teasing breaks rapport with the girl while making her laugh. It creates a mixture of emotions:
she feels good because shes laughing, but she feels bad because you cut her down a bit. This
mixture of emotions is literally what creates sexual tension its emotional dissonance and
something women fucking thrive on.
Another way to flirt or create sexual tension is by leading aggressively. Breaking rapport by
leading and gaining compliance requires little more than balls and some calibration. Cute girl
at the bar seems into you? Grab her hand and say, Come on, were dancing. Lead
effectively. She may have not been THAT into you at the bar. But suddenly shes dancing
with you and before she knows it shes thinking, Wait, this guy is kind of hot!
Skill #5: Logistics and Follow-Up This is managing all of the odds and ends when it
comes to closing girls. This is learning how to deal with her friends well, how do prevent
flakes, leaving good text messages and voicemails and most importantly, mastering days.2
Logistics and follow-up, although requiring a lot of minor skills and attention to detail (make
sure you have a ride home, make sure you have condoms, etc.), it really hinges on you being
relaxed and in control of the interaction. If you freak out over minor alterations in plans or
unexpected factors, you will fail miserably at logistics.
Logistics and follow-up also require a lot of aggression. The more aggressive you are in
pushing the interaction forward, the less time there will be for logistical interruptions and the
more tenacious you will be in your follow up game.
Finally, doing well on day 2s requires all of the above skills as well as skil l #3 what the
community adoringly refers to as building comfort or Mystery once called babysitting.
In reality, this is where the meat of the interaction comes and this skill, in a nutshell, will
determine how soon and how often you will have opportunities to close girls. If your logistics
and follow-up game are rock-solid, youll be laying almost every girl who picks up your
phone call and successfully pulling more often for SNLs.
If you lack the aggression or the tenacity, your logistics and follow-up will suffer and youll
constantly face, the one that got away scenarios.
Skill #6: Physicality and Sex If skill #5 determines your opportunities to close, skill #6 is
the actual act of closing.
I say physicality to involve all aspects of kinoing and being good at foreplay and finally
being good in bed.
Heres a fact: Its impossible to lay a girl if you do not touch her and touch her aggressively.
The better you are at it, the more it will accelerate the interaction and the more options youll
have in managing the interaction and/or relationship.
Being good at foreplay and sex will determine your return rate and eliminate LMR. It will
also put you in a better position to manage the relationships after you lay the girl creating
more FBs, MLTRs or getting a girlfriend much easier.
The biggest thing that puts the skids on this skill is sexual anxiety. A lot of guys will talk
themselves out of golden opportunities over and over and over for no other reason than that
they lack the sexual confidence to push the interaction forward.
Heres some news: girls are usually just as nervous as you, if not more. If someone doesnt
take the risk and try to make something happen, nothing is ever going to happen. So very
similarly to overcoming approach anxiety, conquering sexual anxiety is a matter of throwing
yourself into the situations and doing it repeatedly.
Now, I had a group of friends in Boston that I went out with who were very good with
women as well, but they were PUAs and they learned through the community. And I can tell
you, going out with these Texas guys is like night and day compared to the guys in Boston,
and since coming home tonight, Ive been trying to place my finger on exactly what it is.
The funny thing is, the natural guys here are just normal, cool guys. They would not stand
out at all if you saw them in a club. Theyre all decent-looking but nothing head-turning.
They arent exactly spectacular when they get into set either. One of them is a little awkward
in conversations, one of them has some AA, one of them escalates like a bitch at times, but
usually gets the girl on a day 2 or day 3. But in the long-run, they all get awesome results
with attractive girls.
But at the same time, theyre quite aware of all of this. Theyre all aware of their actions and
consider choices theyve made and interactions after the fact. They dont use the same lingo
or theories, but they have the wherewithal to know when they fucked up. Theyre
DEFINITELY aware of their intentions and definitely put A LOT of effort into being good
with women just as much as many community guys do (although they dont buy products
and bootcamps and shit, they just go out a lot).
So whats the difference? Why are these guys pulling ass as consistently and of quality as
most PUA instructors, but theyve never read anything more than The Game (and laughed
at it) or taken a bootcamp?
After thinking about it for a while, there are two GLARING differences that seem to explain
just about everything.
1) They are ALWAYS are going for what they want, no matter what.
2) They dont take themselves or their pick up skills seriously at all.
