45.
I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR HEART OUT WITH A
101 WITTY PALADIN SAYINGS
1. And now, judgement!
2. The day your sins rise against you is at hand!
3. EVERY day is judgement day!
4. (to the tune of the Ride of the Valkyrie)
fight for justice, Kill For Truth, SLAY ALL EVIL, ta t-t-
taaaa
5. The cherry blossom falls upon the soil; the sword falls
upon the foe.
6. Come out and fight foul spawn of the underworld.
7. I challenge you in the name of Tyr, God of Justice!
8. Die creature of darkness!
9. I am ___, champion of justice! In the name of ___ I
will right wrongs and triumph over evil; and that means
you!
10. Die, head-in-the-clouds!"
11. Come eat cold steel, things of the underworld!
12. Throw down your swords and prepare to be judged!
13. Drain this, fang-boy!
14. You! Yes, you! The boney thing! Die!
15. Yo, she-bitch! (Unsheaths sword) Let's go!
16. Nighty-night, zombies!
17. Hey, ugly, green, and terminally unwashed! Come here
and fight like a man!
18. SPOON! - Not in the face! Not in the face!
19. Ad majorem dei gloriam. - For the greater glory of god
20. Go bleech your roots, creep!
21. Allright boys, let's dance!
22. It's a great day to be a Paladin.
23. Get some!
24. Punish or be punished.
25. Squeal like a pig!
26. Start prayin' boy, and you better pray real good.
27. Hey, foul villains! Knock off all that evil!!
28. The first step in making friends is *not to eat people*.
29. Evildoers! Eat my Justice!
30. Let's hang ten for Justice!
31. Avaunt foul feindish thingy!!!
32. Un-tentacle that fair ingenou!
33. Eat my shorts, dark spawn of fat women!!!
34. I`ll slay the evil fiend, and smile, because I smile a lot
and have a lot of teeth.
35. You had better watch your manners demon or I`ll give
one hell of a wedgie!!!!
36. Your shoes are untied!
37. Evil doers beware!
38. I've come to demand the surrender of Hell!
39. There can't be more than 50 of them, I won't be hurt!
40. To have the courage for fighting means to have the
courage for victory!"
41. Within our quest we are invincible.
42. Prepare to meet thy highest judge.
43. Thy soul be blessed and thy sins forgiven.
44. You ____ ! -infidel
-heretic
-mongrel
-cur
-cad
-villain
-slime
SPOON!!!!
46. I'm going to cut your heart out with a kender!
47. WHAT.... is the capitol of Assyria?
48. WHAT.... is the airspeed velocity of an unladen
swallow?
49. Prepare to feel the Wrath of all that is good, Hell Spawn!
50. Evil always turns in on itself - Justice shall prevail!
51. For God and country!
52. All that is good and holy, aid me now as I confront this
vile evil!
53. Prepare to atone for your sins!
54. Renounce your foul deeds now and I shall spare you.
55. I claim this land for all that is good, leave now and I
shall not destroy you.
56. Repent now or spend your after life in eternal
damnation.
57. With Justice <insert favorite deity> judges and makes
war upon the foul and unrighteous!
58. <insert favorite deity> has deemed you unworthy - I am
his/her sword hand, prepare to meet damnation.
59. When Evil walks abroad, I must confront it.
60. May my sword do my God's will!
61. Prepare to make your maker!
62. I am prepared to meet my maker, are you?
63. With my dying breath I shall continue to remove the
tarnish of your shadow from this world!
64. Summon your faith! It shall make us strong in the face
of this obscene evil!
65. The courage of one can change the destiny of many.
66. Prepare to feel the iron gauntlet of Tyr the Evenhanded!
67. Surrender, cowardly followers of evil!
68. I'm gonna KICK your sorry ass!
69. SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAMMITY SPAM,
SPAMMITY SPAM!
70. DOOM!
71. I am Ergol the magnificent: small in stature, large
in power, narrow of purpose, and wide of vision. I
have the power to make your piss turn blue!"
while unsheathing sword: Let me introduce you to a
friend of mine...
72. (with a look of boredom and frustration) More <enemy
type>!! Gods, and I just finished cleaning up from the last
bunch!!"
73. Can you, like, surrender NOW or something?
74. Uhhhh...I'm like, gonna kick your ass. Uh huh huh, huh
huh.
75. while charging:
YAAAaaaaawwwwnnnn...mhhm...mhhm...mm.
76. DDIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!
77. DIE!DIE!DIE!DIE!DIE!DIE!DIE!DIE!DIE!DIE!
78. Don't MAKE me come over there after you!
79. Surrender now or face me!..no, no... Give up now and I
mean it!...no....You still have a chance to surr(finishes his
charge and attacks), oh, never mind.
80. (If fighting some beautiful enemy)Back foul temptress!
Even though thine image dost set my loins afire, I shall not
be deterred from my task!
81. while attacking: "OUCH! Now that's GOTTA hurt!"
82. So, come here often?"
83. OH YEAH, want some more, do ya'. Come and get it,
and get it.YEAH! Hey, I got some for you too! Here ya' go.
Feels good, don't it!?!
84. Just a flesh wound.
85. I see that your schwartz is as BIG as mine! Now, let's
see how well you handle it!
86. Fight, fight, fight. That's all I do around here. Day-in,
day-out.
87. Bash this, slice that, castrate whatever. How come I
don't get to do any of the fun stuff?"
88. after battle: "That's it?"
89. Has anyone seen my sword?(amidst piles of bodies)
90. Whoa, lookit the gash on that one!
91. Well, I don't know about ya'all, but I could use a drink.
92. If you kill me, I will only become more powerful!
93. I am not a coward, but it is not fitting for me to get my
suit of armor dirty, I gotta be an example to the kids!
94. WHAT.... is the average rainfall of the amazon baisin?
95. After defeating but not dispatching..."Remember, no
matter where you go, or how powerful you become, there
will always be someone out there mightier than you. And
that someone is me."
96. Let me convince you of the error of your ways.
97. Tell me if this hurts.
98. This is your ticket to the afterlife.
99. (talking to his sword) "Here's the goblin I promised you.
100. It wouldn't be proper for me to put this back without
killing SOMETHING!
101. Try not to bleed all over my boots.
102. You demons are all alike... blah, blah, blah."
103. Why am I not worried?
104. To the undead..."You won't be so lucky this time."
105. Save your diseases for the less righteous."
106. Looks like you've lost a few fights in your day."
107. God befriend us, as our cause is just!"
108. Doomsday is near; die all, die merrily"
109. Say thy prayers, and farewell.
110. ...and you shall know that I am the Lord when I strike
upon thee with great vengence...
111. Holy Avenger Batman!
112. (after a brawl to opponent) Here are your teeth...
113. Ahhh c'mon its not so bad... Its just the Abyss
114. (to a demon) You are one ugly motherfucker.