In Living Color

By: Casey Leavitt

Who's Fishin' for Who?

By: Michelle Flores
Sheriff Andy and his son were out at the fishin' hole

a bit too much as Sheriff Andy managed

to flip his boat over with all the fish they were reeling in!
Opie and Sheriff Andy were floundering in the water for
a good ten minutes trying to flip over their boat and
rescue the fish they caught. Eventually they gave up and
decided to swim to shore and pull along their boat with
only one fish saved for dinner. They stripped down to
their skivvies to dry off before getting in the Sheriff's car
to head home. All the fish were happy to be back in the
water to live another day!

Coming Soon to Mayberry!

By: Leslye Pineda
Rumor is spreading quickly in the town of
Mayberry! The chamber of commerce announced
that Wal-Mart is coming to town. The whole town
is talking about this new store, they have never
heard of it before. Town folks hope for the best,
although some have a negative feeling about it.
What many don't know is that the Wal-Mart coming
to Mayberry is going to be the first store to only
sale toys and children clothes. It will not affect
locally owned grocery stores or the famous
weekend farmers market. Its going to be a huge
surprise for all the children in town. Opie will have
a blast shopping for outdoor recreational toys with
his dad and aunt Bee.

Changes are coming to Mayberry. As locals we

know that Mayberry has been one of North
Carolinas best keep secrets. Our streets are clean,
our schools are top notch and thanks to our sheriff,
Andy Taylor, Mayberry has been voted Americas
safest city for 50 years running. Our town is a
wonderful place to live and raise a family. The only
thing our town is missing is color. If you have lived
here long enough, you probably dont even notice it
anymore, but everything in Mayberry is black and
white. According to sources, a local named
Beatrice Taylor who goes by Aunt Bee has been
gathering signatures on her petition to have our
town updated with colors. The change may come as
a shock for some of our townsfolk who have been
accustomed to our comfortable and soothing shades
of gray. The possibility of this change has sparked
lively debates among out citizens. Young Opie
Taylor is excited about seeing colors for the first
time. I think it would be swell, colors sure sound
neat, says Opie. Others are not so sure about the
whole idea. I dont like it; I dont see why we
need color. We have gotten along just fine without
them, says sheriffs deputy Barney Fife. For now,
the change seems inevitable. Lets just hope this is
a decision we will not all regret in the future.

The Mayberry Reporter

Page |2

ATTENTION MAYBERRY

There Goes The Town of Mayberry!!

By: Melissa Villalba

By: Crystral Hill

A local Farmers Market is coming soon to our town

and will be a feature from now on. This event will be
held every first of the month at the Fishing Hole. We
need our town to come together to add additional
booths such as assorted fresh fruit, fresh veggies,
baked goods, and organic foods.
Our first event will be a huge celebration! Bakers are
needed! We will be holding a pie baking contest.
Aunt bee whom you all know will be hosting the
contest and the judges are the people of Mayberry.
Also the local barber, Floyd Lawson will give away
FREE haircuts to kids to celebrate our fresh first
month at the Fishing Hole. There will be many
games and prizes for children of all ages. The loyal
drinker and bar owner of Mayberry, Otis, will
holding a beer tasting drinking contest. He
challenges anyone to out drink him. Mayor Pike will
be his first opponent so that should be on interesting
event to watch. So join us friends and family to share
our goods and join in the celebration! May 1, 1932
Saturday at the Fishing Hole.
Signups to contribute will be held next week at
Mayberrys Town Hall. March 25, 1932 at 1:00pm
on 214 Main Street.

Earlier this month, our small town of Mayberry was

excited to announce the arrival of the kind people of
the Jersey Shore. As most of you probably read in
last weeks paper our quaint town was chosen to be
the filming area of the new Jersey Shore television
show. Now, asking around, none of us knew what
that particular show was about so we agreed
happily. The stars of this show are; Pauly D,
Snooki, J Wow, Sammie Sweatheart, Vinny,
Ronnie, and The Situation. Since filming started
last week there has been several problems cause by
this group of individuals. Goober and Gomer
reported that these eight people bought out all of the
alcohol in the filling station, causing Otis to start a
riot and destroy several shelves of stock. Otis was
taken to the station for a time out. Thelma Lou and
Aunt Bea report sexual harassment from the male
members of this group. Opie filed a restraining
order on one Niccole Snooki Polizzi for sexual
harassment and stalking. One Paul Pauly D
DelVecchio assaulted Floyd at the barber shop for
Messing up the hair. As of today the town has
finished burning the beds at the bed and breakfast
that they were staying at, and emptied, scrubbed and
refilled the town swimming pool where they swam,
in order to stop the risk of spreading diseases. Our
brave sheriff Andy and deputy Barnie have looked
into all of the cases surrounding these incidents and
the criminals have been apprehended and removed.
Our mayor passed a bill stating that anyone from
this Jersey Shore is not to be allowed to enter our
town, unless passing through.

22 Million Dollar Jackpot Has

Been Claimed
By: Cinthia Paez
Suzy Smith, from Mayberry came forward Tuesday
evening to claim the 22 million dollar jackpot. "I
am shocked, but grateful for this." Smith is a
convenience store owner and claims she took her
time claiming the prize. "It felt like I was dreaming.
I wanted to make sure it wasn't a dream and woke
up." Lottery officials confirmed that Smith indeed
had the winning lottery ticket and after taxes will be
paid a lump sum of 14 million dollars. "I don't
know exactly what I'll do with the money, but I'll
definitely be giving the store workers a raise, invest
some of it, and donate to my church.