I think these things get mis-construed as awesome inner game often, when actually, some
of the best naturals Ive hung out with have been neurotic or really insecure or had all sorts of
inner game issues. But I can say, without exception, every non-community guy Ive met
who has 50+ lays has gotten good by the two things above. Without help of ebooks, audio
courses, tele-conferences, etc.
Ironically, despite its virtues and lessons, the community inadvertantly interferes with both of
the points above. PUA gets us side-tracked in random stuff like saying hi to 50 strangers, or
opening girls with kino, or trying different voicemails. Seriously, if I could have a dime for
every time I was out with a community guy who said, Its cool, I got her number, shes into
me man, I wanted to open more sets Id well, Id drown the stupid fucker who said that
in dimes. Unfortunately, its pervasive community guys are constantly bitching out of
opportunities because theyve already accomplished some smaller, simpler, non-sexual goal
that they set on a message board somewhere.
These types of theoretical goals and focus on the concept of PUA being a skill-set also
influences us to take it very seriously. The truth is (if you havent figure it out on this blog
yet), is that pick up is obscenely random. No matter how good you are, the majority of your
interactions are going to lie outside of your control and theres ALWAYS going to be some
aspect of a numbers game involved. But as soon as we start taking our skill set and
conversion rates and close rates seriously, we make ourselves vulnerable to failure and
rejection.
The first is key. And its so fucking obvious. But going out with these guys is so fucking
refreshing after years of coaching and hanging out with PUAs. Everything comes back to,
Am I going to hook up with this girl? And if the answer is no, then the next question is,
What do I have to do to hook up with this girl? Thats it. No talk about practicing mixed
sets, no talk about working on their vibing, no discussion of logistics just, Im trying to
hook up with this girl. Got numbers in his phone, hes going for it. Running into a girl he
met last weekend? Going for it. Making out with a girl but she has to go? Going for it. No
rationalizations, no excuses, no concern with the meta-process. Theres a clear success and
failure at all times.
The second part is huge as well. I guess being so involved in the scene the last few years
clouded my perspective to how fucking self-important we can be. Again, I think this is an
extension of prioritizing all sorts of ancillary crap (hows my A2 game doing? what do my
wingmen think of this girl? whats my LR going to read like if this works?).
Hanging with these guys is awesome because we just laugh at ourselves all the fucking
time. No one is safe. Every guy gets ripped repeatedly for anything and everything. Hell, they
rip on me for being a PUA coach. Its fucking great. They rip on me for my products. And
its cool, because to them, Im the dorky, skinny dude they went to high school with.
But its that same attitude that leads to success. Nothing is off-limits. Everybody is constantly
reminded that no one is too important and that no interaction is too important. If you are
attached to your results (or lack thereof), hanging out with these guys will be like a nuclear
bomb to the ego. And its so healthy.
Its also felt fucking great for me. One of the side-effects of this job is a lot of ego stroking,
and at times its hard to not let it get to my head. In fact, there are times where it drives me
crazy and I just want to be treated like a normal dude, because really I am just a normal
dude just like these normal dudes posted up at the bar, cracking jokes at each other, and
chasing tail now and again but when I do chase, I dont fuck around I go for it.
I believe that when youre insulated in an internet-bubble, that its so easy to get caught up in
nonsense and start thinking that things are a huge deal and big problem when really as my
natural friend says theres no there there. The problems or achievements are just in our
head. And what truly matters happens in the laughter between you and the people you are
with face-to-face.
And maybe thats really the only important thing to remember in all of this. Always go for
what you want. But never take yourself too seriously.
Id say around more than half of the guys in the community could get good and be able to
leave the community if they just go out 4 nights a week for a year and change what needs to
be fixed. Add some professional training from someone who knows what theyre doing to the
mix and I think the number is about 80% of all the guys in the community.
Keep a Journal
Track your sets and see what is working and what isnt. I found trends in my day game sets
by looking at my journal. Captain Jack discovered that Strawberry Fields was awesome by
looking at his journal and seeing he ran it with every girl he same night layed.
I wrote this whole post while taking a shit
2. Body Language/Tonality This stuff is easy to fix with some conscious effort. Straighten
up your back, put your shoulders back, hold your head up, look straight ahead while you
walk. RELAX! Make eye contact with girls you find attractive and practice holding it. Speak
LOUDLY. I dont care how loud you are, BE LOUDER. What? LOUDER!
