Dear Wife/ Sw D weetheart/Gir Friend/ Par rl rtner/whome ever it may co oncern,

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Be etween 11 June and 11 July 2 2010, you shou read the sp uld ports section of the newspape so that you a aware of er are what is going on regarding the World of Socc w n e cer, and that w you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail way to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you w be totally ig o d will gnored. DO NO complain ab OT bout not re eceiving any att tention. d evision is mine, at all times, w without any exc ceptions. If you even take a g u glimpse of the During the World Cup, the tele emote control, you will lose it (your eye). re f don't mind, as l long as you do it crawling on the floor and o If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I d without distracting me. w es nd, equire a refill o my drink or s of something to eat. You are out t During the game I will be blin deaf and mute, unless I re of your mind if you expect me to listen to you open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the ba that just fell f y u, e aby on the floor....It won't happen. n t ood east 2 six packs in the fridge a all times, as well as plenty of things to s at It would be a go idea for you to keep at le ni ibble on (excluding your body parts), and pl y lease do not m make any funny faces to my fr y riends when the come over ey to watch the gam o mes. In return, you will be allowed to use th TV between 12am and 6am unless they replay a good , he n m, y ga ame that I miss during the day. sed lease, please, please!! If you see me upset because one o my teams is l p of losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a T r Pl ga ame", or "don't worry, they'll win next time" If you say th t ". hese things, you will only mak me angrier a I will love u ke and yo less. Remem ou mber, you will n never ever kno more about football than m and your so called "words of ow me o s en ncouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce. " Yo are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to m during halftime but only w ou e me when the co ommercials are on, and only i the half time scores is pleas e if sing me. In add dition, please n note I am sayin "one" game; ng he ence do not us the World Cu as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time t se up o together". Th replays of th goals are ve important. I don't care if I have seen the or I haven't seen them, I want to see he he ery em th hem again, Man times. ny Te your friends NOT to have a babies, or any other child related partie or gatherings that requires my ell s any d es at ttendance beca ause: a) I will not go, ) b) I will not go, and ) c) I will not go. )

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ut, o e me, h. 10. Bu if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a gam we will be there in a flash he s every night is ju as importan as the games themselves. Do not even ust nt 11. Th daily World Cup highlights show on TV e th hink about saying "but you ha already see this...why do you change the channel t something w can all ave en on't to we watch?" because the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list". w e, s 12. An finally, please save your expressions suc as "Thank Go the World C is only every 4 years". I a immune to nd ch od Cup am th hese words, because before a after this co and omes the Cham mpions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish , Le eague, KPL, FA Cup, Euro Cup etc. A p, /S P/ y ou the A. By the way if yo get stuck on the road call t Police or AA Th hank you for yo cooperation. our