EEE314

Critiquing Assessment Items

Assessment Item One

11168546 - Craig Edwards

Maths Stage 2

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(NSW Board of Studies, 2013)

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Math Stage 2 - Section 1

Parker has demonstrated a high level of understanding of Two Dimensional Shapes. He is able to
identify and mark right, acute and obtuse angles indicating that he has met the requirement of
ACMMG089. However, he has not used the correct notation to indicate a right angle. He has
demonstrated strength in identifying and naming two-dimensional shapes. The positioning of the
images in the assessment has also allowed Parker to demonstrate that he is able to identify shapes
presented in different orientations. Parker has demonstrated a thorough understanding of axes of
symmetry in his drawings. However, he often failed to replicate this in his written description of the
shapes with many errors present. He has also referred to the lines or axes of symmetry as just
symmetry, indicating a weakness in vocabulary. In saying that however, the question at the top of
the page just states symmetry. Parker was able to clearly identify the number of vertices that each
shape had but he referred to these as corners, not vertices indicating a weakness in his vocabulary.
Parker has also included a description of the number of faces of each shape. As the shapes were all
two-dimensional this was not necessary but indicates that he has an understanding of faces. In the
final question of this assessment Parker has demonstrated a good understanding of circles. He has
been able to articulate that any line drawn through the centre of a circle is the same size, thus
showing an understanding of diameter. Although he has struggled to effectively answer the
question. This indicates that he has not met the syllabus outcome recognise and explain why any
line through the centre of (and across) a circle is a line of symmetry (Communicating, Reasoning)
(NSW Government Mathematics, 2013). The descriptions which Parker has written next to each
shape are only statements indicating a weakness in his writing.
Math Stage 2 - Section 2
The New South Wales Board of Studies Stage 2 descriptors states Students name, describe and
sketch particular three-dimensional objects and two-dimensional shapes. (NSW Government
Mathematics, 2013, p. 30). In order to meet this requirement Parker would benefit from several
activities to enhance his knowledge and understanding. Parker needs to extend his vocabulary in
order to ensure that he is using the language associated with the topic. Activities that may aid him
in this include word walls, Appendix One, 4 Pictures One Word, Appendix Two, and Key Phrase
Journal, Appendix Three. A word wall may be developed throughout the topic. Here students are
able to place words on a wall or piece of paper that are related to the topic. 4 pictures one word will
assist Parker to identify the different images and diagrams associated with individual words, allowing
him to apply words in a variety of questions. A Key Phrase Journal will not only aid with vocab
development but also writing skills. Parkers knowledge of symmetry could be extended through the
identification of lines of symmetry in everyday life such as Butterflies, Artworks, Dart Boards and
Ferris Wheels. This will allow him to meet the requirements of ACMMG066. His knowledge and
understanding of the properties of various two-dimensional shapes could be extended through the
use of Venn Diagrams or triangular Venn Diagrams. This will enable him to compare and contrast
given shapes to see how they are similar and different. His knowledge could further be extended
through construction activities. Parker could build two-dimensional shapes using straws, paddle pop
sticks, string or pipe cleaners. This will enable him to develop a deep understanding of their
properties. This activity could then lead into the construction of objects such as bridges and also
writing skills to aid descriptions.

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Maths Stage 4 - Drew

(NSW Board of Studies, 2013)