3. Read Material This is the one time I will ever tell you to read MORE material. Read
EVERYTHING you get your hands on. The Game, Magic Bullets, Double Your
Dating and The Routine Manual are all must-reads. Read stuff by Juggler, BradP, RSD,
Pickup101, etc. Go to a bookstore (open a set while youre there) and get Way of the
Superior Man by David Deida and Sperm Wars by Robin Baker. Digest as much
information as possible. Find what resonates with you and what doesnt. Join and browse as
many forums as possible. Find which posters you enjoy. Read as many LRs as possible.
4. Seek Out Wingmen This is important. 90% of guys by this point will be wanting to
approach but running into hardcore AA. If you have single friends who go out often, start
going out with them. Even if you dont approach, get comfortable in bars and clubs they
can be culture shock at first and REALLY intimidating if youve never gone. If your friends
are hardcore AFCs (most will be), then seek out wingmen in a local lair, on the mASF
winglist, or even put up a Craigslist ad for a wingman (Ive heard this has been working more
and more lately). When you start, your AA is going to own you if it hasnt already. You need
another guy, preferrably more experienced, to help push you into sets. Start approaching
casually. It isnt time to hit full throttle yet. Try out different ways of opening. See what
hooks sets. Get over your nerves. Dont beat yourself up if the night doesnt go well. You still
have a lot of work on yourself to do.
5. Professional Life and Passions If you dont have a job, get one. If you hate your job, start
looking for another one. If youre a student, make sure youre getting good grades and
attending class. Cultivate your passions. Have a guitar thats been collecting dust for a year?
Start playing again. Take a boxing class. Take a salsa class. Train for a marathon. Buy a bike.
Learn to cook. Travel to Israel, or China, or India, or Australia, or wherever. Find what you
love in life and build an identity around that. GET OUT OF YOUR SHELL. Before you can
show off an amazing person to the hottie down the street, you have to BE an amazing person
yourself. That means getting off your ass and doing something other than watching TV and
playing Guitar Hero.
Phase II: Let the Games Begin (3-6 months)
If youve been working on the items in Phase I, you have the basic building blocks in place to
sarge consistently and have some semblance of a clue of what youre doing once you open.
You have wingmen, and you can open despite AA (finally). This second period is valuable
for experimenting with creating attraction and rapport, learning to create interesting threads,
holding and dominating dynamic conversations. By the end of this phase, you should be able
to get phone numbers pretty easily.
1. Go Out Consistently You should have at least a couple reliable wingmen at this point.
Even if theyre not good, thats fine. Start going out regularly. Weekends are
MANDATORY. Additional weeknights are preferrable. The more you sarge, the better youll
get. At this point, you should be APPROACHING as much as possible. Five times a night,
minimum. DO IT!
2. Cut Back on Material By now you should have a good idea of which guru appeals to
you and which style of game you feel most comfortable running (direct/indirect,
canned/natural, etc.). Focus on that material and delve into it. Read some about inner game:
David X, Carlos Xuma, etc. Start posting on your favorite boards and put up as many FRs as
possible. By the end of this phase youll hit your first sticking points. Theyll most likely be:
generating attraction, generating comfort, or escalating. All three lead to lots of flakes and not
getting laid.
3. Fashion Why is this in Phase II, you ask? Simple, Ive seen TOO MANY guys who first
start out and immediately go out and buy a new wardrobe thinking theyre peacocking, but
they look utterly ridiculous. At this point, you should have been going to the bars for a few
months and noticed which guys look good and which ones dont. Keep an eye out for guys
with a style that you like and try to emulate them. Check out BradPs Fashion Bible and
http://www.kinowear.com/. Do some fashion research and find hip stores that you like in
your city. GET CLOTHES THAT FIT! Augment your wardrobe slowly its a process.
Start with the uniform: button down shirt, nice jeans, nice shoes. GET CLOTHES THAT
FIT! Add a bracelet and necklace. Slowly branch out from there as you become more
informed and comfortable with various styles. Oh, and GET CLOTHES THAT FIT!
4. Take a Bootcamp (Optional) Bootcamps are not a cure-all for any of this, although they
greatly accelerate your progress. They help you approach, get your style, outer game, and
theory in order. They provide experts who you can model and who can constructively
criticize you. If you have the money, you should definitely take one. The only caveat is you
want to make sure you take a bootcamp from a school that greatly resembles your style and
values when it comes to sarging.
