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TUESDAY, APRIL 6, 2010

Numb

I walk, but when I walk I do not see.


I listen.
I listen to the voice in my head, but not to the birds chirping in the back ground.
I walk a familiar path, and yet I'm still lost.
The voice in my head wants me to run, but yet I still walk.
I'm walking in circles; my yellow brick road seems to have no end.
As I walk I try not to slip on the ice, or step in the mud.
I walk fast with my hands in my pockets because it is cold.
Once I get home I realize I should have walked slower.
Even though I do not see I am beginning to feel again.
I don't like feelings so instead I listen to the voice in my head forgets...that I
cannot see.
How can I find what will make me numb if I cannot see, it is forcing me to feel for
it.
A contradiction, it is impossible to feel for the numbness.
So I continue to walk and try to force myself to see.
But like I've said before the sun is blinding.
I force my eyes closed again, reluctant to let them get used to the brightness.
NO, not reluctant, refusing.
It’s uncomfortable and unfamiliar.
I do not like feelings.
So with my eyes forced closed, unable to adjust to this blinding sun I find my
numbness and the voice in my head is then quiet...finally.

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