The Mayberry Reporter

Page |3

Lost Lunch Money

By: Jennifer Bardo

New Neighbor Next Door

For the past two weeks Marie Hule has been

complaining to us about someone stealing her childs
lunch money. Johnnys school has claimed that there
has been no bullying on their property and refuses to
refund her the charges on Johnnys account. This is
a serious issue, replied Mrs. Hule. Johnny wont
even tell me who did it he fears for his behind so
much! Our junior reported decided to investigate.
She caught Johnny walking to school one morning
and followed him there to catch the culprit redhanded. He turned the corner on Maybury Lane, one
street before his school. Following a little closer our
reporter saw little Johnny go into Torys
Convenience store and come out with a piece of
bubblegum and a comic book. Finally our reporter
cut Johnny off his track and asked him how he
affords such expensive leisure items, in which he
replied with nothing but a stream of tears. What was
originally a story of bullying and theft turned out to
be a boy with an affliction for superheroes. Peace is
once again restored into our little town; we can all
sleep again at night.

By: Ronalli Enriquez

A local Mayberry neighborhood has been turned
upside down this week as numerous reports have
come in about suspicious behavior from a newly
moved in neighbor. A single woman, early 30's,
seemed to be a "nice lady" states resident, Jan
Brady. "She seemed like a nice young woman,
until things just didnt add up." "I was walking
my dog one night and saw her silhouette one
second, and gone the next. Then I thought I was
seeing things, but I swear I think I saw her
fly." Officer Griffin went to the young woman's
residence and tells us that when arriving to the
home, he heard sneezing. The young woman
answered the door, twitched her nose, and all of a
sudden, the couch disappeared. He couldn't
believe his eyes. She sneezed again, and then his
car disappeared. He immediately radioed in for
back up, but the young woman known as
Samantha, hasn't been seen since. Please report
suspicious behavior, or sightings of this missing
person directly to local authorities.

Dropped Calls
By: Matthew Renegar

Mayberry Bake Sale

By: Rachel Swenson
Mayberry Middle School is having their annual bake
sale. All of the proceeds will go towards Mayberry's
Middle School to buy new sports equipment for the
kids to use. The schools goal is to raise $500.00
dollars, so they can buy new basketball equipment,
soccer equipment and hockey gear for the school's
PE department. Come all to the annual bake sale to
benefit and support your local middle school kids.
They will be selling cookies, cupcakes, brownies and
pies. It all starts at 9 am sharp, Please join us for this
great event and support your community

Local resident were shocked late last night finding

they unable to make or receive long distance phone
calls. Sheriff Taylor discovered the root of the
problem to be an auto accident involving Mayberry's
online long distance telephone pole. After a
thorough investigation Sheriff Taylor traced
ownership of the car back to one Malcom Tucker,
who was found at Wally's Gas station in search of
help. Mr. Tucker will be staying with Sheriff Taylor
until his car is repaired while Gomer has seen to the
interruption in phone service.

The Mayberry Reporter

Page |4

The Mayberry Reporter

By: Natalie Valdez
Attention! Attention! Citizens of Mayberry, there
was been a robbery. Someone has come into our
town and held up the bank on main St. our main
suspect is Drake and his posy, Cash Money. He
has been reported whistling the Andy Griffith theme
song! Recently he has been reported saying, I must
have a quarter million on me right now. We think
he robbed us because his main lady, Nikki Minaj,
needs new booty implants! We dont know how they
managed to get into the city and leave without going
unnoticed. If anyone has any information or ideas of
where Drakes whereabouts- Please contact Odie at
the sheriffs station

Extra, Extra.. READ ALL ABOUT

IT!!

Bikers in Mayberry
By: Rocio Alcantar-Garcia
Reported on the 21st of February, bikers have
moved into the town of Mayberry, North Carolina.
It seems they go by the group name of Sons of
Anarchy. Sheriff Andy and his deputy have been on
alert and ready to respond to any calls. As of yet
nothing strange has happened. Sheriff Andy
however is ready to apprehend anyone who is seen
doing any illegal activity. Jax Teller, the leader of
the group was interviewed. His statement, I have no
idea what this Andy guy as against us! Im sick and
tired of people assuming we are up to no good.
While being interviewed we did notice the sheriff
creeping around the corner. Friendly neighbors
Lucy and Dezi say they have not noticed anything
strange; they actually seem like good boys. Lucy
went on to add, I actually want to take a ride on
one of the bikes! They just look so fast and fun!

By: Christina
Mayberry Police have finally found the ice cream
bandit!! Lately, ice cream from John's Ice Cream
Parlor has gone missing at night. Sheriff Andy
finally had enough of all of the Rocky Road going
missing and set out on a manhunt for the culprit.
With no heavy leads, he decided to have a stake out
at the ice cream parlor. While patiently waiting, a
furry, four legged monster walked inside. The
sheriff waited outside until he heard a purring. A fat
cat came walking out with a collar belonging to
Mrs. Smith. In honor of the case being solved, John
will be giving out free scopes of Rocky Road all
day!

Could there be romance on the down low

in Mayberry?
By: Krysta Palma - Coleman
It was reported late Tuesday night that Aunt Bea
and Otis were spotted smooching in a corner at a
local restaurant. Deputy Barney was working the
night shift while patrolling through Mayberry when
he spotted the two love birds snuggled pretty close
while trying to keep a low profile. When reporters
asked Sherriff Andy what he thought of the
allegations, Sheriff Andy smiled at the reporters but
was not interested in commenting on the
allegations. Though the reports of this romance
have not yet been confirmed nor denied, we'll be
keeping a close eye out on these two.