Phase III: Practice, Practice, Practice (6-12 months)
OK, you got numbers, you know theory back and forth, and you have a handful of favorite
places to sarge. You know what to do, SO DO IT AND DONT STOP!
1. Sarge CONSTANTLY Sarge as much as your sanity and time can handle. By now
opening and number closing should be the rule, not the exception every time you go out.
Tweak your game, escalate, go direct, expand your social circle, go on days.2 The more you
sarge, the faster you improve. Call every number you get. Push every interaction as far as
possible. If you look at every guru they all had a period where they sarged 5-7 days a week
for extended periods of time. If you dont go out more than 2-3 times a week, you will not see
much improvement at this point.
2. STOP Reading Material By now you know what you should be doing, how to do it, and
when youre not doing it correctly. Youre finally starting to engrain successful habits into
yourself, so reading material will be counterproductive if anything. By now, you should have
1-2 favorite message boards where youre comfortable asking questions and posting FRs and
LRs and getting feedback. Other than that, STOP READING. Its will overcomplicate your
in-field experiences, and youll waste more time doing it instead of sarging. Theres one
exception to this and that is
3. Get Good at Sex Ideally, by the end of the first year, you should be getting laid here and
there. If you are, then learn to fuck well. Read Sex God Method by Dan Rose, David
Shades Masterful Lover and The Multi-Orgasmic Man. If you actually manage to get a
girl to stick around for a bit (oh, you player, you), then fuck her as much as possible (I
probably dont have to tell you that) and get used to what a vagina feels like. Believe it or
not, the more you fuck, the easier it is to fuck other girls.
To PUA-dom and Beyond
If you keep Phase III up for an extended period of time, youll find yourself actually (gasp!)
getting laid regularly! Welcome to normal, functioning humanity. Its up to you where to go
from this point: harems, SNLs or a nice and tidy girlfriend, maybe?
This timeline is by no means rigid or the standard. This just seems to be the average
amount of time for most guys who push themselves. A lot of guys have a lot more ground to
cover, and theyll take longer obviously. But I believe that for anybody who pushes
themselves regularly, this is a completely reasonable timeframe to create these goals and see
these results.
If theres one thing to take from this, it is that 90% of your improvement will come FROM
THE FIELD. With the exception of introducing yourself to the community, reading eBooks
or crap on forums (like this post) retains a miniscule amount of value relative to a solid night
in the field. A guru said once that one set is the equivalent of 100 pages of theory/material. If
youve been going out for months and still cant approach, YOU ARENT PUSHING
YOURSELF. If youve been getting numbers for months, but they all flake, YOU ARE NOT
PUSHING YOURSELF. If you are sarging less than three times a week and expecting to
improve, YOU ARE NOT PUSHING YOURSELF. Get out there and push the envelope.
Youve got one fucking life and its slowly ending every second you spend reading this. SO
GET OUT THERE AND DO IT.
Thats it! Good luck
Relationships
Harem Management 101
Somebody recently linked this on the Boston boards and I COMPLETELY forgot that I wrote
it. I saw it today and was like, damn, this is awesome, when did I write this? So anyway,
here it is on the blog.
Alright, heres what I would call Harem Management 101.
Really, this shit comes down more to how much free time you have and not being stupid than
anything else.
As any guy who this post actually applies to knows, women are TIME CONSUMING. They
love to sit around and talk and cuddle and do a bunch of nothing with you all day. Typically,
if a girl comes over at 8PM one night, its pretty much a given that Im not going to be
productive for the rest of the night. Keep this in mind and adjust accordingly.
With that said, when were juggling multiple women, they fall into two categories: the FB
and the MLTR. FBs are of the pump-and-dump variety, more of booty calls. You dont
typically hang out with them a long time nor sleep over at their place or let them crash at
yours. Sponteneity is more of the norm as calling her up at 10PM one night for a quickie isnt
out of line at all. As such, FBs are easy on your schedule because they can fit in almost
anywhere and you can go long stretches without seeing them (probably up to two to three
weeks).
MLTRs on the other hand are a once-a-week minimum. They usually stay over and viceversa and you will often spend most of the day/night with her. Theyre more time consuming
and also weekend eligible (i.e., you should be willing to give them a Friday or Saturday).
For purely logistical reasons, I would not keep more than two MLTRs at a time. At one point
I had 3 MLTRs and 3 FBs, and I literally spent twice as much time in other beds as I did my
own.