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Math Stage 4 - Section 1

Drew has completed all of the questions in this task and has demonstrated a thorough
understanding of fractions. He has a deep understanding of addition and multiplication with
fractions. It may be assumed that he has a good understanding of division, however, as this is not
explicitly assessed in this task it is difficult to accurately assess his understanding in this area. Drew
has shown he is not only capable of adding fractions without a common denominator but he is also
competent in identifying the lowest common denominator. This indicates significant strengths with
times tables and hence multiples. He has also demonstrated a thorough understanding of
conversions between mixed numerals and improper fractions and the simplification of fractions.
Drews ability to simplify prior to multiplying fractions indicates a deep understanding. This work
demonstrates that Drew has a high understanding of fractions and is meeting several of the required
outcomes in Stage 4 Fractions, Decimals and Percentages (NSW Government Mathematics, 2013, p.
264). In this work sample Drew has had difficulty responding to questions that required the answers
in written form or diagrams. Whist Drew has demonstrated a mathematical expression that would
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lead to 2 4 he has failed to produce a written question that would lead to this. This indicates a
weakness in Literacy skills and problem solving. Drew has shown that he is very capable of
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completing however, he is not able to draw a diagram of this problem. This indicates gap in
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his depth of understanding of fractions. Drew has shown that he knows how to multiply fractions
but has failed to demonstrate a clear understanding of this process on the task through his
calculations and working out process.
Math Stage 4 - Section 2
The New South Wales Board of Studies (NSW Government Mathematics, 2013, p. 31) states that By
the end of Stage 4, students use mathematical terminology, algebraic notation, diagrams, text and
tables to communicate mathematical ideas, and link concepts and processes within and between
mathematical contexts. In order to meet the Stage 4 requirements Drew needs activities to enhance
his skills in using text and diagrams. ACMNA126 states that students solve word problems involving
the addition and subtraction of fractions where one denominator is the same as, or a multiple of,
the other, e.g. 'I ate of a cake and my friend ate of the cake. What fraction of the cake remains?'
(NSW Government Mathematics, 2013, p. 203). Whilst this only applies to addition and subtraction
the strategies developed when completing this outcome could be applied to problems involving
multiplication. In order to further enhance Drews skills in solving worded problems he could be
asked to develop worded problem/s in class and swap problems with a peer. This would enable him
to both write and solve written problems. Linking worded problems to other Key Learning Areas
including Technological and Applied Studies, Science and Creative Arts may enable Drew to see the
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relevance of what he is learning. For example, if a recipe requires of a cup of sugar but you want to
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halve the ingredients, how much sugar would you require?

Drew would benefit from extension activities that would enable him to meet outcomes ACMNA153
recognise and explain incorrect operations with fractions and ACMNA154 determine the effect of
multiplying or dividing by a number with magnitude less than 1. In order to meet the outcome in
ACMNA153 Drew could be given an incorrect solution to a problem and be asked to identify where
the errors occur. Alternatively, Drew could be asked to incorrectly solve a problem and give this to a
peer to identify the errors in his solution. Drew could be asked to explain the effect of multiplying a
fraction by a fraction i.e. does it make the number bigger or smaller, this may be done verbally or in
written form.

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English Stage 2

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(NSW Board of Studies, 2013)

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English Stage 2 - Section 1

Flynn has shown sound skills in writing a recount. He has demonstrated some knowledge and
understanding of the structures and requirements of a recount. Though this activity Flynn has shown
that he is capable of writing simple and compound sentences however, he would benefit from
extension activities that will enable him to produce complex sentences. Whilst his writing is neat
Flynn has not consistently written cursive writing thus indicating that he is yet to meet all
requirements of outcome EN2-3A. Flynn has demonstrated a strength in using adjectives to describe
objects and places indicating a good vocabulary for this stage. This task has also shown that Flynn is
capable of writing in past tense and he is able to keep events in a sequential order.
This task has shown that Flynn has some weaknesses with punctuation, spelling and paragraphing.
On several occasions throughout the task Flynn has become confused with the placement of capital
letters. Whilst Flynn is capable of spelling words such as squashed and swimming he has struggled
with unfamiliar words including Freestyle and enjoyed. He has demonstrated the use of different
strategies to assist in the spelling of unfamiliar words however, he would benefit from editing his
work upon completion. In some places throughout the recount Flynn has omitted words. This
indicates a weakness in sentence construction. Flynn has also failed to separate his recount into
paragraphs showing a weakness in formatting. As a result Flynn would benefit from further activities
that allow him to meet the Stage 2 English outcomes of:
EN2-5A: uses a range of strategies, including knowledge of letter-sound correspondences
and common letter patters, to spell familiar and some unfamiliar words
EN2-7B: identifies and uses language forms ad features in their own writing appropriate to a
range of purposes, audiences and contexts
EN2-9B: uses effective and accurate sentence structure, grammatical features, punctuation
conventions and vocabulary relevant to the type of text when responding to and composing
texts
This task links directly to Personal Development, Health and Physical Education through Outcomes
COS2.1: use a variety of ways to communicate with and within groups.
In particular Flynns ability to report on participation in games and activities to a large group
(NSW Board of Studies PDHPE, 2007, p. 21)
English Stage 2 - Section 2
The New South Wales Board of Studies (NSW Government English, 2013, p. 19) states that By the
end of Stage 2 students communicate expressively and clearly with growing proficiency about ideas
and information in classroom, school and social situations for a range of purposes. Students create
well-structured imaginative, informative and persuasive texts in term of topic, purpose, audience
and language by drafting, proofreading and editing for familiar and unfamiliar audiences. They use
simple and complex sentences, paragraphing, punctuation and grammatical features characteristic
of the various texts to support meaning. In order to meet these requirements by the end of Stage 2
Flynn would benefit from several teaching and learning activities to improve his writing techniques.
In order to improve his sentence structure there are several activities that Flynn could undertake
modelled sentences. These would start with simple sentences and move onto compound and
complex sentences. As Flynn progresses through each sentence type he would also learn the
differences between each type.
Whenever Flynn completes a written task he should undertake editing and proof reading in order to
improve his skills in this area. Flynn could be given a check list to look at when editing his work in
order to ensure that he has used all writing features effectively. Flynn should also be given the
opportunity to edit his peers work. This will not only give him the required skills in proof reading but
will also aid in the development of his writing techniques.

