S P R I N G

the

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Mayberry
Daily
Editor: Doraisabel Gaxiola

Fireman to the
The fire
department
Rescue

The Case of the Missing

As we all know the Annual Spring
Festival is right around and for the first
Crown
time in Mayberry history we will be ending this years festivities with a
Beauty Pageant. The Beauty Pageant will be judged by no other than Sheriff
Andy Taylor. BUT as we all know things have gone missing from time to
time down here in Mayberry. The missing case of the gingerbread cookies,
Linuss Blanket, and Wilson volleyball head to just name a few.
The Beauty Pageants crown went missing yesterday afternoon. One
moment the crown was there and the next it wasnt. According to all the girls
at rehearsal, no one saw or heard anything. Hmm, who could it have been
then? Could it have been Leia Solo, Rudy Huxtable, Thelma Lou or
Wednesday Adams? Well, ladies and gentleman, it was none of these
beauties. It was no other than Lassie. Lassie, the dog? Yes, Lassie the dog.
How? Sheriff, Andy Taylor found her trying to bury it in his garden and the
only conclusion he and all the girls came up with was that Lassie might of
confused the crown was her next new shiny bone ready to be buried.
Due to this crazy ordeal, Sheriff Andy Taylor now believes that maybe
Lassie has everything to do with the missing items of Mayberry. A digging
expedition will begin after the Spring Festival. Lets all hope its a
successful expedition, because between you and I, I sure do miss my dear
friend Wilson.
Doraisabel G.

had to work up quite a

sweat Monday
morning when Daisy,
our mayors beloved
cat, got stuck in a tree.
Chief Winsley was up
from eight in the
morning trying to
persuade our finicky
feline friend to come
down. An eyewitness
claims to have seen
Daisy attempting to
run away from a dog,
thus getting herself
stuck in a tree.
Thankfully, with the
help of Lieutenant

SPRING 2016

MAYBERRY DAILY

Mayberry
Love & Hip Hop
By: Benita Bonilla

Here in Mayberry, North Carolina a few of our

well known locals has displayed their love out in
public. Last night, was the grand opening of Club
XS, the towns one and only nightclub. Deputy
Barnie Fife and Aunt Bea decided to take the
night off from fighting crime and baking goods to
join the towns festivities. The pair was spotted in
the VIP section of the club, dancing the night
away. The two were with Stevie J., his wife
Joseline Hernandez, Cardi B, Mariahlynn, Rich
Dollaz, Joe Budden, Papoose and his wife Remy
Ma to name a few. They were popping bottles
and it seemed like the two were having the time
of their life. Spectators described how the pair
seemed to be madly in love, they couldnt seem
to keep their hands off one another. One
spectator stated, It was nice to see such a hard
working couple finally let loose and enjoy life,

Roasted Girl Scouts

By: Joslyn Reese

A wholesome girl scout's table by the Maybury supermarket was set ablaze on Sunday afternoon.
Witnesses speculate the culprit to be a little girl with ebony pigtails. They described her as a pale girl
wearing all black. "I just couldn't believe a little girl would do something like this!" said Sheriff Andy Taylor.
"The cookies were burnt to a crisp. A majority of the girls escaped the scene without any damage except
for a young blond girl named Amanda. She suffered severe burns and half of her hair sizzled off". The
suspect who set fire to the girl scout booth fled the scene before the police or fire department could
arrive. "I know exactly who it was!" stated local woman Aunt Bea. "I had just bought some cookies from
those adorable girl scouts and was walking to my car. Suddenly, I heard screaming and, right before my
eyes, the whole booth was set on fire! It was that no good Wednesday Adams! She recently moved down
the block from me! I could spot her anywhere!" Police have not placed Wednesday under arrest but is
intending to obtain a search warrant. "I played with her (Wednesday) a couple of times." re-countered
Opie Taylor. "She showed me her voodoo dolls. She has one that has an officer uniform, a girl scout
uniform, and a lady in a dress. She also introduced me to her family. I thought it was just my imagination,
but I could of sworn I saw a hand walking down the hall". Sheriff Taylor and the police department strictly
enforces the public to report any suspicious activity deriving from the Adams' residence. Next time, girl
scouts might have to go door-to-door to sell their delicious cookies.

SPRING 2016

MAYBERRY DAILY

Fusce quis lacus

Newly Discovered Creature

by Janet Ornelas

Vivamus fringilla

This just in, Sheriff Andy Taylor and his son Opie, have discovered an undiscovered creature. While they were both
out fishing out in Mayberry, they came across a weird creature. Opie describes some of its interesting physical
features. He mentioned to our reporters that is had two big long teeth at the sides of his mouth. It also had a very
long and purple body, with a long sharp tail, and dark orange eyes. He also said that this creature was not out to
eat the bait on his fishing rod, but he was out to drink the bottle of pop they had been drinking. Not only had this
fish never seen before, but it was out to drink peoples pop. Shrief Andy quickly captured the fish, and took it to
the ichthyologist, or in other words to himself, to find out what type of fish it was. The ichthyologist , Andy Taylor,
classified it as a vampire, pop drinking fish. He named this rare species after himself, because he was the one to

Poodles, Weddings, &

By: Tyler Eldridge
Nunchucks
A disturbing scene ensued late Thursday evening in
Mayberry. Resident John Croy, 47, was set to marry his
beloved dog, Shirley Poo, 4, with a few of his closest
friends. "I mean, he's unorthodox, but let the man do what
he wants to do!" said Margaret Garble, friend of Croy. As
the church bells were about to chime for Shirley Poo to be
escorted down the aisle with her diamond encrusted leash,
the evening turned to chaos. A man wearing nothing but
the mask of a luchador (Mexican wrestler), a speedo, and
bright yellow rain boots, came barreling through one of the
church's stained glass windows, holding a pair of
nunchucks and a peanut butter sandwich. Witnesses say
the man then shouted "Never fear! The thick, creamy
justice of MY sandwich will destroy the shackles
subjugating this poor creature to the villainous slave
master John Croy!" The mask-wearing man then allegedly
whipped his danger sticks above his head before snatching
Shirley Poo and running out the front doors of the church,
taking a bite of his sandwich as he fled. "We usually hear of
these sort of things happening in Florida, not so close to
home, says Sheriff Andy Taylor, one of the first to respond
to the scene. Police are now looking for the masked
suspect, in relation to the church damages, and the
missing poodle, Shirley Poo. If you have any information
3

MAYBERRY DAILY

SPRING 2016

MAYBERRY ENCOUNTERS ALIENS

It was a late night in the town of Mayberry. Sherriff Taylor was locking up the cells,
drinking a nice, hot cup of coffee. A sudden green light was coming from the
outside. The prisoners were trembling in their cells, and Sherriff Taylor felt the need
to explore the unknown light. Scared but eager to know Sherriff Taylor went out the
back way, gripping his flashlight tightly. *GASP* A flying spaceship was in the sky
floating above him. He froze in shock and fear, and then fainted. Upon waking up
he was surrounded by green creatures. After a few hours of conversation, Sherriff
Taylor realized the aliens really did come in peace. From that night on, the aliens
and Sherriff Taylor became great friends.