Ill break down a little scale as far as time-consuming goes, MLTR = 1GF, FB = 0.5GF. So
for instance, 2 MLTRs and 2 FBs would = 3GFs.
1GF = Easily manageable. Far more nights free than not. Be careful of scarcity complex and
getting too attached to the one girl.
2GF = Still manageable. 2 MLTRs + 1 FB is probably my favorite rotation as you still have
quality time with quality women, have chances to still go out every week, but will never go
more than 2-3 days without getting laid.
3GF = This is where it begins to get time consuming. Youre now spending just about every
other night with a girl. If you work a lot or have a lot of hobbies, this is probably the most
women you can handle at once.
4GF = You really must hate being home and/or alone. No time to go out, always tired.
Spending a night by yourself actually begins to look like a luxury.
5GF = This begins to test your sanity. If you still force yourself to go out on weekends, you
no longer have ANY nights free. Literally almost every night is a date or spent with one
girl or another. I got close to this once and I literally had NO FREE TIME. Ever. After a
week I freaked out and dropped a couple girls.
You hear about guys like Zan or DavidX who have juggled up 7 or 9 GFs at a time, but in
both cases, the girls all not only know ABOUT each other but knew each other. Having dealt
with multiple girlfriends, I dont buy this at all unless theyre calling their FBs
girlfriends (which some guys do). Simply the amount of time necessary to manage all of
the relationships and the fact that you only have so much sex drive. I mean, my sex drive can
barely keep up with ONE girlfriend, but NINE? Youd be spending four hours a day fucking
and the another four fighting about which girlfriends you were fucking and which ones you
werent. Your life would fall apart.
I think 4GF is the highest you could reasonably go without having the girls meet each other
and start double booking them. I dont have nearly as much experience with introducing FBs
and MLTRs and having them hang out. The basic idea is that you tell each girl that you will
not tolerate any jealousy or drama from any single girl, that they must at least be courteous to
the other women in your life and then just hope the women get along well. Even then, you
have to do a lot of maintenance and arbitrating. So the massive amounts of time consumption
still exists.
Really, theres no getting around the time factor. Guys get off bragging or day-dreaming
about having like six women at once, but once you actually start dating 5-6 women at a time,
the massive amounts of time needed to manage those relationships defeats ANY satisfaction
anyway. I mean, sure its cool to fuck five different girls in one week, its always nice to say
youve done it. But the reality is at the end of that week I would have killed to have two
nights by myself.
Here are some other general guidelines:
1) Try to find a day of the week for each of your MLTRs. Mondays-Thursdays are great.
Check your schedule against hers and see what works. Chicks actually really like this if you
can arrange this and tell them, OK, every Monday is our night together. Save the FBs for
bootie calls later on in the week when youre drunk and horny on a Saturday.
2) Obviously, to avoid double-booking, youre going to have to plan out each week a week in
advance. Guideline number one makes this much easier, but a lot of times these girls will
invite you to shit or youll have new day twos and shit set up. When you only have 1-2 girls,
making plans isnt a big deal, but when youre juggling 4-5, planning a week in advance is
MANDATORY. Find out the girls schedule and make plans. Its never a bad idea.
3) Managing everyones expectations: if a girl wants you to hang out with her next
Wednesday, but Wednesday is booked, just tell her sorry, I got plans, but Im free
Thursday. If its something specific and personal to her (like shes in a performance or her
friend out of town is coming, etc.), call your Wednesday girl and reschedule telling her
something ambiguous. NEVER underestimate the power of ambiguity. Saying, Oh
something came up, can we hang out Thursday instead? will rarely get a second thought. If
the girl does say, Oh, what are you doing? that should send up a flag that shes becoming
emotionally involved and wants to know why youre rearranging your time with her. I like
taking the route of being honest, except use my friend vaguely to describe whats going on.
For instance, in this example if the girl asked me why I was rescheduling, I would say, My
friend has a performance Wednesday, and they asked me to go to it. Its true. But its
sexually ambiguous.
4) Dropping girls from the rotation requires little more than not calling them. Trust me, if you
have enough girls youll find yourself forgetting to call your lesser favorites anyway.
5) If any two are bisexual or bi-curious, consider introducing two of them. Double book a
night. Tell each one about the other one beforehand and get them to look forward to meeting
and then see what happens. In my experience, the best threesome potential happens with a
MLTR and an FB combo. Two MLTRs will get pissy and jealous of each other, and two
FBs, theres just not enough investment in you.