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In order to assist Flynn with spelling there are several activities that he could undertake. Providing
Flynn with relevant spelling words each week to assist him to build his vocabulary. Performing this
task in conjunction with dictionary work will build his understanding. These activities will lead onto
assisting building his sentence structure as Flynn uses the newly learnt words to create simple,
compound and complex sentences.
To aid with Flynns use of paragraphs when writing extended responses such as those required in
this task he could be given a scaffold or proforma that leads him to separating each new idea into an
individual paragraph.
In order to further extend his vocabulary Flynn the class could use word walls or undertake activities
on synonyms and antonyms such as a Reference Card or Vocabulary Building (Appendix Ten).
Providing Flynn with passages of text with highlighted words he can substitute synonyms or alter the
sentence and use an antonym.

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English Stage 4

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(NSW Board of Studies, 2013)

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English Stage 4 - Section 1

Flynn has demonstrated a high understanding of poetic techniques and persuasive writing.
Throughout the task Flynn has been able to identify poetic techniques and is able to articulate the
effect of each and support his ideas with appropriate references to the text. Whilst the analysis of
the first two poems was executed to a high standard, the analysis of the third was not to the same
standard. This indicated either a lack of understanding of the poem or failure to complete the task in
the time allocated. The third poem unlike the first two did not include a general overview of the
poems content, but immediately focused on the techniques.
Flynn has demonstrated a strong understanding of the format of poems. This is indicated through his
use of the term stanza and identification of rhyming patterns.
Flynn has effectively used punctuation and has accurately spelt all words in this task. Unfortunately
however, he needs to work on his paragraphs and a variety and complexity of word sentences. Flynn
has used short hand and unnecessary comments in her writing for example yr. 7, zoom, hoorah!
The fact that Flynn has started a new paragraph for each poetic technique was often unnecessary
creating a series of extremely short paragraphs. Her conclusion was not very effective and hindered
the overall effect of her writing indicating a lack of time to make clear her thesis/argument.
Flynn is performing well in Stage 4 English; the following outcomes apply to this task
EN4-1A: Responds to and composes texts for understanding, interpretation, critical analysis,
imaginative expression and pleasure
EN4-2A: effectively uses a widening range of processes, skills, strategies and knowledge for
responding to and composing texts in different media and technologies
EN4-3B: uses and describes language forms, features and structures of texts appropriate to a
range of purposes, audiences and contexts
EN4-4B: makes effective language choices to creatively shape meaning with accuracy, clarity
and coherence
EN4-5C: thinks imaginatively, creatively, interpretively and critically about information, ideas
and arguments to respond to and compose texts
EN4-6C: identifies and explains connections between and among texts
English Stage 4 - Section 2
The New South Wales Board of Studies (NSW Government English, 2013, p. 20) states that By the
end of Stage 4 students respond to a variety of texts critically, imaginatively and interpretively and
compose accurate, clear and coherent texts. They use English in personal, social and learning
contexts with increasing control and understanding of the form and features of language and
structures of texts, and with increasing awareness of purpose, audience and context. Students make
connections between texts, they recognise the main ideas and points of view, and the ways in which
texts seek to position responders. They explore texts critically, evaluating content, differentiating
between fact and opinion, challenging points of view and identifying, considering and appreciating
cultural expressions. They respond to imagery and symbolism in verbal and visual forms. They
engage with print, film and digital texts with an informed awareness of the language forms and
features and structures of those texts. Students develop personal preferences in what they hear,
read and view, and are able to articulate their preference in personal and critical responses. Flynn is
progressing well in Stage 4 and meeting Stage 4 English.
To further Flynn stylistically further work is required on the metalanguage of English to ensure words
like put used in the third last paragraph are not used.

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It is recommended that Flynn reads more widely particularly outside his areas of interest. Flynn
should also view films outside of context on TV stations like ABC and art-house films on SBS.
In order to improve Flynns ability to develop arguments in terms of the effect and effectiveness of
poems structured analysis pieces could be presented to Flynn and then shared with peers to review
each others work.
It is important than Flynn learns how to spell the authors name correctly. This can be achieved
through further spelling and reading of text and practicing using a dictionary and thesaurus.

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History Stage 4 Riley Grade D

(NSW Board of Studies, 2013)

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History Stage 4 - Section 1

Riley has demonstrated a basic understanding of life along the Nile. Whilst he has made reference to
food collection, accessories and forms of transport there is limited detail about each of these
aspects, his statements are simple general comments. Riley has spoken about shadufs, barges and
papyrus reeds indicating that he has some knowledge and understanding of Egyptians lifestyle
however, there is no reference to specific farming techniques, wildlife and leisure. This indicates that
he is not fulfilling the requirements of ACDSEH002, ACDSEH003 and ACDSEH004. His limited insight
into the lives of Egyptians also indicates that he is not meeting ACDSEH032, ACDSEH035 and
ACDSEH038. As such Riley is not meeting the required outcomes from Stage 4 History, particularly:
HT4-2: describes major periods of historical time and sequences events, people and societies
from the past
Riley is only partially meeting the following outcomes:
HT4-6:
HT4-9
HT4-10
Riley has also failed to interpret the question correctly. He has not taken on the role in this task,of an
Egyptian official and has not written it in the correct writing style. As a result Riley is struggling to
meet the requirements of Stage 4 English. The following Stage 4 English outcomes apply to this task
EN4-1A: Responds to and composes texts for understanding, interpretation, critical analysis,
imaginative expression and pleasure
EN4-2A: effectively uses a widening range of processes, skills, strategies and knowledge for
responding to and composing texts in different media and technologies
EN4-3B: uses and describes language forms, features and structures of texts appropriate to a
range of purposes, audiences and contexts
EN4-4B: makes effective language choices to creatively shape meaning with accuracy, clarity
and coherence
EN4-8D: identifies, considers and appreciates cultural expression in texts
Rileys writing has shown many weaknesses. Whilst he has split the recount into clear paragraphs his
technique in doing so needs refining. There are also some punctuation and spelling errors
throughout his writing. Rileys failure to complete a page of writing, as per the task description
indicates a weakness in extended responses as well as reinforces his lack of understanding of the
Egyptians lifestyle.
History Stage 4 - Section 2
The New South Wales Board of Studies (NSW Government HSIE, 2013)states that By the end of
Stage 4, students describe the nature of history and archaeology, and explain their contribution to
an understanding of the past. They describe major periods or historical time and sequence events,
people and societies from the past. In order to meet this requirement Riley would benefit from
several remedial and consolidation teaching and learning activities.
In order to further develop Rileys understanding of Egyptians and their lifestyles there are several
activities that he could undertake. By completing Photo Album, Filmstrip Summary Boxes and Strips,
or a Picture Quilt, Appendix Four Five and Six, Riley would be able to visualise the information that
he is learning. These activities will also enable his teacher to understand what Riley is seeing when
learning about this topic, enabling them to identify gaps in his knowledge. By summarising all
information learnt in a template such as Story Pyramid, Whats the Big Idea? or Current Events
Summary, Appendix Seven Eight and Nine, Riley will be able to take out the key points from each
aspect of Egyptian life and could use these summaries when completing written responses such as

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those required in this task. By undertaking activities that enable Riley to compare and contrast the
lives of the Egyptians to his life Riley should be able to develop a deeper understanding of ancient
Egyptian life.
Riley would also benefit from remedial and consolidating teaching and learning activities to further
improve his writing skills. He could be provided with further scaffolds to aid in his writing styles and
techniques. In order to improve his skills in writing paragraphs Riley may be provided with the
beginning sentence of a paragraph and asked to complete it. Alternatively he may be given the topic
of a sentence or sentences and asked to complete them. Riley could also be given an introduction
and conclusion and asked to complete the other paragraphs. Riley would also benefit from sentence
building activities that allow him to develop from simple to compound to then complex sentences.
This could once again be done in scaffolded form. Activities that require Riley to develop additional
verbs and adverbs such as constant use of dictionaries and thesaurus on explicit language exercised
to develop more sophisticated language. This will aid in the development of his expression and tense
accuracy when writing.

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Bibliography
Brummer, T., & Clark, S. K. (2012). Writing Strategies for Mathematics. Huntington Beach: Shell
Education.
NSW Board of Studies. (2013, December 2). Assessment Resource Centre. Retrieved from Board Of
Studies NSW: http://arc.boardofstudies.nsw.edu.au./go/7-8/maths/stu-work/b/operationswith-fractions-drew/
NSW Government HSIE. (2013). History K-10 Syllabus. Retrieved from Board Of Studies:
http://syllabus.bos.nsw.edu.au/hsie/
NSW Government Mathematics. (2013). Human Society and Its Environment (HSIE). Retrieved from
NSW Syllabus for the Australian Curriculum: http://syllabus.bos.nsw.edu.au/hsie/

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Appendix One: Word Wall

The Word Wall will expose Parker and his classmates to important vocabulary words and will be an
easy reference for students during the lesson. Parker would be encouraged to add more challenging
words as his understanding developed.

(Brummer & Clark, 2012)

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Appendix Two: Four Pictures One Word

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Appendix Three: Word Wall

Prior to teaching a mathematics lesson, make a list of words or phrases that students should
understand. Throughout the lesson introduce the words and use them in sentences, or point them
out in the text. Discuss the meanings of the words with the students. At the conclusion of the lesson
instruct the students to write an entry in their journals using those words.

Key Words:
Line of symmetry, obtuse, acute, right angle, corners, rectangle, triangle, circle, diameter,
pentagon, hexagon

Journal Entry:
A triangle has three lines of symmetry which intersect each corner. Each line of symmetry
creates a right angle opposite the corner it extends from.

Appendix Four: Film Strip

(Cameron, 2009)

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Filmstrips are an easy visual format that students can identify with. They can be used as wall
displays or a book that can be revisited after the lesson is over. Filmstrips can also be used for
guided reading and will assist in visualising, summarising and supporting oral retelling of the
depicted story.
Appendix Five: Picture Quilt

(Cameron, 2009)

Picture Quilts create an attractive display and provide a basis to compare and discuss the
similarities and differences between students visualisations.

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Appendix Six: Photo Album

(Cameron, 2009)

A Photo Album reinforces the visualisation strategy by creating a class or group album of
student visualisations. These can be limited to a drawing of a character or a setting sketch of
where a part of the story took place, or more general drawing that includes both. On completion
the pictures can be used to create a wall display.

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Appendix Seven:
The Story Pyramid can be used to summarise a story or a sequence of events. More advanced
students can adapt the format to develop their own.

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Appendix Eight:

(Cameron, 2009)

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Appendix Nine:
The student can use a newspaper article to practice creating a summary. This can be adapted for the
History task.

(Cameron, 2009)
Appendix Ten: Reference Card
Word
Afraid
Ask
Begin
Correct
Laugh
Small
True

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Synonym
Petrified
Interrogate
Commence
Accurate
Chortle
Miniscule
Authentic

Antonym
Valiant
Retort
Terminate
Erroneous
Snivel
Gargantuan
Bogus

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